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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 4, 1901)
Without a light I went np to my own
room, where the moon that had shone
upou me Id my last night'i rlile, was
gleaming brightly through the window.
I Intended to reflect and deliberate, but
I waa worn out. I flung myself down on
the bed, but could not have remained
awake for a single moment. I fell Into a
deep sleep, which lasted till morning.
When I awoke my poor mother waa
sitting beside me, looking very ill and
aorrowful. She had slipped a pillow un
der my head, and thrown a ahawl icrosa
me. I got np with a bewildered brain,
and a general sense of calamity, which
I could not clearly define.
"Captain Carey's man brought a letter
from Julio Just now," she said, taking tt
from her pocket; "he said there waa no
Her eyelids were still red from weep
ing, and her roice faltered aa "-
might break out Into sobs any moment.
As soon as my mother waa gone I
opened Julia's letter. It began:
"My Dear Martin I know all now.
Johanna has told me. When you apoke
to me so hurriedly and unexpectedly, this
afternoon, I could not bear to hear an
other word. But now. I am calm, and I
can think It all over quite quietly.
"It la an Infatuation, Martin. Johanna
aaya so aa well as-1, and aha la sever
wrong. It la a sheer Impossibility that
yon, In your sober aenses, ahould love
strange person, whose very name you
do not know. A Dobree could not make
an adventuress his wife. Then you have
seen ao little of her. Three times, since
the week you were there In March! What
Is that compared to the years we have
spent together? It Is Impossible that In
your heart of hearta you ahould love her
more than me,
"I cannot give up the thought of our
home, Just finished and ao pretty. It
was ao pleasant thia afternoon, before
you came In with your dreadful thunder
bolt I waa thinking what a good wife I
would be to you; and how, In my own
house, I should never be tempted Into
those tiresome tempers you have aeen in
me aometlmea. You could not-know how
much I Jove you, how my life la bound
np in you, or you would haw been proof
agalnat that person in Bark. .
"I think it right to tell you all thia
now. though it is not In my nature to
make professions and demonstrations of
my love. Think of me, of yourself, of
your poor mother, You were never self
ish, and you can do noble things. I do
not say It would be noble to marry me;
but It would be a noble thing to conquer
an ignoble love. How could Martin Do
bree fall In love with an unknown adven
turess? "I shall remain In the house all day to
morrow, and if you can come to see me,
feeling that this has been a dream of
folly from which you have awakened, l
will not ask you to own it. That you
come at all will be a sign to me that
you wish It forgotten and blotted out be
tween us, aa if it had never been.
"With true, deep love for you, Martin,
believe me still
I pondered over Julia's letter aa I
dressed. There waa not a word of re
sentment In it. It was full of affectlon--ate
thought for ns all. But what rea
soning! I had not known Olivia so long
as I bad known her, therefore I could
not love her as truly I
There waa ao longer any hesitation in
my mind as to what I must do. Julia
knew all now. I had told her distinctly
of my love for Olivia, and aha wonld not
believe it. She appeared wishful to hold
, me to my engagement In spite of it; at
any rate, ao I Interpreted her letter. I
did not auppose that I ahould not live It
down, thia Infatuation, as they chose to
call It. I might hunger and thirst, and
be on the point of perishing; then my
Datura would turn to other nutriment,
and assimilate It to its contracted and
I went mechanically through the rout
ine of my morning's work, and it was
late In the afternoon before I could get
away to ride to the Vale. My mother
knew where I was going, and gaxed wist
fully Into my face, but without otherwise
asking me any questions. At the last
moment, aa I touched Madam's bridle, I
looked down at her atandlng on the door
step. "Cheer up, mother!" I said, al
most gaily, "It will all come right."
I found Julia atanding by the fireplace,
and leaning against It, as If she could
not stand alone. When I went up to
her and took her band, she flung her arms
around my neck, and clung to me, In a
passion of tears. It was some minutes
before he could recover her self-command.
I had never seen her abandon
herself to auch a paroxysm before.
"Julia, my poor girl!' I said, "I did not
think you would take it ao much to heart
"I shall come all right directly," she
sobbed, sitting down, and trembling from
head to foot. "Johanna aaid you would
come, but I waa not sure."
"Yea, I am here," I answered, with a
very dreary feeling about me.
"That la enough," said Julia; "you
need not say a word more. Let us forget
It, both of us. You will only give me
your promise never to see her or speak to
"Olivia quite understands about my en
gagement to you," I aaid. "I told her at
once that we were going to be married,
and that I hoped she would find a friend
"A friend in me, Martin!" ahe exclaim
ed, in a tone of indignant surprise; "you
could not ask me to be that!"
"Not now, I suppose," I replied; "the
girl is aa Innocent and blameless aa any
girl living; but I dare say you would
sooner befriend the moat good-for-nothing
Jezebel in the Channel Islands."
"Yes, I would," she aaid. "Aa Inno
cent girl Indeed! I only wish she had
been killed when she fell from the cliff."
"Hush!" I cried, shuddering at the bare
mention of Olivia's death; "you do not
know what you say. It Is worse than
useless to talk about her. I came to aak
you to think no more of what paased be
tween ns yesterday.
"But you are going to persist In your
Infatuation," aaid Julia; "you can never
deceive me. I know you too well. Oh, 1
see that yon still think the same of her
"You kttow nothing about her," I re
"And I shall take care I never do," she
"So rt la of no use to go on quarreling
about her," I contiuued. "I made np
my mind before I came here that I must
see as little as possible of her for the
future. You must understand, Julia, ah
has never given ne a particle of reason
to suppose ahe loves me.
"But you are still la lore with her?
Martin," ahe continued, with flsshing
yea, and a rising tone In her voice.
which, like the first shrill moan of the
wind, presaged a storm, "I wilt never
marry you until you can say, on your
word of honor, that you love that person
no longer, and are ready to promise to
hold no further communication with her.
Ohl I know what my poor aunt has had
to endure, and I will not put up with it."
"Very well, Julia," I answered, con
trolling myself as well as I could, "I
have only oue more word to say on this
subject. I love Olivia, and as far as I
know myself, I shall love her aa long as
I live. I did not come here to give you
any reason for aupposlng my mind is
changed as to her. If you consent to be
my wife, I will do my best to be moat
true, most faithful to you. But my mo
tive for coming now la to tell you some
particulars about your property, which
my father made known to me only last
It was a miserable task for me; but 1
told her simply the painful discovery I
had made. She sat listening with a dark
and sullen face, but betraying not a spark
of resentment, ao far aa her loss of for
tune waa concerned.
"Yes," she said bitterly, when I had
finished, "robbed by the father and jilt
ed by the son."
"I would give my life to cancel the
wrong," I aaid.
"It ia ao easy to talk," she replied, with
deadly coldnesa of tone and manner.
"I am ready to do whatever you
choose," I urged. "It Is true my father
haa robbed you; but It is not true that
I have jilted you. I did not know my
own heart till a word from Captain
Carey revealed It to me; and I told you
frankly, partly because Johanna Insist
ed upon it, and partly because I be
lieved It right to do so. If you demand
It, I will even promise not to see Olivia
again, or to hold direct communication
with her. Surely that ia all you ought
to require from me."
"No," she replied vehemently; "do you
suppose I could become your wife while
you maintain that yon love another wom
an better than me? You must have a
very low opinion of me."
"Would you have me tell you a false
hood?" I rejoined, with vehemence equal
"You had better leave me," she said,
"before we bate one another. I tell you
I have been robbed by the father and
Jilted by the aon. Good-bye, Martin."
"Good-bye, Julia," I replied; but I still
lingered, hoping she would speak to me
again. I waa anxioua to hear what ahe
would do against my father. She looked
at me fully and angrily, and aa I did not
move, she swept out of the room, with a
dignity which I had never seen In her be
fore. I retreated towards the house door,
but c lid not make good my escape with
out i countering Johanna.
"Well, Martin?" ahe said.
"It Is all wrong," I answered, "Julia
persists in it that I am jilting her."
"All the world will think you have be
haved very badly," she said.
I rode home again, Sark lying in full
rlnw hefora me: and. In snlte of the dark
nesa of my prospects, I felt Intensely
glad to be free to win my Olivia.
Four daya paased without any sign
from Julia, My father had gone off on a
visit and my mother and I had the house
to ourselves; and, in spite of her fret
tings, we enjoyed considerable pleasure
during the temporary lull. There were,
however, sundry warnings out of doors
which foretold tempest. I met cold
glances and sharp inquiriea from old
friends, among whom sotae rumors of
our separation were floating. There was
sufficient to justify suspicion my fata
er'a absence, Julia's prolonged sojourn
with the Careys, and the postponement
of my voyage to England. I began to
fancy that even the women servants
flouted at me.
One morning we received word that
my father was lying 111 at a hotel in Jer
sey. Captain Carey at once went with
me Is response to the message. Julia,
too, had been sent for, but ahe tttached
the hotel In a separate car.
The landlady received ua with por
tentous face. Dr. Collaa had spoken
very seriously Indeed of his patient, and
aa for herself, she had not the smallest
hope. I heard Julia aob, and aaw her
lift her handkerchief to her eyes behind
Captain Carey looked very much fright
ened. He was a man of quick sympa
thies, and nervous about his own life into
the bargain, so that any serioua illness
alarmed him. Aa for myself, I was in a
miserable condition of mind.
We were not admitted into my father's
room for half an hour, as he sent word
he must get up his strength for the Inter
view. Julia and myself alone were al
lowed to aee him. He was propped up
in bed with a number of pillows; with
the room darkened by enetian blinds,
and a dim green twilight prevailing.
which cast a sickly hue over his really
pallid face. Ilia abundant white hair
fell lankly about his hend, Instead of
being in crisp curie as usual. I waa
about to feel hla pulse for him, but he
waved me off.
"No, my son," he aaid, "jny recovery Is
not to' be desired. I feel that I have
nothing now to do but to die. It ia the
only reparation in my power. I would
far rather die than recover."
I had nothing to say to that; Indeed, 1
had really no answer ready, ao amaaed
waa I at the tone he had taken. But
Julia began to aob again, and pressed
paat me, ainking down on the chair by
hia aide and laying her hand upon one of
"Julia, my love," he continued feebly,
"you know how I have wronged you; but
you are a true Christian. You will for
give your uncle when he ia dead and
cone. I should like to be buried in
Guernsey with the other Dobreca."
Neither did Julia answer, save by
sobs. I stepped towards the window to
draw up the blinds, but he stopped me,
speaking in a much stronger voice than
"Leave them alone," he aaid. "I have
no wish to aee the light of day. A dis
honored man -doea not care to ahow his
face. I hare aeen no one aince I left
Guernsey, except Oollaa."
"I think you are alarming yourself
needlessly," I answered. "You know
you are fidgety about your own health.
Let me prescribe for you. Surely
know aa much aa Collaa."
"No, no, let me die," he aaid plain
tively ; "then you can all be happy.
hare robbed my only brother's only child,
who waa dear to me as my own daugh
ter. I cannot hold up my head after
that. I ahould die gladly if you twa
were but reconciled to one another."
By thia time Julia'a hand had reached
hla, and waa resting in it fondly. I
never knew a man gifted with auch pow
er ore women and their susceptibilities
as he had. My mother herself would
appear to forget all her unhappiness, If
he only smiled upon her.
"My poor, dear Julia." he murmurea;
my poor child!"
"Uncle." she said, checking her sobs
by a great effort, "if you Imagine I ahould
tell any one Johanna Carey even wnai
you have done, you wrong me. The name
of Dobree ia aa dear to me aa to Mar
tin, and he was willing to marry a
woman he detested In order to shield it.
No, you are quite safe from disgrace aa
far aa I am concerned."
"Heaven bless you, my own Julia!" he
ejaculated fervently. "I knew your no
ble nature. But will you not be equally
generous to Martin? Cannot you for
give him as you do me?"
Uncle," she cried, "I could never,
never marry a man who aaya he lovea
some one else more than me."
"I ahould think not, my girl!" he aaid,
In a aoothing tone; "but Martin will very
soon repent. He la a fool just now, but
he will be wise again presently. He haa
known you too long not to know your
"Julia," I aaid, "I do know how good
you are. You have alwaya been gener
ous, and you are so now. I owe you aa
much gratitude as my father doea, and
anything I can 'do to prove It I am ready
to do thia day."
Will you marry her before wa leava
Jersey?" asked my father.
"Yea, I answered. J
The word slipped from me almoat un
awares, yet I did not wish to retract It.
She was behaving so bobly and gener
ously towards us both that I was willing
to do anything to make her happy.
"Then, my love," he aaid, "you hear
what Martin promises. All's well that
ends well. Only make up your mind to
put your proper pride away, and we shall
all be aa happy as we were before."
Never! . she cried indignantly. I
would not marry Martin here, hurriedly
and furtively; no, not If you were dying,
But, Julia, If I were dying, and wish
ed to see you united before my death!"
he Insinuated. A sudden light broke up
on me. It waa an ingenious plot one at
which I could not help laughing, mad as
I was. Julia's pride waa to be saved,
and an immediate marriage between ua
effected, under cover of my father'a dan
gerous illness. I did smile, In spite of my
anger, and he caught It, and smiled back
again. I think Julia became auspicious,
'Martin," ahe said, sharpening her
voice to address me, "do you think your
father is in any danger?"
"No, I do not," I answered, notwith
standing his gestures and frowns.
'Then that is at an end," she said. "I
was almost foolish enough to think that
I would yield. You don t know what this
disappointment is to me. Everybody will
be talking of it, and aome of them will
pity me, and the rest laugh at me. I am
ashamed of going out of doors any
where. Oh, it is too bad; I cannot bear
She was positively writhing with agi
tation, and tears, real tears I am sure,
started Into my father's eyes.
My poor little Julia!" he aaid; "my
darling! But what can be done if you
will not marry Martin t
"He ought to go away from Guernsey,"
she sobbed. "I should feel better if I
was quite sure I should never see him, or
hear of other people aeeing him."
"I will go," I said. "Guernsey will be
too hot for me when all this ia known."
"And, uncle," she pursued, speaking
to him, not me, "he ought to promise me
to give up that girl. I cannot set him
free to go and marry her a stranger and
adventuress. She will be his ruin. I
think, for my sake, he ought to give her
"So he ought, and so he will, my love,"
answered my father. "When he thinks
of all wa owe to you, he will promise
I pondered over what our family owed
to Julia for some mlnutea. It was truly
a very great debt. Though I bad brought
her Into perhaps the most painful posi
tion a woman could be placed in, she
was generoualy sacrificing her just re
sentment and revenge against my fath
er'a dishonesty, in order to secure our
name from blot.
On the other hand, I had no reason
to suppose Olivia loved me, and I should
do her no wrong. I felt that, whntever
it might coat me, I must consent to
"It la the hardest thing you could ask
me," I.said, "but I will give her up. On
one condition, however; for I must not
leave her without friends. I shall tell
Tardlt If he ever needs help for Olivia
he must apply to me through my moth
"There could be no harm In that," ob
served my father.
"How aoon shall I leave Guernsey?" I
"He cannot go until you are well again,
uncle," she answered. "I will stay here
to nurse you, and Martin must take-care
of your patients. We will send him
word a day or two before we return, and
I should like him to be gone before we
(To be continued.)
RICHEST NATION ON EARTH.
aw Commonwealth In the Antipodes
Can Koaet the DUt notion.
It will surprise many to learn that
the new commonwealth of Australia Is
the richest nation on the face of the
globe. There is not as much wealth
there In the aggregate as may be found
In some of tbe older countries, but the
per capita possessions of the Austra
lians far exceed those of other people
In Europe or America. The common
wealth Is a continental Island, rich In
land fit for settlement and Industry.
Its national prosperity Is dependent
upon no single product, but embraces
pastoral, agricultural and mining In
dustries In almost equal degree, and
to these are rapidly belug added manu
factures. Last year the total value of the prod
ucts of the colonies forming the Austra
lian commonwealth amounted to fully
S550.000.000, of which their pastoral In
dustries represented $150,000,000, their
agricultural $140,000,000, their mineral
products fully $100,000,000 and their
manufacturing and other Industries the
remaining $100,000,000. The wool alone
from the 120,000,000 sheep raised In
1000 waa worth $100,000,000.
The mineral resources of Australia
cannot even be guessed at In the last
forty-eight years the country has pro
duced gold to the value of $1,800,000,
000," In the last twenty silver to the
value of $150,000,000.
Diamonds are found In one district,
rubles In another. There Is at least one
emerald mine In New Svuth Wales,
and opals equal to any In tbe world
are found In Queensland, while the
pearl fisheries of the northwestern
coast produce a considerable portion
of tbe most valuable pearls of com
merce. Chicago Chronicle.
Tbe bird on a woman's bat has the
wings of riches.
LAZIEST MAN 18 DEAD.
PASSED HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN AN
Never Worked from His Birth to Hla
Death, larentei a Valuable) Device
to Save Ills Own Labor and Finally
Sought an Easy Demise,
The laziest man In New England Ii
Joseph A. Bingham was 50 yeara old
and never In the memory of any ac
quaintance bad he done a stroke of
work. He wag born, reared, lived and
died in Andover, Conn. Bingham was
so lazy, aaya the Boston Post, that the
sight of a woodpile, saw-horse and saw
made his head ache. The sight of men
at work caused blm to have tits. He
usually took them under the shade of a
big elm In front of the town tavern.
He never washed his face, combed his
hair, wore' a collar nor laced bis shoes.
All these little minor things required
some degree of animation, and Bing
ham abdorrcd animation.
Born of well-to-do parents, he was
supported by their wealth as long as
they lived, then a legacy was left him
in trust, which the selectmen doled out
to him. He boarded at Andover inn for
years, until his money was gone, then
the scene shifted to a little bouse pro
vided by the selectmen. Here It was
charged that he was too lazy to cut th8
wood given him, too lazy to draw water
from the near-by well, too lazy to tie up
his shoes. It was too much work to
put on a collar, and as for cooking a
meal with material all given him
well, he would starve rather than do It.
Several years ago, when be became a
town charge, an effort was made to
get work out of him, but It proved a
flat failure. He was let out to a far
mer to assist in threshing grain. Bing
ham was given the position of taking
away the shucked straw after It haa
passed through the whirling thresher.
He watched the machine work for a
few minutes end then, with a hammer
and nails and two or three pieces of
board, rigged up a device which, when
attached to a crnnk on the feeder, serv
ed to carry the discharged straw away
to the dump. This single effort pros
trated Bingham and he took a nap
Some one recognized the value of the
new device, and the Idea was patented
In Bingham's name as a joke. A short
time later an agent for a threshing ma
chine company came to Andover and
woke Bingham up. The agent found
him under his favorite tree asleep, as
usual. The agent talked; Bingham look
ed disturbed. The agent waited the
use of the patent; Bingham wanted to
be left alone. Finally the exasperated
agent, getting no replies from the lazy
man, raised his bids by degrees from
$50 to $500. Bingham turned over and
settled himself to take a well-earned
rest. Then the agent gave him a paper
to sign, but Bingham was sleeping the
sleep of the weary. The agent gave
up and left town. BIngbam slept on
Ills sleep was never disturbed by the
thought of the fortune that knocked
at his door. '
For the first time In 25 years be look
ed Into a mirror. What he saw there
was Ills own reflection. He walked out
and deliberately began a nap In front
of an approaching train. It ended his
life easily. No exertion on his part was
needed, as there would have been If be
hud used a pistol, rope or poison. '
NEW SEEDLESS WATERMELONS.
Secret o Kaisinic ih-m Said to Have
1'een Mscorered in Colorado,
Former State Senator Swlnk has been
working on the seedless melon proposi
tion many years. During the long win
ter nights he sat up and wrestled with
the great problem, "How can It be
done?" Often daylight found him ex
amining minutely nnd microscopically
the seeds he had cut and backed and
desiccated, In his efforts to determine
how to get along without them. - And
early one morning about five months
ago, so It Is related, Mr. Swink came
bounding Into breakfast after one of his
nll-nlght sessions and startled his wife
and children by shouting In a perfect
spasm of glee: "I've got It! I can
Then, It Is said, he rushed away with
out explaining to his astonished family
what on earth be meant.
But Mrs. Swlnk Is reputed to have
said: "Never mlud; father knows.
And as "father" stands quite well In
the estimation of his family, the mere
knowledge that he knew wag quite suf
ficient for all. Swlnk selected certain
kinds of seeds, planted them at certain
unusual distances apart and began to
watch for the first signs of their ger
mination. After spying on the plants as
they grew. It became known that be
hud really put some momentous enter
prise on foot.
Later Mr. Swluk brought and laid be
fore his family and friends a huge,
long green melon, and, dividing It clear
ly at oue stroke of his big knife, dis
played to them the pink Interior of a
splendid emerald sphere without a sin
gle seed. This wag but tho small be
ginning of a great end. Of course, Mr,
Swink will not reveal the secret process
by which he out off a melon's hope of
posterity and at the same time renders
Its fleeting presence here most benefl
cent and beloved. Denver Post.
HE JOINED THE SHOW.
Bnt Twenty-four Hoars' Work With
out Meep Was Too Mack,
"1 haven't been to a circus for forty
years," declared the well-known busi
ness man with a chuckle, according to
the Detroit Free Tress. "The fact Is
that I ahvaya feel like leaving town
whenever I hear that one is coming,
for fear that I might meet the man to
whom I hired out as a circus hand in
the days when I was young.
"I suppose there Is a period In
every boy's life when his only ambition
is to belong to a circus. I know there
was in mine, and I had it satisfied in
the shortest time on record. A small
jhow had pitched Its tents on tne vll
lage green In the little town where I
lived, and 1 desired to adopt the pro
fession right then and there. I applied
to the boss for a job and was accepted
on the spot as a razorback. What Is a
razoiback? Well, be is a member of
the loadlug gang. Yon unload lu the
morning aud raise her back at a-lgbt. I
was simply appalled by tho amount of
work that came my way, followed by
such profanity that I never hope to
bear again. I was kept en the jump
till midnight, when we had tbe outfit
all loaded up, and I breathed a sigh of
relief, which quickly gave way to oue
of despair when tbe boss told me to
drive the wagon that bad tbe tents
loaded on It In those days tbe only
means of traveling was by wagon.
" 'Say, mister,' said I, timidly, 'when
do we sleep?
' 'Sleep? he roared; 'we don't sleep
"I felt that was a fact, aa I knew we
had an all-night's ride ahead of us,
with tbe weary work of unloading as
soon as we did arrive. But, as far as
I was concerned, tired nature gave out
and I was sound asleep before we bad
gone a mile. I awoke Just as day was
breaking and found myself on a lonely
country road and without the slightest
Idea where I was. From a country
boy who chanced to come along I
learned that the town I was supposed
to be beaded for was thirty miles
away, and that I was getting farther
away from it every minute. When I
realized my position my teeth com
menced to chatter. But suddenly a
brilliant idea occurred to me.
" 'Say,' said I to the boy, 'do you
want a pass to the show?'
" 'You bet,' said he.
" 'Well,' said I, 'drive this wagon to
the town where the show Is and I will
see that you get In. One of our ele
phants haa escaped and I have got to
'Then I made for home. I never
heard what they did to that country
boy when he arrived. I hope they
didn't kill him."
The period of five seconds between a
flash of lightning and thunder means
that the flash was a mile distant from
the observer. Thunder has never been
heard over 14 miles from the flash,
though artillery has been beard at 120
It Is said to be only a question of
time before the Bermuda Islands will
sink under the ocean. The geological
theory Is that the Islands are merely the
remnant of one large Island. The sub
sidence within a comparatively recent
period has been from 80 to 100 feet,
The earth revolves on Its axis once
In 24 hours. Millions of years ago the
day was 22 hours; millions of years be
fore, It was 21 hours. As we look back
ward Into time we flndthe earth re
volving faster and faster. There was a
time, ages ago, long before geology be
gins, when the earth was rotating In a
day of five or six hours In length. In
the remotest past the earth revolved
In a day of about five hours. It could
revolve no faster than this and remain
a single unbroken mass.
The Russian people are fond of tea.
and efforts are being made to develop
Important tea plantations In the Cau
casus. Nearly half a century ago It was
found that the tea-plant could be
grown In gardens on the shores of the
Black Sea, but at first It was culti
vated only as a curiosity or for orna
ment. Since 1890 plantations of con
siderable extent have been formed, and
while the cultivators have not succeed
ed In Imitating the fine flavor of Chi
nese, Ceylonese or Indian tens, yet the
demand among the peasants for tea of
some kind is so great that even the
Caucasian variety finds a market. The
Russian government Is trying to en
courage the cultivation.
The city of Fads Is being rapidly sup
plied with a system of public clocks
worked by compressed air under elec
trical control. The entire area of the
city Is divided Into sections about a
mile and three-quarters In radius, and
In the center of each section Is a sub
station provided with a reservoir of
compressed air, from which alr-plpes
extend to all the clocks Included In the
section. By means of electro-magnets,
energized every minute with currents
from a commutator controlled by a
master-clock at tbe central station, the
alr-plpes are Intermittently connected
with the reservoirs, and thus the com
pressed air, once every minute, drives
forward the hands of the clocks.
It Is generally known that some spe
cies of birds, are able fo Imitate the
songs of other birds, but a more sur
prising fact Is related by a French nat
uralist, Monsieur Coupln, concerning a
sparrow which learned the shrill chant
of grasshoppers. The Insects happen
ed to be confined In a cage hung be
side tbe sparrow's cage, but It was
not until a year afterward, when again
the bird and the grasshoppers wore
neighbors, I hat the sparrow was heard
Imitating the notes of the Insects. AH
the rest of Its life, and long after the
grasshoppers from whom It had takon
Its lessons were dead, the sparrow con
tinned to Intermingle with Its own songs
the peculiar music of Its lost friends.
"Pins" Man Ever In Demand.
Tbe "plus" man la oue who Is more
than appears on tbe surface, bigger
than he looks, stronger than he seems,
abler thin be shows In ordinary affairs,
better than tbe world judges htm, con
stantly rising to great occasions and ac
complishing more than Is expected of
him, writes Victor Smith In the New
York Press. There are many such men
to whom great occasions never come.
There are a few whose "plusness" has
a chance to Illuminate the earthy every
Perhaps the finest type of "plus" man
was President Lincoln. Grant, too, was
plus. It might be confessed that plus.
In the sense used. Is nearly synony
mous with successful In commercial
life Mr. Morgan U heavily plus. In
railroading William K. Vanderbult and
Edward U. Harriman have loomed up
rather suddenly as plus. Commodore
Vanderbllt and Jay Gould were plus.
Croker Is plus. Otlell Is plus.
In the contracting Hue John B, Mc
Donald Is heavily plus. It Is not every
man of affairs who can take bold of a
$35,000,000 Job and carry It along suc
cessfully without losing a pound of
flesh from worry. Plus men seldom
worry. They have great nerve but ne
She (threatening breach of promise
suit) Do you Intend to deny, sir, that
you proposed to me? He No; I intend
to plead Insanity. Fun.
"Aren't you the beggar that I gave a
pie to last week?" "I guess I am, mum,
but I'm wlllin' to let bygones be by
gones. It ain't In my heart to bear no
Borem Scribbler, they tell me, Is
now quite a literary light I -must call
on him. Wigwag Even a literary light
may be out when you call, Philadel
The Don And what part did you
take In this disgraceful proceeding of
holding Mr. Waters under tbe pump?
Undergrad (modestly) His left leg,
"John, how dare you come home at
one o'clock In the morning?" "W-w-w-h-y,
Mary, you can't .'speet me to stay
out all night on dollar'n forty cents."
'Twas Ever Thus: "Oh, yes, he adores
me. I've known It for a forntlght."
"Then what's bothering your' "What's
bothering me? Why, I've got to wait
for him to find It out!" Brooklyn
Billtop You must be doing mighty
well, old man, to be able to charter a
yacht Capton Not at all; I'm doing It
to save money. "How's that?" "I'm
going to keep my wife at sea for a
Daisy Wbai do you think? Claries
went out and sang at an entertainment
In a private Insane asylum.' Edle Did
she say whether they showed their In
sanity much? Dalsy-Oh, yes; they en
cored ber three times.
Suobbins I should Ihlnk you'd be
afraid of having that big dog around
you all the time. If I bad him, I should
be afraid all the time be would go mad.
Suubbius But he doesn't have to live
with you, you know. Boston Tran
Patlcnce Isn t basket-ball a very
rough game? Patrice Very. "Well,
why do girls learu to play It then?"
"Why, it fits a girl for society func
tions, when she has to fight her way
to the refreshment table." Yonkers
Mistress Nurse, you really ought to
use a thermometer In baby's bath to get
the right warmth! Nurse (airily) O,
that's all right If the water's too 'ot
he turns red; if It's too cold he turns
blue. That's all you want to know,
mum! English Humor.
"It Is sad to see this mercenary spirit
so flagrantly manifested In politics,"
said the earnest citizen. "Yes," an
swered Senator Sorghum. "I have
fought against It all I could, but It's
no use. 1 can't get people to vote my
way without payln' emj' Washington
Mistress (to cook) But why do you
want to leave, Mary? Cook I don't like
tbe cookery, mum. Mistress Why, you
cook the things yourself! Cook Yes,
I know, mum, but I'm only a plalu cook
and I thought when I came here that
you would make some tasty dishes now
and again, mum.
Magistrate I am told that you have
already been convicted fourteen times
on this same charge. Aren't you asham
ed to have to acknowledge to that?
Prisoner No. your worship. I don'i
think no man oughter be ashamed of
'Is conwlctlons. Magistrate Two
months, without the option of a fine.
"It's a little annoying to have to get
up in the middle of the night and look
for burglars," said Mr. Meekton, "but
Henrietta seems to enjoy having me
do so." "What would you do If you
really found a burglar?" "Well I'm so
kind-hearted that Ira afraid that I
would be too lenient I think I'd open
the door and tell him that if he didn't
get out quietly Henrietta would come
down and attend to his case."
He was thoroughly happy when he
entered the front door. with a package
In his baud and exclaimed: "I've got
something here for the woman I love
better than all the world." "John," she
said sadly, "1 don't object to extrava
gance ordinarily, but I do object to you
buying expensive presents for the
cook." But then, you see, she judged
him by his appetite, not his heart
A Georgia singer complains that the
printer murdered bis verses In a cur
rent publication. He says that he
A little wife to wait.
In the rosy twilight late.
With the blooms thick at the gate.
But the stanza appeareJ In print as
A little wife to wait.
In the rosy twilight late,
With the broomstick at tbe gate. "
Atlanta Constitution. ;
Pat bad secured lodgings In tbe town
and gone to bed early. The wind was
blowing a terrific gale, and, as the
house did not stand very securely, the
landlord was rather anxious about Its
safety. He sent a servant to arouse
Pat, who was sleeping soundly. When
at last the sleeper awakened he sat up
In bed and rubbed bis eyes. "What's
the matter?" be asked. "Don't you
bear the wind?" asked the servant
"We're afraid the house will blow
down." Turning over and drawing the
clothes more tightly around him, Pat
replied: "Go and tell your master the
huuse doesn't belong to me."
Long Oil Pipe IJne In Russia,
The Kussian government has sanc
tioned tbe laying of a pipe line for oil
from Baku to Batum, on the Black Sea,
a distance of 5C.1 miles. The project
has been discussed by successive min
isters for fifteen years. The govern
ment however, Insists that the piping
and Mdiviuli uwi.tiery shall all be
manufactured In Russia, which will de
lay the work until 1903 or 1004.
It must be heavenly to be a baby and
b privileged to screw tip your face and
bowl whenever people whom yog don't
like speak to you.
GEO. P. CROWELL,
Successor to E. L. Bmtlh,
Oldetl Established House in the valley.J
Drv Goods, Groceries,
Boots and Shoes,
Flour and Feed, etc.
Ti,;- Mfi.iiripd Imiifift will con-
AIJO V1U vrmui'"" . , -
A nn moVi for all itfl sTOoai: it 1
pays no rent; it employs a clerk, but
does not have to divide with a partner.
All dividends are made with customers
in the way of reasonable prices.
Are running their two mills, planer and box
factory, -and can All orders for
ON SHORT NOTICE.
DAVIDSON FRUIT CO.
HOOD RIVER'S FAMOUS FRUITS.
PACKERS OF TUB
Hood River Brand of Canned Fruits.
Boxes and Fruit Packages
Fertilizers & Agricultural Implements.
THE REGULATOR LINE.
Dalles, Portland & Astoria
Leaves Oak Street Dock, Portland
7 A. M. and II P. M.
Leaves Dalles 7 A. M. and 3 P. M.
Dally Except Sunday..
Regulator, Dalles City, Reliance.
WHITE COLLAR LINE.
Str. " Tahoma,"
Dally Round Trips, except Sunday.
Leave Portland. ..7 a.m. I Leave Aoria.....7a.ra.
The Dalles-Portland Route
Str. "Bailey Catzert,"
Dally Round Trips, except Monday.
VANCOUVER, CASCADE LOCKS, ST. MAR.
TIN'S HPRINGH, HOOD RIVEH, WHITE
SALMON, LYLEand THE DALLES.
Leave Portland...? a.m. I Leave Dalles 8:30 p.m.
Mmmlm thm Vary Bmmt.
This route has the grandest scenic attractions
on earth. titinday trip a leading feature.
Landing and office, loot ol Alder street. Both
'phones, Main Hoi, Portland, Or.
E. W. CRtCHTON, Agent, Portland.
JOHN M. FILLOON, Agent, The Dalles.
A. J. TAYLOR, Agent, Astoria.
J. C. WYATT, Agent, Vancouver.
WOLFORD & W YER9, Agls.. White Hslinon.
PRATHER & BARNES,
A go iua at Hood River
and union Pacific
Klo L-So Mo
alt Lake, Denver,
Chicago Ft. Wortli.Omaha, Portland
Special Kama City, 8t. Special
11:36 a.m. Louie,Chicagoand 2106p.m.
Walla Walla Lewis-
Spokane ton.8pokans.Mln- Portland
Flyer neapolls,8t. Pant, Flyer
1:27 p.m. Puluth, Mtlwau. 4:30a.m.
Salt Lake, Denver,
Mall and Ft. Worth. Omh. Mall and
Express Kansas City, hi. Exprena
11:42 p. m. Loula,Caiuagoaud 6.42a.m.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
. FBOBt PORTLAND,
IftOp.SS. All sailing dataa . 4:00 p. aa,
aubject to ehanga
Tor 8an Franclnco
tail every 6 daya
Dally Cannabis Rlner 4 00 p.m.
F.l.Bon.lay ttaaattrs. Kx. Sunday
Saturday T A atorla and Way .
Mi OU p. m. Landings.
:4Sa.m. Vrnianerte tint. 4:Mp.m.
Li. Sunday Oregon City, New. Ex. Suaday
berg, Salem, Imta
TOO am. WUIaxtrlt Ta- SSOp.m.
Tue . Thur. kill Sims. Hon., Wed.
and Sau and Fri.
Oregon City, Day
ton. A Hay Land-
45 am. wuta n liter. 4 SO p. in.
Tuea., Thnr. Won., Wed.
and Sat. ! Portland to Corval. and FrL
lis 4k Way Laud.
Lv. Rl parte L-.f!.too
6:S-a m. i Rlparla to Lawtiton Sam.
HJ I daily
For low rate and other Information write te
A. L. CRAIG,
tertral Passenger Agent, Portland, Or.
t. ttSiil KT, (, Hood lUvar.