HCOD RIVER GLACIER, TH0KBDAY, APRIL 11, 1007 The Perkins Familu Have Their Troubles Why the Hed of the Family Du Not Exchange an Old Piano For a New One. (Copyright. UM, by th. McClur. New paper Syndicate. MB. AXD MRS. PEBKIXS baJ got aeated for the evening and were seemingly content L and happy when she looked vp from ber book and Queried: "Mr. Perking, would It put you out try much If I were to ask you a ques tion V "Why, dear, you may ask me tea thousand.'' "And you won't be vexed V "Nothing you could say would tei em. Proceed." "Well, one day last May, when wi were sitting on the front steps, I spoki to you about the piano. Do you re member?" "I do, my dear, and I have the evi dence right here In my pocket My memorandum book says it was on th 18th day at 8 o'clock In the afternoon. It was a beautiful day. What you said to me about the piano was: " "It Is forty years old. " It Is old fashioned. "It has straight legs. M There are seven broken keys. " The pedals are out of order. M It wheezes like an old horse. " 'Everybody makes fun of it " "Can't you turn it in toward a new Ml Those were your observations, Mrs. Perkins. Have you anything to add to them tonight?" "Did you put down what you said In reply r "I did, and here It Is: '"Tea, It Is an old piano. "1 have been ashamed of It for years. "'During the next three months I ehall turn It In toward a new one. "'It must drive the neighbors dis tracted to hear you try to play on It "'Bay no more, darling. You shall have a new piano before the 1st of September.' Those were our respective remarks and observations, Mrs. Perkins, aa ao "SHB WAS POTODmo." curately recorded here, and have you anything to add to them at this mo- jnentr "Well, I wanted to call your atten tion to the fact that September had come and gone." "I acknowledge It" "And the old piano stands there yet In the parlor." "Acknowledged again." "And, so far as I know, no steps have been taken to replace It with a new one." "Not a step, Mrs. Perkins, and I am now prepared to reason the case with you. I have been expecting to reason It with you for the last month In fact, I was hoping you would speak to me About It this very evening." "Well, I have spoken." Tou see, my dear," began Mr. Per kins, as he drew a long breath, "we must begin at the beginning. Neither of us Is a musician. We have neither on nor daughter to play. We might Just as well have a corn sheller In the parlor for all the use we could make of It If we bad a thousand dollar piano, what good would It do us?" "Why, I play, and you know I do and have praised me," replied Mrs. Perkins In an Injured tone. "My dear woman, let us look facts In the face. Tou drum on the piano. Tou howl an accompaniment You roll your eyes. You hump your shoulders At various times I have said that you played beautifully. I did It to keep you playing and have revenge on the neighbors." "How dare you talk to me that way?" "Come, now, be reasonable. You never took a music lesson In your life, did your "No, but what of that?" "You can't sing any more than a crow." "But if I can'f- "I don't revert to these things to hu miliate you, Mrs. Perkins, but simply to clear the ground for a start It la a husband's business to praise his wife's playing even If It gives him toothache. The cold fact is that net ther of us can play or sing. Therefore, of what use Is a thousand dollar piano? You will answer that one would look nice In the parlor. I agree with you, but when you have a 81,000 piano you must have a $500 rug to go with It; eJso a new parlor suit" "But there are several neighbor! who ran play and sing," protested Mrs. Par kin "I haven't the slightest doubt of It, m. Perkins. There are several neign hora who can wear your hats and hoes, but are you going to keep hats nd shoes for the neighbors? suppose, however, that we went ahead and got new piano. Do you know that piano l 1.1 playing makes women rouna anouiuer ed and weak chested and consump- "I never heard that It did and don't holleve it ." "I could give you medical statistics years paralysis of the arms has be come so common that the doctors at tribute It to piano playing. There are hundreds of Instances where young ladles have lost the use of both arms for a year. If we had a piano I couldn't run the risk of your losing the use of your anna. How, then, could you longer hug me? How prepare the meals and make the bed?" "You are simply trying to twist out of It, just as you always do," said Mrs. Perkins, with ber eyes full or tears. My dear, I am no twister. I am simply a logician and a philosopher. I reason things to a conclusion. We cannot afford a 1,000 piano, and on top of It a 8900 rug. a $250 parlor suit and five or alx paintings costing $100 apiece. All that capital would be shut up In a cold parlor for the winter. If put Into Ice for next season It might be doubled. And there's another thing." Oh, you can be finding excuses for a week to come." "This Is no excuse, bnt a fact That old straight legged, broken keyed piano belonged to my first wife. Don't Jump up and grow red In the face, for I'm not hitting at you. The first time I called to see her, when we were both young people, she was playing on that piano. She was pounding. She was bowling. Her eyes were rolling heav enward. I fell In lore with her at once. "I won't atay!" declared Mrs. Per kins as she stamped ber foot on the floor. 'Just a moment my dear. She con tlnued to pound and bowl all through our engagement She brought the old piano along when we were married, Every day and every evening It was pound and howl. I talked to her of the risks she ran, but she was self willed. She finally began to fade. The doctor said she lusted a year longer than he expected, but she went with a rush when she did go. She had been pound ing and howling one evening and the neighbors had telephoned for the po lice and all the dogs for a mile around were barking, when I observed a sad den change come over her, and she fell off the piano stool and was dead In a moment She never opened her eyes or spoke. There's my case, Mrs. Per kins, and" I say you are a dodger and a twister!" exclaimed Mrs. Perkins as she gave a sniff of contempt and walk ed stiffly out of the room. Mr. Perkins stooped to scratch his ankle and then straightened up to scratch his nose and then smiled and said to himself: "But then, don't a married man have to be?" M. QUAD. (J ood Judgment is the essential characteristic of rren and woman. Invaluable to good bus iness men and necessary to bouse wives. A woman shows good judge ment wheu she buys White's Cream Ve umuae for her baby. The best worm medioiue ever ottered to moth- Many indeed are tbp sensible mothers, who write expressing their gratitude lor the good bealtn of tben children, which they owe to tbo use of While s Cream Vermltuge. bold by Cbas. N. Clarke, Don't Put Off for tomorow what you can do today. If you put oil bulug a bottle ot lial- lard's Snow Liniment, when that pain comes you won't nave any, tuy a botllo toduy. A positive cure for reuQiatiem, burns, outs, sprains, con traotrd muscles, etc T. S. (Jraam, Prairie Urcve. Ark. writes: "1 wisb to thank you for the good results 1 received from Snow Liim ment. 1 rositively cured me of rheu inatiein alter others had failed. Sold by Chas. N. Clarke. What Ails YouT TVk nn tan) waa.1t. tlrttl. Hfimndfml a rv j w v wi f t i - have frequent headaches, coated tongue, hittnt np non ihsta in mnrn mv. -iiHi&rt burn," belching of gas, acid risings In throat after eating, stomach gnaw or burn, foul Dream, aizzy speiis, poor or variable appetite, nausea at times and kindred symptoms? If youStave any considerable number oi thevaboveSisnntoms you are suffering froraillousneEoerpld liver with lndl tcstlonejaVspcpsm Dr. Pierce's Golden Mprilr-al Disfovorv Is piade up of the mosj valnahle medicinal prjnclpTes known t medical science for he p(rqpflf;ftrnr ol such abnormal condition It Is a moil efficient Irver Invigorator. stomach tonic, bowel regulator and nerve strengthener. The "Golden Medical Discovery " Is not ft patent medicine or secret nostrum, a full list of Its Ingredient being printed on Its bottle-wrapper and attested under oath. A glance at Its formula will show that It contains no alcohol, or harmful habit-forming drugs. It Is a fluid extract made with pure, triple-refined glycerine, of proper strength, from the roots of the following native American forest plant, viz., Golden Seal root, Stone root, Black Cherrybark, Queen's root, Bloodroot, and Mandrake root Thn following leadlnt- medical authorities. among- a host of others, extol the foregoinf roots for the cure of just such allmenU as the above symptoms inuicate: rror.K. nirmoiow, M. D., of JefTerson Med. College, Phila. : Prot H.C Wood. M. l..of UnlT.of Pa.! Prof.Edwin M. Hale. M. I)., of Hahnemann Med. College, CJitcago; Prof. John King. M. D., Author ot American Dispensatory; Prof. Jno. M. Scud dor. M. D.. Authorof Specific Medicines; Prof. Laurence Jolinson. M. u.. moq. nep. unir.oi N V Pmf. Finlev Elltnirwood. M. I).. Author of Materia Med lea and Prof. In Bennett Medi cal College, Chicago, fend name and ad dress on Postal t;ara to vt. K. v. rierce. our falo. N. Y and receive fret booklet giving extracts from writings of all the above medi cal authors and many others endorsing, in the strongest possible terms, each ana every in gredient of which "Golden Medical Discov ery " Is composed, r Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellete regulate aa4 Invigorate stomach, liver and bowels. Thef mv be used In conjunction wun -uoiaen Medical Discovery " if bowels are much con stipated. They're tiny and sugar-coated. Bert for N I Co"(U.roi, 1 I Whoeslns I I Ne Opiates, 1 Conforms to 1 1 National Pare I I Food and I Drag lw. 1 I in eoart rvraps eoatanuag aaUtM eeagti fate ths bowels. Bee's Laxative lossy aa4 far moves the bowels ant ooatains aoepiatee. KIER & CASS, Druggists Xatlos't Wealth 107 Billions. The following report of the wealth of the United States baa just been given out ina loiai emimaie or ma o.nuuau wealth in 1904 was 8107.10i.192.410, aoooidfng to a speeial report issued today by the oensns bureau on weann, debt and taxation, wbioh represents sn increase in the tour yeai period from 1900 to 1904 of $18, 588, 885.635. Tbia advance In national wealth has no parallel in the history of the Unit ed States except the decade from 1850 to 1800. In 1850, wben ine nrst esti mates of the national wealth were made, the figures were only 17, UV 780,228. Tbe most potent cause for the increase in tbe nation's wealth from 1900 to 1904, it is stated, was tbe reaction from the low prioes of the period of depression fiom 1893 to 189U. 1 be annual increase oi wottnu per family from 1900 to 1904 waa $182. Peach Orchards Increasing. Annordlns to the United states oen sos reports, there were in the United States 63,886,000 peach treea In 1890 and 99,919,000 in 190U, an increase or more tban 85 per cent in ten years. Dnrins this time the nu'nber in New Jersev decreased from 4.414,000 in 1890 to 2,747,UUU in liAU, losa m oo pero ent Ontv three states showed a decrease New Jersey, Maryland and Delaware. Ever otner state inci eased us peaon orchards. In 1890 tbese three states bad 28 per cent of all the peaon trees la tbe UDltea biaiea. id iww luey had only 9 per cent. Bitten by Bplcler. by a spider dim. jonu wauuiugiuii. uf Bosquevllle, Tex., would have lost i a .. m L.1 a. bis leg, wmon rjeoame a mans m ruu ni inmi hari ha not been Dersuaded to tiy Uucklen'a Arnica Salve. He 11... inri,. flnt annlinntlnn ra- lieved, and four boxes healed all tbe " hasih avarv sore, aa ai Cbas. N. Clarke, druggist. At the Churches. MtKi;itPrecliinff at 11 a. m. and a r. m Knhhath school 10 a. ID.'. Ed worth League 7 p. m. Prayer meeting . 0 i .11 i:..lt.. Thursaay evening, aii ouruuuiy iu- ed. W. U. fcvans, pasior. Episcopal services at 11 a. m. the third Sunday in each month, conducted by Archdeacon II. D. Chambers. Sun day School every Bundar at 10 a. m. U. B. Church Sabbath school, 10 a, m. j preaching, 11 a, m.; Y. P. C. E, 7:15 p. m.; preaching, 8:00 p. m. Prayer n.iino at h n. ui. Wednesday. Junior Society Saturday at 8 p. m. All are cordially invited to attend an or any oi these services. Pastor, J. W. Sprecher. rk.;.i;.n rlnir.0iPiarhinff services at K. of P. Hall each Sunday evening and at 11 a. m. eacn nrsi aim mini ouu day, and at Odell at 11:30 a. m. each second and fourth Sunday. Sunday school at 10 a. m. and Y. P. S. C. E. at 6:30 p. m. each Bunday at K. of P, Hall. Cordial initation to the puplic. W. A. Wood, Minister. Baptist church Sunday school 10 a. m. ; preaching 11 a. m. ; Junior B. Y.P. U., 3 p. m. ; evening service 7.30. Riverside Ccngregatlonal Church, V. CGilmore, pantor. Service Sun day at 11 a. in., Christian Enduavor at 7 p, m., evening worship at 8 p. m. Belmont 11. K, Church. H. C. Clark, pastor. Services, Belmont: Sunday ..v.l ,, t in n m f.lnsn meeting at 11 OlllUlM U " , ' 1? - a. in. j Epworth League 7 p. in. : preach ing every Sunday evening and 2d Sun day in moiitfl oi i a. m, , -rrayer iiiee, ing Thursday 7:30 p, m. Services at Pine Grove same as above except preach ing, which is on 1st and 3d Sundays at 11 a. m. Crapper. 1st and 3d Sundays at 3 :30 ; Sunday school at 2 :S0. Mount Hood. The 4th Sunday at 11 a. m.; Sundav school at 10 a. m. Catholic Church Regular eervicse very Sund iy. HOMESICK! A K YOU GOING EAST? We can save you money on freighting household goods. Write H for rate and other particular!. O'eson Auto-Despatch Co. hut imrr nituhi.oiimi SNOW & UPSON Blacksmiths and Wagon flakers Special attention given to making and repairing Grubbing Tools and Loggers Tools EXPERT HORSESHOERSj JOHN LELAND HENDERSON, Attorney-at-Law and Notary Pnblic J. M. SCHMELTZER, Sec.-Treaa. Notary Public ..Hood River Land-Emporium INCORPORATED I Real Estate, Loans, Collections, Conveyancing and Surveying We are prepared in a special manner to handle all kinds of business in any of the above lines and have a large list of improved lands and city property from which to make your selection for a fruit ranch, a stock farm or a home in the city. With an Extensive Correspondence We are able to handle your prop erty advantageously and will be pleased to have you list same with us CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED The president of the company is the city engineer, and is prepared to do surveying and civil engineer ing work of all kinds. Abstracts fuinished and opinions given on property titles. Collections a Specialty. BARGAINS IN REAL ESTATE I lOariM suburban nmnsrtv. lava fine, all under cultivation, 3 acres in berries, 2 In apples of the best varieties. 2. 8 acres close to town, all im- J imlannl trM a rwl Hriutt ni other fruit. House and other buildings. 3. 7 acres 1 miles out, 6 acres in bearing orchard, mostly Spitzenberg and Newtowna. Fine location, water with the place. Easy terms. 4. 10 acres z miles out, finely im- nmoarl 9 anrma In annlea. 2 in berries. (rood soil and good buildings, good buy. 5. 20 acres 0 miles out, 5 acres in apples, rest easily cleared ; nearly all good apple una. 6. 20 acres 7 miles out, all choice annln land : nearlv one half cleared and 5 acres in beet varieties of apples. 7. Six 40-aore tracts of fine apple land in good locations, ether partly im proved or unimproved on easy terms. The above are only a few aamplet of tbe bargains we have to offer. We have a vaiiety of other properties listed in all parts of tbe vauey, also anytuing you want in city property OnthanK eft Otten Hood River Oregon Unusual Opportunity Lota In Riverview Park at a big re duction for 30 days. 18n W. J. Baker & Co. For Sale, Timber Land The BE( of NWJ, SWi of NEJ, NWJ of SE1. NE1 of 8WJ of Section 11, Town ship 1, north of range 9, Wasco county, Oregon. Address CHAS. BERNARD, f21-3m1 400 N. 2d St., Ashland, Wis. D R . JONES, Dentist Crown and Bridge Wort Teeth Without Plates. Treatment of diseased teeth and gums, Office Broalus Building. Phone 1033, Arrival and Departure of Malls. HOOD RIVER. The Doatoflloe Is open daily hat ween I a. ru and 7 p. m.: Sunday Iroi U to 1 o'clock. Mails lor me nasi oiuse w u.s. l ui .iv p, im. a d. ni : for tbe West, al ' U0 D. m. and I P. m. Tbe carriers on H.K.I). rouUs Mo, 1 audi leave tbe postoffloe at 1.30 a. m. Mall leaves For MU Hood, dally at Urn.; arrives 10.) a. ui. For Underwood, Wash., dally ,'exoept Bun dav. at i m.. arrives al 11 a. m. For While Walmon, Wash., dally at Una.; arrives at 11 a. in, WHITE SALMON. For Hood River, dally at ( a. m.; arrives at t p. m. For Husura, Trout ljke and Outer, Wash, dally at 7.3U a. m.; arrives 5 p. m. For Uleuwood, Fulda and Ullmer, Wash, daily at 7.30 a. in.: arrives at 5 D. m. For Pine Fiat and Hnowded. Wash., at 1 p. m. tuesdaya and aalurdays; arrives same days at li ni. For Hiugen, da at p. n-i arrives at P.. G". CARPENTERING SCREENS Shop opposite 0. B. Hartley's residence Phone 571 Pres. MARION I H IMIRr- Vice President Insurance, Abstracts, Phone Main 141. COB i Eureka Meat Market McGUIRE BROS., Props. Dealers in Fresh and Cured Meats, Lard foultry, rruits and Vegetables, rnee Delivery. Phone Main 35. U. S. Commissioner Notary Public GEO. T. PRATHER The Oldest Insurance and Real Estate Agent in town Insurance Loans Abstracting Hood River, Oregon iH4j . Krt varaosa If EXPERIENCE TRADE MARKS) OtSIONe Copvriomts Ao. Artrn. aendlnR a akrtrh and noTitptton mmf qulcki? aaoertntii our oittiuin fre wntbr aii tlonaatrlctlvconadAntlal. llandbtiokon Patauui ant fro. llnat niivni'r for sercrtnaT patani.. Patent takon thruuuh Muun k Co. raoelT inT.nnnn la pnnnnif pitirmanie. t ommuntoa. tptctat hocim. wttnuut charira. In toe Scientific American A handaom.lT UlaMnitM weeklr. Ijirmat rtr. Terma. as a eolation of any aolentltlc Journal, Tear ; four montua, 1. Huld tj all nawadealars, MUNN & Co 6,Bro-- New York S. J. FRANK HARNESS AND SADDLES WATER-PROOF Horse Blankets and Robes Tents and Wagon Covers All repairing promptly at tended to. Oregon SltO!rlilNB amd Union Pacific 3 Trains to the East Daily Through Pullman atandania and tourlat leeplng cars dally In Omaha. Chicago, Hpo kaue: tourlut aloeiilnir enra riullv u Vaaiu City; throiih 1'ullniHn tonrlht gleepinK car (pernonsally cotidurtPd) wwkly to Chicago. Reclining ohalr cara (HentB free) to the Ktml uaiiijr. Union DciKit- Leave. Arrive. Chlcairo.PortlHnd fincclal for the Kant via Huntington, dally 9:80 am 7:80 pm nimauuv riycr tor i.Mtern WaHhitigton, Walla Walla, lwllon,Cocur d'AliMiPiind Ureal Northern point", daily 7:00 pm 8:00 am AtlantioExpreKa fortheKast via Huntington, daily 8:15 pm 9:90am roniMuu-niKicH tucai, lor nil pointa between Biggs and Portland, dally 8:15 am 5:15 pm RIVER SCHEDULE FOR ASTORIA and 8:U0 P. Mi way point, connecting; Dally with Bteamer for 1 1 aco except and North Heach steam-l Hundav. 5:00 P. M Dally exnept Hnaday. er Hawialo, Ash street Haturday, dock (water per.) 10:00 r. M. 7:00 A. M, Dally except 8 uncliiy. 7:30 P. M, City and Yamhill Riv er points. Aah streotl dock (water per.) Dally except Sunday. FOR LKWISTON,B:40 A. M 4:00 P. M Idaho, and way pnlntu, from ltiparia, WaxU. Dally Dally except Friday except Haturday OFFICE HOURS Freight House 8 a. m. to 12 noon; 1 to 5 p. m. No freight received or delivered after t p. m. Passenger Depot Hours for delivery of ex press and baggage will be 8 a. m. till 6 p. m. WM. McMURRAY, General Passenger Agent, Portland, Or. H. W. BOYLK, Agent, Hood River. 0. R. & N. TIME TABLE. Bast bound No. 2, Chicago 8neclal, 11:43 a. m. No. 4, Hpokaue t 'lyer, 9:40 p. m. No. S, Mall and Express, 10:42 p. m. No. 8,10:48 a. in. No mall. No. 24, Way Freight, 12:15 p. m. No. 22. Fast Freight, 4:05 a. m. West bound-. No. 1, Portland Special, 4:55 p. m. No. 8, Portland Flyer, 6:2 a. in. No. 5, Mail and Express, 6:30 a. in. No. 7, 3:15 p. ni. No mail. No. 23, "Way Freight, t:25 a. m. No. 55, Fast Freight, 1:05 p. m. Have in their New Harness shop a large line of Whips, Tents, Axle Grease and Harness Oil We would like for you to come and ex amine our hiirncHs repair work which is quickly attended to. BON TON ...Barber Parlors... The place to get an easy shave and hrst-ciass hair cut Our shop is metropolitan in every respect. Porcelain Baths in Connection GRAY & RUSSELL, Props. LIPPINCOTT'S MONTHLY MAGAZINE A Family Library Tha Best in Current Literature 12 Compute Novels Yearly MANY SHORT STORIES AND PAPERS ON TIMELY TOPICS $2.60 PER YEAR; 25CTS.ACOFY )NO CONTINUED STORIES EVERY NUMBER COMPLETE IN ITSELT aaJ VF I rwm A. u m VHo iiro & Mo We have just received a Fresh Supply oTy 0 II 0 0 0 II Nitrate Muriate AND ALL KINDS COMETOUS W00D-FIBERED CEMENT AND LIME f AS WE ITNTun mnrnr pnnr ttip. nips U . ' avAiijuvi. M. A. a- 1. A 11 Mm Val XKJ STRANAHAN & CLARK Hood River, Oregon ocz .Roller Skating Rink. AT THE ABlOET Monday Night, Wednesday Night Saturday afternoon and Evening STRICT 0RDE PRRESERVED Admission, 10c Skating, 25c G W. GRAHAM. Prop. New Location. We are now located in the Smith Building, in the room formerly occupied by J. E. Rand, where we will be pleased to see all of our old customers as'well as new ones. " ""This large and well-lighted store has been fitted up wltL the best and most complete stock of Staple and Fancy Groceries, Flour and Feed ever displayed in the City. Fresh Vegetables received daily. Call and inspect our stock. SPOT CASH GROCERY WOOD & SMITH HOOD RIVER TRANSFER Si LIVERY CO. iTICLET OFFICE FOR THE REGULATOR LINE OF STEAMERS. Hauling, Draying, Baggage Transferred, First Class Livery Turnouts Always Ready. Phone 131. .Mount Hood Store. W. S. GRIBBLE, Proprietor. Dry Goods Ammunition Boots and Shoes Hardware flay Grain ' Flour f: e. STRANG THE ODELL DEALERS IN ... Apple Trees All standard varieties crown from selected scions of the best bearing orchards in Hood River Jvalley. Guaranteed true to name and free from disease. Hunts Paint & Wall Paper Company Have added a complete'line ES and BRUSHES. HEATH & MILLIGANllMIXEDllPAINTS. Our stock of paper includesilatest.designs in4Blanks, Gilts and high Urades, U'rom iuc up. a iuii si-ock oi room molding, Picture rail, Plate rail and a small line of novelties in Framed Pictures. CALCIMO, the3 latest thing in room tinting, mixed to order. Painting, Paper hanging, Sign work etc. Phone 671. First and Oak Streets. Job Printing at of Soda, of Potash II 0 OF FERTILIZERS DIRECT FOR HOUSE PLASTER 0 0 r BROS., Proprietors. Graniteware Feed Full line of Groceries J. W. WILSON NURSERIES of FAINTS, OILS. VARNISH- the Glacier Office bjr the cartload. Wltwa we ia ien