ON THITHER COAST.
Sew Gold Field on the Siberian Shore
Will Bo Opened to Ameri
can Hlneri.
New gold fields rivaling in richness
the deposits of Cape Nome will be
opened to American miners, if the ex
pectations of the members of the Rus
sian expedition, which arrived in New
York on the Campania, on its way to
Northeastern Siberia, are fulfilled.
Vladimir Wonlarlarsky, a colonel of
the Russian Imperial Guard, obtained
the contusion of the Siberian tract
which the expedition is to examine.
' There were more than 40 applicants for
the grant, which had been songht with
eagerness since the discovery of gold on
the American side of Behring sen. By
means of conrt influence, Wonlarlarsky
carried off the prize. He formed a
cflmpany in Russia, which planned the
present expedition, headed by A. Bog
danovitch, a Russian engineer. It ir
understood that a subsidary company
has been formed in England in con
nection with the concesHion, but sec
recy is maintained in regard to the
English and American interests.
Miners who have visited the Siberian
coast by stealth have reported that it it
practically the same as the Nome coast,
cormirting of a strip of beach, behind
which lies a tundra, or belt of gold
bearing sand. Many companies have
been formed to work dredges and pumps
off the coast of Cape Nome, in order to
draw ud the oreoioos sand where it
reaches the beacb. It is expected that
the operation of these appliances will
be prevented by the beach miners, and
that apparatus in which large capital
bus been invested will be idle, unless
now fields ar opened to it. If the ex
pedition to Siberia, finds what it ex
pects, the company will invite pumps
and dredges to cross to the Mberian
shore and operate there upon payment
of a royalty.
Ilooley, the English promoter, has
nothing to do with the plan. George
D. Roberts, who is a veteran California
miner, will be a member of the explor
ins party. Mr. Roberts has made
study of gold deposits in sea sands, and
has a plan for A trading the gold from
the frozen tundra. The expedition will
sail from San Francisco about June 1,
after the Russians have conferred with
the Russian minister at Washington.
It will return abont November 1, and
expects then to make a complete report
of the possibilities of the region.
Mr. Roberts said today that, from
information' he had received, the de
posit of gold on the Siberian coast
promised to be the most valuable ever
discovered. No attempt will be made
to work the tundra'this year, but the
party hopes to be able to make some
contracts with American owners of
pumps and dredges.
Northwest Notes.
The Oregon Ilopgrowers' Association
last week sold 670 bales of hops.
A telephone exchange with 20 sub
scribers is to be established in Canyon
City, Or.
The Umatilla Indians have invited
the Nex Perces, of Idaho, to join thera
in a" Fourth of Jnly celebration that
will last about a week.
The Shamokawa, Wash., creamery is
now turning out 175 pounds of gilt edge
butter daily. It finds a rdy market
in Portland at top-notch prices.
The new creamery located at Nor
way, Or., has commenced operations.
The plant is complete in every respect
and is in charge of a competent man
ager. Camas Prairie, southeast from Hepp
ner, Or., is a great dairy region, and
800 cows are being milked there. The
creameries pay 82 to 83 oents per 100
pounds for milk.
The original townsite of Prairie
City, Or., was 80 acres. A land
company has just platted additions to
the extent of 3114 acres, providing lib
erally for depot grounds, repair shops,
etc.
Asotin, Wash., will soon have a
bank, arrangements having been made
to establish such an enterprise there by
E. J. and V, L. Thompson, recently of
Wisconsin. The bank will be organ
ized under the state banking laws and
will begin with a paid in capital of
125,000.
The Anti-Saloon Leagut, at Colfax,
Wash., has a membership of about 8i,
persons, who are antagonistic to the
saloon, and more especially to such as
may violate the liqnor selling laws.
Active work is to be begun by the
organization against the liquor trafllo
in tho near future.
Grant connty offered a reward of
$450 for the recapture of Al Keeton,
held for murder, and William Wallace,
charged with horse stealing, and it was
divided equally between William By
ram and Ray Short, of Canyon City;
Ed Luce and liamp Officer, of John
Day, and W. C. Gibbs, of Susanville.
G. W. Kiger lias a contract from the
government to furnish 2,000 tons of
rock to be placed behind the spur dikes
recently constructed in Tillamook bay.
As it is seen that the dikes are doing
the work for which they were intended,
the rock is for the purpose of making
them permanent. Mr. Kiger will re
ceive $1 a ton for the rock.
Failing to get all the saw timber
needed into the river last winter, be
cause of lack of snow, William Codd,
the Colfax sawmill owner, has deter
mined to haul the necessary logs to
water on wheels. An outfit of 10 or
1 2 big teams was sent into the woods
on the upper Palouse river for this pur
pose. The necessary feed and supplies
were taken from Colfax.. This will be
a rather costly method of floating saw
logs, but the lumber demand is good
aud it is found necessary in order to
meet the calls.
A hardware man of Independence,
Or., sold nin incubators and nine
brooders recently, and the Inference is
drawn that chickens will be numerous
in that market this year.
John 8. Ilerrin, who owns one of the
finest bands of sheep in the Rogue river
valley, numbering 2,600 head of the
French merino breed, is engaged iu
hearing, having a fore of six men.
He has introduced a ' alioep shearing
machine, run by footpower, the three
clippers being the first in this section.
They take off more wool than the old
hears and do a humane Job.
BRADSTREET'S REPORT.
Wheat Blgher oa CnfaYorable
C'op
Reports.
Braditrett's says: Continued dull
ness in many branches and a further
shading in several staple lines consti
tute the leading features in the busi
ness situation this week. The weak
ness of prices is displayed in lower quo
tations for corn, pork, butter, cheese,
wool and cotton among the great agri
cultural products and petroleum and
lead among the mineral products.
Wheat is slightly higher, partly owing
to less favorable crop reports here and
abroad. Continued dryness in the
Northwest has given the spring wheat
situation a less satisfactory appearance
and there is little improvement noted
in the winter wheat sections of the
central west. It is doubtful, however,
if the dry weather has as yet really
affected the spring wheat, the chief
complaint coming from the lumber in
terests, which reK)rt low streams inter
ferring with the forwarding of supplies.
The industrial situation is, on the
whole, rather muth better than for
some time past, in that new disturb
ances are fewer and some old ones have
been settled. But practical tie-ups in
Chicago are still unbroken. At St.
Louis all kinds of business have been
hurt by the strike of street railway
employes, and uncertainty at other
cities, particularly in Die building
trade, has had an unsettling effect
upon lumber.
Wheat, including flour, shipments
for the week aggregate 5,178,422 bush
els, against 3,480,574 bushels last week.
Business failures in the United States
for the past week number 155, as com
pared with 174 last week. Failures in
the Dominion of Canada are slightly
more numerous, numbering 24 for the
past week, againstl9 last week.
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Seattle Markets.
Onions, $9.
Lettuce, hothouse, 40 45c doz.
Potatoes, $1617; $1718.
Beets, per sack, 50 60c.
Turnips, per sack, 4060o.
Carrots, per sack, $1.
Parsnips, per sack, 60 75c.
Cauliflower, California 85 90c.
Strawberries $2.25per case.
" Celery 40 60o per doz.
Cabbage, native and California,
1. 00 1.25 per 100 pounds.
Apples, $2.002.75; $3.003.50.
Prunes, 60o per box.
Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c;
dairy, 1722c; ranch, 1617o pound.
Eggs 18c.
Cheese rrg-iSc.
Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c;
spring, $5.
Hay Fnget Sound timothy, $11.00
12.00; choice Eastern Washington
timothy, $18.00 19.00
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23;
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
$20.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25;
blended straights, $3.00; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra
ham, per barrel, .$3.00; whole wheat
flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $13.00;
shorts, per ton, $14.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton;
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton, $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef
steers, price 8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 8c; trimmed, 9e; veal, 8)g
10c. v
Hams Large, 13c; small, 13. 4;
breakfast bacon, 12)c; dry salt sides,
8c.
Portland Market.
Wheat Walla Walla. 61 52c;
Valley, 52c; Bluestem, 54o per bushel.
Flour Best grades, $3.00; graham,
$3.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 86c; choice
gray, 83o per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $14 14.50;
brewing, $16.00 16.60 per ton.
Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid
dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per
ton.
Hay Timothy, $9 11; clover, $7
f.6i); Oregon wild hay, $67 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 80 85c;
seconds, 45u; dairy, 2580o;
store, 22i25o.
Eggs 13o per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c;
Young America, 14c; new cheese 10c
per pound.
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $4.00
4.60 per dozen; bens, $5.00; springs,
$3.603.60; geese, $0. 60 (S 8.00 for old;
$1.6036.50; ducks, $6.007.00 per
dozen; turkeys, live, 1415o per
pound.
Potatoes 4065oper sack; sweets,
I 3 40 per pound.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c;
per sack; garlic, 7o per pound; cab
bage, l.Ho per pound; parsnips, 76;
unions, 3c per pound; carrots, 50c.
Hops 2 80 per pound
Wool Valley, 1213o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 27
lOo per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, 8?4'c; dressed mutton, 7
JJbC per pound; lambs, 6 luC
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.50; dressed,
f5. 00 (356. 50 per 100 pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $4.00 4. 50;
cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 6
7?4 0 per pound.
Veal Large, Qi$THc, small, 8
?sO per pound.
Tallow 5fi)j'c; No. 3 and grease,
S.W 40 per pound.
San Franeiteo Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 1416oper
pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; Val
ley, 2023c; Northern, 1012o.
Hops 1899 crop, ll18o per
pound.
Butter Fancy creamery 1717,St'c;
do seconds, 1616e; fancy dairy,
16c; do seconds, 14 loo per pound.
Eggs Store, 15o; fancy ranch,
I7c
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00
0.00; bran, $13.50 13.50.
k t'
Hay-Wheat$6.509.50;wheatanMf.
oat Id.00c49.00; best barley $5.00v:
7.00; alfalfa, $5.006.50 per to
straw, 2540c per bale.
r hl p
Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ort,
gon Burbanks, 70c$1.00; river Bui.
banks, 407oc; Salinas Burbankb
80c 1.10 per sack. I
Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencif
$3.753.25; Mexican limes, $4.00tf
6.00; California lemons 75c$1.5c
do ohoice $l.753.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50(
,ou per ouncn; pineapples, notv
inal; Persian dates, 6 6. So per
pound.
HOUSE FOR PIGEONS.
FLOCKS SHOULD HAVE A HOME
OF THEIR OWN.
4. Large Number of the Birds Mar
Be Kept in One Home if It la Ar
ranged in the Proper Manner Cats
Their Foe.
Cats are too fond of pigeons to be
permitted to get anywhere near them,
and In the arrangement of a bouse for
these birds care Is to be taken that
these animals cannot disturb them.
I 'or a small flock a small bouse may
be made round or with eight sides,
and with three or four floors. Each
side will have a door for the pigeons
to enter, and this bouse Is set on a
pole firmly placed In the ground and
eight feet high or so, and having two
cross bars safely fitted to it so that a
ladder may be used to get up to the
XTERion or no ion noes.
bouse. This will do for a dozen birds,
half males and half females, for pig
eons pair, and each pair must have its
own nest
For larger flocks a house may be
made on the top of a barn, and If the
barn has a cupola on top of It, this la
the very thing. Twenty, or even forty
pigeons may be kept In such a place,
but It will be necessnry to have a trap
door at the bottom which must be care
fully closed every time the house is
left, after having been visited.
But larger flocks may have to be
provided for, and a small flock will
soon become a large one, for although
these birds have only two young ones
In the nest, yet they will nest several
times In the year, and the young ones
soon go to keeping bouse for them
selves.
A large number of pigeons may be
kept in one house If It Is arranged In a
proper manner. And pigeons If left to
themselves will soon bring their owner
Into trouble, for they are apt to go on
to neighbors' newly sown fields, and
gather up the seed with much Indus
try. This, however, Is easily prevent
ed, for these birds love to stay about
their home, and If they are regularly
fed they will not wander away after
food. But If it la thought that the
home fields may be Injured by the
birds, It may be said that where pig
eons have had full opportunity to run
over wheat or oat fields (or peas, of
which they are extremely fond), yet
the seed they eat Is well spent on them,
for as a rule the thinning of the seed
will Increase the crop, so that the yield
at harvest time is often much larger
than It would have been but for the
pigeons thinning out the seed. If the
pigeon house Is kept at the barn, or on
It, the birds will not wander away to
the fields, unless to one quite close to
them. A house large enough for a
hundred pigeons Is shown In the draw
ings, both the outside and Inside of it
The house Is ten by eight feet and the
walls are eight feet high. The ar
rangement of the Inside Is shown in
figure 2. The nest boxes are placed
on shelves fastened to the sides of the
house, and a roosting platform Is made
In front of the shelves. The shelves are
supported by props, and the little doors
on the outside open on to them. There
Is a box In the house in which food
Is kept Tor use In stormy weather when
the birds do not wish to go out
To get a good view of the Inside of
the house, bend one band so as to make
a short of tube to look through, and
use one eye only, shutting the other.
This makes the perspective very plain,
and shows just bow the house wonld
look If one were In It
Of course these birds, like all others,
must be kept very clean, and the house
ihould be swept and sanded twice a
week. It will be the least trouble to do
't every day, when a few minutes will
lufflce to do the work. The floor should
be sanded after every sweeping, and
the nests should be dusted with a mix
ture of sand and fine gravel, wood ash
es and sulphur. There will be no trou
ble with vermin If thorough cleanliness
Is observed and above all things the
sweepings of the bouse should be dls
posed or sareiy in trie Darnyard or
away from the house, for there Is noth-
INTERIOR OF no EON HOUSB.
mg more likely to harbor lice or fleas
tnd supply a breeding-place for them,
ban the sweepings of the house.
The nest boxes are each four feet
long, nine Inches wide, six Inches high
In the front, and ten Inches In the rear.
They are divided by partitions luto Ave
apartments, each having a separate en
trance, which Is four and a half Inches
high, and three wide. The picture
shows only one side of the house, the
other side Is fitted In precisely the same
way, and the ends may be occupied by
nests as the stock increases. The two
e.l-m Ajfta-rootA., tdJf ..tlA
' he
,1 -n ki .7 lMt bom bim
" -u TS ins reelings
JvM"i uuiuviiae. vue snouiu not
overlook the spiritual side.
meal without Its cheerful greeting and
kludly weather talk. Not even if he
would, could he be left out of those'
genial discussions begluning witn.
"See by the paper we're goiug to bave
No one ever feels neglected In ar
Milling bouse. No one ever baa
try markets and at the country hotels
and boarding houses, so that while
much pleasure and amusement may be
enjoyed, quite a little money may be
made as well. But we may be sure
that this result will not happen unless
the right attention is given, and this
Includes regular feeding, and watering,
the right kind of food, especial cleanli
ness in the house, and protection from
cats and winged enemies.
MISTAKE OF A NEWSAGENT.
Hia Bucolic-Looking Customer Waa a
Chicago Detective in Diagulee.
When the west-bound New York spe
cial on the Michigan Central stopped
at Dowaglac, Mich., last Wednesday
an elderly man, who possessed all the
outward characteristics of a country
man, boarded the train and took a seat
in the smoker. lie announced in a loud
voice to the traveling man across the
aisle that be was coming to Chicago to
see bis boy. He also gave out the in
formation that this was his first trip to
the city.
The news agent beard him and gave
the wink f,o the commercial traveler.
It had been a bad trip for the agent
and he expected to unload a good share
of bis stock on the man from Dowa
glac. He tried unsuccessfully to sell
him maps, views of Chicago, photo
graphs of celebrities, and other things.
The countryman's purse remained
closed.
Presently the wise butcher passed
down the aisle with a basket of apples
on his arm. He stopped before the
Dowaglac man's seat leaned over, and
said, loud enough to be heard from one
end of tho car to the other. "Apples,
three for a cent" and passed on. Now,
as a matter of fact his apples were
selling at the rate of three for a dime,
and everybody knew it His offer to
the "yeoman" was unnoticed apparent
ly by that party.
In a few minutes the agent returned
from bis trip through the train, and
the countryman beckoned to bim.
"Gi'me six apples," be said, and held
out his hands to receive them.
"All right; three for a dime," the
butcher said, as he took six Northern
spies from his basket and dropped
them Into the passenger's lap.
"Now, young feller," said the Do
waglac man, "when you pranced
through here a minute ago you offered
the fruit to me three for a cent. Here's
2 cents for six. Now, run along and
be good."
"No, you don't "
But the agent was Interrupted by the
loud shouts cf the other passengers,
and retreated to the baggage car.
And George Tousley. the Chicago de
tective, who had been In Dowaglac on
business, divided bis six apples with
the commercial traveler. Chicago In
ter Ocean.
A CUBAN BEAUTY.
Senora Abren Is Rich, Charming, Dem
ocratic and a Widow.
Senor Rosa Abrue Is the richest and
probably the most beautiful woman In
In Uncle Sam's new possessions. She
Is the queen of Cuba society and is a
"Cuba llbre" democrat from the crown
of her head to the tip of her pearl-encrusted
slipper. And she Is a widow.
She is possessed of a plantation near
Havana covering an area of 20,000
SKNORA. ROSA ABREU.
acres under perfect cultivation devot
ed to coffee growing. Her income, as
may be imagined, is enormous. During
the Cuban-Spanish war her plantation
was idle, most of her 500 workmen
having gone to the front But the
patriotic beauty paid every one hla
wages all for the good of her coun
try's cause. This charming woman
lives In a magnificent mansion at
Cerro, a pretty little suburb of Ha
vana. Her drawing-rooms are noted
for their splendor and delusiveness,
and officers of the army and navy vie
with one another for her favor. But as
yet she is heart whole, and, It is freely
said, she Is by no means unwilling to
change her condition in life when she
can find a man who will realize her
ideal. She Is especially fond of Amer
icans because, she says, Americans
"can achieve great deeds," while
Cubans and Spaniards can only sigh
and play upon a mandolin or guitar.
Stand t p to Fit Shoe.
"Feople would find less difficulty with
ready-made shoes," said the experi
enced salesman, "if they would stand
up to fit them on Instead of sitting
down. Nine persons out of ten, partic
ularly women, want a comfortable
chair while they are fitting a Bhoe, and
It Is with the greatest difficulty you
can get thera to stand for a few min
utes even after the shoe is fitted. Then,
when they bctin walking about they
wonder why the shoes are not so com
fortable as they were at first trial. A
woman's foot Is considerably smaller
when she sits In a chair than when she
walks about. Exercise brines a larcer
quantity of blood into the feet and they
swell appreciably. The muscles also
require certain space. In buying shoes
this fact should be borne In mind."
A Legitimate Business.
From the district court at the national
capitol comes the judgment that the
sale of newspapers on the streets Is a
legitimate business, and that newsboys
have a right to enter street cars and
sell papers to passengers, provided they
behave themselves and leave the car
when their business Is finished. One
newsboy was forcibly ejected from a
car In Washington some time ago, and
had a leg crushed by a car running on
the other track. He has just obtained
an award of five thousand dollars dam
ages from a jury, with instructions to
tie above affect.
RAISING OF BELGIAN HARES.
A New Industry In Southern California
That U Proving ProBtable.
It is not difficult to become a Bel
gian hare fancier; all one has to do is
to get a pair of bares. To the inquir
ing skeptic the only objectionable fea
ture of the fad that now dominates
Southern California is the dreadful
possibility of the industry.
One of the foremost breeders of Los
Angeles has made a table of calcula
tions showing that if there were no in
terference one pair of rabbits in five
years' time would have 5,000,000,000,
000 descendants. Fortunately, how
ever, the butcher and the furrier form
an interference to the outcome of this
calculation, else humanity would be
shoved off the globe and this earth be
come one vaist hutch.
It is this extraordinary willingness
of the little creatures to increase and
multiply that provides the largo profits
made in their breeding. In and about
Los Angeles there are now ovei 60C
"rabbitries," as they are called, each
of which contain from 50 to 500 head
of valuable stock; a careful estimate
puts the number of high grade rabbitt
in Southern California at 300,000.
The occupation is the subject 0)
newspaper jest and topical song hu
morist, and in many respects partakes
in a spectacular manner of the craze
for town lots which swept over South
ern California in 1887 like a financial
sirocco. The hare faddists, however,
claim with reason that there is no
speculative feature about their occupa
tion and that there can be no danger ol
disaster. Hares can be eaten and are
eagerly-sought for as an article of food;
their pelts are of value, bringing from
25 cents to several dollars each, accord
ing to quality. These in the hands ol
skillful farriers make sealskin garment!
and muffs almost as beautiful as the
real thing. In the city markets the
flesh of these creatures is as surely
fonnd as the roast of beef or the leg oi
mutton. It is very popular and the
tourist is sure to demand it when he
hears encomiums of it uttered by
gourmets.
It is from the demand for blooded
stock that most of the money comes.
The services of high grade bocks bring
their owners in as much as $4,000 a
year. And the aristocratic does are
even more profitable. Here is the case
of one that was shown at the recent
Hare Exposition of Los Angeles. She
is named Red Biding Hood, and her
owner refused a cash offer of $1,500
for her. This seems like a fabulous
price for a rabbit, but the declination
of the offer can be more readily under
stood when it is stated that the owner
obtains an income from this doe alone
of $3,000 to $3,500 a year by the sale
of her progedy. These figures make
the rabbit about the only creature in
the world worth its weight in gold.
While the industry has only been
seriously taken up for a little over a
year, experts say that there was at
least half a million dollars' worth oi
the stock on show at Hazard's pavilion;
by the time the next show is held it
is safe to state that the value of the
stock will be three times that amount.
It is difficult to get any average state
ment of profits from the business, fox
it is too young, and those that follow
it have not got the experience that in
sures an evenness of income. It can
be seen at once, however, that there
must be a good profit nnder even ad
verse circumstances, and ordinarily a
large return on the investment. The
capital required is almost nothing. A
pair of Belgian hares, a dry goods box
for a hutch, and a city lot can produce
enough feed for the stock. The pelts
bring from 25 cents to a dollar eaoh,
while the carcass for meat will bring
from 50 cents to 75 cents, and for very
large, fat creatures even a dollar. As
a doe will have from eight to 15 at a
litter five or six times a year, the prob
lem of making money resolves itself
simply into the provision of sufficient
space for the youngsters to frisk about
in.
The absence of hard work, the neces
sary neatness and cleanliness and the
ease with which one can engage in the
business have of course attracted
women, so it is thought that fully half
of the rabbitries of this locality are in
the hands of women; and the most
striking cases of success are among that
sex.
Dr. Elmer Piatt, general manager of
the American Breeders of Belgian
Hares, considers that the industry is
just in its infancy. "A new feature
that our organization intends to take
up," he said recently, "will be the
canning of hare meat and the tanning
of their hides. In both of these
branches there is good money to be
made in fact, the possibilities of the
business are just beginning to be ap
preciated. The industry has passed
the fad stage and now has assumed the
proportions of an important commercial
factor."
The Belgian hare show vt ill be an
annual feature in Los Angeles, and
will be held in San Francisco, Seattle,
New York, Chicago, St Paul and other
places.
f amily Resemblance.
A young gentleman took his little
sister with him while caliini; the other
evening at a house where he is a regu
lar visitor. ine uttie girl made her-
self quite at home, showing great fond
ness for one of the young ladies, hug
ging her heartily.
"How very affectionate she is!" said
the lady of the house.
"Yes; so like her brother!" re-
speeded the young lady, nnthinkingly.
Buffalo Courier,
LET US ALL LADGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
RIOUS HUMORISTS.
Pleasant Incident Occurring the.
World Ovr-Sy lngs that Are Ckssr
fol to Old or Toung-Fuunj Salec
tiaa that to Will Enjoy.
But I cannot engage you as a house
maid when you tell me yourself that
my friend across the street discharged
you for eavesdropping."
"But the temptation was so great.
You see, you don't know what It was I
heard."
"On second thought I will employ
you. Run and take off your hat" New
York World.
Went Too Far.
Jilted lover Why, why do you give
me up. Marguerite? Do I not carry out
your slightest wish? I would give up
aiy last penny for you my last crust
it bread I would run my very feet off
0 do your bidding.
Marguerite That's Just it. I cannot
bring myself to marry a man who Is so
easily led. New York World.
A Great Difference.
"Jerry Pontoon, tell us something
about Oliver Cromwell."
"Which version, ma'am?"
"I don't understand."
"Magazine or history?"
Too Bad.
Rooster Why, what brought you to
the place of solitary confinement?
Hen Bad judgment
Rooster How's that?
Hen I roosted too low down.
Expensive Economy.
"Madge, we can't afford new clothes
this spring."
"Well, then, Albert, we must move.
I don't mind wearing my old duds In a
new neighborhood, but I won't stay
here and wear them." Indianapolis
Journal.
Amenitlea of the Clnb.
Mrs. A. Who on earth Is Miss Jen
kins in mourning for that she perpetu
ally dresses in black?
Mrs. B. Her husband.
Mrs. A. Why, she never had any.
Mrs. B. I mean the one she has
sought for all ber life and never found.
New York World.
The Telltale Compliment.
"Dear me! I must be getting old."
"What makes you think so?"
"People have begun congratulating
me on holding my own."
Had a Fretty Good Hunch.
"How did you come to pluck np
enough courage to propose to Miss
Frisbie, Bunting?"
"Well, she suggested that I had bet
ter not send her an expensive valentine
this year, but save my money to go to
housekeeping," confessed Bunting.
Detroit Free Press.
On State Street.
"You say he bowed to me, Jen? Well,
I don't want any of his old bows."
"Then why don't you return them?"
Unabaahed.
Good Man I fear that you have been
drinking hard of late, my man?
Larry Niver a dhrop, yer riverince.
Good Man But your nose is very,
very red.
Larry Oi big ye'r pardon, yer river
ince, it's anly th' refliction from th' rid
flannlls Ol wear.
No Fnn for the Parse.
"Did you go to the girls' college ben
efit supper, major?"
"Yes, little gal."
"They say it was a circus, major?"
"No, it wan't little gal. If it had only
been a circus I could have bought a bag
of rancid peanuts for a nickel, Instead
of paying 50 cents for a burnt ball of
popcorn."
Obituary,
Editor Callowman, the cigarette
fiend, is dead.
Publisher I can't help It
Editor-But he always paid up his
subscription.
Publisher-Then I guess we'd better
give him a puff.
Boon to Be Accommodated.
"Yes," said the sentimental Filipino,
"there's nothing more pleasant than a
sylvan retreat"
"I'm glad you like the idea," an
swered the general. . "We take to the
woods again to-morrow."-Washineton
Star.
Soared.
Quinn-The money Simms had In
bank went up the first year.
De Fonte-What happened the sec
ond year?
Quiun-Why, the bank went up.
A Cheap Extrication.
"How did you finally get rid of that
man who wanted you to become a mill
ionaire by letting him put you In on
the ground floor of a mining scheme?"
"Oh, I gave him 25 cents to buy his
lunch."-Chicago Times-Herald.
K4ectrical Disturbance.
HardacreI reckon Zeke Grublot
was surprised to find he could buy a
lightning rod from the agent for J2 "
Crawfoot-Why, man, he was thunderstruck.
Those Dear Girls.
Miss Chellus-What a lovely piece of
lace that Is.
Miss Amy Bell-Yes, Isn't it? Mam
ma gave me that when I first came
out
Miss Chellus-Really? How well it
has worn: Philadelphia Press.
Oetend'a Idea.
Ostend, take tbi3 sprinkler and wa
ter the rubber plant""
rubber is waterproof."
Superfluous Effort.
"Here's a quarter for you, poor man,
said the sympathetic old lady, "aud f
hope you will stick to your resolve nevi
er to be dishonest"
"I will, mum," responded Wear?
Wiggins. "Wot'i der use ov Bteallof
when yer kin git money dls easy.'U
Philadelphia Record. ' k
An Innovation.
Ida A bicycle suit of khaki would b
Just the thing. ?
May I don't see why? j;
Ida It wouldn't show the mud. 'f
Two Uplift era. I
"What!" exclaimed the orator, "wna
two things are helping mankind to gS
up In the world?"
"The alarm clock and the stepla
der," answered the dense person Iu tb':
rear of the hall. Baltimore America!
A Rlaah at Hla Beard.
He Miss Simpson, I'm a self-mad
man, j
She Yes? Well, why didn't you stud
the fashion plates In regard to will
kers? Chicago Record. j
Had One at Home.
A class was being examined in spel
Ing the other day, when the teach"
questioned a little girl as follows: 1
"Ethel, spell kitten." ;
"K, double 1, double t, e-n," replle"
Ethel. !
"Kitten has two I's then, has It?" sal
the teacher. 1
"Yes, ma'am," answered Ethel, cot
fldently; "ours has." i
Papa In for It. t
"Mamma, what would you do if tlrf
big vase in the parlor should get brol
en?" said Tommy.
"I should whip whoever did it," sal
Mrs. Banks, gazing severely at her lit
tie son. I
"Well, then, you'd better begin to ge
up your muscle," said Tommy, "c
papa's broke it." i
The Agony of Fear.
Benevolent Old Gent Are you n
afraid you will fill a drunkard's gravt
Thirsty Thingumbob Not on yer lif
De fear wot haunts me dreams is dJ
I'll die sober. Philadelphia Record.
Knew His Products. r
"He writes for the funny papers." f.
"Yes; it must be a funny paper thas
will print anything he wrltes."
delphia Bulletin.
Phil'
Desperate Economics.
"Joe, there's a collar and cuff tru
started." f
"Oh, gracious! I've been turnin
mine upside down; and now I suppo
I'll have to turn them inside out"4
Indianapolis Journal.
A Pleasant Reckoning.
"It is queer about Cousin Valeria'
old admirers." j
"What Is queer?"
"Why, the further she gets awa
from them the more numerous they a,
pear to her."
Shouldn't Ask Foolish Questions, j
Mabel Do you believe the peace co.
ference will accomplish anything, M
Bohawk?
Mother Don't be silly, Mabel! 11
Bohawk Is the leader of our churt;
choir. New York Press.
The dog Just my luck! They've gon
and fenced that Hon in so's I can't gt;
at him! t
A Heartfelt Definition.
"Say. pa. what Is an adult?"
"An adult Jimmv. is a nerson wh:
doesn't kick out a good pair of slion
every two weeks."
Two Heads on One Pair Shoulders, I
"I peeped into the parlor as I can
along the hall," remarked Mr. Fam.'(
mqn, "and I saw quite a strange freai
of nature."
iTnliqf - 1 1 . . . . . 1 1 s
jicuiijr i cAL-iaiiueu 3irs. r amniuu.
"Edith is there with her young man."
"Yes, I saw two heads on one pairs
shoulders." Philadelphia Press.
Arousing the Cook.
Stubb I compel our cook to keep
alarm clock in her room.
Fenn Does the gong arouse her?
oiuoo iso; put it arouses mv wti
and then she goes up two flights t
stairs ana raps on the cook's door.
Magnified Admiration.
"When would you call a man real;
great?"
"When he gets to be as ereat as
ten-year-old nenhew thinks he ls."-
Chleago Record.
Marvelous Speed 01 Arctnrus.
On a summer evening you may
Arcturus high up in the south or souti
west in June or July, and furtht'
down in the west in August or Septen
ber. You will know It by its red colo:
That star has been flying straigt
ahead ever since astronomers began t
observe it at such a SDeed that h
would run from New York to Cbicagf
in a small fraction of a minute. To;
would have to be spry to rise from yotf
chair, put on your hat and overcoat an
gloves and go out on the street while
was crossinc the Atlantic ncpan fron
New York to Liverpool. And yet If y
should watch that star all your Uf'
and live as long as STtethuselab, yf
would not be able to see hat it move.?
at alL The innrnov that It r--ii!1 nisi i
in 1,000 years would be as nothia-
alongside Its distance. Youth's Cot
pan ion.
Russia's Aaiatin Possess! na.
Russia's Asiatic possessions ire thr
times the size of Great Britain's, b"1
hold only 23,000,000 inhabitants.
compared with Great Britain's 237,01
Annihilation Obstructed.
IPMl lira flpJ k-lf
i
uw subjects, ,