LAST WINTER'S OVERCOAT. IV'hen the itormy breezes bluster Through the shade treoa, lank and bare. And the tiny frost flnkei sparkle In the chilly morning air, Thee we take an inventory And o'er useful things we gloat; Naught can wake our tender Interest Like last winter's overcoat. Tenderly we pick the mothballs From the pockets where they've lain, And with sponge and brush we labor To remove each soot and stain; Mourning o'er the frequent tokens Of our hungry friend the moth, Where he foraged at his leisure On the sleek Imported cloth. But at length, with some misgivings, We pronounce It fit to wear; Vet we shun our dude companions Ami recent their haughty stare. And we're apt to lose some slumber And some envy we devote To the man who need not worry O'er last winter's overcoat. IVter Grant. EVOLUTION OF A SIGNATURE. NOW WED AT HOME. FASHIONABLE BRIDES TABOO CHURCH FUNCTION. J The Little Lace maker. DLLE. NOEMI VERDI Ell, a laocmaker of Valenciennes, was 'a good as she was pretty, and her modesty and simplicity commanded the respect of all. Left au orphan at thirteen years of age she lived with her brother, three years her senior, who, having suddenly become the head of the house, labored for his little sister and himself at cabi net making. The two lived happily together; but the years passed aud the time of mili tary service came. Loulg was obliged to go. The separation was terrible to those two children, who loved each otb er so much. Left alone In the little lodgings, thus suddenly become too large for her, Noe ml with bleeding heart applied herself to her work and wrought marvels from the flax fields. Each Saturday she carried back her wort and when she returned home di vided li'r earnings In two parts. Must she not send a small subsidy to her sol dler, who was thinking of her there In hla far-away garrison? On his side Louis behaved In his regi ment as he did In Valenciennes; that Is to say, like an honest man, and so, at the end of the second year of his ab sence he was able to announce one beautiful morning that he had been promoted to be sergeant You can Imagine how happy Noeml was! How her heart throbbed with joy! Oh, how proud she was of .her dear brother! But her happiness was short. In a few weeks came a letter. The war cloud had burst all at once; armed France rushed to the frontier of the East. The dreadful war began. From the letters of her beloved Louis she learned the successive defeats of the Frencn army, Woerth, Rozenvllle, Salnt-Prlvate, Gravelotte, Sedan. Then alienee followed no more letters, no more news, nothing. Noeml, who never read the papers, hastened now to the oillce of the Guet tetir de Valenciennes and of the Echo do la Froutlere, seeking there some lit tle ray of hope. She listened to the talk on the street, she mingled with the groups of people commenting on the news, she gave ear to the painful accounts of the war and she learned, with a sinking heart, that her brother's regiment had met with severe losses. Meanwhile the wounded soldiers were sent, through Hlrsnn and Avesuea, to the towns and cities on the northern frontier. Every day fresh couvoys ar rived In Valenciennes. All the hospitals were full, and still they came. Then private ambulances were organized everywhere, churches and factories opened their doors to the unfortunate wounded soldiers. One morning the report was circu lated that a convoy of wounded from her brother's regiment had arrived dur ing the night. To the poor girl a glimmer of hope returned. She ran from one to the other, asking of the nurses, bending over every cot; but the hope of the morning vanished. AH at once she remembered that the day before they had opened In Salnt Saulve a hospital Intended especially for the otllcers. Was there any possi bility that an unknown sergeant might have been brought there? Surely not. Vet, notwithstanding, she found strength to go thither. ,An army surgeon came toward her. "What do you wish, mademoiselle?" "Oh, mousleur! Tardon! I am look ing for my brother, Sergeant Louis Ver dler." "You mean Lieutenant Louis Ver dler?" And pointing with his finger down the.long row of mattresses on the floor, "there he Is In the sixth bed." To the poor girl It seemed as If the . earth vanished from beneath her feet. She choked back an exclamation of Joy, tottered forward a few steps and with an outburst of Infinite happiness knelt before the bed of Lieutenant Verdier, who. with his head wrapped In linen, was lying in a heavy stupor. "Louis! Louis! It Is I," she ex claimed, trembling, with clasped hands, ready to fall. At this appeal the wounded man re covered his consciousness, opened his yps and perceived his sister, but not being able to raise his head he'streteh ed forth both his hands, which she seized In hers and covered with tears. In the meantime the surgeon ap proached, and, half unwillingly, led her nway. "You must not cause him any emo tion, or we cannot guarantee anything, sapristl! Your brother's wound is do ing well; he will recover, that is cer tain. If you do not undo our work." "Oh, monsieur le docteur " "Never mind monsieur le docteur. This Is enough for to-day. Come back to-morrow morning, but now go home." "Do you see, my dear Louis," said the happy Noeml to hira a few days later, sitting by the bedside of her brother, "yesterday the merchant for whom I work ordered of me a piece of magnificent lace for a wealthy English house. I began to work on It last night and I hope to finish It In ten days. For this work they will pay me a very high price. Do you know what I am going to do with the money ?" Signature ol L eal. A'tK'n'ey la If 64. fijri'ore (I Puf fed el VtUti Stilts in I' CO Those fond of studying character In handwriting will pud much of interest in the signatures of First Lieut. William McKliilc.v, Jr., of the Twenty third Ohio volunteer infantry, and William McKin'ey, President of the United States l.'ti less one looks closely at the signatures it limy seem hard to trace much siini lurily. Still, it is there, and can be found in a number of places. When the older of the signatures was written the father of the boy lieutenant waa alive, ami the future President was William Jr. This signature w as writ ten across the face of a small photograph, ,and there was not ruoin to spell the "William" out in full, even if the lieutenant had wished to do so. The photo graph was taken and the signature written when President McKinle.v was 21 years old, and when he had not had occasion to sign the name mure than a few times, comparatively. The other signature is thirty-live years older, being that of the President of the nation. For all the changes that time made in the sigua ture and in the man who wrote it, there are interesting similarities in the two fac-similes. the "Speak, my darling," answered young officer. "The surgeon says that you will soon be able to get up. I am going to take you home to our little nest aud take care of yon day and night. You shall see how happy we will be aud how quickly you will be well." "Dear, dear sister! Oh, what a good Idea,, and how I shall hasten to get strong, so as to be able to go with you." One morning, when she came In, ra dlant with gladness, her brother bade her speak low and pointed with his eyes to a new wounded officer, whom they had brought In and placed on a mat tress beside his own. The wounded man was M. de Lauterac d'Amboyse, lieutenant "aux chasseurs a pled" and had been struck In the shoulder by a bombshell. "Poor young man!" said Noeml, com passionately, "lie has no sister to take care of him." And she became Interest ed In this man, whose death seemed certain. In the meantime the days went by and Louis' convalescence progressed rapidly. Had he not promised to hurry? On the morning of the tenth day Noeml arrived, joy In her face, bringjng a pre cious package wrapped In tissue paper. She, too, had kept her word; her mar velous work was finished and she brought it to show her brother before carrying It to the merchant who order ed It, and In her joy at being able to take her brother home she forgot about the poor, wounded man lying beside her. "See how beautiful It Is!" she said, displaying the delicate masterpiece up on the bed proud of It, not because of Its overwhelming difficulties, but be cause It enabled her to realize her most ardent wish, to bring her denr conval escent Into their little nest In the little street, Into the small lodgings where happiness would come back at the re turn of her beloved brother. And they were both happy. With hands clasped, they contemplated the delicate hue. All at once a piercing shriek drew them from their ecstasy. In making an effort to rise M. de Lau terac d'Ambroyse had disarranged his bandages, the wound reopened, and the unfortunate man fell back on his bed covered with blood. At the scream the surgeon was on the spot and In a twinkling had removed the bandage. "Quick, quick! Some ilnt!" he cried. 'Hurry, hurry!" And while the nurses, beside them selves at the cries of the patient, searched everywhere for what was at hand, the stream of blood kept on flow ing and the anxious surgeon multiplied his appeals. The brother and sister, motionless, pale with fright, exchanged one glance. Noeml seized her precious lace, tore It In pieces, and gave it to the major, who applied It to the wound. The hemorrhage was stopped. Louis and Noeml, trembling with emotion, looked at each other. "Dear sister, thanks ." That was all that Louis could say. "It will make but a few days' de lay," lisped the' young girl, keeping back the tears Just ready to flow. "I will begin my work again." Lieutenant de Lauterac l'Ambroyse Is to-day colonel; he Is the father of three children; one a big, pretty girl, almost as beautiful and sweet as her mother, whose name she wears, Noeml; and two fine-looking boys, who are "terrors," as their uncle assures us, the brave com mandant Louis Vernier. Simplicity of Arran ementa Contrary to Former Elaborateness cociety I.cuder4 Hay Home Wed.liuic Is a Mor. ai re J Event Guest Btlll Numerous. The weddings of the fashionables re no longer "brilliant functions," says the Chicago Chronicle. The elab orate affair of the past few years has been replaced by a quiet home wed ding, which does not lend Itself to long descriptions. "Aud why have a home wedding?" 80me people ask. "Wasn't the old way the best?" These fashionables who have planned and executed the change have many reasons for It. In the first place they say a home wedding Is so much more tlxia A. .1... 1 ,.. I . ...... k..u.iur.i. me iii.ice ui'H'iK sua, une is inclined1 to ask tnem upon no exterior support 'and is light (why they did not think of that long and easily attached It will bean aid to ago, before Mrs. So and So or Mrs. looiuau, oaseuaii and golf players also. Somebody Else thought of It. Why . ,.,.-,, IT" .didn't they have a plain home wedding LIN.MENTS MADE AT HOME. when their first daughter was married They Are Frequently of Oreat Value for I " WaS tLe 0lll"'Cl1 80 D1UCh bt'ttel the Cure of I Uense. i theu tllan 11 now? Not that It would It Is difficult to find a liniment that1?0 nny g(,,"1 ,0 ask aI1 tlle-se tllln8- will be of more ireneinl iiw.fw .!. "' lUB '"monatle motlier or tlie rasli Now that It Is not only proper but properest to have one's wedding at home and to have it a simple, unpreten tious affair, the ordeal is no longer so trying. The preparation and celebra tion of her wedding will not leave the bride lu a state of uervous collapse and her entire family exhausted. The lusTof the church weddings were eight day wonders for splendor and no one would have dared to outdo them. They had worked themselves out of novel ties as a means of display and It only remained to repeat the wonders that bad already beeu accomplished. The home wedding is a kindly respite from these shows and a respite for which both society and the newspaper read ing public Is thankful. LET US ALL LAUGH. UOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA RIOUS HUMORISTS. Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over Sayluga that Are Cheer ful to Old or Young-Funny Selec tions that You Will Enjoy. Orogaxi a suppose you know It is the proper caper now not to serve butter at dinner. I llogan That's always been the rule at our boarding-house. They serve oleo j Instead, you know. Boston Transcript, simple camphorated oil or camphor liniment,' as It Is often called. It is val uable for rubbing on the outside of the throat or on the chest as a gentle stim ulant, or It may be used in case of chronic rlieuimitissu, where It must l;e applied with friction to give any relief. It may be purchased of the dif.gglst or It may be prepared at home by dissolv ing one ounce of gum camphor In four ionable bride would look at you lu grieved wonderment if you did. "A house wedding is so simple and pretty and my husband likes it so much bet ter, really, we never could think of having another church wedding," she would repent, much impressed with the words. All of these reasons are an avoidance of the point In question, which is simply that home weddings fluid ounces of olive oil. In case of a i are no" tttMMe a" ore. therefore, severe cold a piece of flannel dipped In camphor liniment aud heated and laid over the chest under a layer of cotton batting will seldom fail to bring relief to a little child or even to an cider person. A compound liniment Which Is ree generally observed. Within the past three months there have been thirty weddings among the ultra-fashionable at Chicago, and of this number but three were church functions. But there Is more to It than the mere fact that the home has succeeded the ommended for rheumatism and "numb- 'cum'h aa a l)lace for such affairs. ncss" Is made of two and a half ounces of gum camphor and one drachm of oil of lavender dissolved In seventeen fluid ounces of alcohol. After this add three fluid ounces of strong solution of am monia and shake the Ingredients thor oughly together in a bottle. Keep It closely corked when not In use.. A good lluiment for bruises and strains is made of two fluid ounces of alcohol, two fluid ounces of ammonia and two tablespoonfuls of salt. Put these In gredients In a quart bottle every time this liniment is used. Apply It with friction, using the palm of the hand, ns the massage nurse does. The efficacy of almost any of the llulmeuts depends considerably on the care and zeal with which it Is applied. In all cases the skin should be covered with flannel and often with cotton batting after the lini ment has been applied, as It Is desirabln to keep In the heat of the rubbing. A good healing liniment for chafed skins, burns or scalds is made of three ounces of spermaceti and one ounce of white wax melted nto a pint of olive oil In setting them In a bottle uncorked in a pan of warm water and repeatedly shaking the bottle, returning it to u.e warm water until the Ingredients are all melted together. New York Tribune. With the change the whole tone of "the function has changed, the bride Is no longer so elaborately gowned, the deco rations are not so extravagant, the bridesAialds and groomsmen are not so numerous and the guest list Is es sentially much reduced. The wedding Is still a pretty affair, but It is not gorgeous and the efforts of the most imaginative society editor could npt PROVED TO BE FORGERIES. T.muk'ra Figurine in the Boston Mu seum Are I use Jmitatiuna. The discovery that twenty-five of the twenty-eight Tauagra flgurlues lu the Boston art museum are forgeries has attracted much attention from artists and art critics, largely because the Bos ton flgurlues were the best specimens of the peculiar Tanagra potteries In this country and have beeu widely copied, etieup munitions or some oi mem ueuig found in the shop of almost every dealer lu art goods and bric-a-brac, The collection has been valued at $30, 000 and was given to the museum In 18'J by Thomas Appleton, whose au thority on art subjects was so great that the geuuineness of his gift was never questioned. It Is not believed that Mr. Appleton knew that the fig urines were forgeries, as the museum Judges at the Louvre, at Berlin , ami New York were also deceived by forged figurines made by the same persons who are now kuown to have faked the Appleton pieces. The first intimation that the Boston figurines were forgeries was the state ment of John Marshall, an English au thority, that he believed them to be spurious. Later a Greek shopkeeper from New York told the museum au thorities that the flgurlues were part of a lot made In Athens in 1874, and that he knew the maker. He produced proof that fifteen of the men engaged In the manufacture of the fictitious fig ures were now in prison for the offense. Curator Robinson of the museum, after hearing the Greek's story, reognlzed the man named as the principal maker of the forgeries as one known to him for similar work In other lines. The man Is now dead. To the credit of the mu seum authorities, they at once decided No Coo I at All. "Well, Daisy, shall we pay the house rent or give a dinner?" "Why, give the dinner, of course! What goodwill paid-up bouse rent do us If we lose our social position?' Life. On Ills Mettle. Uncle Hob Well, Johnny, are you at the head of your class? Johnny No, but I can lick the fellow that Is! Answers. Mijrht Try It. Young Lady Patient Doctor, what do you do when you burn your mouth with hot coffee? Doctor S wea r ! rick-Me-Up. Time Is Comparative. ANKLE BRACE FOR SKATERS. Device, for Giving Artificial Aid to Weak Ankles. Many a person Is prevented from learning to skate, both with roller and Ice skates, by weakness of the ankles, and as skating Is such a fascinating sport It Is not to be wondered at that artificial aid Is to be provided to brace the ankles for this sport. The latest device for this purpose has just been patented by Arthur J. and Robert T. Brauer of St. Louis, Mo., and Is Illus trated herewith. The brace Is not In- PICTURES ON HUMAN SKIN. The Latest Parisian Fad His Made Its Debut in This Cou it y. Not long after Dlukeresco, the noted Russian chemist, had discovered that It Ispossibletorepioduce a photograph on the human skin it became quite a fad In Paris for love sick men and women to have their den; one's lineament.! stamped on the arm or shoulder. An English actress now playing in New York has brought tl:e fad to this country and other member of the theatrical profession are being b:tien by the Dinkeresco habit. The process is quite simple. The spot to be consecrated to displaying the feature, of a dear one Is coated with a chemical Teacher Charles, what Is the short est day of the year? Charles (from experience) The day your father promises to give you a lick ing before you go to bed. Keeping His HiTiiTor Dry. "A sail!" shouted the lookout. The admiral knit his brow. "I hope It's the enemy," he muttered. "I have enough powder to fight a bat tle, but not enough to fire a salute!" With this he folded his arms and gloomily contemplated the horizon. Detroit Journal. Candid. "What do you think Is the saddest work of fiction you ever read?" "The cook book," answered the young woman who has not been married very long. "Not more than one In ten of those pieces come out right." Wash lugtn Star. Dcen't Melt. "It's terrible, the way the price of coal Is going up," wailed the pessimist. "Well, there Is one thing to be thank ful for," said the optimist; "coal doesn't melt like Ice." Philadelphia Record. Regrettel It. Lena-I dldu't think you'd let a man kiss you on such short acquaintance. Maude Well, he thoroughly con vinced me that it was all my fault that I hadn't met him sooner. Smart Set. I t Conr.e. "It seems to be an actual fact that an Indian never laughs." "Nonsense! Didn't Longfellow maka Minnehaha?" Philadelphia Press. FomeCaute lor Joy Yet. "Well, Dave, what did you do on your fiftieth birthday?" "Oh, I passed resolutions that I was glad I wasn't 100. "-Detroit Free P. ess. Not li inn In It. Giles At last I have got a letter from my rich une'e in California. lliltou-Anytlilng In It of Interest? Glles-Not a cent. B iston Transcript. reMom. Song writers may turn out airs by the million, but they Fe'.doin become mil lionaires. Philadelphia Retold. A Joint War.lrohe. "Do you like your new cook?" "Oh, yes, I haven't worn my silk cape but once since she came, but, gracious! I'm not going to bother her about a lit tle thing like that." Indianapolis Jour nal. Discovery. "You seem to have d'scovered the se cret of keeping a servant girl, Mrs. II111?" "Yes. Several years ago I found a maid whom my gowns would exactly fit, and I have had no trouble since." Den ver Times. i ' Pimply i.x s'a. Miss Tepprey Gracious! You don't mean to say that you absolutely do nothing? Cholly Aw, weally, I don't even do that. My man attends to ev'wythlug, y know. Philadelphia Press. lo filed. "There's no use," said Mr. Cumrox, "I ain't going to try to superintend the education of my daughter any more." "Why noti" "They're getting along where I can't follow 'em. I hear 'em chattering some times, and I can't tell whether they are reciting their Latin lesson or 'vomit ing out' for a game of hide aud seek." Washington Star. CHURCH WEDDINGS ARE NOW OUT OF DATE. TJIK NSW FAD. mixture that is Beu.sitive to the light. flexible film of the loved one's feature Is placed on the mixture and you ex pose your arm for ten minutes aud tlm picture Is there. It must be washed with three different chemicals to assur permanency. After the triple bath It U Impossible to remove the picture by any known process. m I ' SIMPLE AKD CON'VKJIIKNT SUPPORT. I Subsidence of the Bermuda Islands. According to the results of studies bv Prof. A. E. -Vertill the beautiful Be; muda Islands are merely the remnant of an Island, very much larger than tlm present group, but which has sunk In the ocean. The original island had an area of 300 or 400 square miles, wherea the Bermudas to-day are only about 2 square miles in area. Within a com parfltively recent period, says Prof. Ver- rill, the Bermudas have subsided at least 80 or 100 feet. Their base is tlm summit of an ancient volcano, whilt their surface Is composed of shell sam drifted luto hills by the wind and con solldated by Infiltration. Net Century Will Ilring Lon ;er Life. The American will be taller by from one to two inches In the next hundred years. His Increase of stature will re sult from better health, due to vast re forms In medicine, sanitation, food ami athletics. He will live fifty years in stead of thirty-five as at present foi he will reside In the suburbs. The city house will practically be no more Building In blocks will be illegal. The trip from suburban home to office will require a few minutes only. A penny will pay the fare. Indies' Home Jour nal. tended to be attached to the ankle, but depends entirely upon the force exerted by the strap pulling the triangular plates over either aukle in a downward direction. The plates are of leather and carry serai-circular steel braces, which are connected by a strap passing underneath the hollow of the foot. When the ankle starts to turn, the plate on the side toward which It bends draws the bones back into place, and there Is no upward play to the brace. The sole of the shoe Is also prevented from tilting In either direction, and as this movement always takes place Time is but a narrow ruffle on the when the ankle turiw a further aid le ' edge of eternity. Ktiphonist c In the.Kxtreine. The rapid extension of polite term. appears to threaten an era of Ches;er fieldian courtesy. A negro boy whost duty It Is to look after the family was! when taken to task far a deiay of sev eral days replied: "The wash-lady says that the wash gentleman was sick and she had to wait on him." The presumption is that the husband of the laundress has been ill. make It so. One maid of honor aud one bridesmaid are at most the attend ants of the party and frequently the maid of honor alone accompanies the bride, while the groom has no attend ant. The bride Is gowned simply yet with all the adornments necessary to the proverbial bride and the costume of her maid is likewise simple. In spite of all Its apparent simplicity, the home wedding is uot a small affair, 200 or 300 guests are frequently In at tendance and the reception w-hich fol lows is always largely attended. Take It all In all, the home function is no less brilliant, though less showy, thau that of the church and even when It Is announced as simply a family affair there Is a reception afterward for friends. There Is stllljhe "Lohengrin" wedding march and the "Oh, Promise Me," played softly through the service, and there is always the bride, a hap py and altogether charming - person, who Is after all the center of general Interest. And there Is still a wedding ring, although there. Is no page In white velvet to carry it on a cushion, and there is still a bride's bouquet to be thrown at her girl friends after the ceremony, although there Is no small flower girl to hold it. And there Is al ways the rice and the old slippers to be thrown at the departing couple, for happily the wedding Journey Is not as yet tabooed. Home Wedding Is Better of Two. Take It altogether, there are a great many people who will agree with the society matron that the home wedding Is the better of the two, although It is noticeable that they are In every case the people who will be guests at the affair wherever it is held. Yet if there Is to be a change In the style of mar riages, and It has undoubtedly been deemed necessary, it Is perhaps wisest that the wedding should be celebrated at home, "quietly," as the society col umns say, and In the old-fushioned way. The church wedding has held sway for more than ten years and It certainly was getting to lie a bore to ha ve a whole family of daughters mar ried in exactly the same way. The first could have a pink wedding and the second a blue oae aud so on to the end, but as for any further Individual ity it was simply impossible. A bride could be a bride after Just so much fuss and flurry and running to the church and back again. There was a strict code for the arrangement of such an affair and no' one dared to depart from It. For all these years society has been a slave to this code and when It did finally rebel it was to the great satisfaction and relic of numerous brides-to-be. on an Investigation of... the figurines themselves, and Mr. Marshall, w-ho bad called their attention to some of the evidences of forgery, was called In to assist Curator Robinson. The figurines were scraped and the forgery at ouci revealed. licautiful Cora L vinjtston. "Under the John Quiney Adams ad ministration Cora Livingston was rec ognized as one of a trio of the fore most beauties of the United States," writes William Perriue in the Ladies Home Journal. '"During the period from 1820 to 1830,' said Josiah Quincy who had a critical eye for pretty girls 'who has not heard of the three great belles of this country Miss Cora Liv ingston of New Orleans, Miss Julhi Dickenson of Troy and Miss Emily Marshall of Boston?' Indeed, he ob served that he would need to know how to paint the rose to describe Miss Cora. 'In the first place,' he went ou to say, 'she is not handsome; I mean not transcendentally handsome, but she has a fine figure, a pretty face, dances well, and dresses to admiration. It is the height of the ton to be uer admirer, aud she Is certainly the belle of this country.' "The beauty of Cora Livingston Bur ton had ripened early and It faded ear- ly. Long after the days of her suprem acy as a belle were gone Josiah Quiney was lanen to tier home at Monteoinerv place, on the Hudson. He had not seen her for thirty years. 'Will you come Into the house and see Mrs. Barton' he was asked. He assented, and he saw an old lady In cap and dress of studied simplicity. 'You would not have known me,' she said, and he could not make reply. 'Come Into the next room,' she then said, 'and you will see the Cora Livingston you knew in Washington.' There he saw the full length portrait of the beauty to whom he had paid homage a generation be Worst Yet. "Please, I want a pennorlh of er er I want er er " "Have you forgotten what you came for?" "Yes, that's what I want" "What?" ; : Vt '' "Camphor." Moonshine. Bright Boy. Josh Hayrake I've got one smart on up In the Klondike. Reuben Glue Uettln' rich fast, 1 s'pose? Josh Hayrake Oh, yes; he writes that he'll soon have enough tew git home with. Brooklyn Life. Too Ivarly to Tell. "What are the names of that newly married couple In the next flat?" "Oh, we can't find out for a few weeks; each now calls the other 'Birdie. "Indianapolis Journal. Beauties of Employing a Mascot. 1 Her Valuation. Biggs (to cabman) What will you charge to take me aud my wife to Blank's Hotel? Cabman Half a crown, sir. Biggs And how much for taking me alone? Cabman The same half a crown. Biggs (to his wife) There, my dear, you see how much you are valued at. Tit-Bits. Worked Both Ways. "I can't have lost all my good looks," said Miss Northside to her best friend, Miss Shadyside, "for I can st.ll obtain a seat in a crowded street car." "Oh, well," replied Miss Shadyside, "you know the men will give seats to old age as well as to youthful beauty." Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. this re'-p'.exinjr, "Mamma, my birthday comes year on Monday, doesn't it?" "Yes, dear." "And last year It was on Sunday, wasn't It?" "Yes, dear." "Did It come on Saturday the year before last?" "Y'es, dear." "Mamma, how many days In the week was I born on?" The King. Boy Say, mister, let me bait your book. Fisherman I will, If you give me food luck. Boy (adjusting the bait)-The last man I baited for got turned out of church for telling the truth about how many fish he caught. Good Advice. Tackleton I'm glad your yatch beat Bragman's. He was blowing so much before the race. It's your turn now. "He laughs best who laughs last." Malnsel Yes; but say, rather, "He laughs best who luffs first. "Philadel phia Press Crafty. Jackson-No, I never take a news puper uonie. i ve got a family of grown-up Daughters, you know. Friend-Paicrs too full of crime? Jackson No; too full of bargain sale -Tit-Bits. An Illiterate. Jane What did you ever reject John Gray for? Kitty He was so Illiterate. Jaue-Illi!e:ate? Why, I thought he was a man of superior education. Kitty Well, he wasn't. He dldu't even know the rudlmen'.s, for when 1 told him "no" and thought sure h would read between the lines, would you believe It, the gump picked up his hat and went home. Deiro.'t Free Press. N His Kngli-h. He You cllmed ze Matterhora? Zat was a great foot She Great feat, you mean. Count He All! Zen you cllmed hJm more i U once! Punch. Paving Women. ' Mr. rayneWhat! Sixty-eight dol lars for an evening Hm.i ti-u- fore, and he could gaze upon it only in 'thought von wei- !n .," '. silence" . . . -". juur jiui o umva uuc umie over. How Many. Mrs. Payne I did, dear. I had It Jonesby and his wife took the family made over red satin, and that's what tandem with them on their summer va- o. Philadelphia Bulletin. cation, and In due time returned home greatly refreshed by the outing. Preventing the Cure. You are not as much tanned t 3 as ri JC: n7, 1 . , Says an In" I expected to see you, Jonesby." re- maI ge "ol dlo a ' I,reVeDt marked Brownson, meeting him thf, ,,T,. ,? next day after his return " 4e 1 J?-JSW T candidly how far rou traveled on that , b ' ior xUy. tandem." Good Idea. I'd fix that Hall of Fame all right." ie your basis of "Well," he replied. lowering his voice i nave nirea a Doy to turn the front ! "What would wheel Just one hour. As soon as he choice?" has finished I'll look at the cyclometer "Why, I think no man's name oucht and tell you exactly how many miles to go in there until everybody is dead we made on It" tttt knew him."-Indianapoli8 J0US The Strenuous Life. New Reporter (tired out)To-day Is Saturday, and you know that this State now has a Saturday half-holiday law which City Edltor-By Jinks! I nearly for got it. Rush out. and get up a five-column article ou how the day Is being ob served. New York Weekly. , Ha t 'Km to Rnl. Customer (having tried nearly all the hats in the shop) It's a funny thing that you don't seem to have a hat that suits my head. Shopman (truly anxious to please) Try a soft one, sir. Plck-Me-Up. From the Atlantic. "What are you nosing around that At lantic cable for?" said the lobster to the bluefish. "Oh." said the latter, nonchalantly, "merely picking up a few ocean cur rents." Detroit Free Press. Petroleum In I'aint Kxploiles. Explosions caused by paint mixed with petroleum ether are saia to have occurred frequently of late In England. The admixture of petroleum ether Is made to hasten the drying of the paint. Aside from the recent accidents with such paiuts in the Interior of vessels attention Is called to the fire In former years on the nau-of-war Dotterel where 151 persons lost their lives! Hence great caution is recommended In employing such paints. In closed rooms their use should be entlrelv nro hibitcd. Age of Hcsponsibllity. In England the law looks upon every one over the age of 7 as a resnnnaii.ia being, and every child beyond that age can be prosecuted as a criminal, n. same age is accepted in Russia and Por tugal. In France aid Belgium the age is 8, In Italy and Spain It Is 9. Norway Greece. Austria, Denmark and H,.iion,i decline to prosecute a child under 10 and this Is the rule also In some of the Swiss cantons. In Germany the limit of responsibility is fixed at 12. '