o
From tlie depths of a silver mine in
which be wielded tbt pick a a day labor
er, obscure ami unknown, to a seut in
tbe United States Senate, tbe possessor
of millions In ready cash and mines and
all that within ten short years bus come
to TboniHS Kearns. a native of New
York. Tbe "Silver King" of stage fiction
has abdicated in fuvor of tbe "Silver
King" in reul life, for tbe lurid drama
with which Wilson liurrett roused us
years ago bas been outdone by tbe tale of
"Tom" Kearns' life achievement.
Tbe man wbo bus been received Into
America's highest legislative body as a
representative of the State of Utah bus
bad a most extraordinary career. Bruin,
brawn and "backbone" brought bin) from
the level of the "hired man," the plod
ding, drudging ".Man witb the Hoe" of
Markbam to the plane of the man of
large affairs, the employer of many men
and a maker of the nation's laws.
The rise of Thomas Kearns was sud
den, and bis career bns been meteoric,
lie was born In New York in 18ti2, and
consequently is but 39 years of age.
From tbe Empire Htate early In bis youth
be journeyed out to the wilds of the Ne
braska prairies, where he toiled as a
farm laborer. Tiring of digging for po
tatoes and the like on the plains, he de
termined to dig for more valuable
"crops" In the Black Hills, where he re
mained for some time, and then went
to Utah.
He had pluck and perseverance, and,
though less than ten years ago he was
V
: A
HEU WEIGHT IN (iOLD.
RANSOM PAID A
ERIGAND.
V.
SENATOR THOMAS KKARXS.
working as a laborer for something like
$3 a day, those qualities, coupled with
that elusive thing known as good luck,
finally brought him to the position of
the foremost mine owner in the State, a
leading railroad director and Senator,
with a fortune of from $3,000,000 to $3,-000.000.
In bis earlier years, according to l
candidate for the place which went to
Kearus, the new Senator was a master
of the fistic art, and tins manner in which
he applied ring knockout trt-tics In the
defeat of his lute senatorial adversanea.
skilled aud determined as they were,
would Indicate exceptional fighting quali
ties. Mr. Kearns bowled over Mr. Salisbury,
a newspaper editor; Mr. McCormick, a
banker; Mr. Brown, a lawyer, the lead
lug candidates, and several lesser lights.
Tbe Democratic members gave their hon
orary support to A. V. McCune, the
leading candidate when there was a dead
lock in the legislature two years previ
ous. The advancement of Thomas Kearns
began with bis connection with the Ou
tario mine aud witb David Keith, who is
now bis partner In the ownership of the
most famous of J'tuh's producers, the
Silver King group of mines at Turk City.
This property is worth more than $10.
000,000, it is estimated, and last year
alone paid more than $1,000,000 In divi
dends. After working for seven years as a la
borer In the Ontario mine, Mr. Kearns,
with Mr. Keith aud others, took a lease
on the Mayflower, In tbe same camp. It
was a good venture, and Mr. Kearns
there laid the foundation for his future
great success as a mine owner. Later on
other claims were acquired und the May
flower group was extended nud rcchrist
ened the Silver King, nnd Mr. Kearns
Is now known as the "Silver King"
through this association.
WORLDLY BEAUTY.
Don't grieve over friends departed,
If lost or living or dead;
Be jolly and bright and bappy
And you'll find many more Instead.
And the world is full of beauty
For those who can suffer and smile,
While the sweetest task is duty.
Though adrift on a barren isle.
If you're worthy of love, you'll get It,
And there never was yet a day
That I couldn't see some beauty
As I traveled my worldly way.
John A. Joyce, Washington Post
---(
TWO POINTS OF VIEW.
Get
MOCKINGBIRD, drunk with
sunshine and the scent of apple
blossoms, wus flying from tree
to tree aud caroling ecstatlcally-an
animated spring song gone mnd.
From tbe door of tbe little brown
house at tbe head of tbe orchard
emerged a wee, rosy maiden, herself as
dainty and sweet as an apple blossom.
Her lmlr was primly brushed back aud
tightly plaited, aud her gingham dress
was a miracle of crisp starchness.
She ran down the steps, across tbe
irnnl nnd neered through the lilac
hedire. A lanky, slovenly boy of 14
was stretched upon the grass, deep In a
book.
"Rob," she said In a stage whisper,
"come here."
"What do you want?" drawled the
boy, without moving.
"Come here! I've something to tell
you."
He arose slowly, shaking back his
unkempt hair, shuffling his unlaced
shoes Into place, and slouched across
the yard.
"Mr. Ames proposed to Aunt Lucy
last night; I hoard him."
"Oh, go way!"
"He truly did. You see, I was In the
hammock In the grape arbor, and they
didn't know I was there."
"Listening!" said tbe boy, scornfully.
"I was not! I was listening to the
mockingbird. It was spinning among
the apple blossoms and singing like a
crazy thing Just as it is doing now. I
think it snug all night, for I heard it
whenever I woke. What do you sup
pose it does that for?"
"I dunno. Bee stung It tnebbe.
on with your rat klllin."
"Well, I didn't notice a word they
said until I heard a chair scrape across
the porch, and he cleared his throat tre
mendously. Then I peeped through
the leaves. He was sitting very close
to her, and he said:
" 'Miss Fhllllps. I I you must have
seen I-that Is, you must know-I
and then he kissed her."
Her eyes were exclamation points!
"Well," snld the boy, breathlessly.
"That's all."
"What!!"
"Ssh! Don't talk so loud. That's all
t o tell vou. Then they were en-
A i - v
eased."
"Gementaly! Why, how'd she know
what be meant?"
"Why, she knew!"
"Must be a mind reader, then."
"Pshaw! She knew from the way he
acted. She's known a long time," said
the miniature woman, with a wise
look.
"Well, of all the fools. And he took
a prize for oratory last year, too. He
Isn't much like a feller I was readin'
about yesterday. He went down on
. his knees, so " And the youngster
flopped down on the grass with the
grace of a jumping kangaroo, and roll
ed his eyes like a cow. "And he said:
Qu-ween of my hear-rt' and a lot more
stuff that I can't remember. It was
silly," he added, falling back Into a
lounging attitude.
"Lend me tbe book."
"Pa got it," he said. Indignantly. "I
hid It behind a row of books in the
bookcase, and he got a-huntin' somep'n
and found it and chucked it Into the
fire. I dou't care. I can write a piece
just as good, an' set It by heart. Catch
me a-makln' such a fool If myself as
that college dude."
"When you have written It may I
read It?"
"Yes," he replied, condescendingly,
"I'll let you see it It'll be a cracker
Jack, you bet"
"Maybe I could help you write It"
she suggested, humbly.
"Oh. I sha'n't need any help," he snld.
complacently. "J know Just how it
jpugbt to go."
"Grown people are so commonplace,"
she sighed. "Do you suppose we'll ever
be like that?"
"Land, no!" said he, as he slouched
back to his book. "If 1 thought I'd ever
be such a fool as that feller, I'd trade
myself off for a dog and thou shoot tbe
dog."
A mockingbird, drunk with moon
light aud dew, wus careering from tree
to tree, singing madly, and sending
showers of pink petals down on a
couple who were wandering through
the orchard.
Her hair was a golden tangle and the
soft folds of her gown fell with studied
carelessness from her Ivory throat. Ills
manner was the manner of a young
man deeply, devotedly In love with the
dearest girl in the world. From his
high shining collar to his polished
shoes, all was Immaculate.
They were sileut. He. because his
tongue refused to speak the words that
were clamoring for utterance. She, be
cause she was sorry for him. It was
not maiden shyness that lurked behind
her demure fuce and downcast lids,
but pure perplexity. No master of
diplomacy ever faced a more delicate
issue than that which confronted her.
"It's exactly eight years since Uncle
John asked Aunt Lucy to marry him,"
she said at length. 'It was In apple
blososm time, and the mockingbird
was singing In tbe moonlight. Tbe
odor and tbe song always bring It back
to me."
"By Jove! Eight years " He was
struck speechless by the contemplation
of so much bliss.
'Do you remember how we laughed
over the proposal? liy tlie way, you
never showed me tbe one that you
talked of writing."
'I never wrote it," he said, witb a
grin that was almost a grimace. Then
witb a tremendous effort, "I do-dou't
you think I er, that is, w-we could
d-dispense with anything of that sort,
Lucy?"
The situation for the next several
moments did not admit of connected
conversation, but as they strolled to
ward the house a little late, she said,
with an arch look: "We've grown up
qi'" as commonplace as tne rest or
tbe world, haven't we?"
"Commonplace!" he ejaculated, fer
vently. "Well, If this Is commonplace,
I "
Another pause, a lengthy one.
"Do you remember wondering why
the mockingbird rioted among the ap
ple blossoms and sang like a mad
thing?" be asked, solemnly, after a
lUue. "I know now. If I could do the
same It wouldn't begin to express my
feelings."
When, after several pauses, they
finally reached the lilac hedge, the
young man startled the nestling robins
with a sudden guffaw of laughter.
With his mind's eye he saw a lanky
boy on his knees in the grass beyond
the hedge.
"A half -grown cub of a boy Is several
kinds of an idiot," he said. Atlanta
Constitution.
from the epoch when the Spaniards, at
the zenith of their glory, made tbe con
quest of America. f
These Panama pearls rival the most
beautiful pearls of the orient Quite
recently, in the spring of 1800. a lad of
15 years found an oyster containing a
pearl which was sold at Paris for 00,
000 francs. For his portion he received
20,000 francs.
A considerable quantity of pearls pro
cured at Panama are sent to New York,
where they do not lack purchasers, says
the Jeweler's Weekly. One consign
ment exceeded In value 750,000 francs.
The Island pearls are thus denominated
on account of the archipelago In which
the oyster fisheries are carried on. It
Is opposite the Bay of Panama. The
archipelago Is composed of sixteen Is
lets, in which are thirty or forty small
villages of negroes and Indians. The
soil is fertile, but the principal occupa
tion is that of the fisheries. The largest
Isle, called Key. alone embraces half of
the population. San Miguel Is the chief
plat c of the fisheries, and there Is a very
tine church. The Inhabitants are near
ly all blacks. They are descended from
the nei:ro population, from whom the
Spaniards learned the advantage they
could derive from the island riches. Iu
certain of tbe islands there must have
been diamond beds. Some fine rough
diamonds were formerly procured.
There are two systems for carrying
on pearl fishing In the Bay of Panama.
Iu certain spots, where the yield is tbe
most abundant, It Is necessary to pay
tbe government a very high tax. At
other points the tax Is small, but a per
centage on the pearls discovered Is add
ed to it Generally these uearls are
rather small. They usually bring from
5 to 50 francs each. Those which reach
150 to 300 francs are already much less
lu number.
MEXICAN
He Had Stolen the Tutor of Rich
Man' Children and the Sweetheart
of 111 Kon-A Romance of the
Mountain.
From tbe mountains of Mexico comes
a story that reads more like a romance
of medieval times than a uarratlon of
occurrences Iu modern life. Indeed It
hardly seems nosslble that even In
Mexico such an event could occur. One
hundred and twenty pounds of gold und
alongside it 120 pounds of girl! Tbe
gold ransomed the girl and the son of
tbe man who paid tlie ransom now Is
the husband of tbe girl.
Among the last lingering bandits of
Mexico Lulgl Cortina still holds place,
his abode, If it may be so called, being
tbe mountain of Western Chihuahua,
whereotTHliontsolTtheSlerra Madres cut
away from the main range by tbe Gulf
of California afford him a biding place.
Tbe rurnles have not yet found him,
nor is It likely they will, for Cortinas
baa Just retired from 'business' with
the proceeds of bis new venture, esti
mated at f lo,(MK). It Is an Ideal bandit
story.
Senor Poyerlma, grown rich by bis
mines, realized, when no longer young,
that his children's education was de
fective. His friend, La France, sug
gested that he send for Lorena Jnrrett,
bis niece, and make her tbe tutor of bis
children. Lorena lived In Texas. She
was gent for and came quickly. She
became more than a tutor to the chil
dren. The son saw In her much to ad
mire. They became lovers. Frequently
they rode out together Into the mountains.
It wasononeof these Joyous, free rides
that the shadow of Cortina fell upon
them. It happened thut Miss Jarrett
and young Poyerlma were riding along
In tbe foot bills, drinking In the scenery
and stimulated by the wine-like ntinos
pliere of autumn, when two men step-
An Interlop-r.
Old Gentleman-Here, sir, how Is It I
catch you kissing my daughter?
Tbe Iver-Hy sneaking lu on us, Blr.
-Philadelphia Press.
There was an agreement as to a place
and time for meeting, and young Poy
erlma rode away with his own horse,
leaving Miss Jarrett to wonder what
fate had In store for her.
Young Poyerlma lost no time In hur
rying home. He speedily acquainted
his father with tbe facts. Ordering the
pack animals to the front of the haci
enda, he loaded two of them with sucks
of gold, partly In bars and purtly In
coin, and, tbe son leading the way, tbe
party set out to the hills to keep Cor-
Una's appointment Reaching there,
they found that a scale had been made
by balancing a pole over the bough of
a tree, and at one end a hoop of leather
thongs showed where the young woman.
wbo was to be the weight, should sit
Attbeotber an open-mouthed sack hung
ready to receive Poyerlma'a gold.
Miss Jarrett was brought from the
woods nnd placed In the sent. She al
most fainted with fear, for she knew
nothing of the strange ceremony In
which she was taking part, although
the presence of the Poyerltnns, father
and son, rensurred her. But she real
ized her position when the peons began
pouring tbe gold Into the sack.
Just as the pole tipped Cortina step
ped forward.
"Not another peso!" he railed out,
grandiloquently. "I said her weight In
gold, and that Is enough."
Then she was given Into the care of
Poyerlma. while Cortina, with many
flourishes and bow s and adlos. followed
bis men back Into the woods.
There was a wedding soon after, as
might be expected. Mrs. Poyerlma
lives with her young husband at the
marble quarry In Texas. Just across the ! Jones-Do you object to your boy
line, nnd tells tbe story only when tbe playing football?
neighbors press her to. But tbe Mex- I Smith-No, Indeed; the policy Is made
lcan call her "La sposa del oro"-the .out In my favor.
wife of gold.
lie Cou'dn't Loe.
Jtpp
Koxjr Yonth,
Klderly-I saw you witb the charm
ing Miss lledstrong to-day. I know her
parents very well.
Younginim-Do you? I wish you'd put
In a bad word for me with I hem.
Elderly You mean a "good" word, of
course.
Youngiiiim-No, I don't. If I can only
get her parents to oppose tne I'll laud
the girl suie.-PhlladelphIa Press.
THOSE TERRIBLE EYES.
Senator Cani Could Annihilate Man
with a l.-iok.
Giant heads, bodies and brains were
Webster and Cass. All the strength ot
New Hampshire granite was concen
trated In those two sons. To look upon
them made tbe ordinary man feel
I Greatest Force,
j Tommy Pop, what Is the greatest
1 force In local politics?
I Tommy's Pop The police force, my
son. Philadelphia Record.
He Knew llettrr.
"Oh, John," she cried, "baby's, cut a
tooth."
"Aw. go 'way!' broke In little Willie,
who was playing on the floor. "You
can't cut a tooth! You may break It
but you can't cut It." Chicago Post.
The Other Hide.
"I suppose your experience Is that a
good tnimy tenants find it cheaper to
keep moving than to pay rent?" re
marked tbe Inquisitive man.
"No doubt," replied the candid real
estate agent, "and we frequently find
It cheaper to keep them moving than
to mifke the repairs they require."
Philadelphia Press.
Just Witfiiled.
"How did Eleanor announce her en
gagement?" N
"Just wiggled the finger that wore
i the diamond ring." Puck.
AGAIN THE UNLUCKY THIRTEEN.
CHURCHES DECKED IN PEARLS,
Ware Treaanre the Bay of r.inama
Yielded to Spaniards.
When the stranger arrives at Seville
and Toledo and the guides conduct him
to the cathedrals of those old cities he
Is struck with their magnificence and
the abundance of the pearls which are
their finest decoration. These pearls
came from the Bay of Panama aud date
Children of the Soil.
The Cape of Good Hope was discover
ed by Diaz, the Portuguese navigator.
ni venrs before Columbus saw Sun
v
Unth century the Dutch East lM&.XZ?"?$L
1 Hi i'.tJJ
'm " lip
Sykes (counting the Judge and Jury) I alius said as 'ow thirteen wos an
unlucky number.
BRIGANDS ORDERED THEM TO DISMOUNT.'
Company formed a permanent settle
ment at the foot of Table mountain.
The first settlers were French Hugue
nots, Dutch Protestants and German
Lutherans. As Immigration Increased
fim hnrdv nlonecrs moved north from
m ... , . f Hl'llil'illU HI 1 1 ,1,1
eld , Here as -ieV delivered In most choice language,
;,StSbegan that lonely life which has thore
developed in Its o lowers courage, seir LroXUoy slowly clamberei
reliance, love of Independence and of tor s at.u so y ,
solitude, the leading traits or tlie uoer
of to-day. They were called "boer,1
which Is the Dutch word for farmer.
rifles at them ordered tuei
mount.
Of course they complied. In fact re
sistance was impossible, and they offer
ed none. The bandits tied the hands of
their captives behind them and ordered
them to move ou. The orders were not
but
ng them,
cap
inhered tbe
steen narrow trail Iu the hills
At last they reacheu a spot mat
seemed to suit the views of their cap
tors for a stopping place. I he camp
ing was brief and simple. They were
ordered to sit down-on the ground.
They complied.
The cantors then went to playing
Odd Way ot Dividing Wealth
A wealthy Greek who recently died
In Corfu hit upon a novel way of dis-
of his wealth. According to his
will he has left In trust his money to cards, not for amusement, but to divide
the archbishop of the island, who is to the spoils. The winner was to have the
hand over the Interest of It to one poor girl-la muchacha-and the loser must
r-ntnr orai-ir rna r vtrhn will he selected dntnnt himself with the boy. It be-
iciau ' J J . . . , w ., ... -
by lot. Each year the names of claim
ants will be sent in to the archbishop,
who Is required to make full Investi
gation into the merits of the case.
Those thus chosen will then ballot for
the coveted charity.
Ilia Cuttnmary State.
"Your friend Tackey is 'way off in
Honolulu now. Doesn't that surprise
you?"
"It does and It doesn't."
"Heard he was going there, eh?"
"No, I didn't know he was In Hono
lulu, but I knew be was 'way off even
when he wus here." Philadelphia Rec
ord. They Improve with Age,
When a young man bas a hole In his
glove all the girls in town are very
solicitous, which makes their fathers.
who have unmended holes in their
clothes, marvel.
No difference how short a woman s
skirts are. she will hold them up In go
ing over a crossing. i
FACTORY BEGINS DAILY TOIL
WITH RELIGIOUS SERVICE.
L. H. Creager, who operates a stave .rpy-
ana neaaing taciury iu imuiu6i,
Ind., employed the Rev. Mr. Gorby, paste-
of the Presbyterian Church, to de
liver fifteen-minute sermons to the fac
tory hands every morning. The idea
proved such a success and had such a
wonderful Influence upon the workmen
that Mr. Creager placed the choir of the
First Baptist Church upon the pay roll.
The choir now assists the Rev. Mr.
Gorby in the daily religious services at
the factory. Before the fifty workmen
about the place begin the day's toil
they assemble In the factory for a short
religious service. This novel idea orig
inated with L. II. Creager. The Rev.
Mr. Gorby, who Is a local Presbyterian
miulster, says that the plan has been a
biir success, and he'expects to see it kovkl factokt ishovatios.
spread to other factories and to other the factory payroll with that of the
citlea. Mr. Gorby's name appears on other men.
came evident before they had played
very many minutes that neitner ci
them wanted the boy, and that which
ever got him would lose no time In
shooting him.
While the game was still In progress,
amid much cursing as luck seemed to
vibrate from one side to another and
then back, a tan, typical .Mexican
strode Into the recess and looked on.
He seemed oblivious to tbe presence of
the two captives, but very much Inter
ested in the game. But, seeing no
stakes, which lu Mexico are always
kept In sight be inquired what the
game was for.
When the two players had replied tne
tall Mexican with the mustache strode
over to where the two captives were
crouched, and asked them who they
were. The very instant young Poyer
lma had made known his Identity he
remarked:
"I am Cortina!'
His name was sufficient. Young Poy
erlma practically felt his doom sealed.
But Cortina continued:
I know your father well. We were
muleteers together in the old days be
fore he grew rich, and he knows me.
He knows mv word is perfectly good.
and you need have no fear if you will
follow my directions. Come with me!
He toot fho vnnne man aside and
then told him his plans. They were
simple and brief.
In short, Cortina remarked that he
was anxious to abandon his career as a
brigand, but must have money enough
to live as a gentleman should. He then
told young Poyerima to go to h:s ratner
and tell him that be could ransom the
girl on paying her weight in gold
,'whicb," continued Cortina, "is cheap,
as she is not very heavy."
small. One removed to Massachusetts,
the other to Michigan, and never were
two states more highly honored. When
these men met in the United States
senate they were the cynosure of all
eyes, for they were as imposing as
Mount Washington, under whose
shadow they were reared. Wonderful
eyes they possessed, and men have been
known to shiver with dread when one
or the other allowed his glance to fall
upon them. Cass could look through a
stranger In a way to make his brain
burn and his knees knock together. One
searching stare seemed to destroy all
mentality and fill the victim with par
alvtic emotions.
The other day I saw a man slap Sena
tor Hanna on the back, cry
senator!" and receive a pleasant salute
In reply. No man dared take liberties
with Cass. In 1840 the proprietor of the
National hotel In Washington was a
man who so closely resembled the great
senator from Michigan that he was
often mistaken for him. An old friend,
returning from a Journey, entered the
lobby, and, seeing him leaning against
the desk, slipped up behind and bit
him a terrific whack on the shoulder,
saying ' cheerily and simultaneously.
"Hello, old man; here I am, back again!
How are you?" Senator Cass straight
ened up his six feet three, and, turning
upon the assailant, his terrible blood
shotten eyes almost annihilated him
with a look. Not a word was spoken.
That look was ample. The stranger
was so "rattled" that he could not even
apologize, but slunk dejectedly out of
the hotel.
Later In the day, when congress was
supposed to be in session, the stranger
returned to the hotel to shake hands
with the proprlefor and tell him all
about the Cass Incident. Walking
bravely up he laid his hand down on
his friend's shoulder, and without wait
ing for a greeting, surprised him witb:
"See here, old fellow, you got me In a
deuce of a scrape this morning. Why you
know I took old Cass for you; slapped
him on the back, nearly taking off. a
shoulder, aud the old fool looked at me
as if he wanted to commit murder. The
darned old lunatic why doesn't he stay
out of here? He knows- " Again the
great senator from Michigan straight
ened up his six feet three, again he
turned his blood-shotten eyes, again he
looked and again the victim fled. Two
mistakes of that kind in one day. New
York Press.
There is great sympathy for an Atchi
son woman. It Is figured that by the
time her period of mourning is over,
and she can entertain, all her doylies
will be out of style. ' ;
Belle-I have a violin that I played
on when I was a little girl.
Nell Gracious! It must be a fine
one.
A Marrie I Man.
Jaspar Why do you consider Bond
rocks so especially lucky?
.Tummmne Why. all his friends had
Hello, e()ne jj.jj on Um oef0re he had suc
ceeded, and he was able to begin life
with a clean slate. Life.
Trapped.
"Females seem to be the same the
world over," remarked Bruin, gluncing
up from tbe fragment of paper he had
been reading. "Here's au account of
a woman being badly crushed at a
spring opening."
"Yes?" replied the fox, languidly.
"Yes. A spring opening was the
death of my first wife. She put her
foot In It, and It closed on her." Phila
delphia Press.
Made to Keel at Home.
"Didn't you feel yourself a stranger
In your literary club after being absent
so long, Mrs. Jinks?"
"No, one of the other members snub
bed me the minute I opened my
mouth." Chicago Record.
1. 1 Pompndour.
"What's tbe matter with your hair?"
asked Cawker of his wife, when she
appeared at the breakfast table.
"What seems to be the matter?"
"It has an unshoveled appearance."
1 ot of Time.
Jack Newlywed Time you were get
ting married, old man.
Billy Bachelor O, I don't know; the
century Is young yet. Ohio State Journal.
The Height of Insennlty.
Jaggles What do you think is the
most wonderful machine ever Invented?
Waggles The one that puts the folds
In time-tables. Judy.
Well-Merited.
"I understand Miss Goode took piano
lessons at the conservatory."
"Oh, ves. She's got a gold medal."
"Yet, I was paying a visit at her
house last night and she positively re
fused to play; said she had decided to
give it up."
"Yes, that's what she got the gold
medal for. The neighbors gave It to
her." Philadelphia Press.
( harlty deeded.
Kind Lady You say you have such
a hard time supporting your three
daughters. What do they do?
Haflh Brown Two Is bavin' der
voices cultivated and de odder Is In
Europe studyln' art
Not Alex's Karth.
Alex Smart Tbe earth Is merely a
speck In the universe.
Prof. Squelcher While your state
ment Is true, young man, that does not
Justify your apparent theory that you
own It Ohio State Journal.
An Artistic Distinction.
Mr. Sappelgh Mr. Woozen seems
badly smitten ou that young lady pian
ist "Music hath charms," you know.
Miss Gebbelgh Yes, and In this case
It must be the music which hath the
charms." Baltimore American.
A Reformer Rebuked.
German Child I don't believe In em
perors, mamma.
German Mother (shocked) Oh, you
little lnfldel!-Puck.
Ligh .
"You used to say," she bitterly com
plained, "that I was tbe light of your
existence."
'I know it," he replied with almost
brutal frankness, "but that was before
I had to pay for the gas you consume
by sitting up till midnight reading fool
lova stories." Chicago Times Herald.
The "Jolly-Er."
I'm alius kind o' glad to see the "jolly-er"
come along;
The feller that kin tell a joke or mebbe
sing a song;
The man that puts up lightnin' rods you
really didn't need
Or sells you ground that Isn't wuth the
paper in the deed.
He has a way o' sbakiu' hands an' sayin'
"How-dy do!"
That jes' convinces you he thinks the
world an' all o' you.
He doesn' keer fur money; he Is sech a
generous elf!
An' purty soon he has you feelin' jes'
that way yourself!
But I don't bear him any grudge; I jes'
take off my hat.
He's made this 61' world brighter, an I'm
'bliged to him fur that.
I listen to his stories (an' at some I'm
laughing yit).
An' try to git off jes' as cheap as reason
will permit.
Fur it's wuth a little somethia' to have
soma one comin' out
! To make you feel that you're the real
tiling without a doubt;
A regular steppin', thoroughbred much
swifter than the throng
You feef that you're right iu it when U(.
jolly-er comes along.
Washington Star,
o