Tbe Doctor's fjilemraa
By Hesba
:
CLIAFTER II.-(CoBlinufJ.
A little crmubllnf path led round the
rock nu J along the edge of the ravine.
I rheao It because from it I could ace
all the fantastic shore, bending In a semi
circle toward the lale of Breckhou, with
tiny, untrodden buys, covered at tills
hour with only glittering ripples, and
with all the soft and tender shadows of
the head lands falling across them.
I was Just giving my last loolc to thrra
when the loose atones on the crumbling
path gave way under my tread, and be
fore I could recover my foothold I found
myself slipping down the almost perpen
dicular face of the cliff, and vainly
clutching at every bramble and tuft of
grasa growing in ita clefts.
I Innded with a shock far below, and
for some time lay Insensible. A nearly
at I could make out, It would he high
water In about two hours. Tardlf had
t off at low water, but before starting
he had said something about returning at
high tide, and running up hia boat on the
beach of our little bay. If he did that
he must pans close by me. It was Hat
urduy morning, and he was In the hublt
of returning early on Saturdays, that he
might prepare for the sen-Ices of the
next day.
At last whether years or hours only
had gone by, I could not then have told
you I heard the regular and careful beat
of oars upon the water, and presently
the grating of a boat'a keel upon the shin
gle. I could not turn round or raise my
head, but I was sure It was Tardlf.
"Tardif!" 1 cried, attempting to ehoiit,
but my voice sounded very weak In my
own ears, and the other sounds about me
seemed very loud.
lie paused then, and stood quite still,
listening. I ran the fingers of my right
hand through the loose pebbles about me,
and his ear caught the slight noise. In
moment I heard bis atrong feet coming
cross them towards me.
"Mam'zelle," he exclaimed, "what has
happened you?"
I tried to smile as his honest, brown
face bent over me, full of alarm. It
was so great a relief to see a face like
bis after that long, weary agony.
"I've fallen down the clifT," I said
feebly, "and I am hurt."
The strong man shook, and his hund
trembled as he stooped down and laid
It under my head to lift It up a little.
His agitation touched me to the heart.
"Tardif," I whispered, "it is not very
much, and I might have been killed. I
think my foot Is hurt, nnd I am quite
sure my arm Is broken."
He lifted me in his arms as easily and
tenderly as a mother lifts up her child,
and carried me gently up the steep slope
which led homewards. It seemed a long
time before we reached the farmyurd
gate, and he shouted, with a tremendous
voice, to bis mother to come and open It.
Never, never shall I forget that night.
I could not sleep; but I suppose my mind
wandered a little. Hundreds of times 1
felt myself down on the shore, lying help
less. Then I was back again in my own
home in Adelaide, on my father's sheep
farm, and he was still alive, and with
no thought but how to make everything
bright and gladsome for me; and hun
dreds of times I saw the woman who
was afterward to be my stepmother,
stealing up to the door and trying to get
In to hi in and me.
Twice Tardif brought mo a cup of tea,
freshly made. I waii very glad when
the first gleam of daylight shone into my
room. It seemed to bring clearness to
my bruin.
"Mam'zelle," said Tardif, coming to
my side, "I am going to fetch a doctor."
"But it Is Sunday," 1 answered faint
ly. I knew that no boatman put out to
sea willingly on a Sunday from Surk; and
the last fatal accident, being on a Hun
day, had deepened their reluctance.
"It will be right, mam'zelle," he an
swered, with glowing eyes. "I have no
fear."
"Do not be long away, Tardif," I anid,
sobbing.
"Not one moment longer than I can
help," he replied.
CHAPTER III,
I, Martin Dobree, come into the
Grange, belonged to Julia; and fully half
of the year's household expenses were de
frayed by her. Our uructlce. which he
story to tell my remarkable share in its
events. Marl in, or Doctor Martin, I was
called throughout (itierusuy. My father
was Dr. Dobree. He belonged to one of
the oldest families in the Island, but our
brunch of it had been growing poorer in
stead of richer during tho last three or
four generations. We had been gravi
tating steadily downwards.
My father lived ostensibly by his pro
fession, but actually upon the income of
my cousin, Julia Dobree, who had been
his ward from her childhood. The house
we dwelt In, a pleasant one in the
aud I shared between us, was not a
large one, though for Its extent it wiia
lucrative enough. But there always is
an immense number of medical men in
Guernsey in proportion to Its population,
and the island is healthy. There wai
eiiiull chance for any of us to make a,
fort uue.
My engagement to Julia came about so
easily and naturally that I was perfect
ly contented with It. We had been en-,
gaged siuce Christmas, and were to be
married In the early summer. We were
to set up housekeeping for ourselves; that
was a point Julia was bent upon. A
suitable house had fallen vacant in one
of the higher streets of St. Peter-port,
which commanded a noble view ef "the
sea and the surrounding islands. We had
taken it, though it was farther from the
(range aud my mother than I should
have chosen my home to be. She and
Julia were busy, pleasantly busy, about
the furnishing.
That was about the middle of March.
I hud been to churth one Sunday morning
with these two women, both devoted to
me and centering all their love and hopes
in me, wora, as we enierea tue nouse
on my return. I heard my father casing
"Martin' Martin!" as loudly as he could
from his consulting room. I answered
the call Instantly, and who, should I
see but a very old 'triend of mine. Tar
dif, of the Havre Gosselln. His hand
some but weather-beaten face betrayea
great anxiety. My father looked cha
grined and Irresolute. "
"Here's a pretty piece of work, Mar
tin," he said; "Tardlf wants one of us to
go back with him to Sark, to see a
woman who has fallen from the cliffs
and broken &er arm, confound it!"
"Dr. Martin," cried Tardif excitedly.
"I beg of you to come this instant evtfa.
She has been lying in anguish since mid
day yesterday twenty-four hours now,
sir. I started at dawn this morning,
but both wind and tide were against me,
and I have been waiting here some time,
lie quick, doctor! If she should be
dead!"
$ ::
Stretton
The poor fellow's voice faltered, and his
eyes met mine Imploringly. II and 1
had been fast friends In ray boyhood, and
our friendship was stilt firm and true. I
shook his hand heartily grip which he
returned with his Sogers ef Iron till my
own tingled again.
"I knew you'd come," he gasped.
"Ah, I'll go, Tardlf," I said; "only I
must get a snatch of something to eat
while Dr. Dobree puts up what I shall
have need of. I'll be ready in half an
hour."
The tide was with us, and carried us
over buoyantly. We anchored at the
fisherman's landing place below the cliff
of the Havre Gosselln, and I climbed
readily up the rough ladder which leads
to the path. Tardif made bis boat se
cure, and followed me; he passed me,
and strode on up the steep track to the
summit of the cliff, as If Impatient to
reach his home. It was then that 1
gave my first serious thought to the wom
an who had met with the accident.
"Tardif, who is this person that Is
hurt?" I asked, "and whereabout did she
fall?"
"She fell down yonder," he answered,
with an odd quaver in his voice, as he
pointed to a rough and rather high por
tion of the cliff running inland; "the
stones rolled from under her feet bo," he
added, crushing down a quantity of the
loose gravel with his foot, "and she slip
ped. She lay on the shingl underneath
for two hours before I found her two
hours, Dr. Martin!"
Tardlf's mother came to us as we en
tered the house. She beckoned me to
follow her Into an inner room. It. was
small, with a celling- so low, It seemed
to rest upon the four posts of the bed-
HE PAUSED THEN."
stead. There were of course none of the
little daiuty luxuries about it, with which
I was familiar In my mother's bedroom.
A long low window opposite the head of
the bed threw a strong light upon It.
There were check curtains drawn round
It, and a patchwork quilt, and rough,
homo-spun linen. Everything was clean,
but coarse and frugal, such as I expected
to find about my Sark patient, in the
home of a fisherman.
But when my eye fell upon the face
resting on the rough pillow I paused in
voluntarily, only just controlling an ex
clamation of surprise. There was abso
lutely nothing In tbe surroundings to
mark her as a ludy, yet I felt In a mo
ment that she was one. There lay a deli
cate refined face, white as the linen, with
beautiful ilps almost as white; and a
mass of light, slijuiug silky hair tossed
about the pillow; and large dark gray
eyes gazing at me beseechingly, with an
expression that made my heart leap as It
had never leapt before.
That was what I saw, and could not
forbear seeing. I tried to close my eyes
to the pathetic beauty of tho face before
me; but It was altogether In vain. If I
had seen her before, or If I had been
prepared to see any one like her, I might
have succeeded; but 1 waB completely
thrown oil my guard. There the charm-
Ing face lay; the eyes gleaming, the white
forehead tinted, and the delicate mouth
contracting with pain; the bright silky
curls tossed about in cou fusion. I ire it
now, just as I saw It then.
CHAPTER IV.
I suppose I did not stand still more
than five seconds, yet during that peuse
a host of questions had flushed through
my brain. Who was this beautiful crea
ture? Where had she come from? How
did it happen that she was In Tardlf's
house? and so on. But I recalled myself
sharply to my senses; I was here as her
physician, and common sense and duty
deuinnded of me to keep my head clear.
I advanced to her Hide and took the
small, blue-veined band into mine, and
felt her pulse with my fingers.
"You are in very great pain, I fear,"
I said, lowering my voice.
"Yes," her white lips answered, and
she tried to smile a patient though a
dreary Bmile, as she looked up into my
face; "my arm Is broken. Are you a
doctor?"
"I am Dr. Martin Dobree," I said,
passing my hand softly down her arm.
The fracture was above the elbow, and
was of a kind to make the setting of It
give her sharp, acute pain. I could see
she was scarcely fit to bear any further
suffering just then: but what was to lie
done? She was not likely to get much
rest till the bone was set.
"Did you ever take chloroform?" 1
asked.
"No; I never needed it," she answered.
"Should you object to taking it?"
"Anything," she replied passively. "I
will do anything you wish."
I went back into the kitchen and open
ed the portmanteau my father had put
up for me. Splints and bandages wero
there in abundance, enough to set half
the arms In the island, but neither chlo
roform nor anything in the shape of an
opiate could I find. I might almost as
well Gave come to Sark altogether un
prepared for my case.
I stood for a few minutes, deep In
thought. The daylight was going, and it
was useless to waste time; yet I found
myself shrinking oddly from the duty be
fore me. Tardlf could not help but see
my chagrin and hesitation.
"Doctor," he cried, "she is not going to
die?"
No, no," I answered, calling back my
wandering thoughts aud energies; "there
is not the smallest danger of that. I
must go and set her arm at once, and
then she will sleep."
I returned to the room and raised her
as gently and painlessly as I could. She
moaned, though very softly, and she tried
to smile again as her eyes me. mine look
ing anxiously at her. That smile made
me feel like child. If she did it again
I knew my hands would be unsteady, and
her pain be tenfold greater.
"I would rather you cried out or eaene
ed," i aid. "Don't try to control your
self when I hurt you. You Bred not be
afraid of aeeming Impatient, and a loud
cream or two would do you good."
I felt the ends of the broken bone grat
ing together as I drew them into their
right places, and the sensation went
through and through me. 1 bail set
scores of broken limbs before with no
feeling like this, which was so near in:
nervlug me. All the time the girl s white
face and firmly set lips lay under mj
guze, with the wide open, unflinching
eyes looking straight at me; mournful,
ilent, appealing face, which betrayed the
puln I made her suffer ten times more
than any cries or shrieks could have
done. I smoothed the coarse pillows for
her to lie more comfortably upon them,
and I spread my cambric handkerchief In
a double fold between her cheek and the
rough linen too rough for .soft cheek
like hers.
"Lie quite still," I said. "Do not stir,
but go to sleep as fast as you can."
.Then 1 went out to Tardif.
"The arm is set," I said, "and now slie
must get some sleep. There Is not the
least danger, only we will keep the house
s quiet as possible."
"I must go and bring In the boat," he
replied, bestirring himself if some spell
was at an end. "There will be a storm
to-nlglit, and I should sleep the sounder
If she was safe ashore."
The feeble light entering by the door,
which I left open, showed me the old
woman comfortably asleep In her cbalr,
but not so the girl. I hail told her when
I laid her down that she must lie quite
still, and she was obeying me implicitly.
Her cheek still rested upon my hand
kerchief, and the broken arm remained
undisturbed upon the pillow which I had
placed under It. Hut her eyes' were wide
open and shilling in the dimness, and I
faucid I could see her lips moving in
cessantly, though soundlessly.
The gale that Tardlf had foretold came
with great violence about the middle of
the night. The wiud howled up tbe long,
narrow ravine like a pack of wolves;
mighty storms of hail and rain beat in
torrents against the windows, and the
sea lifted up its voice with unmistakable
energy. Now and again a stronger gust
than the others appeared to threaten to
carry off the thatched roof bodily, and
1
leave us exposed to the tempest with
only the thick stone walls about us; and
the latch of the outer door rattled as If
some one was striving to enter.
The westerly gule, rising every few
hours Into a squall, gave me no chance
of leaving Sark the next day, nor for
some days afterwards; but 1 was not at
all put out by my captivity. All my in
terestsmy whole being in fact was ou-
sorbeij In the caro of this girl, stranger
as she was. I thought and moved, lived
and breathed, only to tight step by step
agalust delirium and death.
There seemed to me to be no possibility
of aid. Tbe stormy waters which beat
gainst that little rock in the sea cumn
swelling and rolling in from the vast
plain of the Atluntli', and broke in tem
pestuous surf against the island. Tar
dif himself was kept a prisoner in (lie
house, except wheu lie went to look after
his live stock. No doubt it would have
been practicable for me to get as far as
the hotel, but to what good? It would
be quite deserted, for there were no vis
itors to Sark at this season. 1 was en
tirely engrossed in my patient, and 1
learned for the first lime what their tusk
is who hour after hour watch the pro
gress of disease in the person of one dear
to them.
On the Tuesday afternoon, in a tem
porary lull of the hail and wind, I start
ed off on a walk across the island. The
wind was still blowing from tho south
west, and filling ail the narrow sea be
tween ua and Guernsey with boiling
surge. Very angry looked the masses of
foam whirling about the sunken reefs,
and very ominous the low-lying, hard
blocks of clouds all along the horizon. I
strolled as far as the Coupee, that giddy
pathway between Great and Little Sark,
where one can see the seething of the
waves at the feet of the cliffs on both
sides three hundred feet below one. Some
thing like a panic seized me. My nerves
were too far unstrung for me to venture
across the long, narrow Isthmus. I turn
ed abruptly again, and hurried as fast
as my legs would carry me back to Tur
difs cottage.
I had been away less than an hour, but
an advantage hnd been taken of my ab
sence. I fould Tardif seated at the table,
with a tangle of silky, shining hair lying
before him. A tear or two hnd fallen
upon it from his eyes. 1 understood at
a glance what it meant. Mother Henouf,
whom be had secured as a nurse, had cut
off my patient's pretty curls as soon as 1
was out of the house. Tardlf's great
hond caressed them tenderly, and 1 drevf
out one long, glossy tresB and wound it
about my fingers, with s heavy heart.
"It is like the pretty feathers of a
bird that has been wounded," said Tar
dif sorrowfully.
Just then there came a knock at the
door and a sharp click of the latch, loud
enough to penetrate dame Tardlf's deaf
ears, or to arouse our patient, if she had
been sleeping. Before either of us could
move the door was thrust open and two
young ladles appeared upon the door sill.
They were it flashed across me in an
instant old school fellows and friends
of Julia's. I declare to you honestly 1
had scarcely had one thought of Julia till
now. My mother I had wished for, to
take her place by this poor girl's side, but
Julia had hardly crossed my mind. Why,
In heaven's name, should the appearauct
of these friends of hers be so distusteful
to nie just now? I had known them all
my life, and liked them as well as any
girls I knew; but at this moment th
very sight of them was annoying.
They stood in the doorway, as much as
tonished and tniinderstrickcu as I was,
glaring at me, so it seemed to me, with
that soft, bright brown lock of hair curl
ing and clinging round my finger. Never
had I felt so foolish or guilty.
(To be continued.)
We do not wish to get into an argu
ment with any woman over what her
husband spends on himself, but did
you ever know a man who had his
pants mended who didn't have to go
to bed while it was done, or have them
mended while they were ou?
DREYFUS CASE IN TATTOO.
Feenes from the Trial Illustrated Upon
a French Coachraan'a Ltodr.
At least oio person lu Paris will
never, us long a lie liven, forget tbe
incidents of the Drey fun case, as lie is
a walking pictorial history of that
(.-Hunt celeliie.
Some time ago lie was In one of tbe
piinUlimeut companies lu Afrlcn, aud
au artistic eouirado killed time by tat
tooing hi in all over tils body and legs
with uo less tlmu 120 illustrations of
prominent scenes in the ease, including
pot-traits of the leading personages con
nected with It uud various allegorical
aud emblematic devices as well. Bluck,
blue, red nnd green colors have been
employed, and the work lias been ex
ecuted with much skill. One of tbe
KurgcoiiK of bis regiment offered liltu
400 frnucg for bis skin, explaining that
be could remove the surface without
pain or risk nnd that a speedy recov
ery would follow. The soldier, how
ever, preferred to keep his hide and the
sketches tattooed on It, aud therefore
declined the offer.
So, at least, lie avers, and the wonder
ful success of the performance, which
took ubout twenty months in the exe
cution, is calculated to confirm the idea
that the proposal niny really have been
made. What may be styled the two
"pieces de resistance" are to be found
on tho back and on the portion of the
body on the other side, which afforded
the most space for the flights of the
artist's genius. On the former the ter
rible ceremony of degradation at the
Ecole Mllltnlre Is graphically depicted.
Three mouths were devoted to It, and
it Is Buniiouuted by a number of alle
gorical designs, with hosts of figures
personating goddesses, among whom
may be seen oue representing France,
pointing out to the ill-fated captalu the
distant He lu Dlable.
The other ambitious production gives
the spectacle of the court-martial by
which Dreyfus was condemned. Above
it, ou the left breast, a dagger pierces
a heart, from which blood Is flowing,
and on the other side Is beheld a ser
pent in the act of strangling a man.
The arms are chiefly dedicated to coun
terfeit presentments of the generals
whose names were so much before the
public -Mercler, Billot, Zurllnden, De
Boisdeffre, (louse and so on-and also
to a portrait of the late President Felix
Faure. Innumerable flags and other
patriotic emblems garnish the thighs
and legs, and there are other sketches
as well.
FASCINATING RUFUS CHOATE.
Kneitilet a Well as Friend Influenced
by Ilia Oratory.
I heard Itufus Choate a great many
times, writes Senator Hoar. I heard
nearly all the speeches given in
"Urown's Life;" and I heard him a
great many times at the bar, both be
fore juries and the full court. He is
the only advocate I ever heard who had
the Imperial power which would subdue
an unwilling and hostile jury. His
power over them seemed like the fas
cination of a bird by a snake.
Clioate's method was pure persuasion.
He never appealed to base motives, nor
tried to awake coarse prejudices or
stormy passions. He Indulged in no In
vectives. His wit and sarcasm aud ridi
cule amused the victim almost as much
as it amused the bystander. He had the
suavi loijuentia which Cicero attributes
to Cornelius. There was never a harsh
note In his speech.
He had a voice without any gruff yet
shrill tones. It was like a sweet yet
powerful (lute. He never strained it or
seemed to exert It to Its fullest capacity.
I do not know any other public speaker
whose style resembled his lu the least.
Perhaps Jeremy Taylor was his model,
If lie had any model. The phraseology
with which lie clothed some common
place or mean thought or fact, when he
was compelled to use commonplace ar
guments or to tell some common story,
kept his auditors ever alert aud expect
nnt. An Irishman who had killed his
wife threw away the ax with which the
deed was done, when he heard some
body coining. This, In Choate's lan
guage, was "the sudden and frantic
ejaculation of the ax." Indeed his
speech was a perpetual surprise.
Whether you liked him or disliked
him you gave him your ears, erect and
Intent. He used manuscript a great
deal, even In speaking to juries. When
a trial was on, lasting days or weeks,
he kept pen, ink and paper at hand in
his bedroom, and would often get up
In the middle of the night to write down
thoughts that came to him as he lay In
bed. He was always careful to keep
warm. It was said he prepared for a
great jury argument by taking off eight
greatcoats and drinking eight cups of
green tea. Scrlbner's Magazine.
An Artificial Man.
A doctor has calculated how much It
would cost to make an artificial man.
He estimated that a pair of arms cost
$90, or with the hands articulated cost
about ?175; a pair of legs, also articu
lated, cost about $140; n false nose In
metal, from $80 to $100. For $130 he
believes that he could get a pnlr of ears
just like nature's handiwork, fitted
with artificial ear drums and resona
tors. A complete set of teeth, with pal
ate In platinum, costs from $40 to $90,
nnd for a good pair of artificial eyes
about $30 would have to be paid. Thus
the total cost of restoring a battered
veteran who has lost most of his separ
ate parts would be about $000.
Change the Dictionaries.
There Is a teacher In the Brooklyn
public schools who has an Item of in
formation she thinks may be of interest
to lexicographers. This young woman
has just been drilling a class of young
hopefuls on the variations of the mas
culine and feminine forms of nouns.
Wow," said she, "who can give me
the feminine of horseman?"
Ip went the hand of an 11-year-old
lad.
"Well, what is it, Johnnie?"
"Flease, ma'am," he answered,
"ruarelady." Mall and Express.
New Kansas City Factories.
Kansas City, Mo., claims to have es
tablished fifty new factories In 1900.
It Is an event In a woman's life when
she goes down town twice in the same
(lav.
Don't pay a high price for spoiling
your children.
OUR BUDGET OP FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Joke and Jokcleta that Are Supposed
to Have Been Keceutly Horn-Hay luu
and Doing that Arc Old, Curious and
Laughable) Tha Week's) llumor.
"You cannot fall to note," said the
French war expert, proudly, "that we
are taking the lend in developing the
balloon aud the automobile. Think of
the races that have beeu held recently.'
"That Is a wise precaution," returned
the Yankee, "for thoso who anticipate
that they may wnut to get away In a
hurry, but It lacks Interest for those
who look at the matter from another
point of view." Chicago Post.
The ltald-Mended Tyrant.
Brown Well, did your baby enjoy
the picnic?
Jones I guess so; lie had five of his
own family waiting on him all day
besides all the outsiders he could drag
In."
Much the Hume.
"My wife Is a woman of strong will
power," said Goldthorpe.
"My wife Is a woman of great won't
power," added Pickers.
I.lfe-Suvlnit Liertlon.
"Don't you pay any attention to sum
mer athletics?"
"Oh, yes; I often run a few blocks
after the Iceman when he has gone by
without having us auy Ice."
A Condition.
"You say you want to get off tli I
afternoon to go to a funeral?''
"Y'es, sir; If it doesn't rain."
The i'rniter lime.
"Amy," said Mabel, "when do you
intend to wear" that stunning bathing
suit of yours !
"When tho men arrive," replied
A my.
Propagators.
".Mosquitoes are accused of propa
gating disease," said Spykes.
"Well, I know that they propagate
profanity," said Spokes.
True HeniifiiH t ion.
The Spinster (an Invalid) Is it really
true that marriages are made in
heaven?
The Parson Yes, I believe so.
The Spinster (resignedly) Oh, then
I II tell the doctor he needn't call
again. Chicago News.
A Paradoxical Talesman.
Judge Have you formed any opinion
on this case?
Wouldbeigh Juror No, sir; I haven't
mentioned It to my wife. The Smart
Set.
Trouble Not Far Off.
First Hack-Yard Farmer Have you
spaded up your garden yet?
Second Hack-Yard Farmer No. but
my next-door neighbor has let out all
bis hens. Somerville (Mass.) Journal
Hie Matus.
"Whoopler seems to have nearly fin
ished fitting himself for active mem
bership in a trained animal show."
"Oh, he was nn Klk, and then he be
came a White Kat, and last night he
Joined the Buffaloes and they made a
monkey of him." Puck.
Comparison.
Tk$e S
Miss May I do not know any better
way to describe my embarrassment in
your presence than to say that I feel as
if I were about to be examined at
school. Bombe.
Porry He Lied. "
De Garry You are the only woman I
ever loved.
Madge In that case I can't be your
summer girl. I don't want any ama
teur. Judge.
Exclmi venee-.
Mrs. Furseproud I see where several
millionaires chartered a whole steam
boat in order to come across the ocean.
Mr. Purseproud Well, when we go
over we will lease the ocean for a
week. Baltimore American.
Turned Down.
"I have written my autobiography,"
said the ex-politician who had seen beN
ter days. "I suppose you would te
willing to advance a few dollars on it,
eh?"
"Not on your life," replied the soul
less publisher. Chicago News.
The Same To-.lay.
"In old times, when a man committed
a mistake he was put in the stocks."
"It's sometimes that way now," sigh
ed the fellow who had beeu dabbling ou
a falling market. "To be caught iu the
stocks means you've done something
you shouldn't have done." Philadel
phia Times. .
A Whole Lot Phort.
"Say, pop!" said Willie, "is 'gent'
short of 'gentleman?' "
"Yes, my boy," replied the old man,
"a gent is far short of a gentleman."
Philadelphia Record.
A Fallacy.
"There Is a great deal to be said on
both sides of every (juestlou," said the
bruitd-mlnded man.
"My dear sir," answered Mr. Meek
ton, "It Is very plain that you have nev
er engaged lu au argument with Hen
rletta." Washington Star.
Appropriate.
"I wonder w hy they put 'lie Rests in
Peace' over Jones' grave. I understand
that he led a very bad life."
"True but you don't know Mrs
J 'Hies." Life.
"Gee, Fin glad my mother dou't wear
shoes like those."
He Hjinpathlzel.
The Summer Girl (to her companion)
What do you suppose It is, dearest,
that makes the sea murmur so?
Testy Old Gentleman (who has en
countered a mooning couple lu every
secluded nook along the shore) Lord
Miss, you'd murmur if you had to bear
nil the sentimental rot the sea hears!
Detroit Free Press.
Looked Like Her.
"Sir," said the gentleman, angrily, as
he burst Into the photograph gallery,
"you have Insulted my wife and I de
mand satisfaction!"
"Believe nie, sir," said the photog
rnpher, soothingly, "I am Innocent of
any intended offense. What have I
done?"
"You will have to fight, sir," went on
the man; "you took a picture for my
wife and it looks like her!"-Roston
Post.
What He Wnnl.l I)n.
"My poor hungry man, if I were to
give you a nickel, what would you do
with It.'" inquired the lady with the
angular smeller and the uncertain spec
tacles.
"I'll tell ver. muni." replied the een
tleman with the straggling whiskers
and yearning bread pouch: "I'll clt n
Turkish bath an' buy a ottymubble wld
th change. here s th' ten, mum?'
Denver Times.
Kecr ui tine.
tl' .jj A.
4
t-v
liming Master ny tlon t you
mount? I gave the order two minutes
ago.
The Rider Hang It, man, I've been
on half a dozen times since then. The
King.
The Panjr of It.
"Why dear, what's the matter with
you? Bad news from your husband?"
"Oh, worse than that, lje writes me
that he Is longing for me and kisses
my picture every day."
"That's no reason for crying."
"Yes, but I find I put mother's pho
tograph In his trunk In mistake for
mine." Brooklyn Life.
Water at a Dinrnunt.
"Is It not beautiful to see the moon
shine across the water?" Inquired the
romantic young woman.
"Well, miss," answered Col. Still
well, "moonshine is very acceptable in
in emergency. But I don't know as I
especially care about the water.'
Washington Star.
Appearances Against Him.
The Parson (leaning over the fence.
shocked) Makiu' garden on Sunday,
brother! I Is pained beyon' measuah,
Brother Johnson!
Itastus Johnson (flustered) Deed I
ain't makin' garden, pahson. I'ze only
diggin' bait to go flshin'. Brooklyn
Eagle.
Noncommital.
"Senator," asked the interviewer, "du
I understand you to say there is very
little money made In politics?"
"Well er you might say," replied
the Senator, "there Is a great deal of
money made out of politics." Phila
delphia Tress.
The Brutality of. Man.
A correspondence full of eloquence
and a speaking moral has been brought
to light by a trade journal In St. Paul.
The lady received the first letter, and
it read thus:
"Dear Madam: I take pleasure in
shipping to your address a rug valued
at $.10, for which I shall be glad to re
ceive your check. If you do not desire
the rug please return it. Very sincere
ly, and so forth!"
'The idea!" exclaimed the ludignant
woman, and thereupon she sat down
and Indited the fllowlng reply:
'Dear Sir: . I have ordered no rug
from your establishment, and I see no
reason why I should go to the expense
of returning that which I do not want.
and which was sent to nie unsolicited."
To this complaint she received the
following gently sarcastic rejoinder:
Dear Madam: I will semi for the
unsolicited rug, and I trust you will
do me the favor to send for the unso
licited charity tickets which now lie
with about twenty-eight others on my
desk. Very sincerely, and so forth."
"The discourteous boor!" shrieked the
lady.
w .. an
:W err
.l --,' "to!
J
GEO. P. CROWELL,
(SiirreMor to R. I.. Hmllb,
Oldest EftUbllahrd llon.f In the vallejr J
DUALLR IN
Dry Goods, Groceries,
Boots and Shoes,
Hardware,
Flour and Feed, etc.
This old-established house will con
tinue to pay cash' for all its goods; it
pays no rent; it employs a clerk, but
does not have to divide with a partner.
All dividends are made with customers
in the way of reasonable prices.
Davenport Bros.
Are rtiiuihiR their two mills, planer end boi
fat-lory, and can till ordcra (or
Lumber
Boxes, Wood
and Posts
OS SI10KT NOTK'K.
DAVIDSON FRUIT CO.
SIMl'I'KKS OF
HOOD RIVER'S FAMOUS FRUITS.
FACKEHB Or Til K
Hood River Brand of Canned Fruits.
M ANl'FMTCKKKN OK
Boxes and Fruit Packages
HKAI.KKS IN
Fertilizers & Agricultural Implements.
THE REGULATOR LINE.
Dalles, Portland & Astoria
Navigation Co.
DALLES BOAT
Leaves Oak Street Dock, Portland
7 A. M. and li P. M.
PORTLAND BOAT
Leaves Dalles 7 A. At. and 3 P. M.
Daily Except Sunday.
STEAMERS
Regulator, Daljes City, Reliance.
WHITE COLLAR LINE.
Sir. "Tahoma,"
Daily Round Tripp, except Sunday.
TIME CARP.
Leave Portland .. 7 a.m. I Leave Astoria 7 a.m.
The Dalles-Portland Route
Str. "Bailey Gatzert,"
Pally Round Trips, except Monday.
VANCOUVKR.TASCAPK LOCK'S, ST. MAR.
TIN'S SPKIXIIS, IIDOII HI VKK, Wll I I K
SALMON, LYLE and 'I J 1 K DAI.LKS.
TIME CARD.
Leave Portland..." a.m. I laveTheDa1les i p.m.
Arrive TheDttllesSp.m. Arrivei'ortlaud 10p.m.
Mmalm tha Very Beat.
This route has the grainiest scenic attractions
on earth. Sunday trips a leading feature.
Lauding and ottice, foot of Aider street. liotli
'phones, Main &'d, Portland, Or.
K. V. CRH'HTO.V, AKCnt, Portland.
JOHN M. KILLOOX. Atfent, The Dalles.
A. J. TAYLOR, Agent, Aftoria.
.1. ('. YVYATT, cnit Vancouver.
WOLFOKD A WYKKS, Agts., White Falmon,
PRATHER & BARNES,
Admits at Hood Kiver
Oregon
Shoijj Line
and union Pacific
D EPA ST
TIME SCHEDULES
From Hood River.
ARRIVS
gnlt Lake, Denver,
Ft. Worth.Oniaha,
Kansas City, St.
Louis, CliicouoHiiii
Last.
Chicago
Special
11:20a. in.
Portland
Special
2:06 p. m.
Walla Walla Ivrls
ton. Spokane, Min
neapolis, St. Paul,
Duliith, Milwau
kee, Chicago: East
Bpokane
Klyer
8:27 p.m.
Portland
Flyer
4:30 a, m.
Salt Lake, Denver,
Ft. Worth. Omaha,
Kansas City, St.
Louis, Cilk-atoaud
Fast.
Mail and
Express
U ;2 p. m.
Mail and
Kx press
5.42a. m.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
moat i'ortlani.
mW&
1 !o
1:00 p.m. All sailing dates 4:00 p.m.
subject lo chango
For San Francisco
bail every 6 days.
Dally Columbia River 4 00 p. m
Fx. Sunday Sttamers. Kx. Sunder
S:U0c.m.
Saturday To Astoria and Way
luiuo p. m. Lending.
:45 a.m. Willamette River. 4:S0p. m.
Kx. Sunday Oregon City, New- Kx. Sunday
berg. Salem, Inde-
rendenee & Way
andinye. 0
7:00a.m. Willamette ana Tarn- :30p.m.
Tues., Thur. hill Rivers. Mon., Wed.
and Sal. aud Fri.
Oregon City, Day
ton, Way Laud-
tng.
:45amm. Willamette River. 4:p.m.
Tuee.. Thur. Mon., Wed.
and Sat. Portland to Corral- and Trt
lit Way Land-
ing.
Lr. Riparla Skaki RivtB. Lr.Lewietoa
i:3."a m. Riparia to Lewteton a m.
daily
For low rates and other information write to
A. L. CRAIG,
General Pauenger Agent, Portland. Or.
BAGI.ET, Agent, Hood Klter.