pgoRHoysEn palace
fj . BY MARY J. HOLMES
CHAPTER I.
"What makes you keep that big blue
snnbonnet drawn so closely over your
face? Are you afraid of having It seen?"
'I'll person addressed was a pale, sick
ly looking child about nine years of ace,
who on the deck of the vessel Winder
mere, was guzing intently toward the dis
tant short of old England, fast receding
from view. Near ber a fine-looking boy
of fourteen was standing, trying In vain
to giiin a look at the fcutures shaded by
the Klnghmn bonnet.
At the sound of bis role the little girl
started, and without turning her bead,
replied, "Nobody wants to see me, I am
so inrly and disagreeable."
"I k')', "re you?" repeated the boy, lift
ing her up tin 1 looking her fully In the
fnce. '"Well, you are not very hand
some, (hut's a fiict, but I wouldn't be aul
li'ii about It. I'gly people, ure always
smart, and perhaps you are. Anyway,
1 like little girl, so just let mo sit hero
an 1 get acquainted."
Mary Howard was certainly not very
handsome. Her features, though tolera
bly regular, were mini II and tbiu, ber
complexion sallow, nud ber eyes, though
bright nn I expressive, seemed too large
for her face. She hud frequently been
told t lint she was homely, and often when
alone had wept, and wondered why she,
too, win not handsome like ber sister
Ellu, on whose cheek the softest rose was
blooming, while her rich brown bair fell
In wavy musses about her white neck and
shoulders. Hut if Ella was more beau
tiful than Mury, there whs far less in
ber charucter to admire. She knew that
she was pretty, and this made her proud
sud selfish, expecting attention from all,
and growing sullen if it was withheld.
Mrs. Howard, the mother of these chil
dren, hail incurred the displeasure of her
father, a wealthy Englishman, by mar
rying her music teacher. Humbly at her
father's feet she had knelt and sued for
pardon, but the old man was inexorable
and turned her from his house. I.ate in
life he had married a youthful widow,
who, after the lapse of a few years died,
leaving three little girls, Sarah, Ella and
Jane, two of them bis own, and one a
stepdaughter and a child of his wife's
first marriage. As a last request Mrs.
Temple had asked that her baby Jane
should be given to the care of her sister,
Mrs. Morris, who was on the eve of em
barking for America. Sarah, too, was
adopted by her father's brother, and thus
Mr. Temple was left alone with his eld
est daughter, Ella. Occasionally he beard
from Juue, but time and distance gradu
ally weakened the tie of parental affec
tion, which wound itself more closely
a round Ella; and now, when she, too, left
Mm, and worse than alt, married a poor
music teacher, the old man's wrath knew
no bounds.
"But we'll se-," said he "we'll see
how they get on. I'll use all my influence
against the dog, and when Miss Ella's
right cold and hungry she'll be glad to
tome bnck and leave him."
But he was mistaken, for though right
cold and hungry Ella oftentimes was, she
only clung the closer to her husband,
happy to share his fortune, whatever it
might be. Two years after her marriage,
hearing that her father was dangerously
ill, she went to him, but the forgiveness
she so nrdently desired was never gained,
for the old man's reason was gone. Faith
fully she watched until the end, and then
when she heard read his will and knew
that his property was all bequeathed to
her sister in America, she brushed the
tears from her long eyelashes and went
back to her humble home prepared to
meet the worst.
In course of time three children, Frank,
Mary and Ella, were added to their num
ber, and though their presence brought
sunshine and gladness, it brought also
an increase of toil and care. Year after
year Mr. Howard struggled on, while
each day rumors reached him of the
plenty to be had In the land beyond the
sea; and at last, when hope seemed dying
out, he resolved to try his fortune In the
far-famed home of the weary emigrant.
The necessary preparations for their voy
age were made as soon as possible, and
when the Windermere left the harbor
of Liverpool they stood upon her deck,
waving a last adieu to the few kind
friends who on shore were bidding them
godspeed.
Among the passengers was George
Moreland, whose parents had died some
months before, leaving him and a large
fortune to the guardianship of his uncle,
a wealthy merchant residing in Boston.
This uncle, Mr. Seidell, had written for
his nephew to join him in America, and
It was for this purpose that George had
taken passage in the Windermere. He
was a frank, generous-hearted boy, and
favorite with all who knew him. He
was a passionate admirer of beauty, and
the moment the Howards came on board
and he caught sight of Ella, he felt irre
sistibly attracted toward her. Mary,
whose sensitive nature shrank from the
observation of strangers, eluded all his
efforts to look under her bonnet. This
aroused bis curiosity, and when tie fol
lowed her addressed to her the remark
with which we commenced this chapter.
At last, gently smoothing back her hair,
which was really bright and glossy, he
said, "Who told you that you were so
ugly looking?" The tears started to
Mary's eyes, and her chin quivered, as
she replied, "Father says so, Ella says
so, and everybody says so but mother
and Franky."
"Everybody doesn't always tell the
truth," said George, wishing to admin
ister as much comfort as possible.
"You've got pretty blue eyes, nice brown
hair, and your forehead, too. Is broad
and high; now if you hadn't such a mud
dy couiplevion, bony cheeks, little nose,
big ears and awful teeth, you wouldn't
be such a fright!"
George propensity to tease had come
upon him, and in enumerating the defects
iu Mary's face he purposely magnitied
them; but he regretted it, when he saw
the effect his words produced. Hiding
her face in her hands, Mary burst into a
passionate fit of weeping, then snatching
the bonnet from George's lap, she threw
it on her head and was hurrying away
when George caught her and pulling her
back, said, "Forgive me, Mary. I could
not help plaguing you a little, but I'll try
and not do it again."
For a time George kept this resolution,
but he could not conceal the preference
which he felt for Ella, whose doll like
face and childish ways were far more
In keeping with his taste than Mary's
oM look'! Whenever he noticed her at
all, he spoke kindly to her; but she knew
there was a great difference between his"
treatment of her and Ella, and ofttimes.
when saying her evening prayer, she
prayed that George Moreland might love
her little, just a little.
Two weeks bad passed sine the last
vestige of land had disappeared from
Tiew, and then George was taken dan
gerously ill with fever. Mrs. Howard
herself visited him frequently, but she
commanded her children to keep away,
lest they, too, should take the disease.
For l day or two Mary obeyed her moth
er, and then curiosity led her near
George's berth. For several minutes she
lingered, and was about turning away
when low moan fell on her ear and ar
rested her footsteps. Her mother's com
mands were forgotten, and In a moment
she stood by George's bedside. Tender
ly she smoothed his tumbled - pillow,
moistened his parched lips and bathed
his feverish brow, and when an hour af
terward, ths physician entered, he found
his patient calmly sleeping, with one
hund clasped In that of Mary.
"Mary! Mary Howard! said the phy
sician, "this is no place for you," and
he endeavored to lead her away.
This aroused George, who begged so
hard for her to remain that the physi
cian went in quest of Mrs. Howard, who
rather unwillingly consented, and Mary
was duly installed as nurse. Perfectly
delighted with her new vocation, she
would sit for hours by her charge. She
possessed a very sweet, clear voice; and
frequently, when all other means had
failed to quiet him, she would bend her
face near his, and taking his hands in
hers, would sing to him some simple song
of home, until lulled by the soft music
he would fall awny to sleep. Such un
wearied kindness was not without its ef
fect upon George, and one day when
Mary as usual was sitting near him, be
called her to his side, and taking her face
between his hands, kissed her forehead
and lips, saying, "What can I ever da to
pay my little nurse for her kindness?"
Mary hesitated a moment, and then
replied, "Love me as well as you do
Ellal" ' ' '
"As well as I do Ella!" he repeated;
"I love you a great deal better. She has
not been to see me once. What Is the
reason?"
Frank, who a moment before had stol
en to Mary's side, answered, saying,
"Someone told Ella that if she should
have the fever, her curls would all drop
off; and so she won't come near you!"
Just then Mrs. Howard appeared, and
this time she was accompanied by Ella,
who clung closely to her mother's skirts.
George did not as usual caress her, but
he asked her mockingly, "if her hair had
commenced coming out!" while Ella only
answered by grasping at her long curls,
as if to reassure herself of their safety.
In a few days George was able to go
on deck, and though he still petted and
played with Ella, he never again slight
ed Mary. At last, after uiaBy weary
days, there came the joyful news that
land was In sight; and next morning Bos
ton, with Its numerous domes and spires,
was before them. Toward noon a pleas
ant looking, middle-aged man came on
board, inquiring for George Moreland,
and announcing himself aa Mr. Selden.
George immediately stepped forward,
and after greeting his uncle, introduced
Mr. and Mrs. Howard, speaking at the
same time of their kindness to him during
his Illness. All was now confusion, but
In the hurry and bustle of going ashore
George did not forget Mary. Taking
her aside he threw round her neck a
small golden chain, to which was attach
ed a locket containiug a miniature like
ness of himself painted a year before. .
"Keep it," said he, "to remember me
by, or if yon get tired of it, give It to
Ella for a plaything."
"I wish I had one for you," said Mary,
and George replied, "Never mind, I can
remember your looks without a likeness."
Then bidding adieu to Mr. and Mrs.
Howard, Frank and Ella, he sprang into
his uncle's carriage and was rapidly
driven away. Mary looked after him as
long as the heads of the white horses
were in sight, and then taking Frank's
hand, followed her parents to the hotel,
.where for a few days they had deter
mined to stop while Mrs. Howard made
inquiries for her sister.
Meantime from the windows of a large,
handsome building a little girl looked
out, impatiently waiting her father's re
turn, wondering why he was gone so long
and if she should like her cousin George.
In the center of the room the dinner
table was standing, and Ida Selden had
twice changed the location of her cousin's
plate, once placing it at her Ride, and
lastly putting it directly in front, so she
could have a fair view of his face.
"Why don't they come?" she had said
for the twentieth time, when the sound
of carriage wheels in the yard below
made her start up, and, running down
stairs, tilie was soon slinking the hands
of her cousin, whom she decided to bo
handsome. Placing her arm affectionate
ly around him, she led him into the par
lor, saying: "I am so glad that you have
come to live with me and be my brother.
We'll have real nice times, but perhaps
you dislike little girls. Did you ever see
one that you loved?"
"Yes, two," was the answer. " My
cousin Ida and one other."
"Oh, who is she?" asked Ida. "Tell
me about her. How does she look? Is
she pretty?"
George told her of Mary, who had
watched bo kindly over him during the
weary days of his illness.
"I know I should like her," Ida said.
"They are poor, you say, and Mr. How
ord is a music teacher. Monsieur Du
pres has just left me, and who knows but
papa can get Mr. Howard to fill his
place."
When the subject was referred to her
father be said that he had liked the ap
pearance of Mr. Howard, and would, If
possible, find him on the morrow and en
gage his services. The next morning the
sky was dark with angry clouds, from
which the rain was steadily falling. All
thoughts of Mr. Howard were given np
for that day, and as every moment of
Mr. Seldcn's time was employed for sev
eral successive ones, it was nearly a
week after George's arrival before any
inquiries were made for the family. The
hotel at which they had stopped was then
found, but Mr. Selden was told that the
persons whom he was seeking had left
the day before for ooe of the inland
towns, though which one he could not as
certain. .
CHAPTER II.
It was the afternoon for the regular
meeting of the Ladies' Sewing Society in
the little village of Chicopee, and at the
usual hour groups of ladies were seen
wending their way toward the stately
mansion of Mrs. Campbell, the wealthi
est and proudest lady m town. The spa
ciiins sitting room, the music room ad
joining, and the wide, cool hall bejoad
were thrown open to all, sad by tare
o'clock they were nearly filled.
At first there wu almost perfect si
lence, broken only by whisper or un
dertone, but gradually tha hum of voices
Increased, until at last there was t great
deal more talking than worklug. Then
for a time there was again silence while
Mrs. Johnson, president or wa
told of the extreme destitution In Which
she bad that morning found poor Eng
lish family who had moved Into the vil
lage two or three years before. They
had managed to earn comfortable liv
ing until the husband and father sudden
y died, since which time tfce wi fet
health had been very rapidly failing, nd
she was no longer able to work, but was
wholly -dependent for subsistence upon
the exertions of her oldest child, Frank,
and the charity of the villagers. The day
before the Hewing society Froik had been
taken seriously 111 with what threatened
to be scarlet fever.
The sick woman In whom Mrs. John
son was so much Interested wu Mrs.
Howard. All Inquiries for hsr sisters
had been fruitless. Since we last saw
them a sickly baby had been added to
their number. With motherly care little
Mary each day washed and dressed it,
and then hour after hour carried It In her
aims, trying to still its feeble moans,
which fell so sadly on the ear of her In
valid mother.
It was a small, low building which
they inhabited, containing but one room
and a bedroom, which they had ceased
to occupy, for one by one each article of
furniture had been sold, until at last airs.
Ilnu-srd lav unon a rude lounge, which
Frank had made from some rough boards.
Until midnight the little fellow tolled, and
then when his work was done crept sori
I,. i.s tha oiinhnaril. where 1V one slice
of bread, the only article of food which
the house contained. Long ana wtstiutiy
he looked at it, thinking how good It
would taste; but one glance at the pale
derided him. "They need it
more than 1," said he, and turning reso
lutely away, he prayed tnat ne niigni
sleep pretty soon and forget how hungry
he was."
One morning when he attempted to
kn fuit nnnri'iKPil with a lanmor he
had never experienced, and turning on
hi. trundle-lied and adjusting hit blue
cotton jacket, his only pillow, he again
slept so soundly tnat Mary was onugeu
to call him twice ere she aroused him.
That night he came home wild with de
ni,t"he Imd earned a whole dollar, and
be knew how he could earn another half
dollar to-morrow. Oh, I wish It would
come quick," said he, as he related bis
success to his mother,
lint atuat the morrow found him burn
ing with fever, and when he attempted
to stand he found it impossinie io uo so.
A case of scarlet fever had appeared In
the village, and It soon became evident
that the disease had fastened upon
Frank. The morning following the sew
ing society Ella Campbell and several
other children showed symptoms of the
same disease, and in the season of gen
eral sickness which followed few were
left to care for the poor widow. Dally
little Frank grew worse. m uoimr u
t,a,t mad was none, the basket of pro
visions Mrs. Johnson had sent was gone,
and when for milk naDy Alice ci-ieu, mere
was none to give her.
(To be continued.!
SEEM ALIVE, THOUGH DEAD.
Instances In Which Corpies Hare Had
the Semblance of Life.
Live persons have feigned dr-ath
with marvelous exactness, but when
the dead feign life, or seem to feign
life, the spectacle Is as grewsome as can
well be Imagined. "
Not long ago a Russlnn cemetery was
the scene of as weird a wedding as
over has been witnessed. A young
glti who had been betrothed died on
the eve of her marriage and her friends
decided that, In spite of the intervening
hand of death, her marriage must take
place. The wedding ceremony was
performed at the side of the grave, and
after the marriage the body was re
turned to the coffin and lowered to its
long resting place..
It Is not long ago that a valuable cup
was won in a bicycle race in Australia
by a man who was dead when he pass
ed the winning post. The race took
place at an "electric light carnival," so
called, In the presence of 10,000 spec
tators. In the last lap James Somer
vllle, a rider, forged to the front and
secured such a lead that his victory
was assured. When within twenty
five yards of the finish he was seen to
relax his hold on the handle bar and
lose his footing on the pedals. He did
not fall from the machine, however,
and amid frantic cheers dashed by the
goal, winning the race by half a wheel.
As he passed the finishing post he
pitched forward and fell to the ground.
When he was picked up he was found
dead, and what was more the doctors
declared that death had come to him
when he was seen to lose his hold of
the handle bars. It was a dead body
that had ridden the last twenty-five
yard of the race.
On a recent voyage the sealing
schooner Arletis was cruising about
200 miles off the coast of British Colum
bia, when she sighted a dismantled
ship. The Arietls bore down upon the
derelict, and as she got near enough a
man was seen on board grasping the
wheel and apparently steering the
craft. No other sign of man was seen
on the ship. The man at the wheel was
hailed, but returned no answer just
stood there looking straight ahead. A
boat was lowered and the mysterious
ship boarded. When they came close
to the man at the wheel they saw with
horror that he was dead and had evi
dently been dead for many days. The
ship which was named the General SI;
Hn, had sailed from San Francisco for
Alaska. She had clearly been blsman
tled In a gale and then abandoned by
her crew. The captain had refused to
leave the ship, and, finding his strength
falling, he had lashed himself to the
wheel and literally died at his post,
steering his craft for hundreds of miles
with hands that held the wheel in as
firm a grip as when alive.
Since the plague has been prevalent
In India searching parties go through
the villages Inspecting the houses with
the Idea of seeing that all cases of
death by the plague are reported to the
authorities. On entering a suspected
house one day the Inspectors saw a
group of natives playing cards. Some
thing In the appearance of one of the
players attracted the attention of one
of the Inspectors, who placed his hand
upon the man's shoulder. To his
amazement the man swayed and fell
to the floor. Upon examination It was
found that he had been dead some time,
but in order to avoid having the bouse
marked as plague-stricken the other In
mates had concealed the fact of hit
death.-Chicago Chronicle.
rrd of
bkcr
If a recent report from London, Ky.,
that the Baker-Howard feud has been
finally settled Is correct It will put an
end to a warfare which bus lasted for
moic tbnn thirty years, which lias cost
the lives of more than thirty men, and
has several times necessitated the call
ing out of tho State troops with gntltng
guns and loaded rifles.
"Bloody Clay" County, the scene of
the famous feud, Is perhaps the most
remarkable as It Is one of the best
known counties lu the country. There
is not a mile of rHllroad or even a
wagon bridge with its limits. The
whole country la covered with high
hills, so close together that It Is de
clared there Is not a piece of level land
In the county a sixth of a mile square.
Down and between all these wood-covered
hills are the beds of streams which
are dry lu summer time aud are turned
Into roaring torrents In the spring and
winter. The people of Cluy County
travel either on horseback or on foot,
and they use the beds of those streams
In the place of rods. Some of the hills
are quite high, ad In several Instances
MA.NCHKSTKR, XT., JAIL,
the tops of two hills, which are 400 feet
In height, are less than 200 feet apart.
Often a cornfield, which begins down
lu a gully, will run up several hundred
feet In the course of a few rods, and
several farmers have been killed by
falling off their cornfields.
The citizens of Clny County are al
most nil the descendants of people who
settled there In 1770 or thereabouts.
Strangers aro not encouraged to move
Into the county, aud there Is nothing to
attract Immigrants, even If they were
welcomed. I'or more than a century
and a quarter the land has been held
by comparatively few families, who
have Intermarried until practically all
the population is related In different de
grees of consanguinity.
Over much of the country the forest
Is still unbroken and untouched, and
the hills are full of deep aud mysteri
ous ravines.' The only Industries are
the raising of hogs, mules, and corn,
some of which Is suld to be turned Into
moonshine whisky at hidden stills.
The people are by nature taciturn and
almost sullen. They rarely laugh, and
are given to moods and brooding. In
personal appearance they are all of the
same general type, tall, averaging over
ti feet, and dark, with black hair and
eyes. The women are also large and
dark, and a few of them have any
claims to good looks. Scattered about
among the hills aud usually near the
creeks are the little one-story log cab-
Ins, In which the larger part of Clay
County's population lives. These cab
Ins are built In a most primitive man
ner, with clay between the logs and a
huge clay and stone chimney at one
end, which Is often almost as large as
the rest of the house.
Some of the people of Clay County
have Indian blood In their veins. Others
are descended from old Scotch border
families. Absolute and democratic
equality prevails among them all. The
power of money Is unknown, probably
because there Is so little money within
the Bnilts of the county. They are di
vided into clans, claiming descent from
some common ancestor of distinction,
ind the poorest of them is always ready
to hold his own and defend his honor
at the point of a rifle or revolver. To
all a man a liar In Clay County means
at least one and probably half a dozen
deaths. Everybody In the county
knows everybody else, and It Is taken
for granted thnt a stranger Is either a
government officer or a detective look
ing for some of the feud wnrrlors.
Therefore there are few visitors to Clay
County, and those who go once are not
at all likely to return a second time.
Every Clny County boy has a rifle by
the time he Is 15 and In many cases
he has taken part In one or more of the
feud battles before he has reached that
age. They are all good shots and they
keep up to the times In the line of the
latest and most improved weapons. A
favorite amusement In Clay County Is
the shooting out of cabin windows by
a party of prominent citizens riding
their mules home through the hills
after partaking freely of "corn Juice."
With this knowledge of the country
and Its people it Is easier to understand
how a feud like that one which has
just come to an end might find Its be
ginning in a trivial cause and be con
tinued for years, being handed down
from generation to generation.
In 1844 Dr. Abner Baker, a promi
nent physician of Clay County, shot
and killed his brother-in-law, Daniel
Bates. Ir. Baker engaged as his at
torney Daniel Garrard, the head of
one of the great families of the county
and the son of the second Governor of
the State. Hugh White, a man of al
most equal prominence, took the lead
ing part In Baker's prosecution. Dr.
Baker; vas convicted and finally hung.
Ever since that time the Garrard fami
ly, one of the few wealthy families of
the county, hag backed the Bakers in
all their troubles, while the Whites,
who for years have controlled all the
county offices, have always been ready
to espouse the caue of the people who
for the time being were fighting the
Bakers. ? 0
For that reason the feud which has
Just been ended Is known as the Gar-1
rard Baker-White-Howard feud. It be-J
gan In a quarrel between Tom Baker
j r "W"
pllfiiifisll
V
tho
Hr?wxrd
and A. B. Howard. Baker lived with
his wife and a family of ten children
in a one-story log cabin on Craln Creek
twelve miles from Manchester. How
ard, who owned a few hills near by,
hired Baker to cut some timber on bli
lnnd. He did not like the way Bnkei
did the work and quarreled with hltn
about It. An appeal to the ever-ready
rifles was promptly taken. "Tom"
Baker and his brothers laid out In am
bush like Indians one night and shot
and killed one of Howard's sons and
one of his employes and severely
wounded the elder Howard. Anothei
son of Howard waited his chance and
put a bullet through the head of "Tom"
Bilker's elder brother. "Tom" Bukei
took it for granted that Sheriff White
had Instigated the killing of his brothel
and took the first opportunity to kill
William L. White, whose crime was
that he was tho Sheriffs brother. A
few days later Gilbert Garrard, son ol
the present head of the Garrard family,
was shot at from ambush as he was
riding his mule home from church. lit
escaped unhurt and took occasion to
move out of the county. But his fathei
was made of sterner stuff. When noti
fied that as the backer of the Bakers he
was In danger of assassination he hired
a nephew of "Tom" Baker and a negro
man to guard his premises at nlghl
with dogs and rifle. Within two weeks
after the guard was set both of th
men were shot and killed from am
bush. Meanwhile Sheriff White wss mak
ing efforts to arrest "Tom" Baker foi
the murder of his brother. But Bakei
did not like the Idea of falling into the
hands of the White-Howard faction.
Accordingly he took to the hills, where
a man might hide for years with abso
lute security. Finally the State sent a
hundred militiamen, armed to the teeth
and accompanied by a gntling gun, up
Into Clny County to force Baker's sur
render and to protect him from the vio
lence of the opposing faction. Baker
surrendered and was taken under
guard to Manchester, where he was
confined In a guard tent pitched In the
courthouse yard and surrounded by the
troops. Half an hour before the case
was to be called for trial bo stepped to
the front of the tent to look around.
Instantly a shot rang out, coming from
the house of Sheriff White, directly
across the street, and "Tom" Buker fell
bnck dead Into the arms of his wife.
Almost before he had gasped his last
and before the startled militiamen had
recovered from their surprise and hor-
TTPICAI. HOMB IN THK PIOKON ROOST.
ror, Mrs. Baker, the newly made
widow, called her ten children around
the body of their father and there
swore each of them never to rest until
the death had been avenged.
Then "hell bust loose in Clay," as
they say on the other side of the Ohio.
Both the Garrard-Baker and the White
Howard factions hired aud armed a
number of men to fight for them, lay
ing fl a day and ammunition, bacon,
and corn bread in plenty for such ser
vices. Now the word comes from London
that more than twenty of these pro
fessional fighters have enlisted In the
United States army and that old Gen.
Garrard, once a distinguished Federal
cavalry leader, has given his word to
Judge Beverly White that the feud,
shall come to an end.
Menial Innocence.
The stupidity of servants Is a trial
to the most even-tempered mistress,
but It sometimes serves to amuse the
other members of the household. There
was a girl who belonged to the familiar
category of "children and fools."
"If anyone should call this afternoon,
Mary, say that I am not well," said
a mistress to a newly engaged servant.
"I'm afraid I ate a little too much of
that rich pudding for dinner, and It, or
something else, has brought on a- se
vere headache. I am going to He
down."
A few moments later the mistress,
from her room at the head of the stairs,
heard Mary say to two aristocratic la
dles who called for the first time:
"Yes'in, Mrs. B is at home, but
she ate so much pudding for dinner
she had to go to bed." London King.
First Railroad Incorporation.
The first railroad act of Incorporation
granted by any state In the Union was
given by the Maryland Legislature to
the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad Com
pany on Feb. 28, 1S27. On April 24
of the same year the first railroad
company In the United States organ
ized as the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
Company. Teter Cooper on Aug. 2.8.
1830, made the first Journey from Bal
timore to Elllcott's Mills.
A Remarkable Bequest.
There are some curious documents
filed In the county offices In St. Joseph.
Mich. Terhaps the niot curious of all
is the will of a prominent Xiles town-"
ship farmer, who went to claim his fu
ture reward some years before the
Civil Wat". The remarkable part about
the will Is a passage leaving 50 cents
to his daughter's husband "to buy a
rope to hang his d self with."
There Is nothing a loafer enjoys bet
ter than looking wise on election night
wjien returns are coming in.
. -'..W'f-s Mi...
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Joltea and Jokelcta that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently lium-Haylngs
and Dolnusthat Are OM, Curious and
J.aughabl-T&e Week's Humor.
"Sometimes," said Senator Sorghum,
pensively, "I am Inclined to look on
what some people call honesty as
downright egotism."
"I don't quite understand you."
"Well, I don't know as I can make it
absolutely clear. But I have always
gone on the principle that every ninn
has his price."
"So I have observed."
"Well, sir, the bids that some people
have refused would Indicate a self-valuation
which deserves to be character
ized by no less an epithet than 'Inor
dinate vanity.' "-Washington Stnr.
Kxnugerated.
Gabb-Stretchlt told me that he once
saw four liens' eggs which weighed a
pound each.
Blabli I think It's an Instance of
eggs-agerutlon.-Ohlo State Journal.
Gave Himself Away.
Merchant Arc your habits all cor
rect? Applicant for Puslt ionYes, sir.
Merchant (after a pause) Do you
drink?
Applicant (absently) Thnnks. Don't
care If 1 do.
Cum bernome.
"Do you consider it good taste for a
woman who marries to retain her for
mer name and merely add her hus
band's to It?"
'Certainly not," answered the lady
from Chicago. 'There is a charming
friend of mine, a grass widow, who,
under such a system, would be known
as Mrs. Eliza Jenkliisby-Sinlth-Thomp-
son-Brown-Smlthers and several more
that I can't remember." Washington
Star.
Not His Wife.
Closeflst Does your wife eternally
pester you for money?
Graspit No, the people she buys
things from do that. Ohio State Jour
mil.
So Won't! They A'l.
"It's easy enough to tell," remarked
the girl In the fur Jacket, "thnt men
write the paragraphs In "tho newspa
pers. They nre always putting lu little
slurs on women."
"I'd rather have any man write about
me than to have some other woman do
It," replied the girl with the retrousse
nose. Chicago Tribune.
Shorter lrocei.
Mrs. Chugwater Joslnh. the paper
says $200,000 worth of outs changed
hands In a few minutes. How could
they do all that lu so short a time?
Mr. Chugwater The oats didn't real
ly cliauge hands. The cash changed
pockets. A woman oughtn't to try to
understand these things. They're away
beyond her. Chicago Tribune.
Well, Hardly Kver.
Faith I wouldn't marry the
best
man in the world.
Hone Of course not. you goose. The
bride never marries the liest man.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Isn't this a queer spot to plant seeds,
little boy?"
"e ain't plantln' no seeds. These
are InJIn relics for the summer board
ers to find."-The King.
j Peculiarities.
i "What kind of a man Is your em
ployer?" asked one young man.
j "Oh, he's peculiar," answered the
j other. "He thinks that simply because
i he has satisfied his customers and
made money he knows more about how
! his business ought to le run than 1
' do." Washington Star.
' Contratiicte 1.
I "Here's a scientist who says that we
! think with one-half of our brain."
I "Well, I could show him some people
who don't." Puck.
i Caught.
She Do you believe-In this theory
about spreading disease by kissing?
! He Well, they say there's something
; In It.
"Did you ever catch anything by
! kissing a girl?"
i "Yes, once; her father saw me at it."
! Yonkers Statesman.
Farce Comedy.
"I see the druggists are forming a
trust to maintain retail prices."
"The stage Is not the only place
where one finds farce-comedy." Ohio
State Journal.
More Hednctive.
"See here," said the lobbyist of the
future, "I want you to secure the vote
of Mrs. State Senator Jones, of the
'Steenth district. You ought to get It
for $100."
"Ol my!" exclaimed his female as
sistant, "I wouldn't think of offering
her that." 0
"You don't mean to say she'll want
more?"
"O! no. I'll offer her ?98.0S."-rhll
adeJphla Press.
Quite ImlUpensaltle.
Towne-l've seen Gnzley several
nights recently with tils field glass. I
wonder what his game Is.
Browne O! he's calling on Miss Kul-
cher, of Boston.
Tow tio -The Idea! What does he car
ry field glasses for?
Browne He doesn't. He merely uses
the case to curry a dictionary In.
Philadelphia Press.
K it - w Hira Hetter.
Mrs. Culler-Surely, you're not Jeal
ous of your husband?
Mrs. Chellus Yes. lain. He simply
can't keep his eyes off the women.
Mrs. Caller O! yes, he can. You
should see him some time when he ha
a seat In a crowded street cur. Phila
delphia Press.
Denrlv Hoiiuht Knowlediir.
Rivers -This "Order of the Buffaloes"
only shows that the fools are not all
dead yet.
Brooks Yes? How much did It cost
you to Join? Chicago Tribune.
Yet He Il. tu t I'.oy.
"These cigars, suld the dealer, "are
the kind Senator Lotsmuu smokes."
"But Senator Lot sin uu has sworn off
from smoking," the customer reminded,
hi in.
"Well, this Is the kind he swore off
from." Chicago Tribune.
In Hi I mi.
First Native And the missionaries
want compensation for their property.
Second Native Dear me! Haven't
they a text that if a man takes your
coat you are to give him your cloak,
also?-Puck.
Two Wnltins for Him.
Kownders Well, there's one time at
least when a fellow's sincerely glad
that he's not a polygamlst, and that's
when he conies home late from thu
club.
De Ka titer Well, on such occasions
I Invariably see apparent evidence that
I'm at least a bigamist. Philadelphia
Press.
The Cnres of Klch-n.
"Do you find the possession of a
large sum of money occasions worry?"
said the Inquisitive man.
"I do," answered the millionaire.
"What sort of worry?"
"Worry for fear somclioily Is going
to get It away from me." Washington
Star.
A farcies Kemiirk.
"I am really afraid you hurt that ac
tor's feelings," said Miss Cayenne.
"In what way?"
"You said he played Ills part very
well. You know he Is very sensitive,
and by using the word 'part,' he may
liave thought you were trying to Imply
that he Is not the whole show."
Washington Star.
Sliding; Scule for Wedding; Fees.
Erastus Pawson. what you' charge
toe marry me nn' Mary Jane?
Parson Twenty dollars.
Ernstus Lo'd, dat's high. What yo'
charge to marry me to 'Liza Siulf?
Parson-One diillnr. Yo' see, I ad
lii In Lis Mary .Time imthself.
A Molest It que.
Mrs. Chattertou I should like to go
shopping this afternoon.
Chattertou But, honest, my dear, I
haven't got a dollar In iny pocket.
Mrs. Chattertou (lightly) Oh. .well,
then, you might give me ninety-eight
cents. Puck.
No Wonder.
"I got Into an argument with BIggett
coming home In a crowded car last
night and It didn't take me long to
make him acknowledge the corn."
"You don't mean It, really?"
"Yes; I accidentally trod on his foot."
Philadelphia Press.
Just the Heveme.
Fresh I hear our 'varsity team is
going to piny with the Brooklyn
Lenguers next week.
Soph No, I'm afraid the lenguers
are going to piny with our team. Phil
adelphia Press.
An Unwilllnit Victim,
First Reporter I guess I'll take a
little of your tobacco, if you don't
mind.
Second Reporter I don't care how
little you take. SommervUle Journal.
Paradoxic it.
Quizzer You say you don't believe
In aerial navigation?
Cy Nick No.
Quizzer But what about these people
you hear of walking on air? Ohio
State Journal.
An Indicntion.
He How innocent Miss Prlscilla Is:
She blushes at everything I say to her.
She That Isn't innocence, that's re
finement. Life.
Another Illusion Destroyed.
"I wish you hadn't had your hair cut
so short, Harold," exclaimed the young
woman, turning from him involun
tarily. "What difference does that make,
dearest?" asked Harold with tender
anxiety.
"You you have destroyed an illu
sion," she sighed. "That is all."
"You didn't think I was a poet, did
jvu, viaiai uciuunc x ttUIC 111 y Mull
long?"
"No, I never suspected you of being
a poet."
"Nor an artist?"
"No."
"Then, what illusion, have I de
stroyed?" he asked.
"Perhaps I should say, Harold." she
answered, with tears In her voice, "that
you have unconsciously revealed a fact
I never susfiected, dear. Yours ears
don't match!" Stray Stories.
Cotlege-IIred Men.
. According to recent statistics, there
Is one man In -aboftt 500 In .the-United
States who receives a college training.
Crazy men and fools are poor lnstruc-