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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 1, 1901)
" I Tbe Doctor's By Hesba TTTTTTtTTTV" r CHAPTER XV.-(Continued.) That brought to my mind what I had almost forgotten the woman whom my imprudent curiosity had brought into pursuit ot her. I felt ready to curse my folly aloud, I did in my heart, for having gone to Messrs. Scott and Brown. "Olivia," I laid, "there la a woman in Guernsey who has some clue to you " But I could say no more, for I thought he would have fallen to the ground in her terror. I drew her haod through my arm and hastened to reassure her. "No harm can come to you," I contin ued, "whilst Tardlf and I are here to pro tect you. Do not frighten yourself; we will defend you from every danger." "Martin," aha whispered-rand the pleasant familiarity of my name Bpoken by her gave me a sharp pang, almost of gladness "no one can help me or de fend me. The law would compel me to go back to him. A woman'a heart may ba broken without the law being broken. I could prove nothing that would give me a right to be free notning. oo i took It Into my own bands. I tell you I would, rather have been drowned thia afternoon. Why did yon save me?" I did not answer, except by pressing her hand against my side. I hurried her on silently towards the cottage. Bhe was shivering In her cold, wet dress, and trembling with fear. It was plain to nie that even her fine health should not be trifled with, and I loved her too tenderly, her poor, shivering, trembling frame, to let her suffer if I could help it. When we reached the foldyard gate, I stopped her for a moment to speak only a few words. "Go in," I said, "and change every one of your wet clothes. I will see you again, once again, when we can talk with one another calmly. God bless and take care of you, my darling!" Sho smiled faintly, and laid her hand In mine. "You forgive me?" she said. "Forgive you!" I repeated, kissing the mall brown hand lingeringly; "I have nothing to forgive." She went on across the little fold. Then I made my way, blind and deaf, to the edge of the cliff, seeing nothing, hear ing nothing. I 0ung myself down on the turf, with my face to the ground, to hide my eyes from the staring light of the summer sun. ; Married? That was what she had said. It shut out all hope for the future. She I must have been a mere child four years ago: she looked very young and girlish till. And her husband treated her ill my Olivia, for whom I had given up all I had to give. She said the law would compel her to return to blm, and I could do nothing. I could not Interfere even to aave her from a life which was worse to her than death . My heart was caught in' a vice, and there was no escape from the torture of its relentless grip. Whichever way I looked there was. sorrow and despair. I wished, with a falnt-heartednesa I had never felt before, that Olivia and I had indeed perished together down in the caves where the tide waa now. aweeping below me. "Martin!" said a clear, low, tender tone in my ear, which could never be deaf to that voice. I looked up at Olivia without moving. My head waa at her feet, and I laid my hand upon the hem of her dress. "Martin," she said- again? "see, I have brought you Tardif's coat in place of your own. You must not lie here in this way. Captain Carey's yacht ia waiting for you below." - I staggered giddily when I stood on my feet, and only Olivia's look of pain stead led me. She had been weeping bitterly. I could not trust myself to look in her face again. Tardlf was'standing behind her, regarding -us both- with great con cern. "Doctor," he said, '"when I came , in from my lobster-pots, the captain aent a message by me to say the sun would be gone down before you reach Guernsey. He has come round to the Havre Gosse lin. I'll walk down the cliff with you." "Take care of matn'aette;" I said, when we hud reached the top of the ladder, and the little boat from the yacht was danc ing at the foot of It. "There Is some danger ahead, and you Can protect her better than I." "Yes, yes," he replied; "you may trust her with me. But-God knows I should have been glad if :lt had gone well with you." CHAPTElf XVt. " My mother passed a restless and agi tated night, and I," who sat up with her, waa compelled to, .listen, to ..all her la mentations. But itofards the morning ahe fell Into a heavy sleep, likely to last for some hours. I could leave her lu perfect security; and at an early hour I went down to Julia's house, strung up to bear the worst, and Intending to have it all out with her,; and put her on her guard before aha paid her dally visit to our houae. She must have some hours for her excitement and rejoicing to bub ble over, before she came to talk about It to niy mother. -, , "I wish to see Mi.J)obree," I said to the girl who quickly answered my noisy peal of the house JieUc.,, ; ,.. "Please, air," was her reply, "ahe and Miss Daltrey are gone .to Sark with Cap tain Carey." . . ,-. t . "Gone to Sark!" I repeated in utter amazement. - : : "Yes, Dr. Martin. Th y alaf'ed quite arly because ot the tl !e, and Captain Carey's man brought the carringe to take them to St. Sampson's. '" I don't look for them back 1 efore evening." "When did they make up their minds to go to Sark?' I iouulred anxiously. "Only late last night, sir," she answer ed. Why were Julia and Kate Daltrey gone to Sark? What could-they have to do with Olivia? It made me almost wild with anger to think of them finding Olivia, and talking to her perhaps of me and my love questioning her, arguing with her, tormenting her! . The bare thought of those two badgering my Olivia was enough to drive me frantic. In the cool twilight, Julia and Kate Daltrey were announced. I was about to withdraw from my mother's room, in conformity with the etiquette established amongst ns, when Julia recalled me in gentler voice than ahe had used to wards me since the day of my fatal con fession. "Stay, Martin," ahe said; "what we have to tell concerns you more than any one." I sat down again by my m ether's sofa, nd all took my hand between both her own, fondling it in the dusk. "It is about Olivia," I aaid in aa cool ton aa I could command. "Yea," answered Julia; "We hv seen her, and w bar- found out why th w Dilemma Stretton has refused you.. She is married al ready." "She told me so yesterday," I replied. "Told you o yesterday!" repeated Ju lia In an accent of chagrin. "If we had only known that we might have saved ourselves the passage across to earn. "Mr dear Julia." exclaimed my mother. feverishly, "do tell us all about it, and begin at the bceinninii." , There waa nothing Julia liked so much, or could do so well, as to give a circum stantial account of anything tmehad done. She could relate miuute details with so much accuracy that when one was laiy or unoccupied It was pleasant to listen. My mother eujoled, with all the delight of a woman", the small touches bv which Julia embellished her sketches" I resigned myself to hearing long hiaf tory, when I waa burning to ask -one. 'or two questions and have done wlt.ir the topic. , , " ,' "' "To begin at the beginning,;theft4 ' aaid Julia, "dear Captain Carey""canje- into town very late last night to talk to ns about Martin, and how the girl in Baric had refused hltn. I was very much as tonished, very much indeed t Captain Carey aaid. that he and dear Johanna had come to the conclusion that the girl felt some delicacy, perhaps, because of Martin's engagement to me. We talked It over as friends, and thought of you, dear aunt, and your grief and disappoint ment, till all at once I made up my mind in a moment. 'I will go over to Sark and see the girl myself,' I said. 'Will you?' said Captain. Carey. 'Oh, no, Julia, it will be too much for yon.' 'It would have been a few we"eka ago,' I said; 'but now I could do anything to give aunt Dobree a moment's happiness.' " "PERHAPS YOU WILL FEEL, "Heaven bless you. Julia," I interrupt ed, going across to her and' kissing her cheek impetuously. 'There, don't stop me, Martin, sne said earnestly. "So it was arranged ott hund that Captain Carey should send for us to St. Sampson's this morning, and take us over to Sar. We had a splendid passage. Kate was in raptures with the landing place, ana we loveiy lane leading up into the Island. We turn ed down the nearest way to Tardifg. Well, you know that brown pool In the lane leading to the Havre Gosselin? Just there, where there are some low, weather-beaten trees meeting overhead and making a long green aisle, we saw all in a moment a slim, erect, very young-looking girl coming towards us. I knew in an instant that it was Miss Ollivier." ," She paused for a minute, How plainly I could see the picture! The arching trees, and the sunbeams playing fondly with her shining golden hair! I held my breath to listen. . What completely startled me," aid Julia, "was that Kate suddenly darted forward and ran to meet her, crying, Olivia!'" ' "How docs she know her?" I exclaim ed. 'Hush, Martin! Don't interrupt me. The girl went so deadly pale, I thought she was going to faint, but she did not. She stood for a minute looking at us, and then she burst into the most dread ful fit of crying! I have alwaya thought her name was Ollivier, and so did Kate. 'For pity'a sake,' said the girl, 'if you have any pity, leave me here in peace do not betray me' "But what does it all mean?" asked my mother, whilst I paced to and fro in the dim room, scarcely oble to control my impatience, yet afraid to question Julia too eagerly. "I can tell you," said Kate Daltrey In her cold, deliberate tones; "she 1s the wife of my half-brother, Richard Foster, who married her more than four years ago In Melbourne; and she ran away from him last October, and has not been heard of since." "Then you know her whole history," I aid, approaching her and pausing be fore her. "Are you at liberty to tell It to na?" "Certainly," she" answered;" "It" ia no .secret Her father was a wealthy -col onist, and he died when she was fifteen, leaving her in the charge of her step mother, lik-harJ Foster's aunt. The match was one of the stepmother's mak ing, for Olivia was little better than 8 child. Richard was glad enough to get her Income. One-third of it "was settled upon her absolutely. Riihard was look ing forward eagerly 6 her being one and- twenty, for he had' made ducka and drakes of his own property, and tri?d to do the same with miue. He would have done .ao with his wife's; bnt a few wveks before Olivia's twenty-first birthday she disappeared mysteriously." There her fortune lies, and Richard has no more power than I have to touch It He can not even claim the money lying ia the Bank of Australia, which has been re mitted by her trustees; nor can Olivia claim it without making herself know to him. It ia accumulating there, while both ot them are on the verge- of pov erty." "But he must have 6een very, cruel to her before she would run away I" aaid my mother in a pitiful volee, ' "Cruel!" repeated Kate Daltrey". "Well, there are many kinda of Cruelty.-1 I do ot suppose It U hard would ever trans gresa the limits of the law. But Olivia was one of those girla who can suffer great torture mental torture I mean. Even I could not live in the same house with Richard, and she was a dreamy, sensitive, romantic chld, with aa much knowledge ot the world as a baby. I was astonished to hear she had had dar ing enough to leave him. "But there must be some protection for her from the law," I aaid, thinking of the bold, coarse woman, no doubt his asso ciate, who was In pursuit of vnvia. one might sue for a judicial separation, at the least, if not a divorce." "I am quite euro nothing could be brought against him In a court of law," she answered. "He la very wary and cunning, and knows very well what he may do and what he may not do. A few months before Olivia's flight, he In troduced a woman as her companion. H calls her hla cousin. Since I saw her thU morning I have been thinking of her position In every light, and I really do not see anything she could have done, except running away as ahe did, or mak ing up her mind to be deaf and blind and dumb." L t'But could he not be Induced to leave her in peace If she gave up a portion or her property? I asked. "Whv should he?" she retorted. "It she was In his hands the whole of the property would be his. He will never release her never. No, her only chance is to hide herself from blm. The law cannot deal with wronga like hera, be cause they are aa light as air apparently, though they are as all-pervading as air Is, and aa poisonous aa air can be. They are like choke-damp, only not quite fa tal. He is aa crafty and cunning ai a serpent. He could prove himself th kindest, most considerate of husbands, and Olivia next thing to an idiot. Oh, it la ridiculous to think of pitting a girl like her against him! "But what can be done for her?" I ask ed vehemently and passionately. "My poor Olivia! what can I do to protect her?" "Nothing!" replied Kate Daltrey, cold lv. "Her only chance Is concealment, and what a poor chance that Is! I went over to Sark, never thinking that your Miss Ollivier whom I had heard so much of was Olivia Foster. It la an out-of-the- world place; but so much the more read ily they will find her, if they once get clue. A hare is soon caught when it can not double; and how could Olivia escape if they only traced her to Bark?" , My dread ot the woman into whose MELANCHOLY BY-AND-BY." hands my imbecile curiosity had put the clue was growing greater every minute. It seemed as if Olivia could not be safe now, day or night; yet what protection could I or Tardif give to her? You will not betray her? I said to Kate Daltrey, though feeling all the time that I could not trust her in the sta&iltxt degree. "I have promised deat Julia that," she answered. . It became my duty to keep a strict watch over the woman who had come to .Guernsey to find Olivia. If possible I must decoy her away from the lowly nest where my helpless bird was ehel tered. She had not seut for me again, but I called upon her the next morning professionally, and stayed some time talking with her. But nothing resulted from, the visit beyond the assurance that she had not yet made any progress to wards the discovery of my secret. Neither did I feel quite safe about Kate Daltrey. She gave me the Impres sion of being as crafty and cunning as ahe described her half-brother. Did she know this woman by sight? That waa question I could not answer. There was another question banging npon it. If she saw her, would she not in some wa contrive to give her sufficient hint, with out positively breakiug her promise to Julia? Kate Daltrey a name did not appear in the newspapers among the list ot visitors, as she waa staying in a pri vate house-; but she and thia woman might meet any day in the streets or on the pier. I bad to cross over to Sark the next week, alone and Independent of Captain Carey. The time passed heavily, and on the following Monday I went on board the steamer. I had not been on dock tw4 minutes when I saw my patient step o after me. - The last clue was in her fin gers nOw, that was evident. She did not see me at first; nut her ait was exultant and satisfied. Uhere waa no face on board so elated and flushed. I kept out of her way as long as I could without consigning myself to the black hole of the cabin; but at last she caught sight ot me, and came down to the fore castle to claim me as an acquaintance. "Ha, ha! Dr. Dobree!" she exclaimed) "so you are going to visit Sark, too?" "Yes," I answered more curtly than courteously. (To. be continued.) The Anthem Again. The "Messiah" was sung recently In Philadelphia, and one of the anthems rendered "' by the chorus had as Its theme, "AYe have turned every one to bis own "way."" As anthems go, this sounded somewhat as follows: "We Jiave' turned, turned turned we have turned, yes, we have we have turned every one, every tme to his own way, own way every one to his own way." The anthem Involved several pages of music, and every time the chorus sang "we have turned, turned, turned," they proceeded to turn over to the next page, and then burst out again with "we have turned, turned!" A certain plain citizen, rather elderly, who sat -well in the rear, not appreciating the delicate sentiment was heard to mut ter, disgustedly, "Well, when you get through turniu', turnin' them gol denied pages, suppose you shet up about It!" n.trper'i Magazine. If the cook, breaks only one dish a week. It fs on Sunday, when the man of the house Is home to hear the crash, and g-rumbl about it r-Science teaivention The fishes of America north of the Isthmua of Panama, as listed by Jor dan and Evermann, embrace tnree classes, thirty orders, .225 families, 113 genera, 335 sub-genera, i,-tM Bpe- cles and 133 sub-species. A Belgian engineer, Toblansky, has Invented an apparatus for producing light from smoke. It appears that the "origin of the smoke Is a matter of in difference. It is simply forced into a receiver, where it is saturated with hydrocarburet, and can then be burn ed, giving a brilliant illumination. An interesting meteorological station is that of Mammoth Tank, on the Hue of the Southern Pacific Railway, In Diego County. Cal The mean annual rainfall for twenty-three years has been 1.81 Inches; maximum tempera ture 130 degrees, on Aug. 17, 1878; hot test month July, with a mean of u.o degrees. The best test for rubies and emeralds, says Dr. Immanuel Frlediaender of Berlin, is microscopic examination. Nearly every ruby and all emeralds hare many defects which are so char acteristic that the expert can recognize them, and which cannot be produced In artificial stones. True emeralds have minute enclosures of liquids and curl ous dentrites. Sapphires also show pe culiar net-like formations. A magnify ing power of 100 diameters suffices to reveal the characteristic defects. For diamonds a good test is that of hard ness. A genuine diamond cannot be scratched by a file or by quartz, and a ruby should stand a similar test; but emerald Is not much harder than quartz, and cracks easily. During the firing of minute-guns by the English fleet at Splthead, on the occasion of Queen Victoria's funeral, the sounds were heard at surprising distances Inland, and the English scien tific Journals have since published many Interesting facts about these phe nomena. It seems to be established that not only the direction of the wind, but Its relative velocity at different eleva tions from the ground, affected the dl rectlon of the sound waves. In some cases, contrary winds rcrraciea me sound over the beads of observers be tween 10 and 45 miles from the ships, so that they did not hear the guns, but the same waves were afterward brought to the ground by favorable upper currents, rendering the sounds audible at fifty miles, and even as far as-140 miles, while at 84 miles they were so loud that laborers In the fields put down tbelr spades and listened to them. I In several parts of the world a resin ous substance called ozocerite, and bearing considerable resemblance to beeswax. Is found, usually In connec tion with rock salt and coal. There are deposits lu Austria, Russia, Rou mnnia, Egypt, Algeria, Canada aud Mexico, but, says our consul at Trieste, Mr. Hossfeld, ozocerite has, so far, not been discovered In sufficient quantities to pay for mining anywhere except In the district of Boryslav, in Austrian Galicla, and ou an Island on' the west coast of the Caspian sea. In mining this mineral wax, shafts are sunk until a bed, or "nest," of ozocerite Is struck. Then connecting galleries are driven. There is considerable danger, aud many lives have been lost in consequence of the sudden forcing up of the soft wax Into the shafts by the enormous pres sure to which It Is subjected. It Is used largely for manufacturing ceresln, which Is employed, together with bees wax, for making wax candles, as well as In the manufacture of phonographic cylinders, and for ninny similar pur poses. . , AN OLD-TIME POSTAL DELIVERY. The Long-Prtayed Letter Brought Joy to Gran tmother'a Heart The arrival of the first batch of let ters after the establishment of rural free delivery In Mansfield, Conn., re called to an aged lady of that town a postal Incident remembered In her family for a hundred aud twenty years. "My mother always cried when she told the story," she said. When my mother was a little girl the narrator went on to have one's letters regularly brought and banded In at the door would have seemed a miracle of privilege; and to get thei without paying postage would bavt been another. Mails were so slow and nncertatn that the safe arrival of an expected letter by any means was an event In a country family, with the postofllce miles away. Sometimes the delivery was helped along by volunteer, carriers a farmer going home from the grist' mill, a with her bargains of lamp oil. West In dian molasses and green tea,. or even a passing peddler with his load of tin ware aud corn brooms. In the old war time the army had post riders, but they were few and far between. My grandfather was a soldier of the Revolution, and grandmother kept the home fire burning here, and provided for their three children as well as she could while be was at the front All summer she had beard no word of him, and when, one autumn day, a man in a military cloak rode to the door on white horse her heart beat quick. "Does Ruth Fuller live here?" he says, holding a thick letter In his hand. "Yes. I am Ruth Fuller." ana grand mother reached eagerly for the letter, for she saw the address in he bus band's handwriting. "The postage Is two shillin's." Grandmother's countenance fell. There wasn't so much money In the house. "Guess you don't know me," remark ed the man, opening bis cape and tip ping back his cocked hat, but still hold ing the letter. She knew him then an enemy capable of mean revenge. "Ah, yes, yon remember Tom Tur ner, and bow he' asked yoo to marry him, and you give him 'No, I thankee. and took John Fuller. I wasn't good enough to marry ye, but I'm good enough now to bring ye letters from the man that did; and I'm good enough to charge ye a steep price foe goin" out r ray way. So band over your two sblUlo's aud take your letter." The poor woman told him she had no money. To te held up in tms nearness aad Insulting way was a bitter hurt to bear. Her grief was deeper than her resentment but she was too proud to let the cruel fellow see her weep. I will get you a good dinner," she said, "and feed your horse, and give you a pair of nice long stockings." It waa a humiliation to plead wttn Tom Turner, but she could do no less. "Money or nothln'," be says. And be put the letter In bis pocket and rode away. Grandmother went Into the house and sat down and cried; and her chil dren, clinging about her, cried, too. During her long months of waltlug, at odd hours she bad spun, and woven cloth, and sewed garments, and knit ted woolen stockings for John's win ter comfort, trusting to find some way to send them to him. Now the messen ger bad come and gone who could at least have carried word, and he had refused even to give her ber hus band's letter. ' "Ma, God knows what the bad man did," gobbed one of the little ones. "He knows what nice things you've made for pa, and He'll seud a good man next time." . . The baby's thought relieved the mother's despair, and the three lonely hearts prayed and waited anxiously for the "next time;" and, sure enough, before winter came they saw the same white horse " galloping toward the house. "He's brought the letter back!" they all cried out together, for they believed the rider to be the same man. Grandmother rushed from the door with all ber children. The horseman held out the same letter, and as he gravely put it Into her hands she glanced up to his face and screamed tor Joy. "John! .It is you!" It did not take her husband long to tell the rest of the story. Tom Turner had returned to headquarters, and ono night, made talkative by an extra ra tlon of rum, he had bragged how he "got even" with an old sweetheart who Jilted him. His exploit reached the ears of his commanding officer, who took away his commission and put my grandfather In his place. The new post rider had brought his own letter to his wife. It was the first rural free delivery In Mansfield town.-Youth's Companion, , MAKES 840,000 A DAY. Senator Clark Bald to Get t hat Income from Hla Copper Mines. William' Quigley, known familiarly among his numerous friends ns "Colo nel," formerly a resident of Cleveland, but now of Chicago, Is at the uoiien den. As his friends express It, "Colo nel" Quigley makes money so easily that It looks simple, yet at the same time he Is one of the most approach able men In the world. Colonel" Quigley turned bis conver sation onto the marvelous success and wealth of Senator Clark, the copper king, In the lobby of the hotel the oth er night "A uood-size-up of Senator CiarK, said Mr. Quigley, "Is obtained when it is truthfully stated that he Is a man who not only laughs at great trusts, but simply snaps his Angers .In their faces. The powerful copper trust known as the Amalgamated Copper Company, w;ould like very much to get Senator Clark and his vast interests under their control. This man, how ever, not only repudiates all advances, but hurls back defiance. He rolls In wealth that It would be folly to try to compute, and cares ab solutely nothing for any man. His copper mines are the most wonderful lu the United States, besides which the famous Calumet aud Hecla mines fade almost Into insignificance, and they net him an Income of easily $40,000 a day lie purchased this tract of land around Jerome, Arl., after it had been passed up as a poor Investment by a number of mining experts. "It has since developed to be liter ally a mountain of copper. The working shafts are now down over U00 reet, ana diamond drill sent Into the earth shows that the copper extends to a dls tance of over 2,000 feet "There is no Jerome mining stock on the market, for Senator Clark owns the whole thing mines, machinery, ware houses, and has his own railway. His possessions are enormous, and he Is truly a great rival of Rockefeller and the Standard Oil Company, as far as wealth is concerned. 'Speaking about the value of the mines at Jerome, Senator Clark was approached In New York with refer ence to purchasing the Arizona clalras. His reply was $10,000,000, but It doubtful If he would sell the mines for anywhere near that figure." Cleveland Plain Dealer. . 1 Comets of Century. During the nineteenth century 235 new comets were aiscoverea, against sixty-two In the eighteenth cen tury. The nineteentn century aiso De- held a greater number of large and brilliant comets than did Its predeces sor. The finest of these were the com ets of 1811. 1843, 1858, 1881 aud 1882. In the year 1800 only one periodical comet was known, Halley s; now man are known, of which at least seventeen have been seen at more than one return of perihelion. All from a Street Lamp. In London they have a street lamp which provides a stream of boiling wa ter and dispenses tea, coffee and cocoa, The heat of the lamp warms the water, and by dropping a cent In the slot gallon of boiling water may be bad. Two cents brings you milk, sugar, tea, coffee, etc. The light and heat are pro vided by the city, which co-operates with private corporation that furnish es the rest An old colored woman was "taking on" yesterday afternoon over the death of ber baby as she was going from the chorch to the hack which was to take her to the cemetery. A white woman, who knew her, happened to be passing tnd said, sympathetically: "Which one of your children Is dead. Aunt Eliza?" "The one in the hearse, moaned the negress. Every nnmarrted person Is told least ten times a day that be doesn know what trouble Is. "Is there any cure for Jealousy V Yes." "What?" "The faith cure.' Chicago Post Mrs. GaswellThe Czar of Russia, now has four daughters. Mr. Gaswell Oh, the dear little Czardlues '-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Mother Where's papa? Flossie He's downstairs. Mother What's he doing? Flossie His bicycle is out of bread, and he's giving It some more! Outside the Fence: Swlpesey Did youse see de last baseball game? Shorty Yes, all but de last Inning. Dens hen de limb broke. Ohio State Jour nal. Her Mother Edith, don't you thluk you are getting too old to play with lit tle boys? Edith No, mamma; the old er 1 get the better I like them. Tit- Bits. There are forty counties In our State," remarks a Texas paper, "that resemble heaven In at least one import- nt particular there isn't a lawyer In any of them." "I should thluk the Spink girls would feel the disgrace. Their father has been proved a common thief." "Nothing of the sort Why, he appropriated nearly quarter of a million." Iloueless Task: I.arry Bedad! 01 don't think much av this coal oil exter ruinator for mosquitoes. Denny Yea don't? Larry No; It takes too long to dip alch wan In th' oil separately. Chi cago News. "I hope you appreciate the fact, sir, that lu marrying my daughter you mar ry a large-hearted, generous girl?" "I do, sir" (with emotion); "and I hope she Inherits those qualities from ber fata-er."-Tit-BHs. Diplomacy: First Boy-It's 6 o'clock. Let's go home. Second Boy Mt! If we go home now we'll git licked fer stayln' so late. If we stay till eight we'll git hugged aud kissed fer not beln' drowned. Puck. 'Crawford Did your wife have a good time In the country? Crabsbaw No the only thing that reconciled her was the thought that she stayed away two weeks longer than the woman next door. Town Topics. Hands Off: "What have you got that sign, 'Hands Off,' posted outside your works for?" asked the curious Individ ual. "Because," returned the .Jocular mill owner, "my men are on strike." Philadelphia Record. Smoke aud Fire: "Yes, It certainly Is a warm family; the son smokes and the daughter scorches." "How about the father and mother?" "Well, the old man fumes and the old woman blazes out at all hours." Chicago News. Sympathy: "Yls; Mike's on a shtrlke. Tis wan av thlm sympat'etic shtrlkes, where they sympat'ize wit' other mln that's shtriklu'." "An' so ye have to, take In washin'?': "Yls; 1 have to sym patl'ze wit' the chlldher!" Puck. Benny's Hedge: "Benny Bloobumper, how do we know that the moon Is two hundred and forty thousand miles dis tant from the earth?" Hentiy( alarmed at the teacher's manner) replied Y-y- you Bald so yourself, sir. Tit-Bits. No Monkey Business: He offered to act as her escort, but she declined the offer. "You are as full of airs as baud-organ," he spitefully declared, Possibly," she retorted; "but, Just the same, I don't go with a crank." Chi cago News. Her Reason: "Did you ever try any of these health foods?" the sympathetic friend asked of the dyspeptic lady, Yes," she replied, "and I'm not going to eat any more of thein." "Why not? Because they spoil niy appetite." Cleveland Plain Dealer. His Preference: "Would you rather have something else than a piece of pie?" asked the kind neighbor of little Freddie, who had run an erraud Tor ber. . "Yes, ma'am," said Freddie, nromntlv: "I wu'd ruther hav' two pieces." Ohio State Journal. Not the Grammatical Kind: "What Is conjunction?" asked the teacher. "That which Joins together," was the prompt reply. "Give an Illustration,' eald the teacher. The up-to-date girl hesitated and blushed. "The marrlago service," she said at last Chicago Post No Time to Lose: President (of oil well syndicate) Advertise that we have a few shares of new stock to sell at one dollar a share. Clerk When shall I put the ads lu? "At once. We've got to get money enough together to pay the next dividend. 'Detroit tree Press. Mistress Margaret, I told you could not permit you to entertain male callers In the kitchen. You had a man there last evening. Maid I know It mum; but that was Tim Murphy, tur'ble bashful feller. Ye'd never Injuce nl 111 to stlp luto the parlor. Boston Transcript Harry Wonder why It was that Frank and Bertha broke off their en gagement? I understand It was all ar ranged, even to the marriage day, Dick It was discovered that the wed ding ring was made by non-union labor so the clergyman refused to perfo the ceremony and no other minister In town dares to do It Boston Transcript He Liked It: Wife How do you like my new fall bat? Husband The Idea ot paying big prices for Wife Big prices! V by, I made It myself. Hu baud L'm-yes er as 1 was saying, the Idea of paying big prices for sue monstrosities as the milliners are show ing! Now, your bat is a work of art Looks as If It came from Paris. Beauti ful, my dear! New York Weekly. Binding an Agreement In China. When you engage a servant or make a bargain in China It is not considered binding until "the fastening penny" has been paid. Although his bad faith is notorious in some matters, yet to do him Justice, when once this coin ha bien paid by yoo the Chinaman, coolie or shopman, will generally stick to bis bargain, even If the result to him be loss. When It Is announced that a woman will entertain Informally. It means that she will buy things ready made at the baker's. GEO. P. CROWELL, Pnceesnor to F.. I.. Smith, Oldest Established House in the valley. DEALER IN Dry Goods, Groceries, Boots and bhoes, Hardware, lour and reed, etc. Ti; nU-eataliliRhed house wi 1 con tinue to pay cash for all its goods; it pays no rent; it employs a ciera. mu does not have to divide with a partner. All dividends are made with customers in the way ot reasonable prices. Davenport Bros. Are running their two mills, planer and box factory, ana can nu orders tor Lumber Boxes, Wood and Posts ON SHORT NOTICE. DAVIDSON FRUIT CO. , SHIPPERS OP HQOD RIVER'S FAMOUS FRUITS. PACKKR8 OF TH1 Hood River Brand of Canned Fruits. MANUFACTURERS OF Boxes and Fruit Packages DEALERS IN Fertilizers & Agricultural Implements THE REGULATOR LINE. Dalles, Portland & Astoria Navigation Co. DALLES BOAT Leaves; Oak Street Dock, Portland 7 A. M. y PORTLAND BOAT Leaves Dalles 7 A. M. cept Sunday. Daily Ex . $TEAMERS ' Regulator, Dallei City, Reliance. WHITE COLLAR LINE. The Dalles-Portland Route Sir. "Bailey Gatzert," Bstwean PortUnd, Th Dalle and May Points TIME CARD Leaven Portland Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays at 7 a. m. Arrive! The Dalles, si ma day. tp.in. Jeaves ine jjaiies wiinuny, Meuiiesimya 111a Fridaysat 7 a. ra. Arrives rurllaiid.sanie day, 4 p. m. This ronta has the grandest scenic attractions on earth. Str. "Tahoma," Dally Round Trips, except Sunday. TIME CARD. Leave Portland. ..7 a.m. I Leave Astoria.....7a.m. iAndlnt and oftice. toot ot Alder street. Both phones, Main Sol, Portland, Or. E. W. CRICHTON, Agent, Portland. JOHN M. F1LLOON, Agent, The Dalles. A. J. TAYLOK, Agent, Astoria, J, C. W YATT, Agent, Vancouver. WOLFORD & WVKK8, Agts., White Salmon. PRATHER & BARNES, Agonts at Hood River mi OOFftHN SiaorT Line axd union Pacific vo i ..So 6n1t Lake, Denver, Chicago Ft. Worth.Omaha, PortUnd Special Kansas City, Ht. Bpeelal 11:26 a.m. Louis,Chictigoand 1:06 p. aa. Kast. Walla Walla Wis. Bpotan ton,8poknc,Min- Portland Flyer nes.polls.Bt. Paul, Flyer 1:27 p.m. Duluth, MUwriv 4:80a.m. aee.ChlctgolEast Bait Lake, Denver, Mall and Ft. Worth, Omaha, Mall ana Express Kansas City, Ht. Express 11:42 p.m. l,oms, Chicago and i.la. to. East OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE IKOH PORTLAND. 1:00 p.m. , All sailing dates 4:00 p. m. subject to change For Ban Francisco bail every 6 daya Dally Calombia River 4 00 p. m. Ex. Holiday Steamers. Ex. eundar till) p.m. Saturday To Astoria and Way lu ou p. m. Landings. :45a.m. Wlllsaittle ller. 4;. m. Ex. Sunday Oregon City, New. Bx.8uadar berg, Ralem, Inde pendence A Wej landings. T:00a. m. Willamette aad Yaat- ID p.m. Tuts., Thar. kill alters. Hon., Wed. aad Uk and tti. Oregon City, Day ton, A Way Leud- tog. :4Sa m. Wuiameflt Hirer. 4:0f).m. Toes.. Thmr. Hon., Wed, and Sal. Portland to Corral, and Fri. Ha Way Land- tnga. t. Rlparla Bnaai RiTia. Le.Lewunoa t : a ra. Rlparla to Lewislon t a ra. dally ,uiiy Foe low rates and other Information write ( A. L. CRAIO, General Passenger Agent. Portland, Or. e BAOLKT, a (eat. Ho4 Btver.