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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (April 6, 1900)
LIVESTOCK CENSUS. An Enumeration of Fare-Brad Fans Animals Will Be Fart of Twelfth Cento. An enumeration of the pure-blood 01 pure-bred farm animals in the United States will be a part of the twelfth oen ma. The main schedule for agriculture provides for returning the number, June 1, 1900, of all pure-blooded ani mah recorded or eligible to record, on the farm." While the treasury department, in administering the tariff laws relative to pure-bred animals, does not accept the verbal statements of owners or agents, but requires certified evidence in writ ing of the pedigree claimed, thecensm enumerator will be compelled to relj pretty gunerally, if not wholly, upon verbal replies as to whether stock ii pure-bred. A several months must elapse before the census of live Btock will be taken, Director Merriam requests that all whe are not certain whether their unregis tered animals are grade, or pure-bred and "eligible to record," take stepi definitely to settle the mooted point, and thus be prepared without hesitation to give the enumerator accurate infor mation relative to this interesting inquiry. Sheep may be recorded by flocks; but other animals are recorded by indi viduals. The herd books show thai about 750,000 cattle have been regis tered in the United States and it it estimated that about 850,000 are liv ing. If breeders will make accurate returns of their pure-bred animals to the census enumerators next June, a correct basis will be secured for show ing future expansion in high grade live stock. Otherwise the efforts of the census officers will be of small value. Converted Into a Sawmill. The plant of the Everett, Wash., nail mill, which has been closed for a year or more, has been purchased by William C. Cutler and will be convert ed into a sawmill. The nail machines were shipped to Ban Francisco last fall, the local plant having been absorbed by the American Steel Company, Washington Fir. Less than two years ago Washington fir was tried as an experiment in the manufacture of cars, as a result ol which, it is asserted, by the Railroad and Engineering Journal, that during the present year a majority of the cars built for Western roads will be of ma terial taken from the Washington for ests. Hale of Sheep. M. Fitzgerald, of Mitchell, Or., sold on the 20th inst., to a Montana buyer, 1,000 head of yearling ewes and weth ers at $2.50 for wethers and $2.75 for ewes, to be delivered after shearing. As the sheep will shear 10 pounds, and Fitzgerald expects to got 18 cents a pound for -it, it will be seen that he figures on his yearlings bringing him an average of $4.43 per head. Northwest Notes. The board of commissioners of Che lan county, Wash., are very busy these days getting moved into the new court house at Wenatchee. A plant for extracting arsenic from the Monte Crista ores is to be establish ed at Evorett. It is said those ores are one-third arsenic The explosion of a lamp in ex-Senator Fobs' clothing store caused about $1,000 damage. The store is in one of Ana- cortes', Wash., finest brick structures The mon brought from up-Pound points to replace the strikers at the Seattle Logging Company's camp, at Port Crescont. have refused to go to work upon learning the situation there, and some have already returned home. The Everott & Monte Cristo railroad is to be rebuilt from Hartford Junction to Monte Cristo wherever it was dam aged by floods and the line will be in operation again by July 1. This is the part of the road not included in the purchase by the Northern Pacific. II. E. McBride sold his 80-aore farm in tho artesian belt to Hiram O. Blank unship, recently out from the Atlin geld Molds, says the North Yakima Republic. He will sink an artesian well at once and build a $1,000 house on the land. Oliver Cornwell shipped two oar loads of fat beef cattle to Snohomish, Wash., saya the Walla Walla Union. These cattle were fed upon alfalfa hay altogether, and made a gain of 250 pounds in three months. They aver agod when shipped 1,400 pounds each. The price per hundred was $4.85. The O. R. & N. is about to expend about $300,000 in improving the track between Pendleton and Umatilla. In the stomach of a beef creature recently killed at Fossil, Or., the othor day, three pounds of gravel stones larger than ordinary marbles were found. The petition of the citizens of John Day, Or., asking that the. town be al lowed to incomorate undai thn Win. lative act of 1803, was granted by the Grant county court at its last meeting. A petition is being circulated at Fossil with a view of resurrecting the to nl and Waterman mail route, which was discontinued several weeks ago and a line from Twickenham to Waterman substituted, Pendleton has an ordinance against pitting on the sidewalk that has just (one into effect. A fine of $1 for each offense is provided for, and it is said the Pendleton otTicoia will enforce the law. The Willamette is now believed to be at a lower stage than it has been at this season in many a year. It is but four feet above low water, and the iteamboat people are already figuring n putting a light draught steamer on the run. La Grande's, Or., sugar factory will pay $4.50 per ton for beets this year, ind is assured that 9,600 acres will be planted. All factory employes, it is innonuced, will be taken from the 3rand Koude valley. The company will have 73 acres in beets at Ontario. Harney is one of the matt prosperous joonties of Oregon, or the entire West, lays the Burns News. We have not ex porting manufactories, and we have ase tor our own cereals. But our old cows and our sheep have eaten their fill of green grass in summer and of Harney hay in winter, and vast has been the result thereof. BRADSTREET'S REVIEW. Quiet Week In the Dry-Goods Distrib utive Trade, Bradstreet'f says: It has been a quiet week in distributive trade, except at some few v estern centers, this Deing especially true of the dry-goods busi nesa. Wholesale trade in this line has been generally oompleted, and, pend ing the effect of the spring demand up on the retail trade, the markets are in a waitiue stage. As regards prices, the feature of the week has been the strength manifested in agricultural pro ducts and provisions. The advances in the latter, in fact, are regarded as lore shadowing an upward movement in hog products, long predicted, but only par tially realized. Winter wheat crop advices have been, on the whole, good, and have acted as a balance to the stories of French damage. Wool has been more active, but con siderable business has been done at concessions. The demoralization in the sugar mar ket is clearly confined to the refining branch. Manufacturers and Jobbers in carpets and upholstery report a heavy season's business booked. Wheat, including flour, shipments for the week aggregate 3,962,849 bush els, against 2,903,495 last week. Business failures in the United States for the week number 178, as compared with 192 last week. Business failures in the Dominion of Canada for the week number 25, as against 23 last week. Oriental advices state that permis sion to do general business in Japan has been refused 60 foreign insurance companies, most of them American. PACIFIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Markets. Onions, new, $3.00 2.75 per sack. Lettuce, hot house, 45c per doz. Potatoes, new, $1718. Beets, per sack, 75 85c. Turnips, per sack, 60o. Carrots, per sack, 75c. Parsnips, per sack, 75 85c. - Cauliflower, 75c $1 per dozen. Cabbage, native and California, $1. 00 1.25 per 100 pounds. Apples, $1.25 1. DO per box. Prunes, COo per box. Butter Creamery, 28o per pound; dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 17o per pound. Eggs 15 16c. Cheese Native, 15o. Poultry 13 14c; dressed, 14 15c; spring, $5. Hay Puget Sound timothy, $12.00; choice Eastern Washington timothy, $18.0019.00 Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23; feed meal, $23. Barley Boiled or ground, per ton, $20; Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25; blended straights, $3.00; California, $3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00. Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $13.00; shorts, per ton, $15.00. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton, $30.00. Fresh Meats Choice dressed beei steers, 78o; cowb, 7c; mutton 8c; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 6 10c. Hams Large, 13c; small, 13; breakfast bacon, 12,'g'c; dry salt sides, 8c. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 6354o; Valley, 53c; Bluestem, 56o per bushel. Flour Best grades, $3.00; graham, $3.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 8687o; choice gray, 84o per bushel. Barley Feed barley, $1414.50; brewing, $17.00(317.50 per ton. Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $9 10; clover, $7 7.50; Oregon wild hay, $07 per ton. Butter Fancy creamery, 45 50c; seconds, 40c; dairy, 3087,c; store, 253240. Eggs 1 1 4'o per dozen. Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c; Young America, 14c; new cheese lOo per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.60 4.50 per dozen; hens, $0.60; springs, $3.50(38.50; geese, $0.60(558.00 for old; $4.506.50; ducks, $5.606.00 per dozon; turkeys, live, 10llo per pound. Potatoes 40 55o per sack; sweets, 22o per pound. Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 60c; per sack; garlic, 7o per pound; cab bage, l,4o per pound; parsnips, $1; onions, $2.00(12.50; carrots, $1. Hops 38o per pound Wool Valley, 1618o per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 loo; mohair, 27 80o per pound. Mutton CirosB, best sheep, wethers and ewes, 4'o; dressed mutton, 7 IMa per pound; lambs, 7oper pound. Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00; light and feeders, $4.50; dressed, $0.00 6. 50 per 100 pounds. Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.60; cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 6 7?o per pound. Veal Large, 6X7Js'o; Btnall, 8 9o per pound. Tallow 55c; No. 3 and grease, 84o per pound. aa Franeiseo Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 1215opei pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 (g 16c; Val ley, 2022o; Northern, 10 12c. Hops 1809 crop, 1213o per pound. Butter Fancy creamery 18o; do seconds, 16)l?o; fancy dairy, 16 16Vsc;do8econd8,1415o per pound. Eggs Store, 13, Sic; fancy ranch, 15 V. Millstuffs Middliugs, $17.00 20.00; bran, $12.50 13.50. Hay Wheat $6.50 9.50; wheat and oat $6.00 9.00; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.006.60 per ton; straw, 25 40o per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 70c; Ore gon Burbanks, 65o$l.00; river Bur lnks, 40 75c; Salinas Burbanks, Sue 1.10 per sack. Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia, $3.753.25; Mexican limes, $4.00 6.00; California lemons 75c $1.50; do choice $1.752.00 per box. Tropical Fruits Bananas, ?1.60 2.60 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 6 8. Wo per pound. MARCUS DA'.Y, COPPER KlNQ, Who Has Attracted Attention by Ilia Fight Against Senator Clark. Marcu A. Daly, the Montana copper king, has attracted attention by his fight against Senator William A. Clark, both In the Montana Legislature, and since Clark's arrival at Washington. He Is worth $20,000,000 all acquired within twenty years. Born In New York, of Irish parentage, be drifted West at an early age and worked In the mines. One of his employers In the latter '70s was George It. Hearst who recognized Daly's shrewdness and his maguetlc Influence over other men and sent him to Montana In 1880, as the representative of a syndicate of which Hearst was a member, to develop some property there. Daly was given a working interest This was the foun dation of bis fortune. lie took bold of the Anaconda copper properties of his principals and developed them to such an extent that his Interests have amounted In twenty years to $20,000,. 1 A i MAKCUS DALY. 000. The Anaconda, with Its mines at Butte, Its smelters at Anaconda, Its sawmills In the western . part of the State and Its coal In the eastern and northern portions. Is the largest em ployer of labor In the State, employing 10,000 people out of a total population of 250,000. It reduces 4,000 tons of ore every day and during 1898 cut more lumber than auy other establishment In the United States. Daly Is not a remarkable man except ns a money-maker, nor has bis career been eventful. Ills diversion Is the breeding of horses and raising fruits. He has the secoud largest apple or chard in the country and his horses have won fame on the race track. Prob ably the happiest days of his busy life are spent on his Bitter Root ranch. Each summer he Is there with his fam ily, lie always has friends there. They are not, as a rule, people who have fine places of their own. Boys and girls of the age of his own children are the principal visitors, and to see Daly with the youngsters one would not suppose he was carrying the burdens of one of the biggest enterprises in the North west LAW AS INTERPRETED. rower of the governor or military officer In command to suspend the writ of habeas corpus, or disregard It If Is sued, for the purpose of suppressing an Insurrection or rebellion, Is sus tained In re Boyle (Idaho), 45 L. R. A. 832, and on application for such a writ the truth of recitals In the governor's proclamation is held not to be open to question. Acts done pursuant to a subsisting Judgment which Is afterward reversed are held, In Bridges vs. McAllister Uy.), 45 L. R. A. 800, to constitute no basis for an action of tort The case was one of damages by filling up a dltcb In pursuance of a Judgment which was afterward reversed. In collection with this case Is a note pre senting the other authorities on the question of liability for tort in doing acts authorized by a subsisting Judg ment which Is afterward reversed. Liability of a sleeping car company for theft of a passenger's effects while he is asleep Is denied In Pullman's Tal ace Car Company vs. Adnms (Ala.), 45 L. R. A. 707, If the company has exer cised reasonable diligence; but the mere fact that the porter did not go to sleep during his watch Is not deemed sufficient proof of such diligence. The theft of a ring carried In a pocketbook, and which Is not capable of being used on the Journey, Is held not to make the company liable, even if Its loss was due to the company's negligence. A Torrens registration law which provides for the registration of land titles after they are established In a court of equity is upheld In people ex rel. Deneen vs. Simon (111.), 44 L. R, A. 801; and It Is held that Judicial power is not conferred upon the registrar by requiring him to make entries when It appears to him that a person Intending to create a charge on property "has the title and right to create such charge," and that the person In whose favor It Is to be made "is entitled by the terms of the act to have the same registered" especially when a party aggrieved can apply to a court of equity. A provision that the registrar shall record a trans- er of land held In trust, upon the writ en opinion of two examiners that the 6v.joo,ooa Let any man get far enough away from the scene of his crime, and he will believe down U) his heart that be is la Boctot. Quick Work. Rome was not built In a day. but then Rome was very much behind the tl"es. Things are done more quickly now. On the outskirts of Chicago a feat was ac compllshed not long ago that would have astonished Rome. ., It may be a little astonishing even tb present day readers. A contract was signed on Friday for the building of a church. The document stipulated that the church should be ready for dedication on the following Sunday. Just one clear day was left for the erection of the building, which was to accommodate three thousand persons. At four o'clock on the morning of Saturday the work was begun, and at seven o'clock that evening the men were putting In windows, hanging doors, and getting In the electric lights, which were especially provided for In the contract No floor was laid, and there was no time to gather up the shavings, but by twelve o'clock that night all else was done, and the dedica tion services were held on the follow ing day. Almost as wonderful a feat and one In which haste was more Justifiable, was the building of a field hospital, and having It ready for patients In exactly one hour from the time when It was begun. Dr. Hofgraeff, an army surgeon, un dertook to demonstrate to the Austrian military authorities that eight men could build a hospital fifty by twenty feet In an hour. All materials were ready, and no tools were required. Sleepers, pane's, bolts, rods, waterproof packing, all were pre pared beforehand, every plug for Its hole, and every groove for Its setting. There was nothing to do but to pat the building together. The value of a hospital that can ba erected on the spot at such short no tine needs no demonstration. The Income of a Naval Officer. On about the salary of a young clerk an ensign of our navy must dress well, his wife and children must; they must live In a presentable part of any city; ti.e children must be educated, and well, somehow. The very nomadism of their lives Is a great source of expense, and there Is no escape from unpaid bills, no living on from year to year ic debt as do a recognizable number of people in civil life; for a tradesman has but to send bis authenticated bill to toe Navy Department, and the de linquent will be curtly reminded of it through official channels; resultng in a court-martial If his shortcoming is so often repeated as to be "unbecoming to an officer and a gentleman." But even all this sordid counting of dollars and debts seldom succeeds in subduing, cer tainly not in breaking, the spirit of people naval. "Everybody knows what everybody has," and this fact at once lifts off a social burden which Is re sponsible for half the misery of pover ty of the "genteel" "degree. Then, too, to have even a little, If that little comes regularly and with absolute certainty, is a rest in a country where leisure Is still looked at askance. In return, how ever, an officer gives up his whole life, very often smothers his talents and ambitions, and Is "on guard" every hour of bis existence. Politically he Is practically disfranchised, must always be for the government and remain dis creetly silent In a land given over to "oratory" and In a time of extreme In dividualism of opinion. Woman's Home Companion. Brotherly Counsel. The more nervous a man la the more he tries to say the right thing, and as a rule, the more lamentably he falls. It is not always the man who attempts to set him right, however, who covers himself with glory. There is a story told of a certain English curate who was afflicted with a painfully nervous temperament, and whose nervousness was In the habit of affecting his tongue and causing him to make the most awkward remarks when he particularly desired to pay neat compliments to those high in au thority or position. It happened one day that he had dis tinguished himself beyond his wont during a gathering of clergymen at aa afternoon tea at the bishop's palace. On the way home a senior curate took him to task for his blunders. "Look here, Bruce," said the senior, decidedly, "you are a donkey! Why can't you keep quiet, Instead of attract ing everybody's attention by your asi nine remarks? You need not be offend ed. I'm speaking to you now as a brother " At this point loud laughter Interrupt ed the speaker, and for a moment he wondered why. Speculate Only on Paper. The story Is told In an article in "The Anecdotal Side of Mr. Beecher," in the Ladles' Home Journal, of a member of Plymouth Church who had lost heavily In Wall street speculation and failed in business and who went to the great preacher one day and voluntarily prom ised that he w ould not speculate for one year. At the end of six mouths, bow ever, he went to his pastor and asked o be released from bis promise. "I 'an make more In one week than I am iow making In a year," he said. Mr. Beecher refused to release him. Do your speculating on paper," he aid, "and at the end of the year tell le how you would have come out had let you go." At the end of the year the would-be peculator reported to Mr. Beecher: ' if had actually made those deals I -ould have failed three times in the six nouths." A Hag Old Lock. The oldest lock in existence Is one shleh formerly secured one of the loors of Nineveh. It Is a gigantic af 'alr, and the key to It which Is as arge as one man can conveniently arr.v, Is 3 feet 6 Inches In length, and ;orrespondlngly thick. "Klang" Chinese Tor "RiTer." In a map of China recently published by the China Inland mission it is point ed out that It Is wrong to speak of the "Yaogtse Klang river," as Klang means T riser. i Healthy People In the Klondike. Many physicians have left Dawson for want of practice, and no less than five private sanitariums have closed on account of lack of patronage. SINGULAR FRUIT FOR A TREE, Chinese Product that Bears Tallow Brought to South Carolina. The people of China are eminently praoctlcal and have added much to the civilization of mankind by tbelr habits of industry, of which the method of ob taining vegetable tallow Is an excellent example. The tree producing this tallow Is called Stilllngla Seblfera, and the words remind us of the dropping product and Its soapy nature. The Chinese pick the seeds of this tree in autumn and first place them In a wood en cylinder, open at the top and per forated at the bottom. After being steamed over a Are for ten or fifteen minutes the tallow Is softened and Is then more readily separnted. The seeds are transferred from the steaming cyl inder to a stone mortar. In which they are gently beateu. They are then thrown on a sieve, heated over the Are and sifted, by which process the tallow Is separated and resembles coarse In dian meal. In this state the tallow Is put be tween circles of twisted stiaw and these placed In a press, by which the tallow Is forced out and falls Into a tub. Freed from all Impurities, It Is then a semi-fluid of a beautiful white color. Candles made of It easily melt In hot weather, and on this account they are dipped In melted wax of vari ous colors red, green or yellow and are exposed for sale by tallow chan dlers and other shopkeepers. This re markable tree Is found on the banks of the Mln, In Szetbuen. It also grows near Soochow and has been transplant d to North and South Carolina. It Is t tree with shining leaves and small fellow flowers at the end of the branches. They are succeeded by dark colored seeds and vessels containing lellcate white seeds. In late autumn, an the banks of the Tslen-tnng River, In Choklang, south of Hnngchow, this tree Is a striking object. The leaves re then of a blood-red color Instead of 1 light green. When the tallow has been squeezed out of the seeds the re mainder Is preserved to be used as fuel ar to enrich the land. Italy has enacted an old-age pension law. Philadelphia, Pa., has 103 trades anions. . St. Paul (Minn.) employing painters favor the shorter work day. Indianapolis pattern makers have re ceived an advance of 20 per cent A needle factory at Redditch, Eng land, turns out 75,000,000 needles every week. There are 0,005 separate pieces of material In the modern high-grade loco motive. At Columbus, Ga., both white and colored barbers have formed local unions. The Russian workers In the great In dustrial centers are organizing into trades unions. The Buffalo Express has unionized Its plant after a two years' controversy with the printers. Louisville (Ky.) union carpenters se cured an advance of 30 cents per day tor the year 1900. The railway workers of England are preparing to inaugurate a movement for the eight-hour day. Twenty-five thousand labels of the Broommakers' Union are used monthly in Chicago and vicinity. In Liverpool, England, the death rate In the slum districts Is three times the average of the whole city. Admiral Dewey's former flagship, the Olympia, is to be repaired and strength ened at a cost of $500,000. Joplin (Mo.) building mechanics have formed a Building Trades Council, In which all crafts are represented. An Increase of 12 per cent In the wages of 400 weavers in the lace mills at Wilkesbarre, Pa., Is announced. The building trades of the Northeast are making' preparations to demand In creases of wages, and strikes are ex pected. Tokyo, Japan, has a labor newspaper Issued semi-monthly, and labor unions are rapidly forming throughout that country. The Berwlnd-Whlte Coal Company of Eastern Pennsylvania has announced an Increase in the wages of its 30,000 employes. By a law enacted during the past year eight hours work Is tbe limit now allowed on any kind of public work In California. Louisville (Ky.) clgarmakers have levied an assessment of 50 cents per month for six months to boom the union label. It Is stated the Choctaw Railway Company has decided its Intention of employing colored firemen exclusively, and that no white men need apply. Brooms as Germ Breeders. Bacteriologists devote themselves to the detection, Isolation and destruction of bacteria, and, strange to say, they do not appear to have given much at tention to the danger that lurks in the ordinary articles of household use. For example, the common house broom is both the habitation and breeding place for whole colonies of bacteria, and cases of disease have been traced to this apparently Inoffensive article. At Konigsberg a course In bacteriology Is given by a physician, in which he main talus that tbe strictest sanitary and hygienic conditions In thlugs pertain ing to the house should be Inculcated, aud In this country, in the Boston Cook ing School, and doubtless elsewhere, there are many lectures given on bac teriology. The refrigerator is one of the danger spots, for bacteriologists tell us that the minutest organisms may thrive even In melted Ice, and putre factive bacteria once gaining access to the household refrigerator will breed and contaminate butter, milk, meat and other food kept therein. Cupboards and closets also afford an excellent breeding place for the ever present mi crobe, and housekeepers will do well to look to such articles as refrigeratora, brooms, dusters, etc. HUMOR OF THE WEEK STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Odd, Cnrlona and Laughable Phases of Human Nature Graphically Por trayed by Eminent Word Artleta of Oar Own Day-A Budget of Fun "I wish we was all over In Klmber ley," said little Willie. "Why?" his mamma asked. "I heard papa reading last night that bread cost nearly half a dollar a loaf there, so I guess they wouldn't try to keep a person from filling up on cake I" Baltimore Times. Mexican Sarcasm. La Gaceta, a paper published In Guadalajara, Mexico, part In English and part In Spanish, prints in a promi nent place the following: A CARD. Will the gentleman who embraced my wife at the entrance to the post office about 9 o'clock Thursday evening please send me his photograph for my album of heroes? lie will greatly blige. J. L "A Popular Heir." -' A Distinguished Character 'That's an imposing-looking woman over In the corner." "Yes; she's the president of a parrot club." Chicago Record. Caution. "Young man," said Uncle Jerry Pee bles, "how do you pronounce that?" "Tabbledy hote, sir," replied the waiter, a recent importation from Skedunk. "Correct," rejoined Uncle Jerry, nod ding his approval. "Bring me that" Chicago Tribune. What a Palatable Diah! "Will you have oysters?" asked the man, glancing over the bill of fare. "Yes," said the short little woman, as she tried In vain to touch the floor with her toes. "And, John, I want a has sock." John nodded, and, as he handed his order to the waiter, he said: "Yes, and bring a hassock for the lady." "One hassock?" asked the waiter, with what John thought more than or dinary interest as he nodded in the affirmative. Still the waiter did not go, but brushed the table cloth with a towel and rearranged the articles on It several times, while his face got very red. Then be came around to John's side, and, speaking sotto voce, said: "Say, mister, I haven't been here long, and I'm not up to all these things. Will the lady have the hassock broiled or fried?" Youth Never Hetnrns. Her Father You are too young to marry. Walt and you will get over this love. Herself That Is what I am afraid of. Indianapolis Press. Trying to Fcare Her. "Ma, our old cat likes a joke." "What makes you think so, Jimmy?" "'Cause, when she ketches a mouse Ihe alius brings it to you." Indianapo lis Journal. Strange. Undertaker How's business? Shoemaker So, so. How's yours? Undertaker Dead. Ties that Bind. "I thought you and Dorinda were perfectly Inseparable.' "We were, but don't you know it was Just a society friendship." In dianapolis Journal. Reflex Disarmament. "The Transvaal war is full of sur prises." "That's so. Whenever I trv tn tnib about It I run against somebody who has read more about it than I have." Indianapolis Journal. Strategy. "Oh. mamma!" Molnimot mt i. v. .tn,; Ar thur, all out of breath, "r - - juoi urtru playing with the Goodwin children and mtrjr ume me uicasies at tneir home. Now can I eat all the cake I want to? 'Cause you know I'm going to be sick anyway." Chicago Tribune. Proof Wanted. "I could die for love of von!" sum t.o rich old suitor. "Yes; but would you?' onHwi th practical maid. Chicago News. Another Change Likely. Miss Breezy-I see she's mun-i again. Miss Lakeside Yes: this is hpr sev enth, and I don't think she caroa rT much for him. Miss Breezy No? Miss Lakeside-No. I was at thA An. gTaver's to-day when she left her or- ae? ior ner new visltins card sha only ordered fifty.-Philadelpbia Presa. Tn Mourn In jr. "What! back again!" exclaimed tfcf young housekeeper, "you can't exjij me to give you cake every day." "No. lady," replied the poor beggarf "I thought maybe you had an old sul of black clothes you might give mi Me poor ole mother eat the cake yotl gev.me yestid'y." Philadelphia Press The Optimistic View. I "You're a shocking sight! He broki your nose, didn't he?" "Yes, but If be had struck me an Incl higher and a little to the right or let, he would ha?e broken my eye-glasses and that would have been $2.50." Ch;., cago Tribune. And Incompatibility. "You want a divorce from your bus' band, madam? On what ground''' "Excessive cruelty. He abuses Fldo. Chicago Tribune. "The Abaent-Mlnded Beggar." First beggar HI, there, pal, you'vi got y'r signs mixed this mornin'. Second ditto What's wrong wld 'em "Wrong? Why, you chump, tun" card says 'Blind. You're deaf 'u dumb." Philadelphia Bulletin. Quantity Bather than Quality, j, "Why do you think he Isn't much of a criminal lawyer?" I "He completed his speech In thre, hours, when he might Just as well havrf strung It out for as many days and add ed several hundred dollars to his blll." Chicago Post i Willing to Lose Herself. i "There Is one thing can be truly sale'' of Miss Ogler; she is self-possessed.'! 'True, but I'll bet you she wishes sLt' wasn't." Boston Courier. i Abaent-Mlnded. t Wickwire Look here! This Is the fourth time this morning you have been; In here asking for the price of a meal. Dismal Dawson Yep. I am the al' sent-mlnded beggar, don't ye kuow.- Indianapolls Press. Hla Words Rang True. He To prove the sincerity of my In! tentlons, I have brought this solitulrs, adornment for your engagement fiugerl She I must say, my friend, that your speech has the true ring. Bostoui Courier. t The Beaaonlng. Mr. Tenderfoot This bear meat: seems very highly spiced. Cactus Charley It ought to be, pard -ner. That's a cinnamon bear steak. ' Baltimore American. f A Game of Checkers r IVr jit T 1 Mr. Blackboard: Dar oughter bs some game In dlsher log. : i JIJ 2 Bear: There is! The game U checkers, and it's your move. Of a Truth. "Seven dollars and fifty cents for a book like that!" exclaimed the young man, putttlng his purse back In his pocket. "Why, that costs like sin." "My young friend," said the elderly book agent, "there Is nothing that eostg like sin." Chicago Tribune. Useless, if Stationary. "Yes, your highness," said the aide, "and shall I post this proclamation la a conspicuous place?" "No," replied Agulnaldo, "you'd bet ter have enough copies printed to give one to each man, so that all who run may read." Philadelphia Press. The Boundabont Way. f "You have three brothers, haven't you?" he Inquired. I "Yes," she answered. "Why?" "Oh, I was just wondering If you would like to make me a fourth." "I'm very sorry," she replied, "but Ii will be a wife to you." Philadelphia! North American. I Nextl -Miss Goldi'ox Yoir didn't seem to: have much regard for Count Spaghetti.! What do you know of him? Mr. Pepprey Nothing of my personal; knowledge, but some of my friends? used to know hlin quite well. Miss Goldrox Then you never met I him before? Mr. Pepprey-Oh, no, I've always' shaved myself. Philadelphia Press. Impossible. I "We can be friends," she said, softly.! "Then we can never be man audi wife," he answered, dismally. Phila delphia North American. Would Brlnsr Them All. "I can't pay that bill now." "If you don't I'll tell all your other creditors that you have paid it" , Kite Draws Sparks from Snow. William A. Eddy, at Bayonne, on i recent occasion made his first electric test in a blizzard, by sending aloft a six-foot single plene kite during the heavy gale and dense snowfall, sustain ing In this way a steel wire at a consid erable height So severe was the gale that the kite was repeatedly borne down to within about fifty feet of the earth, but It always recovered Its posi tion aloft The falling snow dimmed the kite, but did not overweight it At 5 p. m. the electric connection with the steel wire was severed from the grounding rod, when the hissing sound of the brush discharge could be plainly heard, followed by a one-inch spark. Mr. Eddy says that the electrical activ ity with the kite at so moderate an alti tude was the greatest he has ever ex perienced. It was as powerful as if thunderstorm were near by. At the time the steel was paid out it was made to run through an Iron snaphook teth ered by a chain to a rod driven Into tbe ground. This was done by Mr. Eddy to lessen the danger from severe ele trie shocks. -j