HOOD RIVEE GLACIER THURSDAY APRIL 4, 1007
A Pallreaamai'a Mlratrcr.
Wben Captain W. C Weber was a
patrolman a clothing store upon hla
beat was roblteu oue night. Tbe thief
had taken off his owu old clothes and
left them In tbe store. lie bad put on
new suit and worn it away. The old
salt was that of a boy about fifteen
years old.
Weber gathered up the clothes and
took them to tbe old fire patrol house
at Seventh arenue and Wyamljtte
street lie put them uion the door
and, turning the hose on them, dre.ich
ed tbein with water. Then he went
down to the Junction, where at that
time the newsboys conreutfd
great numbers. He gathered a dozen
of them around hi in.
"Boys," be said, "the police found
some clothes down on tbe river bank
this morning. It looks like a loy had
been drowned. I want all of you to
come up to tbe fire station and look at
the clothes, Maybe you can tell me who
they belonged to."
No sooner bad the "newsies" Bath
ered around the pile of water soaked
clothes than one little follow spake up
"Them's Nifty Smith's. I seen him
wearln' them red galluses, au' be sew
ed that patch on the knee there bis
self."
Other boys corroborated this story.
In less than an hour the oflicer bad
corralled Nifty and made him confess
to tbe robbery. Kansas City Star.
PoUoard With Food.
If one were to say thnt thousands of
people regularly nnd nlniost system'
atlcally poison themselves with food,
It would strike tbe average layman as
extravagant The opinion of tlie lay
man, however, cuts no figure when
compared with the scientific deductions
of one who bos carefully observed the
facts. How many people nre there
Who select their food with care, eat It
at the right time and In the proper
way to secure good digestion and sub
sequent absorption of Just the physl
ologlcally correct amount of nutriment
required to repair the waste Incurred
by the duties of everyday life? There
are Very few. Borne starve themselves.
but tbe great majority go to the other
extreme and constantly overeat One
eats too much at regular mealtimes,
while another eats less, but feeds more
frequently. In either case the dlges
tlve apparatus Is ovcrtaxed.-A Thy
Iclan In New Tork World.
A Itobast Cihoat.
John Leech and a member of the
Mlllals family once stayed a night at
Cowdray ball, In England, where, many
guests being present, the two friends
bad no alternative but to accept rooms
In an Isolated wing supposed to be
haunted. In the middle of tbe night
Minnis awoke, Dciieving that some
giant was shaking blm violently by the
shoulder. This was supposed to be
tho favorite device of the ghost He
rushed Into a corridor and found Leech
sitting there trembling and declaring4
that be would not for the world go
back to hla room. They spent the re
mainder of the night In tbe corridor,
but In the morning said nothing of
their experiences. In tho afternoon
there arrived an evening paper telling
of a violent earthminke In the locality.
The earthquake was what the two vis
itors believed to be their ghost.
Valuable Pebble.
Between the northern point of Long
Island and Watch Hill lies a row of
little Islands, two of which, Dura Is
lana ana uoose island, possess a pe
culiar form of mineral wealth. It con
cists In heaps of richly colored quarts
pebbles, showing red, yellow, purple
ai.d other hues, which are iocally called
agates. Tbcy are used In nioklng stain
ed glass windows, and there Is a suffi
cient demand for them In New York
to keep the owners of one or two sloops
employed In gathering them from the
beaches, where the waves continually
roll and polish them, bringing out the
beauty of their colors.
El Dorado.
The modern meaning of 101 Dorado
may be traced as follows: One of ri
surro's men said that he had discov
ered a land of boundless wealth be
tween the Orinoco and the Amazon.
This country was named CI Dorado,
and many adventurers, among them
Blr Walter Raleigh, endeavored to find
It; hence tbe name has come to mean
a golden country of the mlud, a fabu
lous land of fabulous wealth, much as
Cockaigne, a fancied land of luxury
and Idleness. New York American.
Ilapplneaa and Hunger.
"My Idea of perfect happiness," said
the seedy philosopher as lie nmdo his
fourth round trip to the freo lunch
counter, "Is to be In a position to go
Into the awellest restaurant, put my
band over the price list of the menu
and order what my taste dictates, Irre
spective of the demurs of a diminished
wad."
A Correction,
Bertie Father, what Is an egotist t
Father He Is a man who thinks he is
smarter than any oue else. Mother
My dear, you are scarcely right. The
egotist Is the man who says that he Is
smarter than any one else. All men
think they arel
Appropriate,
Young Widow (at the animal seller's)
I want a dog. Animal Seller Yes,
madam; white, gray or brindled?
Young Widow No. Black-nil black.
1 am In deep mourning. Nos Lolslrs.
Has Cootlonoia Life.
Venus And what do you do whea
not engaged In archery? Cupid Oh,
I'm kept busy rhyming with stupid I
Puck.
ne Is a fool who cannot be angry,
bet he it a wise man who will not
Seneca.
Three Wlrea.
The Beggar-riease, sir, will you
kindly assist a poor man who haa
three wives to support? The redea
trlan Why, do you mean to say you
are a bigamist? The Beggar-Oh, no,
air. Two of them are the wives of
my sons-ln-Iaw.
. Delaya Are Danseroaa.
"But this Is so sudden! You bad bet
ter give me a week to think It over!"
"Very well. dear. And, perhaps, it
would be as well If I thought it over
myself at the same timer-Sketching
Pits. . , .
A Ph3anthropist
J ISC SMITH lined to ait on a Hah kit
an' paaael out mllllona a day.
He'd tell what he'd do with hia
money ef things waa a-comin' hla
way.
He'd clva a fine park to th' city an' bjlld
ua a fine city hall
An" dredse out th' crick over jr under till
nobody 'd know It at all;
He'd alt ua a lot of gondolas regardleas
of any expenae
An' make It a regular Venice, her via.
itln' ladles an' senU
Would come fr'm all over to ace It. with
everything free aa th' air.
With lemonade plenty a water an' banda
that would play everywhere.
An alwua when Jim waa a-talkln' Hamp
Hawkins, th tinner, would aay
How them aa haa money they keep It,
an them as hain't give It awayl
Jim never was much on Carnegie an' said
ef he had It to spare
lie a buy ail th circuses goin' an open
em free everywhere.
He'd gtva every youngater a pony an' buy
very girl a wax doll.
An' ten dollar bills would be flyln' aa If
they waa nothln' at all!
He'd start up a place In each city where
Ice cream an' cake would he free
An' think nothln' more of a million tiw
we would think pennies would !
He'd give away farms to hla neighbors
an' show folks such wonderful slicM
They'd think that Jim Smith waa Aladilln
right out of "Arabian Nlghta!'
An' alwus when Jim waa a-spcndln
Homp Hawkins, th' tinner, would
aay
How tl.em as haa money they keep
an' them aa hnln't give It away!
An'
It,
after he'd apent ao much money there
wasn't a cent left to spend
He'd borry a pipe of tobacco fr'm ma or
ome other olil friend
An' sigh with a heart full of sorrow an1
say with big tears In hla eyes
Thet his wife orto hev a new wrapper.
but he couldn't borry th' price.
An then he'd complain of th' system on
which this old earth seemed to run
Where them as won t spend It has money
and them aa Is llb'ral haa none.
An wlah thet ha had a few millions, an
borry a quarter fr'm me
To pay to th' grocer for somethln' he hud
to take noma to his teal
when Jim waa a-dreamln'
Hawkins, th' tinner, would
An' alwus
t Hamp
say
How them as has money they keep It,
an' them as hnln't give It away!
J. W. Foley In Woman's Home Com
panlon.
"Will Man Travel Throoah the A let"
Yea, and Soon,
w
Mr. Ishmael Brown (of tbe Teak dig
trlct, reading on bis way to the station)
liny tnousand dollar prize for an
areoplane. Dear me, we shall soon bo
traveling through space! Sketch.
Missed Something?.
This Is tbe office of the telephone
company, lan't it?" said the caller.
"Yes, sir," answered the man behind
the railing. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, It's this way," rejoined the
other. "I'm a subscriber on a ten
party line and my telephone is out of
order. I .want"
'I see. We'll send a man out to look
at it right away. I hope It hasn't in
convenlenced you greatly."
"Oh, I don't mind the Inconvenience.
We don't use it more than about once
or twice a week, but my wife has got
so used to bearing It ring day and
night that it makes her nervous when
the darned thing gels out of whack."
Chicago Tribune.
Serloua Damage.
"I'm glad to see you didn't laugh at
that poor old man when he fell down,"
said the stranger.
That's my gran'pop," the little boy
howled. "Oh, boo, boo!"
"Don't cry, boy. There's nothing se
rious"
"Oh, wow I ne sat down on my
truln o' cars, an' I'll bet he's busted
em!" Catholic Standard and Times.
this
The Seaator'a Idea.
"Senator, what Is your Idea of
so called high finance?"
That," replied Senator Badger, "Is a
part of the business thnt I seldom talk
about, but I will say confidentially that
think It's all right We who serve
the people need the highest fluauce we
can get." Milwaukee SeutlueU
Anything For a, Chance.
Oreeulng I thought your doctor rec
ommended a change of climate for
you?
Browning So ho did, but as I
couldn't Arrange my affairs so 1 could
get away I chauged doctors. Chicago
News.
A Vacaum Inside t
Little Tom, who bad lust begun to
Inquire the "why and wherefore" of
tlilugs, amused bis father oue day by
asking If the ear muffs which he saw
the policeman wear were held In place
by suctlon.-LIpplncott's Magazine.
Dodsclaar th Question.
Mrs. Benham Do you love me as
much as you did when you first mar
rled me?
Benhnm You tulk as If I had mar
ried you more than once. Brooklyn
Life.
Maat Be Good.
riulsantin offered In payment of a
bill a gold piece which had a suspi
cious ring. "Here, you've given me
oue of those false cotna that the coun
terfeiters have Just been arrested for
making," said tho merchant "Impos
sible," answered Plnlsantin. "It is dat
ed 18C3. U it were false, surely It
would bave been found out before
thls."-Gaulols
Breaking la.
Mother Dear me, the baby has swal
lowed a piece of worsted. Father
That's nothing to the yarns she'll have
to swallow If she lives to grow np.
The Falthfal Little Gald.
Ofttlmes I bave seen a tall ship glide
by against tbe tide as if drawn by
some Invisible towllne with a hundred
strong arms pulling It Her sails bung
unfilled; her streamers were drooping;
she bsd neither side wheel nor stern
wheel. Still she moved on stately in
serene triumph, as If with her own
life. But I kuew that on tbe other side
of the ship, hidden beneath the great
bulk that swam so majestically, there
waa a little tolling steam tug with a j
heart of fire and arms of Iron that was :
hugging it close and dragging it brave-)
Iy on, and I knew that if the little;
steam tug untwined her arms and left 1
the tall ablp it would wallow aud roll
about and drift hither aud thither aud
go off with refluent tide, no man knows
whither. And so I bave known more
than one genius, high decked, full
freighted, wide sailed, gay pennoned,
that but for the bare tolling arms and
brave, warm-beating heart of the faith
ful little wife that nestled close to him
so that no wind or wave could part
them would soon have gone down
stream and been board of no more.
Oliver Wendell Holmes.
A Fatal Sleep.
Hugh Miller, the Scottish geologist
and writer, was oue of the most Illus
trious of sleepwalkers. Miller, who
bad been addicted to somnambulism in
bis youth, found his rest lewdness return
while he whs engaged upon his "Tes
timony of the Hocks." He used to
wake in the morning feeling, as he
said, as If he hud been abroad In the
night wind, dragged by some invisible
power and ridden by witches. On the
night of his death he slept ulone. In
the morning tliey found him stretched
dead on the floor with a bullet through
his breast He had written a uote to
his wife: "My brain burns. I must
have walked, and a fenrful dream rises
upon me. I cannot bear the horrible
thought My brain burns ns the rec
ollection grows." So Intense had leen
the poor fellow's anguish that to mnke
certain his end he had torn back shirt
and vest and placed the muzzlo of tho
pistol to his naked flesh. St James'
Oazette. .
The Fractured Leo;.
A visitor was going'through tho chil
dren's surgical ward of one of the city
hospitals wben he spied a little fellow
with bis legs In the air and his weight
resting on his head and shoulders, do
ing closer, he saw that the boy's feet
were fastened with r.tpes which passed
through a pulley above. At the other
ends of the ropes were weights. Just
heavy enough to hold the boy's legs in
the air without lilting lilin entirely off
the bed.
"What's nil that about?" asked the
visitor. "Doesn't It hurt him?"
"Not at all." answered the physician
who was accompanying. "He doesn't
look unhappy, does he? That's the
way we always ha mile fractures of
the leg with a child. Otherwise tho
youngsters squirm around so that they
work the splints loose. Only one of
this boy's le,?s is Injured, but they nre
both swung in the air for his greater
comfort." New York Tost.
Sorrows of a Humorist.
"Tills thing of being n humorist Is
about the saddest thing I know," sigh
ed Simeon Ford. "An ordinary person
can have bis moods and humors ns be
pleases, but I must always he on the
Job. I am constantly being iuvlted out,
not because I'm liked for myself alone
or because of tny manly beauty, but
because I am expected to entertain the
assemblage. The rest of the company
may bo ns dull as dishwater, but If 1
do not shnUe u t the gathering with ii
few Jokes the Invitcss glares at me nnd
really feels r,.Montfiil. I may be sun!;
In the slough of despond, but just n
soon as I take my scut all lean forward
and eye me e. ectantly. My bju. nev
er get a reputation for bi-ing funny. It
Is the most mournful thing on earth '
New York Press
For Sale
corner lot in
Oregon. Said
Hood
lot
18
One
River.
jOxKK) feet and contains a
store build inn-
louso, the same
roperty known as
man s irrocerv store.
larticulars enquire of
(5. W. 1'AHMAN,
ml 4-1 m Condon. Ore.
and dwelling
being the
CllM)-
, For
One Dollar will
fit you to eye glasses or spec
tacles. Perfect fit guaranteed.
Your eyes fitted at home. Write fr
free booklet describing oar method.
K ememher, the glasses we fit you
n. are worth 3.50 any where on
anli Our price, only $1.00,
OUK REPAIRING dfrwrtaMiit la auat
complete. Mainspring Sim Watcbcleaaed
$1.00. Send your work by retial.rsi
fi.M repain anr watcB.
Bail.
METZGER & CO.
Ill SIXTH BTM1T. POBTLUTD, on.
MAGAZINE
READERS
$1.50
a year
$0.50
a year
UNSCT HUMXMC
beautifully illuSrated, Mod stories
and iotsr sating articles about
Califecaia and all the far West.
TOWN AND COUNTRY JOURNAL
a Btaathly publicanoa containing
plain, eatily-undentood articles
a sSa heme, garden, (arm and
range of interest te every mem
ber si the family blled with
phoUfraphs and pictures.
MAD W A THOUSAND W0N0CRI
a hook of 75 psfss, containing
120 colored photographs of $0.75
picturesque spots in California '
"in9 Toui . . . $2.75
All three for $1.50
ADDRESS ALL ORDERS TO
SUNSET MAGAZINE
FLOOD BUILDING SAN FRANCISCO
Apples, Apples,
White Salmon, Wash.
We ran anil yuii hunt thnt is ei-.nt to
none iu quality for $'.'5.iMJ per n ro, that
lies within six in'I'-Hof White Salmon.
We Ifa.l the Norlhwwt in ti e pro
c I ne tic .ii .f ti in' (i rs wherries.
There is no country in tie world I hut
will i seel ut in Rowing a fine gnuli- (
'IltS
Our Newtown and Hpit.en'ur(fft s'
known the woil.l over.
No. 1. Five acres Vi miles from
t Whiie Salmon, in foot's Ailcli' i'.i,.
Four acres in cultivation, one sere t
grub yet, 2 acres Ktraw hemes. Th s
tract l well lorateil snil will make -
! eatitiful home. Trice f 1.250.
No. 2. Hiz acres l miles out, per
fectly level, 3t acres in cultivation. 2
acres in straw lu trii a, about 50 yom n
fruit trees, small tox house, a delight
ful view of the Columbia river, M'
rliMiil and IIo.nl River valley. Prie
U)0. No. 3. . Forty acres 2 miles from'
White Salmon,- 7 acres in cultivation,
-iiihII family iiicliaril, bearing, a iiuiu-i-
r of good .rinj.'H, can irrigate left
acies. This i- No. 1 strawberry and
Bi'ple land, n . y located, will make a
pleii(lid ind poultry ranch,
'llii is a dd buy for either
a home t an investment. Prire
11.5(H) j;.'g.' tw-nis. j
No. 9.cJi'uii( ui.tl ene-half acres
ptile from Urun, nice euiootli laud, all in
c iltivatwiH 2J apples, Newtown and
SpitzenUirps. 'C' cherries, Koial Ann
and Hinit. VI In- i the cheMet land
in the valfe , i in must be sold in 30
days. J'riee ff'.rs 0. Very easy terms.
No. 2x. "'110 acres si miles from
Wbi'e Salmon, lull acres idee smooth
land, 'JO seres under fence, 2r seres in
culii vaium, 2iio fruit trees, M Kpit.en
liers, f0 Yaciinas, 'M .lohnatliiins. all 4
years old, linhmv family orchard now,
bearing. Five acres timothy, li screw
clover, 1 1 acresiiHalfa, two (food springs,
can irrigate 10 m-res. Hani Mx-18, small '
house. This i N'i. 1 apple land and a
great bargain. I'rice $3,300 if sold soon. '
ESTES & GREGG,
Whitk Salmjon, Wash.
Oakdale Green House ;
I5ush nnd cliriihiiitt roses twotparaolil,
lioiieysucknls, -pansy plunls in bloom,
c imation, Sh.i Uuiaibies, niowh-illsand
Longfellow (I nixies, glailiola bulbs 50c
to 7ic Bjdizcn, no finer to lie bad,
and many 9 her hints.
VLKU IIKR &. Ki.KTCIIKR.
W 111 Ktsy la Hood Hirer
The teniedy that makes yon eat, sleep
and grow strong, called I'almo Tablets,
will be sold regularly by Williams'
''liainiM' t, . Hood River. These great
nerve and constitution builders cost only
50c r box, sit boxes. (2.90. tf
.s
Are You
If your liver is working
right you probably are
not. When the -liver is
overworked, as i. fre
quently the system be
comes vlrnrgetl. It is then
that sallow complexion,
bad taste in th mouth,
h adacbe . - dizzy spells, '
ci-iJiniio'i- languor, etc.
no rate 'h't the poison
ous, mallei which should
lie rairi-d off i slowly
taint in the blood. If not
remedied nt once this
midithlti will cause Be
rlins trouble.
CLARLE'S
' PIL CASCARA COMPOUND
provides just what is
needed to quicken the
liver into natural, healthy
action. If you take these
pills when needed all
danger of this slow poison
ing is avoided. Posi
. tive cure for constipation.
Price 25 cents
CLARKE
THE DRUGGIST
Stanley-Smith Lumber Co.
Wholesale and Retail
LUMBER
Lath, Shingles, Etc
Lumber Delivered to Any Part of the Valley
Square Deal Store
"Honest Goods and Sqaure
. . Deal for Every flan" . .
IS MY MOTTO
7. COFFEE
1 TEA SPICES
BAKING POWQfR
' ' EXTRACTS !
1 MUST RIGHT !
XLOSSET&DEVERS
!' PORTLAND, ORE. )
W00I FOR SALE.
I am prepared to furnish mill and el a!
wood, also other kinds of wood.
I have a new steam wood saw and an.
prepared to do saw ing Also do general
team work.
Ph-i
l-.'t.
FRED HOWE.
The Ideal tyeeder
Is what its name implies, a Genuine Weed Killer
and the nearest to perfection of any orchard
tool yet introduced in Hood River Valley. Try
one and be convinced. Satisfaction Guaran
teed or no sale.
Osborn Spring Peg-Tooth Harrows
Acme Harrows
Plows and Cultivators
Potato Diggers
Wagons, Hacks aud Buggies
Flour, Feed, and a Full line of Groceries at all Times
Car Load Stumping Powder just received
C. P. R.
Next loor to JMinire Brother",
Clothes Cleaned, Pressed and Repaired
All work done with Klertric
I run tiiul uimniiiietd
il5
Oregon Lumber Company
f WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
ii
OHDKRS FOR
i
Lumber, Lath, Shingles
Piling, Cedar Posts
f
: and Poles
KOLIC1TKI)
('MM
Isfiiriihsh Slab Wood $2.50 per cord, f o. b.
Hood lliver
City Omcijj Phone Main 51 Mux Okficb : Phone Dee Line
1
Yours for Business
Phone 741
D. M'DONALD
3rd and River Street.
Hood River, Ore
F. S. STANLEY, Pres.
E. L. SMITH, Vice-Prep."
K. O. BLAXCHAR, Cashier
V. C. HROCK, Asst. Cashier
The First National Bank
OF HOOD RIVER
Capital $50,000 Surplus $12,000
We offer you the facilities of a well managed and
well equipped bank. The interests of patrons receive
our careful attention.
Hotel Waucoma
A FIRST-CLASS HOUSE
Moderate Rates
Excellent Service
R. D. GOULD,
PLUMBING
Steam and Hot Water Heating
All jobbing promptly attended to.
RECEIVING DAILY
FRESH
Flour and feed
CELEBRATED
WHITE RIVER
AND
GOLDEN CROWN
BRANDS
A m'CKSSFUR BAKING
Farmer's Dinner'
25c
P. F. F0UTS, Prop. Hood River, Or
J. H GILL,
DEALER IN
nys (ill,).vs ths use of White River
:ml (mlilen Crown flour. Whether vnn
bake bread, ookes, pies, or any kind of
paxtry, you will fimi this flour a safe and
reliable standby. Try it once and you
will never use any other. ?
MADE FROM
SELECTED HARD WHEAT
STRANAHAN & CLARK
HOOD KIVKR, OREGON.
HARD WHEAT I
RK J
Staple and
Fancy Groceries
AND HARDWARE.
SOLE AGENTS Foil
Majestic & Mesaba Ranges
and Stiletto Cutlery.
HOOD RIVER HEIGHTS, - . OREGON
J. E. NICHOLS
UNDERTAKER AND FUNERAL DIRECTOR
LADY ASSISTANT
Prompt Service Day or Night
ORPERS FROM PIXY FII.l.KP KOU CUT FLOWERS
Office Phone 1513, Residence Phone 1511 HOOD RIVER. ORE,
r
ii