-MBIPSaje-,
o
mi 1 1 1 1 1 m i n ' iimiwwumm""?
NLY A. FARMER'S
DAUGHTER.
3
3 r
By
MRS. FORRESTER.
CHAPTEH VII. (Continued.) ;
And Fenner, trembling and cringing
like a betaten spaniel, went quickly out
Errol returned to his writing table, and
commenced a letter to Winifred Kyre.
He had served her now; would she be
more disposed' to look leniently on nil
offense, and let her love conquer her wom
anly pride. "I will at least make the trial
before I go," he aaid to himself, and then
he took up his pen and wrote thus:
"I Inclose you a note. Miss Eyre, from
the man Fenner. You will ee by that
that he engages to discontinue hii an
noyance of you, and to leave you for the
future free and unmolested. And now,
v,-fno i Kn viand on my long voy
age, I pray of you to hear the appeal of
my heart to yours.' Winifred, I love you
with all my soul, with the truest, deep
eat strength of which passion la capable,
and I come to you to decide my future.
My happiness, my misery, are in your
hands. It la for you to seal my perfect
blits by consenting to become my cherish
d wife, or to punish a fault born of love,
and to condemn me to a lifelong sorrow,
by dt'ving me away from the sunshine of
your presence. Do not decide hastily. I
shall not leave this for a week, and If
your anawer is what I scarcely dare to
hope it will be, I shall not leave at all.
If you cannot find It In your gentle, wom
anly heart to forgive me, I shall go out
into the world and seek to forget the only
in th world I ever really loved.
When Winifred broke the seal, and read
Errol's letter, her first emotion was one
.f intnn.o relief. Then, reading the avow
al of Errol's love, for a moment her heart
.int.,1 tn him. and a sad, fond recollec
tion nf tbo hnndsome hero of her past
worship made the tears start into her
eyes. Then her quick pride came to the
rescue-she tore the letter io mums
threw them from her. "I will never for
give him never!" she cried, passionately;
and then she thought what that letter
would have been to her if it had come a
few days sooner.
It wanted but one day to the comple
tion of the week, when Arthur Le Mar
chant rushed into Errol's room.
"My dear Errol," he exclaimed, "what
Is this 1 hear about your leaving the
"I ) T. n.tfnlir io n it rnip!
VUIU II 1L BUiVV lOM'-i
"My dear fellow," said Errol gently,
"I cannot tell whether I am going or not.
You shall know to-morrow. I am wait
ing for my verdict, and if it is adverse to
me I shall go away, and try to forget my
trouble."
Two days after Errol said to Le Mar
chant:
"It's all over, and I'm going. Oon t
ask me any questions, old fellow I'm
hard hit."
Before Mr. Hastings left the Court he
made his friend promise to play host
there in the shooting season during his
absence; and on the last day of August
he was standing on the decs oi nis ueu'
i .t,n alr them both."
lLadr Grace assented, and Winifred
k.. . Mr nnwUri omenta very grace
fully. Then her guests departed, and she
was left alone, wondering very mum
hr bar! befallen her.
"A fortnight ago," aha thought, and
what baa happened yesterday and to-day
would have been the realisation of one
m fnnrleitt hones: and now now 1
seem to care nothing for It. To have
been recognised by the Champions, to
have been Invited to stay with a great
lady, to be Introduced Into society, would
have been a glimpse of paradise; and
now that I am wretched, and neart-Dron-
en, and uiisersoie, an iuvmm
thrust upon me, and I do not vaiue
one whit. I shall Ilka to be with that
dear, kind Lady Grace, but to the rest
I seem perfectly indifferent Are we never
to be happy In thia world, out to go o
longing keenly after something we think
happlnesa, and when we at last attain
to It, to And we have lost the desire for
It, and that It gives us no pleaaure?"
accommodating genius. Who was always
hPPT to repay hospitality by Tw0 of tB. ji.tw,, T.lk Two Day. to
himself agreeable, and amusing the com
P These were the people whom Mies' At Carter;, cross roads I came opon
Chiton found, assembled at Endon two native ,-n. .a on a
Vale and I think ner nrsi ku logauu uv nunc mcj
hin introduced to them was a alight ot tnein nad an old allver watch and
chagrin at finding no great people among tne otner 0WI1ed tne poor old mule
them. vi hitched to post They had come to-
Winifred had arrived at Endon aie, o t trad4 been
and was sitting In her room, dressed lor j
dinner, until Lady Orace snouia con.. - . ...
as
sta
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA-
RIOUS HUMORISTS
up, Jim, and If
no use to talk
ZlZU and Uke her down- off them "Id:
airs into the drawing room. j " uJ 2?
xi.. Ph.mninn h.d been prevented that dont nit yo It a
paying a visit to Lady Grace, as she had furder."
intended: but she. nevertheless, fulfilled i can't do It, Tom," replied the
her promise of sending winureo m u otner, -That there mewl u wutn iwo
carriage. I slch watches."
vvhpn the latter arrived she found her
T YX7Q iinrlr whan T returned And
kind hostess alone, all her guests being gat wme two men and
away on an excurs.ou, lu iu. tnod the .ame 0u maie. They were
CHAPTER VIII.
AH Lady Grace Farquhar'a guests bad
arrived, save one. That one was Wini
fred Eyre. On the morning of the day
on which she and her cousin were to have
appeared at Endon Vale, a letter came
to Lady Grace, saying that Madame de
Montolleu was seriously 111 with an at
tack of bronchitis, and that until she
was sufficiently recovered Winifred could
not leave ber.
Miss Champion, of course, arrived all
the same. and. If the truth must be told,
she was very well satisfied with what
had occurred. The Idea of driving over
to Endon Vale with her cousin had been
most distasteful to her; and now that ahe
was relieved from that unpleasant neces
sity she was radiant, and, as her broth'
er, who accompanied her, remarked, In a
moat unusually good temper.
The greater part of Lady Grace Far-
nuhar's auests were strangers to her.
Those she knew were Lord Harold Ers-
kins, Miss Alton, the Honorable Evelyn
Van and his sister. As the reader will
nasi some time In the company of the
visitors at Endon Vale, It may not be
superfluous to enter Into a few partlcu
lars concerning them. Lord Harold Ers
kine has already been mentioned; so we
will begin with Mr. Francis Clayton,
who from his couslnshlp to the host
claims priority of mention.
Francis Clayton was a man who would
have completely baffled the researches of
those estimable people who persistently
find good In everyone. There was not an
amiable trait In bis character, nor a kind
action of his on record; and yet he passed
muster In society, because he possessed
a certain degree of manner, and because
his income was a very large one. He was
not a man to charm women, and yet there
was many a one wno would nave Deen
too,i Thev had soent a pleasant aner-
noon together, and just aa the wheels of
the returning carriages were heard, Lady
Grace sent her young friend away te
dress, promising to call for her on her
way to the drawing room. This she did,
and when they entered the drawing room
there was no one in It but Lord Harold
Erskine, who came up immediately to be
Introduced.
"Harold," said his aunt, "I leave Miss
Eyre to your charge until dinner time, so
do your best to amuse her."
Lord Harold forthwith devoted nimsen
i being agreeable to his new acquaint
ance, and succeeded perfectly. She felt
quite at her ease, and chatted gayly to
him. Presently the door at tne runner
end of the room opened and a magnifi
cent young lady, attired In aweeplng lace
and silk, entered. The crimson color
Hushed into Winifred's eheeks as she
recognized her haughty cousin. Tbey
had never met since it had been agreed
the farmer's daughter was to be noticed,
"What will she do?" "wondered WInl
fred. "Will she speak to me, or will she
wait until Lady Grace Introduces us '
(To be continued.)
tlful yacht Oenone looking down into the c(mtent t0 ,gnor. uJt ,t(1 qmutie, gna
blue waters of the Mediterranean. Ills
thoughts were full of tenderness to the
woman who had scorned him.
"She is right," he said, "but I think, if
she had known how I loved her, she
would have found it in her heart to for
give me."
A fortnight later Lady Grace Farquhar,
take him for the sake ot his rent roll.
Francis Clayton was 87, and It was his
boast that be had never made any woman
an offer of marriage.
Miss Alton bad been at Endon Vale
some days, and was a great favorite with
everyone In the house. Her aunt, Lady
Marlon, was In Ireland, and as she was
not particularly attached to her prim old
by dint of subtle diplomacy, ? ' grandfather and grandmother, whom her
aecure what she had for somo time past .,ii- .h. hl hn
glad to accept Lady Grace's invitation to
set her heart upon, and that was to prac
tically adopt Winifred Eyre as her pro
teae. if not as a daughter. She was very
anxious that Winifred should have an
opportunity of being Introduced to so
ciety and the coming shooting season at
Bir Claxton's estate. Endon Vale seemed
to afford Lady Grace the opportunity.
Among those who would be present for
the shooting, her nephew, Lord Harold
Erskine, who was quite taken with Flora
Champion and whom she knew that
young lady, in default of becoming Mrs.
Hastings, would only too gladly accept.
With this trump card In her hand, Lady
Grace accepted a dinner invitation at
Hurst Manor, the home of the Cham
Dlons. and while there delicately, yet
plainly Insinuated to Sir Howard and to
Mrs. Champion that unless airs. inam-
plon and Flora would drive with her to
Mr. EyTe's farm and second her invita
tion to Winifred to come to Endon Vale
there would be no invitation for Miss
Champion. Moreover, Flora would have
to bind herself to treat her cousin with
t least ordinary courtesy during their
stay In the same house.
Sir Howard acceded readily enough to
this arrangement as long as he was not
obliged to speak to bis granddaughter,
whom he had never spoken to or even
seen in his life or In any way to recog
nlze her father. It was a bitter pill for
Mrs. Champion and Flora to swallow, but
the thought that It Flora did not go to
Endon Vale, Bir Harold Erskine might
possibly fall In love and propose to ini
fred, obliged them to give a grudging con
aent
' The young girl was gathering roses In
the garden as the carriage from the
Manor drove up the road. She turned
away to the house. She could net bear
the contemptuous looks the Champions
cast on her as they went by. But then
she heard the carriage stop, and she look
ed back in surprise. The footman was
letting down the steps, and Mrs. Cham
pion was descending, followed by Lady
Grace Farquhar. What could It meant
The blood rushed to her face, and for a
moment she hesitated. Then she went
forward.
"You did not expect visitors so early,
my dear?" said Lsdy Grace, kissing her.
"Mrs. Champion has come to call upon
you
Mrs. Champion came forward and
shook hands with her, and uttered a few
polite commonplaces, which put W Inl
fred at her ease. Bhe had a great deal
too much tact to allude to the past In-
deed, she behaved precisely as though sh
and Winifred saw and heard of each
other for the first time.
Winifred soon recovered her compos-
ore, and Invited them to enter the house.
Mrs. Champion was struck by t'-ie tasts
and elegance displayed in the miniature
drawing room, and while Winifred was
talking to Lady Grace, she examined
her keenly. She was forced to confess
to herself that this girl who had been so
long Ignored, and so much disdained, was
both elegant and pretty, and that her
style was unexceptionable. The convic
tion did not please ber at all. As they
were taking leave Lady Grace sald:
"Then remember, my dear, that next
Thursday week, at three o'clock, I ahau
send the can-lage for you.
"Pray do not think of such a thing,
, Lady Grace," Interposed Mrs. Champion
"too have Invited Flora the previous day
let ber delay ber visit for one day, wad
IS A RAINY-DAY FINANCIER.
A Bmall Bay Who Has aa Original
riaa for Earning Money.
"The small boy or ft least one small
boy hag found a new way of making
money," said a young woman the other
day who had made the discovery,
"Recently," she continued, I went
down town to do some shopping. When
I left the sun was shining brightly and
the skies were blue. Through the vag-
arles of our delightful New York cli
mate, when I got out at the 116th street
station on my way home It was raining
cats and dogs, or hailing cabs and om
nibuses, as you prefer. I was gathering
my skirts for a frantic rush when a
boy's voice accosted me.
Take you home cheap under an
umbrella, ludy? he inquired.
" 'How much?' I said.
"Where to?' he asked, promptly.
"'Ons Hundred and Nineteenth
street.'
"'Three blocks for 6 cents,' he re
sponded. We were off In a moment,
and I questioned him.
"'Yes'm; soon as school's out, when
talking trade as vigorously as ever
and as I rode away the man with the
watch was saying:
"It's even up or nothln', Jim; Jist as
I told yo' before."
"Tom, I can't do It can't possibly
do it" replied the other.
Along toward night next day I rode
over to the same store on an errand
for Mrs. Williams and there sat the
very same two men. I couldn't see
that they bad moved an Inch. Tbey
weren't saying a word, however. On
the contrary, both bad their legs
swinging over the edge of the plat
form, their chins In their hands ana
were looking down n the ground. I
saw the old mule lying dead on the
ground and between the two men lay
the watch. It had stoppea oeaa sun
and both hands were off the face.
Do tou know that your mule is
dead?" I asked the owner or tne ani
mal.
"Of co'se." be replied.
"And your old watch has gone to
wreck r I saia w tne uiuer.
"Yes, sah."
"Did von sit here all nlghtr
"We did." they answered In chorus
"But If the mule Is dead and the
watch busted you can't trade."
"Oh. that trade was off at midnight,'
oirl the owner of the watch, "and
what we are dlckerin about now
that yere saddle again my dawg."
"DIXIE" CHEERED EVERYWHERE
North No Lose Knthuslaetlo Thna the
Ranth on Hearing It.
"A singular thing about the tune of
'Dixie.' " said a Washington man wno
does a good deal of traveling, "is that
It arouses quite as much enthusiasm
when it is played above Mason and
m.'. iin far above that line, in
many instances-as it does when It
played down South. I have often no
ticed this and wondered over It. In
the Southern towns and cities, or even
In Washington, where Southern sen
timent predominates. It is the natural
thing for the cheers and the hand
clapping to begin when, for example,
a tneater orcoebira ,w ujuswv.
ET US ALL LAUGH.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring; the
World Over Boy Inge that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Young-Funny Selec
tion that You Will Enjoy.
"You seem to be enjoying unusually
good health," said the friend of the
family. "The lust time I was here you
were up against a severe attack of
dyspepsln."
That's right," replied the Jovial head
of the household. "I bunkoed the un
dertaker out of a Job, all right, all
right."
How did you manage It?" was the
friendly Interrogatory.
"I got hold of my wife's cookbook
and made a bonfire of It," was the sig
nificant reply.
Not Kvrn a Comparison.
La Moutt-Yes, 1 heard them dis
charging a 10-Inch gun the other day.
La Moyne You did not seem much
disturbed by the rumpus.
La Montt No, I heard my wife dis
charging the cook before I left home.
Paine Old Diet.
"How many meals do they have at
your boarding house?" asked the bosom
friend.
"One," replied the boarder, sadly.
"What meal Is that?"
"Oatmeal."
An Explanation.
Miles How did De Joues get to be
such a confirmed woman hater?
Giles Oh, he was a floorwalker In
a dry goods store for seven years.
Should B Encouraged.
"Suppose," said the beautiful girl,
gazing at the distant stars, "suppose
this old earth should stop revolving?"
"Not while we are together," he
whispered, slipping his arm around
her.
"And why not?"
"Because 'love makes the world go
round.' "
In the Wooly Weit
"Go In and tell the editor I am out
here with a horsewhip," cried the irate
citizen.
"He'll be very glad to bear It," re
plied the office boy. "He'll Just take It
away from you and sell it We had an
auction up here last week and sold a
dozen."
GEO. P. CROWELL,
iSucrenor te E. L. Fmlth,
iitabUshed Home la the valley J
DEALER IN
Dry Goods, Groceries,
Boots and Shoes,
Hardware,
Flour and Feed, etc.
Barayard Baparte.
Little Spring Chicken How do I
look?
Old Rooster-Fit to kllL
Generally Ooca.
, Silas So Zeke came back from col
lege with M. D. after bis name. What
does that mean? ."
Cyrus Medical doctor, of course,
Silas H'm! I thought maybe
meant "Many Debts."
The Conaplcuoua Medal.
The KviL
Mrs. A. I wish my husband would
shave himself.
Mrs. Z. Then you wish him to econ
omlze?
Mrs. A. No, It Is not economy. You
see when he goes down to the barber
shop he reads all them old Jokes In the
comic papers and springs them at
breakfast
Retort Courteous.
Husband (during the spat)
wouldn't be a fool If I were you.
Wife (calmly) My dear, I can read
lly understand that If you were me you
wouldn't be a fool.
rianist You see those small medals?
Well, I got those for playing the piano
when I was In Germany.
Chorus But the lurge one, Herr
Hair, how did you get that?
Planlst-Oh, that one, the people in
our flat gave me that for not playing
around home.
It rains, I get our umbrella and go over formers on a stage striae up
to the elevated station and take 'em of 'Dixie,' but precisely the same thing
home, three blocks for 6 cents for one happens in the Northern cities. An or
person. When they's two together, I ' chestra never gets Into the swing of
walk behind in the rain and let 'em , 'Dixie' in a New York theater that
carry the umbrella 'emselves. Oh, yes, ' the audience doesn't almost come to its
I generally make about 25 cents at reg- feet They cheer 'Dixie' vociferously
ular pay from the ladies, but always every time it is played In San Fran
more If it don't look like rain early In cisco. They yell in approval of it In
the afternoon and the rain comes sud- Detroit and St Paul, and Cincinnati,
spend a month with her. Marlon, or
ee Alton, as ber fond aunt bad chris
tened ber, was the prettiest, sprlghtllest
little coquet in the world. Her mother
and Lady Marlon were twin alsters, and
the former having formed an attachment
for a handsome young captain In the army
whom her father would not hear of ran
with him, and subsequently accom
panied him to India with his regiment,
where ahe died. Two year after, her
andsome young husband caught a fever,
which carried him off in less than a week,
and then their two children were aent to
England. The elder, a boy, died on the
passage home, and the little girl was
received with open arms by her aunt as
precious charge from her dearly belov
ed sister.
Lady Marlon was by this time married
to a baronet of considerable wealth, but
she bad no children; and when Sir Mar-
niaduke Alton died, ten years after their
marriage, the title went to a younger
brother. He was, however, able to leave
ber a handsome income for her life, and
Lady Marion Alton lived In very good
tyle. She was devoted to her niece, who
she Insisted should take her name; and
to prevent any Inconvenience from their
both having the same Christian name
Lady Marlon rechnstened her pretty lit
tle niece Fee, and a very appropriate
name it was.
At the time we write Fee Alton was
18, and Just through her first season. She
was small, but perfectly symmetrical; It
waa only envy that prompted people to
say sometimes she was nothing but an
animated wax doll. Everyone admired
and liked ber, and ahe liked everyone In
return. She was the life and soul of a
nartv. with her quick wit and keen sense
of the ridiculous, and sne was a urtie
malicious sometimes It waa Impossible to
be angry with ber, she was always ao
eager to atone for it
As opposite frequently attract eacn
other, she was at the present time engag
ed In a desperate flirtation with Col.
Ivers d'Aguilar, a tall, dark, melancholy
looking man (albeit decidedly handsome)
who was very much In love with her. tie
had been all through the Indian war, and
on his return to England, looking very
thin and worn, be was made quite a hero
of by all the women, and looked his part
extremely wcU.
I suppose that If two men from the op
posite poles bad been brought together
under one roof, they could lot have dif
fered more eeeentlally than Col. d Agul
lar and Mr. Clayton. One was generous
In heart and mu.d, chivalrous to women,
Irresolute, diffident tn himself, and with
the courage of a lion; the other well, we
already know what Francis Clayton was.
And yet theee two men bad something In
common a sentiment which In one was
tender, chivalrous affection; la the other
a base, selfish passion. This sentiment
was love of Fee Alton. For the first
absolutely the first time In bis life, Mr,
Clayton was, aa be confessed to himself,
in lovar-confonndedly la love with a prat
ty, little, malicious, teasing, impertinent
fairy, a ad could not help himself.
Lady Grace's guests included Mr.
Frale, a connection ot ber husband's, who
had recently come Into a very good living,
but bad strong sporting tendencies; Cap
iat Cnlloden, of the Guards, a very plain,
auiet Individual, with a good income and
considerably Ues brains; aad the Mon
orabl John Flaldea, a aalversal and most
den.
" 'I could make more If I bad rub
bers with me, but ladles' feet Is such
different sizes I'd have to carry a whole
store to fit 'em. No, 25 cents Isn't a
great deal, but it's money for a 10-year
kid.
" 'And then, you know, a good many
of the ladles pays me extra. There was
lady before you, a few minutes, that
gave me a quarter. You look so much
like ber I'd almost think you was her.
A quarter? Oh, thank you, thank you
very much, ma'am.'
"Yes, It s h paying scheme," said the
young woman, according to the New
York Times. "That chap is tne sort"
she went on, "who'll grow Into a penni
less young man, persuade some clever
heiress to marry him, and then make
people say they wonder how he ever
happened to bind himself to such a
MAXIM I ft IS SAFE TO HANDLE.
and In Chicago they hum It along
with the band or orchestra. Even
in chilly Boston they wake up and
give a hand to 'Dixie. It's a lively
nd Inspiring tune, of course, but I
don't think that fact exactly explains
why It is that It arouses enthusiasm
In communities in the North, where a
Southerner would scarcely even expect
to hear it played, much less cheered.
Maybe it's because there's a lingering
love all over the country for the old
South, and maybe It Is because there
Is a pretty general and wholesome
sentiment all over the land for the
section that came out of the big fight
a good deal like the under dog; but,
at any rate, 'Dixie's the tune that gets
the biggest hand and .the wildest ae-
claim, no matter where it's played,
from Michigan to the Gulf, and from
the Atlantic to the PaclflC'-Washing-
ton Post
Vulcanized Timber.
A considerable amount of Interest
says Scientific American, has been
aroused by the announcement as the
result of a prolonged series of experi
ments, of a method of so treating tim
ber as to secure even from soft wood
a largely Increased toughness and
hardness. The process is described as
one of vulcanizing, comparable in some
respects with Bessemer's process of
converting iron into steel, and Is the
invention of Mr. Powell, a Liverpool
merchant The treatment to which the
timber is subjected Is, roughly speak
ing, that of saturation at boiling point
with a solution of sugar, the water be
ing afterward evaporated at a high
temperature. The result Is to leave
the pores and interstices of the wood
filled in with solid matter, and the
timber vulcanized, preserved and sea
soned. The nature of moderately soft
wood, it is claimed, is in this way
changed to a tough and hard sub
stance, without brlttleness, and also
without any tendency to split or crack.
It is also rendered remarkably imper-
Hard wood similarly
They Wanted Her to Go.
"Yes, daughter is going abroad to
continue her studies in singing."
"Indeed?"
"Yes. Everybody In our flat con
tributed to a fund to send her to Ber
lin. They were all so kind. They
wanted ber to go as soon as possible
and some of them said they'd be glad
to send her still farther. And when
asked them If they wouldn't miss her
voice they admitted that they would
for a time. And then they quickly add
ed that of course this mustn't stand in
the way of her going. And old Mr.
Bascomb said, In his serious voice:
What Is our gain Is Berlin's loss.' Of
course he meant it the other way. He's
so funny." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
It Will Not Explode from Ignition
Ineenaitive to Shock.
Hudson Maxim, tha lnventorof "Max
imize," which has recently been adopt
ed by the United States Government,
gives a clear account of his remark
able Invention in Frank Leslie's Popu
lar Monthly.
Maxlmlte," he says, "which has re
cently been adopted by the Govern
ment, has satisfactorily stood every test
to which it has been subjected, and
there is none of the foregoing require
ments which it does not fulfill perfect
ly. It Is very inexpensive of manu
facture; has a fusion point below the
temperature of boiling water; cannot
be exploded from Ignition, and, indeed,
cannot be heated hot enough to explode,
for it will boil away like water without
exploding. It is, therefore, perfectly
safe to melt over an open flre for fill
ing projectiles, in the same manner that
asphalt 1 melted in a street caldron.
Should tha material by any chance
catch flre, It would simply burn away
like asphalt without exploding. When Ti0us to water.
caat into shells it rmt only solidifies treated derives similar benefits. More-
Into a dense, hard, incompressible mass over, it is claimed that the process
on cooling, but It expands and sets bard may be completed and timber turned
upon the walls of tha projectile, like
sulphur. That la to say, it expands in
the same way as water does in freezing.
-When a shell filled with it strikes
armor plate, the Maxlmlte does not
shift a particle, and it is so Insensltlv
that it not only stands) the shock ot
penetration of the thickest armor plate
which the shell itself can go through,
but tt will not explode, even if the p;-o-Jectlle
breaks up on the plate."
Another View of It-
She A well-known writer says that
In order to succeed a man must be 05
per cent backbone.
He Oh, I don't know. A good many
who have managed to arrive are 05 per
cent cheek.
Taklnar It Out on tha Family.
Mrs. Ferguson George, what partlc
ular falling of yours did the preacher
touch on in his sermon this morn
ing?
Mr. Ferguson-What do you ask me
that question for?
Mrs. Ferguson Because you have
been as cross as a bear ever since you
came borne from church.
This old-established house will con
tinue to pay cash lor all its goods; it
pays no rent; it employs a ciera, uu
does not have to divide with a partner.
All dividends are made with customers
in tha way of reasonable prices.
Lumber
Wood,
Posts, Etc.
Davenport Bros.
Lumber Co.
Have opened an office in Hood River.
Call and get prices and leava orders,
which will be promptly hlled.
THE GLACIER
Published Every Thursday
$1.50 A YEAR.
Advertising, 50 cents per inch, single
column, per month; one-half inch or
less, 25 cants. Reading notices, Scents
line each insertion.
THE GLACIER prints all the local
news fit to print.
When you see it in THE GLACIER
you may know that others see it.
Beady Wit.
Conldn't Do Worse.
"Young man," said the stern father,
'do you think you are In a position to
support my daughter In the style to
which she has been accustoinea I
Sure thing," replied the knowing
youth. "Why, only last weeK sne re
fused to accompany me to the tneater
because she had nothing to wear.
,"1
Her Flret Impression.
"What Is that number on his auto
mobile?"
"Why, Jennie, that is the number of
the machine."
"Indeed! I thought It was the num
ber of people he bad run down."
He Knew.
BInks (a coal dealer) I'm getting
awfully heavy.
Jinks (an iceman)-You don't look It
I guess you've been weighing yourself
on your own scales.
Heroic Bo jr.
Mamma (returning-from a shopping
expedition down town) What on earth
has happened, Willie? Has the house
been on flre?
Willie Nome. Them Bunker boys
dared me to ride the goat around the
parlor and up and down the stairs, and
I won't take a dare from nobody I
STEAMERS
REGULATOR
and
DALLES CITY
Between Portland and The Dalles daily
except Sunday.
Dailv round trip to Cascade Locks,
affording the visitors a fine opportunity
to view the scenery.
Leaves The Dalles 7 a. m. ; arrive at
Portland 4 p. m.
Leave Portland 7 a. m. J arrive at ins
Dalles 5 p. m.
Leave Hood River, down, 8 :du a. m.
Arrive Hood River, up, 3 :30 p. m.
H. C. CAMPBKLL,
General Manager.
In the Glooming.
They were sitting all alone on the old
rustic porch.
The young man was very bashful.
"Don't you know," be said. Anally,
more to break the monotony than any
thing else, "some people are mean
enough to think I am a freak?"
"Well," replied the pretty girl, with
a yawn, "I think you are something of
an 'armless wonder myself."
He took the bint.
Mrs. Haytop Hiram, what Is a gilt
edged Investment?
Haytop Wal, I guess as how It's a
gold brick, Mandy.
ProgreeaiTe.
Giles By the way, what became of
that fellow Sklnnem who waa In the
coal business here last winter?
Miles Oh, he sold out about a month
Unb'ased Criticism.
"What do you think I ought to get
for this painting?" asked the very
young artist
"Well, replied the matter-of-fact
friend, "I think any Judge would be
Justified In giving you at least six
months."
Make. Oood.
"Isn't Jlmpson a young-looking man
hi acrat He'a 2. and ha doesn't
ago and went to Arizona. Last 1 heard a day oyer
of him he was m jau ior ..And gometlmes. when you hear him
stage coach. ... talk, you'd think he wasn't a day
Ulies in oiner wurun, ut "' I ,., t
from a llgnt weignman io a m-uuj-
out ready for use in a few days.
Forgot Nothing-.
Btyle.
"And have you seen your little baby
brother yet?" inquired the caller.
"Yes," replied little Ethel Blugore,
"and I was so disappointed In If
"Whyr
"Because it doesn't look a bit more
stylish than the ons our washwoman's
gat" Philadelphia rress.
The most perfect echo la the world
Is said to be that at 6hlpley, In Sussex.
South England. It will repeat twenty
one syllables.
Too much stylt Is apt to produce that
attired feeling.
m6
Waiter Hem er haven't yon for-
rotten something?
Farmer Barns Oh, no, I guess not
I've et everything clean up.
Fitness of her part matters little to
the up-to-date actress If tht Ot of her
gowns Is perfect
When two women talk the subject of
their conversation la conspicuous!
absent
man.
Ae It Bhoald Be.
Husband (during the spat) Ob, well.
a man Is supposed to tell a few lies
when be Is doing a courtship stunt
Wife Yes, I suppose so; but Its up
to him to reform after he gets mar
ried.
To Fumigate at Sea.
Plans have been presented by the
general manager of the Mexican-American
Steamship Co. to the surgeon-gen
era! of the public health and marine
hospital service which provide for the
establishment of a floating fumigating
plant tha time required for fumlgat
Ing vessels while In transit being de
ducted from the Ave days they are re-
Natnral Bappoeitioa.
Ross." said the old man, "I know I uired to remain In quarantine before
you are engaged to that young lady ing allowed to come up to the city
and call on ber every night"
"What of that?" asked the youth In
the Ingrown bat
"Well, er would you mind giving me
all the cigars that get broken in yonr
vest pocket?" '
' Belle's Garden. .
Now In our little garden plot
Belle digs and planta with Joy; I wot
It will not tire me much to boa
For most seeds don't corns up, you
know.
Preliminary atepa.
Ping What is the Am thing to do
In learning to run an automobile?
Pona-The flrst thing is to get your
life Insured and tha second is to have I for you, but you bava none who will
a obese bask roll for repairs. break bs your shoe.
of New Orleans.' The adoption of the
scheme would. It is asserted, greatly
facilitate the intercourse between New
Orleans and Central and South Amer
ican ports. This is of particular con
sequence Just now since the Chinese
Commercial Co. has adopted a abort
route to New Orleans by steamers sail
ing to Manzanlllo, inatead of to San
Francisco, at heretofore. New York
Medical Journal.
People would be more willing to take
their whipping if tha fact could
concealed that they were getting one.
You may hare a friend who will die
Viio sLijro Ik
Oregon
Shoit Line
AND Union Pacific
. TIKE SCHEDULES AtTI
PlfAT Perilled, Or.
Chicago BaH Lake, Denver, 4:30 p.m.
Portland Ft. Worth, Ooiahi,
Bpecltl Kansas Cilj, St.
1:20 a. m. Louli.ChlcagoauJ
Tie ta.U
Bunting-ton. ;
At'antle Bt. Paul Fast Mall. 10 :80 a. m.
Knpreas
;1J p.m.
via
HunUnfton.
St. Paul Atlantic Express. 7.35a.m.
rait Mall
SlOO p. m.
via
Spokane
70 HOURS
PORTLAND TO CHICAGO
No Change of Cars.
Lowest Betes. Quickest Time.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
raoa poitTLANu.
tiO a.m. All talllnr dates 6:00 . at,
subject to eliauge
Per Ban Frenclnco
Sail erjr t days
Dally Cehratkle Rivet 6 00 p.m.
El. Bunder Steaners. Ex.buudat'
1:00 a.m.
f aturdar Te Astoria and War
It.UU p. as. Lauding.
S ite a. Wlllaavstte tint. S SO p. m.
Hon., Wed. Tuei.Thu.,
andFrL Balem, lodepen. bat.
. denee, t orvallli
and way landings.
1 :0S a m. TaaikHt alter. i SO p. m.
In., Thur. Hon., wd,
aad Sat, Oregon City, Dayton and Fru
aad way landiugs.
L. Rlnerle Saake llrar. LT.Taa-lstoa
4:0a.m. uu a. m.
Daily eieept Rlparla to Lewlslon Dallr eioept
features j frlday.
A. L. CRAIG,
Ceneral Paaseager Agent, Portland, Oe.
A. K. BOAB, t teat, Haaa Blear.
O