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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (May 26, 1904)
A DOCTOR'S MISSION
In bis unusually pleasant office on
Broadway int Lemuel Gray, I middle
aged maa and ruccessful lawyer, In deep
thought. In his band he held letter,
which, after a few momenta, be again
carefully read. As it referi to people
and event to be mentioned often in the
remarkable story about to be related, we
fire the contenti entire:
l'onkers, April 15, 18.
Mr. Lemuel Gray:
Dear Sir It la with great difficulty
that I pen the following, being very ill,
but the object I bare in view by thua
addreasing you ia of great Importance, I
will write In aa few worda aa possible.
Yon are aware, being my confidential
advifer, that I expected to aail for Eu
'lone ahortly. 111 order to attempt to un
ravel the mystery aurrounding tlie death
of Bir Arthur Glendennlng, In whose fate
I am so deeply Interested.
I wished to visit, in some disguise, the
town where Glendennlng Hall is situat
ed, to become acquainted with the pres
ent baronet and Lady Constance, bis
wife, with the nephew and niece resid
ing with them, and to learn something,
If possible, about the only sister who
married without the consent of her fam
ily, and who, therefore, was disowned by
her relatives a well as a young girl
Whom It was said they had adopted.
I desired, also, to make Inquiries In
regard to the private character of An-
totne Duval, the valet of the present Sir
Keginaid Ulendenning, and to study ev
rything that might bear upon the mys
tery of the ease.
I regret to say that my physician de
clares it lmpofHiule for me to undertake.
with safety, this journey. What do you
thing of my sending thither a substitute?
I have In mind a young ulivsician. Dr.
Earle Elfensteln, who resides In your
city, I write to ask you to hunt blm up
for me. I'lease make a few Inquiries
as to bis circumstances, disposition and
above all, whether be Is an energetio and
Inform ma In regard to these matters
at an early date. If favorable, set a
time when you can meet blm at mv real
dence and explain to him the peculiar
i Union I wish blm to undertake In my
oenau. rour presence will be absolutely
accessary, as the disease with which I
am afflicted forbids my entering Into the
long explanations that must ba given, In
order to lut-truct blm In the performance
ei me work. -
To this, a few hours later, the follow
if reply waa penned:
N. Y., April 16, 18
Mr. Leon Itappelye:
Dear Bir Upon the receipt of youra
of the 16th, I examined the city directory
without delay. 1 find Dr. Elfenstein'a ad
dress to ba 47 Exton street.
Going at once to the neighborhood, I
learned from a reliable source that the
young man has a very small practice,
therefore, finda It dilllcult to support bis
widowed mother and himself lu comfort.
This state of bis finances Is not due
to lack of energy, for he la Indefatigable
In hia efforts to benefit his patients, but
those who apply to Mm for advice are,
unfortunately, the very poor in the region
f hia borne,
He is an exceedingly conscientious and
good man, and from all I can learn, just
the one to undertake the Important busi
ness which you propose, and which I
1 will meet him at your residence, on
the evening of the 18th. It would be
well to send him a telegram to that ef
fect as soon as you receive this. Yours
It waa a dull and dreary picture that
the eyes of Dr. Earle Elfensteln rested
npon aa he drow back the lace curtains
that draped the parlor window of bis
His practice waa not linn ant .
from lucrative. Times were unusually
hard, and hia billa for aervlces rendered,
Soorly pitid, ao that be had, Indeed, a
ard rtruggle to live.
Thla afternoon be was peculiarly eaat
dowo, for his mother bad reminded him
that the month's rent for the But In
which they resided would be due In three
days, and he knew he bad not one quar
ter of the amount required.
It was no wonder, then, that a aleh
escaped him aa he turned to greet the
aweet looking lady about fifty years of
age, wno entered tne room, holding an
envelops in ner nana.
"Here la a telegram for you, Earl.
vvnat can it Del"
"I cannot say, as I expected none," he
replied, opening the missive. "This la
singular. I am requested to leave the
City by the o p. m. train for Yonkera,
io see a gentleman, wno la an Invalid,
n a matter of business. Ills name Is
lon Happelye, a strange name to me."
"What shall yon do about It" asked
the mother, anxiously.
"I shall go, of course. The message
aaya, 'you will be met at the atation.' I
have just about time to answer a call,
and meet the train." K
"What time shall you return?"
"It will be late, 1 know, perhaps not
until morning. Good by, little mother.
Who knows but this will bring better
things for us?"
Later, closely protected by a comfort
able ulster from the heavy rain that was
falling, with a train of serious thoughts
In bis mind, occasioned by his poverty,
Dr. Elfensteln wended his way to the
Grand Central Depot and entered the
cars that would bear him to his destina
tion. The rain was falling In torrents ae the
train came thundering- to the station at
Yonkers, and upon stopping, the usual
crowd hurried out, and pamtng through
the waiting room to the street beyond,
were soon lost in the gloom. The doc
tor had scarcely a moment to wait, when
a private coachman approached, whip In
hand, and accosted him.
"I have been sent to meet a gentle
man from New York darned Elfensteln.
Are you the one!"
"Then please follow me."
Tli young man waa soon seated in a
handlome close carriage. Street after
atreet was traversed, until finally they
turned Into the extensive grounds of an
As the young man stepped across the
plaxxa, the large doors were instantly
opened by a colored waiter, who motion
ed blm to enter and proceeded to assist
In removing bis overcoat and wet over
shoes. Crossing the marble floor of the long
hall, ha was ushered Into a room ele
gantly appointed. The bright grata Bra
tut a cheerful flow around, while the
BY EMILY THORNTON
Author of " Roy Rosttu't Rtn.K, "
"Th Fashionable Mothm," Etc.
velvet en met scarcely gave back a foot-
aflL The table was laid for one, and
very soon a sumptuous dinner waa tarr
ed, of which he alone partook.
Leaving the doctor to enjoy bit solitary
meal, we will precede aim to the atory
above, and to the presence of the Invalid,
whose urgent telegraphic dispatch bad
brought blm to the place.
The second story back room waa large
and commodious, opening into a room be
yond, where every luxury abounded, for
the comfort of the master,
"Has he come?"
These words issued from the pale llpt
of the sufferer, who waa half sitting, half
reclining upon the bed.
"Has Dr. Elfensteln comet I thought
I heard the carriage."
"You did, and he la here," returned the
nurse and housekeeper. "I thought it
best to have blm take dinner before you
aaw him. I presume you have much to
say and would preftr not to be interrupt
ed. He will be with you in a few mo
"Haa my lawyer come?"
"Not yet. But the door bell rings. I
think that la he."
"Set that rtand with writing materials
close by my bed, then go down and show
both gentlemen to tbla room; after wbtch,
you can leave ua to ourselves until you
hear mo ring."
Making herself known to the doctor,
tbo nurse introduced him to Mr. Gray,
then led the way to the sick man'a pret
ence. "Hera la Mr. Gray, Mr. Rappelye, and
thla la your expected friend, Dr. Elfen
steln." Reaching forth a thin, white hand, the
old man tmiled feebly, and between
struggling breaths managed to says
"I am very glad to tea you."
Taking the emaciated hand In both his,
Earle Elfensteln pressed It tenderly, and
In a low tone full of feeling responded:
"I am glad I could coma to you, but
aorry, very sorry to aea you so 111!"
- "You must wonder why I summoned
yon, an entire stranger, to my side in
thlt unceremonious way, but I have lm
portant business to transact Talking Is
such an exertion, my lawyer, Mr. Gray,
must explain for mo my wishes, and
why I sent for you."
These words were uttered at Intervals.
for bis short breathing prevented long
sentences, and gently releasing his hand
Elfensteln took the teat close beside the
bed, while Mr. Gray tested himself in a
business-like way beside the table.
"Dr. Elfensteln," said, Mr. Gray, "my
client and friend, Mr. Leon Rappelye,
la, as you aea, extremely 111. Our friend
is a lonely man, having uo relatives liv
ing to whom he wishes to leave hit large
fortune. Ha bat dictated bit last will
and testament, and aa ha desires to sign
It before ha may ba unable to do ao, it
waa necessary for blm to aea you per
sonally, previous to placing bla name to
the document, In which, I may add, you
are deeply Interested."
Earle Elfensteln started as he heard
theo words, and looked from the lawyer
to the invalid beside him.
You are surprised, naturally." again
reaumed Mr. Gray, "and probably won
der what Mr. Rappelye knows of you.
1 will explain this at once. Your father
was George Elfensteln, a well-known
banker; In years gone by ha did Mr.
Itappelye a never-to-be-forgotten service.
His arrival In this country waa follow
ed by a long and dangerous Illness, when
ha lay alone among strangers, almost
neglected, and be attended to bis wants
like a brother, until ba was entirely con
valescent. They met often afterward,
and then lost sight of each other. Years
of silence passed, when accidentally he
learned about turee months since that
hit benefactor waa dead, and his only
son was a atruggllng physician In New
York. He haa heard of your fearless.
conscientious manner of meeting your en
gagements, and this was a charactertatic
he particularly wished to find In some
young friend. " When, therefore, his
health entirely failed, be determined to
tend for you, and perhaps place hit af
fairs In your bands."
"Anything that I can do within the
range of honor and Integrity, I shall be
pleased to undertake," Earle answered.
"We felt so. The case then it this;
but, of course, you will recogniie the
fact that the hiatory of our friend's life,
which I shall be obliged to unfold to you,
it told in strict confidence. Will you
promise to regard that confidence as a
sacred trust, never to ba told to another,
until all that Is now mysterious has been
"Then I will proceed. Our friend waa
the youngest eon of Sir Geoffrey Glen
dennlng, residing In a large town near
Liverpool. This gentleman had one
daughter, who married against his
wishes, and three aonf. Arthur, who
would in ease of hia death succeed to
the title; Reginald, two yeara younger.
and Fitxroy, the gentleman you see be
fore you, whose severe domestic misfor
tunes have been ao great that for the last
tweuty-flva yeara he haa been obliged to
live in thla country, under the assumed
name of Rappelye." j
"A short time after the Death of hia
paretita, for they expired within a few
months of each other, and after hit
brother Arthur had come Into possession
of his title, little turmolls'arose between
the brothers, and seemed to embitter
Reginald, the second son, had an ngly,
morose disposition, that waa peculiarly
exasperating, and whenever the oppor
tunity occurred he delighted in getting
Kltzroy into disgrace with the young
"These yonng men had a very pretty
cousin, In whose society they each took
extreme pleasure. Her name waa Con
stance Leonora Glendennlng. It waa soon
dlscerered that the affections of the
young girl were centered upon Sir Ar
thur, and thla knowledge wat Immedi
ately followed by a betrothal.
"Reginald, being somewhat dissppolnt
ed that ho could not win the prise, un
dertook to report several little Interviews
of a purely Innocent and accidental na
ture that Fitxroy had with thla lady to
bis brother, easting a very sinister light
npon them, and assuring Arthur that
Fitxroy waa endeavoring to aupplant hint
ln her favor.
"This artful story Infuriated the young
nobleman, and caused a very bitter Inter
view. Fitaroy Indignantly denied every
thought ef Interferenes, declaring the
troth, that hia love for Coasts see waa
merely cousinly. Thla Sir Arthur refus
ed to believe, and rhey parted la anger,
Fitxroy afclaimftg ba a moment of un
guarded op tea Log aa ho left him!
" 'Very well, this m If tt salt you;
1 but, mark me, you shall yet repent yonr
unjust accusations, and, aa I live, shall
never repeat this Insult'
"Cloting the door aa ha tpoke, he step
ped into the hall and atood face to. face
with Antolne Duval, the valet of bis
brother Reginald, and from the conscious
j look he gave him, Fitxroy knew that he
I bad either purposely listened or sccl
I dentally heard the unfortunate remark.
"The brothers did not meet again that
day, but early the next Fitxroy waa
' awakened by an nnusual tumult. To his
horror be wat told that Sir Arthur had
disappeared during the night. Hit bed
bad been occupied aa usual, but ba had
probably been murdered, or very badly
wounded, at while no traces of bit body
could ho found, evidences of contest
were on every aide.
"Blood was upon the bed and floor,
the window seat waa covered with It aa
though he bad been dragged through Jt,
and then by means of a rope let dowa to
the ground below. From the grass to aa
ornamental lake not far distant were
Irregular patches of the tame human
gore. Beyond that, nothing waa ever
discovered! That lake waa thoronehlv
dragged for the body; the grave by the
tide of It wat searched, not a spot being
lerc in wnicn a corpse could be burled
to no effect
"But, while stupefied with grief over
bit brother's lots, our poor friend was
made aware that the finger of suspicion
pointed to him with singularly fatal evi
dences of guilt
A dagger with hia name ensraved
npon the handle waa found br the hut.
tide, on the floor, ita blade still wet with
blood. Ueneath tha window Beat, caught
upon a nail, waa a fragment of cloth
which, upon search being made, fitted
exactly Into a rent In a dressing- gown
of his, that waa found hanging in his
"AH he could conclude was that some
unknown enemy had struck the fatal
blow, and after stealing these articles
from hia private rooms, had left the
dagger purposely npon the floor, and re
turned the torn and bloody gown to tha
closet, In order to fasten suspicion npon
him, and thus shield themselves.
"To make a long story short, in dua
time tha trial took place, and Bir Regi
nald Glendennlng, who had succeeded to
tha title, testified to tha bitter feeling
that had existed between the brothers.
Ha also identified the dagger and dress
ing gown as belonging to tha prisoner.
Antolne Duval testified at fully to tha
threatening language uted to the de
ceased on the day prevlout to the mur
der by hit brother.
"The trial wat quite lengthy, but re
filled In hit acquittal and discharge
from cuttody. But although freed by
law, the popular opinion remained un
changed, and, unable to endure the cold,
averted looka of hia former frienda, he
left hia homo and embarked for America
under an assumed name.
"Arriving in New York, the ttraln of
grief that be bad undergone to told upon
hit nervous system that be was laid
upon a bed of severe Illness. Then it
was that your father aought him out and
nurred him so tenderly. After bis re
covery, he resolved to devote himself to
business, and thus forget hia troubles
(To ba continued,)
Why Mary Did Not Sine;.
An able but easily embarrassed and
somewhat absent-minded young teach
er waa about to begin a singing leg
son one day when a knock at the
school-room door interrupted proceed
ings. The teacher went to the door
and ushered In a delegation from a
prominent local woman's club. When
the ladlea were comfortably seated
and each had assumed a critical, lis
tening attitude, the teacher reaumed
the singing lesson. It waa one of ber
most stringent rules of action that
when company waa present every
thing ahould go on exactly aa usual.
One of ber pupils, Mary Holmes, a
somewhat shy girl, had a good alto
voice, and the teacher waa anxious
that aha 'should display it to advan
Now, Mary," she aald, encourag
ingly, "when I count four, you be
sure to sing. Attention, children!"
raising her baton. "One, two, three,
ready alng!" Tha children sang lust
ily, but Mary's alto voice waa missing.
"I didn't hear your voice that time,
Mary. Remember, when I count four
you are to slug. Next verse, children!
One, two" Mary watched the motion
of the teacher'a llpa anxiously, "threel
Ready slug!" The children's shrill
treble rang out unaided by Mary's
Don't you feel like singing, Mary?
Try this verse, now one, two, three.
Well, what is It?"
Mary had risen, and was shyly
twisting ber fingers. "Please, Miss
Brooks," she said, breathtlessly, "you
told me to sing when you counted
four and you only count just to three
every time!" Youth's Companion.
Pirates In tha Gulf Htrnam.
Captain Luigl Montanl of the steam
ship Snrdcgna.whlch haa Just arrived
at Naples from the United States with
a large number of emigrants on board,
recounts an extraordinary story of ad
venture. Shortly after entering the
gulf stream, near the Mexican gulf,
a auspicious-looking brlgantlue hove in
alght from which piercing criea were
beard proceeding. Captain Montanl
Immediately gave orders for pursuit
and a .threat of sinking tha vessel
brought her to a halt He then armed
hia crew, boarded the strange craft
and began to search the vessel.
It proved to be a private ship.
Twenty-five pirates, who sought to
slink away In small boats, were suf-
rounded by an overwhelming force
and captured. They were all Carib
bean negroes or Creoles, reports the
London Chronicle. Two beautiful
girls were discovered bound to the
timbers of the ship, with their mouths
gagged, and on being freed they had
a heart-rending story of brutality to
tell. The brlgantlue had been selxed
by these pirates, who wounded the
original crew and the captain, whose
guest the girl were, and then threw
them overboard. The pirates there
upon ateered the vessel, which had a
large cargo of she goats, toward the
Antilles. Captain Montanl ends by say
ing that he transferred tha pirate to
the Sardogna, kept them In Irons and
made for Boston, where ha delivered
them over to the. American author!
ttles. Great Pumping Plant.
The greatest pumping plant In the
world la one which draws 6,000,000
gallona of water a day 38T miles to
the gold fields at Bulla Bulling, Aus
tralia. Sometime a man makes a fool of
hlmaelf because hia wife lets hia
bar his own wSy.
GREAT GOVERNMENT BUILDING AT THE
Copyright by Louisiana l'urchase
The United States Government Building at tbo St Louis
World's Fair is the largest exposition
by Uncle Sam. It Is 704 feet long and has a width of 250
feet It la distinguished among the other exhibition struc
tures by the durability of Its construction. Huge girders
of steel support the superstructure, leaving an, Interior abso
THE OLD, SWEET FIELDS, ,
Yonder, where the valley is -
Where the rivers rush,
"Welcome!" sings the mockln'blrd,
"Howdy!" pipes the thrush.
And to the host o' them we say,
"We've come to spend a holiday!"
Sure, that bird's sweet singing
Sounds familiar still;
Echoes from the hill I
That voice we heard it far away
Sweet calling to a child at play.
And there are wild, sweet Joys there,
Where barefoot fellows roam
Just as of old, the boys there
They drive the cattle home.
And some one near the battle-bars
Looks winsome 'neuth the twilight stars'
O loved, remembered placet!
I greet you once again;
Recalling In strange faces
Youth's passion and Ita pain!
But, more than all, Its joy that seems
An echo in an old man'a dreams!
NNICE WUEATLEY strolled to
the window and gazed idly out
Thla was strictly in accordance
with the instructions conveyed in the
little blue-covered book of typewriting,
"And I will explain it all to you.
(Gertrude walks to window R and
gnzea Idly out."
Considering that this was tha 217th
time she had done this, the view from
the window hud lost somewhat of its
She knew exactly what she would
see there. At her right would be a
huge electric calcium pouring Its green
rays upon her white dress. It had
been decided that green would be bet
ter than blue. The moon had been
green ever since the night when the
stage manager had arrived at thla de
cision. There were also a couple of stage
bracea holding up the scenery, and
sometimes a couple of stage bands 'n
tery dirty sleeves lent animation to
Though the men were absent and
Annlce was able to give her whole at
tention to the floor, on which some one
had chalked, "I love you," In a clear
She wondered idly who might have
done this. Some stage band, probably
considering It a good Joke. Surely no
one would make such an open confu
sion and expect to be taken seriously.
' She was still wondering when she
heard the cue, which was her signal to
turn with a cry of borror to perceive
Lady Gwentlolin prostrate upon the
floor, struck down by Hugh de Malt
ravers, who In private life waa a must
After that it was a busy time until
the fall of the curtain, when she Bad
to run for the dressing-room for a
change to the third-act costume. She
gave the chalk marks no further
thought until the following evening.
There, again, were the eloquent
worda neatly chalked for her inspec
tion. Sha was the only one required
to use tha window. She could not sup
pose tbat the message waa meant for
any one else.
Gradually tha legend began to annoy
her. Every evening the same word
appeared, only to disappear before It
came time to make the change for Jie
She complained to the stage man
ager, but that ofllcinl could offer no
tactical suggestion. He was certain
it was none of the atage boys, and that
waa all the satisfaction she coald ob
tain. The matter both annoyed and Inter
ested her. It takes hut little to nuk
talk In a company, and she wlsey
held her peace; but she kept a sharp
eye out In the.hope of discovering the
She even made a practice of running
to the window the moment the curtain
fell In the hope of discovering the
0wrlter erasing the llnea, but by that
time the marks bad bcrn obscured ami
she could only wait for time to unravel
the mystery. 0
On the 250th performance Agnes
Carleton celebrated the event by Intro
ducing a new gown.. In place of the
white aatln, which waa beginning to
show the marks of wear and tear, abe
appeared In a handsome black satin.
which caused every woman in tha au
dience a pang of Jealousy and inci
dentally got her several newspaper
Aa usual, Analc rtood by the win
structure ever erected
dow wondering who her unknown ad
mirer might be. Lady Gwendoiln gave
her customary shriek and Annie
turned with a scream of terror to be
hold the-villain's wicked work.
To-night she supplemented ber stage
horror with a cry more natural. Lady
Gwendoiln fell with her face toward
the audience, tbat they might marvel
at the play of her facial expression
as she slowly died from the effects of
Maltravers' cruel blow. There on the
back of the black satl;i were the mnrks
of a man'a fingers clearly outlined in
In a flash it all came to ber. Hugh
Cameron, who played Maltravers, was
the only person who left the stage. He
made bis exit from the very window
cut of which she had been looking. All
of the other characters were suppoapd
to enter from the castle on the opposite
side of the stage.
It was an easy matter to chalk the
legend while she was having her scene
with Miss Carleton. Then when he
fled from the consequence of his mur
derous assault he could rub oift the
Only the black satin dress had been
out of his calculations. When he bad
grappled with Lady Gwendoiln, the
chalk from bis Imperfectly cleaned
Angers had left their mark. On the old
white dress they had not been notice
able. All through the last act the Incident
kept running througii her head. 8he
liked Cameron very much, better than
anyone else In the company. He had
beeu so kind to her In ninny ways, so
deferential, she could not believe
that he had sought to Insult her. She
could not even Imagine him doing such
a thing even for a joke. He was not
that sort of a man.
it tiurt tier to think tbat be bad a
hand in bis Joke. Just as the curtain
fell at the close of the act she turned
"I should like to speak to yon after
you have changed," she said simply.
He bowed, but it was with no easy
heart that he awaited her coming ou
the dark stage.
She broached the subject directly
"Mr. Cameron," she demanded, "why
do you annoy me by chalking such ab
surd sentiments underneath the win
dow in the second act?"
"How do you know?" he countered.
"You left chalk marks on Miss
Carleton's black dress this evening,
she explained. "Now I want to know
why you played such an absurd
He colored like a guilty schoolboy,
"Believe me," he said, earnestly, "It
was no prank. I meant it, every word.
One night I stood by the window. The
stage hands were all busy with a card
game at the rear and I knew no one
would see It before I came off after
the murder. I picked a piece of chalk
off the call board and wrote the words,
You see, while I play villain on the
stage I am anything but a bold man
off. Just as I was going to sign them
I heard the cue that brought you to
the window and I had Just time to
whisk round the corner. I have been
trying every night since then to get the
courage to sign my name, but if it
hadn't been for the blessed dress 1
never should have done io. I mean it,
every word of it, Miss Wbeatley.
Won't you believe me?"
By special request Miss Carletog wiil
wear her black dress at the wedding.
Lite Easy on Ihls Hallroad,
There Is a small railroad in Michigan
which doesn't figure on the map. It is
only forty miles long and meanders
through the countryside In a casual
sort of way, touching such brisk vil
lages as Parsons Mills, Sleepy Corners
and Appledale. Trains do not run on
this road they creep. The locomotives
appear to be heirlooms of antiquity
say of tbe year 1000 B. C, and the an
tediluvian rolling slock suggests the
ark. The road Is operated ou tbe good
old easy-going principle that baste
makes waste, and It Is said, doubtless
with malicious exaggeration, that a
cow once poked her head through the
car window and ate all the lunch in a
picnic basket while the train was going
One day a woman aud her little boy
took a trip on the road. By the time
Dandcliondale and tbe Junction were
passed the pair had succumbed to en
nui and slumbered In their seats.
"Tickets!" drawled a brass-buttoned
Cbaron with a punch In his hand. Tbe
lady woke up and presented two tick
ets, her own and the boy'a. The con
ductor eyed the youngster and re
marked that be guessed he was much
too old to ride on a half-fare ticket
"Of course he Is," the mother re
plied. "But he wasn't when we start
ed." Chicago Record Ilerald.
ST. LOUIS FAIR.
in! mMuM L
lutely free from pillars. The display from the National
Museum and the Smithsonian Institution Is unrivaled. Tha
original treaty between France and the United States, by
which the Louisiana Territory was transferred to this coun
try, Is exhibited by tha State Department
DRESS WITH MUCH TASTE.
British Bona of Common la the Beat
Garbed Body in the- World.
Taking it all round the House of
Commons is the beat-dressed assembly
In the world. It has an air of good
breeding, of men accustomed to drawing-rooms
and good society. The gen
eral deportment come up to a fairly
high average. You see honorable
members wearing their bats In the
bouse and the alght offends, but that
is not a point of manners, but a cus
tom with a picturesque history at the
back of It You sometimes, too, see
honorable members asleep and you
often hear unmannerly interruptions
from the Irish and tory benches. On
the other band, you never aee an En
glish M. P., as I have often seen an
American Congressman, enjoying the
luxury of a "dry smoke" and relieving
himself by profuse spitting.
The House, too, is much more punc
tilious than Congress on tbe small
points of order. Whenever a member
violates them be la instantly hauled
up, not merely by the speaker, but by
bla fellow members, to many of whom
it Is part of the spice of life to pounce
upon offenders. A for the oratorical
standard of the House it Is difficult to
speak with precision. The late Em
press of Austria used to Bay that she
saw more good and more bad riding In
the English shires than anywhere else
In the world. Much the same aort of
criticism might be passed on. parlia
mentary eloquence. Some of it la ex
ceedingly good, better, I think, than
anything one la likely to hear in Con
gress, but much of It Is atrocious. On
the whole, in this, as in many other
spheres of Anglo-American compara
tives, I should be Inclined to say that,
while the House of Commons best la
better than the Congressional best,
the House of Commons average is be
low the Congressional average. Har
She Get Cigar.
A nice looking woman walked Into
one of the stores of the tobacco octopus
the other night and asked to see soma
of the store's best cigars. The clerk
handed out a dozen boxes In a Jiffy.
While the new patron was taking a
dry whiff of each fifteen men lined up
along the counter to make various pur
chases. They might Just as wefl have
been woodeu Indians as far aa the on
clerk was concerned. But Just about
the time the entire JIne began to dis
play a nervoua desire to get away, the
fair one selected a 12-cent cigar with
a bright band, and asked the customer
next in line if be didn't think It waa a
1'1've been smoking thirty years and
couldn't have selected a better one my
self," he replied gallantly.
"Then will you please wrap this on
up?" she said, tendering the clerk a $20
It took the clerk fiver minutes to
change the bill, and then be tripped on
an empty cigar box and dropped all
the coin. It was finally handed to the
purchaser. When she had her hand on
the door knob she thought of the cou
pons. She turned back.
"Don't you give trading stamps with
cigars?" she asked sweetly, whereupon
the clerk thrust a quarter' worth of
coupona Into her hand. "
"It doe beat all how dead easy a
lady can paralyze a cigar atore," said
one of the men In line when he finally
got the package of tobacco for which
he had waited twenty minutes. Chi
cago Inter Ocean.
Population of Japan,
The population of Japan was esti
mated at 43,152,993, according to tha
last census, taken in 1898. There are
four classes. In the following propor
tion: Imperial family, 63; nobility,
4,uol; gentry, 2.10S.696; common peo
ple, 41,060,508. In these figures are in
cluded 17,573 AInoa, of Hokkaido. 70.-
801 Japanese living abroad, and 12,604
foreigner, in addition, however, ar
the 3.000,000 Inhabitant of Formosa,
so'that the present population Is esti
mated at 50,000,000. Hondo, the chief
island. Is tne most densely populated
part of the empire, having SSI peopl
to the square mile, and It southern
districts have 475 Inhabitant to th
square mil. Of recent yeara there
haa been a rapid concentration of pop
ulation In the cities. There were 73
towns, according to the census of 1898.
having a population of 20,000 or over:
o The Ml tad Her Minion.
"What aort of a girl 1 sher
"Oh, she 1 a miss with a mission."
"And her nUsalon la seeking a man
with a mansion." London Tit-Bita.
To dust carved furniture thert 1
nothing better than a paiater'i bruslv
GEO. P. CROWELL,
rSuoeenot to I. L. Smith,
Oldest ittabllslied House in lbs tailor-
, DEALER IN
Dry Goods, Groceries,
Boots and Shoes, '
Flour and Feed, etc.
This old-established house will con
tinue to pay cash for all ita goods; it
pays no rent; it employs a clerk, but
does not have to divide with a partner.
All dividend are' made with customer
in the way of reasonable price.
Have opened r. office in Hood River.
Call and zi prices and leave orders,
which will be promptly filled.
AY LIGHT KIDS
A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
8ee Nature In all her glorious beauty,
and then the acme of man's handiwork.
The first in found along ihe line of the -
Denver & Rio (rrande Hallroad, the Lat
ter at the St. Louli Fair. Vour trip will
be one of pleasure make the most of
. It. For Information and IUuntrated lit
W. C. HcBRDE, Gen. Agt., Portland. Ortroa
:ON TON BARBER SHOP
L. C. HAYNES, Paor.
The place to get an eaay shave, an up-to-date
hair cut, and to enjoy the luxury of a porcelain
THE VETERINARY SURGEON. --
Has returned to Hood River and Is prepared
to do any work In the veterinary 11a.. . He can
be found by calling at or phoning to Clarke's
JHE NEW FEED 6TORE,
On the Mount Hood road, south of town,
keeps constantly on hand tlie best quality of
UrocericH, Hay, Grain and Feed at lowest
D. F. LAMAR, Proprietor.
JTCREKA MEAT MARKET,
McCiVIRE BROS., Trons.
Dealer In Fresh and Cured Meats,
Poultry, Fruita and Vegetables.
and union Pacific
r,..T TISSE SCHEDULE! -Periling,
Cblcsgo fait Uk., Denver, i:K p. as,
Portland Ft Worlh.Omaha,
Special Kansas City, St.
1 :4c a. m. Louii.Chlcagoand
via . East.
A fan tie St. Paul Fast Mall. 10:10 a. Bh
It. Paul AtladUs Express. 7:Wa.sb
PORTLAND TO CHICAGO
No Change of Cars.
. Lewest Bates. Quickest Tub.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
tttf.SL 111 sailing dates 1:0 a. at,
subject to Changs ,
Fer Sea Fraadsee - -
tell every t day
Dally Celunsla River 1:00 a. at
VeS t"u' Masters. x.aanaar
Saturday T Astoria and Way -
s:r , Landings.
um. ""laeierle Hrtr. i:0e,m.
and FrL Balem, Indepen- tat.
tad way landings.
t o am. YasialH lifer. 4:Wn.
fa-! Tkn' MoslwTa.
tv. JBparla -tatkt llrar. Lt UvlsSaa
Bally eioept Klparia I Lewlstoa Daily exeat
A. L. CRAIQ,
eaeral Pssssnser AeanL Part. a.
I. J. KXNNAUD, Agent, Hood River.