The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, January 04, 1901, Image 4

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IV'hen the itormy breezes bluster
Through the shade treoa, lank and bare.
And the tiny frost flnkei sparkle
In the chilly morning air,
Thee we take an inventory
And o'er useful things we gloat;
Naught can wake our tender Interest
Like last winter's overcoat.
Tenderly we pick the mothballs
From the pockets where they've lain,
And with sponge and brush we labor
To remove each soot and stain;
Mourning o'er the frequent tokens
Of our hungry friend the moth,
Where he foraged at his leisure
On the sleek Imported cloth.
But at length, with some misgivings,
We pronounce It fit to wear;
Vet we shun our dude companions
Ami recent their haughty stare.
And we're apt to lose some slumber
And some envy we devote
To the man who need not worry
O'er last winter's overcoat.
IVter Grant.
J The Little Lace maker.
laocmaker of Valenciennes, was
'a good as she was pretty, and
her modesty and simplicity commanded
the respect of all.
Left au orphan at thirteen years of
age she lived with her brother, three
years her senior, who, having suddenly
become the head of the house, labored
for his little sister and himself at cabi
net making.
The two lived happily together; but
the years passed aud the time of mili
tary service came. Loulg was obliged
to go. The separation was terrible to
those two children, who loved each otb
er so much.
Left alone In the little lodgings, thus
suddenly become too large for her, Noe
ml with bleeding heart applied herself
to her work and wrought marvels from
the flax fields.
Each Saturday she carried back her
wort and when she returned home di
vided li'r earnings In two parts. Must
she not send a small subsidy to her sol
dler, who was thinking of her there In
hla far-away garrison?
On his side Louis behaved In his regi
ment as he did In Valenciennes; that Is
to say, like an honest man, and so, at
the end of the second year of his ab
sence he was able to announce one
beautiful morning that he had been
promoted to be sergeant
You can Imagine how happy Noeml
was! How her heart throbbed with joy!
Oh, how proud she was of .her dear
brother! But her happiness was short.
In a few weeks came a letter. The war
cloud had burst all at once; armed
France rushed to the frontier of the
The dreadful war began.
From the letters of her beloved Louis
she learned the successive defeats of
the Frencn army, Woerth, Rozenvllle,
Salnt-Prlvate, Gravelotte, Sedan. Then
alienee followed no more letters, no
more news, nothing.
Noeml, who never read the papers,
hastened now to the oillce of the Guet
tetir de Valenciennes and of the Echo
do la Froutlere, seeking there some lit
tle ray of hope. She listened to the
talk on the street, she mingled with
the groups of people commenting on
the news, she gave ear to the painful
accounts of the war and she learned,
with a sinking heart, that her brother's
regiment had met with severe losses.
Meanwhile the wounded soldiers were
sent, through Hlrsnn and Avesuea, to
the towns and cities on the northern
frontier. Every day fresh couvoys ar
rived In Valenciennes.
All the hospitals were full, and still
they came. Then private ambulances
were organized everywhere, churches
and factories opened their doors to the
unfortunate wounded soldiers.
One morning the report was circu
lated that a convoy of wounded from
her brother's regiment had arrived dur
ing the night.
To the poor girl a glimmer of hope
She ran from one to the other, asking
of the nurses, bending over every cot;
but the hope of the morning vanished.
AH at once she remembered that the
day before they had opened In Salnt
Saulve a hospital Intended especially
for the otllcers. Was there any possi
bility that an unknown sergeant might
have been brought there? Surely not.
Vet, notwithstanding, she found
strength to go thither.
,An army surgeon came toward her.
"What do you wish, mademoiselle?"
"Oh, mousleur! Tardon! I am look
ing for my brother, Sergeant Louis Ver
dler." "You mean Lieutenant Louis Ver
dler?" And pointing with his finger
down the.long row of mattresses on the
floor, "there he Is In the sixth bed."
To the poor girl It seemed as If the
. earth vanished from beneath her feet.
She choked back an exclamation of Joy,
tottered forward a few steps and with
an outburst of Infinite happiness knelt
before the bed of Lieutenant Verdier,
who. with his head wrapped In linen,
was lying in a heavy stupor.
"Louis! Louis! It Is I," she ex
claimed, trembling, with clasped hands,
ready to fall.
At this appeal the wounded man re
covered his consciousness, opened his
yps and perceived his sister, but not
being able to raise his head he'streteh
ed forth both his hands, which she
seized In hers and covered with tears.
In the meantime the surgeon ap
proached, and, half unwillingly, led her
"You must not cause him any emo
tion, or we cannot guarantee anything,
sapristl! Your brother's wound is do
ing well; he will recover, that is cer
tain. If you do not undo our work."
"Oh, monsieur le docteur "
"Never mind monsieur le docteur.
This Is enough for to-day. Come back
to-morrow morning, but now go home."
"Do you see, my dear Louis," said
the happy Noeml to hira a few days
later, sitting by the bedside of her
brother, "yesterday the merchant for
whom I work ordered of me a piece of
magnificent lace for a wealthy English
house. I began to work on It last night
and I hope to finish It In ten days. For
this work they will pay me a very high
price. Do you know what I am going
to do with the money ?"
Signature ol L eal. A'tK'n'ey la If 64. fijri'ore (I Puf fed el VtUti Stilts in I' CO
Those fond of studying character In handwriting will pud much of interest in
the signatures of First Lieut. William McKliilc.v, Jr., of the Twenty third Ohio
volunteer infantry, and William McKin'ey, President of the United States l.'ti
less one looks closely at the signatures it limy seem hard to trace much siini
lurily. Still, it is there, and can be found in a number of places.
When the older of the signatures was written the father of the boy lieutenant
waa alive, ami the future President was William Jr. This signature w as writ
ten across the face of a small photograph, ,and there was not ruoin to spell the
"William" out in full, even if the lieutenant had wished to do so. The photo
graph was taken and the signature written when President McKinle.v was 21
years old, and when he had not had occasion to sign the name mure than a few
times, comparatively. The other signature is thirty-live years older, being that of
the President of the nation. For all the changes that time made in the sigua
ture and in the man who wrote it, there are interesting similarities in the two
"Speak, my darling," answered
young officer.
"The surgeon says that you will soon
be able to get up. I am going to take
you home to our little nest aud take
care of yon day and night. You shall
see how happy we will be aud how
quickly you will be well."
"Dear, dear sister! Oh, what a good
Idea,, and how I shall hasten to get
strong, so as to be able to go with you."
One morning, when she came In, ra
dlant with gladness, her brother bade
her speak low and pointed with his eyes
to a new wounded officer, whom they
had brought In and placed on a mat
tress beside his own. The wounded
man was M. de Lauterac d'Amboyse,
lieutenant "aux chasseurs a pled" and
had been struck In the shoulder by a
"Poor young man!" said Noeml, com
passionately, "lie has no sister to take
care of him." And she became Interest
ed In this man, whose death seemed
In the meantime the days went by
and Louis' convalescence progressed
rapidly. Had he not promised to hurry?
On the morning of the tenth day Noeml
arrived, joy In her face, bringjng a pre
cious package wrapped In tissue paper.
She, too, had kept her word; her mar
velous work was finished and she
brought it to show her brother before
carrying It to the merchant who order
ed It, and In her joy at being able to
take her brother home she forgot about
the poor, wounded man lying beside
"See how beautiful It Is!" she said,
displaying the delicate masterpiece up
on the bed proud of It, not because of
Its overwhelming difficulties, but be
cause It enabled her to realize her most
ardent wish, to bring her denr conval
escent Into their little nest In the little
street, Into the small lodgings where
happiness would come back at the re
turn of her beloved brother.
And they were both happy. With
hands clasped, they contemplated the
delicate hue.
All at once a piercing shriek drew
them from their ecstasy.
In making an effort to rise M. de Lau
terac d'Ambroyse had disarranged his
bandages, the wound reopened, and the
unfortunate man fell back on his bed
covered with blood.
At the scream the surgeon was on the
spot and In a twinkling had removed
the bandage.
"Quick, quick! Some ilnt!" he cried.
'Hurry, hurry!"
And while the nurses, beside them
selves at the cries of the patient,
searched everywhere for what was at
hand, the stream of blood kept on flow
ing and the anxious surgeon multiplied
his appeals.
The brother and sister, motionless,
pale with fright, exchanged one glance.
Noeml seized her precious lace, tore It
In pieces, and gave it to the major, who
applied It to the wound.
The hemorrhage was stopped.
Louis and Noeml, trembling with
emotion, looked at each other.
"Dear sister, thanks ." That was
all that Louis could say.
"It will make but a few days' de
lay," lisped the' young girl, keeping
back the tears Just ready to flow. "I
will begin my work again."
Lieutenant de Lauterac l'Ambroyse Is
to-day colonel; he Is the father of three
children; one a big, pretty girl, almost
as beautiful and sweet as her mother,
whose name she wears, Noeml; and two
fine-looking boys, who are "terrors," as
their uncle assures us, the brave com
mandant Louis Vernier.
Simplicity of Arran ementa Contrary
to Former Elaborateness cociety
I.cuder4 Hay Home Wed.liuic Is a Mor.
ai re J Event Guest Btlll Numerous.
The weddings of the fashionables
re no longer "brilliant functions,"
says the Chicago Chronicle. The elab
orate affair of the past few years has
been replaced by a quiet home wed
ding, which does not lend Itself to long
descriptions. "Aud why have a home
wedding?" 80me people ask. "Wasn't
the old way the best?"
These fashionables who have planned
and executed the change have many
reasons for It. In the first place they
say a home wedding Is so much more
tlxia A. .1... 1 ,.. I .
...... k..u.iur.i. me ui'H'iK sua, une is inclined1 to ask tnem
upon no exterior support 'and is light (why they did not think of that long
and easily attached It will bean aid to ago, before Mrs. So and So or Mrs.
looiuau, oaseuaii and golf players also. Somebody Else thought of It. Why
. ,.,.-,, IT" .didn't they have a plain home wedding
LIN.MENTS MADE AT HOME. when their first daughter was married
They Are Frequently of Oreat Value for I " WaS tLe 0lll"'Cl1 80 D1UCh bt'ttel
the Cure of I Uense. i theu tllan 11 now? Not that It would
It Is difficult to find a liniment that1?0 nny g(,,"1 ,0 ask aI1 tlle-se tllln8-
will be of more ireneinl iiw.fw .!. "' lUB '"monatle motlier or tlie rasli
Now that It Is not only proper but
properest to have one's wedding at
home and to have it a simple, unpreten
tious affair, the ordeal is no longer so
trying. The preparation and celebra
tion of her wedding will not leave
the bride lu a state of uervous collapse
and her entire family exhausted. The
lusTof the church weddings were eight
day wonders for splendor and no one
would have dared to outdo them. They
had worked themselves out of novel
ties as a means of display and It only
remained to repeat the wonders that
bad already beeu accomplished. The
home wedding is a kindly respite from
these shows and a respite for which
both society and the newspaper read
ing public Is thankful.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over Sayluga that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Young-Funny Selec
tions that You Will Enjoy.
Orogaxi a suppose you know It is the
proper caper now not to serve butter at
I llogan That's always been the rule
at our boarding-house. They serve oleo
j Instead, you know. Boston Transcript,
simple camphorated oil or camphor
liniment,' as It Is often called. It is val
uable for rubbing on the outside of the
throat or on the chest as a gentle stim
ulant, or It may be used in case of
chronic rlieuimitissu, where It must l;e
applied with friction to give any relief.
It may be purchased of the dif.gglst or
It may be prepared at home by dissolv
ing one ounce of gum camphor In four
ionable bride would look at you lu
grieved wonderment if you did. "A
house wedding is so simple and pretty
and my husband likes it so much bet
ter, really, we never could think of
having another church wedding," she
would repent, much impressed with the
words. All of these reasons are an
avoidance of the point In question,
which is simply that home weddings
fluid ounces of olive oil. In case of a i are no" tttMMe a" ore. therefore,
severe cold a piece of flannel dipped In
camphor liniment aud heated and laid
over the chest under a layer of cotton
batting will seldom fail to bring relief
to a little child or even to an cider person.
A compound liniment Which Is ree
generally observed. Within the past
three months there have been thirty
weddings among the ultra-fashionable
at Chicago, and of this number but
three were church functions.
But there Is more to It than the mere
fact that the home has succeeded the
ommended for rheumatism and "numb- 'cum'h aa a l)lace for such affairs.
ncss" Is made of two and a half ounces
of gum camphor and one drachm of oil
of lavender dissolved In seventeen fluid
ounces of alcohol. After this add three
fluid ounces of strong solution of am
monia and shake the Ingredients thor
oughly together in a bottle. Keep It
closely corked when not In use.. A good
lluiment for bruises and strains is
made of two fluid ounces of alcohol,
two fluid ounces of ammonia and two
tablespoonfuls of salt. Put these In
gredients In a quart bottle every time
this liniment is used. Apply It with
friction, using the palm of the hand, ns
the massage nurse does. The efficacy
of almost any of the llulmeuts depends
considerably on the care and zeal with
which it Is applied. In all cases the
skin should be covered with flannel and
often with cotton batting after the lini
ment has been applied, as It Is desirabln
to keep In the heat of the rubbing. A
good healing liniment for chafed skins,
burns or scalds is made of three ounces
of spermaceti and one ounce of white
wax melted nto a pint of olive oil In
setting them In a bottle uncorked in a
pan of warm water and repeatedly
shaking the bottle, returning it to u.e
warm water until the Ingredients are
all melted together. New York Tribune.
With the change the whole tone of "the
function has changed, the bride Is no
longer so elaborately gowned, the deco
rations are not so extravagant, the
bridesAialds and groomsmen are not
so numerous and the guest list Is es
sentially much reduced. The wedding
Is still a pretty affair, but It is not
gorgeous and the efforts of the most
imaginative society editor could npt
T.muk'ra Figurine in the Boston Mu
seum Are I use Jmitatiuna.
The discovery that twenty-five of the
twenty-eight Tauagra flgurlues lu the
Boston art museum are forgeries has
attracted much attention from artists
and art critics, largely because the Bos
ton flgurlues were the best specimens
of the peculiar Tanagra potteries In this
country and have beeu widely copied,
etieup munitions or some oi mem ueuig
found in the shop of almost every
dealer lu art goods and bric-a-brac,
The collection has been valued at $30,
000 and was given to the museum In
18'J by Thomas Appleton, whose au
thority on art subjects was so great
that the geuuineness of his gift was
never questioned. It Is not believed
that Mr. Appleton knew that the fig
urines were forgeries, as the museum
Judges at the Louvre, at Berlin , ami
New York were also deceived by forged
figurines made by the same persons
who are now kuown to have faked the
Appleton pieces.
The first intimation that the Boston
figurines were forgeries was the state
ment of John Marshall, an English au
thority, that he believed them to be
spurious. Later a Greek shopkeeper
from New York told the museum au
thorities that the flgurlues were part
of a lot made In Athens in 1874, and
that he knew the maker. He produced
proof that fifteen of the men engaged
In the manufacture of the fictitious fig
ures were now in prison for the offense.
Curator Robinson of the museum, after
hearing the Greek's story, reognlzed the
man named as the principal maker of
the forgeries as one known to him for
similar work In other lines. The man
Is now dead. To the credit of the mu
seum authorities, they at once decided
No Coo I at All.
"Well, Daisy, shall we pay the house
rent or give a dinner?"
"Why, give the dinner, of course!
What goodwill paid-up bouse rent do
us If we lose our social position?' Life.
On Ills Mettle.
Uncle Hob Well, Johnny, are you at
the head of your class?
Johnny No, but I can lick the fellow
that Is! Answers.
Mijrht Try It.
Young Lady Patient Doctor, what
do you do when you burn your mouth
with hot coffee?
Doctor S wea r ! rick-Me-Up.
Time Is Comparative.
Device, for Giving Artificial Aid to
Weak Ankles.
Many a person Is prevented from
learning to skate, both with roller and
Ice skates, by weakness of the ankles,
and as skating Is such a fascinating
sport It Is not to be wondered at that
artificial aid Is to be provided to brace
the ankles for this sport. The latest
device for this purpose has just been
patented by Arthur J. and Robert T.
Brauer of St. Louis, Mo., and Is Illus
trated herewith. The brace Is not In-
The Latest Parisian Fad His Made
Its Debut in This Cou it y.
Not long after Dlukeresco, the noted
Russian chemist, had discovered that It
Ispossibletorepioduce a photograph on
the human skin it
became quite a fad
In Paris for love sick
men and women to
have their den;
one's lineament.!
stamped on the arm
or shoulder. An
English actress now
playing in New
York has brought tl:e
fad to this country
and other member
of the theatrical profession are being
b:tien by the Dinkeresco habit. The
process is quite simple. The spot to be
consecrated to displaying the feature,
of a dear one Is coated with a chemical
Teacher Charles, what Is the short
est day of the year?
Charles (from experience) The day
your father promises to give you a lick
ing before you go to bed.
Keeping His HiTiiTor Dry.
"A sail!" shouted the lookout.
The admiral knit his brow.
"I hope It's the enemy," he muttered.
"I have enough powder to fight a bat
tle, but not enough to fire a salute!"
With this he folded his arms and
gloomily contemplated the horizon.
Detroit Journal.
"What do you think Is the saddest
work of fiction you ever read?"
"The cook book," answered the young
woman who has not been married very
long. "Not more than one In ten of
those pieces come out right." Wash
lugtn Star.
Dcen't Melt.
"It's terrible, the way the price of
coal Is going up," wailed the pessimist.
"Well, there Is one thing to be thank
ful for," said the optimist; "coal doesn't
melt like Ice." Philadelphia Record.
Regrettel It.
Lena-I dldu't think you'd let a man
kiss you on such short acquaintance.
Maude Well, he thoroughly con
vinced me that it was all my fault that
I hadn't met him sooner. Smart Set.
I t Conr.e.
"It seems to be an actual fact that
an Indian never laughs."
"Nonsense! Didn't Longfellow maka
Minnehaha?" Philadelphia Press.
FomeCaute lor Joy Yet.
"Well, Dave, what did you do on your
fiftieth birthday?"
"Oh, I passed resolutions that I was
glad I wasn't 100. "-Detroit Free P. ess.
Not li inn In It.
Giles At last I have got a letter
from my rich une'e in California.
lliltou-Anytlilng In It of Interest?
Glles-Not a cent. B iston Transcript.
Song writers may turn out airs by the
million, but they Fe'.doin become mil
lionaires. Philadelphia Retold.
A Joint War.lrohe.
"Do you like your new cook?"
"Oh, yes, I haven't worn my silk cape
but once since she came, but, gracious!
I'm not going to bother her about a lit
tle thing like that." Indianapolis Jour
nal. Discovery.
"You seem to have d'scovered the se
cret of keeping a servant girl, Mrs.
"Yes. Several years ago I found a
maid whom my gowns would exactly fit,
and I have had no trouble since." Den
ver Times. i
' Pimply i.x s'a.
Miss Tepprey Gracious! You don't
mean to say that you absolutely do
Cholly Aw, weally, I don't even do
that. My man attends to ev'wythlug,
y know. Philadelphia Press.
lo filed.
"There's no use," said Mr. Cumrox,
"I ain't going to try to superintend the
education of my daughter any more."
"Why noti"
"They're getting along where I can't
follow 'em. I hear 'em chattering some
times, and I can't tell whether they
are reciting their Latin lesson or 'vomit
ing out' for a game of hide aud seek."
Washington Star.
mixture that is Beu.sitive to the light.
flexible film of the loved one's feature
Is placed on the mixture and you ex
pose your arm for ten minutes aud tlm
picture Is there. It must be washed
with three different chemicals to assur
permanency. After the triple bath It U
Impossible to remove the picture by any
known process.
I '
Subsidence of the Bermuda Islands.
According to the results of studies bv
Prof. A. E. -Vertill the beautiful Be;
muda Islands are merely the remnant
of an Island, very much larger than tlm
present group, but which has sunk In
the ocean. The original island had an
area of 300 or 400 square miles, wherea
the Bermudas to-day are only about 2
square miles in area. Within a com
parfltively recent period, says Prof. Ver-
rill, the Bermudas have subsided at
least 80 or 100 feet. Their base is tlm
summit of an ancient volcano, whilt
their surface Is composed of shell sam
drifted luto hills by the wind and con
solldated by Infiltration.
Net Century Will Ilring Lon ;er Life.
The American will be taller by from
one to two inches In the next hundred
years. His Increase of stature will re
sult from better health, due to vast re
forms In medicine, sanitation, food ami
athletics. He will live fifty years in
stead of thirty-five as at present foi
he will reside In the suburbs. The city
house will practically be no more
Building In blocks will be illegal. The
trip from suburban home to office will
require a few minutes only. A penny
will pay the fare. Indies' Home Jour
tended to be attached to the ankle, but
depends entirely upon the force exerted
by the strap pulling the triangular
plates over either aukle in a downward
direction. The plates are of leather
and carry serai-circular steel braces,
which are connected by a strap passing
underneath the hollow of the foot.
When the ankle starts to turn, the
plate on the side toward which It bends
draws the bones back into place, and
there Is no upward play to the brace.
The sole of the shoe Is also prevented
from tilting In either direction, and as
this movement always takes place Time is but a narrow ruffle on the
when the ankle turiw a further aid le ' edge of eternity.
Ktiphonist c In the.Kxtreine.
The rapid extension of polite term.
appears to threaten an era of Ches;er
fieldian courtesy. A negro boy whost
duty It Is to look after the family was!
when taken to task far a deiay of sev
eral days replied:
"The wash-lady says that the wash
gentleman was sick and she had to
wait on him."
The presumption is that the husband
of the laundress has been ill.
make It so. One maid of honor aud
one bridesmaid are at most the attend
ants of the party and frequently the
maid of honor alone accompanies the
bride, while the groom has no attend
ant. The bride Is gowned simply yet
with all the adornments necessary to
the proverbial bride and the costume
of her maid is likewise simple.
In spite of all Its apparent simplicity,
the home wedding is uot a small affair,
200 or 300 guests are frequently In at
tendance and the reception w-hich fol
lows is always largely attended. Take
It all In all, the home function is no
less brilliant, though less showy, thau
that of the church and even when It
Is announced as simply a family affair
there Is a reception afterward for
friends. There Is stllljhe "Lohengrin"
wedding march and the "Oh, Promise
Me," played softly through the service,
and there is always the bride, a hap
py and altogether charming - person,
who Is after all the center of general
Interest. And there Is still a wedding
ring, although there. Is no page In
white velvet to carry it on a cushion,
and there is still a bride's bouquet to
be thrown at her girl friends after the
ceremony, although there Is no small
flower girl to hold it. And there Is al
ways the rice and the old slippers to
be thrown at the departing couple, for
happily the wedding Journey Is not as
yet tabooed.
Home Wedding Is Better of Two.
Take It altogether, there are a great
many people who will agree with the
society matron that the home wedding
Is the better of the two, although It is
noticeable that they are In every case
the people who will be guests at the
affair wherever it is held. Yet if there
Is to be a change In the style of mar
riages, and It has undoubtedly been
deemed necessary, it Is perhaps wisest
that the wedding should be celebrated
at home, "quietly," as the society col
umns say, and In the old-fushioned
way. The church wedding has held
sway for more than ten years and It
certainly was getting to lie a bore to
ha ve a whole family of daughters mar
ried in exactly the same way. The
first could have a pink wedding and
the second a blue oae aud so on to the
end, but as for any further Individual
ity it was simply impossible. A bride
could be a bride after Just so much
fuss and flurry and running to the
church and back again. There was a
strict code for the arrangement of such
an affair and no' one dared to depart
from It. For all these years society
has been a slave to this code and when
It did finally rebel it was to the great
satisfaction and relic of numerous
on an Investigation of... the figurines
themselves, and Mr. Marshall, w-ho bad
called their attention to some of the
evidences of forgery, was called In to
assist Curator Robinson. The figurines
were scraped and the forgery at ouci
licautiful Cora L vinjtston.
"Under the John Quiney Adams ad
ministration Cora Livingston was rec
ognized as one of a trio of the fore
most beauties of the United States,"
writes William Perriue in the Ladies
Home Journal. '"During the period
from 1820 to 1830,' said Josiah Quincy
who had a critical eye for pretty girls
'who has not heard of the three great
belles of this country Miss Cora Liv
ingston of New Orleans, Miss Julhi
Dickenson of Troy and Miss Emily
Marshall of Boston?' Indeed, he ob
served that he would need to know
how to paint the rose to describe Miss
Cora. 'In the first place,' he went ou
to say, 'she is not handsome; I mean
not transcendentally handsome, but she
has a fine figure, a pretty face, dances
well, and dresses to admiration. It is
the height of the ton to be uer admirer,
aud she Is certainly the belle of this
"The beauty of Cora Livingston Bur
ton had ripened early and It faded ear-
ly. Long after the days of her suprem
acy as a belle were gone Josiah Quiney
was lanen to tier home at Monteoinerv
place, on the Hudson. He had not seen
her for thirty years. 'Will you come
Into the house and see Mrs. Barton'
he was asked. He assented, and he
saw an old lady In cap and dress of
studied simplicity. 'You would not
have known me,' she said, and he could
not make reply. 'Come Into the next
room,' she then said, 'and you will see
the Cora Livingston you knew in
Washington.' There he saw the full
length portrait of the beauty to whom
he had paid homage a generation be
Worst Yet.
"Please, I want a pennorlh of er
er I want er er "
"Have you forgotten what you came
"Yes, that's what I want"
"What?" ; : Vt ''
"Camphor." Moonshine.
Bright Boy.
Josh Hayrake I've got one smart
on up In the Klondike.
Reuben Glue Uettln' rich fast, 1
Josh Hayrake Oh, yes; he writes
that he'll soon have enough tew git
home with. Brooklyn Life.
Too Ivarly to Tell.
"What are the names of that newly
married couple In the next flat?"
"Oh, we can't find out for a few
weeks; each now calls the other
'Birdie. "Indianapolis Journal.
Beauties of Employing a Mascot.
Her Valuation.
Biggs (to cabman) What will you
charge to take me aud my wife to
Blank's Hotel?
Cabman Half a crown, sir.
Biggs And how much for taking me
Cabman The same half a crown.
Biggs (to his wife) There, my dear,
you see how much you are valued at.
Worked Both Ways.
"I can't have lost all my good looks,"
said Miss Northside to her best friend,
Miss Shadyside, "for I can st.ll obtain
a seat in a crowded street car."
"Oh, well," replied Miss Shadyside,
"you know the men will give seats to
old age as well as to youthful beauty."
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
"Mamma, my birthday comes
year on Monday, doesn't it?"
"Yes, dear."
"And last year It was on Sunday,
wasn't It?"
"Yes, dear."
"Did It come on Saturday the year
before last?"
"Y'es, dear."
"Mamma, how many days In the
week was I born on?" The King.
Boy Say, mister, let me bait your
Fisherman I will, If you give me
food luck.
Boy (adjusting the bait)-The last
man I baited for got turned out of
church for telling the truth about how
many fish he caught.
Good Advice.
Tackleton I'm glad your yatch beat
Bragman's. He was blowing so much
before the race. It's your turn now.
"He laughs best who laughs last."
Malnsel Yes; but say, rather, "He
laughs best who luffs first. "Philadel
phia Press
Jackson-No, I never take a news
puper uonie. i ve got a family of
grown-up Daughters, you know.
Friend-Paicrs too full of crime?
Jackson No; too full of bargain sale
An Illiterate.
Jane What did you ever reject John
Gray for?
Kitty He was so Illiterate.
Jaue-Illi!e:ate? Why, I thought he
was a man of superior education.
Kitty Well, he wasn't. He dldu't
even know the rudlmen'.s, for when 1
told him "no" and thought sure h
would read between the lines, would
you believe It, the gump picked up his
hat and went home. Deiro.'t Free
Press. N
His Kngli-h.
He You cllmed ze Matterhora? Zat
was a great foot
She Great feat, you mean. Count
He All! Zen you cllmed hJm more
i U once! Punch.
Paving Women. '
Mr. rayneWhat! Sixty-eight dol
lars for an evening Hm.i ti-u-
fore, and he could gaze upon it only in 'thought von wei- !n .," '.
silence" . . . -". juur
jiui o umva uuc umie over.
How Many. Mrs. Payne I did, dear. I had It
Jonesby and his wife took the family made over red satin, and that's what
tandem with them on their summer va- o. Philadelphia Bulletin.
cation, and In due time returned home
greatly refreshed by the outing.
Preventing the Cure.
You are not as much tanned t 3 as ri JC: n7, 1 . , Says an In"
I expected to see you, Jonesby." re- maI ge "ol dlo a ' I,reVeDt
marked Brownson, meeting him thf, ,,T,. ,?
next day after his return " 4e 1 J?-JSW T
candidly how far rou traveled on that , b ' ior xUy.
Good Idea.
I'd fix that Hall of Fame all right."
ie your basis of
"Well," he replied. lowering his voice
i nave nirea a Doy to turn the front ! "What would
wheel Just one hour. As soon as he choice?"
has finished I'll look at the cyclometer "Why, I think no man's name oucht
and tell you exactly how many miles to go in there until everybody is dead
we made on It" tttt knew him."-Indianapoli8 J0US
The Strenuous Life.
New Reporter (tired out)To-day Is
Saturday, and you know that this State
now has a Saturday half-holiday law
City Edltor-By Jinks! I nearly for
got it. Rush out. and get up a five-column
article ou how the day Is being ob
served. New York Weekly.
Ha t 'Km to Rnl.
Customer (having tried nearly all the
hats in the shop) It's a funny thing
that you don't seem to have a hat that
suits my head.
Shopman (truly anxious to please)
Try a soft one, sir. Plck-Me-Up.
From the Atlantic.
"What are you nosing around that At
lantic cable for?" said the lobster to the
"Oh." said the latter, nonchalantly,
"merely picking up a few ocean cur
rents." Detroit Free Press.
Petroleum In I'aint Kxploiles.
Explosions caused by paint mixed
with petroleum ether are saia to have
occurred frequently of late In England.
The admixture of petroleum ether Is
made to hasten the drying of the paint.
Aside from the recent accidents with
such paiuts in the Interior of vessels
attention Is called to the fire In former
years on the nau-of-war Dotterel
where 151 persons lost their lives!
Hence great caution is recommended
In employing such paints. In closed
rooms their use should be entlrelv nro
hibitcd. Age of Hcsponsibllity.
In England the law looks upon every
one over the age of 7 as a resnnnaii.ia
being, and every child beyond that age
can be prosecuted as a criminal, n.
same age is accepted in Russia and Por
tugal. In France aid Belgium the age
is 8, In Italy and Spain It Is 9. Norway
Greece. Austria, Denmark and H,.iion,i
decline to prosecute a child under 10
and this Is the rule also In some of the
Swiss cantons. In Germany the limit
of responsibility is fixed at 12. '