HOOD RIVER GLACIERTHURSDAY AUGUST 3, 1905. WOMEN AND BANKING ODD NOTIONS OF 80ME OF THE FAIR SEX ABOUT FINANCE. A Vetera Banker Exhibit a Carl. Llaa of Sample Caaea That Came lader Hla Obaertatloa la the Course of Baalaeaa. "Business women of course," said a etcrun bunker, "understand the rou tine of. bunking from the customer's side of It about as well as meu, but the queer Ideas the averuge woman got iu business has about a bank would make a totem pole laugh. "I lost an awful good account once because I couldn't convince a woman that a note put lu the bank for collec tion Is not money. She came in one day, made out a deposit slip and tried to deposit a note Just due. The teller told her that be would forward it for collection. That seemed to strike her as all right, and she kept on writing checks against her account. "She overdrew in a day or two and we sent her notice. She came down in a towering rage and asked me what my bank meant by insulting her. Over drawn? Ridiculous! Why, she had deposited $5,000 only a few days ago. Wliut had we done with that money? "I tried to explain to her that the 'deposit' she referred to was only a note sent out for collection; that it bad not been paid and might be returned unpaid. She flew Into a passion. What did she care about it? She had given It into the bank, and she meant to have the money on it. "What were banks for? I cautioned her against checking against the amount of the note until it had been paid, but she went away In a buff and kept right on making checks until we hud to stop her. We refused ber checks, marking them 'No funds,' and then she withdrew her account. It turned out to be a dandy afterward, but to this day, I understand, she can't see any difference between notes, checks, drafts and currency. "Strange as it may seem, the number of women honest, absolutely guileless women who write other persons' sig natures to checks is large. Only to day, for instance, the daughter of ono of our best customers came into the bank with a check for $500 made pay able to herself. "Her father's name was signed to it, and be had plenty of money In the bunk, but his daughter hud signed bis nnme herself. We explained to her that we couldn't pay out money on such an order or request. " 'But,' said she, 'we haven't a cent of money in the house. Tapa is on the train somewhere between here and New York, and I you don't suppose he'd hesitate to give us $500, do youV "That young woman did not and could not understand why she didn't have as much right to use her father's credit at the bank as she had to use it at the dry goods stores and the butcher shops. I wanted to tell her that she had really committed forgery, but I didn't. I advanced the money on my persouul account, and she went away a bit miffed and fancying that we were n fussy, unreasonable lot of money gatherers. "Things like that are always coming up In every bank. We had one depos itor, an inexperienced young widow. She had over $30,000 iu the bank. One day she came lu and wrote a check for the full balance, payable to herself. The teller stared and asked how she'd have It Any way would suit her, she suld, only she wauted the cash. "He sent word to me and begun to count out the money In $100 and $500 notes. After counting them over Bhe wrapped the whole sum up in a news paper and went out. We were all puz zled, and we were afraid she might be robbed, so I sent two of the clerks after her to see what she did with the money as well as to protect her. She walked through the crowded streets about six blocks to another bank and deposited the whole $30,000 to the cred it of a poor young lawyer to whom, we afterward learned, she was en gHged to be married. "I don't think he was then aware of her intention to transfer her money to his account or he would have advised her to get a certified or cashier's check Instead of lugging her fortune through the downtown streets of a city like this. "The woman depositor who can't un derstand why other persons' checks de posited by herself are deducted from her account when they are no good is a familiar character In nearly every bank. "When such a check comes back and they are asked to take It up they will look unutterable scorn at the teller or collector and say: 'I put it back? Well, I guess not. Why should I pay It? I didn't make It out. Mr. So-and-so gave It to me, and if it isn't good that's his lookout. Oo after him. The Idea! Surely you don't expect me to pay out my own good money for Mr. Bo-and- 80? "By drawing several diagrams, exert ing much patience and diplomacy, you may convince such a woman that she has to cover the bad checks she de posits, but very often she refuses or falls to be convinced. She will prob ably insist on realizing on every cent the teller give ber credit for In her hank book, and If she doesn't get It look out She'll take her account to sume other bank and resume her deter initiation to have "her rights.' Oh, the Inexperienced woman Is almost as an noylng and far more numerous than dishonest women, so far as banks are concerned."" Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. Workla the Clalaa. "That Englishman who Is visiting the Nuritchea claims to be a lord." "Yes. And the Nuritchea are working the claim for all it is worth."-Detro!t Tribune. Water and Light Notice All water and light bills must be paid at the company's office each month in advance, on or before the 10th day of the month. No collector will be sent out hereafter.In all cases where bills are not promptly paid when due, the ser vices will be discontinued until all arrearages are paid. HOOD RIVER ELECTRIC L. P. & W. C. By E. E. GOFF, Mgr. Best Spraying Material at the lowest prices at Clarke'sstor e. AMPUTATED Li MBS. tome People Burr Theaa eaa Keep Flower oa the Urave. "What becomes of the hundreds of legs and arms of unfortunate ampu tated at the Louisville hospitals annual ly.' was asked of the superintendent of one of the large Louisville hospitals. "Whatever the owners want done with thain. "If you had to lose your right arm what would you want don with ltf asked the superintendent, glancing ca ter cornered over his spectacles with a quizzical air. "When I die, which I bop won't be soon, I want my body to be decently buried, and I thluk I wouldn't feel right If my arm wasn't there too. Be sides, I want It handy on judgment day." "Exactly so," said the superintend ent, "and there are a great many like you. They exhibit the greatest affec tion for the doomed member and (It minute orders as to how It shall be disposed of. "I have known people who bad their limbs embalmed and placed In little lead coffins and stored away In a vault, so that when they died the limb could be burled with them. "I knew of one man who had his leg burled in the yard where he could look out of his window and see Its grave. He would each day place a bunch of flowers ou the mound and stay by It for hours." "I was asking for facta," said the re porter. "You are getting them," replied the superintendent. "I could enumerate a number of instances where limbs were buried In the grave with their former owners. "I think that the sentiment la a beau tiful and righteous one," said a mem ber of the group, "and one that 1 should adopt if such bad fortune over took me." "I have also kuowu people," resumed the superintendent "who displayed the utmost indifference as to the ultimate fate of their amputated members. No thought of their limbs seems to enter their beads. They go under the knife without asking any questions and come from under the influence of the ether and so far as I know go through life without Inquiring what became of their legs or arms. "These people come from the lower classes, who have no fine sensibilities or sentiments. It's generally the cul tured and refined man who gives or ders as to the disposition of a lost member." "Well, what do you do with the limbs of these don't care people?" asked the reporter, whose curiosity seemed never to be appeased. "Burn them generally. That's the most sanitary and least troublesome way." Louisville Herald. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. So many of us have another guess coming. If things were only as good a th samples. Town people should do less quarrel ing, and country people should use bet ter seed corn. A man who has all he know at his tongue's command Is a prodigy or he doesn't know much. Men are alway trying to kill two birds with one stone. They will do pretty well If they get one. Girls prefer evening parties which the men can attend, but married worn en prefer afternoon parties which bar out all men. When a girl Is two her father Is pleased when she goes into bis pockets when he come borne night, when she Is ten he is Irritated, and when she is thirty he gets mad. Atchison Glob. The Wroaar Patleat. When you go to consult a distinguish ed physician whose time Is precious, it Is well to be clear and prompt in your statements, advises the Buffalo Com merclal, which adds: "A young woman who was slow and confused In explain ing her wants In the anteroom of a busy Buffalo physician one day 'was hurried Into an Inner office, placed In a chair and had her stomach pumped out with the neatness and dispatch that come with dally practice. While soma prescription was being written th as tonished young woman found her voice and managed to make It known that It was her sister whose symptoms she had tried to describe." A Yew CoatlnsTeaelea. "You have to take a few chance if you play the races." "Yes," answered young Mrs. Torklns, "so Charley tells me. If you pick the best horse, and he happen to be fit and the jockey understands his busi ness and hasn't been tampered with, and you manage to get through th crowd and persuade the bookmaker to take your money, and the sheet writer remembers the number of your badge, and you don't get your pocket picked. you may come out ahead." Washing ton Star. The Vary Latest. Ferdy Fuzztop Now I want you to make me a very fashionable coat you know one of th very latest and most ultra stylish you can build. Ferdy's Tailor Yes, sir. Would you like It too long or too short? Cleve land Leader. Aa laaalt. Tragedian I tell you, an actor' life Is dangerous. We travel so much, and there are so many wreck. Friend But Isn't It always easy to (top off th track wben you see trouble coming? Boston Post. The biggest crab baa been caught In the North sea. It measured two feet seven Inches across and had claw to correspond. Take Notice. Owing to the numerous reports of nuisances around the Liiilit and Water Co s springs haviog been circulated during the present water agitation, a watchman has been employed to guard the property ; a tight fence 9 feet high has Ven built, and the public is hereby notified that any attempt at trespass ing on the property of the company in the vicinity oi the springs will be pros ecuted without any discrimination. (Signed) Hood River Electric Light ater and rower Co. Do Yoa Suffer with Dyspepsia or indigestion? Clarke's Dyspepsia Tablets will cure you. I'nce only ooc ODD INDUSTRIES OF PAR 18. There Are lht Hawks ( Maar T liar Vartetlea. The rtmaweur da nult la the hum blest member of the ragpickers' corpo ration. He la generally a laborer out of work and collects whatever he can And and Judge salable from a scrap of paper or an orange peel to a dilapi dated stove. Take ohj books, for ex ample. However bad, they have a market vain, for they always contain tn the instep one sound piece that can serve again and generally two or three more at the heel and the back. Old provision Una, again, are full of money; the lead soldering can be removed and melted Into cakes, while the tin goes to make children's toys. There are about 6,000 of this class of night bird In rails. Another quaint night bird Is the "guardian angel." The "guard Ian angel" la a person attached to the establishments of some niastraquets low barkeepers and certain public houses for the purpose of looking after the safety of drunken customers. lie accompanies them to their homes, de fends them In case of need, as often as not baa to put them to bed and leaves them only when they are with out the reach of mischief. He earns about 00 cents a day. Cases are also on record where grateful drunkards have remembered the "angel" In their wllls. To return the complimeut the "angel" has Invested some of his funds in the purchase of a barrow, the object of which la but too obvious. An Important night bird la the mem ber of the guild des pattes mouillees. He deals in tobacco manufactured from stumps of cigars and cigarettes picked up In the street and holds as sizes on the Place Maubert, by the statu of Etlenne Dolet, twice a week at 3 a. m. On these days the square Is called th "market of wet paws." The Industry Is quite remunerative on a modest scale, oi course, nuu would be even more so were It not for the government which stepped in with haracterlstlc. greed and on the ground of the monopoly It holds pro ceeded to tax the tobacco collected with so much painstaking care. YOUR WORK. Do It cheerfully, even If It la not con genial. Do It la th spirit of an artist, not an artisan. Make It a stepping stone to some thing higher. Keep yourself In condition to do it as well aa It can be done. Endeavor to do It better than It has ever beeu done before. Make perfection your aim and be sat isfied with nothing less. Do not try to do It with a part of yourself the weaker part Recognise that work la the thing that dlgnlflea and ennobles life. Regard yourself aa a coworker with the Creator of the universe. Accept th disagreeable part of it as cheerfully aa the agreeable. Choose, If possible, the vocation for which natur haa fitted you. Believe tn It worth and dignity, no matter bow Bumble It may be. Remember that work well done I th highest testimonial of character you can recelve.-uccesj Magazine. Ft rat Jewelry Itere. It may Interest woman to know that the first jewelry store was started in the city of Chang On about 3,000 years ago. The celestial millionaires or wai period knew nothing of the fascination of diamonds, because diamonds were not In vogue at that B. C. period. Pearls and jade and coral and other unpolished mineral substances had to content them, and, aa If to make good the glitter of revlere and tiaras, the princes of Chang On employed ar tlsana to fashion them the most won derful gold and silver ornaments, which In themselves were far more costly than diamonds. Boston Herald, Order. Ill chair lady rapped sharply. "It should not be necessary for the chair to remind members," she said severely, "that under our rules of or der, to say nothing of common cour tesy, only one member may be silent at a Mm. Any member who becomes si lent at th same time that another member la silent Is distinctly out of order." The ladle of the club visibly cringed under this merited rebuke. Many of them flushed to the roots of their hair, and several there were who burst Into tear. Life. Deee Kleees Caaoea Taater. The danger of kissing dogs Is illus trated by th experience of a young lady which I told In the London Lan cet Bha had been In the habit of fon dling and kissing a pet dog, and when ah developed a tumorous growth It was discovered that ber trouble was due to the presence of a number of worm vhlch bad been transferred from th dog to th tissues of ber cheek. Wir Lamsfc4. "Oh, George, dear, I'm so glad yoo'vs coma home! Wa'vt had burglars In tha flat, and they took all our silver and beat the Janitor dreadfully! What are yoa laughing at?" Tm laughing because they beat the anltor."-C!ereland Plain Dealer. Wall Karaa-a. Stlnjsy See here, when are you go ing to pay me back that dollar you bor rowed? Borroughs Why, man a lire, I earned that dollar. 1 had to work with yoa for a coople of hoors before I got it oat of yoa. Philadelphia Ledger. Despondency Is the most unprofit able feeling a tnaa can Indulge la. Talmage. Atttention, Campers. Nearly new brown tents lor sale. Tel ephone Country Club Inn. Notice. Notice ! hereby siren that the Board of Lnreciora oi nrnooi uiainci no. b ornttwo county, Stale of Oregon, will Iwua tUda in lnterent-bearlns warrant, bearing- Interest at the rate of six per cent per annum, and re deemable aa follows: One-third of aaid mount doe In two yean from the Issuance of aald warrants, one-thud in four year and one-third In ail Xeara. Parties dealring to aubaerlbe lor the aaine will communicate with the clerk of aaid district on or before August izin, Ht order of the Board tblwslst day of July. 1M. U. V. OliKI.L, Clerk Hchool District No. 5, Wasco Co., Ore, Fancv creamery butter at Mi-Guire Bros. Hatelwood and Wa? hougal i I brands. Mrs. M. A. Jones is spending a few weeks with the McCoys at White Sal man. riarke'a Cough Elixir will cure that cough Trice is only 25 Berry Growers. We want to handle your strawber ries and other produce, for we are in position to get vou the best prices. Write us. A. I). BLOWERS & CO., teattle. Vt ash. The Real Estate, Insurance, Loan and Collection Bureau Edwin A. Henderson, Manager. Notary Public FOR SALE-FARM LANDS Five acres, 5 room house, two miles west of town, 12o0.00; part cash. 100 acres, unimproved, fill. 00 per acre. 64 acres, 3 miles out, 2 houses, fruit trees, berries and hay, $1050. 64 acres, 5 room house, clover, alfal fa, 150 apple trees, $1350; terms. 10 acres near Parkerton, loiiu-ed off, $275 cash. 30 acres fine orchard, irrigutiiiK water, $500.00 per acre; terms. 30 acres Spitzenbergs and Newtowns, $250 per acre ; terms. 15 acres, 12 acres cultivated, 3 acres old family orchard, 3 acres Newtowns ami Spitzenberga, all kinds of small fruit, all in liny, o room House, stone milk houso, $2.50 per acre; terms. 10 acres unimproved, across road from above, $200 per acre. 10 acres, 2 miles from town, house, 300 Newtowns and Spitzenls-rgs, 2 acres otatoes, 75 cherry trees, ( acres clover, larn. chicken house, fine well, li inches irrigation water, $3000; $15m cash. Wanted, property on Stale road. FOR SALE-CITY PROPERTY lt 50 by 130, 2 story 8 room house, $1200. 2 lots, west end town, 5 room house, $850; below hill. 2 lots. (1 room house, plastered, stone foundation, on hill, 120(). Iit 100 feet square, house, 3 rooms, $000 on time ; $550 cash. 3 lots 50 by HO, v room House, ceiled, basement, $2000; two-thirds cash. licautifiil lots in Coe's addition, 25 per cent down, $5 per month at 8 per cent interest. 3 lots on hill 50 by 90, on hill; $100 cash. 2 lots, 0 room house, ceiled, piped with water, free water, $!S(Kl; $000 cash. 3 lots, west end town, $1000; one-half cash, balance 8 per cent. Lots in Coe's addition, on the install ment plan. 2 lots, on lnow of hill above postollice, $450. 8 room house, plastered, 4 lots, all in fruit trees, bearing, $2300; terms. Two lots and 0 room house, $000; will sell house and lot for $750. Lot and one-half, 5 room house, barn, outhouses, $850; cash. Sightly lots in Coe's addition. Sole agent. House and lot in Cue's addition, $850; cash. Iits at $300 each in Hull's addition. Kine lot ill Uarrett Sipina, $350. lA)t80hy 100, fenced, 0 room house, barn and woodshed, below hill, near school house, $1200. Two lots, 50 hv UX), in front of school on hill, $000. Lot and house one-half block east of post otlice, $850; 30 days. Lots in Coe's addition, on the install ment plan. Houses to rent. EDWIN A. HENDERSON Milliliter. AXNOl.'XCKMKXT I am prepared to furnish water for domestic purposes at 50c per month; bath and toilet, 25c each ; irrigation, $1 per lot. KmviN A. Hendkuson, Agent for II. C. Coc. Hardware Stewart's Furniture Seasonable Goods N P Strawberry hullres... 100 , . " Cum) stools 250 1 Tents, up from $4.75 Cam) stoves $1.00 Hammocks 750 Wagon covers, pillows. i- iv 4ii, Folding cunip tables. " 1 Fishing tackle, Guns, revolvers, ammunition In more than doubling our store capacity our whole intention is to be able to purchase all of our goods in the quantities that secures lowest possible cost and to be able to handle sm h stock with the greatest economy. It will hereafter be impossible to leaye home for purchases on account of prices or assortment in Hardware, Glassware, and the thousands of articles which go to the needs and comforts of a home. We furnish everything for build- ing a home. : Stoves SteWarfS Crockery There may be some clothing: as good as ours, but not at the price Weiss & Segal explains it all Full line of these goods FOR BOYS AND YOUTHS just received, the kind that wears. Call now while there is a large assortment to select from. Owing to the increasing volume of our trade, we have taken advantage of early shipments to accommodate the buying public VOGT BROS., Ufie CLOTHIERS u "Money Afler .Inly 'list we will he on ii cash basis. We fee that in justice to our selves, as well as to you, our cash customers, we must take this course, and now if you want goods as cheap in price as any one en-n sell for cash, we invite you to come. We are grateful to you, our time customers, for your support in the past , hut we are confident that we can show you it is to your interest to buy for cash, for pay day soon rolls around even on a t ime sale. Your dollar will buy one dollar's worth, and we will show you we appre ciate it Prices greatly reduced. Remember we are the leaders in reducing prices. FU Building; Building Materials i""i' wood fibre plaster, per ton $16.00 '. .. . ,, , bellow fir lath green moo 2.65 .Mouldings, inside furnishings 'Columns, porcn goods. D""" windows. Lime and cement. , . Pure prepared paint pergallon 1.75 Class in every style. Fu r n i tu re, Crockery, Stoves, Tinware, Makes the BARTMESS' FURNITURE NITURE Material, Paints, etc. so i Williams' Fine line of Drugs, Toilet etc. Also Spray Material G. E. WILLIAMS, Pro. Bring iu your Proscriptions. The IDEAL FROHN & HEATON, Proprietors. Fresh and Salt Meats, Groceries, Free Delivery Flour and F G d. Phone 150. Can get a First-Class 250 MEAL at the HOTEL WAUCOMA P. F. FOUTS, Prop. HOOD RIVER, OREGON. cri Mare Go." 8 STORE Carpets, Pharmacy Articles, MAEKET n