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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 15, 1901)
The Truth About Tobias. r T took Hanora quite a time to find II out the truth about Tobias. Not that Tobtat could ordinarily be OHi" ldered a mysterious Individual. In deed, he was precisely the reverse. From the cool dawn hour lu which he arose to go forth and drive the team for Twist & Taffeta, of which tiriu he wa trusted collector, until lilt return at 6;30 to tha modest flat where bis Bis ter and supper awaited him, his life was a cleun and commonplace page, spread wide for every casual or Inter ested glance. Ills nights, If less ex posed to the arc lights of public scru tiny, might as well have been so. For, after eating heartily of the food Hauora had prepared and referring to the same In admiring terms, he was wont to re move his shoes as unnecessary Impedi menta, place his feet In their well darned hose upon the chair "beyaut" light his pipe, drink the solitary bottle of beer Illinois permitted lilm, and read the mighty accumulation of both morn ing and evening papers until the auto cratic spinster who ruled his abode sug gested "a decade," and turned the lamp low by way of a gentle but quite suffi cient hint. Tobias was 40 plus five. He had a brickdust skin, pale brows, a pugna cious nose, end a smile of such sudden, suffusing, apologetic radiance It ex plained his love for his fellow-men In general and for Hanora In particular. Indeed, his was the only love that had ever come Hanora's way. She had never lteen guilty of that form of high way robbery known as coquetry. Not that she wa unsophisticated. She knew that a woman quick of perception and adroit of finger may appropriate the purse of one who walks her way and suffer Incarceration. And she knew also that one who possesses her self of an unappropriated masculine heart not only goes free In the sight of AM Ol.ll MAID MStt.lt 1-lViNu W1TII HIM. the law, but glories If she will In her guile and In the magnitude of her deed. Whether the bonds of lnoppjrtumty had shackled Hanora Hyan or whether she had preferred maiden triumph to the exultation of matronhood deponent suy eth not. Anyhow, to get back to the truth about Tobias. On one memorable midsummer eve he devoured lemon pie without protest. Hanora knew he loathed lemon pie. On the followlug morning he meekly ate the French toast she set before him, Instead of his regulation potato and rasher. This was her second test. For Tobias had frank ly declared only two weeks ago that he would es.t no more French, or Flem ish, or no, begorrah Boer toast, that was made of stalo bread dipped In egg and fried! So there! She began to feel suspicious. He was a good brother, but alarmingly docile when presented with viands for which he possessed an aversion. She was like the parrot which Its owner declared "said little but done a devil of a heap of thlukin'l" She thought a good deal In ' those days. When Tobias suggested bringing a friend home with him to dinner she thought more than ever, albeit she pos sibly said less. "To be brlngln' a man here for a male!" quoth she. "What kind of a man might he be now, Tobias?" "Sthraight as they make 'em!" promptly responded Tobias. "He drives the 'rush' bus. lie's a good wan. He'd relish one of your raspberry rolls that he would, Hanora!" Whereat Hauora blushed In a wintry sunset sort of way and said be might bring his friend. He did bring his friend. And to tell the truth Hauora looked exceedingly well. She had given her old black silk skirt a "dip," whatever that mysterious phraseology may mean. And she wore w.th this a shirt waist of softest lawn, which she had bought at quite an ab surd figure because it was one of the smaller sizes. This she had duly and delicately laundered. Not that "The household art was the only dower She would bring for a gift to him she wed." But the household art shone up In re splendence on that particular night Never, thought treacherous Tobias, with a glow at his heart, bad any man such a sister, and If It were not for the here he broke off in an agony of de ception which made hlra temporarily oblivious of the merits of the raspberry roll. "You ain't eat a bite!" avowed Hano ra. Tobias made a sweeping gesture across his Adam's apple. "Clear to here!" he declared with delicious men dacity. Al ter supper they went Into the par lor. Hanora played on the organ yes, and sang. too. In a sweet thin little voice. She sang "The Meeting of the Waters" and "The Kerry Dancing" and the "Wearing of the Green." No rag time for Hauora. "She'a a Jewel!" commented Dennis Mngnlre, addressing Tobias Ryan, when they parted dn the sidewalk. "Ain't ain't" timidly, "there any wan a-coortln'!" "Nlvlr a wan !'i returned Tobias. He felt so guilty upon his return he could hardly make the proper response to the "decade" which Hanora was "elvlof out." He did not come home until 10 o'clock the following night- Ha. uiu nor yet the nvxt.o He explained his ab sences by mysterious allusion to "cau cuses" aud "primaries," thereby sooth ing Hanoinflu'd stultifying his con science. It was not until lLmcra found a rose in the buttonhole of his coat oue morning aud a little Un.e trimmed hand kerchief lu his pocket that her diret doubts were aroused. But even these Tobias explained away. "Sure the Bower cost nothiu", Hanora. 'Twtis from a bush I was pusslu'. And the handkerchief was on the sidewalk. 1 thought belike you could make use of It."" He was rapidly becoming a beautiful j liar. , j A week later he refuwed to go out with Hauora and Deuuls on account of the night being damp. He had rheu matism, he said. So hU sister aud his friend went to the theater and Tobias settled hlmxelf to the composition of a long and fervent letter, the accomplish ment of which necessitated frequent reference to the pocket dictionary he hud bought for this purpose. To make a long story short and It was not such a long Rtory when all was sald-IIano-ra married Dennis Magulre. Tobias was desolate disconsolate. He might go to live with them. Deunls had won a treasure. Yes, he might go to live with them after a while. For the pres ent he would take his meals at a res taurant uutll sure what could be done with the furniture aud so on. All through her wedding journey, which lasted full three weeks, it trou bled Mrs. Magulre to determine what was the matter with Tobias. She told her new made lord all about his even ing alienees, his mild acceptance of distasteful viands, his abrupt aud eager hospitality toward Dennis even about the roo and handkerchief. It was not until she had returned to Chicago and went out to the flat where had been passed her years of mature maiden hood that she really discovered the truth about Tobias. For the fiat Into which she let her self with her latch key was altered, decorated, Illumined. There were cur tains of rosy swlbsollne at the win dows. There were a lot of flowers on the table. A canary sang In a glided cage, and what waa that? A parasol In the cornera hat on the sewing ma chine! Such a frivolous hat all chif fon and daisies! Hanora turned quite faint. Could Tobias "Oh," cried a radiant little creature fluttering out of one of the Pullman car apartments which serve as bed rooms In the modern flat, "I did not know any one was here. Take this chair. You are Mrs. Larch, I know. Tobias said the wife of hjs friends in the shipping department would call. We are not really fully settled yet. Out wedding was quite a surprise to out friends, but really we had been con sidering it for some time. I was in the ribbons, you know, and became ac quainted with Mr. Ryan while at the Rtore. But It seems he had an old maid sister living with him, and having a girl's natural distaste for relatlons-in-law though doubtless some of them are klud enough, I suggested to Tobias that It would be better to marry her off If possible before why what " For Mrs. Dennis Magulre had risen In aghast and stately discomposure. "I am bis sister," she said. "Dear, O, dear! I'm so sorry! I didn't know nor suspect I wish I had kept still! Take off your things! Stay to supper! There there! Y'ou're sweet as you can be and I'll love you if you let me Indeed, I will." Americans in Knee-Breeches Hon. John W. Foster, former Secre tary of State and oue of the most wide ly experienced of American diplomats, tells In the Saturday Evening Post In teresting and amusing Instances of American diplomats ami court cos tumes. The ladles will be Interested In knowing that in diplomacy extreme consideration Is given to the klud of clothes which the representatives wear. In the course of the article Mr. Foster says: "Some ministers have made them selves ridiculous by securing an ap pointment In the State militia aud mak ing use of that uniform. A story Is told of one of our representatives at a European court who appeared at the palace In the garb of a captain of a cavalry troop, a post he had tilled at home, which led the monarchical diplo mats, attracted by bis metal helmet, quizzically to ask If he belonged to a fire company In America! The Instruc tions of the Department of State now in force construe the law to allow of such a departure from a simple dress aa will secure our diplomats welcome admittance at court ceremonies. "For instance, the members of the United States embassy in London ap pear on state occasions In knee breech es, with metal buckles on their shoes, and In other respects In ordinary even ing dress." Really Too Bad. The fair young society lady was In an agitated frame of mind when she re turned from a shopping expedition the other day. x "Why, Dorothy, what In the world Is the matter?" asked her Indulgent bus band, who read distress in her pretty face. "Oh, dear," she said, her voice trem bling with emotion. "I've lost the re ceipt for my new hat" "Well," the husband replied, "It la very easy to go back to the store and get another receipt. I don't see whj you should let a little matter like that worry you." "It Isn't that," wa3 the sobbing re ply, "but I'm afraid that some one we know will find that receipt and learn how much I paid for It" Detroit Free Press. Proflta of a Convict Mine. The Tennessee convict coal mine is a paying institution. The profits In the last six months will amount to more than $100,000. Men do not agree on what Is the "unpardonable sin," but among wom en It is an unpardonable sin for on woman to recommend a dressmaker who ruins garment SHE RESENTS "RULES." tVlfa m? Her Hu.baud PlaaUra the Houte with Ordara. George S. Edgar, of Allegheny, Pa., received a fortune of $200,000 from hla father'! estate several years ago. Re cently bis wife appealed to the courts to have the muiiey placed lu her car for the support of herself and family, alleging her husband was an habitual drunkard, posted notices throughout the house for her guidance, kept wealthy frleuds from visiting her, and she had to extract money from him to live on while he wasjn drunken stu pors, suys the Syracuse Herald. Part of the rules posted by Edgar were read In court, as follows: "I am to be boss of the house. I am to be master and head of the house, and must be respected. 1 am to handle all moneys. No servants shall be em ployed without consulting me. No ser vants shall be dismissed without con sulting me. My wife shall not speak to servants unless It Is extremely nec essary. My wife shall not dismiss help without my consent, uuless It Is under extreme provocation; then she cau dis miss them during my absence or with out, uiy consent. All purchases, such as vegetables, groceries, clothing for wife and chlldreu, to be bought with my personal consent or by wrltteu or der. My children shall be taught to respect me. In correcting my children no pick handles, rolling plus or sad irons shall be used. No presents shall be given to anyone uor old clothing dis posed of without my consent. Nothing whatever shall be bought without con sulting me. "All parties whose names appear on card In ball rack shall be excluded from my house, and other parties that I mention hereafter, namely: Dr. C. J. Knaur, for having me come to R. B. Scandrett's office, an old schoolmate of mine, thereby humiliating me; Mrs. C. J. Knaur, for going to Joe Walts, friend of mine, and Walter Shlep aud saying I was drunk all the time; Mrs. Mary Bollenberg.'for having me arrest ed for calling her a brazen hussy; Fred Bollenberg for writing me a challenge to fight a duel; Mrs. Maggie Hopkins, for saying I lived In Millionaires' row, which I consider is between Ridge aud Western on Irwin avenue, while I live at 1500 Chartlers street, so I cannot live In Millionaires' row, and that my wife was not living with me because I was always drunk." Beautiful and Suitable. "Show me a man's pictures and I'll bIiow you his character," a well-known statesman once said. He referred, per haps,' more particularly to collectors; but the same remark applies, though In a lesser degree, to the average house holder of the present day. A few very few good engravings, with a nice water color drawing or two, tell a tale of refinement especially if they are well hung. For, take a picture, In from the left, and hang It where the light from the nearest window Is thrown on It from the right, and the beauty of the work cannot possibly be appreciated. Pay some attention, too, to the height at which the artist's light has come di rectly your pictures are suspended. Some are seen at their best when on a level with the eye, while other: require some altitude to show them to advant age. When, however, a picture Is "hung high," the angle at which It Is placed from the wall should be carefully stud led and regulated by the distance from the top of the frame at which the two screw rings for Its wire are fastened. Tastes In frames vary, and uo hard-and-fast line can be laid down. The hideous old "massive" gilt frames, with their detestable carving and moulding, are a thing of the past. They always seemed to be rivaling the picture Itself In attracting notice. Prints and en gravlug show best, I think, In Oxford frames of oak, light or dark, according to fancy, but always unvarnished. If of light wood, small ebony pins at the corners, sides and top and bottom cross, are an Improvement. Frames of ebonlzt'd- wood harmonize with pho tographs. For water-colors I like a plain "bead" frame of dull oil gilt; but the "mount" must be large, ami the drawing sunk a little If it Is to show to advantage. Finally, have too few rather than too tauy pictures on your walls. His Keply. The following Incident Is related by a correspondent of the Cleveland Plain Dealer in the South. It is told of Dr. James II. Carlisle, the venerable Pres ident of Wofford College, South Caro lina, aud counselor of the great Chau tauqua system. When 10 years old young Carlisle was attending a typical country school of the old South under the manage ment of a typical teacher of the time, a stern and scholarly old gentleman. One day little James found consider able difficulty In some of his work, and his teacher, becoming impatient, took the boy's slate and, writing upon It the words, "I am a fool," gave it to the lit tle fellow, saying, "Here, James, sign your name to that" The learned pedagogue proceeded with the other lessons, but on coining back to his young charge after a time noticed that the name had not been written. Becoming angry, he demand ed In thundering tones: 'James Carlisle, why did you not sign your name to that, sir?" And little James Carlisle slipped from his place on the high, rough old bench, aud, looking his teacher squarely In the eye, replied: "Because It is a lie, sir!" How Coreans Pray. A returned sojourner In Corea tells that he asaed a native priest: "Tell m why you people kneel down before a stone, or piece of wood, or any Inani mate object, and pray to It? Why tiot pray to God, as Christians do?" "1 will explain," said the devout idolater. "Christians close their eyes and look up without seeing anything as they pray. The Coreans do not pray to the piece of stone or wood, as you imagine, but to the same good God, and select the Inanimate object merely as an em blem. Instead of seeing nothing, they gaze upon God's handiwork, for God made the stone." - About the worst thing you can say about a man Is that he Is "smart" and a "great reader." The trouble is, he will do nothing but be smart and read. Be sure yon are right-then pause a moment for reflection. OUR BUDGET OF FUN. : HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Joke and Jokalett that AraSnppoaed i to Have Baca Kecently Born-Kajringa i and Doing that Ara Old, Curious and ! Laughaltla-Tbe "VVeek'a Humor. I "I have known a man on a modest salary," said the Crafty Citizen, "to : scrimp along for a month to save ?j0 'and then blow $10 of It on a hunting I dog when he doesu't get to go shooting ' once a year." "Sometimes the wife of this same ! scrimpy man," observed the Inveterate j Thinker, "takes the mouey aud puts I $-lo of It lu a love of a tailor-made gown, when she never goes any farther I than two squares to see her cousin's j wife. If there were not real foolish ! people on earth you and I would get no I credit for wisdom." Denver News. .Appeircil t He True. Wigwam A New York doctor comes out with an article In which he claims that Amerlcau women are declining. It's stuff and nonsense. Sappehoddo I don't know about that. Three of them have declined me recently Philadelphia Record. Ille On y Trouble. Does your wooden leg ever give you trouble?" "Only once. Wife struck me with It." Proud of It. The Haughty One You ought to be proud to have me recognize you. The Common Person I am. It shows 1 huve money, Indianapolis Press. Bisn Brlggs Monkerly Is losing his Inter cut In golf. Griggs What makes you think so? Brlggs I saw him at his office yes terday. Harper's Bazar. Not Ilia father' Sllllcus Henpeckke says his young ster Is going to grow up to be a lighter. Cynlcus Inherits his mother's In stincts, I suppose. Philadelphia Rec ord. Must Keep Hiiiht Hp. Flatte Is your boarding house up to date? Rooms You bet. A fellow can't be behind a single week. Plow About Goinr. "It has always been my rule," said Mr. Borem, "to spend as I go." "Indeed." exclaimed Miss Sharpe, glancing significantly at the clock, "lu that way I suppose you have saved con siderable money." Philadelphia Press. A Necessary Lemon. "Isn't It kind of these people, ma," remarked the young lish, "to drop us lines with food on 'em?" "Don't you believe it," replied the mother fish. "You must learn to read between the lines." Philadelphia Press. Didn't Show Ilia Nose. Lady Didn't I tell you not to show your nose around here again? Peddler Veil, did I nod gomply mit your request? Always )n Practice, Mrs. Wunder We never hear of woman train robbers. Mr. Wunder And yet the ladles are always holding up trains. Baltimore American. The Sidewalk Drama. "Strutter has gone on the stage." "This time o' year?" "Yes; he's playing with an Uncle Tom's Cabin Company In that depart ment store window." Indianapolis Journal. He Explain. Mamma Why do you call him "Jonesy ?" Johnny Well, you see, his name Is Jones, but we call him "Jonesy" for short Puck. Tha Beat He Cou'd Do. "Give me a penny, oh, sir," said the mendicant, "and you will give me joy." "While I cannot give you joy," fcaid the millionaire, "I may perhaps glye you merriment, for I will give you the laugh." Indianapolis Tress. Peraonal Item From the Flunkvllle Bugle: "Colonel Erastus Jarvey was In town between trains Tuesday and made us a call. Perry Patettlc came In between cars and struck us for a handout" Indian apolis Presa. One Way of Looking at It. "It la said that the Czar of Russia dislikes more than anything else to speak In public." "That's a nice tribute to his wife." "How 'so?" "He probably gts a chance to say all ha wants to at home." Chicago Times-Herald. rffOi B 1 f VTS A ftnaseallon. Mrs. Houbckeep Sue here, I've beu gcttlug a dozen egg from you every week aud 111 every dozen lataly I've found at least two bad one. What's to be done ubout it? Bright Clerk Suppoe you only take half a dozen hereafter. Maybe you wouldn't find so many bad ones then. Philadelphia Press. A Breach of r t quette. He I notice you dou't speak to the Uptowns any more. What have they done? She-Done? Vulgar things! Lost all their money. Philadelphia Bulletin. Don't l.t-nKtlirn. "What do you think of the Idea of broadening the present course of school studies?" "I dou't care how broad they make 'em," answered Tommy, "go's they don't lengthen 'eni."-Indlainipol!i Press. Practice Mukci Perfect. Angela (to whom Edgar has been proiK)slng)-Tell me, Edgar, did you ever say anything like this to any woman before? Edgar (In a burst of honesty) My dear girl, do you think that It could be done like that the first tlme?-llar-per's Bazar. ReitiilHr Way. Young Mother (to butcher) I have brought my little baby, Mr. Bullwiin kle. Will you kindly weigh him? Butcher Yes, ma'am; bouea an" all, I s'pose?-Tit-Blts. Quite the ontrary. KIndllmau What's the matter, my little man? You seem to be in great pain. Little Boy (groaning dismally) No, I ain't, but (ley seems ter lie a great pain lu me. Philadelphia Press. Memory. When, having become rich beyond the dreams of avarice, he came back to claim his bride, he found Elise awaiting him. "Then you renieinlier mo V" he cried folding her In his strong embrace. "Remember you, Harold? Why, I rememlier your middle initial, even!" Devotion, this! Detroit Journal. The Great Obstacle. "Each of us," said the moralist, "could do something to make the world better." "Yes," said his friend, with a sigh; "only our personal affairs do seem to keep us hustling!" Puck. Fenmitive Nature Wounded. "1 was greatly mortified at Sylvia's wedding dinner." "What about?" "It was a pink affair, and she had pickled beets on the table." Chicago Record. Present Company Not Excepted, "Ya-as; It's so twylng; some people are born freaks." "And others have freaks thrust upon them." Here' lire SI mi. "I must be getting old." "What makes you think so?" "Younger men have begun compli menting me on being spry." Chicago Record. Pointing the War (int. "What do you think Miss Popkina did when I staid late last night?" "What?" "She got up and hung an 'Exit' pla card ou the parlor door." Puck. Up with Her Ctua-i. "My wife 'earned French In live weeks." "Does she speak correctly?" "Well, Prof. De Verges says her French Is as good as any spoken lu our neighborhood." Indianapolis Journal. Lotc an Appetite. "But Delia, we should not let your father's prejudice stand in the way of our maniuge. What Is mouey to. true love?" "I kuow, Alfred, that mouey Is not all, but hunger Is something. Last night you walked past three restau rants on the way from the theater and never said oysters once. But papa had something for me to eat when I got home." Den ver. News. Plenty of Others. Blobbs He doesn't know enough to come In out of the rain. Slobbs That's nothing. Several thousand years ago there was only one man In all the world that did. Ills name was Noah. Philadelphia Record. Contingent. Dobson If you marry my- daughter how long will it be before you call on me for aid? Hobsou That depends on how long it Is before she strikes me for cash. Den ver News. In the Wrong Pew. In a Watertown, S. I)., theater recent ly a man who had a seat between his wife and daughter left at the termina tion of an act for a trip down-stairs. When he returned he found a vacant seat between two women, aud dropped Into It with the remark, "As I was suy lug when I went out, It's none of your business what other people wear. Be cause some oue else makes a fool of herself by wearing cotton stockings in winter it doesu't follow that you must do the same." "Sir!" came from both sides at once; and the way he vacated thjit seat made the soles of his boots red-hot H was In the wrong pew. Northwest Maga zine. Encouragement for the Struggling. "Well," asked the artist rubbing his hands, "what did your wife think of your portrait when you got home?" "Oh," said old Mr. Packinham, hand lug out a check for the amount he had agreed to pay, "she told me she still bad confidence in me and didn't be lieve I was half aa bad as 1 was painted." ST. VALENTINE'S WISDOM. Cupid tat our to St. Valentin. lie in nortlng out bli darta, Repairing bit luw and bit quiver, Aaii tor lug with brulua bunria. Said be to tbe taint, with weary a.gU, Tui tired of this frultleaa hunt, r'roui urdlJ, Irutbery bvarti tu-daj VI arrawt full dull and blunt. "Time when a dart of elder pith Would ileree to tbe very uor A ooiniuuu beart, aud tbe tougber ouet It would wake exceeding ure. "Now oanglit but an arrow tipped wllh gold Will rvaeb to a vital part, Aud no su i ll tblug caa bp (mind to day As a flauilug, burning beart." Said tbe aged aalnt, "ou quit txprraa The tblng Ibat I meant to any, Ami we've got to one modern nietbodt, If we'd make tin buxluea pa. "The turtle dove It hl quite gi.ne by, And welded beam are pae, But an battered old corouet Ua a clu'-b to win the da. "And the rery awellext new dealga Kor stealing lorem" letter, You would bardly guest! "lla the dollar algn And a pa'r of goldeu fetters. "Then take advice, If the game you'd bag, Cue only a golden dun, And draw a bead uu the achemlng head Kon't aim at Hip ahrunki'ii heart." AuiruM'ia I. Iliim holt. Id frank l.etlle'a I'optilat Monthly. ABOUT ST. VALENTINE. St. Yiilentinns, whose head was rolled into a basket one bright morning in the year of our Lord, 270, lelit his name to the day which is now consecrated to youth hiiiI love, but ft is pretty generally conceded by wise men that it is aa ana chronism to connect him with the origin of the festival. ludeed traces of the celeliratiou have been round among the traditions which come down from the pagans of ancient Europe, and in several directions may be detected evidences that it was not a custom founded in Rome, but rather Inherited there. Ill the long hco there was a custom among the youth In Rome to draw from In golden box a slip of paper on which was written (lie uame or a girl, this was done in the iinnie of Pan and Juno, ind was called the Lupcrcalia. Later the priests substituted the names of mints For those of young women, and the 11th of February was fixed upon for the feast of Lupcrcalia. Out of this grew the eus- ABRAHAM LINCOLN AVD SCENES OF HIS EARLY LIFE. ffp i 1 fik Sill' I turns which are now observed on St. Val entine's day. There la one thing these wise bookt do not tell us, however, and that Is where and when the comic valentine originated. If you will take from its shelf any one of the standard works of this description vou will also discover that it maintains I discreet, yet significant, silence iipou ihe causes which led up to the decapita tion of old St. Valentiutts that smiling morning In the long ago. It simply tells vou that he was executed in the miilst of he Ciiiudian persecutions, but never for t moment should it be forgotten that even persecutors must have a cause. There has long been a private suspicion that old St. Valeutinus was himself the originator of the comic valentine, and that he expiated his crime lu about the proper manner. It does not require any undue stress upon the imagination to see him forwarding to the Emperor Clau dius, a picture of a knock-kneed, whopper-jawed pirate who is surmounted with a tinsel crown and whose nose is painted with the tints of conflagration, while be neath it all stood a bit of verse which more than intimated that Claudy, old boy, didn't know enough about the emperor business to hurt. And what would be more natural than for Claudy to call for his warders, ho! and cut off Mr. Valen tine's head? The writers tell its' that the romantic features of St. Valentine's day are being revived, particularly iu England. We are glad of this, because we have always felt that one day at least should be set apart in honor of that single passion which dwells with man and beast alike. Love is just as much entitled to a festival as labor. To the latter we have given a legal holiday, and the day is coming when old St. Valentine will find himself rec ognized in the statutes made and provid ed as well as through the pictorial rnsh which breaks out upon humanity once in every year. A CLEVER LINCOLN STORV. Travel All the War from Berlin for This Year's Celebration. Here is a new Lincoln story that has never been published. It was told to a Chicago man a few weeks ago by a gen tleman living in Berlin, Germany: Two hero worshipers had long desired to meet Abraham Lincoln, but when the coveted privilege was finally granted they were unspeakably disappointed in the personality of the rail-splitting President. They gazed at him in silence and then one of them exclaimed in a dissatisfied voice: "Why, Lincoln is just a common look ing man like us!" The great emancipator turned to the speaker and said genially: "Yes, my friend, but I have the conso lation of knowing that God loves com mon looking men!" "How do you make thutiitut?" queried the other interestedly. "Oh. because he made to many of them!" Kor a Valentine Party. A "Valentine cake" may be introduced with good effect at a Yaitntine party. This can be gotten up in two ways; the first, a nicely b ed cake, decorated with candy hearts having sentimental mottoes on them. Let the cake be Gtlivbled into the requisje umiihcr of slices. In the slices the young girls draw or make a small slit with the sharp blade of a knife. and insert into the opening a allu of card lsard on which is written the name of ome young man who is present. First a young lady chooses a slice of cake, then he gentleman selects one. In those slices ihe latter draw are such small articles as leuote the sort of wife Fate has choaen to be each young mau't partner for life. Thim, stiver eola algulflVi wealth, scrap or ailk a fashionable wife, a penny poverty, a tiuy apooo a good houaakeep r, a peu a literary woman, a auial! silver heart a marrlaga for love, amall brukb. an artistic wife, a tlay mirror a Tain woman, a piece of crape widow, etc. Woman' Home Companion. HOW LINCOLN WON HIS WIFE. i-he Married Him Hecauae He Waa tha I'clleat Man Hie I ter Saw. Mr. Lincoln used to take great delight lu telling how hu gained a knife by hit ugly looks. That story has been pub lished, hut I have not seen another la print, telling how he gulned hi wife, anys a well-known writer. Mr. Llncolu waa a beautiful lady, attractive, sharp, witty aud relished a joke even at her ow expense. She waa Htnyitu with her sit ter, Mrs. lMwsrda. She had uot been there long before everybody knew Mist Mary Todd. She ofteu said: "Wheti a girl I thought I would not marry uutll 1 could get one of the handsomest men lu the couutry. but since I became a woman I lenrncd I cau't get audi men, which hat caused nie to change my mind. 1 hava couciiuled to marry the Ui,iiest-looklug man I enn find." Later on Lincoln come to tvn. She had never seen hi in before she met him on the street. She was told who he was ami weut home ami told her lister aha hud accii her man, "the ugliest man I ever saw Abraham Lincoln and I am going to set my cap for him." That be came a common saying lu street gossip. When they were married, instead of tak ing a bridal trip, they went to a hotel and took board at $1 a week. When he got able he bought a lot for fl'iK), mid Imilt a four-roomed hoiiaa costing less than $l,(XK. When he re ceived $.".(NMJ from his great railroad enso he spent $l.nm of it in putting a second story on his house, and there be lived un til he went to Washington. I, ncoln'a I ogic. It it aaid that Lincoln's acuteness in analysis aud logical powers were trace able to hia complete mastery of Kuclid's propositions. Certainly whenever he at tempted to prove or disprove a thing he did it. A story told by L'nited State Judge C. tt. Poster, and printed in the Syracuse Standard, illustrates his log ical faculty. In the winter before Lincoln was nomi nated for President he visited Kansas, and made speeches at Troy and Atchison. At the hotel in Atchison where he stayed, Gen. Stringfeilow, John A. Martin and Judge Foster called upon him. In the course of the conversation Mr. Lincoln turned to ien. Stringfellow, who play ed a prominent part iu the effort to bring Kansas into the I'uion as a slave State. "Gen. Stringfellow," he said, "you pro alavery fellows gave as one reuson why slavery should not be prohibited in Kan sas that only the negro could break up the tough prairie sod. Now, I've broken hundreds of acres of prairie sod in my time, and the only, question which re mains to be decided is whether I am a white man or a negro." Gen. Stringfellow laughingly admitted the force of the quaint argument, and congratulated Mr. Lincoln upon his point ed, logical way of putting things. LINCOLN AS A LAWYER. How the Immortal "Abe" Won Hla Karljr Biuceise at the i'ar. A suit was brought In the United States Court in Springfield against a citi sten for an infringement of a patent right Mr. Lincoln went to the most skilled ar chitect la the city, inquired how he spent his winter evenings, ami received the re ply: "If times are brisk I sometimes work; otherwise I have no special busi ness." Mr. Lincoln said: "I have a pat ent right case in court; I want you as a partner, and will divide fees. I know nothing about mechanics never made It it a study. 1 want yon to make a list of the best works on mechanism, as I don't suppose they can be purchased here. I will furuish the money, and you can send to Chicago or New York for them. I want you to come to my house one night each week aod give me instructions." In a short time he had witnesses to meet him, and they were thoroughly drilled. When the trial commenced, Mr. Lincoln pnt his questions at the cross-examination so scientifically that many witnesses were bothered to rejily. When his wit nesses were put on the stand, so skillful were his questions that the court, the jury and the bar wondered how "Abe" Lincoln knew so much about mechanism. His witnesses could reply promptly. He gained the suit and a reputation such that Mr. Lincoln was sustained lu every patent right case brought into that court up to the time he went to Washington. He went to Chicago, St. Louis, Iowa, Ohio, Kentucky and Michigan to try pat ent right cases, and the last yenr of his practice did little else. Thomas Lewis' "Recollections of Lincoln," in Leslie's Weekly. 0 A Valentine. The nortb wind la a-cold, Sobbing behind tbe bill; The world seems white and old. For the winter bath Its will; And there Is no thruxh In tbe hazel brush To flute with a silver trill. The pnle dawns come and go, And the chill auroras flare; While the spirit of the anow Move wrulthllke through tbe ale. And we know that death of tbe Icy brealk Is about ua everywhere. And yet, and yet, and jet. Why abould we grieve or pine? Or house gloom-eyed Regret, Your hand, dear heart. In mine? We're all tbe vernal mirth of tbe earth With Love for Valentine! i-j-vmnoD acuuaru, id coiuer t w eekly. Aa Odd a Woman. One of the oddest bequests on record is that of the late George Russell the well-known sculptor, of Aberdeen. He left $75,000 for the benefit of scaven ger and policemen. o