FARMER LIFE IDEAL
THE LOT OF THE TILLER OF THE
SOIL IS TO BE ENVIED.
Drudves In Cltr Shop. Kaow Moth.
In of HU Indcpendeace, aad Al
though the Work la Bard and la
ccaaant the Reward la Bare.
i
If same of the farmers who are dis
couraged because they have not made
t fortune off their farms and who feel
Inclined to envy their brother toilers la
the city, Imagining that life In the city
Is more desirable than theirs, easier
and filled with plenty of leisure to en
Joy all the pleasures with which the
rustic imagination gilds and glorifies
those distant scenes and activities,
they need only try to find out their
mistake. "Far fluids are green" and
lose much of their attractiveness upon
a nearer view.
To the city man of ordinary means
and opportunities, who, like the ordi
nary farmer, has no bank account to
fall back upon in case of emergency,
life is one "demnitlon grind and with
out the soothing influences of nature
that surround the farmer to quiet the
fever and unrest with which the strug
gle, competition and turmoil around
him keep his nerves on the rack day
after day. As a rule, such men are not
their own masterB, but must order
their speech, demeanor and Inclinations
to please the powers that have control
over their dally doings in order to keep
bread In the mouths and clothes on the
backs of both themselves and their
families.
The farmer, if he does not feel well,
can rise in the morning at whatever
hour it pleases him so to do, for an
hour or so or a day or two does not
make much difference In bis affairs,
except at the most critical periods of
planting and harvesting. He can have
his own opinions, and voice them, too,
on politics and religion and all the
stirring questions of the day without
fear of antagonizing the powers that
be, who can "sack" him If his views
and opinions do not happen to coincide
with those of his masters or "over
lord" (the boss).
That the farmer Is a hard worker no
body can deny. Tilling the soil is not
easy work. Since God gave the com
mand to man to "earn his bread by the
sweat of his face" the farmer's life
has been a life of toll. It takes some
strength and effort to dig a living out
of the ground. It Is not easy to earn a
living, much less a fortune, without
effort, and the farmer Is not the only
one who "sweats." Brain workers
have no sinecure, although some per
sons Imagine that all they have to do
Is to sit at a desk and add up figures
or to twiddle a pen In their fingers. The
life of a salesman behind the counter
is most wearisome and monotonous.
The beautiful days of spring go by,
the birds are singing as they build
their nests, the flowers are blooming In
the valleys and on the hillsides, and the
grass Is growing greener and greener
In the meadows, yet never a glimpse
does he get of the beauty of the bright
world except when he can take a car
ride of an evening or on a Sunday or
holiday.
A grocer's clerk works more hours
and harder than the average country
boy, who can go to the "corner" and
pitch quoits and gossip with his cronies
when the city young man is just get
ting from work, and, as for the man
who delivers milk In the city, he has
even harder work and longer hours.
At 4 In the morning and even earlier
his wagon Is heard on the streets and
himself racing from top to bottom of
the high apartment buildings In the
cold and sleet of a mldwlnter'a morn
ing or In the enervating heat of sum
mer. At breakneck speed be goes, and
one could almost Imagine that his life
depended upon getting througn on
rounds In due season. Competition Is
so great that he must neglect nothing
and always be pleasant and obliging
to the most unreasonable of customers
for fear of losing one. There are the
Icemen, carrying fifty pounds and often
100 pounds of Ice up four flights of
stairs, which Is no easy task, and as It
la not skilled labor the pay Is probably
not more than it should be, considering
the amount of strength expended.
Hard as the work is and moderate as
Is the pay, no man can afford to lose
his Job, so he has to be very careful not
to antagonize his employers.
The man who does business on
small scale and Is his own boss prob
ably finds It no easier to make a living,
for he has to do the greater part of his
own work, and In the case of a bad or
unprofitable season Is sometimes not so
well off as his hireling, who is sure of
his wages at least.
That man who owns his land and
has good health Is a poor farmer who
cannot make at least a living for him
self and family. It may not be a sump
tuous living, but It may be a conipara
tlvely comfortable one. This cannot
be said of all sorts of occupations.
There Is another hope ahead for the
farmer. If he doesn't have good luck
this year, he may the next There is
always a chance that there will be a
better yield In crops and a better price
In the market The element of uncer
tainty adds zest to life which a settled
amount of wages from month to month
and from year to year cannot give, and
he Is always sure of enough to eat on
the farm of some sort or another.
The time Is coming and is not far dis
tant when the farmer's life will be
looked upon as the Ideal life by many
of the world weary toilers of the
crowded cities. Even now the one
bright dream of many a drudger in the
stores and offices Is of a happy time
coming when he will have a farm, a
home all his own in the country, where
be can rest bis tired brain and nerves
as he sits beneath his own vine and
fig or apple tree. Whoever despises a
farmer's life Is a fool; It Is the most
Independent life on earth. Country
Qentlemaa
Women and Their Tronblea.
Once upon a time two women wera
talking over their troubles, and while
one was telling her talc of woe the
other was very impatient to tell hers.
Finally, after several unsuccessful
attempts, the second woman managed
to tell her story, and as she had the
last say she improved very much on
the tale of the first woman, In conse
quence of which the first speaker was
made quite unhappy.
Moral. Some women are more
wretched than others because the oth
ers have more troubles than they have.
New York Herald.
Mark Twain on Ljrlns".
Why will you humbug yourselves
with that foolish notion that no He Is a
lie except a spoken one? What is the
difference between lying with your eyes
and lying with your mouth? There is
none, and if you would reflect a mo
ment you would see that It is so. There
Isn't a human being that doesn't tell a
gross of lies every day of his life.
Mark Twain in Harper's.
Calculating.
Elderly Adorer I am sixty-nine and
have $300,000.
Fair Young Thing I'll give you an
answer the day after tomorrow. I will
bave to figure it all out in the mortuary
tables.
Coatly Tranaaetion.
"De mule I stoled wu only wuth
$20," said the Georgia darky, "en, bleaa
me, ef de lawyer didn't charge $50 ter
prove me innercent!" Atlanta Const!-tntlon.
SLEEP ON A COLD SMOKE.
I ri mm uiij ripe saia to Be mm
Insomnia Cure.
After giving a fair and patient trial
to each of many alleged cures for
sleeplessness the writer stumbled across
a simple method of Inducing somno
lence that has the merit of being harm
less and Inexpensive. To smokers the
remedy involves no cost whatever, but
of nonBmokers the capital outlay of
the price of a pipe is required. It must
be a wooden pipe and curved, not
straight
Having retired for the night, the suf
ferer should lie perfectly flat on his
back, discarding pillow rests, and puff
steadily at an empty pipe until be feels
thoroughly drowsy. The desired result
usually is achieved after from about
sixty to a hundred puffs have been
made. The puffing should be done
slowly, with a deep Inhaling movement
The expelling motions must be made
deliberately with narrowed mouth.
During the entire operation the pipe
should not be removed, as each displac
ing and replacing movement tends to
wakefulness.
Those capable of great concentration
of thought should, if smokers, imagine
they see volumes of smoke, and those
who eschew the burning weed will be
helped by counting the puffs.
As sleep is often successfully wooed
while yet the pipe is in the mouth,
bowls of meerschaum or clay are not
recommended, since these are liable to
be broken when the coming of slumber
allows the pipe to slide from the
mouth. Nervous people may be reas
sured that there is no danger in falling
asleep with the stem edge of a curved
pipe caught between one's teeth. Sleep
always occasions the grip to be re
moved. That may hold also of straight
pipes, but for other and obvious rea
sons these are less suitable than those
with curved stems. New York Mall
and Express.
LONDON'S LORD MAYOR.
Ula Power aa Well a the Area lie
Ralea la Limited.
The lord mayor of London Is not the
all powerful official he is thought to be
on the continent He Is not the mayor
of all London, but only of the city of
London, and the City Is but a frac
tion of the whole. Greater Loudon has,
roughly, a population of 6,000,000, but
in the 050 acres that comprise the City
there Is a resident population at night
of only 88,000 and by day of little over
300,000. And even within this area the
power of the lord mayor and of the
twenty-six aldermen and the two hun
dred odd common councilors are by no
means autocratic.
Much of what used to lie within his
and their province has been taken over
by the London county council. In fact,
the average Londoner never thinks of
the lord mayor as an edict making,
law giving official. He stands altogeth
er apart in the popular mind from ques
tions of rates and assessments, schools
and police. Very few people could say
what legislative functions, if any, he
fulfills. They may have heard that be
is the chief magistrate of the courts,
but beyond that their knowledge of his
precise duties does not stray. It is the"
social and decorative side of his posi
tion that impresses the public. The
lord mayor is never without his badge
and rarely without his robes aud chains
of office. He rides abroad in a magnif
icently gilded coach, with powdered
coachmen and footmen in cocked hats
aud silk knee breeches, sending a gleam
of gold through the dirty drab of Lon
don. The lord mayor's show on Nov. 0 is
one of England's few annual pageants
nud, uncouth as it is, has a warm place
In the hearts of the populace, and, be
sides all this, he has some rights and1
provlle'ges of oo years' standing, o
troops may pass the City boundaries
without his leave. The sovereign him
self has to ask permission to cuter the
city walls, just as he has to ask for
permission to enter the house of com
mons. Harper's Weekly.
LOST HIS NERVE.
Vhy It Wm That Bl Pete Failed to
Bit the Sheriff.
There were thirty men in the White
Wolf saloon when the sheriff of Silver
county sauntered in to arrest big Peta
Thompson for murder. Pete was play
ing a hand in a game of poker, and
after nodding to him the sheriff stood
up at the bar and called for a drink.
His back- was scarcely turned when
Pete laid down his cards, pulled his
gun and fired six shots as fast as bis
finger could pull the trigger. The sheriff
never moved. When the smoke had
rolled out of, the open door and we
could see, tho sheriff stood in the same
position and wore the same smile. One
bullet had burned his cheek; a second
had grazed bis ear; a third had cut
through bis shirt collar under the left
ear. Big Pete was a dead shot, and
yet be had missed his man at fifteen
feet.
"Got through, Pete?" asked the sher
iff, breaking a silence that was posi
tively painful.
"And you you are not heeled!"
gasped 'Pete as his arm 'sunk slowly
down.
"No; come on."
"You didn't bring your guns?"
"No; if you are through shooting,
we'll go."
Pete laid bis two guns down on the
table before him and walked to the
door and out into the street. His horse
was tied to a post a block away. He
reached the horse, mounted and then
headed down the long street after the
sheriff, who was giving him not the
slightest attention. In five minutes the
pair were out of sight
"What aljed Pete?" was asked of
the barkeeper, who had come to the
door of the saloon.
"Lost his nerve," he brusquely re
piled. "How do you mean ?"
"Why, the sheriff coming without a
gun and standing there to be shot at
took all his sand away and made a wo
man of him."
"Suppose the sheriff had had a gun?"
The man jerked his bead toward the
field wherein fifteen or twenty victims
had been buried and said:
"He'd 'a' bin over thar."
"And will big Pete get clear?"
"Likely; but he'll have to leave here.
The boys bave already put him down
as N. G."
Aeeompllahed.
Mrs. Gimp Is Miss Stitcher much of
1 dressmaker?
Miss Piping Splendid. She never
has to make a dress over more than
two or three times. Boston Transcript
Fruity.
"She's evidently the apple of bis
eye."
"He told me she was a peach."
"So? Well, at any rate, they are a
fine looking pair." Indianapolis New.
The Need of Modiah Soda Mint.
Under ordinary social and gastronom
ic couditlous'there Is probably a great
deal more heartburn than heartburn
ings. Indianapolis News.
Advise an old man to marry a woman
young enough to be his daughter, and
he may ask if you take him for a fool.
but be will not be offended. Atchison
Globe.
"I wish you had broken the news
more gently," sighed the editor as the
office boy pled the first page by drop
ping the form down a flight of stairs.
Baltimore American.
AND
IDLEWILDE ADDITION
TO HOOD RIVER.
Centrally Located. Fine View.
Pure Spring Water.
STREETS ARE NOW BEING GRADED,
Sidewalks will be Put in when Grading is Completed
Property is in the first sewerage system that will be put in by the town
of I loot! Kiver. " '
Several line buildings will be erected on the property during the summer.
Special Inducements to Peo
pie who wish to Build.
For full particulars call upon
PRATHER INVESTMENT CO.,
Or
GEORGE D. CULBERTSON & CO.
J. F. Batchelder and R. R. Erwin, Trustees.
TRY A WANT AD.
If you want to buy anything, or
have anything to sell, try the effect
iveness of a Want Ad in the (JLA
CJ Ell. A six-line ad will cost you
ONLY 25c A MONTH
HAVE
$60,000
Worth of Land for Sale Cheap, or Trade
Also, HORSES, CATTLE, WAGONS, MILLS AND WATER.
t(
The Valley Improvement company have contracted for about all the water they can furnish without enlarging the flume. In order to enlarge the Hume the Davenport Pros, have decided
sell land to the amount of $00,000. This will be a bargain in lands, ami will hold good for 30 days and then will be taken off the market. So you will "have to hurry" if you wantsomeof it.
This sale will include the Parrett Ranch, the best
farm in Hood Kiver valley. Four thousand fruit trees;
free water for a part of it; contains 180 acres; worth
$20,000, but will sell in a lump for $10,000 cash. Or
we will sell in 5, 10, 1." and 20 acre lots to suit the
purchaser. This is a tine bargain at only $16,000
Also, the famous ranch known as the old E. L.
Smith place, near the Frankton school house. This
place contains luO acres, with several fine cold springs
on the place, ami nearly enough water to irrigate the
entire land. Only 2 miles from town, with the Frank
ton school on the place, one of the best schools in the
valley. This place will be sold in small lots and will
all be gone inside of ten days, for $15,000
Next conies the old Van Johnson place, and this
will lie included in this bargain sale. Worth $4,000,
but for the cash it will go for 3,000. This place con
tains 40 acres, 2. in clover and timothy, ."00 bearing
apple tm, house and barn, nice wood shed, cold spring
ait the door, good cellar, small hay barn, all the water
needed for the place from a private ditch from Pitch
creek. You can not afford to miss this at $3,000
Also, ten acres from the southeast corner of the old
Sipma place, all cleared and seeded to clover and tim
othy. Plenty of water for irrigating the entire place,
free' Well worth the price $2,000
Another 100 acres on Paid mountain, for 52,000
Twelve hundred acres 4 miles from town, worth ten
dollars per acre. We will sell for 8,000
3,300 acres up around Parker Town. This
land will be sold off in 80 and 1G0 acre lots for about
five dollars ier acre, or the whole tract for about.. $15,000
M. M. Davenport has 13 acres for sale cheap. He will
also sell his house and lot, with 8 acres, cheap.
We are not offering this land cheap lieeause we are
hard up, but to help out the Valley Improvement Co. The
deeds to this land are in the name of the Davenport Pros.,
hence there will be no commission. All the lands seliKted
by them for choice hay lands, as well as apples- and straw
berriec, all having free water more or less. These places
are the oldest places taken in Hood River, and are also the
best, as all of them have good cold springs on tlrem.
We also have eight or ten large teams that we wilPsell
in the next thirty days, including harness nmPj wagons.
Eighty head of cattle in good condition; two complete
saw mills.
Do not think because we are offering to sell that we are
going out of business, for none of this property is included
in our lumber business. The Davenport Pros. Lumber Co.
is incorporated for $."o,ooo, fully paid up. Their large
mill is now cutting 4o,ooo feet per day, and included in
this, besides their mill, is the water flume, timber, planing
mill, lumber, etc. We are sun' that this property w ill lie
sold inside of 3o days to men living right here in the val
ley, as the men know the bargains there are in it, and we
an- also sure they will not let theout.side take up these snaps.
Call on Frank Da vendort, in the old bank building,
. and look over the plat of the above lands.