The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, September 28, 1900, Image 4

The Hood River glacier., September 28, 1900, Image 4

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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 28, 1900)

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Newspaper Page TextCONFIDENCE. POOR PLACE FOR THESPIANS. ReaiionaMe. F poverty does not render a man morbid It makes Llm gentle and kind bearted. That li what It did for Jonathan Ilarrod. In the early days we had roomed together lu col 'lege I was going to say slept together. but Jonathan seldom slept. lie smoked and drank coffee aud worked instead, and blossomed Into a winner of prizes, As Jonathan was in love as well as in debt, aud Just as prone as I to substl tnte pipes for meals when the larder ,was low, we learned to love each other during those four years with an affec tion that was Arm aud confiding, Jonathan used to advise me to fall in love, too, "I tell you, old man," he would sny, when opening a letter of familiar blue, "when you are not feel lug well, and the world grates on you like a caiiifl s-huir shirt, tin-re is null) ing so good as an old-fashioned love letter." , The writer of the old fashioned mis sives lived out West, in Ilurtod's na tive town, and, although I never met her, I came to know her almost as well us Ilarrod did, he spoke of hiv so often. And then I used to watch his face when he read her letters. They must hifve been tender and sympathetic, but withal a dash of ambition and lusplra tlon In them. No tale of village gossip could have brought that light Into Jon athan's eyes nor that (lash of color to his check. At their eonclunloti he would dream a while, perhaps, and then fall at his books aud work like mad. He showed me her picture one night blie was dark-wlth a high forehead and shadowy eyes. The mouth and chin were both well formed but rather masculine. It was a beautiful face, though not pretty. Although Ilarrod had loved the girl all his life and she him, If there be aught In the signs of the zodiac-they had a misunderstanding of some sort or other during the summer that fol lowed his graduation. When he re turned East the following autumn he was quieter than ever before, and, If possible, more gentle and sympathetic, lie and I had rooms together, where, lu lieu of other Inexpensive pastimes, we were wont to spend the evenings work ing and redding. I saw from the Ilrst that something ailed him; aud, as he no longer received the blue envelopes, lior counseled tne to lose my heart, I guessed the reason and asked no ques tions. He did not become apathetic Jonathan didn't. Ills old habit of work was stronger than ever. And now his stories began to appear occasionally in the magazines, and the dear public to recognize his name and to read what went with It. Two years had passed away before Jonathan had made even the slightest reference to this love affair of his, aud that was when he came Into my room one cheerless, gray November after noon, the picture of abject melancholy. In his hand was a crumpled piece of paper. This he placed before me on the tabic, then he went and scaled him self before the Uropluee,' where I could not see his face. The paper was a clip ping from some Inland Journal describ ing in florid terms the wedding of Miss , Inlfred Couover to one -Amos Scheu eok. Only half the article had been sent him a paragraph from an account of cousin's wedding, and" the color Increaoed, then quickly subsided "knowing Jonathan o well, I wished. ' If possible, to see him before the clip- ' plug reached him. Aud-you see, 1 ! knew you also knew him well." Her lips closed tightly for a second, then curved Into a smile. Two great tears started from beneath the drooping lashes, but were quickly Intercepted. I looked toward the place where Jon athan lay. A screen was between lilm aud the visitor, and (inly his soft res-; piration betrayed his presence I turned to Miss Conover. "Jonathan loves you," I said. "Do youJove him?" Her eyes flashed with a womanly luster, but again her lips were Arm. "For If you do," I exclaim-' ed, pulling aside the screen with a sin-, gle swift movement, "he Is here." j "Jonathan!" SdfUfc ft ; VII I cn Ulo r, T FT FS ALL LA UGH. The Father-Look here, my boy, you IN nnlv J.VtO for MInUter lit. I In (1 nm villi fiumu w ' t ' - .ilia j i,B. . . i" . ... ..,.,. I I U.l .. '"Hl-li., college term, and now you ,,, , lo "e Ariti fe Former Minister tn r..., q'. " JOKES FROM THE PENS Of va RIOUS HUMORIST $5X more. The Son-But tms is tor ujc u.. don't need. Life. i T.rMiiiti Occurring: the World Over-Sayings that Ar Cheer ful to Old or Young-Funny BeUc tlona that Ton Will Enjoy. Is very absent-minded. "ft"' Thespian Melhinks we hud hotter omit our performance at Hayville to-night. Hiis paper nays eijcs Are selling there at 5 cents a dozen und tomatoes are rotting on the vines. Chicago Inter Ocean. Fair Widow-Yes, I've made up my mind that when I, die I shall be cre mated, as my nusbanu was. Gallant Captain Dear lady, please talk about such dreadful tilings. Consider bow much better it would be, your case, to er cross out the c h. No Alternative. "That's a terrible noise In the nurs- rv. Motile " said the mistress. "What's ! the matter? Can't you keep the baby auiet?" ; "Shure, ma'am," replied Mollie, "I can't keep him quiet unless I let him B00ge; round a dollar bill to-day and 10 make a nolse."-St. Louis uioue-uemo- eentg Iast week crat HI First Celebration. This month I celebrate my twenty- fourth birthday." ..Th.fs fifiil so do I. "But I celebrate mine for the first tlme."-Heitere Welt. Writing " Wrong. "What's on hand?" asked the city editor. "I am now going," said the reporter, who had been assigned to a murder ... ,,r " nmi- story, "to write a great iuU(. ver Times. A Dro( Too Much. Iloax-What made the elevator fall? Joax-The elevator man took a drop too much.-Phlludeiphia uecoru. e5tlco ,, t 1 Ilt Ister left the cloakrnnm . ..""Hi on of the members said; ' "Did you ever talk tn ti,. .. when his uiiud has been oe, upied , Illicit nncc (' OMrl ...!! . retilv. the memhee "'"iniuey i I met him soon after til.. Mexico, and after we slioni.- k"1"5 said: "k ' 'How is your sister, Frank" " 'She Is well, I said. "The Minister's mind then rM some business fi. n,. .... ii i m... Foci for Luck. Oulzzell-Mv wife's the luckiest TOLD OVER A WAR TROPHY. ! I'll HI 1 ff i t a , 1 hen ns I left the room I looked back at Linin . and saw her kneelliiir at bin siile I The Sun fliuh f rnliliv irtitt fifl.i " - - - - - a ""I'",; hHiii iiic tuuua Brooklyn Standard L'ulon. WHAT A DINNER REPRESENTS. gun. Teresa, in Lincoln Park, Chicago, con tinues to be an attraction to citizens and strangers. The gun itself is merely an ordinary modern engine of war, such as are employed in warship arma ment, but the association of the Maria Teresa with the naval battle off Sanll- Urowth of the Dl tic-rent Viand In volve an Outlay of 300,000,(100. Recently a mau who Is fond of arith ttt.tflf, Iii.IiIk .... I.I I...1 At ..1 t.' . ' 1. . . . ...I..., muni; ii)i muni mm ne would , ago in JUIT. 1KM. mill Its ninto stoi-u llnd out how much a dinner really cost, of the prowess and skill of the Amer- lle tlrst ascertained that the dinner h , lean navy gives the gun a sort of pros was eating cost 73 cenls, presumably. ; tige which It otherwise would not imv.. He contradicted this and then made I And not only that, but it tells for Itself out Ihe following statement about the j aud for Spain that Spanish ordnance cost of that dinner. ' Is far from belnir ihoiIIhcimI in i.tt,.r.. The pepper, he said, came from 10,. ' strength or projectile-throwing power,' clipped, evidently, and this had been pasted on a hnlf-sheet of note paper. 1 read the tawdry effusion through, then I twisted It to pieces and dropped it Into the waste basket. "Jonathan, my boy," I said, going over and seating myself on the arm of his chair, "who sent you this thing?" "I do not know." Aud there was a world of sadness In his voice. "The en velope was addressed In a strange hand and not a word acouipanled It." We were both silent for a moment. Q'he logs were burning cheerily, outside tne wind was blowing a gale. Jonathan eat with his faco In his hands. "When 1 came here to you Just now," he said, "I was chilled and lonely tho day is so somber, aud I had been tramping mi over mo country, and i came ,to say good-by. I wanted to leave this lire and wait for Winifred in the next, for"- his voice went straight to my iiean-an, uiy, i love her so!" I re itarmui mm witn compassion. "You lie down here on the lounge before the lire, I commanded blni, "and stop tills broodlug." I pushed forward the couth as I spoke, and he dropped on it like an obedient child. He gave me on gratenu look, aud then, under the In fluence of the genial warmth and tho fatigue of many vigils fell fast asleep. . There are days lu the lives of us all, I fancy, when a vague aud Bubtle sense ef mystery Invests tho commonest ob jects; wln-n our minds recogulzo new qualities In common things; when the look lu the eyes of a child, the glint of sunlight In a womau's hair, the sound uf a distant churchbell, stir feelings deep within us we have never known before. That afternoon there was a white farnatlon lu tho vase on my writ ing table, and as I sat there pondering Jonathan's sorrows its perfume stole Into my brain like a sweet and potent anodyne. It conjured up visions as fair s the dreams of Dr. Faustus, and yet ami yci, more was a sense of forebod ing, a premonition of something about to occur. Whether or not I dozed I cannot sav but suddenly I was aware that some other than Jonathan was In the room aud that he was wide awake and look lug at me Intently. I raised my eyes, and there, to my luilulte surprise and astonishment, I saw standing opposite mo, across the table, a stylishly gowned young woman. ; 4 , t ' . 1 started to my feet with an apology cn my lips, but as I glanced at her face my tongue was tied and I remained silent. She was dark and with a high rorciieaii and shadowy eyes. The month find chlu were both well formed, but rather masculine. Aud she was beautiful, though not pretty, j "Miss Couover," I exclaimed. "Yes," she mswered, with a voice that was low and vlbraut, "It is I." Then, with iier brown eyes fixed on the white carnation and the color mantling her check, she continued. "I have Just arrived lu the city. Yesterday I learned that an ancient enemy of Jonathan's ihs) miles away. It grew on a bush eight feet high, which must have had a growth of at least live years. The pepper was picked green; It had to be dried In the sun, and this meant em ploying women. It took one ship and 1,000 miles of railroad to bring the pep per to the United States. The flour of which the bread was made came from Dakota; some one owned the land, and that meant the In vesting of capital, and he had also t't pay wages to working-men. The flour had to be ground, aud the building of the mill and the plant, or niachlnerv. meant more money Invested. The min i's had to be paid, coopers had to be paid for making the barrels, and, of course, the wood of which tho barrels were inado had to be cut and sawed nd shaped, aud this meant the em ployment of more men. Then the flour had to be shipped over the railroad and handled again by cartmcn before It came Into the house. The tea on the tablo came from China and tho coffee from South America. The codllsh had to bo brought from Maine. Men had to be employed to catch the fish; oilier men and women were em ployed In drying, packing aud boxing It, and it, too, bad to make a long rail road Journey. The salt came from the Indian reser vation in the northwestern part of New York State. The spices In the cake came from the spice Islands In the Indian archipelago. The canned pi-aches came from California, and they, too, represented the employment of capital 1 and labor. The little dinner represent ed, directly or Indirectly, the employ- mom 01 9uim,oihi,uuu or capital and 5, 000,0(10 Appeal. in ract, tills particular gun and lis mounting and equipment compares fa vorably with the latest Improved heavy artillery of the nations. But it Is uot so much the gun Itself tant-general In the volunteer service.; and he is now attached So the staff ol tJen. Miles. He Is a man of ability aud great unpreteutiousucss. i A few days before he donned his uni form lie went over to Fort McIIenry, Baltimore, on oftlcial business. A Wat Department clerk went along with him. ' When the two men arrived at Fort Mc IIenry, the new captain pointed to a long shell road that runs through the post. "Do you see lhat road?" asked the; captain. "Yes." 1 A Horseless Carriage. Flzzell-Humph! Mine finds some thing every day. Quizzell-That so? What? Fizzell-Fault-Detrolt Free Tress. A General Term. "Where did they go for their vaca tion?" "To the mountains." "What mountains?" "Weil, I think they are Just In the rear of their Uncle Jim Stebblus' farm house down In Southern llliuoy." Cleveland Tlaln Dealer. Right. School Teacher What little boy can "Well. I made that "whole road my- tell me where Is the home of the swal- soir. it was as tough a Job as I ever low? performed, and as bitter a period, but Bobby-I kin, please. To it did me a heap of good. " 1 was serv ing with an artillery regiment, part of which was stationed here, and one night when I was on guard the otHcer of the day crept up on me unawares and found me sittiug down on a pile of gunny sacks, neglecting my post. I got School Teacher Weil, Bobby? Bobby The home of the swallow Is the stummick.-Tlt-Bits. Solid. "Yes, I ate the cake she baked, make myself solid, you know!" "Did you succeed?" "In a seuse. I couldn't feel any sol lder If I had eaten brickbats and ce ment." Detroit Journal. Another on Chicago. The rhiladelphlan Isn't the mud on this street a trifle deep? Chicagoan (proudly) Deep? It Is the as the crowds that gather about It that a general court-nini-tl.il tor non.ut Interests the observer of men and 1 duty of post, and was sentenced to six deePeiit mud on any Paved 8treet ln tbe uiu.g. says tne Chicago Chronicle. It months In the guardhouse. Mv sen- "onu- muianapons 1 Tess. is he variety of facial ' expressions tenoe tickled the old provost sergeant which the monster cannon causes that mightily, for he wn in nn..,i c f.. I'rodig-al's Choice. "Well, dad," cried the prodigal son, flippantly, "wouldn't you better go out and kill the fatted calf now?" "Yes, I guess I would," returned the old man slowly. "One calf Is enough to keep at a Mine." Harper's Bazar. makes the study. It seems to be man's nature to enjoy whatever stirs his mar tlai spirit, and Maria Teresa exerts a powerful influence In that direction and also in refreshing the memory of events of war that transpired long ago. It Is quite common lo see two or three gray-haired men get Into a con versation about the big gun, when one will recite an incident of the civil war in which heavy ordnance played a con spicuous part. Then another remem bers Incidents of bis soldier days, and His Redeeming Quality. Jlldi?p Yon wpre liiicplti!r nn tho nnh. prisoner to build that road. I built It, lie streets aud yet you had $20 In your ...... tuitiviini ninny n million nvstor nn,.Lt.t Why Willie Stays Home. shells building It. I never find myself feeling chesty and hlgh-aud-niighty, and all that sort of thing, that I don't shut my eyes and think of this shell road over In Fort McIIenry."-Washington Star. Great Canals. Probably the' largest canal In the world a distinction of some note In these days of wonderful engineering men. Memphis Coiumerclal- llow an Indian Died. A resident of Little Uoek, who pass ed 'through tho territory of tbe Chicka saw nation recently, tells through the Washington I'ost of the execution of a young Indian for violation of the laws of his tribe. Among the Chlckasaws stealing Is punishable by death, and It seoms that this young buck had been thrice convicted of larceny. The chief of the tribe, who alone could save him refused a pardon, nnd there was noth ing to do but carry out the sentence. 'in.. ... , . i luuut-iuiiuu mau was piaceu in a wagon and driven to a graveyard Just east of th,e little village where he had been tried. He descended from the wagou and with stoical demeanor walk ed to where his grave had been freshlv dug, and Surveyed It with apparent un concern. Uhcn he knelt and prayed with a preacher who had known him from boyhood. Arising, he walked flrnily to tho head of his grave, where he took his seat upon a large stone, facing death with a courage that seem ed sublime. After saying a few words. In which he advised all young men of hlsrncetotake warning aud lead honest lives, he was blindfolded, and a second later the sharp report of a dozen Win chesters rang out, and his earthly ex istence was ended. Prisoner Yes, Jedge; I may not be as Industrious as some, y'r honor, but I mno spendthrift Xew York Weekly. None to Be Married. Tess Were there any marrying men flown at the shore? Jess Yes; it was awfully aggrava ting. Tess Aggravating? Joss Yes; there were four ministers nd two justices of the peace there. I'hiladelphia Press. SPANISn GUN IN LINCOLN PARK, CHICAGO. XI 10,000 for Mingle Fenrl. The largest price ever asked and paid for a single pearl was f 110,000, which was the value of the great Ta vernier pearl. It was originally in the posses sion of au Arabian merchant, and Mons. Tavernier traveled from Pari to Catifa with the express lnteutlon of purchasing the pearl. Although he went prepared to pav any sum between 1,000 and 100,000, he concluded that he would be able to obtain It for about 25,000. His first offer was 10,000, but after the deal had remained open for a few dnrs this had risen to 75,000. Finally the trans action was closed with 110,000, aud pearl experts state that It is a clear bar gain at that price. It is the largest and most perfect gem of Its kind known, and its luster Is said to be unrivaled. It Is exactly two Inches In length and oval-suapod. ; New Cure ftr Lock law. Dr. Roux, of the Pasteur Institute announces the discovery of an efficient cure for lockjaw. The autitetauic serum used in C.ermany would uot work tin Dr. Roux hit oa the plan of Injecting It Into the brain under the membranes. His plan has been tried with complete success on a man. Odd Numbers. The Siamese have a great horror of odd numbers, aud were never known to put live, seven, ulne or eleven windows lu a house or temple. then almost unconsciously they move together slowly to a seat under a near by tree and there fight their wars over agnin, each recounting his experiences, hair-breadth escapes aud final return to the pursuits of peace. It was this big gun that revived their memories and started the veterans to the shade of a tree. That they were unaeuuainted be fore tills wns no matter, for they were bound by ties of comradeship, aud the first connection of the great cannon with events of a third of. a century ago was enough. No formal Introduction was needed, nor did it matter In the least If one had worn the blue aud the other the gray; It was tho comrade ship which battlefields create and It needed only this lone trophy gun to start Its fires aglow. Perhaps the most Interesting visitors of the big gun are children. It Is no tlced that they feel as though they were In the presence of something dreadful, and the four mortars hard by, each weighing more than 17,000 pounds and capable of throwing a shell of more than 1,000 pounds' weight, only Increases the awe of the youngsters, Children nearly always talk In a low voice while there and move about In pairs or in groups. They seem to catch the meaning of the gun nnd mortars and what they were made for. "This can non Is about as awe-inspiring to cliil dren as a graveyard," said a bystander as a little group walked around the gun, their eyes wide open. There Is a class of people who visit the mortars and the big gun and find Just the kind of inspiration they want. They are youug meu wJho arc ambitiou to be soldiers aud "face the canuon's mouth." Their Imagination is whetted until they can see themselves sweeping across neitts and charging over hills. and the war machinery there arouses all the martial spirit lu them. They amuse veterans of the battlefield, but for all that "the big gun and the mon ster mortars teach them a lesson that Is altogether wholesome." as an old soldier of many campaigns put It. Then there are the peace-at-auy-prlee visitor. The gun aud the mortars to him are fiends, fiends from the uuder world Incarnated iu life-destroying agencies agencies that destrov iu au ger. "That guu Is a devil in steel, and Its only business iu the world Is to deal leath and destruction." said he to the group he was with, and he worked him self into a frenzy of anger over the aw fulness of sentiments other than those of peace and good-will toward men. feats la the Chenab Irrigation Canal In the Northwest provinces of India Its breadth Is 200 feet, with a main channel some 450 miles loug, while the principal branches have an aggregate length of 2,000 miles, and the village branches will extend, when completed some 4.000 miles additional. But, apart from irrigation, the longest canal In the world Is that which extends from the frontier of China to St. Petersburg nnd is 4,472 miles in length. The Ben gal Canal, connecting with the River Ganges, is 000 miles long, and In all India there are 14,000 miles of canals Irrigating 8,000,000 of acres. Not Surprised. "Yes," said the man with the bored expression, "I'll admit the truth of ev ery word you say about the weather being oppressively hot. But I don't see the use of making it a topic of con versation." "Why, It Is such remarkable weather that I couldn't help mentioning it." "There Is a point on which I beg to disagree with you. It Is not remark able weather. I have never In all my life known an August when It was not oppressively hot."-Washington Star. rTTTTHTi TH f'xl1!!!!1' Mother Why don't you go out. WI1 He, and play with Sammy Jones? Millie I played with Sammy Jones yesterday, and I don't s'pose he's well enough yet to get out.-Inter Ocean. A Habit of His. "SI," yelled the neighbor' from the road, "your wife has jlst run off with Bill Johnson." sue nez, uez she?" answered the farmer lu the field; "wall, Bill allays Y uz a-uorrerin trouble. Git ap there!" Indianapolis Press. New Product for Hena. kind of Good Alarm Clock, Employer I congratulate you on that new baby of yours, Higgins. Higgins-Thank you, sir. Employer-And I have no doubt thai hereafter you will be waked up early enough mornings to get to the office every day on time.-Sonierville Journal Another Woman Joke. "Our women's base-ball club went to pieces." "Game too exhausting?" "No, but we couldn't find a ladv um pire who would give a decision and stick to it."-Detroit Free Press. Too True. "Youngling is going to marrv th widow Henpeck." "Why, she's twice as old ns he is." uit, well, he'll age fast enoturli after the wedding. "-Brooklyn T.ife love Summer Boarder What lowhs are these? Farmer Landlord-riymouth Rocks. oummer Boarder-Oh, kind tt they? Knew Her Hab't. "That typewriter girl isn't in with anybody around this office." now do you know?" 'Why, when she gets too warm ha takes her collar off." Journal. "Sirs. Wales and Dainrhotm When In the country the r.- ucess of 1 th.n , ?, 0h' ye They're Wales delights In making mSTZfSZtS!.? ,,",a iicuBuno. au amusing and 1 - . true story has just leaked out about one i to Give w,. of these Impromptu excursions at Sand-! "nave J'0l,r summer vacation plans riugham. Her royal highness u-m. ,i.. matured vet. Billy?" two princesses, had driven a long dis-! "0n- ' but they had to be shie tauce from home iu her favorite ponv , tracked 0,1 wit of some summer iuuWi urew near they were "ules luut also matured." Iudkiunn clan tn tint 1111 of a ... li T.t.....,.,i c 1 1' " I'lClUreSUlle V 11'lrra iuu. Tho landlord had his suspicious as to who his guests were, and after lunch had beeu served brought the vis .w.o ui. uuereupon the princess Useful. Fair painter-I hope you don't ,ni.i my sketching in your field? 1-armer Lord, no, missle! Ym. l-.. the birds off the peas better'n a' ordin. ary scarecrow. Tit-Bits. set at prospective An Kay One. Great Actor-I propose making a fare- " ,uur r e provinces. What Dlav not to be outdoue, made the f 0 o-T i T -,u",uvlse' Good of Its Kind. "What sort of a table do thev your nouse.'" asked the boarder. "Table of waits and measures" c,m Asbury Peppers in reply, "rim ,.. A . rer 8Uort- -London to some business for five then he said "'How Is your sister, l'railk as before, I replied that she ' K Five minutes later he rulsed his, from some papers and remarked " 'Oh, Frank, how Is your ,st" . thought the conversation was bcCMI rather monotonous, and to chanJ i n auswered that she was very m " 'Bless me! you don't say bo! I sorry to hear it, Frank.' ' ,tl 1 Itk turn in. V t,- . anntlini flvo n,lm,( ., , W -.v um, ;, he didn't turn around and say: "'Frank, how Is your sister? first I thought he was guying me J looking at him sharply, 1 realized tt he had forgotten tho conversation w I answered sadly, 'She Is dead' ' '"Why man, you don't mean it" k. exclaimed, jumping from his SMt'.! extending his hand In a most gyffiD, thetlc manner, adding: 'That is drel! ful. When did It happen? Tell in,n about It.' " 'Why,' I replied, 'I killed her in. . , Tl'l T 1 Ju - " cu 1 cauie in your offlce I toU you she was well twice; then I told yoa she was very 111 and that didn't 1 press you. So, for your benefit 1 hav. Just killed her.' ' "The old man looked at nie for a mo. uieui uuu uieu rcpiieu: "'You must pardon me, Frank, was thinking about these papers." . HIPPOPOTAMI DISAPPEARING, The Last One in Natal Has Been oiuuKmereu. The last hippopotamus has slaughtered In Natal. All the larger and more curious creatures are dlsap. liarirltid. a net 41. n4 .i.i ...-t, . , ...... D ,uol i,lnl luls wj oe j notonous world, at any rate for natur alists, in, another century. Not so Bgo the hippopotamus hauutcd the rivers of Cape Colony and Natal, ami "lake cow bacon," us the salted layer Of meat underlying the hide is called, was a favorite dish, but now this hug creature has disappeared from both countries. The hunter has been Its en emy for many a century, but the rifle is a far more deadly weapon than the assegai. The animal .had an appetite propor tional to Its bulk and can accommodate a great deal of vegetable produce. Be sides this, It Is a wasteful feeder, tramping down aud tearing up much more than it consumes, and It prefers cultivated plants to wild vegetation. That has proved its doom in Natal. One herd wns left at Seacow lake, a coast lagoon near Durban, and was protected by the government. It con sisted of parents and a family of five. Unfortunately these, like youug people all the world over, loved "sweeties," and made nocturnal raids on the neigh boring sugar cane plantations. Th owners petitioned the government, a warrant of execution was granted and the parental bull, who must have been nearly 50 years old, was "the last to fall, and will henceforth be ouly au "ft hibit" at the Durban museum. So the strange creatures of the earth disappear before the white man, the great destroyer. The hippopotamus, the elephant, and the giraffe, to speak only of Africa, with many kinds of antelope, are rapidly diminishing In numbers. London Standard. Orderina by the Car-.r ' Diner (to restaurant waltei-iv.. V,o,-Q t .11 ' ' t- j w mi uiuuer A Curious rtli.,? ! ,,?ia"CJPhot-Pher. The kiwi halls from Xor f..,..., : t,., .1 J ,. , h? dld you stewedlambhashbakedandfried and is a rare bird. U is vevtcnrJ f ge puddingmilkteaaudcoftVe less, and not a sk-u f ni,i, ... I . . , I 1Uat 1 mlht cat-'h your Dinner-Give me the ..": - .. wx irnn ura r i ivv i n tr oistaim.iI,... . i . . protects the eyes. This gives the t-u i v tZ 7 , ' ,,lut W1 I ask- Attn, sixth, eightei enmtn.i i Jir i. .. t . be 'w . l?r daughter's hand.-Klie- syllables.-Tlt.mt. r.iwl.. U n..tt. I " Walter Roast beeffrlcast..i.i...... '.uiiiien pota third, a comical look. It is almost -i,..n nocturnal lu Its habits. Like the owl of the north the setting of the sun means the beginning of life to them pi , i . ... . JU ultv uop auout iiKc rabbits. The are really the clowns of the fowl world Moving. Stairways. Two types of moving stairways for the Mauhattan Elevated stations in Xew York City are to be put on ti-ti i shortly. One is a ramp consisting r :m endless rubber baud running over drums, ln the other tvne reimT...r ct.t. will take the place of the nearly smooth incline, so that a passenger al- ; ways stands on a level surface. s all Can't Suit 'Km. "When he hustles they say it' for effect." "Yes." "And when he quiets down they sav he's posing."-Cleveland Plaiu Dealer. Different. "Dawdler plays golf so well he ought to be a professional." "Yes, 1 suggested it to him, but he says notliiug would induce him to work so hard iu hot weather." Virty Little Thin. r iit-iiu neryoooy says the It is a rare man who doesn't do fool things every day. A One-Man Road. Not a Curve tor 211 Miles, The longest stretch of railway with out a curve is 211 miles, from Rnen., Ay res to the foot of the Andes, on the new Argentine Pacific Hallway. baby Picking Pockets with Too. The Oauchos, or dweller t .in tensive plains of Buenos a... marvelously dexterous with both hand and feet. Many of them have ,.Z .Z through long practice such ski 1," using their toes as if thev W.J In that they can fling the lasso h S 8 Pick pockets with thm SSSomed T ago a Frenchman who wa, I , me one of the rivers of warned to be on his gnard aga in'f " light-fingered natives, net V kept a vigilant watch o Xn V .ous, but nevertheless one daj wE?" attent on was ,.iai- nen hk. t looks bke you, doesn't that Dleaspv,..,v float a wily o,.m. "leleu n his , Air. Newpop-Oh. I don't know; out I catelj inserting his W Trt Md del1" tell you what, I'm glad nobody thinks Frenchman's hooks and Sft,racted of saying I look like the bahv s.i -bles fmm w. .ua"doth valua- rd aud Times. ' au"' i s,Hnt "".-Boston Tran- Not Hcndq Darters. "What did her father say?" tie satu he couldn't understand why If fl wmmiii tv-.intd .a ,i-.t- . t. .. Woi, ...... . - .v. me irem- ": ;T.;u...u."uo vu? 10 xen.:l tPs oa her husband, she should th, rnZ Tat n WiVrmy : littlest dress when she I cauie to him-all his property was to f the I nited States was recently ,.. kH,s ,t Nothing s1kHs the effec-t of bis wife's name."-Clevelaud P?ato ftled a captain aud assistant adju- .ara quk-ker thm wnwotu Dealer. . . " Larger the Better. . The wrasses, thiek-liPl, rocky 8hores differ frn" a fish in that th. 7 1L -fr0ra " the better they are adarn , ey are I They grow to W fd near otser Bad Spelling. To spell badly is no longer consid ered particularly Illiterate that Is to say, it does not betoken a want of ed ucation. An eminent lawyer, who Is considered oue of the most "braiuy" men of his time, said recently that un til he was married he had always spell ed husband with an 1 after the u, and a noted physician when taking his ex aminations "at the medical college tripped up ou "medicine." Another funny case was that of a young mm who, having been graduated with th highest honors from his university, sent out cards, which he had written per sonally, saying that he had formed a bulslness" partnership with Mr. So- and-So. The fact of the matter is that spelling is so neglected in the curri culum of schools and colleges nowa days that It Is a hlt-or-miss kind of ac complishment. Those who have ac curacy and "ear" remember the vari ous combinations, and others fall utter- ' ly to retain the Impression made while reading or studying, the provision made In modern boys' schools and colleges to train the sense of sound and its expres sion being of little account. " Dream of a Volunteer. When I come home from the" Philippic I want no speeches made, No jeweled sword nor loving cup, No banquet nor parade; But just a table set for two, A good, old-fashioned feast, With flaky shortcake, light and white Two dozen at the least. When I come home from the Philippines T want some peach preserves; , A nutmeg-sprinkled custard pie Would soothe my shattered nerves And don't forget the apple sauce, Nor hot molassps enlto. - With lots of ginser in it. too. Like mother used to make. When I come home from the Philippine! I want a home-made meal; The kiud that leaves no after taste Of smoke and fire nnil steel. So have it ready, with my chair - wusr wnere it used to be, And I'll hane un my army hat ' And sit right down to tea. -Leslie's WTeek!y. . The Roman Monta da Pieta. The most lenient uawnbroker's shop In the world is said to be the Monta d Pieta, at Rome, which has existed ever since 1585. It loans from ?3 to 5 upon good security without demanding in terest; but 2 per cent per annum i charged upon all greater sums. The wreckless sea captain Is ta most popular with sailors. ;