....ama.bt.ahaia
EUUUtUllUAUJLUiftUiUl.li' 1 1 1 1
r
Iff
NLY A FARMER'S
DAUGHTER.
MRS. FORRESTER.
1 CHAPTER XI. (Continued.) 1
The morning after Mr. Hastings' visit,
letter cme to Mr. Clayton, announcing
that one of hia balliffa waa suppoeed to
bar robbed him to a considerable ex
tent. The man himself had no Idea that
he was suspected. Francis Clayton was
beside himself; he Towed vengeance
against the delinquent-he would convict
him he would get nun transported hia
wife and children ehoald be reduced to
shame and begga.ty!
"I Bad I shall hare to go back to Eng
land," he told hia wife. "I shall leave
you here, and return for you In a week
or ten days."
"Oh. do take ma with you, Francis,
said the little hypocrite, pretending to
look disappointed.
"Pshaw! I tell yon It la not Conven
ient '
"But what am I to do If you go? I
cannot go to all theaa balla and dlnnere
ara antae-ed to. alone."
"Nonsense. Madame da St. Oeran will
chaperon you if you atlll want chap
eron," added the agreeable husband, with
a sneer. "She knows every friend and
acquaintance we have In Parla."
Madame da St. Oeran was an old friend
and flame of Francis Clayton's, and aha
had for some reason tolerated what aho
called "her Engliah bear." Francla Clay
ton, assuming the privileges of an old
friend. Dald her a most nnfashlonably
rlv visit, asd aha received him in
demi-tollet of elegant almpllclty in her
own boudoir, and was most graciously
pleased to accede to hia request.
"Tell madame. your wife," she aald, In
parting, "that at nine o'clock this evening
I shall have the honor to call for her to
taka her to the opera and afterward to
the ball given by the Duchess ae eau
cour."
And Francis Clayton bent over her
hand and kissed It in manner that
might have edified and astonished ma
dame, his wife. Then he returned to the
hotel, delivered the message to Fee, bade
her good-by, and kissing her coldly, Jump
ed into his braugham, which was in at
tendance to convey him to the station.
Madame de St. Geran called tor Mrs
that trembling, frightened, aa ahe waa.
her indignation was greater. She walked
straight up to him.
"How dare you use aucn worus io un
she cried. "How dare yon utter your
base-minded auspiclona before me! I
would not lower myself so mucn m wj
. . tn attemot to Justify my
conduct You are a poor, miserable
tyrant, wfth whom it la Impossible for
a woman to live and retain her eolf-re-i
mill not itoo under the aama
F- r, ,1,1.
roof with you anotDer nour, a rum
moment I leave you," and she swept to
ward the door. But he waa there before
her, and atood with hia back against It,
to prevent her egress.
"i fnritiii von to leave wu
nnxefnrward vou have no authority
over my actiona," hia wife replied, coldly.
"I leave Parla to-nlgnt.
THia aii rn without servants or
"Be It so! I care not how, but o I
m -
He saw that aha was resolved, and he
was afraid of her. He tried to Juatify
hlinself-to make up the quarrel; aba
not hear a word. Then he apolo
gised, humbly, abjectly; and at lasti she
consented to receive hia amende. Their
misery waa aealed from that hour. How
could a man with a mind like Clayton a
ever pardon a woman wno nao ao au-
uiilruted aim?
The Champions were perhapa not the
most united family in the world. Mr.
Champion waa proverbially Indifferent to
hia wife; Sir Howard ana nie grauu
ba1 nernetual altercations; and,
latterly, Mra. Champion and. her daugh
ter seemed far less attacned to eacn
r than formerly. Flora Champion wai
unhappy and discontented. Her aim In
life waa to make a brilliant marriage, and
ahe failed.
Scene between her and Sir Howard
were of freaucnt occurrence. She qua.
reled constantly with her brother, and the
last and crowning part of ner mortmca
tlon waa that he had fallen desperately
In love with Winifred Eyre. When Mr.
Krra died. Sir lioward had gone to the
Farm and offered to take Winifred to tha
the entrance of Lady Grace Bhe fM
very glad to aee bim: as.eu '"-
he had not been over before, ... -
aand questions about ma '
had been talking aome twenty minutes
when the door opened, auu w
prise Miss Eyre entered, with an ah o
perfect unconcern. Lady Grace, evident-
y not ftiowtng tney nau au - - -that
day, Introduced them. They bowed
C"Though I think yon have met beforer
her ladyship remarked Interrogatively.
"Mr. Hastings cauea once . - -.
. f.ther about aometbiug. we
u . " "i. ah. save
A 1 .1 nf m0T CUUBIHi m-
14 j 14 uvi a - ,
Li . ., flush of her proud eyes,
Her ladvship pressed sir. nn...u.
ine and stay the night at Endon Vale.
j-it . - .nnn,nt-w1 tltnai anil thpT
J 11 w"o h urrye.-tly it theW But she refused-not bitterly
' j...! ki..k ntim not snar ly, but firmly. "Thank you,
of their acquaintance dropped in to .ee... tald. "I u. fumm8 JIB
j n,.i. tn .ithor larlv. You despised and alighted my dear, deal
a. taste or diplomacy auggested. Once father when he wa. alive, and 1 w 11 no
or twice the Frenchwoman looked curl-' accept anything at your handa now And
Z.u T.t her lovelv companion, who for, Sir Howard, instead of being displeased
once was as bright and aparkling aa lu and offended, waa rather gratinea Dy an
?ee ,W" A B V Impendence of spirit which he consider
"..I . "rnalble." sh. thought "for ed due to the blue blood ah. Inherited
man to be Indifferent to a creatur. ao from the Champ ions. ....
"7 ... Meantime Winifred very gratefully a
Thev had seen enough of the opera, and ' cepted another offer that wa m.d. Jo
their "carriage being called, they drove, her. The moment kind Lady Grace heard
off to the ban In the first room Mr,. of her young friend's trouble ahe cam. to
m.x-tnn mPt with Mr. Hastings. una, ner ana w i - r-
took his arm, and they Joined the dancera..1 don Vale at once.
But no persuasion
Mv husband la away " ahe whispered, could induce Winifred to leave m r arm
"and I shall dance to-night to m, heart', not 1 at ter Ue runer ana eve. , .
fa 1. - ri a nnillil not nil II II III UCr UIU I i ivuu, .uauau w
n u - cou,d bear the th0UKUt
I ai t .1.. I... U.t T.ailv (irar-n man
. a warn 01 IRtU J -
The dance waa or. .uu " - b t h , th. girl whom ghe had
wandering together through , Umk m.gni-, Tery dMrly 8o h,
ficent conservatoriea that led from tne Dertuaded Madame de Montolieu
ballroom. Suduemy air. naauug. . - - . d with wlnJ.
content,
let me."
hia companion'a hand tremble violently
on his arm. and ha looked down quicm
Into her face. It waa crimson with
blushes. The words, "Are you 111? were
on hia Hps, but at that moment he caught
alght of Col. d'Aguilar advancing, and
was discreetly ailent A quick glance,
an undecided bow, paased between them,
and they both moved on. When Mra.
Clayton returned to find Madame da St.
Geran, Col. d'Aguilar formed one of the
knot of men who atood talking with her.
They were obliged to apeak then; and
against her better Judgment, against her
own resolve, she went back to the ball
room on his arm. They were perfectly
discreet, their conversation waa aimply
auch that the merest acqualntancea might
have held; the danger waa In tha faact
nation the presence of each had for tha
other. She did not dance with him any
more than ahe did with Mr. Heatings; but
when she went home she reproached her
aelf bitterly for the time ahe bad apent In
hia society, while ahe never gava a sla
rl thourht to Errol Hastings.
It was three week, before Mr. Clayton
returned to Parla for hia wife, and dur
ing that time she met Uol. d Aguuar ai
mnat every day.
Fee wanted to do her duty wanted
with all her might. If Francla Clayton
had been a little kind and forbearing to
her. aha would never have .uffered
UlUt aUU Bin -- - .
but he pleaded an engagement at boma.
She Insisted, however, on
before departing, and to
Then and Now,
"When I waa courting
DUl UV pirauu ,
She insisted, however, on ma - , .ad-faced man. "we rere two
Reminder of Old Times.
wife," A rich man who has Joined th
multitude In New York since his quick
my
Tnv :z Hunch Ti. wh 7:- thougUt ' rit
ed. During lunin n.s , ab)ut m present writ
ber project, for the coming seaao I ' ,nlrf.itlv vouttj.
"I am about to appear iu a ."
ahe aald with a kind glance at Winifred; We still have but a single thought,
"that of chaperon. I am going to bring the proprietor of the sad vis-
out my adopted daughter, and I trait age ..We th think we made fools
ahe will not disappoint my eipectatlons. of our.elvel-..
Miss Eyre will, I dout noi, iur
thmisht even to be falae to him. But he
waa cruel, tyrannical and suspicious and
ami well! she almost hated him. Now
and then she would maka a great effort,
and atrive to be good and patient and
keep from quarreling with him, but ha
was so bearish and Ill-tempered that her
deaiira alwaya failed. She waa making
fresh resolves aa aha aat looking penalva-
lv Into tbe fire, on thla particular mora
In i. but all of a sudden ber thoughta were
most unexpectedly put to flight by tha
abrupt entrance of her husband.
"Francis!" aha exclaimed, rising and
kissing him,
"Yea. I auppoaa yon did not expect
me. What a wretched fire! I am almost
frozen, and the room la aa cold aa death,
ltinz the bell and order ma aom. luncn.
A terrible fear seised on Fee. If ha
waa angry and Jealous about Mr. Hast
ings, what would ha aay whea ha knew
that during hia absence ahe had been
constantly in the eoclety of Col. d'Agui
lar? She had never fully realised her
Imprudence until thia moment What
could ahe do? If ahe told him, he waa
certain to be very violent; if she conceal
ed it and he became aware of It the
consequencea might be terrible. "It ia
better to get it off my mind at once," she
determined. '
"Mr. Hastings wss here this morning,
dear. He came to wish me good-by."
"In anticipation of my return, I aup
pose." "Really, Francis, I have acarcely com
mon patience with yon. What a poor
opinion you must have of yourself to h
ao auspicious: Mr. Hastiugs la going
England on business, and CoL d'Aguilar
ia going with him."
"D'Aguilar!" cried Francla Clayton,
starting, "his he been here?"
"Yes."
"And yon have met him?"
"Yea."
"And spoken to him?"
"Yea."
"And danced with him?"
"I plead guilty to that also," answered
Fee. trvlne to sDeak gayly. She waa ac
customed to violent outbnrsta from her
frail tn Endon Vale,
Tn return to Flora Champion. - The
retribution which her conduct toward Mr.
Vane deserved had overtaken her. Ha
waa Lord Lancing now; hia fatter naa
been dead aix months, and ba waa aa
indifferent to her as aha had formerly
been to him. And, worse than all, their
positions wera reversed, and ahe waa In
love with him, to her own bitternesa and
mortification. Bhe tried Brat to win mm
back, and when that failed, aha strove,
with all her atrengtn of will, to master
her unrequitted attachment Lord Lan
cing never alighted her he waa far too
generous minded for that; he paid her the
same attention in pudiic mai ne usu al
ways done. But he never, aa long aa he
lived, uttered another word of love to her.
Ha waa kind and tender to ner, ror me
sake of olden tlmea, but a brave, gener
oua heart like, hia could never again love
a woman who had been capable of cold
ness and cruelty.
"I will marry!" Flora vowed to ner-
aelf. "and marry well. I shall never lova
any one but Evelyn, and De doea not care
for me now. If a man aa old aa my grand
father aaka ma to be hia wife, and be haa
rank and wealth. I will take bim. Surely
I have atlll beauty enough to buy lovet
and Flora Champion looked proudly Into
tha long mirror before which aba waa
atanding,
realize the fondest anticipations, aald
Mr. Hastings.
"Sir Clayton baa taken a -
Eaton Square for tha aeaaon, ana can-
United; "wa propose to comment
pylng it in a fortnight. I hope we shall
aee you constantly. Mr. Hastings.
"I shall be very glad," aaseuieu
"I propose to be in town a good deal,
and have taken a set of rooms In I leca-
dsfr Clayton's voice mada itself heard
at thla Juncture, almost for the first time.
Are you going uaen io uio u. -
afternoon. Hastlngar
Errol answered In tbe a airman". i
"Then Miss Eyre and I will bear yoo
company part of tbe way. We nave or
dered the horses for three o deck.
Winifred bit her lip wlttt vexauoo; auu
Mr. Hastings saw It, and would have ex
cused himself bad It been possible.
The horse, came round; be oa-erea v
mouut her.
"No, thank you," ahe said, coldly; I
like to be put up by some one wnose sm
I have tested."
She aeemed to delight In wounding him.
Klia kent Dersistcntly on the other aide
of Sir Clayton, and acarcely spoke. Pres
ently they came to a gate, rrom wmcn
the two top railings had been broken.
Tome. Winifred." aaid Sir Clayton,
"there ia a capital piece of practice for
vou." The groom had gone up to un-
fastea it. "Don t open it, .uasom uuU
ed the baronet "Miss Eyre is going to
Ipan It."
in.i Winifred Immediately put her
hr. at It and was over In a moment
"Does she sit well f Sir Uiayton oanea,
triumphantly, turning to bis companion,
iTamlit Erskine taught her to ride."
FIrrnl's reDly was less enthusiastic than
it would have been if the last sentence
had been unspoken. But, nevertheless,
he admired the graceful figure before
him verv ardently and genuinely. When
they parted. Sir Clayton pressed him to
diue there the following week. Before
be answered, he leoked at Winifred,
whose gaze waa fixed blankly iu tbe dis
tance. "I will make her love me!" he vowed.
Impatiently, and he accepted the Invita
tion. (To be continued.)
PORTUGUESE HOTEL CLOCKS
Their Irritating; Influence Upon Btran
cert Trylna to deep.
It is the fashion for Portuguese clocks
to strike the hour twice over. Heaven
only knows why, for certainly the peo
ple are not so keen about the profitable
use of their time that they require to be
reminded thus of Its flight. The habit
Is apt to be Irritating, especially In the
Fate of the Moderns.
1 -, Ml 1 1 - I -
Tommy, where do people go who
deceive their fellowmen?"
"To Europe."
From Had to Worse, t
Doctor Did those powders I gave
you have the desired effect?
Patient No; my insomnia is worse
than ever.
Doctor Is that so? i
Patient Yes; why, I can't even g
to sleep noW when It Is time to get up,
A Philosopher.
"Wouldn't you like to be able to
write a great novel?"
"And lose all my pleasure In reading
novels? I should say not!"
THE WORD FULLY EXPLAINED. I
Whan He Understood It, "Ba.ltmea"
Gave the Old Man a New Idea.
Back from the day's hard work In
the wheat field the discontented par-
lent sat down to Interview the young
man who was home from college In
quest of a brief vacation and more
cash.
"I do not comprehend the meaning
of many words which have appeared
In your letters," complained the par
ent "For instance, in your last letter
you wrote this: 'Financial besltses
are on the blink again.' I compre
hend 'the blink;' that Is what your
education Is on up to date, but 'be
sltzes' la beyond, me. Explain."
Tbe young man smiled a superior
GEO. P. CROVELL,
iRucceiior to E. L. Smith,
ubliihed Hoass in taevellsy.J
DEALER IN
fortune came to him was entertaining , -mile and gracefully lighted a tinted
Dry Goods, Groceries,
Boots and Shoes,
Hardware,
Flour and Feed, etc.
door to the hens?"
f-ima 't iiinnor tha other niirht The cigarette. He said
service was magnificent and so was "'Besltses' Is a new word in the lan
the dinner. The wife, gorgeously clad, 'guage and can be used as a substitute
reigned over the table. During a lull ror an tne otner worus-or. ramer.
I., .vveraatinn th rich man watched . Is a word which may be used to ex-
a servant who was dexterously remov-, press the universe In Its Infinite en-
lng crumbs from the table. Then he . tirety ana m minute aetau; auym.ua,
looked down the glistening table at and everything, separately or together
his Jeweled wife and remarked: 'besltzee.' Tbe purpose of besltzes
"Sadie, remember when you used to Is to relieve monotony , of diction In
. - . i 1 I r hn ntnoalna Vl A 111 f 11 f A
shake the tablecloth out or we dsvl-" .- "
inus uie reioruier win iinnm
against tbe 'besltzes' of political abuse;
historians will allude to the ancient
Roman 'besltzes of Julius Caesar; the
poet will sing the sweet 'besltzes' of
the springtide; even the parson will
There," said the maid of uncertain minister to the spiritual 'besltzes' of
his flock all tbe various entities in
literature, science, religion, and art
will be known as the Intellectual 'be
sltzes.' But that Is not all."
"You don't say!"
"'Besltzes' are also people and
things. For Instance, In your distin
guished person you represent my own
parental 'besltzes.' Ha! bar'
"Indeed!"
"And you are 'besltzes' In a general
sense."
"Am I?"
"You eat 'besltzes, drink 'besltzes.'
and encage In 'besltzes.' Merely 'be
sltzes' comprises all the 'besltzes;' and
It Is very odd 'besltzes' that you should
be the 'besltzes' under the remarkable
'besides!' Ha! ha!"
The young man laughed uproarious
ly, for he was tickled by the fun he
waa having with (be old man. Aa tbe
latter rose to answer tbe dinner bell
be remarked:
"You needn't go back to that college.
I don't believe you are Just cut out for
tbe classical 'besttzes.' You can re
port for more appropriate 'besltzes' In
tbe wheat field with tbe rest of us at
4 a. m. to-morrow." Kansas City Star.
He Waited for tha Finish.
"Before a man Is married," said the
humorous lecturer, "he is only half a
oo.a aa hn ii ii died her escort, "did
you hear that?" I
"And after marriage," continued the
lecturer, "he loses his identity entire
ly." "Yes," answered the escort afore
said, "I heard that"
Rlajna in the Window.
ne They say the eyes are the win
dows of tbe heart Now, when I look
at your eyes .
She I hope you notice the signs In
the windows.
He Signs? What signs?
ghe "No admittance except on buel
nee" Philadelphia Press.
Thla old-eatablisbed house will con
tinue to pay cash for all its goods; it
pays no rent; it employs a ciera, uus
does not have to divide1 with a partner.
All dividends are made with customers
in tbe way of reasonable prices.
Lumber
Wood,
Posts, Etc.
IT " '"
AIDING THE SELECTION.
Davenport Bros.
Lumber Co.
Have opened an office in Hood River.
Call and get prices and leave orders,
which will be promptly filled.
THE GLACIER
Published Every Thursday
$1.50 A YEAR.
CHAPTER XII
Winifred waa no longer unhappy. She
had not forgotten tbe old tie that had
beea aaapped ao rudely, but othera had
wound theaaaelvea round her. She had
two mothers now her dear old madams
and kind Lady Grace; each seemed to vie
with tha other in tenderness and care for
her.
It was a bright, treacherous morning
In early April, and ahe had Just coma In
from ber round of visits to tha conserva
tor and hothouses, laden with choice
flowera. Bhe laid them carefully on tha
long table by tha window, and proceeded
to maka selections. She was bendiag
over a cut cryatal vase, her handa filled
with delicate ferns, when the door was
thrown open and a servsnt announced
"Mr. Haetlnge." He was In the room be
fore she had time to torn. A quick thrill
of pleasure danced through ber veins,
then aha drew herself np into haughty
coldness memory and pride had com. to
her aid. Mr. Hastings waa certainly
neither baahful nor nervous, but on find
Ins himself thus alone with the girl whom
he had loved, ha felt s very pardonable
awkwardness. He chose to face It brave
ly, thouffh. He went quickly toward her.
ottering her name In a low voice. She
drew back a atep or two, and looked at
him with proud coldneaa. He atopped
suddenly, looked at her, and turacd away
deenlv mortified
"I will tell Lady Grace," Winifred aald,
ouletlv. and would have left the room.
I hut Mr. Haatinas confronted her,
"Do not ao yet," be exclaimed, listen
to me for a moment first Will yon never
fornive me? will you not. let me atoaa
to youT
"1 will never foraive you." ahe. cried.
tha nassionata tears welling Into her
eyea, and ahe awept past him and left
the room,
Mr. Heatings atamped with futile anger
on tha around.
How could I be auch a roalT" be mut-
11
ight, when your bed (like enough a
straw mattress aud a bran pillow)
chances to be near one of these mon.
sters, which rings Us four and twenty
strokes at midnight, with a pause be-
ween the dozens which merely stlmu
lates expectation. If there are five
clocks In the establishment, all with
sonorous works ' (and the supposition
Is reasonable), they will, -of course, dif
fer widely, so that twenty-four may be
trlklng with Intervals, during a mad
dening half-hour.
You may happen to want to know
badly which of the monsters Is the least
mendacious, and the bells at your bed
head communicate with two servants,
one a Gallego and the other a Porta
gese. In such a case ring for the
despised stranger without hesitation
He will be with you in a minute, fresh
and smiling, though half-naked, and.
If he distrusts his own Judgment about
the clocks, he will not mind saying so,
and will hasten to awaken the landlord
himself rather than that you should
remain In doubt I regret to add that
his more conceited fellow servant will
more probably say whatever first comes
to his tongue, more heedful of bis own
comfort than of your desires. Thus Is
the Installation of the Gallego waiter
In Portugal Justified, as that of the Gr
nian-fiwlss with us. Chambers' Jour
nal
tered between hia teeth. "I have lost a
husband, but the passionate violence he hope of thla girl, whom I would rather
gave way to on thia occasion surpassed nave tor my wu. u iu. fv
. i. ; n . h..i .... aritnMUKl I res la Europe."
said auch terrible thi.fa to her, Hia reflections were all .cut short by
Now there arose a quarrel among the little band of captives, who were
surrounded by the hungry cannibals. They were trying to induce some one
of their number to offer himself as a sacrifice.
"Let them take you," said one of the captives to another. "You are to
tough that they will break their teeth on you, and give the rest of ui a
chance to escape."
"Birr said the captive addressed. "You are very fresh, I must say."
"Take the fresh one," commanded the chief of the cannibals.
Her Specialty.
He (at the reception) And you
neither sing nor play?
She No.
He Then I suppose you either read
or paint?
She No; my specialty is giving imi
tations of the society young man.
He How's that?
She; I merely sit around and try to
took Intelligent ,
Not Going.
The Wandering Shade.
As I wandered down the street I no
ticed that the said street waa paved
with divers and many bowlders which
doubtless were the remslns of aome
ancient fortification. They were rough
and full of seams and ridges and val
leys, and I marveled greatly bew tbe
people of this otherwise progressive
modern city stood for It
Just then a passing vehicle caught
my fancy.
"Gadzooks and by dernr thought U
"but niethlnks I will have a ride; for
not since the days when we rode in
sedan chairs and upon joggly war
horses have I ridden save on tbe wings
of a thin mist
So I climbed upon the wagon and
smllea ;hostly smile of rare content
ment
"By castor and Jlng!" quoth L "but
this Is the real thing r
Just then, however, we struck another
of the bowldered places, and, alaa! my
spectral spine was driven Into my an
cient and honorable skull so thst I was
forced to fade away swiftly and reo.-ganlze.
For, by my balldom! nothing of tbe
days of yore was ever so soul-destroying
aa the things I snag upon In this
modern city. San Francisco Bulletin
Standing by tha Contract.
"When I went to work for you," pro
tested the salesman, "you said I might
stay here as long aa I liked."
"So you may," replied the merchant
But after next week your salary will
stop."
This Should Be Considered.
It's no business of the public's,
said the beautiful heiress, "whether
an American clrl chooses to buy an
automobile, a dog or an earl"
"Oh. but rou forget," replied the
man, "that we are in ine auiomoone
and dog business ourselves."
"No, Jlmmie, I am not going to Mag
tie Mulligan's party! The Mulligans
ain't In our set an' I don't like Mag-
gle, an I've got nuthln' to wear, an'
besldea I ain't been Invited, anyhow I"
Another Variation.
Ethel There. I've forgotten to at
tend a function to which I was invited.
How careless.
George You should have an engage
ment calendar.
Ethel Oh, George, this la so sudden,
Canaldarad aa Investment.
"Do you think your flying machine Is
safe?"
Safer exclaimed tbe Inventor. I
ahould aay sot Why. my lectures are
paying me 00 or 70 per cent on my
original Investment" Washington
Star.
Fanny Pnrt.
City Nephew Wouldn't It be funny,
Fncla Klcodemna. to Dull the Old
mule's tall?
Uncle Nick I can't say bout th'
funny part av It, but It 'ud be dinged
apt to be fataL Baltimore American.
Ralae Pay of Employee.
The New Zealand government is rale
lng the wages of Us railway employe
to tbe extent of 1100,000.
Tbe average savings bank deposit
this country Is more than (400; tn ai
European countries It Is bout 1100
Aet to Ba Charitable.
Tbe Impromptu speaker may be all
right rn hie way," aald Deacon Jo-vas,
"but aa for me, give me the minister
who writes his sermons every time.
"Why?" asked Deacon Smith.
"He Is more likely to realise their
length," was the significant reply.
Fopalar Fhraaa-a.
-What la a shan Intake of the
breath r
It generally precede! a rapid output
el talk,"
Friendly Tip.
Miss Screecber Papa Is thinking of
giving my voice a trial.
Mr. Bluntlelgh Well, I hope for
your sake he'll not select a Jury from
among your neighbors.
Not TJaad to Waiting.
Mrs. Wlckerby (to new girl) Eunice,
you will be expected, of course, to wait
on the table.
New Girl I've generally ett when
tbe rest of the fam'ly did, ma'am. .
Protected Herself.
"Why does Manners take his wife
with bim everywhere that he goes?"
So that he won't have to explain to
her where be has been If be leaves ber
at home."
As Othera Bee Ua.
"You always say tbe wrong thing at
the right time, Henry, said . Mrs.
Packem. "Now, I always think twice
before I speak."
'Yes, my dear," replied the meek and
lowly Henry, "but you are one of tboso
rapid-fire thinkers."
Too Strenuous Ufa.
well-dressed lad, the eon of
wealthy parents, recently decided It
would be quite manly to earn a few
coppers for himself by selling dally
papers. He stopped a tattered news
boy In the street, and aald to him:
I)o you think I should be able to
earn money as you ao it i Dougni
some papers and came to thla corner
to sell them?"
"Why do you want to sell papers?"
"I'm tired of being Idle."
"Well," said tbe philosophic little
newsboy, with a serious air, "d'ye
think you can bold thirty -six papers In
one band, Uck three or four boys big
ger un yerself with the other band,
while yer keeps two more off with yer
feet, and yells 'Evenin' News all tbe
timer
"No-o, I don't," replied the well
dressed boy.
"Then ye are no good hi the news
boy bis," replied the Uttered philoso
pher. "You'd better get yer people te
prentice yer to aomethln' lightr
Heated Olovea for MotorsnesL
Electrically heated gloves and shoes)
are proposed for motonnen.
Worships a Big Ra Doll.
Carrying In his arms a huge rag
doll, dressed In tbe clothing of bis
dead wife, "Jerry" Mooney, a farmer
living near tlie village of Montague,
Lewis county, N. Y., goes to his work
In the fields each day.
For fifteen years, ever since his wife,
Molly, died of paralysis, Mooney has
carried this dummy about with him
He refuses to believe bis wife Is dead.
After her burial he made a rag woman
and dressed It In his wife's clothes.
He often places the figure In the fav
orlte chair of bis wife and spends
long evenings before tbe fire talking
to It At meal time he draws the
chair containing the figure up to the
table and helps It to food. On Sundays
he dresses the figure In the best
clothes bis wife had at ber death, gets
out all of her Jewelry and places It
about the neck and on the hands of the
doll.
Week days when he goes to the field
tbe rag doll Is carried by bim and
placed under tbe shelter of a tree In
summer or In some protected spot In
cold weather. He always carries lunch
eon for himself and the doll and never
eats the latter's portion.
Mooney and his wife came from
Londonderry, In the north of Ireland,
In the early 'GO'S aud settled on
small farm. They were rigid Cove
nanters and, having no children, llv
ed by themselves. When bis wife
died in 1888, neighbors, not seeing ber
about, called at tbe house and found
her dead tn bed and ber husband sit
ting by tbe side of the body talking
to her.
Mooney will permit no one to enter
his house. Tbe existence of the rag
woman was dlBCOvef ed by persons wh
watched tbe house and saw bim car
rying tt back and forth from the fields,
On all other subjects Mooney Is ra
tlonal.
Age of Criminality.
With reference to New York's special
police court for childish offenders, tt
Is noteworthy that both British and
American law fit tbe same age of
criminality. In defiance of theology
the legal codes of all nations regard
man as sinless by birth. Before at-,
tatnlng a certain age he Is regarded as
Incapable of crime.
In England and America this age la
7 years, and before this a child can
not be prosecuted. After Us 7th birth
day a child Is accountable for Its deeds,
but If under 14 the prosecution must
show that be was acting with crim
inal Intent The same age of crimi
nality Is held In Russia and Portugal.
In France and Belgium a child must
be 8 years old before being prosecuted.
In Italy and Spain a further year of
grace la accorded.
In Norway, Greece, Austria, Den
mark, Holland and Switzerland, says
the London Chronicle, tbe age Is 10.
The little German can play pranks
with Immunity until 12 years old,
while In Sweden no posecuflon Is al
lowed when the offender ia under 16.
Advertising, 60 cents per Inch, single
column, per month; one-half inch or
lees, 25 cents. Reading notices, 6 cents
a line each insertion.
THE GLACIER prints all the local
news fit to print.
When you see it in THE GLACIER
you may know that others see it.
STEAMERS
REGULATOR
and
DALLES CITY
Between Portland and The Dalles daily
except Sunday.
Dailv round triD to Cascade Locks,
affording the visitors a fine opportunity
to view the scenery.
Leaves The Dalles 7 a. m. ; arrive at
Portland 4 p. m. '
Leave rortiand 7 a. m. ; arrive at ine
Dalles 5 p. m.
Leave Hood River, down, 8 :su a. m.
Arrive Hood River, up, 3 :30 p. m.
H. C. CAMPBELL,
General Manager.
till
AND
OREGON
Skot Line
Union Pacific
n. time SCHEDULES .,.,
Pa Porting. Of. a"t
Chicago Ealt Ue, Denver, 4:80 p. aa.
Portland Ft. Worth, Omaha,
Special Kansas Citr, St.
1 :20 a. m. Loult.t'hicagoanJ
via Kant.
Huntington. ,
At'sntto St. Paul Fast Mall. 10 :80 a. m,
Express
1:15 p.m.
via
BunUngton.
St. Paul Atlantic Kxpreas. T;Wa. tn.
Fait Mall
t;W p. m.
via
Spokane
1 ' 1
70 HOURS
PORTLAND TO CHICAGO
No Change of Cars.
Lowest Bates. Quickest Time.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
moat PORTLAND.
The Pleasant Way.
Tees Yes, Mr. Trotter was on my
card for one dance last night and I
enjoyed It very much.
Jess Nonsense! lie's as clumsy ss
an elephant.
Teaa I knew that, so I Induced bim
to sit It out Philadelphia Press. .
Comets Lighter Than Air.
Professor Bablnet baa proved that
comets. Instead of having a solid body
with a gaseous tall, are much lighter
In weight than our air. Even If a
comet were to strike the earth tt would
hardly penetrate Its atmosphere.
What Eagland'e Navy Coeta.
Tbe navy which gives England the
supremacy of the seas coats J 155,000,
ono a veer, or a little more than ttu
United States pays tn patulous.
ttp.av All salllnf date 1:00 p. at
subject to cbaug.
For Baa Francleo
tall .T.ry daja
Dally Cehnekla River 500 p.m.
Bi. Sunday ttaaanrs. tx. Sunday
t oo m.
Saturday To Astoria and Way
Hi:W p. at. Landing.
tta a Wllllaawtfe Sim. Hp. m.
Hon., Wed. Tues , Tha-
and Frk 8alem, Indepan- Sat.
dDO., Corrallls
and wajlaadlugi.
SO am. Va-am lltee. 4 x0 p.m.
Tn., Taur. Hon., Wad.
and Bat, Oregon City, Dayton aad tn.
ad way lauding!.
Lt. Klparla taste flier. Lv.L.a'litoa
4:06a. xa. t:wa.aa.
Dally ex wpt HI parla te Uwliton , Dstlr .xoaat
tauurday j Friday.
A. L. CRAIQ,
CeBeral Paaseaser A(.at, Portland. Of.
AV. St. BOAR, gt, Uaad Klvar.