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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View This Issue
HERR STEllARDT'S NEMESIS
BY J. MACLAREN COBBAN.
CHAPTER I Continued.
"Ah," be said to me, "so you've
come to try end enlighten our Hotten
tot about a thing or two in tliii world
and the next. Weil, you can only do
your beit, you know; we'll try to make
you . comfortable and back you up.
Come all the way from London today,
I euppore; have yon got yourself fixed
up vet in the village? what snme
author chap Matthew or Mark Bum
mat or other calls a 'Lancashire
Hell-hole. Well, we're not quite to
bad as that yet here, but we're getting
to it. But it can't be helped, you
know; we ha gone forrard and weniun
go forrarder, as the rabbit aid when
be let th' weasel get bim into a hole.
Yes, 'Hell-hole;' but it should be
oseful change for you ; it may give yon
n idea when you want to describe to
your congregation the real"
"Jim, lad," interrupted his sister,
"you're forgetting youreell?"
"Eh? Oh? ah, well I can remem
ber, you know, when all round about
here was as sweet and pretty a place I
was born back o' th' White Moss" (in
dicating that locality over bis shoul
der), "Ioppleton way."
Thus the full, quaint and careless
stream of his talk flowed on, meander
ing about one person and another, this
subject and that. He seemed a well of
curious and fearsome Lancashire lore
lore of the days when spinning and
weaving were done in the cottage homes
of remote hamlets and homesteads,
when Lancashire energy applied itfelf
to useful work and not to useless toil,
when its fabrics were made to be worn
and not merely to be sold the days
when the steam engine was not yet
with its all-devouring, all-enslaving ma
cbinerv. We had talked thus for at out an hour
or, rather, listened to Mr. Birley
talk when be paused and looked round
(he had been fidiceting in bis chair for
"What's got "Manule?" he said, ad
dressing his sister. "Is he stuck till
midnight in his laboratory again?
Doesn't seem as if that smoke was to
come off tonight. In Paul's house now
it used to be 'Smoke where you ple:ue'
drawing room or anywhere. Poor
I was astonished and alarmed to see
Miss Lacioix rise hurriedly, and glide
without a word from the room. Mrs.
r-teinhardt made as if site would follow
her. but she did not. She sank back
in tier chair with a sigh.
"Jim! Jim!" she exclaimed, t
proachfully.. "Why will you say
things, when you know the poor girl
cannot bear allusions to it?
"Ah." said Birley. humbly. "Poor
lass! Her father," he explained, turn
ing to me, "has never come back from
London. Poor Paul!" He was visibly
"He had to go to the law courts
there." said Mrs. Steinhardt, "more
than a year ago, about some dreadful
buhinesg of the chemical works he was
my husband's partner."
"Hildercheimer v. Lacriix and Stein
bardt" (Frank turned on the music
stool to correct his uncle's pronnncia
tion.) "Well," said he, "that's all
right; anyway that was the case
May be turning again to me "you
remember it in the papers. It was
about the infringement of a chemical
patent 'Manuel had put them up to in
his eternal laboratory.
"Nay, uncle," interrupted Frank
flushing up. "It wasnt' father's fault
more than anyone else's."
"Ay, lad," said Birley, "or course
you know all about it. But you're
right to stand up for your father. How
ever, Paul, as the chief of the firm
went up to London to fight the case; he
fought and lost to the tune of 20,000
pounds damages which, I suppose
drove him mad, poor fellow, for he's
never come back made away with
himself, very likely, or, somehow, got
made away with."
"But, surely," interrupted Frank
again, "it could hardly be the damages
did it, uncle? You remember he went
to Paris after the trial about some pat
tern business for the print works, and
then got back to London again."
"Ay, lad out 20,000 pounds dam
ages can mnke a man feel very queer all
the way to Paris and back. At any
rate, poor Paul's gone -lost in the great
London wilderness. '
"It is a very extraordinary affair,'
said I. cut 1 dont remember seeing
anything of it in the papers."
"It got into the papers, though,'
said Birley, "to some extent not
much. We didn't want a noise about
a private, painful thing like that,."
"But," said I, wondering, "I sup
pope inquiries were made?"
" They made inquiries high and low,'
said Birley; "they laid detectives on
and everything, but nothing came of it
Did there, Frank?"
"No," said Frank "nothing at all
"Did vou try to trace him out of Lon
don?" I asked. "I suppose they did,'
"Yes oh yes," said Frank.
I wondered that Birley should keep
using the word "they." Had he borne
no share in the investigation himself?
I had my thought antwered at once.
"I wasn't able to go to London my
self,'' said Birley; "I was laid up with
a broken leg; and, when I got better, I
didn't think it was any use my going.
There wairan end of Paul that was
certain ; for he wasn't the man to knock
under like, and get lost just."
In a little while Miss Lacroii re
turned, with apology for her with
drawal. "I bad a little of headache." said she.
I now saw more clearly the encroach
ments which grief, and whut I cannot
describe by other words than "anxious
waiting," had made on a young li'e
which would, nnopprewed, I was sure,
have been so full of spirit and mirth.
I longed there and then with an earnest
desire that I might do something to
brighten ber life, to remove the weight
of uncertainty and grief which burdened
it, and preyed upon it.
But I had little further opportunity
for talk with her that night. In a few
minutes Mr. Steinhardt returned. We
heard then what were the causalties re
sulting from the falling of the bell
tower. A horse had been killed, as,
also, had been a sow with her litter:
and two pigs bad been so injured that
the butcher had to be summoned. We
were now invited into the smoking
room; but Mr. Birley rose, and said he
must be going; he would smoke his
pipe on the way home "wi' th' parson
"Parson smokes, I suppose?" said
be, laving his hand on my shoulder.
Po he and I departed together. The
valley was asleep under a white pall of
" fog; but the weird tongues of flame
still flickered on the slope a-d ridge
behind and beyond ns(from ci te oven,
any companion explaiueJ), ulJ the tall
chimneys dreamily and intermittently
smoked. The great chimney of the
chemical works, however, emitted not
so much smoke as a thin pinkish vapor,
which stole away imperceptibly over
the neighborhood to poison all green
things, and to filter through the cracks
and crevices of doors and windows, to
trouble sleepers with lethargy and head
"By George!" exclaimed my compan
ion. "He'll get fined again some day.
Paul used to be always at bim about it.
fc'o ended my first evening in Timper-
ley a memorable evening for me. I
had made the acquaintance of one
whom I have reason now to call as dear
friend as I have ever known, and as
eood a man as fortune has ever ne
glected, and of another who- is now the
dearest of all earth's creatures to me.
I frequently looked in upon the
ladies at Timperley Hall, and took a
four-o'clock cup of tea with them (not,
however, to the neglect of other, if less
pleasant, parochial visitations). Dur
ing these visits we talked without tliat
constraint which somehow Mr. Stein-
hardt's presence imposed upon us.
Miss Lacroix and I agreed in our opin
ions concerning the ruthlessness with
which Lancashire pushed on its indus
trial way: we often astonished poor
Mrs. Steinhardt (sometimes even our
selves) by the warmth with which we
would discuss the outrage done to man
One afternoon we talked thus. . It
was well on in springtime; the stream
was running full and all nature, in
spite of drawbacks, was striving to look
green.- I told them how that morning
I had stood by the little plank bridge
just below Timperley Hall, look-rig
across at the dreadfully lumbered little
peninsula on which the ruined spinning
mill stood, when theie turned up at my
elbow an old man whom I knew by
tight as an ex-handloom weaver.
A fine brook, that, parson," he
Yes," said I, suiting my reply to
what I thought his persiflage; "what a
pitv no trout teem to know of it!
"Ah. but." said he, sadly, "there
were trout in'itwonst; though there's
been none for mony a day. Trout!
Aw defy onything to live in that, bout
gettin' cured firtt, like a red herrin' or
a tallymatider! There was a lad
drowned like as it might be this spring,
and he were never found till like as it
might be next back end. down theer in
that mud; he were not gone at all, hut
he were cured thro and thro ; black,
This I told ; and - then I continued
"Drowning, they say, is an easy death';
but to drown in such a stream as that
seems horribly repulsive. I fancy no
one would care tocommit suicide in it."
I perceived my stupid blunder as
soon as I bad spoken; I bad not
thought that what I said could betaken
as "allusive" to the disappearance of
"Excuse me," said Miss Lacroix, ris
ing hurriedly, "I do not feel very well.
Do not come, Mrs. Steinhardt; I shall
get better by myself."
I of course made apology to Airs.
Steinhardt for my stupidity.
Yes, said she; "you see she can t
bear any kind of allusion to her
father's end. She told me soon after
she came here (she couldn't, you know,
go on living in that big house up there
all by herself) she told me a strange
dream she had once or twice when her
father was missing the strangest thing,
but I scolded her eo, she has never said
another word to me about it. Still I
fancy she thinks a great deal about her
father, though she does not say much;
they were rare and fond o' one another,
That very evening I unexpectedly
learned from Miss Lacroix herself what
that strange dream was. I was return
ing bv moonlight from the house of
parishioner along that same road which
first brought me upon the valley. Pass
ing the pond on my right (which I be
fore mentioned as reflecting the lighted
windows of the many storeyed mill), I
observed a figure, cloaked and hooded
standing on the margin of the pond
under one of the trees. I paused
minute, while my heart beat with ap
prehension, and then I passed through
a gap In - the fence and approached
The figure turned quickly, as if impa
tient at the intrusion, and in the pale
moonlight I recognized the face of Miss
"Miss Lacroix!" I exclaimed
"Oh, Mr. Unwin," she begin, in
evident tension of feeling, "I could not
rest indoors, and so I came down to see
Uncle Jaq lies; I could not remain with
him, and so I came out here to look at
this, which aUaya fascinates me
I stood by her side and looked; thi
is what I saw: An inverted reflection
of the tall chimney of the chemical
works which was emitting, as it often
did late in the evening, its strange
pinkish vapor; this vapor in the re flee
tion looked as if it were slowly rising
irom trie bottom oi the pond, and, as
its color blended with the tints the
water somehow took as the breeze ruf
fled it this way or that, produced the
impression of a slowlv simmering caul
dron of red, green, and copper-brown
flame. This was so wonderfully weird
a fancy that I confess I felt my skin
creep. I turned my eyes away, and
then looked again, and again, but the
impression was ever the same.
"It's indeed very strange!" I said.
"Is it not?" said she. "You ' see it
also? Mr. Unwin," she went on, turn'
ing suddenly to me, and speaking with
a vehemence which increased as the
words came, "I have wished to tell you,
You ate a clergyman, and must hea
me make my confession; and yon will
keep it secret to yourself. You have
heard, perhaps, that my father my
dear father! is thought to be dead
now just a vear ago?"
"I have," said I.
"He went to London and to Paris
on business, and be never came hack
It happened while he was away that I
lived all by myself at borne. I slept
sound that night without dreaming
when suddenly 1 had a dream. I saw
vapor or flame slowly rising just like
that I raw a man plunge into it, and
1 knew the man was my father I felt
he was. I awoke at once all trembling
and did not go to sleep again. -That
was all my dream."
Are you bim, , I said, " that von
had not heard some one Mrs, Stein'
hardt, for instance suggest that he had
been drowned, and then von went and
dreamt of the peculiar appearance of
"No, no, no!" she protested with
rapid vehemence. "Did I not say that
I dreamed it tl e very mLt on whi
all tiace of Mm was lost from his hotel
in-London? Nobody thought then that
be was not coming home soon. And I
do not think I bad noticed this pond
then. I have dreamed the same dream
several timet since, but that may be
nothing at all. I shall very likely
dream it tonight."
I turned away from the pond and
she followed me. We walked along in
silence for some distance.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, at length, "I
do long so very much to know what has
really happened to my dear father my
"I wibIi l could neipyou vonnaouv,
I said,; "indeed I do. You may be
sure I shall think of all you have told
me, and shall try to discover anything
more. I have friends in London who
may be of use, if I may mention it to
"Oh. rertainly."ehe answered. "You
are very kind. Bacon's Hotel, Great
Queen Street, it where he was last
At a certain corner where the lane to
Timperley Hall diverged from the way
through the village, she insisted on
parting from me. I let her go with lit
tle hesitation, for I knew there wat no
fear of her being molested.
It may be presumed that while I
smoked my post-coenal pipe I thought
over the strange scene at the pond, and
II that Miss Lacnox had said. It was
certainly very mysterious, but all the
conclusion I could reach concerning it
that night was a resolve to go and look
at the pond by day.
(To be continued)
A Double Turn.
A man who was bicycling in South
ern France was pushing his machine up
steep hill when he overtook a peasant
with a donkey cart. The patient beast
was making but little progress, al
though it was doing its best.
The benevolent cyclist, putting his
left hand against the back of the cart
and guiding his machine with the other
hand, pushed eo hard that the donkey,
taking fresh courage, pulled his load
successfully up to the top.
Vt hen the summit was reached the
peasant burst into thanks to his bene
"It was good of you, indeed, mon
sieur! he protested. "I should never
in the world have got op the hill with
only one donkey."
Whert th Home Acted Mistily.
The house does funny things some
times. It pawxl a bill the other day
establishing a lighthouse on the coast
of North Carolina. The second section
of the bill provided that the "act ap
proved March S, 1901, be, and the
same is hereby repealed."- The act
thus wiped off the statute books at one
fell swoop was the sundry civil appro
priation bill, which appropriated mill
ions and millions of dollars for the ex
penses of the government. In the sen
ate the bill -was amended so as to be
less sweeping in itt effect. Washing
laduitrlal Conjumptlon of Cold.
The industrial consumption of gold
in the United States in the calendar
year is estimated to have been f 18,
667,500, and in the world approxim-
iately $75,000,000. Although the
United States led the world last year in
the prodction of gold, our imports of
the metal exceeded our exports by the
sum of $12,866,101. The stock of gold
coin in the country, including bullion
in the mints, at the close of the fiscal
vear was estimated at (1,124,652,818,
and the stock of silver coin at (610,
Khaki Color Doomed.
The British war office has decided
that after the Boer war is over khaki
will not be used, but a working dress
will be made ef a peculiar drab mix
ture, which is said ' to be ol a more
neutral color than khaki serge, so that
the present campaign will doubtless be
handed down to posterity as the khaki
war. This material, it is complained,
has not enhanced the appearance of
English soldiers, and the authorities
are by no means satisfied that it has
added to their safety.
Worth ef a Compliment
Most compliments sound something
like this: "They say he is a thief, but
he never stole anything from me It
may be because I have watched him
closelv, but so far I have never missed
anything." vt hen yon feel that your
friend deserves praise, why pay tribute
to his enemies in praising him?
"Who wat that you just spoke to?"
asked the first Chicago woman ;
face was rather familiar to me."
"I believe," said the other, "hit
name is Jenks Henry Jenks."
"Oh I to be sure. How stupid of
me! He was my first husband."
Annual Boiler Cxploitont.
In 1900 there, were in the United
St.tes 873 boiler explosions, by which
It 8 persons were killed and 520 in
jured. In Great Britain during the
same period only 24 persons were killed
and 65 injured by boiler explosions.
German Army Reserves.
The German army reserves are great-
iy increasing in number, for next salary ony $10,000 less than that re
year's 13 day of drill 6,530 non-com- ceived by the chief executive of the
missioned officers and 48,111 privates
will put in an appearance. This it
nearly double last year's numbers.
Growth of RuiiImb Tows.
Vladivostok, which 40 years ago con
sisted of four Chinese fishermen's hut,
is now a flourishing city of 60,000
souls, and Khabarofsk and Plagovest
chensk are not far behind in wealth
Illiteracy ef Portugese.
Portugal is the most illiterate conn
try in Europe; 67 per rent of its popu
lation cannot write. In Italy the pro
portion of illiterates is 63 per cent, in
Russia S3, in Spain 9 and in Britain
Venerable English Preacher.
Mr. Robert Chapman, one of the
Plymouth Brethren, is preaching ia
Devonshire, England, at the age of 100
years. He has preached for 70 years
without a break. He once was a Lon
Pneumatic Postal Tub.
Pneumatie postal tubes make slow
progress in this country. In London
theie are 81 pneumatic tubes for the
dispatch of postal packets, and their
aggregate length is 34 miles.
Manager What's this item in year
ex penee accon nt for " hard ware, $50"?
8al?ma Hardware? Oh, yea;
that's for poker. I thought it would
look better put in that way.
Vealej let Keys Fight
Dr. Temple, the archbishop ot Can
terbnry. declare that it it not a bad
thing for boys to fight occasionally, pro
vided there 1 b feeling ef BJtUic.
ERA. OF BIG SALARIES
MEN WHOSE ABILITY COMMANDS
Heads of Large Corporation Who
Draw Annually in the Neighborhood
of 30,0OO for Their Bervlcee-Borne
The present seems to be the era of
high salaries. When Lyman J. Uage
left bis $8,000 cabinet place In Wash
ington to become
President of the
Trust Company, at
a salary said to be
$50,000 per year,
men In Chicago ex
pressed a doubt of
lilt ability to earn
amount That any
man should render
a. 11. DU.AFit.LD. actual eervlcet
commensurate with a salary of $50,000
a year is really beyond the understand
ing of the average toller whose stipend
Is $2 or $3 a day. Nevertheless, In
this matter-of-fact age there are prob
ably very few persons receiving pro
digious pay who do not earn every dol
lar of it. Some months ago Secretary
Uage told an assemblage of bank
clerks In Denver that be could place at
least 20 young men, If they bad the
ability. In financial Institutions of the
country at a salary of $23,000 a year
each. His remark doubtless wat In
tended to lay stress upon the fact that
a score of young men worth $25,000
each could not easily be found.
Some High-Salaried Men.
Some months ago, when Charles
Counselinan was elected President of
the American Fisheries Company, a
concern that has control of many of
the canning factortet In the State of
Washington and along the shores of
Alaska, It was announced that bis sal
ary was to be $50,000 a year. Mr.
Counselman Is a Cblcagoan, and be has
bad a long and successful experience
l i , -
as a gram mercnant on me rwaiu ui
Trade, an owner of grain elevators, a
builder of skyscrapers, a dealer In real
estate and a man of large business In
terests generally. He began wltb lit
tle or nothing, and such education as
be possesses he acquired In the school
of experience. He It to-day a man of
large fortune and great commercial ac
tivity, still In the prime of life.
There Is another Chicago man who It
said to be receiving a yearly salary so
big thnt many would consider It a fair
fortune after a life
time of Industrious
effort. This Is Con
rad II. Matthleson
President of tht
Chicago Sugar He
some times called
the Glucose Trust
He it now about
35, and hit annual
salary bat been va
rlously ttated as
$05,000 and $73,000. . aby. .
At any rate. It It big enough to be high
ly exceptional It is but fifteen years
since he left college, and at first be
worked ten hours a day, carried bis
lunch with bim, and earned $12 a
Step by step be mastered every de
tail of the business and rose to be
manager. Then a crisis arose, calling
for the highest executive ability, aud
he wat equal to the emergency. His
company was In a rate-cutting pool and
Itt profits bad disappeared. Upon his
aggressive Initiative It withdrew from
the pool, Inaugurated a fight of Its
own and within two years was paying
30 per cent dividends. This triumph
inspired In Mr. Matthleson an ambition
to control the entire field, and this was
accomplished under his direction. Most
of the concerns absorbed by his com
pany were losing money, but under the
combine which he organized tbelr
stocks were transmuted Into gold. This
young man earns bis princely salary
by successfully handling $40,000,000 of
combined capital and conducting the
glucose business, comprising some 20
departments, in such a systematic and
prosperous way that the shareholders
are well satisfied. He says that hard
work Is a tonic to him and be keeps at
It early and late, never asking a subor
dinate to do more than he does him
self. He knows no other secret of suc
cess. Bank President' $40,000 Salary.
When Richard Delatield, President of
the National Park Bank of New York,
had bis salary raised from $23,000 to
$40,000. early last
year. It was said
that no other bank
President In the
United States re
ceived .such big
pay for hit serv
ices. The reason
given for this In
crease wat that the
bank't business bad
expanded so much
C M. SCHWAB. mnA th Maimnil.
billtlet of its executive head had be-
come to ercat that be well deserved a
nation. As the custodian of $70,000,000,
to be successfully handled In tuch
financial operation at are open to na
tional banks, bit responsibilities are
tremendous. Mr. Delatield begin his
business career as clerk In a mercan
tile house on a salary of $5 a week.
There has been much talk about tbe
salary of Charles M. Schwab. President
of the United States Steel Corporation.
It Is pretty well settled now that be re
ceives $100,000 as annual salary, and
an additional $25,000 as a contingent
a time more toan two years ago,
Elbert H. Gary, who at that time re-
tided at Wbearon, III., a suburb of
Chicago, was elected President of the
Federal Steel Company, which Is now
an Integral part of tbe tteel combina
tion, and bit salary was fixed at $00.-
000 a year. Having previously been at
torney for tbe Illinois Steel Company,
be bad mastered the legal aide of the
great Industry before be was able to
command such blgb wages. He tpe
clalised his knowledge, and thus was
aiJe to attract tbe attention of the cap
Rallsts In control of tbe vast enter
prises. At chairman of the Executive
Committee of the great tteel trust, he
probably receive fully at much as be
drew when President.
The two highest paid men In tbe
American pulpit are Bishop Totter, of
New York, and Rabbi Era II G. Hlrwh.
of Chicago, each of whom draws $15,
PECULIAR DREAM STORY.
Lidx SeeeVUIon of Home and IHr
elt Facsimile ef Ghnet teen There.
Horace t. Hutchinson, wbo ba bet'ii
lisoontnlnj on "Dream" In Longman's
Magaxine, gives tbe following peculUr
I amimmmmtmnl I I n
A certain lady dreamed frequently
of a certain house until It bad become
exceedingly familiar to ber; she knew
all Its rooms, Itt furniture; It wat as
well known to ber as that In which she
lived her waking life, and, like a good
wife who bas no secrets from her bus
band, she often talked over all the de
tails wltb him a very pleasant fancy.
One day they husband and wife went
Into tbe country to view a house that
they thought of taking for the summer
months. Tbey bad not seen It, but the
account In the bouse agent's list had
attracted them. When they arrived
before It they gave a tlmultaneaus ex
clamation of surprise. "Why," said
the husband, "It Is your dream house!"
It was. The coincidence attracted
them. They took the house.
In the course of their occupancy they
learned that the bouse had the reputa
tion of being haunted; that several peo-
pie before them had taken It for short
terms, but had eeen-or fancied they ,
bad teen-"somethlng." and bad left
before their term of tenancy expired.
- a . . . .-.. nn hrAllyll t ,
Haa inese new iwu
their own old servants with them. It la
likely that tbey would have had some
difficulty In whipping up a domestic
staff, so uncanny was the reputation
of their apparently reputable house.
The new tenants dwelt In the
house with all satisfaction and peace
through the summer months until their
term of tenancy came to an end. On
leaving, husband and wife expressed
their satisfaction to the local agent
"The only thing." said the wife, "that
we were disappointed in is that we nev
er saw the ghost"
"Oh, no!" said the agent. "We knew
you would not see the ghost."
"What do you mean?" asked the
wife, rather nettled.
"Oh," the agent repeated, "we knew
-ftM not see the aiiostl You are
the ghost that people have always seen
Malagasy Funeral Custom.
Tbe funeral customs of the Malaga
ties vary according to the tribe.
The burial places are surrounded
with stones placed erect, when any are
to be found In the vicinity, but, If these
are wanting, with stakes more or less
carved and figured and surmounted
wltb ox horns. After a person dies,
the"1)ody Is preserved In the but for
several days, during which time former
friends and acquaintances unite
around the bier in order to sing and
dance and mnke copious libations In
the deceased's honor. When the day
of funeral arrives, the coffin Is covered
with rags of different colors, and above
the head Is placed an umbrella to pro
tect the face against the heat of the
Young glrlt form the head of the
cortege, dancing and singing and mark
ing time by clapping their hands, and Beryed Teloclty of tl)e elpRnslon exact
sometimes marching around the body. . . t veIocit, of nKht That
I The bearers of the coffin stop at cer
tain places and turn It round and rouud
In order to drive away evil spirits.
Behind walk the aged, and after them
the cattle of tbe deceased, If be or she
The grave, which Is not very deep,
Is Immediately after the burial protect
ed by an Improvised wall or a pallsadu.
In the construction of which all hands
take part. After this there begins a
festival which t prolonged until night
fall Same Old Trouble.
It wat a frequent custom with Lin
coln, that of carrying his children on
his shoulders, says the Wtersry Di
gest. He rarely went downstreet that
he did not have one of his youngor
boys mounted on bis shoulder, while
another hung to tbe tall of his loug
coat. The antics of tne boys witn tueir
father, and the species of tyranny they
exercised over bim, are still subjects
of talk In Springfield. Mr. Koland
Dlller, who was a neighbor of Mr. Lin
coln, tells one of the best of the stories.
He was called to the door one day by
hearing a great noise of children, aud
there was Mr. Lincoln striding by witn
the boys, both of whom were walling
aloud. "Why, Mr. Lincoln, what's the
matter with the boys?" be askei. "Just
what's the matter Wltb the whole
world," Lincoln replied. "I've got
three walnnts, and each wants two."
The Jap's Kindne to Animals.
Prof. Morse bas borne convincing tes -
tlmony to the free and happy relations
existing between tbe human and the
brute creation in Japan, where a Soci
ety for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals would find no ralson d etre.
There he says:
Birds build their nests In the city
houses, wild fowl geese and ducks
alight in the public parks, wild deer
trot about the street 1 have actually
been followed by wild deer In the
streets, nibbling melon rind out of my
hand, as tame as calves and lambs on
farms. A dog goes to sleep In the busi
est streets; men turn aside so as not
to disturb bim. One day a beautiful
heron alighted on the limb of a tree,
and the busy Jostling throng stopped.
Every man'e band went Into bit pocket,
and out came pencil and tketchlng pa
per. Chinese Nerreleune.
A North China paper Is responsible
for tbe statement that the quality of
nervelessness distinguishes tbe China
man from tbe European. The -Chinaman
can write all day, work all day,
stand In one position all day, weave,
beat gold, carve Ivory, do Infinitely te
dious Jobs for ever and ever, and dis
cover no more weariness and Irritation
than If be were a machine This qual
ity appears In early life. The China
man can do without exercise also.
Sport and play seem to bim so much
waste labor. He can sleep anywhere,
amid rattling machinery and deafening
uproar. He can sleep on the ground,
on the floor, on a chair, or In any po
sition. New York Ledger.
Not 80 Greene aa Uer Name.
Prof. Syle of the State University of
California, who spent the holidays la
New York, tells this story of himself.
At the beginning of the last session,
while calling tbe roll of bis new schol
ars, be came upon tbe name Miss
Greene. He stopped anj expressed ms
disapproval of the final e In her name
"O-r-doubie-e-n-e. uoe iuai .pen
Green or greenier
Mist Greene responded promptly:
"8-y-l-e, does that spell Syle or sillier
Then tbe roll call proceeded amid
suppressed laughter-New York Times.
A Res-Tiaa Comment,
The refrain." we said to our neigh
bor at tbe vaudeville performance,
while tbe popular ballad wa being ren
dered, "I prettier than tbe verses."
-Yea." be agreed. "I wish he would
refrain altogether." Baltimore Ameri
can. Husband Now, dear. Just as soon as
you arrive yon must telegraph. Wife
All right How much shall I telegraph
for? Town Topics.
Many a girl's distant wanner may
be traced to tbe fact that ane bad ot
lona for dinner.
Tbe tea It a great denuding agent;
but Its work It more constructive than
destructive. It Is the workshop where
nearly all tbe stratified rocks have
been accumulated and ranged In layers
of strata. The rivers and ocean cur
rents continually bring in fresh sup
plies of debris, even for hundreds of
While In South Africa, Major H, A.
Cummlugs found that the air of the
Pretoria valley beeoinee very hot and
dry, and tbe severe storms generated
include whirlwinds carrying dust.
..... k t From a eelatlne
' expoge(l one gecond t0 a dust
8to thougands of coionet of bacteria
m developed. It Is believed that
d (n tnlg wtTi and the
noaaihip distribution of tropical epioem-
let Is appalling.
When the model of the great extinct
dinosaur called tbe trlceratops, which
was shown at the Buffalo Exposition,
was In process of making, considerable
difficulty' was anticipated In sustaining
the huge armored skull In its proper
position. But when tbe attempt wat
made there wat no difficulty. Then it
was found that nature, whose lines had
been carefully followed In making tbe
model, bad so cunningly balanced the
parts about the Junction of the head
with the neck that a tingle pin In the
base of the skull sufficed to carry It
The reputation of Germany as a
country where life Is regulated as much
as possiuie in accoruuuee wn
bests of science is borne out by the
regulations of tbe German miltlary au
thorlties concerning tbe marching and
physical training of troops. The "physi
ology of marching" has recently been
the subject of careful Investigation,
and the results obtained are taken ad
vantage of for tbe benefit of tbe Ger
man army. Among the conclusions
reached Is that during continuous heavy
marching the rations supplied are not
sufficient to replace the waste of carbo
hydrates, and that a day's rest Is re
quired after every three days' march
ing, to enable the body to recover Its
Among the many suggestions offered
to account for the swift expansion of
the nebulous rings surrounding Nova
Persel, none seems more captivating
than that of Prof. Kupteyn In a recent
number of the Astronomlsche Nach
rlchten, where be suggests that tbe
phenomenon may be due to the echo
ing of light At the probable distance
of Nova Persel from the earth the ob-
being so, it Is only necessary to sup
pose the space surrounding the new
star to contain scattered nebulous or
meteoric matter, from which tbe light
of the explosion that produced the star
Is reflected to us at greater and great
er distances from the star as tbe light
expands around It It Is like the re
flection of the sound of an explosion
taking place In a hilly country, and
coming to our ears In a succession of
echoes as It reaches more and more
INDIANS AS HOUSE SERVANTS.
Nevada Town that Ha Had Some Sue
cess with the Experiment.
Carson, the capital of Nevada, Is
Drobably the only city In the country
where the "hired girl" is a squaw. The
Eastern tourist Is apt to think that the
Western Indian is a myth. At Denver
be will tee him only at the annual fes
tival. In New Mexico and Arizona he
will find him truly, but he Is tbe Pueblo
Indlnn living In his own ancient vil
lain. The Indian of the plains, the
hero of frontier romance. Is secluded
on the reservation.
But nt Carson he Is an all-pervading
element of the landscape. In the mouu
tains roundabout Carson live tbe retn
nants of three tribes, the Plutes, the
Washoes and the Shoshones. They are
not upon any reservation, nor do they
receive Government support. They
are absolutely free, left In possession
these sterile uplands wblcb tbe
white man does not want Each day
companies of them come down Into
Carson and, swathed In bright blan
kets, sit playing Piute poker upon ev
ery vacant lot You will often see the
squaws sewing there also, making gar
ments of Turkey red and other gor
geous cottons. Tbe pappooses play
about the brilliant sun throws out the
flaming scarlet of tbe blanket and tbe
rlcb coppery hues of their skin. It Is
all wildly picturesque.
Now. It Is this picturesque personage.
male and female, who helps to solve
the servant girl problem In Carson.
Other help Is scarce and blgb, and In
spite of the fact that neither buck nor
squaw can ever be pinned to regular
labor, tbelr occasional services are wel
come. To tbe Carson housewife every
buck Is Jim and every squaw Is. Sally.
Sally opens tbe kitchen door without
the formality of a 'knock, and tayt:
"Mahaylle (woman), yon want work
done?" or. tlmply, "Me beap bogadi
wblcb ttgnlflei that sbe Is very hungry
and desires to work for a meal
If yon are an Eastern woman this la
apt to frighten you Into fits the first
time, and It Is likewise terrifying to
look up and find a buck's swarthy face
plastered against the outside of your
window pane. It takes a little while
for you to thoroughly learn that there
Is nothing to be feared. But after
bit you welcome Sally gladly and set
ber to scrubbing tbe floor or washing
dishes or clothes. Very rarely there Is
a Sally who will eome regularly for
weekly wash day. But generally they
will wcrk only when they are driven
by hunger. Sometimes Sally comes
shivering to the door In winter wltb
baby under ber blanket Sbe la "heap
cold." and wanta to toast herself and
the queer, silent little morsel of bu
manity on ber back at tbe kitchen fire.
They are often ragged and Insufficient
ly protected from tbe cold. Sometimes
Sally will bring an armful of baskets
to at your door and then the Ea8t.
ern woman welcomes her with Joy, for
,De knowI ,he ran plck np for a few
cent, haskett for which she must pay
donar In the ebops -of Carson. Tbe
housewife likes to get a Pfute Sally to
work ror ter If she can, for sbe Is
cMner and more Industrious
adaptable than ber sister of
Shoshones and Washoe, Wben Jim Is
"beap bogadi" be will cut wood, mow
the lawo and do other odd Jobs.
Tbe Indians never stay In Carson
over night and no Eastern woman fails
to look from ber window at sunset and
watch them slowly making their way
along tbe trail In Indian file In and
out wlndt tbe long line, across tbe face
of the darkening mountain, the last
eunramt lighting np tbelr barbaric
trappings, each Jim Invariably with
hi own Sady. the quaw alwayt carry-
Ing tbe pappoose. but tbe buck eome-
J time tbonlderlng tbe stumbling tod-
dlert; np, np, to the brush tepee at Um
bel line, where each tribe In Its own
place, seperatet from the other two,
cooks Itt scanty foodoverlUlittlccamp
nre and goes to sleep among the moan
ing pines.-Wasb!ngton Evening Star.
Feat of Skill and Darin; by a French
Maater of DUgniae. .
Tbe most sensational trial of smug
glers which baa taken place for many
years wat neia at romunier, uu mr
The leader -of tbe band, a man named
Derobert and 224 of bit associates are
charged with attempting to clandestine
ly pass a large quantity of tobacco and
phosphorus across the French frontier.
Seventy-eight French and Swiss cus
toms officers are cited as witnesses.
Derobert, a man of extraordinary cun
ning, was known on the frontier at tbe
king of smugglers. His ingenious ruses
were worthy of Sherlock Holmea. At
hla bouse were discovered hundreds of
disguises, consisting of false beards
and mustaches, wigs, and complete
aulta of clothes, representing workmen,
gentlemen, commercial travelers, etc.,
In every trade and profession, and cor
rect In every detail
Derobert's method was daring aud
most cunning. Accompanied by a tin
gle confederate be would disguise him
self and take a first second, or third
class railway ticket (according to bis
disguise). He would then take tbe
train at a Swiss station, generally at
Geneva or Lausanne, where confeder
ates awaited bim wltb large quantities
of tobacco and phosphorus carefully
concealed In boxes as baggage.
At toon at the train started be would
commence concealing the dutiable
goods. Cushions would be ripped open.
beams would be drilled through, the
floor of the carriage taken up anr care
fully readjusted after the tobacco bad
been put out of sight Derobert even
bad false keys for opening tbe guard's
private drawers and boxes. In wblcb
he often concealed bit goods.
The smuggler generally took by pref
erence a rast nigbt train, wnen tne
frontier was crossed and the custom
house passed, he would replace tbe to
bacco, etc., In the boxee or traveling
bags, which were then handed over to
accomplices awaiting their chief on tbe
It Is estimated, according to tbe pros
ecution, that by these means tbe French
Government has been robbed of nearly
10.000 pounds during the last two
Tbe custom house officials were
aware of the leakage, but all their plant
and rules failed In discovering tbe cul
prits. Derobert wat at last arrested a
little while ago while crossing tbe fron
tier with a large consignment of to
bacco and phosphorus Ingeniously In
serted Into hollows made In tbe wood.
DESERTERS FROM THE ARMY.
Five Thonaand Soldier Laat Year Quit
Uncle Barn's Service.
There were 0,000 desertlous from tbe
United States army In 1001. The War
Department Is therefore turning its at
tention to solving tbe problem thus
An army officer who bas given the
situation bis best attention announces
that "there Is no cause for it In the
service. It's not the treatment the
men receive or lack of privileges or
anything else we can alter. It't Just
pure cusseduess; that's my conclusion
after years of experience."
He goes on to state that these men
wbo desert are of a roving disposition,
anyhow. They bave always been ac
customed to roam. Tbey have been
wont to take a new boss, and, after
trying him a while, to discharge him
and get another. Uncle Sam can't be
discharged, as the men who try it find
For the deserters are nearly all
caught As some one has put it. It's
no trouble to get away. The trouble
Is to stay away. In spite of tbe great
number of desertions the number of
successful ones Is on tbe decrease. A
man usually makes at once for home,
ani the local officials bave been In
formed of tbe desertion, and are on tbe
lookout for him when be arrives, for
there It a $30 reward out for hit cap
ture. Then again a deserter bas a curious
habit of sooner or later trying to en
list a second time. If be hasn't been
caucbt before, be surely is now. For
the government has an elaborate card
system of detection. As soon as a man
enters the service a complete descrip
tion of bim Is placed on a card, which
it catalogued at the surgeon general's
office In Washington. Each new re
cruit as he enlists must, after he has
passed all other examinations, pass tbe
last test as to whether or not be has
ever been In the army before. The In
formation Is all at band there In tbe
card catalogue. It It consulted, and
wben a deserter is found applying for
re-enlistment be gets promptly Into
prison Instead of Into tbe army.
No man wbo bas once deserted can
ever enlist again. Tbe government
doesn't Intend to bave tbe army used
as a convenience by a class of men
wbo want to get In It to tide over
time of trouble and then want quickly
to set out of It. Philadelphia North
"Faithful" Service Rewarded,
The late Judge Smyth, to much bet
ter known as "tbe Recorder." used to
bave reminiscence of another lawyer
wbo now enjoys much distinction at
tbe bar and for a time rejoiced in Ju
dicial honors, but who was at the time
managing clerk of a law office on the
same corridor with that of the future
"I met bim In tbe ball one day,
said the old Judge, "and be was evi
dently very mucb agitated. I Inquired
the nature of bis trouble. Almost
weeping, he answered: 'I have been
discharged, discharged without a word
of explanation, after five years of
faithful service. It Is very hard.' Aud
then be quite gave way. and added. In
tears: 'And you know, Mr. Smyth, you
know wbat affidavits I bave made for
that man.'" New York Times.
Tbelr One Attraction.
"Jane, where on earth did you get all
"Just think! The druggist let me
bare tbe entire lot for a nickel!"
"But tbey are last year's."
"Yee, but tbey were such a bargain.
dear."-Cleveland Plnln Dealer.
6htniee Habit in Turkey.
Horses, mules and donkeys go losded
to market In Turkey, but the road Is
strewn wltb grain leaking from the old
tacks, and thousands of turkeys, which
may be bought at 12 cents apiece, feed
on tbe dropping grain.
young y, are DKed by
j rii ,hat -n, t il.ter to
. .hnuM , ,nH ... ,- K.
, ,,,,. t0 yon.- nw ln
We eftea wonder If clerk la a store
j pa far the cigars tbey tmoke.
GEO. P. GROVELL,
Sucoowor to I. L. Smith,
Oldeet Bausllstaed House in lhvlly.)
Dry Goods, Groceries,
Boots and Shoes,
Flour and Feed, etc.
This o!d-etatlielied house will con
tinue to pay cash for all its goods; it
Says no rent; it employs a clerk, but
oes not bave to divide with a partner.
All dividends are made with customers
in the way of reasouable price.
Have owned an office in Hood River.
Call and get prices and leave orders,
winch will be promptly filled.
THE REGULATOR LINE
Dalles, Portland & AstorU.
COMMENCING JAN. 1. 190J,
And continuing nntll March 1, 1901,
this company will have butoneiteamtr
running between The Dalle and Fort-
land: leavine Tbe Dallet Monday.
Wednesday and Friday, and Portland
Tuetday, Thursday and Saturday.
Regulator, Dallei Gty, Reliance.
Portland -Astoria Route
Str. "BAILEY GATZERT."
Dally round tripa xept Sunday.
Laavea Aitorta ......
The Dalles-Portland Route
Str. -TAHOMA" and "BONIT A
Daily trlpa .xoept Sunday.
Uarei Portland, Hon., Wd., Frl f :W A. kt
Uave Tbe Dalles, Tuea., Tkur. Bat,7:M A. at
Leave Portland, Tuea., Thu., Sat. 7:00 A. kt.
Leave Tta. Dalle Hon., Wed., Frl 7 :M A. kt.
Landing Foot of Alder Street,
Both 'Phonei Mala ML
JOHN M. FILLOON Tn Dallet, Or
A. ). TAYLOR Aitorla,Or
PRATHER A HKMMAN Hood River, Or
WOLFORD A WVERS White Salmon, Weak
. C. WY ATT Vancouver. Waah
R. B. G1LBKETH Ljrle. Weak
JOHN M. TOTTON ...... Btereneon, Wak
HKN'RY OLMSTED Carion, Waaa
Portland, Ore goo
amo union Pacific
Butt Iie, Denrer,
Cblcaro Ft. Worth, Omaha, Portlao4
Special Kaneaa City, St. tpMlal
11 : a.m. Lome, Chicago eod ln.v
Walla Wall Uwla-
pnkan ton.Spnkane.Mla- Portia Bj
Flyer ueapolla.m. Paul, 'if
t-M f.m. Dululh. Mliwan- .
Salt Lake, Denrer,
Hall and Ft. Worth. Omaha, Mall 4
Bipraa Kaniaa City, St. El area
U;p. m. Loula.CMcatoaud .
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
f BOat PORTLAND.
M t at. All ealllnf dafea (at a,
eubjeet to ebaoi.
For 8a Franelaco
hall erery . day
Dally Mm Ma thw 4 ..
V " 7 toeaieera. t aJT.f
Saturday T Artorla aad War
I a p. m. Land I n(t
:4ta.a. WWaann ther. .
ft. seeder Or on city, Ke. ai 1..
ber. Saieat, Itxt.
pendenee A Wet
I .ana in re.
lMt.m. WMae. eed Teav I N p m.
Oreree City, Dee
toe, a Wey UmS.
WWeewte ther. f p ay
m Jf MeVl
ead Baa, Pertland te Cr 4. aa4 Frl
lie A Way U4,
l. Rtperle Beaaa B aa.
A. L. CRAIO,
fP"l Ffef Arrat. Per,
AOt. , e4 Blvm