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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 26, 1902)
. . . . .. , i - ,,n .-miTnin.iwTiin mi iBimiwiiiiinnii i iiiwijwikii rtw ii i iii ii i IM,?"rT""""''''' " 1 'mmmmmmmKmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I llll I . I . I J I b, wild VSTUDYIN SCARLET BY A. CONAtf DOYLE. PART II Chapter L--Continued, i "Cocks and hens," cried the' little girl, gleefully; pointing at their Ill omened forms, and clapping her hands to make them rise. "Say, did God make this country?" "In course he did," said her com panion, rawer startled by this unex pected question. . "He made the country down in Illi nois, and He made the Missouri," the little girl continued. "I guess some body else made the country In .these parts. It's not nearly so well done. Tbey forgot the water and the trees." "What would ye think of offering up prayer?" the man asked diffidently. "It ain't night yet," she answered. "It don't matter. It ain't quit regu lar, but He won't mind that, you bet! You say over them ones that you used to say every night Jn the wagon when we was on the plains." v "Why don't you say gome yourself?" the child asked, with wondering eyes. "I disremember them." ho answered, "I hain't said none since I was half the height o' that gun. I guess it' never too. late. You say them out, and I'll stand bv and come In on the choruses "Then vou'll need to kneel down, and me, too," she said, lalng the shawl out for that purpose. "You've got to put your hands up like this. It makes you feel kind of good." It was a strange sight,, bad there been anything but the buzzards to see it. Side by side on the narrow shawl knelt the two wanderers the little, prattling child and the reckless, hard ened adventurer, them t. " ? Km'irfoniv hlii follower saw him throw up Uis hands, as though over come with astonishment, ana on joiit ine him thev were affected in the same way by the sight which met their eye- . . . - . . . . . ' On the little plateau wnicn crowus,u the barren hill there stood a single giant bowlder, and against this bowl der there lay a tall man, long bearded and hard featured, but of an excessive thinness.. - - " t His placid face and regular breath ing showed that he was fast asleep. BeBide him lay a little child, with her -white awns encircling his brown, olnpwv neck, and her goluen-Dairea head resting upon the breast of his velveteea tunic,, . , Her rosy lips were parted, snowing the regular line of snow white teetn within, and a playful smile piayea over her Infantile features. Her nlumn little white legs, ler.mi- natlne in white socks and neat shoes with shining buckles, onerea a avrnuso contrast to the long, shriveled mem- hera nf her companion. ... . rn th ledee of rock above this Btranrn roiiDle there stood three sol emn buzzards, who, at the sight of the newcomers, uttered raucous screams of disappointment and flapped sullenly The cries of the foul birds awoke h. tin aleeners. who stared about fimm In hwilrlrment. " - Tha man ntagrzered to his feet and looked down upon the plain which had been so desolate when sleep naa over taken him, and which was now trav ersed by this enormous body of men Her chubby face and his haggard unDiilti. irlaaoa wora linth tlirnftd lin tO an1 henRtfl. the cloudless heaven in heartfelt en- His face assumed an expression of treaty to that dread being with whom incridulity as he gazed, and he in funs while the two I Ma hnnv hand OVfif his eV6S. voices the one thin and clear, the "This Is what they call delirium, I rhoi r non and tin rah nnlrpd In the omoaa " ho muttered. entreaty for mercy and forgiveness. The child stood beside him holding The prayer finished, they resumed 0n to the skirt of his coat, and said their seat in the shadow of the bow nothing, but looked all around her with der until the child fell asleep, nestling the wondering, questioning gaze nnr (ho lirnnrl hrpant nf her Protect- rhllririnnrl. or. The rescuing party were speedily He watched over her slumber for able to convince the two castaways nma timi hut Mntnrn nroved to be that tholr annearance was no delusion too strong for him. One of them seized the little girl, thrcn rtava and three nieht he I nnrl hnlateH her UDOn hU Shoulder, had allowed himself neither rest nor while two others supported her gaunt Immrain nn and assisted mm iuwbiu ainwlv tho ovpll.la drnnned over the tha wncrnna. oa nj tha honrt Bunk lower "Mir nnmo la John Ferrler." the wan- and lower'uDon the breast, until the derer explained: "ine and that little tiibA heard wa mixed with him ar all that's left o' twenty-three th ,Min irmaoa nf hia rfimnnnlan. nnnnla The rest is all dead o' thirst anri hnth alent. the same deep and and huneer away down in. the south.' ri-oamioaa ainmhar. , "la aha vour child?" asked some one, Had the wanderer remained awake -f guess she is now!" the other anrthi half hour a at ranee sight ,. riaflant.lv: "ijhe's mine cause I would have met his eyes. saved her. No man will take her Pm. owav nn the extreme veree of L wot from me. She's "Lucy Ferrler h alkali niain there rose ud a little from thla dav on. Who are you .nroo nf rtnat verv aliehr. at first, and thnnph?" he continued, glancing with hr,iiv tn ho rilRtneuiRhed from the mirinsltv at his stalwart, sunburned mlata of the distance, but gradually rescuers: "there seems to be a power- rmwlna- hiirrier and broader until It I fni Int. f ve." fnrmd a aolld. well-defined cloud.-;. "Nich UDon ten thousand," Bald one This cloud continued to increase In Lf the young men? "we are the perse ia until it became evident that it M,ted children of God the chosen of could only be raised by a great multl tnde of moving creatures. In more fertile spots the observer would have come to the conclusion that one of those great herds of bisons which graze upon the prairie land was with tho rolca of Joseph Bmlt U th.e voice of Clod." CHAPTER IL This is not tne place to commemor ate the trials and privations endured by the immigrant Mormons before they cume to their final haven. From the shores of the Mississippi to the, western slopes of the Kocny mountains they had struggled on with a constancy almost unparalleled in his tory. The savage man and the savage beast, hunger, thirst, fatigue and dis ease every Impediment which Nature could place in the way had all been overcome with Anglo-Saxon tenacity. Yet the long journey and the accum ulated terrors had shaken the hearts of the stoutest among them. There was not one who did not sinK upon his knees in nearueir, prayer when they saw tne oroaa vauey oi Utah bathed in the. sunlight beneath them, and learned from the lips of their leader that this was the promised land, and that these virgin acres were to he theirs for evermore. Young speedily proved himself to be a skillful administrator as well as a resolute chief. Maps were drawn and charts pre pared, in which the future city was akptr-hnd nut. All around farms were apportioned and allotted in proportion to the stand ing of each Individual. The tradesman was put to his trade and the artisan to his calling. In the town streets and squares sprang up as If hv made. In the country there was draining and hedging, planting and clearing, until the next Summer saw the Whole country golden with the. wheat crop, Everything prospered In the strange settlement. Above all, the great temple which they had erected in the center of tha Mtv crew ever taller and larger. From the nrst Diusn oi aawn unin the closing of the twilight, the clatter of the hammer and the rasp oi tne saw was never absent from the monu ment which the immigrants erected to Him who had led them safe through mnnv dangers. ThA two castaways, John Ferrler and the little girt who had shared his fortune and had been adopted as nis danehter. accompanied the Mormons to the end of their great pilgrimage. Little Lucy Ferrler was norne aiong nleasantly enough in Elder Stanger- son's wagon, a retreat which she ahared with the Mormon's three wives and with his son. a headstrong, for ward hov of twelve. Having rallied, witn tne elasticity ot childhood, from the shock caused Dy her mother's death, she soon became net with the women, and reconciled herself to this new life In her moving canvas-covered home. WATERY BOULEVARD SUCH WILL BE UNCLE SAM'S IN- TEROCEANIC CANAL. Highway for Bhlpa AcroM ranama Will Be Lighted by Electricity from One End to the Other of Ita Forty- three Blilea of Length. The Taiiama canal, when it Is finish edand its ultimate completion is at last un assured fact-will be much like great street or boulevard, 1.10 feet wide and brilliantly lighted from one end to the other by electricity at night. This watery avenue will be perfectly straight throughout for more than half of its entire length and will extend over a distance' of about forty-three miles, connecting the Atlantic with the aclfic ocean. ., Already the canal Is two-fifths dug. thn an eel Merona." I never heard tell on mm," aaia we wandnmr. "Ha anoears to nave chosen a fair crowd of ye." Do not lost at that which is sa- ... . . , . , i i.. nnrH ntA r red.' said tne otner.sieruiy. mo bid annrnachlnz him. of those who believe in those Bacreo This was obviously . lmpossime in writings, drawn in .gypuan it-ueio these arid wilds. .As the whirl of dust. 0n plates ot beaten gold..whicn were drew nearer to the solitary biun upon handed unto the holy Josepn ssnutn, at whlrh the two castaway were repos- Palmvra. We have come from Kau- lng the canvas-covered tilts of wagons V00i j the State of Illinois, where we and the fieures of armed norsemen De- have founded our tempie. we nave gan to show up through the haze, and come to seek refuge from the violent tho annarltlon revealed itseir as oeing man and from me gouiess, even a great caravan upon its journey lor though it be in the neart oi tne aes the West. ert." nut what a caravan! When the head The name .Nauvoo evidently re of it had reached the base of the moun- called recollections to John Ferrier tains the rear was not yet visible on thn horizon. Right across the enormous plain stretched the straggling array, wagons and carts, men on horseback, and men nn foot. Innumerable women who "I see," he said, "you are the Mor mons. 'We are the Mormons, answered his companions, with one voice. "And where are you goingT "We do not know. The hand of God ataeeered along under burdens, and u leadinz us under the person of Our children who toddled nesme tne wag- nroohet. You must come oerore nun on or peeped out from under the white He shall say what is to be done with coverines. von Thla waa evidently no ordinary party Thev had reached the case or tne of immigrants, but rather some nomad hill by this time, and were surrounded people who had been compelled by crowds of the pilgrims paie-iacen through stress of circumstances to meek-looking women. . strong, laugh seek a new country. in children, and anx'ous, earnest- There rose through the clear air a ved men. confused clattering and rumbling from Many were the cries of astonish this sreat mass of humanity, with the ment and of commiseration which creaklne of wheels and the neighing arose from them when they perceived horses. the vouth of one of the strangers and Loud as It was, it was not sufficient the destitution of the other. to rouse the two tired wayfarers above Their escort did not halt, however, them. but pushed on, followed -by a great At the head of the colttmn there rode crowd of Mormons, until they reaenpd a score or more of grave, iron-faced a wagon which was conspicuous for its men clad m somDre namespun gar- great size and lor tne gauainess, miu ments and armed with rltles. smartness of Its appearance, On reaching the base of the bluff Six horses weae yoked to it, where they halted and held a short council as the others were furnished with two among themselves. or, at most, four apiece. "Tha wells ,are to tne right, my Bpsida the driver there sat a man brothers." said one a hard-lipped, who could not have been more tuan clean-shaven man with grizzly hair. thirty years of age, but whose massive "To the right of the Sierra Blanco so we shall reach the Rio Grande, said another. ."Fear not for water," cried a third. head and resolute expression marked him as a leader. He was reading a brown backed vol urne, but as' the crowd approached he "He who could draw It from the rocks laid It aside, and listened attentively to will not now abandon His own chosen an account of the episode, neonle." ' Then he turned to the two casta "Amen! Amen!" responded the warn whole party. " "If we take you wun us." he said in They were about to resume their I solemn words. "It can only be as be- loumev when one of the youngest and llevers In our solemn creed. We shall keenest-eyed, uttered an exclamation have no wolves in our fold Better fa and pointed up at the rugged crag that your bones should bleach in thl above the.m. wildernesa than that you should prov ' From its summit there fluttered a lit-1 to be that little speck of decay which tie wisp of pink, showing up hard and la time corrupts the whole fruit. Will bright against the gray rocks behind, you come with us on these terms!' At the sight there was a general "Guess I'll come with-you on any reining up of horses and unslinging terms." said Ferrier. with auch em of guns, while fresh horsemen came nhasis that the grave elders could not galloping up to reinforce the vanguard, restrain a amile. The leader alone re- The Up. word "Redskins" was on every "There can't be any "number of In dians here." said the elderly man, who appeared to be in command. "We have passed the Pawnees, and there are no other tribes until we cross the great mountains.1 "Shall I go forward and see. Brother Stangerson?" aiked one of the band. "And I," "and I," cried a doxen voices. "Leave your horses below and will wait you, here," the elder an swered. In a moment the young fellows had dismounted, fastened their horses, and were ascending the precipitous slope which led up to the obJict which had etcited their curiosity. taiaed Tils stern. Impressive expres sion. Take him. Brother Stangerson," he said give him food, and'drlnk, and the child likewise. Let It he your task also to teach him our holy creed We have delayed tong -enough. For ward! On on to Zion. On on to Zion!" cried the crowd of Mormons, and the words rippled down the long caravan, passing fro mouth to mouth until they died away in a dull murmur In the far distance, With a cracking of whips and a creaking of wheels the great wagon got Into motion, and soon the wnoie caravan was. winding along once more. The elder to whose care the two waifs had been committed led them to (To he continued.) CONTENDINQ FOR A PRINCIPLE. (Jood Example of the Quibbles That Pro vail In Legal Practice. An English writer gives a good ex ample of those quibbles in legal prac- ice that have a sort oi lascination tor certain minds. Some years ago, while traveling on the continent, he met the principal lawyer for the government ot one of the pnncipalities, wno told mm of a curious legal question, it liao rei ernee to a railway station at the boun dary between two principalities. . Someone standing outside tne window of the ticket office had put his hand throuah and robbed the till inside, The boundary line lay between where the thief stood and the till, so that he waa actually in one territory while the crime was committed in another. Here was a nice nut for the gentlemen learned in the law to crack. Which of the principalities should undertake the nroseeutioa of the criminal I - A t It they went in good earnest, ana the arguments on either side were long and vehement, till the whole case was embalmed in many volumes. At last one side yielded so far as to say: "We will permit you, as an act of courtesy, to prosecute, while at the same time reserving all our sovereign riirhts." At this point oi the recital 1 asked And how did the prosecution end?" "Ah! That is quite another matter, paid mv friend. "There was no prose cution; we were only arranging what we should do when we caught the rob ber: but we never caught him." Youths Companion. ! wV km mi AST .f" iBv..J-t..fr. DK1DGE3 IN THE CANAL. To. complete It will require fifteen years and an expenditure of $145,000, 000 in money. An army of at least 15, 000 laborers will be employed on the job, most of them being fetched for the purpose from Jamaica, uuder con tract. When the ditch is completed, however, it will become a lnrge source of revenue to Uncle Sam, inasmuch as he will charge $1 for every ton of ship ping that goes through from ocean to ocean, it win nor oe an excessive price, inasmuch as the regular toil for passing 'the Suez canal is $2 a ton. The first Idea of the great French engineer, De Lesseps, wns to dig a sea level canal across the isthmus, just as a small boy might cut a ditch between two ponds. But it became apparent wuters, This dam will transform tha Chagres Into a vajst hike, the bound' arios of which have been accurately established and which will extend thir teen miles to Oblnpo, where the canal leaves'the river, covering an area of moro than twenty-one square miles. .The capacity of the dum will be some thing like 200,000,000 cubic yards. Another dam will be built at Alha Juela, on the upper Chagres, nine miles from the canal, of concrete masonry, forming a reservoir with a surface area of ten square miles and a capacity of 130,000,000 cubic wards. It will not only help to store the flood waters of the Chagres In the wet season, but will do some very useful work. , Act ing as a feeder to the summit level of the canal. It will supply thereat ditch with water In the dry season, through the medium of an aqueduct, and will furnish hydraulic power for operating the huge locks. The locks will be worked by electricity obtained from this water power, and by the same means the canal will be illuminated throughout Its entire length with elec tric lights. - In this way the Chagres will be transformed from an element of dan ger into a useful friend and helper. No trouble Is feared from volcanoes, Inas much as there are none within 200 miles. The harbors at Colon and Pan ama are excellent, and need no further excavation or protection, though ba sins will be built at each end of the canal for the convenient Ingress and egress of ships. Each of these basins will be 150 yards wide and 1,000 yards long, and will be provided with moor lug facilities and wharves connected wilh the terminal stations of the Tan ama Railroad. The railroad runs along side of the big ditch clear across the Isthmus, greatly facilitating the work For much of Its length the banks of the canal will be faced with masonry. The canal when finished will accom modate merchantmen and war vessels of the largest size, and the time of transit from ocean to ocean will be less than a day. The benefits It will bring to the commerce of the world will be, of course, Incalculable. COMRADESHIP IN THE SENATE, Repartee that Bervea the Purpose of a Crosa-Examination, It may be heretical to say it, but the debates both In the Senate and House ':::.vX;i?J-!:: :s.' v-. a5fiwi; .-.-..'-"." Spiffs PACIFIC END OF UNCLE SAM'S GREAT WATERY BOULEVARD. later on that such a plan would not be feasible, for two reasons. A mountain chain, which Is a continuation of the great Cordilleran system, runs along the middle of the Isthmus, and to cut through it down to the level of the ocean would be a most laborious and costly task. Also, the Chagres River, which is addicted to periodic floods, would cause no end of trouble. Accordingly the canal was carried over the mountain range, turougu a eotivenlent pass, and arrangements were made for locks, in which, by fill ing them with water, vessels passing through will be lifted to the necessary elevation. It was a simple matter onoiigh, only eight locks In nil being ' ir- - IN T1IK lNTEHIOR. Fearful Cold of Siberia. There are still many drawbacks to travel on the great Siberian railway but one of the greatest is thediscomfort to which third-class passengers, enpeci y native Chinese, are subjected The paHt winter was unusually severe yet the roiling stock is so inadequate that the Chinese ride in open freight r -w 1 . 1 cars, in January ano j-eoruary, wnen the thermometer registered from SO to 40 degrees below the freezing point, the Chi lie-e sat in crowds on tiie frozen trucks and frequently froze to death On one torrible night in February 15 Chinese perished and about 150 others suffered terribly from frost bites and exposure. The Trapplsts. Many letters come to the monastery announcing the death of relatives of the monks; thene are seen' by the abbot only, and at chapter he may simply an nounce: Ihe mother of one of our number is dead ; let us pray for ber soul. Never to his dying day does the be reaved Trappist learn that be was pray ing for his own mother. The Money of Babylon. The great and ancient empires of Afxyna and Babylonia adhered for ages to primitive blocks of copper and in gots of gold and silver and did not, therefore, have an imperial coinage. They pognesned a system of banking, however, which was complete and well developed. Dangerous Medicine. Certain medicines including cincho na salts, salicylic acid, mercury, tobac co, alcohol, carbonic oxide, lead, chlo roform and ether have been report ed apecially dangerous to hearing and liable to cause deafness. They advanced rapidly and noiseless. bis wagon, where a meal was already ly, with the confidence and dexterity of awaiting them. practiced scouts. "You shall remain here." he said. The watchers from the plain below "i a few days you will havf recover could see them flit from rock to rork d from your fatigue. In the mean- until their fig ires stood out against time remember that now and forever the sky line. Vhe young man who had too . are of our religion. Brlgham first $lre t. alarm as leading Young has said It and he has spoken Pineapple Juice, The best lubricant for the organs of the throat is pineapple jui ft. It is said that people living in countries where the cone shaped fruit is grown never suffer from bronchial affections. required. If It be understood that the profile of the great ditch presents in Its middle part a high summit, from which it slopes gradually toward the sea on either siiie with four locks on each slope., the Idea will be perfectly dear. Now, the canal Is already practically finished and navigable for nearly thir teen miles from the Atlantic end and fur five and a half miles from the Pa cific end. Thus one may start In a boat from Colon, on the east side of the isthmus, and travel comfortably by water for more than a dozen miles. The next fifteen miles are partly dug. with some den cuts, such as 131 feet at Boliio, 82 feet at San Tablo and 08 feet at Motachln. At the twenty eighth mile rises the mountain range, which is the .most serious obstacle to the undertaking. Advantage is taken, however, of a convenient pass, as above explained, and. much of the remaining difficulty has already been removed by cuts, one of which has taken out a long slice of rock 164 feet In depth. At the thirty- third mile the slope toward the Pacific begins, and for the rest or the way the canal Is not very far from comple tion.. It extends out Into the Pacific ocean for a little over three miles, be cause the water was not deep enough near shore and a channel had to be dredged. . Half of the entire length of the canal fifteen miles on the Atlantic side ah seven and a half miles on the Pacific side-will be at sea level. The rest pf the trip will be by slopes up which and down which It will be necessary to "boost" and lower ships by the help of the locks. Each lock will be twlus- that Is to say, a pair of basins of con crete masonry for holding the vessels while the water level is raised or low ered to give them the step required up or down. Thanks to the skill of the en glneers. the highest bottom level of ,the cat al will be only 6S feet above the ocean. For a considerable part of Its length the canal runs through the valley of the Chagres River a stream which, though small In the dry season. Is sub Jeot to sudden and tremendous fresh- Hence means must be provided seem to partake of the nature of cross examination of effort to trip a speak er while he Is courageously trying to furnish material for the Congressional Record. The taunting repartee may seem rather rude, even Insulting, but It serves a good purpose In bringing oat, in a face to face contrast, qll phases of the question under consider ation. . For Instnuce, Senator Allison is speaking, and Senator Tillman raises a point. ' A colleague of the speaker, say Senator Aldrich, quietly goes over to the South Carolinian's desk, and points out a reierenee or whispers a supplemental explanation which may or may not be satisfactory, according to the mid of Tillman's head. Senator Quay sits with his hands folded, quiet ly watching the proceedings, with his inevitable motion to adjourn. It may be that Senator Penrose, with one hand in, his pocket, Is trying to push a matter through, and if so. Quay hs nists him with the whispered explana tion. There is something charming in this spirit of comradery between Senators interested Jointly In a measure. When Senator,. Frye talks on the shipping bill, Senator Ilanna is one of the inter ested auditors and assists In clearing up points as the speech progresses. It Is easy to observe from the faces of the Senators or members whether or not they are connected with the matter under discussion, and the friendly courtesy of attention, and hand grasp and the Initiation of an encouraging ripple of applause, when the speech is concluded, are bits of human fellow ship that salve the sting of wounds inflicted in partisan struggle. Joe Mit chell Chappie In the National. Abnormal Development. Recently a Paris psychologist an nounced that he had conclusively proved that malformation of the brain produces Intellectual brilliancy. The theory Is that deformity, disease or ac cident causes the abnormal develop ment of some part of the brain, and the , result is genius. Iu support of this j several cases are mentioned. It Is In Chicago. "Will you marry me." "What! again!" Judge. The Trust Principle. It Is easier to rob a million of men of a dollar eacb than to rob one man of a million. Life. , Mrs. Jones "I always think twice before I speak once, sir!" Mr. Jones (sighing) "Exactly, Maria but you're such a quick thinker!" Puck. Mistress (to newly-engaged cook) And now, what shall we call you?" Cook "Well, mum, me name Is Her tha, jut me friends all calls me Birdie." Swapping confidences: May "I hear Belle had a great talk with Harry out on the beach," Clara-"l should say she did. Why, even her tongue is sun burned." Ex. ilaste necessary: Assistant (in men agerie) "Sir, It rains!" . Keeper "Good heavens! Don't waste a min ute, but take In that zebra. His color runs "-Tld-Blts. If the people who can't write had the brains of those who can, and those who can had the skill of those who can't, what a glorious literature we would soon have. Ex. Mrs. Hiram Offeu "What made you leave your Inst place?" The 'Cook Lady " 'TIs insultln' ye are, ma'am. Nothin could ever make ine l'ave, ma'am. Oi go whin OI plazcs." Philadelphia Press. Lieutenant "Don't you know enough to salute your superior officer?" New Sentry "I did, sir." Lieutenant "I failed to see you." Sentry "I said, 'Hello, there! but 1 guess you didn't hear me." Kltty-"D'ye r'aly love me, Dlnny? Denny "Do 01 love ye? Faith, Kit tv. Ol'd do annythlng to live wld ye the rlst av me lolfe, aven If OI knowed 'twould kill me this minute." I'niia dclphla Press. Mrs. Benhaiu "It's hard on the peo ple of Greenland to have nights- six months long." Benham "Yes. Just think of the sufferings of the poor man whose wife's mother drops In to spend the eveuIng."-Uazar, Casey "Did ye go ovter t' see Kel ly lasht noight?" Costlgan-"OI did not. Afther Oi'd walked two-thirds av th' way Oi was too tired t' go a sntep further, so 01 turned round an' walked back home again." Judge. Brother, don't you know if you swear at those mules ypu won't get to Paradise?" "Yes, pawson; but if don't swear at them I won't get to the eud of the row, nnd that's the Impor tant thing at present." Philadelphia Record, "Yes, count, in all the park there is no ulace I like so well as under this old, old tree. (Sighing sentimentally., "There are tender associations, you see." "Aha! 1 comprehend, mam'selle, You have yourself planted the tree!1 Punch. His choice Jury: Lawyer Brief- see that case of yours is on. Jury drawn yet?" Lawyer Skinner "Yes, and it's a splendid one." Lawyer Brief "Above the average In lutein-B-encp. eh?" Lawyer Skinner "No way below It."-Plillnde!phla Press, Mrs. Doolan "Only think, Mrs. Gro gan, that great Planipounder has prac ticed so har-rd at the plunny for the lasht six months that he has paruloysed two fingers." Mrs. Grogan "Begorrah, that's nothing, Mrs. Doolan. Me daugh ter, Mary Ann, has practiced so hard for the lasht six months that she s par- aloyzed two pinnules." Excited Fisherman (to country hotel keener) "There isn't a bit of fishing about here! Every brook has a aig warning people off. What do you mean by luring anglers here with the prom Ise of fine fishing?" Hotel Keeper didn't say anything about fine fishing. lf vou read my advertisement careful ly, you w 111 see that what I said was 'Fishing uuappronchabie. i "Archibald, dear." his wife said. arousing him "In the dead of night, "I wish you would walk baby a little while. lie's going to w ake up." "How can I do that, Luelnda?" expostu'ated the sleepy husband. You know I've got the ping-pong ankle." "Then put him In his cradle and rock him a while, "I can't do that, cither. I've got the golf shoulder." Boston Courier. The blood of the soldier: "I suppose, colonel," said the beautiful grass widow, "that there ofteu are moments when you wish you were again on the battle-field, thrilled by the roar and fired by the excitement of war." "Yes, he answered, looking around eagerly for an avenue of escape, aud seein none, "even now the old feeling comes back to me." Chicago Record-Herald. An aDiireclation: A man went with hla wife to visit her physician. Tli doctor placed a thermometer in wnuu'i mouth. After two or tbr minutes, lust as the physician w about to remove the Instrument, man, who was not used to such a pro- EO. P. GROWELL, HnecewoMo K. I.. Smith, 01det EswblUhi-d llue iu llm vulley.J DEALER IN rv Goods, Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Hardware, lour and Feed, etc. Tl.i. nld-oBtnlilished house wiil con tinue to pav cash for all its goods; it tiava no rent: it employs a clerk, but does not have to divide with a partner. 11 dividends are made with customers the way of reasonable prices. Lumber Wood, Posts, Etc. Davenport Bros. Lumber Co. Have opened an office in Hood River. Call and get prices and leave orders, hich will be promptly filled. Regulator Line STEAMERS Regulator and Dalles City Between The Dalles and Portland Daily Except Sunday. nnlntn nt that ftltrtn Ma " l r lie Loaf while he was blind. m1 It ' l0D8eu B'raI - . - ! rf 1,1a Ufa a nnrrnnr anlil' la ..,1.1 l,nf tha hlliwlnoc. ,.. 1 1,1. UUl I ....... I . - , , , , tor. what will you take for that thing, a manner that made It possible for him to evolve the great epic. Cases of a somewhat different nature ' -Tlt-Blts. Floor-walking: Head floorwalker (severely) "1 heaid you tell the lady ret shown In the elegant writings of ! ' woM Rni lhe r'b,)0.ns at the tlllrJ ThAmi. A Oniric .nit s,0i T.in. counter to tue leu. .ew noor wa hraiim er-"iuai Coleridg, both of whom had In Which the excessive use of opium ; had made havoc. De Qulncy describes his horrible experience with opium, taken In the form of laudanum lu his "Confessions of an English Op!nm Eat er." Byron's club foot Is seriously ad vanced as the cause of bis lyric pow er, and the point is made that Sir Wal ter Scott's most brilliant work was dic tated from a sick bed. Mozart and Wagner both had deformed brains, said to have been due to disease and bumps while they were children. Answers. Leave Dalles 7 A. M. Arrive Portland 4 P- M- Leave Portland 7A.M. Arrive Dalles 51. M. Leave Hood River (down) at 8 :30 A. M. Arrive Hood River (up) at 3:30 P.M. W. C ALLAWAY, General Agent. White Collar Line ortland-Astoria Route Str. "BAILEY GATZERT." Daily round trips except Bundar. TIME CAKU. Leave. Portland 7:00 A. M Leave. Astoria 7:00 P. M Through Portland connection with Steamer Kahcotta from llwaco and lng Beach point.. White Collar Line ticket, interchangeable wilh O. K. fc N. Co. and V. T. Co. ticket.. TheDalles-Portland Route STEAMERS "TAHOMA" and "METLAKO" Dally trip, except Bunday. Str. "TAHOMA." Leave. Portl.nd, Mon., Wed., Frl 7:00 A. M Leave. Tha Pallet, Tue.., Thurt. Bat, 7:00 A. It Str. "METLAKO." Leave. Portland, Tnen., Thu Sat 7:00 A. M. Leave. The Dalle. Mon., Wed., Trl 7:U0 A. M. Landing and office: Foot Alder Street. Both phone. Main 361. Portland, Oregon. AGENTS. JOHN M. FILLOCKN Tha Dalle., Or A. J. TAYLOR, - - Aitoria, Or 1. LUCKEY ..Hood River, Or WOLFOHD ft WYER9 White Salmon, Wash C. WYATT Vancouver, viautt R. B. GILBRKTH Lyle. Wash JOHN M. TOTTON Bteven.on, Vt ali HKNKY Ol.MSIEK I arson, vva.u VM. BUTLER Butler, Wash E.W. CRICHTON, Portland, Oregon vHP&I OREGON S..QPJ Line the the and union Pacific Chicago ' 8U Lake, Denver, 4:30 p.m. Portland Ft. W orth.Oiim.in, Special Kansas City, .St. 9-.UU a. m. l.ouis.Chicagoun I via tal. Huntington. At antic 'valla Walla Li ir!.- 8:10a.m. Express ton,Kpoiiftite,Miti S:M) p.m. neapoli., St. I'mil, via Dnlotli. Miluan- Huntington. aee.t'Micano.v.l-.asi i i : St. Paul Fait Lake, Denver, 7:00a.m. Fast Mail Ft. Wortli.Omnha, 6:16 p. m. . Kama. City, Ht. via lxuis,CAicagoand Spokane LaaU OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE rttOM rORTLAN t. IM) p.m. American Floor In Far Kant. American flour Is Increasing lu popn laritT In Manchuria. Lettuce. The mineral salts contained ia ietv ln, ita refresh In IT. rnfilino nrrmrtiM . etS. and its easy digestion make it moet 1 t0 Pwt 't from causing destruction, wholesome addition to the more solid dam wlu bullt ecori1 foods. - lugly st Bohio for storing ths flood When a firmer comet to town on cir rus day, and the parade doesn't su't bim he 'hitches up ind goes home. 'TIow little sn unmarried nun knows ebcut dressmakers! Tha lucky dot where they are." II floor-walker "Ym; hut you should have told her to go to the right past the. necktie liarpiln-couuter, tnru to t'.ie left pnst the stocking bargain-counter, then three counters to the right past the shirt-waist uiargaiu counter, and no on. You'll never make a 11 ,or walker!" Juilge. All sailing Htei subject to change For San Franci-eo -bail every 4 laya 4:00 p. A Peculiar Name. "What niake jou tall jour nmlo ring roiigT It 'mimts me of de happy tlaya w Ucn I was workln' fob some o' dent select gem men nt de. club," answered Mr. Krastus Pliikley. "When Is dr'.vin' dat mule I has to talk to til in Jca about de same as dem gi-nimeii was play do gane." Washington Stiir. I'le.wnl Thought!.. The pleasanteat lbiiii.'i in the world are ple.nt thought. Ki tt is the highest wisdom to have n ui.iuy of them as possible. Dally Fx. Himday :UiD.m. Saturday Mj.ou p. Cam Men., Wed. audFri. C.lux.l. RI.er lltamtrt. To A.torla and Way Lauding.. WIHaaett Slrtr. Water permitting. Orefou City, New bera. fcalein, linle pemience, Corval- lit, ai Inia. and W ay l.aud 4 00 p. m. Kj. Sunday 4:M p. m. Hi. Suaday 1:00 am. To. , Thur. and Sat. Lv. Ri.aria 4:06 a. m Willamette an. Yan- kill liwi Water permittlnf. Orraon city, lay too . A W ay lo J- IllfV Snak River. t:90 p. to. Mod., Wad. and Fru Lv.Leirlstoa 7.00 a. m. Daily-eicept Riparla to Lewi.ton Daily aieept Monday, i I Monday. A. L. CRAIQ, Central Paaaeofer Aent. Portland. Or. SOIR, Jr. Ha Rlvw.