fWMianilis M 0H THE One Life's Secret! El CHAPTER VI. A month passed. Louis had intended to leave the chateau at the expiration of month. It went by, but still he lingered; and, as he had no pressing business else where, he said to himself that the sum mer might wear away as well here as in places where he might not like so well to stay. So he was in no hurry to depart. Time passed very pleasantly at the chateau. A great portion of his days was passed Indoors, in the society of his un cle and his beautiful cousin Helen; and the remainder was spent in the open air, In the oursuit of his favorite amuse ments. Louis was as fond of sketching as ever, and nearly every morniug he anient have been seen roving about the neighborhood In search of food for his pencil, as we have already seen him, re turning at noon, to display to Mademoi selle Montauban the result of his labor; though, on the first occasion of this kind, It must be allowed that the exhibition of his sketches was subjected to some slight reserve, the oicture of Boss and her dwelling being withheld. For what rea- on, however, he himself, perhaps, scarce ly knew at the time. He had seen Rose two or three times since that visit, both at the chateau and at the cottage, where he had met her father also. The admiration of Louis for our pretty heroine certainly was by no means on the decrease; while Hugh I.amanta was an enigma to him. The pe cullarlty of this man's appearance and manners was a matter of no little per plexity to him as to others. The gravity and reserve of Hugh were so many sub jects of mystery. But It was a mystery not likely soon to be solved. Nobody knew anything concerning him prevloua to the time of his coming to occupy his nresent abode. His former place of res Idence was unknown. Conjecture had done her best, and the mystery remained a mystery still Louis often spoke with his uncle on this subject. The good marquis could only shake his head In perplexity. "He Is a strange man, that la all I can say, my dear boy," said he; "and yet there Is something about him which attracts me. That lofty sternness which he sometimes wears atrikes one moat strangely. I never observe it without thinking of " . "Of what, monsieur?" asked Louis. "Of my of Henri your uncle, my boy. We quarreled once, he and I, and he wore Just that look and manner after ward. You never saw him, Louis." And the food maraula sighed. "What was the reason of the quarrel, oncle?" asked Louis. "It Is a long story. I cannot tell you now," was the answer; "but, some day, Derbaps, I will relate It to you." It was no uncommon thing now for Louts to encounter Jacques Leroux now, In his usual strolls about the neighbor hood. They often met; and the young count feeling an interest In this rough, but evidently honest-hearted fellow, who had taken pains to render him a service, spent many an hour In conversation with him while reclining on the banks of the , i ..,am r n v n trtiA In amrllnff- nr roamlug over wood and hill, with his be loved portfolio, for Louis was an unwear ied artist. And all this time Gasparde was away. Hugh and Jacques alone knew where; for the former, Hugh Lamonte, uneasy at a neighborhod so little to be desired, had dispatched him to manage the affairs of that portion of the horde engaged In . the contraband trade, well reasoning that, being as far distant as the coast itself, he had nothing unpleasant to apprehend from him. Gasparde, as may be guessed, had been no little dissatisfied with this arrangement, and reaolved to return, se cretly, as soon as an opportunity p re seated itself. It was one day when Louis had been rambling about during the whole morn ing that, wearied out, he threw himself beneath the shadow of a tree to rest, in the midst of a small grove half way be tween the chateau and the cottage. He bad a book with htm, and opening It, aoon became deeply engaged In its perusal. Perhaps he might have passed half an hour thus. At the end of that time, how ever, he closed It, and taking up his a-un. which he had thrown on the turf beside hiin, he took his way towsrds the road, which was not many steps distant. But he bad hardly reached it, ere a bul let whistled through the air, struck his left arm, ploughing up the flesh as It went, amd continuing its course till it lodged in the trunk of a large tree by the roadside. It had evidently proceeded from some olace very near the spot which he had left; but he had no time to look for the source of the compliment, for the warm blood already poured down bis arm, sat nratlng completely the sleeve which cot ered it. Hastening on, he eat down by the trunk of the tree which bad recelv ed the bullet, and taking his handkerchief out folded It into a bandage. At that moment, raising his eyes, he beheld Jacques Leroux coming along the road ' from the village. He called to him, and the man ran up. "What's the matter now, Monsieur TiaiiT" he asked, in some surprise. "Shot In the arm? Winged like a wild fowll Why, what " He glanced at the gun that the count had a gala laid down, and Louis recognised the Impres sion which he entertained. "Well, my good fellow," he said, light ly, despite the slight faintness he felt from the loss of blood, you Co not thin I would commit Intentional suicide do you? and If I did, I should certainly se lect a surer spot than this. But I am lad you are here. This one-handed work la rather awkward. Just fasten the band age about It tightly. If you please so. That la It. Be sure the knot Is fast." And during this time Louis had con eluded, aince Jacques had drawn hia own Inferences, to let him keep them, and tell blm nothing concerning the actual state of the matter; for thought had sud denly occurred to Llm, as he endeavored to account for the case himself, which made him resolvo to trust hia own dex terlty In finding out the truth, and keep ileal on the subject until them. For whoever had fired this shot at him was an enemy, aince he could not bring him elf to believe the deed unintentional. And what enemy had he besides Gas parde? Louis passed several days in deep rcBec tloa. A double object occupied his at tention, which was, Id part, the discov ery of the present whereabouts of Gss- Darde. whom he believed to be in the neighborhood without the knowledge of Hugh Lamonte; the other point the read er will presently understand. A bait-perfected scheme mas in pro- finally laid it out to hi own eatiufac- tlon. By this time hia arm was almost en- tlrelv heuled. He had remained witDin doora for some daya; but now resumed hi nsual out-of-door amusements, taung good care, however, to avoid every place wherein a foe might lie concealed. Borne careleas inquiries which he maae of Kose and her father, assured him that, even if Gasparde were In the neighbor hood, they were unconaclous or it. am resolved to set watch, however, to as certain the amount of correctnesa In his uspicions. One day, very ahortiy arter me occur rences above recorded, Louis received let ters from Lyons which seemed to inter est him very deeply. Business of some Importance, be announced, oungea mm io leave the chateau sooner than he had In tended. The good marqul expressed the utmost concern and regret at neanng "Wbyy my dear Louie," said he, "I counted on keeping you for months yet Why will you go? Surely you can sud mlt to your agent, or avocet, all affairs of business for the present. "My dear uncle, the case Is Jmpera- tive," answered the count. "Then, as soon as thta anair la trans acted, you will return to us? I will hear of no refusal." "I promise you, monsieur, 1 wm re turn. ... Helen Montauban had waited sneniiy for the decision. She made no attempt to urge Louis to prolong his stay. She did not even express a regret at the an nouncement of his intended departure on the following day; but closer oDserver might have Been the emotion which she felt. And she received the parting kiss of her handsome cousin with smile. "My dear Helen," he said, franltiy, tail ing her hand In his, "tell me that you are (orry to bid me adieu, or I shall not believe It." "I do regret your departure, Louis," she anawered, In a low, clear tone; "but why should I display It? You ssy your busi ness Is Imperative, and I would not detain you. Besides, you are to return." "Yea I shall return," he echoed. "Adieu, sweet cousin 1" "Louis," said the marquis, a he ac companied hia nephew to the gate of the court, "you must mind and come back as soon aa possible. If the plan which I mentioned the other day succeeds, Rose will be an Inmate of the chateau before winter. Poor little Rose! one cannot but wish to see her In such circumstances as seem more befitting her. Helen needs friend and companion, too, and both will be benefited. If Hugh Lamonte will consent to part with her, she shall come. The first thing that put this plan into my thought was the persecutions of that fel low Gasparde. I wished to remove her from his way. To be sure, he is not here at preaent, but then there la no knowing how soon he may return. I shall talk with Hugh I shall talk with him; and Helen will use her influence, too, I know, for she likes Rose. So when you return, yon may, perhaps, find another cousin, not conceal. Hia countenance was w, frank and pleaaing one; the feature in disputably handsome, and the complexion lightly darkened, evidently by exposure to sun and wind; while the simple open ness and honesty of hi manner could not fail to please one. At the Invitation of Hugh Lamonte he entered and aat down, tatlng that he bad come from Avallon, and deaired to obtain employment In tbia neighborhood. "What kind -of employment do you aeek?" aaked Hugh. "I am gardener, monsieur," answered the young man, respectfully, "and If I could have the care of garden some where about here " "Rut." intermDted Hugh. In a thought ful tone, "we do not need gardener about hare. I7n In the village, where the peo ple are all farmers, they take care of their own gardens. Besides, It Is late la the. uann for that work. The young man blushed as he returned: "O. I know that, monsieur I know that; but 1 would be willing to work for so much the less." "nnd! But still. I think It is not very likely that you will find employment of tht kind. If It were the spring Instead of near the autumn now, perhaps the marquia might take you. But as It la, m.) think nf something else. You reallv in need of work, I suppose?" "Yea, monsieur. I bring a certificate from my former master. "Who was he?" "Ths Pnmnta d'Artols. monsieur." "The ComDte d'Artoisl" Hugh regard ed the young man fixedly for moment, till th rari mar flushed into his cheek coin "Ijt ms see Your certificate. If vnu nleaae." he aald. The man drew it forth and gave It to Hush. It aaid simply: "This certifies that the bearer, Robin Marron, la Industrious, honest and tem nerate. and will be found faithful and trustworthy by whoever may need hi eer- vlces. "(Signed). LOUIS. COMPTE D'ARTOIS." "That 1 well," said Hugh, quietly, aa he returned the paper, "and speak ex-i-Mlentlv for vou. Master Robin. But It will not be of much use here, I am afraid. Is there nothing else you could do?" "Oh, yes, monsieur," answered Robin. "I like this neighborhood, and I have some fancy for farm work. Doubtlea I could make myself useful to some of your neighbors." "Well, It 1 a busy time, and there la every chance for one who come recom mended like you. Extra work-people are wanted by several of the farmers. There la Antoiue Lebrun and Pierre Martin, both of whom I know need one or two more men. They live something like mile or two beyond here. You will, with out doubt, find work among some of them." "Thank you. I will try them," return ed Robin, rising, and taking up hia stick and bundle, which be had laid beside him on the floor. (To be continued.) OUR BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Joke and Jokeleta that Are Bnppoaed to Have Been Hecently Born-Bejlaae and Doing, that Are Old, Carloaa and Langhable-The Week's Humor. . HarduDDMy wife Is alck, doctor. What will you charge lor attending her? Physician-Three dollar a visit. Hardupp Well er-we don't care to entertain visitor. Couldn't you mage It a ten-minute call for a dollar? A Tonus Anatoiiist. Some daya ago two little fellows of and 8 year heard older people peaking of skeletons. The 7-year-old boy listened intently to the conversa tion, when the elder boy, with an air of superior knowledge, said abruptly: You dou't know what a skeleton 1, and I do." "So do I!" replied the younger. "I do know. I know for certain, I do!" Well, now, what Is it?" If bones with the people off!" Llpplncott's Magazine. Preparing; tor the Bill. Wederly I'm learning to swear in French. Singleton Because why? Wederly Because my wife has transferred her patronage to a French milliner. He Was Nearsighted. A BRITON'S IDEA OF FREEDOM. Hunrouiaater (bowing politely to scarecrow) The man Is certainly ragged-looking, but he la Indeed polite. Wherein They Differ. Little Wlllle-Say. pa. what' the difference between a lunch and luncheon? Pa-A lunch, my son, Is a light din ner and a luncheon Is a light lunch. ,ou!s." "Your plan is an excellent one, my dear uncle," returned the young man, "and wish you all success. Depend upon It, the endeavors which you and my cousin make, for the benefit of Rose, will not be thrown away." The gate of the court closed; the guest was gone. Slowly rode master and man down the valley to the little inn by the roadside, and here Louis dismounted. Immediate ly, aa ha did ao, there came from an inner room a young man, wno, appearing at the door, made a respectful obeisance to Louis, saying: "Ah! monsieur; you ee I am punc tual." "Good!" answered the count "How long have you been here?" "Three hours fully, 1 tnink." "That Is well. I see you do not forget your master'a habits. But come; we must have a room in private for a little while. Francois!" to his valet, "get down and wait awhile. I wish to transact some pri vate business with this person. Come, Robin!" You have cot your spade and ita ac companiments with you, i presume?" In quired the young count of the man he bad met, as the two entered a little room to gether. "Yes, Indeed, Monsieur Louis, and one or two changea of apparel. It Is for no more than a month or two, I think you said?" "That la all." "Then I dare say I brought sufficient with me; more than that might be thought auperfluous, you know. We must be natural. Yes yes. Robin. It Is all right fcbut the door now, and be careful there Is no chance for eavesdroppers." They went In, and the door waa clea- ed upon them. Some twenty mlnutea might have elaps ed when it waa re-opened and they came forth again, the young count etriking from his varnished boot one or two straws with his riding switch, and bend ing his head to conceal a smile that curv ed hia mustached lip; while hia compan ion, with less apparent restraint was laughing outright a low, musical, but hearty laugh. He quickly grew grave, however, and aald, aloud, as they pro ceeded to the outer door, where the inn keeper waa atill standing, and endeavor ing to draw the usually gruff Francois into something like conversation: "You think, then, monsieur le compte. that I ahall get employment aomewbere about here?" "O, doubtless doubtless, Robin!" was the reply. "You will have my certificate of character, If it is required; but your face will do aa well, if I am not mistak en. "Well well! I aeed not tell you to bo have yourself, Robin. I wish that you may meet with good fortune." "Thank you, monsieur," returned, the other, gratefully. "I ahall endeavor to do credit to your recommendation." "Ah well!" muttered Francois, cross ly, as be mounted his own little hack, and glanced surlily enough towacd his master: "if young people will turn Into wild geese. I do not know who will re peat but themselves." CHAPTER VII. On the day of the couat's departure from the Cbatean Montauban, there stop ped at the cottage of Hugh Lamonte a young peasant dressed io" roars but neat garb, and carrying across his shoul der a heavy stick, on which swung a bun dle aestly tied op In a large cotton handkerchief. This persoa wss of something above the It Was to Boll Himself on the Whit Hons Lawn, and Ua Did It "I never go to Washington that I do not think of a young Englishman who went around the city with me a dozen rears ago," Bald a man who bad Just returned from the Inauguration cere monies. "We saw everything that ther was to be seen. He was pleased with everything, and he said so; but the thing that Impressed blm most was the lack of formality and the absence of guards. "He never tired talking of this and comparing the simplicity of the ar rangements In Washington with the way the rulers of Europe are guarded. Particularly he was Impressed by the fact that any one who wished was al lowed to go into the White House grounds, and wander around without showing any passes or credentials of any kind. "Well, one day we were wandering around and we went up past the White House. The Englishman stopped and watched the stream of men and women going Into the grounds. " 'By Jove,' he said, 'It Is wonderful and no mistake. Why, they let you do just as you please. Do you know, I think that If a fellow wanted to he could go In there and roll over on the lawn and there wouldn't be a person' who would think of speaking to htm about It' 'Of course, no one would speak to him about it,' I said. 'What more, if you want to do It I'll stay here and watch you, and if any one does say anything about it I'll help you lick him.' , " 'Will you?' he said. " 'I mean It,' I said. "He looked at me for a minute and then be walked Into the White Hous grounds. There was a crowd there, but no one pnld the least attention to him. He went out on the lawn, right In front of the main entrance to the building, and lay down flat on bis back. Then he rolled over three times, slowly and deliberately. Then be got up and walked out of the grounds, as happy aa though he bad found $10, Natural Daluctlon. "As for me," said the boastful stran ger, "I don't know what fear "Ah," observed the man who car ried one eye In a allng, "then you are a bachelor?" A (Spare Room, We're a trifle upset," said the man who lives In a flat. "Had to take all our winter clothes out of the ball closet." "Why, how was that?" "To put up a cot In it; friend from out of town dropped in yesterday and spent the night with us." Philadel phia Press. GEO. P. CROVELL, i Successor to I. L. Smith, ;ttbllshed House In the velley.1 DEALER IN Paid far Her Trouble. Tess Roxley's young widow has $2,- 000,000, I hear. Jess Yes; but Just think of earning that much money in one year. Test Why, she didn't earn the money herself jess Of course she did. Wasn t she married to him for a year? Philadel phia Press. Apprehensive. Willie Er darling, w-w-hnt are those heavy sounds on the stairs? Madge That's only papa walking In his sleep. Willie (skeptically) Does er d- doe he sleep with bis shoes on? Bal timore American. Woree than Lottery. "Love, after all Is a lottery." "It's worse than that, my boy, for when a man draws a prize it frequent ly costs him all he's got." Detroit Free Press. One of Manv. MIfkins How doe your friend Hooker spend his time since he retired from active business? Bifklns Oh, he fishes all summer and lies about it all winter. Putting Him Wise. He (on the beach) What a pity to go into the water with that pretty bathing suit. She Oh, I am not going Into the water. This Is the suit I take my sun bath In. Never Wore Them. "That chap must have come out here to starve," said Amber Pete. "Why so?" asked the new arrival In the Western town. "He's a collar salesman." Accomodating;. Oreat falratlon. "Superstition is a great thing," said the returned explorer. "Speaking from experience?" asked the close friend. "Yes, sir. Why, on the last voyage, when we were Just about to famish, every man discovered a rabbit's foot in hi pocket, and we bad rabbit-foot soup." Marks. "They are a family of marked social distinction." ' "Why marked?" "So people will know It, I suppose." A Reminder. Clerk Here Is an order from Smiths for two quarts of berries, but It doesn't say what kind. Grocer Send them blllberrles. Tbey owe us over a hundred dollar. Victimised at Last. km immlm , JL TUT 'L Mendicant Can you help a poor man out, sir? Fat Party-1 am sorry I am too stout to grant your request, but I have a big bouncer In the other room, and he will give you any assistance you need. What Always Happens. She Your proposal was quite unex pected. He That being the case, you should have been prepares! for It. She Because why? HeBecause it's the unexpected that always happens, you know. The FootDad Lummy, blowed if . . . . M . I la. fl m A -a. ui a mmi bloom in uuei am. oia uu jNO one luuneu ai uiiu, auu u una spoke to him; to roll over on the White . pmcnea my poc.et . .... . .. House lawn might nave oeen me prop er thing to do so far aa the attention that It attracted went The English- Caaaht on the Rcboaad. "No," said the fair proprietor of the refrigerator heart "I cannot be your man said that if he had acted that way w,fe feut n, t t0 you , In any of the capitals on the other side, he would have been locked up as a dangerous character. He was very "Thanks, awfully," rejoined tha youth who was left at the poet "If there is one thing I need more than proud of bis exploit and I suppose that .,. .in.rw aiar.r to look he is stll! 1 telling the story of It in En- t mt from making cland."-Xew lork Sun. I - . . ;,, Never Again. At the mounted game of Squadron A. not so many years ago, a brigbt Hia Kaowledae of . "Bom physicians declare," remark young jnan sat between two pretty ed the statistician, "that there 1 as girls. In the potato race a trooper oi mucn irengrn in a ui vi the name of Bellamy came in second, in a pouna or neei. "Ah! I am so sorry." exclaimed one - "Huhf snorted the actor, "are yon of the fair ones. "It seemed once as sure they mentioned boef or Llmburg- though he would win." ' er cheese T" Philadelphia Pre. "But," said tu bright young man, "he waa looking backward" (which had been true). ! medium height, light and athletic in form. grees of completion. For a time, as we and with straight shapely limbs, whoa have said, he meditateJ on this, and grace and activity bis rude dreta could "He wasn't" snapped the girt. "H never turned around once." Now the bright young man says h will probably go through life and never see another Bellamy looking backward. Such Is the fate of a punster. New York Evening Sun. I Won id NeTer Do, . "I was thinking," said the architect, "that you might call the house The Crescent." "Not on your life," protested the pro prietor of the new theater, "that would be a hoodoo from the start Tne cres cent is never full."-rhiiadeiphis Press. A machine that wasbea and dries 8, 000 dishes an hour has bees Invented, and It 1 guarauted tbat plates, cups, saucers, and other dishes come out ot the wash without a scratch. Her Laat Chaaca. "That man, my dear, who courts Uiaa Bar 'la ratfcer faat, they aay." "He'll have to be quit fast or ah . Won't let Wm get away." Baltimore Press. lasrenloaa Artist Friend How did you ever got that beautiful red sunrise. - Artist I sketched a tomato. , Which la Wlssat The Optimlit Sunthlne always fol low rain. - The Pessimist Rain always follows sunshine. Somerr ills Journal f harp TraTst The Actor Do many actors come to this locality? The Farmer Should say so. Why, I can t keen a fenre because the boys use all the rails to ride them out of town on. All In the Family. He Will you be my wife? She Certainly not. He Then will you grant me one fa vor? " She What Is It? He Be a mother to me. Father Is going to propose to you to-night. Ihen lie Pondered. Rose Isn't It funny, Mr. Sapp, how one person's feelings affect others? Charlie Sapp How do you mean? Rose Why, you said you felt better when you traveled, and so did every one around here. Orief. When the postman brought the wid ow only a bill for her mourning gowns. she burst Into tears. "How cruel and Indelicate to make me think of earthly things when my rlef Is so new!" she walled. "Be sides, the gowns don't fit!" Abont Women. - Some women are close observers and all women are clothes oDservers, Somervllle Journal. , A Long Jeb. Newsum I suppose you heard that Bragg had committed suicide. Orewsum You mean Bragg, the elf-made man? Newsum Yes. Grewsum Well, well; so he finished himself at last, eh? rnnaaeipnia Free. Catching Klnsj-Tatl Monkey. Ring-tail monkeys, on of the most valuable and expensive of the smaller animals, are caught In an Interesting war. A cocoa nut 1 split In two and a banana with a piece of wood running through It placed lengthwise through the nut, the two halve of which are drawn together by wire. Then a hole la cut large enough for the monkey's paw to enter. The monkey spies the tempting nut from his tree, u oop down, looks It over, sees the hole and smells the banana Inside. He is fond of bananas. Putting his paw in. m grasps It, but the wood prevents It from coming out Then the catchers acnear and the monkey runs for a tree. But he cannot climb because of th cocoanut on his paw and be will not let go of that, so he la captured, pawing wildly at a tre trunk. . Gerald Can you give me no hope? Geraldlne None whatever. I'm going to marry you. Town Topics. When it come to opening up a new country," remarked the Observer of Events and Things, "there is nothing can beat a volcano." Yonkers States man. Jack Lover (expecting an outburst of grief) And what would you say It I should take your sister from you 7 kit tle Helen (quietly and politely) Thank you, Blr. Madge Miss Autumn's name was printed In the paper, but ber age wasn't mentioned. Marjorie Of course not. That girl's age is unfit for publl cation. Life. "Faith. Mrs. O'nara, how d'ye till tlilm twins apart?" "Aw, 'tis alsy I sticks my finger in Dinnis' mouth, an If he bite I know It's Molke." Har vard Lampoon. Scribbler Would you call yourself a poet or simply a versifier? Scrawler Well, when the editor lights nis pip with my stuff it's a case of verse afire. -The Bookman. Gossip proof: Mrs. Crawford Have thev much money? Mrs. Crabshaw Why. they're so rich that, If they pre- tarraa thev could afford to stay In - - - , 4 town all summer. Smart Set. Tommy Mamma, what made people in old New York wear those great big ruffs around their necks? Mamma That is how our first families learned to hold up their heads, my son. Judge. Further Information: "Now," said the teacher, "can you tell me anytnmg about Hiawatha?" "Yes," replied little Henrv: "It's the tune that made Long fellow famous." Chicago Record-Her ald. The Friend And so you don't trust vour lawyer? The Farmer No, sir, He and the lawyer on the other side are too awfully polite. Don't call each other no names at alL" Kansas City Independent. Oracular Reassurance: She I trust, Jack, our marriage will not be agalnt vour father's will. Jack I'm sure, hope not; It would be mighty hard for ua If he should change it lown and Country. The professional man he needed Mike Are ye much hurted, Pat? Do ve want a docthor? rat A docthor, ye fule! Afthcr beln' runned over be a throlley car? That Oi want is lawyer. Judge. A Lack of Coincidence: Downer am clad it is good form not to wear watch with a dress suit. Upper Why? Downer Because I never have had my watch and my dress suit at the same time. Pick-Me-Lp. Photographer Don't assume such a fierce expression. Look pleasant Murphy Not on your life. My wife going to 6end one of these pictures to her mother, and if I look pleasant she'll come down on a visit." rhlla de'.pula Record. "Is this Mr. Lancaster?" "Yes. If you have half a minute to spare I'd like to show you iou needn't. I'll subscribe for It, all right You're the first book agent that ever came here that didn't call me Lank sfr." Chicago Tribune. "Of course," said the boasting colo nel, "there are some who might doubt my valor at Gettysburg because i aia not lost an arm or a ieg. vu, uu let that worry you," spoke up litti Richard; "I beard papa say you lost your bead." Philadelphia Record. Civic Jealousy. Visitor You haven got half as nice a cemetery here as we have In Elmvllle. Prominent citizen (of Hawville) No, I've always heard that the cemetery Is the only part of your town that holds out any induce ments for permanent residents. Chi cago Tribune. "How savagely that cow looks at me," said the typewriter boarder from the city. "I reckon as heow it be on account uv that air red waist yew've got on, miss," answered the old farm er. "Dear me!" exclaimed the key- toying maid; "of course it isn t quite up to date, but I'd no Idea a country cow would notice it" Chicago Dally News. As the steamer "Neptune" was leav ing the harbor of Athens a well-dressed young lady passenger approacnea tne captain, and, pointing to the distant bills, Inquired, "nat is mai wnirej tuff on the hills, captain?" "That is snow, madam," answered the captain. "Is It, really?" remarked the lady. "I thought so myself, but a gentleman has Just told me it was Greece." A filial child: A certain nobleman, well known to society, while one day strolling round his etabltn, came across bla coachman mue uoy on a seai, playing with his toys. After talking to the youngster a short time, be said: "Well, my little man, ao you now who I em?" "Oh, yes," replied the youngster; "you r the man that rides in my father's carriage!" Tit-Bits. Former Suburbanite (astounded) You don't mean to tell nie that you have 50 chicken and you are still on speaking terms with your next-door neighbors?" Suburbanite (smilingly) That's exactly the case. Former Sub- nrhanlte Keen 'em cooped up, eh? Suburbanite Not on your life! You see, the day I bought the fool fowl I made a bluff at driving them out of my garden, and pretty soon they thought they belonged to my uelgh bors, so since then they stick to my garden like glue! Brooklyn Life. Dry Goods, Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Hardware, lour and Feed, etc. Tina nld- established house will con tinue to pay cash for all its goods; it pays no rent; it employs a ciera, wi does not have to divide with a partner. All dividends are made with customers in the way of reasonable prices. Lumber Wood, Posts, Etc. Davenport Bros. Lumber Co. Have opened an office in Hood River. Call and get prices and leave orders, which will be promptly filled. THE GLACIER Published Every Thursday $1.50 A YEAR. Advertising, 50 cents per inch, single column, per month; one-half inch or lets, 25 cents. Reading notices, 6 cents a line each insertion. THE GLACIER prints all the local news fit to print. When vou ste it in THE GLACIS. H you may know that others see it. REGULATOR LINE PORTLAND AND THE DALLES ROUTE All Way Landings. STEAMERS "BARKY GATZERT" "IUIXEB CITY" KKUULATOK" METLAKO" . Connecting at I.yle, Wash., with " Columbia River & Northern Railway Co. FOR Wahkeaenn. Paly, OentervUle, Goldendale and an KUCKiiai vaney poiuui. Steamers leave Portland daily (except Sun day) 7 a. m., connecting with O. R. N. tra nt at I.yle 6:1 p.m. tor Uuldendale, arrives Ihe Dalles 6:3U p. in. stramer leave The Dalles daily (except Sun day) 7 .80 a. m. n .& hi train. lAtvlnff flnldflnri ala fi:lfi a. m. connects with thin steamer for Portland, ar riving Portland S p. m. Hteamer MetiaKo piYina; oeiwwiii Locks and The Dalles, leaves Casrade Loess daily (except Sunday) 6 a. m . arrives The Dalles li :80 a. m. LeavesThe Dalles 8 p. m., ar rive. Cancade Locks p. m. ... The steamer Ualley Gatiert leaves Portland 7 a. m. Tuesday. Thursdays and Haturdays; leaves The Dalles 7 a. m. Mondays, Wednesdays snd Fridays. Round trip tickets between thetie points SO cents. Good on Steamer "Bailey Oatzert" only, affording an excellent opportu nity to view the magnllicent scenery of the Columbia river. Kxcellent meals served on all steamers. Fine accommodation, (or teams and wagons. For detailed information oi rates, berth res trvstions, connections, etc.. write or call on nearest agent. H. C. Campbell, (ien. olllce, Portland, Or. Manager. Beele & Morse Agents, Hood River, Or. ill Oregon Siiot LINE The Oases of Prevention. Cbolij Wbat makes you think old Niggard tbougbt you bad come to blm to borrow-money i Jack Oh, be began talking . right away about bow hard up he waa. SjwervUle Jours!. Ihe Military Spirit in Canada. Figures have Just been published which the Canadian preas claims ss an Indication of the military spirit which animates young Canada. Tbe State of New York has a population of near ly 2,000,000 more than the entire Do minion of Canada, yet Its national guard has an enrollment of only 14,' 408 men. Canada, on tbe other hand. bas 85,000 men In Its active ml'.ltla. and thousands of others who havo gone through mliltla tralr.lr.g and are now on the retired list, and Union Pacific D.r,W "ya" "' Chicago Salt Lake, Denver, 4:10 p.m. Portland Ft. Worth.Omaha, Special Kansas City, St. 1:20 a. m. Louis.Chlcagoaud via East. Huntington. . AHantlo Bt. Paul Fast Mail. 10:30 a. m. Express I IS p.m. via Huntington. St. Paul Atlantic Express. 7:tfia.m. Fast Mail fl0 p. m. via Spokane 70 HOURS PORTLAND TO CHICAGO No Change Of Cars. Lowest Rates. Quickest Time. OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE FROM POUTLAND. .. All sailing dates t:Mf.Bk subject to change For 8aa Francisco tail every 4 uara Pally Cekmtla River Soep. at. Ix. Sunday Steaaiera. Is. Sunday 1:00 ass. Saturday Te Astoria and Way 10:01) p. m. Landings, t ut n wlttaaietta Slyer. t tOp m. Hon., Wed. Tuea.Thtt, and Fri. Salem, Indepen- feat, denes, torvallla and ay landings. 1:00 a. as. YeaihW Itta. 4 N a. m. taaa.. That. Mob- Wa4 and Bat. Oregon City, Dayton am) Fit. aud aay landings. Lv. R I pert a aake Uter. Lv.Lewtste 4:4 a. aa. I (X) a. as. tally exospt Klparla la Lewlatoa Daily exeeat aaturday j j Friday. A. L. CRAIO, teaarel rasesnger Agaat. FarUaaa. Of. M. B.OAB, agent, a Klvae.