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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 4, 1901)
I " SIT Jhe Doctor's By Hesba CHAPTER X.-(Continued.) Without a light I went np to my own room, where the moon that had shone upou me Id my last night'i rlile, was gleaming brightly through the window. I Intended to reflect and deliberate, but I waa worn out. I flung myself down on the bed, but could not have remained awake for a single moment. I fell Into a deep sleep, which lasted till morning. When I awoke my poor mother waa sitting beside me, looking very ill and aorrowful. She had slipped a pillow un der my head, and thrown a ahawl icrosa me. I got np with a bewildered brain, and a general sense of calamity, which I could not clearly define. "Captain Carey's man brought a letter from Julio Just now," she said, taking tt from her pocket; "he said there waa no answer." Her eyelids were still red from weep ing, and her roice faltered aa "- might break out Into sobs any moment. As soon as my mother waa gone I opened Julia's letter. It began: "My Dear Martin I know all now. Johanna has told me. When you apoke to me so hurriedly and unexpectedly, this afternoon, I could not bear to hear an other word. But now. I am calm, and I can think It all over quite quietly. "It la an Infatuation, Martin. Johanna aaya so aa well as-1, and aha la sever wrong. It la a sheer Impossibility that yon, In your sober aenses, ahould love strange person, whose very name you do not know. A Dobree could not make an adventuress his wife. Then you have seen ao little of her. Three times, since the week you were there In March! What Is that compared to the years we have spent together? It Is Impossible that In your heart of hearta you ahould love her more than me, "I cannot give up the thought of our home, Just finished and ao pretty. It was ao pleasant thia afternoon, before you came In with your dreadful thunder bolt I waa thinking what a good wife I would be to you; and how, In my own house, I should never be tempted Into those tiresome tempers you have aeen in me aometlmea. You could not-know how much I Jove you, how my life la bound np in you, or you would haw been proof agalnat that person in Bark. . "I think it right to tell you all thia now. though it is not In my nature to make professions and demonstrations of my love. Think of me, of yourself, of your poor mother, You were never self ish, and you can do noble things. I do not say It would be noble to marry me; but It would be a noble thing to conquer an ignoble love. How could Martin Do bree fall In love with an unknown adven turess? "I shall remain In the house all day to morrow, and if you can come to see me, feeling that this has been a dream of folly from which you have awakened, l will not ask you to own it. That you come at all will be a sign to me that you wish It forgotten and blotted out be tween us, aa if it had never been. "With true, deep love for you, Martin, believe me still "Your affectionate "JULIA." I pondered over Julia's letter aa I dressed. There waa not a word of re sentment In it. It was full of affectlon--ate thought for ns all. But what rea soning! I had not known Olivia so long as I bad known her, therefore I could not love her as truly I There waa ao longer any hesitation in my mind as to what I must do. Julia knew all now. I had told her distinctly of my love for Olivia, and aha wonld not believe it. She appeared wishful to hold , me to my engagement In spite of it; at any rate, ao I Interpreted her letter. I did not auppose that I ahould not live It down, thia Infatuation, as they chose to call It. I might hunger and thirst, and be on the point of perishing; then my Datura would turn to other nutriment, and assimilate It to its contracted and stultified capacities. I went mechanically through the rout ine of my morning's work, and it was late In the afternoon before I could get away to ride to the Vale. My mother knew where I was going, and gaxed wist fully Into my face, but without otherwise asking me any questions. At the last moment, aa I touched Madam's bridle, I looked down at her atandlng on the door step. "Cheer up, mother!" I said, al most gaily, "It will all come right." I found Julia atanding by the fireplace, and leaning against It, as If she could not stand alone. When I went up to her and took her band, she flung her arms around my neck, and clung to me, In a passion of tears. It was some minutes before he could recover her self-command. I had never seen her abandon herself to auch a paroxysm before. "Julia, my poor girl!' I said, "I did not think you would take it ao much to heart a this." "I shall come all right directly," she sobbed, sitting down, and trembling from head to foot. "Johanna aaid you would come, but I waa not sure." "Yea, I am here," I answered, with a very dreary feeling about me. "That la enough," said Julia; "you need not say a word more. Let us forget It, both of us. You will only give me your promise never to see her or speak to her again." "Olivia quite understands about my en gagement to you," I aaid. "I told her at once that we were going to be married, and that I hoped she would find a friend in you." "A friend in me, Martin!" ahe exclaim ed, in a tone of indignant surprise; "you could not ask me to be that!" "Not now, I suppose," I replied; "the girl is aa Innocent and blameless aa any girl living; but I dare say you would sooner befriend the moat good-for-nothing Jezebel in the Channel Islands." "Yes, I would," she aaid. "Aa Inno cent girl Indeed! I only wish she had been killed when she fell from the cliff." "Hush!" I cried, shuddering at the bare mention of Olivia's death; "you do not know what you say. It Is worse than useless to talk about her. I came to aak you to think no more of what paased be tween ns yesterday. "But you are going to persist In your Infatuation," aaid Julia; "you can never deceive me. I know you too well. Oh, 1 see that yon still think the same of her "You kttow nothing about her," I re plied. "And I shall take care I never do," she interrupted spitefully. "So rt la of no use to go on quarreling about her," I contiuued. "I made np my mind before I came here that I must see as little as possible of her for the future. You must understand, Julia, ah has never given ne a particle of reason to suppose ahe loves me. "But you are still la lore with her? Martin," ahe continued, with flsshing yea, and a rising tone In her voice. fjllemnia Stretton which, like the first shrill moan of the wind, presaged a storm, "I wilt never marry you until you can say, on your word of honor, that you love that person no longer, and are ready to promise to hold no further communication with her. Ohl I know what my poor aunt has had to endure, and I will not put up with it." "Very well, Julia," I answered, con trolling myself as well as I could, "I have only oue more word to say on this subject. I love Olivia, and as far as I know myself, I shall love her aa long as I live. I did not come here to give you any reason for aupposlng my mind is changed as to her. If you consent to be my wife, I will do my best to be moat true, most faithful to you. But my mo tive for coming now la to tell you some particulars about your property, which my father made known to me only last night." It was a miserable task for me; but 1 told her simply the painful discovery I had made. She sat listening with a dark and sullen face, but betraying not a spark of resentment, ao far aa her loss of for tune waa concerned. "Yes," she said bitterly, when I had finished, "robbed by the father and jilt ed by the son." "I would give my life to cancel the wrong," I aaid. "It ia ao easy to talk," she replied, with deadly coldnesa of tone and manner. "I am ready to do whatever you choose," I urged. "It Is true my father haa robbed you; but It is not true that I have jilted you. I did not know my own heart till a word from Captain Carey revealed It to me; and I told you frankly, partly because Johanna Insist ed upon it, and partly because I be lieved It right to do so. If you demand It, I will even promise not to see Olivia again, or to hold direct communication with her. Surely that ia all you ought to require from me." "No," she replied vehemently; "do you suppose I could become your wife while you maintain that yon love another wom an better than me? You must have a very low opinion of me." "Would you have me tell you a false hood?" I rejoined, with vehemence equal to hera. "You had better leave me," she said, "before we bate one another. I tell you I have been robbed by the father and Jilted by the aon. Good-bye, Martin." "Good-bye, Julia," I replied; but I still lingered, hoping she would speak to me again. I waa anxioua to hear what ahe would do against my father. She looked at me fully and angrily, and aa I did not move, she swept out of the room, with a dignity which I had never seen In her be fore. I retreated towards the house door, but c lid not make good my escape with out i countering Johanna. "Well, Martin?" ahe said. "It Is all wrong," I answered, "Julia persists in it that I am jilting her." "All the world will think you have be haved very badly," she said. I rode home again, Sark lying in full rlnw hefora me: and. In snlte of the dark nesa of my prospects, I felt Intensely glad to be free to win my Olivia. Four daya paased without any sign from Julia, My father had gone off on a visit and my mother and I had the house to ourselves; and, in spite of her fret tings, we enjoyed considerable pleasure during the temporary lull. There were, however, sundry warnings out of doors which foretold tempest. I met cold glances and sharp inquiriea from old friends, among whom sotae rumors of our separation were floating. There was sufficient to justify suspicion my fata er'a absence, Julia's prolonged sojourn with the Careys, and the postponement of my voyage to England. I began to fancy that even the women servants flouted at me. CHAPTER XI. One morning we received word that my father was lying 111 at a hotel in Jer sey. Captain Carey at once went with me Is response to the message. Julia, too, had been sent for, but ahe tttached the hotel In a separate car. The landlady received ua with por tentous face. Dr. Collaa had spoken very seriously Indeed of his patient, and aa for herself, she had not the smallest hope. I heard Julia aob, and aaw her lift her handkerchief to her eyes behind her veil. Captain Carey looked very much fright ened. He was a man of quick sympa thies, and nervous about his own life into the bargain, so that any serioua illness alarmed him. Aa for myself, I was in a miserable condition of mind. We were not admitted into my father's room for half an hour, as he sent word he must get up his strength for the Inter view. Julia and myself alone were al lowed to aee him. He was propped up in bed with a number of pillows; with the room darkened by enetian blinds, and a dim green twilight prevailing. which cast a sickly hue over his really pallid face. Ilia abundant white hair fell lankly about his hend, Instead of being in crisp curie as usual. I waa about to feel hla pulse for him, but he waved me off. "No, my son," he aaid, "jny recovery Is not to' be desired. I feel that I have nothing now to do but to die. It ia the only reparation in my power. I would far rather die than recover." I had nothing to say to that; Indeed, 1 had really no answer ready, ao amaaed waa I at the tone he had taken. But Julia began to aob again, and pressed paat me, ainking down on the chair by hia aide and laying her hand upon one of his pillows. "Julia, my love," he continued feebly, "you know how I have wronged you; but you are a true Christian. You will for give your uncle when he ia dead and cone. I should like to be buried in Guernsey with the other Dobreca." Neither did Julia answer, save by sobs. I stepped towards the window to draw up the blinds, but he stopped me, speaking in a much stronger voice than before. "Leave them alone," he aaid. "I have no wish to aee the light of day. A dis honored man -doea not care to ahow his face. I hare aeen no one aince I left Guernsey, except Oollaa." "I think you are alarming yourself needlessly," I answered. "You know you are fidgety about your own health. Let me prescribe for you. Surely know aa much aa Collaa." "No, no, let me die," he aaid plain tively ; "then you can all be happy. hare robbed my only brother's only child, who waa dear to me as my own daugh ter. I cannot hold up my head after that. I ahould die gladly if you twa were but reconciled to one another." By thia time Julia'a hand had reached hla, and waa resting in it fondly. I never knew a man gifted with auch pow er ore women and their susceptibilities as he had. My mother herself would appear to forget all her unhappiness, If he only smiled upon her. "My poor, dear Julia." he murmurea; my poor child!" "Uncle." she said, checking her sobs by a great effort, "if you Imagine I ahould tell any one Johanna Carey even wnai you have done, you wrong me. The name of Dobree ia aa dear to me aa to Mar tin, and he was willing to marry a woman he detested In order to shield it. No, you are quite safe from disgrace aa far aa I am concerned." "Heaven bless you, my own Julia!" he ejaculated fervently. "I knew your no ble nature. But will you not be equally generous to Martin? Cannot you for give him as you do me?" Uncle," she cried, "I could never, never marry a man who aaya he lovea some one else more than me." "I ahould think not, my girl!" he aaid, In a aoothing tone; "but Martin will very soon repent. He la a fool just now, but he will be wise again presently. He haa known you too long not to know your worth." "Julia," I aaid, "I do know how good you are. You have alwaya been gener ous, and you are so now. I owe you aa much gratitude as my father doea, and anything I can 'do to prove It I am ready to do thia day." Will you marry her before wa leava Jersey?" asked my father. "Yea, I answered. J The word slipped from me almoat un awares, yet I did not wish to retract It. She was behaving so bobly and gener ously towards us both that I was willing to do anything to make her happy. "Then, my love," he aaid, "you hear what Martin promises. All's well that ends well. Only make up your mind to put your proper pride away, and we shall all be aa happy as we were before." Never! . she cried indignantly. I would not marry Martin here, hurriedly and furtively; no, not If you were dying, uncle!'1 But, Julia, If I were dying, and wish ed to see you united before my death!" he Insinuated. A sudden light broke up on me. It waa an ingenious plot one at which I could not help laughing, mad as I was. Julia's pride waa to be saved, and an immediate marriage between ua effected, under cover of my father'a dan gerous illness. I did smile, In spite of my anger, and he caught It, and smiled back again. I think Julia became auspicious, too. 'Martin," ahe said, sharpening her voice to address me, "do you think your father is in any danger?" "No, I do not," I answered, notwith standing his gestures and frowns. 'Then that is at an end," she said. "I was almost foolish enough to think that I would yield. You don t know what this disappointment is to me. Everybody will be talking of it, and aome of them will pity me, and the rest laugh at me. I am ashamed of going out of doors any where. Oh, it is too bad; I cannot bear It." She was positively writhing with agi tation, and tears, real tears I am sure, started Into my father's eyes. My poor little Julia!" he aaid; "my darling! But what can be done if you will not marry Martin t "He ought to go away from Guernsey," she sobbed. "I should feel better if I was quite sure I should never see him, or hear of other people aeeing him." "I will go," I said. "Guernsey will be too hot for me when all this ia known." "And, uncle," she pursued, speaking to him, not me, "he ought to promise me to give up that girl. I cannot set him free to go and marry her a stranger and adventuress. She will be his ruin. I think, for my sake, he ought to give her up." "So he ought, and so he will, my love," answered my father. "When he thinks of all wa owe to you, he will promise you that." I pondered over what our family owed to Julia for some mlnutea. It was truly a very great debt. Though I bad brought her Into perhaps the most painful posi tion a woman could be placed in, she was generoualy sacrificing her just re sentment and revenge against my fath er'a dishonesty, in order to secure our name from blot. On the other hand, I had no reason to suppose Olivia loved me, and I should do her no wrong. I felt that, whntever it might coat me, I must consent to Julia's stipulation. "It la the hardest thing you could ask me," I.said, "but I will give her up. On one condition, however; for I must not leave her without friends. I shall tell Tardlt If he ever needs help for Olivia he must apply to me through my moth er." "There could be no harm In that," ob served my father. "How aoon shall I leave Guernsey?" I asked, "He cannot go until you are well again, uncle," she answered. "I will stay here to nurse you, and Martin must take-care of your patients. We will send him word a day or two before we return, and I should like him to be gone before we reach home." (To be continued.) RICHEST NATION ON EARTH. aw Commonwealth In the Antipodes Can Koaet the DUt notion. It will surprise many to learn that the new commonwealth of Australia Is the richest nation on the face of the globe. There is not as much wealth there In the aggregate as may be found In some of tbe older countries, but the per capita possessions of the Austra lians far exceed those of other people In Europe or America. The common wealth Is a continental Island, rich In land fit for settlement and Industry. Its national prosperity Is dependent upon no single product, but embraces pastoral, agricultural and mining In dustries In almost equal degree, and to these are rapidly belug added manu factures. Last year the total value of the prod ucts of the colonies forming the Austra lian commonwealth amounted to fully S550.000.000, of which their pastoral In dustries represented $150,000,000, their agricultural $140,000,000, their mineral products fully $100,000,000 and their manufacturing and other Industries the remaining $100,000,000. The wool alone from the 120,000,000 sheep raised In 1000 waa worth $100,000,000. The mineral resources of Australia cannot even be guessed at In the last forty-eight years the country has pro duced gold to the value of $1,800,000, 000," In the last twenty silver to the value of $150,000,000. Diamonds are found In one district, rubles In another. There Is at least one emerald mine In New Svuth Wales, and opals equal to any In tbe world are found In Queensland, while the pearl fisheries of the northwestern coast produce a considerable portion of tbe most valuable pearls of com merce. Chicago Chronicle. Tbe bird on a woman's bat has the wings of riches. LAZIEST MAN 18 DEAD. PASSED HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN AN DOVER, CONN. Never Worked from His Birth to Hla Death, larentei a Valuable) Device to Save Ills Own Labor and Finally Sought an Easy Demise, The laziest man In New England Ii dead. Joseph A. Bingham was 50 yeara old and never In the memory of any ac quaintance bad he done a stroke of work. He wag born, reared, lived and died in Andover, Conn. Bingham was so lazy, aaya the Boston Post, that the sight of a woodpile, saw-horse and saw made his head ache. The sight of men at work caused blm to have tits. He usually took them under the shade of a big elm In front of the town tavern. He never washed his face, combed his hair, wore' a collar nor laced bis shoes. All these little minor things required some degree of animation, and Bing ham abdorrcd animation. Born of well-to-do parents, he was supported by their wealth as long as they lived, then a legacy was left him in trust, which the selectmen doled out to him. He boarded at Andover inn for years, until his money was gone, then the scene shifted to a little bouse pro vided by the selectmen. Here It was charged that he was too lazy to cut th8 wood given him, too lazy to draw water from the near-by well, too lazy to tie up his shoes. It was too much work to put on a collar, and as for cooking a meal with material all given him well, he would starve rather than do It. Several years ago, when be became a town charge, an effort was made to get work out of him, but It proved a flat failure. He was let out to a far mer to assist in threshing grain. Bing ham was given the position of taking away the shucked straw after It haa passed through the whirling thresher. He watched the machine work for a few minutes end then, with a hammer and nails and two or three pieces of board, rigged up a device which, when attached to a crnnk on the feeder, serv ed to carry the discharged straw away to the dump. This single effort pros trated Bingham and he took a nap forthwith. Some one recognized the value of the new device, and the Idea was patented In Bingham's name as a joke. A short time later an agent for a threshing ma chine company came to Andover and woke Bingham up. The agent found him under his favorite tree asleep, as usual. The agent talked; Bingham look ed disturbed. The agent waited the use of the patent; Bingham wanted to be left alone. Finally the exasperated agent, getting no replies from the lazy man, raised his bids by degrees from $50 to $500. Bingham turned over and settled himself to take a well-earned rest. Then the agent gave him a paper to sign, but Bingham was sleeping the sleep of the weary. The agent gave up and left town. BIngbam slept on Ills sleep was never disturbed by the thought of the fortune that knocked at his door. ' For the first time In 25 years be look ed Into a mirror. What he saw there was Ills own reflection. He walked out and deliberately began a nap In front of an approaching train. It ended his life easily. No exertion on his part was needed, as there would have been If be hud used a pistol, rope or poison. ' NEW SEEDLESS WATERMELONS. Secret o Kaisinic ih-m Said to Have 1'een Mscorered in Colorado, Former State Senator Swlnk has been working on the seedless melon proposi tion many years. During the long win ter nights he sat up and wrestled with the great problem, "How can It be done?" Often daylight found him ex amining minutely nnd microscopically the seeds he had cut and backed and desiccated, In his efforts to determine how to get along without them. - And early one morning about five months ago, so It Is related, Mr. Swink came bounding Into breakfast after one of his nll-nlght sessions and startled his wife and children by shouting In a perfect spasm of glee: "I've got It! I can dolt!" . Then, It Is said, he rushed away with out explaining to his astonished family what on earth be meant. But Mrs. Swlnk Is reputed to have said: "Never mlud; father knows. And as "father" stands quite well In the estimation of his family, the mere knowledge that he knew wag quite suf ficient for all. Swlnk selected certain kinds of seeds, planted them at certain unusual distances apart and began to watch for the first signs of their ger mination. After spying on the plants as they grew. It became known that be hud really put some momentous enter prise on foot. Later Mr. Swluk brought and laid be fore his family and friends a huge, long green melon, and, dividing It clear ly at oue stroke of his big knife, dis played to them the pink Interior of a splendid emerald sphere without a sin gle seed. This wag but tho small be ginning of a great end. Of course, Mr, Swink will not reveal the secret process by which he out off a melon's hope of posterity and at the same time renders Its fleeting presence here most benefl cent and beloved. Denver Post. HE JOINED THE SHOW. Bnt Twenty-four Hoars' Work With out Meep Was Too Mack, "1 haven't been to a circus for forty years," declared the well-known busi ness man with a chuckle, according to the Detroit Free Tress. "The fact Is that I ahvaya feel like leaving town whenever I hear that one is coming, for fear that I might meet the man to whom I hired out as a circus hand in the days when I was young. "I suppose there Is a period In every boy's life when his only ambition is to belong to a circus. I know there was in mine, and I had it satisfied in the shortest time on record. A small jhow had pitched Its tents on tne vll lage green In the little town where I lived, and 1 desired to adopt the pro fession right then and there. I applied to the boss for a job and was accepted on the spot as a razorback. What Is a razoiback? Well, be is a member of the loadlug gang. Yon unload lu the morning aud raise her back at a-lgbt. I was simply appalled by tho amount of work that came my way, followed by such profanity that I never hope to bear again. I was kept en the jump till midnight, when we had tbe outfit all loaded up, and I breathed a sigh of relief, which quickly gave way to oue of despair when tbe boss told me to drive the wagon that bad tbe tents loaded on It In those days tbe only means of traveling was by wagon. " 'Say, mister,' said I, timidly, 'when do we sleep? ' 'Sleep? he roared; 'we don't sleep here!' "I felt that was a fact, aa I knew we had an all-night's ride ahead of us, with tbe weary work of unloading as soon as we did arrive. But, as far as I was concerned, tired nature gave out and I was sound asleep before we bad gone a mile. I awoke Just as day was breaking and found myself on a lonely country road and without the slightest Idea where I was. From a country boy who chanced to come along I learned that the town I was supposed to be beaded for was thirty miles away, and that I was getting farther away from it every minute. When I realized my position my teeth com menced to chatter. But suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to me. " 'Say,' said I to the boy, 'do you want a pass to the show?' " 'You bet,' said he. " 'Well,' said I, 'drive this wagon to the town where the show Is and I will see that you get In. One of our ele phants haa escaped and I have got to capture him.' 'Then I made for home. I never heard what they did to that country boy when he arrived. I hope they didn't kill him." The period of five seconds between a flash of lightning and thunder means that the flash was a mile distant from the observer. Thunder has never been heard over 14 miles from the flash, though artillery has been beard at 120 miles. It Is said to be only a question of time before the Bermuda Islands will sink under the ocean. The geological theory Is that the Islands are merely the remnant of one large Island. The sub sidence within a comparatively recent period has been from 80 to 100 feet, The earth revolves on Its axis once In 24 hours. Millions of years ago the day was 22 hours; millions of years be fore, It was 21 hours. As we look back ward Into time we flndthe earth re volving faster and faster. There was a time, ages ago, long before geology be gins, when the earth was rotating In a day of five or six hours In length. In the remotest past the earth revolved In a day of about five hours. It could revolve no faster than this and remain a single unbroken mass. The Russian people are fond of tea. and efforts are being made to develop Important tea plantations In the Cau casus. Nearly half a century ago It was found that the tea-plant could be grown In gardens on the shores of the Black Sea, but at first It was culti vated only as a curiosity or for orna ment. Since 1890 plantations of con siderable extent have been formed, and while the cultivators have not succeed ed In Imitating the fine flavor of Chi nese, Ceylonese or Indian tens, yet the demand among the peasants for tea of some kind is so great that even the Caucasian variety finds a market. The Russian government Is trying to en courage the cultivation. The city of Fads Is being rapidly sup plied with a system of public clocks worked by compressed air under elec trical control. The entire area of the city Is divided Into sections about a mile and three-quarters In radius, and In the center of each section Is a sub station provided with a reservoir of compressed air, from which alr-plpes extend to all the clocks Included In the section. By means of electro-magnets, energized every minute with currents from a commutator controlled by a master-clock at tbe central station, the alr-plpes are Intermittently connected with the reservoirs, and thus the com pressed air, once every minute, drives forward the hands of the clocks. It Is generally known that some spe cies of birds, are able fo Imitate the songs of other birds, but a more sur prising fact Is related by a French nat uralist, Monsieur Coupln, concerning a sparrow which learned the shrill chant of grasshoppers. The Insects happen ed to be confined In a cage hung be side tbe sparrow's cage, but It was not until a year afterward, when again the bird and the grasshoppers wore neighbors, I hat the sparrow was heard Imitating the notes of the Insects. AH the rest of Its life, and long after the grasshoppers from whom It had takon Its lessons were dead, the sparrow con tinned to Intermingle with Its own songs the peculiar music of Its lost friends. "Pins" Man Ever In Demand. Tbe "plus" man la oue who Is more than appears on tbe surface, bigger than he looks, stronger than he seems, abler thin be shows In ordinary affairs, better than tbe world judges htm, con stantly rising to great occasions and ac complishing more than Is expected of him, writes Victor Smith In the New York Press. There are many such men to whom great occasions never come. There are a few whose "plusness" has a chance to Illuminate the earthy every day. Perhaps the finest type of "plus" man was President Lincoln. Grant, too, was plus. It might be confessed that plus. In the sense used. Is nearly synony mous with successful In commercial life Mr. Morgan U heavily plus. In railroading William K. Vanderbult and Edward U. Harriman have loomed up rather suddenly as plus. Commodore Vanderbllt and Jay Gould were plus. Croker Is plus. Otlell Is plus. In the contracting Hue John B, Mc Donald Is heavily plus. It Is not every man of affairs who can take bold of a $35,000,000 Job and carry It along suc cessfully without losing a pound of flesh from worry. Plus men seldom worry. They have great nerve but ne nerves. tJTcience' fejjlvention She (threatening breach of promise suit) Do you Intend to deny, sir, that you proposed to me? He No; I intend to plead Insanity. Fun. "Aren't you the beggar that I gave a pie to last week?" "I guess I am, mum, but I'm wlllin' to let bygones be by gones. It ain't In my heart to bear no malice." Borem Scribbler, they tell me, Is now quite a literary light I -must call on him. Wigwag Even a literary light may be out when you call, Philadel phia Record. The Don And what part did you take In this disgraceful proceeding of holding Mr. Waters under tbe pump? Undergrad (modestly) His left leg, slr.-TIt-Blts. "John, how dare you come home at one o'clock In the morning?" "W-w-w-h-y, Mary, you can't .'speet me to stay out all night on dollar'n forty cents." Denver Times. 'Twas Ever Thus: "Oh, yes, he adores me. I've known It for a forntlght." "Then what's bothering your' "What's bothering me? Why, I've got to wait for him to find It out!" Brooklyn Life. Billtop You must be doing mighty well, old man, to be able to charter a yacht Capton Not at all; I'm doing It to save money. "How's that?" "I'm going to keep my wife at sea for a whole month." Daisy Wbai do you think? Claries went out and sang at an entertainment In a private Insane asylum.' Edle Did she say whether they showed their In sanity much? Dalsy-Oh, yes; they en cored ber three times. Suobbins I should Ihlnk you'd be afraid of having that big dog around you all the time. If I bad him, I should be afraid all the time be would go mad. Suubbius But he doesn't have to live with you, you know. Boston Tran scrlpt- Patlcnce Isn t basket-ball a very rough game? Patrice Very. "Well, why do girls learu to play It then?" "Why, it fits a girl for society func tions, when she has to fight her way to the refreshment table." Yonkers Statesman. Mistress Nurse, you really ought to use a thermometer In baby's bath to get the right warmth! Nurse (airily) O, that's all right If the water's too 'ot he turns red; if It's too cold he turns blue. That's all you want to know, mum! English Humor. "It Is sad to see this mercenary spirit so flagrantly manifested In politics," said the earnest citizen. "Yes," an swered Senator Sorghum. "I have fought against It all I could, but It's no use. 1 can't get people to vote my way without payln' emj' Washington Star. Mistress (to cook) But why do you want to leave, Mary? Cook I don't like tbe cookery, mum. Mistress Why, you cook the things yourself! Cook Yes, I know, mum, but I'm only a plalu cook and I thought when I came here that you would make some tasty dishes now and again, mum. Magistrate I am told that you have already been convicted fourteen times on this same charge. Aren't you asham ed to have to acknowledge to that? Prisoner No. your worship. I don'i think no man oughter be ashamed of 'Is conwlctlons. Magistrate Two months, without the option of a fine. I'ick-Me-Up. "It's a little annoying to have to get up in the middle of the night and look for burglars," said Mr. Meekton, "but Henrietta seems to enjoy having me do so." "What would you do If you really found a burglar?" "Well I'm so kind-hearted that Ira afraid that I would be too lenient I think I'd open the door and tell him that if he didn't get out quietly Henrietta would come down and attend to his case." He was thoroughly happy when he entered the front door. with a package In his baud and exclaimed: "I've got something here for the woman I love better than all the world." "John," she said sadly, "1 don't object to extrava gance ordinarily, but I do object to you buying expensive presents for the cook." But then, you see, she judged him by his appetite, not his heart Dwiver Times. A Georgia singer complains that the printer murdered bis verses In a cur rent publication. He says that he wrote: . A little wife to wait. In the rosy twilight late. With the blooms thick at the gate. But the stanza appeareJ In print as follows: A little wife to wait. In the rosy twilight late, With the broomstick at tbe gate. " Atlanta Constitution. ; Pat bad secured lodgings In tbe town and gone to bed early. The wind was blowing a terrific gale, and, as the house did not stand very securely, the landlord was rather anxious about Its safety. He sent a servant to arouse Pat, who was sleeping soundly. When at last the sleeper awakened he sat up In bed and rubbed bis eyes. "What's the matter?" be asked. "Don't you bear the wind?" asked the servant "We're afraid the house will blow down." Turning over and drawing the clothes more tightly around him, Pat replied: "Go and tell your master the huuse doesn't belong to me." Long Oil Pipe IJne In Russia, The Kussian government has sanc tioned tbe laying of a pipe line for oil from Baku to Batum, on the Black Sea, a distance of 5C.1 miles. The project has been discussed by successive min isters for fifteen years. The govern ment however, Insists that the piping and Mdiviuli uwi.tiery shall all be manufactured In Russia, which will de lay the work until 1903 or 1004. It must be heavenly to be a baby and b privileged to screw tip your face and bowl whenever people whom yog don't like speak to you. GEO. P. CROWELL, Successor to E. L. Bmtlh, Oldetl Established House in the valley.J DEALER IN Drv Goods, Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Hardware, . Flour and Feed, etc. Ti,;- Mfi.iiripd Imiifift will con- AIJO V1U vrmui'"" . , - A nn moVi for all itfl sTOoai: it 1 pays no rent; it employs a clerk, but does not have to divide with a partner. All dividends are made with customers in the way of reasonable prices. Davenport Bros. Are running their two mills, planer and box factory, -and can All orders for Lumber 6 Boxes, Wood and Posts ON SHORT NOTICE. DAVIDSON FRUIT CO. BIT1PPRR8 Of HOOD RIVER'S FAMOUS FRUITS. PACKERS OF TUB Hood River Brand of Canned Fruits. MANVFACTTRERS OP Boxes and Fruit Packages DKALERS IN Fertilizers & Agricultural Implements. THE REGULATOR LINE. Dalles, Portland & Astoria Navigation Co. DALLES BOAT Leaves Oak Street Dock, Portland 7 A. M. and II P. M. PORTLAND BOAT Leaves Dalles 7 A. M. and 3 P. M. Dally Except Sunday.. STEAMERS Regulator, Dalles City, Reliance. WHITE COLLAR LINE. Str. " Tahoma," Dally Round Trips, except Sunday. TIKE CARD. Leave Portland. ..7 a.m. I Leave Aoria.....7a.ra. The Dalles-Portland Route Str. "Bailey Catzert," Dally Round Trips, except Monday. VANCOUVER, CASCADE LOCKS, ST. MAR. TIN'S HPRINGH, HOOD RIVEH, WHITE SALMON, LYLEand THE DALLES. TIME CARD. Leave Portland...? a.m. I Leave Dalles 8:30 p.m. ArriveTheDalleaSp.m. ArrivePortlandlOp.m. Mmmlm thm Vary Bmmt. This route has the grandest scenic attractions on earth. titinday trip a leading feature. Landing and office, loot ol Alder street. Both 'phones, Main Hoi, Portland, Or. E. W. CRtCHTON, Agent, Portland. JOHN M. FILLOON, Agent, The Dalles. A. J. TAYLOR, Agent, Astoria. J. C. WYATT, Agent, Vancouver. WOLFORD & W YER9, Agls.. White Hslinon. PRATHER & BARNES, A go iua at Hood River Oregon Shotline and union Pacific Klo L-So Mo alt Lake, Denver, Chicago Ft. Wortli.Omaha, Portland Special Kama City, 8t. Special 11:36 a.m. Louie,Chicagoand 2106p.m. East. Walla Walla Lewis- Spokane ton.8pokans.Mln- Portland Flyer neapolls,8t. Pant, Flyer 1:27 p.m. Puluth, Mtlwau. 4:30a.m. ke,Chlcago&Eat Salt Lake, Denver, Mall and Ft. Worth. Omh. Mall and Express Kansas City, hi. Exprena 11:42 p. m. Loula,Caiuagoaud 6.42a.m. tut. OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE . FBOBt PORTLAND, IftOp.SS. All sailing dataa . 4:00 p. aa, aubject to ehanga Tor 8an Franclnco tail every 6 daya Dally Cannabis Rlner 4 00 p.m. F.l.Bon.lay ttaaattrs. Kx. Sunday S:0UD.m. Saturday T A atorla and Way . Mi OU p. m. Landings. :4Sa.m. Vrnianerte tint. 4:Mp.m. Li. Sunday Oregon City, New. Ex. Suaday berg, Salem, Imta pendenee Hay landings. TOO am. WUIaxtrlt Ta- SSOp.m. Tue . Thur. kill Sims. Hon., Wed. and Sau and Fri. Oregon City, Day ton. A Hay Land- Inga. 45 am. wuta n liter. 4 SO p. in. Tuea., Thnr. Won., Wed. and Sat. ! Portland to Corval. and FrL lis 4k Way Laud. ngv Lv. Rl parte L-.f!.too 6:S-a m. i Rlparla to Lawtiton Sam. HJ I daily For low rate and other Information write te A. L. CRAIG, tertral Passenger Agent, Portland, Or. t. ttSiil KT, (, Hood lUvar.