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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (March 16, 1900)
FARMING FOR ALASKA
Gralni, Flax, Clovar and Vegetable!
Thrive Surprlflngly Alio Ootti,
Sheep and Cattle.
One of the important repoits which
has just been submitted to congress by
the secretary of agriculture and ordered
to be printed deals with the agricul
tural investigations in Alaska. It is
important because it brings out some
facts in regard to the agricultural capa
bilities of our vast Northern territory,
which will astonish those who have re
garded it as a useless ice box, which at
most, was valuable only for the gold it
might contain or for the fur and fish it
These investigations, as far as they
have gone, indicate that it has latent
capabilities which, when developed,
may sustain a lurge population and
make it a prosperous state. And why
not? The little country of Finland,
which lies between Sweden and llussia
In the same latitude and is less than
one-fourth the size of Alaska, has a
jKipulation of 2.500,000 and exports
both grain and livestock, as well as
vast quantities of dairy products. The
author of the report, l'rofessor C. C.
(ieorgeson, who has charge of the in
vestigations, brought to Washington It
varieties of spring wheat, a dozen
varieties each of barley anil oates, and
also rye, buckwheat and flax, all of
which had matured at the experiment
stations at Hitka and Kenai, in the
Kenai peninsula. The rejwrt states
that red clover lived through the winter
at Kitka, made a luxuriant growth
and matured seed, and that vetches
and other forage plants did equally as
well. All of the common hardy veget
ables were grown to perfection, some
cauliflower at Kenai measuring 14
inches across the head.
A statement by the superintendent
of the Alaska Commercial Company in
regard to his company's experience
with livestock at Kadiak is of more
than passing interest, because it reveals
possibilities in the stock industry
which are bound to be of much iinpor-
tance in the future development of the
country. The company has for many
years kept cattle, sheep and Angora
gouts on some of the small islands near
the town of Kadiak. On one of these
islands it was not found necessary to
feed or shelter the cattle at all, winter
or summer. Year in and year out they
lived in the open and were maintained
solely by the native grasses, which are
abundant in all of Southwestern
Alaska. The herd increased yearly
about 75 per cent of the breeding cows,
A flock of Angora goats iuoreaBed 60
per cent annually and gave very good
results in mohair. A flock of sheep
has been kept for the past 16 years on
pasture, the year around. j he in
crease was something over 60 per cent,
and the clip averaged about five
pounds of wool per head yearly. There
seems to be no doubt that animal litis
bandry can be successfully prosecuted
in different parts of Alaska.
Land for agricultural experiment fita
tions has been reserved at three places
in the coast region; namely, at Sitka,
Kadiak and Cook Inlet, and develop'
ment work was begun the past season
at Sitka and Kenai. A headquarters
building was erected and partially com
pleted at Sitka. It is to contain
ollioes, laboratory, library and quarters
for the person in charge. Most of the
scientific, work will be done at Sitka
The stations are equipped with work
oxen and all the tools necessary for
pioneer farming. The report enumer-
ates also the lines of experimentation
which are of chief interest to that
country. They include those which
relate to the improvement of the soil.
the selection and improvement of small
grains, experiments with vegetables,
the introduction of fruits and export-
nients relating to the various branches
of livestock industry.
Nov! li went Notei.
An opera house to cost $12,500 and
to have a seating capacity of 1,000, is
to be erected at Albany, Or., this year.
Mra. Jane Kees, who died near Leb
anon, Or., left an estate valued at about
$120,001), mostly iu money. She left
mi children, and the money goes to her
brothers and slstets.
The hoisting engine at the govern'
meut woiks at IUtudon, Or., was crush
ed to smithereens. A big blast was
set off, and a rock weighing 25 tons
fell on the engine, fairly pulverizing it,
Fairhavon, Wash., claims to have
not only the largest salmon cannery in
the world, but also the largest shingle
mill, and the daily capacity of the lat
ter is now being increased from 500,'
000 to 700,000.
A. O. Tettys, ex county assessor of
Morrow county, Or., who has a fine
farm and orchard three miles east of
lone, is of the opinion that the late
frost injured the. peach crop. His
trees were nearly iu bloom when the
frost came. He also states that the
oodlin moth was doing a great deal of
injury to his orchard.
Pendleton, Or., will have a Chinese
voter at the June election by the name
of Kug Chuug, who was born iu San
Francisco. He is well educated and
roads aud writes the F.uglish language
as well as the average American, and
to hear him talk without seeing him it
would be impossible to say that he was
uot an American.
A 16-year old boy has been arrested
in Spokane charged with bicycle steal
ing. He confessed that he had stolen
nine of the ten wheols reported stolen
The average wages paid iu the lumber
and shingle mills of Washington is
about $2.78 per day. The lowest
wages paid is for firemen, who receive
Jl.75 per day. The highest are re
ceived by head sawyer and book
keepers, their compensation beiug $1
The Northern Pacific taxes in Walla
Walla county woie $3,234.11(5, and the
money has been paid.
The Daniels creek railroad, to be
built by the North lieud Mill Com
pany, to tap a tody of over 8,000 acres
of timber land which the company
recently came into possession of, is
now an assumed fact, says the Marsh
field Or - S:n. All of tlirt imimrrunt
right of way has been secured, aud the
first length of load to be built will be I
six miles. The road is to be broad
gauge, and the engines and rolling '
stock nave been ordered from the East.
Qrneral Trad ItUtrlbution Has Shown
Tendency to Kxpand.
Believed from the hampering effects
of stormy weather, general trade distri
bution has shown a tendency to expand
this week, prices of many staples are
firmer and higher, and generally there
is a better tone than noted for some
weeks. Easily holding first rank in
the matter of speculative activity, cot
ton early in the week touched the high'
est level, not only for the present sea'
son, but for at least six years past.
Wool is rather weaker, following the
drop in prices at the London sale, an
the rather slower demand from Ameri
By another of the short swings which
have distinguished wheat prices for a
long time past, quotations have been
advanced this week to the level touched
some time ago.
Boot and shoe manufacturers are
actively employed, and leather is firm
but hides are weaker or lower at most
Building materials are firm, except
at cities where labor troubles are ap
The industrial situation is rather
irregular, owing partly to the com
bined strike and lock-out of 50,000
building hands, building material
workers and machinists at Chicago
and partly to isolated strikes of small
numbers of men throughout the
'Wheat, including flour, shipments
for the week aggregate 4,208,758 bush
els, against 8,808.887 bushels last
week, 4,808,821 bushels the corre
spondiug week of 1809, and 4,844,761
bushels in 1808.
Business failures in the United States
for the week number 180, against 173
last week. 177 in this week a year ago,
247 in 1808, 227 in 1807 and 282 in
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Onions, new, $2.252.50 per sack,
Lettuce, hot house, 40c per doz.
Potatoes, new, $18 20.
Beets, per sack, 75 85c.
Turnips, per sack, 60c.
Carrots, per sack, 50c.
Parsnips, per sack, 75 85c.
Cauliflower, 75c$l per dozen.
Cabbage, native and California,
$1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds.
Apples, $1.25 1.50 per box.
Prunes, 00c per box.
Butter Creamery, 81o per pound
dairy, 1722c; ranch, 20o per pound
Cheese Native, 16o.
Poultry 13 14c; dressed, 14 15c,
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $12.00
choice Eastern Washington timothy
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25
blended straights, $3.00; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $0.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat
flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00
shorts, per ton, $15.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $20.00 per ton
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton, $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef
steers, 78c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 74c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 8)4
Hams Large, 13c; small, 13;
breakfast bacon, 12e; dry salt sides,
Port! mill Mark at.
Wheat Walla Walla. 5152o;
Valley, 52c; Bluestem, 54o per bushel.
Hour Best grades, $3.00; graham,
.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 85 30c; choice
gray, 84o per bushel.
Barley Feed barloy, $1415.00;
brewing, $17.0017.50 per ton.
Millstuffs rBran, $18 per ton; mid
dlings, $10; shorts, $15; chop, $14 pel
Hay Timothy, $9 10; clover, $7
7.50; Oregon wild hay, $07 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 50 55c;
seconds, 4245c; dairy, S087o;
Eggs llo per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, ISo;
Young America, 14o; new cheese 10c
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.50
4.50 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs,
$2. 50 8, 50; geese, $6. 60 7. 50 for old;
$4.506.50; ducks, $5.005.50 per
dozen; turkeys,, live, 10 llo per
Potatoes 50 65o per sack; sweets,
2240 per pound.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 90o;
per sack; garlic, 7o per pound; cab
bage, lio per pound; parsnips, $1;
onions, $1.50 2. 25; carrots, $1.
Hops 88o por pound
Wool Valley, 1218o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 8 14c; mohair, 27
80o per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, 4,4Cj dressed mutton, 7
7t0 per pound; lambs, 7'soper pound,
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.50; dressed,
$0.00 6.60 per 100 pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.50;
cows, $3.50 4.00; dressed beef, 6s
74 0 per pound.
eal Large, 6M7sc; small, 8
9o per pound.
Tallow 554c; No. S and grease,
844o per pound.
an Franoiaeo Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 1215opex
pound; Eastern Oregon, 1216o; Val
ley, 3023o; Northern, 1012o.
Hops lsuo crop, iitiao per
Butter Fancy creamery 81c;
do seconds, 19 20c; fancy dairy, 17
18c; do Beconds, 15 16o per pound.
Eggs Store, lSo; 'fancy ranch,
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00
20.00; bran, $13.00 13.00.
Hay Wheat $7.00 9.50: wheat and
oat $7.009.00; best barley $5.50
7.60; alfalfa, $6.00 7.50 per ton;
straw, 8045o per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose. 75 85c: Ore-
eon Burbanks. 65c 1.00: river Rnr-
banks, 4070o; Salinas Burbanks,
b0e1.10 per sack.
Citrus Fruit Oranges. Valencia.
$3. 75 3. 25; Mexican limes. $4.00(4
6.00; California lemons 75e($1.50:
do choice $1.758.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
3.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dated, 6 6. So per
"Oh, sllrer brooklet, flowing clear,
Forever speeding past me here.
I stand, and ponder on thy flow;
Whence contest thou? Where dost thou
"From out. the rock's deep heart 1 glide,
O'er flowers and moss my course I guide;
There fluats upon my mirror true.
The picture of the heaven's blue.
"So, like a child without a care,
I bound along, I know not where;
He will, I trust, my Leader be,
Who from earth's bosom summoned me."
Mrs. Luther Wilkins.
HE postmaster smiled a little
when he passed out the mall, but
Luther Wilkins did not notice.
He woe trying to remember whether it
was a yeast cake or a pound of cheese
he had meant to get at the store.
He went out of the postofflce still
pondering and ended by forgetting both
articles, bis attention being diverted by
the sight of two boys playing marbles
on the sidewalks. This was the first
sign of spring Luther bad seen, so It
was no wonder that bis memory played
After be had got home and had eaten
his supper be thought of the mall In his
overcoat pocket. He brought It to the
table and sat down to examine it. There
was the weekly county paper, a poul
try journal, an agricultural monthly,
and last of all a letter.
"Well, now," said Luther, picking It
up, "I wonder who's been writing to
me. I don't know when I've had a let
ter." He looked at It eagerly, held It nearer
his eyes, then farther off. He removed
his glasses and polished them in nerv
ous haste. After replacing them on bis
nose he picked up the letter again and
scanned it narrowly, then he looked
HK STUDIED THK ENVELOPS! WITH RE
over his glasses as if at some person
He sank Into a reverie, out of which
he roused himself with a start to study
the envelope with renewed Interest.
"Mrs. Luther Wilkins," he said, "Mrs,
Luther Wilkins. And I an old bach
elor who never so much as hardly
thought of getting married! Mrs. Lu
ther Wilkins, why, where Is she? And
who Is she?"
"Well, I guess I'll see what's In It."
He Inserted the point of bis knife under
the corner of the envelope flap, then he
"What business have I opening of
her letters?" he asked himself. "I never
did open other folks letters, and
guess I won't begin now." He rose to
his feet and carrying It to the mantel
piece leaned It up against the clock.
He settled himself to his papers, but
thoughts of Mrs. Luther Wilkins kept
Intruding on what ho was reading
about patent nest-boxes, and, under
draining and the news of the village.
Thereafter during all his waking
hours, Mrs. Luther Wilkins was often
in his thoughts. She even haunted his
dreams at times. He wondered what
she was like, and be thought of the
kind of woman he would wish her to
be, and enjoyed himself very much In
Imagining how It would seem to have
her meet him at the door when he camo
In from the fields, and how nice It
would be not to have to get his own
At first he was a little cynical and
told himself that the Imagining was
much more satisfactory than the real
ity would be, but after awhile he
changed his mind, and would sigh
heavily when he came Into his lone
The letter by the clock, too, began to
trouble blui. He had a devouring curi
osity to see what was In It, and be
sides It did not seem Just right to keep
it so long before delivering It.
Oue evening In Juue Luther put on
his best clothes and walked three miles
to see an old schoolmate who had an
unmarried cousin living with him. It
seemed to him that Eliza Elliott fitted
In exactly with his Idea of Mrs. Luther
He came home quite early very much
disappointed. Eliza wouldn't do at all.
He worked doggedly for a month,
trying hard not to think of the dis
quieting subject. It was no use, and
toward the end of July It was observed
that Luther was becoming very neigh
borly. He spent his evenings at differ
ent neighbors' houses, he accepted In
tatlons to tea, he went to church regu
larly and to all Sunday school picnics.
And still he could not And a suitable
owner for the letter.
"I must me terribly fussy," he sighed.
I've got acquainted with about all the
women In town; they're nice women,
every one of them, but somehow they
don't suit me. I guess I'll have to give
It was one cold, raw day In early No
vember that Luther sat at a window
making clumsy attempts at mending a
pair of very ragged socks. Happening
to glance across the road he saw a
woman out In Hammond's yard. She
was busy raking up the fallen autumn
"Letltla Hammond," Luther com
mented, "Bill Hammond's eister. We
don't see much of her lately. She don't
even go to church, there's so many of
Bill's children to look after, and Bill's
wife Is so took up with her clubs and
things. It's hard on Letltla, but she
never finds a word ot fault."
The sock he was mending fell to the
floor, and the wooden egg Inside It
struck with such a loud bang that the
cat started in his sleep. Luintr jUd not
A SAHPLE OF BOER FORTIFICATIONS.
INTERIOR OF THE
Mr. James Hay, formerly president of the Johannesburg Chamber of Mines,
who recently visited London, stated to an interviewer in Cape Town, some time
previously, that when the Boers have had their first big defeat they will go to
Johannesburg and level It with the ground. To do this Oom Paul's faithful
burghers will, of course, have to make use of the fort which for so long a time
has presented a threatening front to the unarmed and helpless inhabitants of
the town. The fort, by the by, was
its origin Is said to have been due to
The fort occupies a commanding
In shape, with two bastions at opposing
23-centimeter quick-firing gun, with
the side looking toward Barnato Park
opposite side towards Johannesburg is
at an angle of 45 degrees. Right and
Under the bastion on the right are
position beneath the other bastion
other magazine. Whether these elaborate preparations for the destruction of
Johannesburg have been made in vain is at present a nice speculative point. It
may be that when the British forces appear before the Gold Reef City Johan
nesburg of the nineties will be no more.
notice. He was standing at the window
." 'That Is best which lleth nearest,' "
he said, solemnly. "What a fool I've
He found his hat and left the house,
almost running across the road. He
took the Iron rake away from Letltla
gently. "That's too hard work for a lit
tle thing like you," be said.
Letltla's blue eyes were full of won
der, but she yielded up the rake
"You'd better go Into the house, too,"
said Luther. "It's cold out here."
No one had been thoughtful of her
before for a long time, and Letltla
couldn't understand It. When Luther
returned the rake she asked him to let
her do something for him.
He carried her his best pair of socks.
She was horrified at their condition, and
mended them in a very artistic man
ner. Luther looked at them In wonder and
reverence. "I'll never wear 'em," be
said, when he was at home again.' "I
wouldn't have let her do It, only I knew
It would make her feel better, aud It
gave me a chance to see her, too."
He found that It was an easy matter
to Invent excuses for seeing her, and
finally, some time In the winter, he
asked her, In fear and trembling, if she
would he Mrs. Luther Wilkins.
. At first she was afraid It" would not
be right to abandon her brother's chil
dren, but ber scruples melted away be
fore the warmth of his eloquence. Then
she confessed that she was tired.
"It Is so long that I have had to take
care of other folks, and It will seem like
heaven to have some one to take care of
So It happened that In a little less
than a year the letter to Mrs. Luther
Wilkins was given to Its rightful owner.'-"Circumstances
over which I had
no control have prevented you from
getting It before," Luther said.
"Why, it's nothing but an advertise
ment of some preparation of cereals,"
she said, when she had opened It
Luther looked blank.
"that's too hard work for a little
THING LIKE YOU," HE SAID.
"I see how It is," she said, after a
moment's thought. "They sent to the
different grocers for lists of their cus
tomers, and then sent these circulars
to their wives."
"Let's keep it," said Luther, softly.
"If it hadn't been for that "
"Yes, we'll keep it," said Letltla,
A Sympathetic Princess.
The following story about the Arch
duchess Valerie of Austria is told by
the lenna correspondent of the Lon
don Morning Post: A short time ago
a 13-year-old schoolboy was summoned
home from his boarding school at Llnz
The lad was without traveling com
panions, and, while waiting on the plat
form at Llnz, began to cry bitterly. His
distress was noticed by a lady In a first
class compartment, who summoned the
guard and had the boy brought to her.
She pnld his excess fare for traveling
first class, and devoted herself to the
task of comforting him and relieving
the tedium of the long Journey to Vienna,
to attend his father's funeral In Vienna.
telling him that she, too, had suffered
much from the loss of a parent, who
had died suddenly and unexpectedly in
a foreign land. The schoolboy was not
a little astonished at -the end of the
journey to learn that the kind-hearted
lady was the Archduchess Valerie,
daughter of the Emperor.
Pekln'a Unenviable Distinction.
The three chief charaetertsltes of
Pekln, the Chinese capital, which most
impress the newly arlved visitor hxe
dust, stench and dogs.
When a dressmaker goes to a bouse,
everytlme she sees the husband she
looks at him in a wiy which seems to
say, "You should have attended to this
long ajfoP -
nnished in the middle of the year and
the ever-to-be-lamented Jameson raid.
position ou top of a hill. It is rectangular
corners. On each bastion is mounted
two flanking Maxims for enfilade fire. On
are four small quick-firing guns. Ob the
the entrance which traverses the rampart
left of this, within the court, are stables,
barracks and a magazine, the corresponding
being occupied by officers' rooms aud an
Illustrated London News.
HOW TO CARE FOR UMBRELLAS
Hint from a Manufacturer Which May
Prolong Their Usefulness.
Manufacturers and Jobbers of urn
brellas say that there were more urn
brellas sold during the past year than
for the past five years. Especially Is
this true in Baltimore of the finer
grades of goods, for which the demand
has been unusually great. Retailers d,d
a remarkably large holiday trade, and,
of course, the manufacturers aud job
bers profited by It.
While Baltimore does not rank high
as a manufacturing center for urn
brellas In point of numbers, Its reputa
tlon depends on the fine quality of
goods made up In this city. It Is est!
mated that over 500 bands are steadily
engaged In the manufacture of umbrel
las In Baltimore, and that an average
of 5,000 complete umbrellas are turned
out every week. During some seasons
the figures are greater or less, but that
Is the average production.
Like many other articles of manu
facture, the making of umbrellas has
been reduced to the assembling of the
parts and turning out the complete
shelter from the rain. One firm makes
the stel tubing which nowadays forms
the "stick" of the umbrellas, another
turns out the ribs, another the various
fancy bandies and so on through the
list. Silks and other materials for the
covers are cut aud sewed In the fac
tory, where the other parts are brought
by the thousand and put together. To
such a degree of perfection has the
machinery been brought for making the
various parts of an umbrella that it is
said that it Is actually cheaper to make
a new umbrella than to repair an old
one. That Is to say, that in the time
taken by a workman to repair an urn
brella-he can turn out probably half a
dozen new ones complete.
Recent sales show that while Bait I
moreans prefer the better qualities of
silk covering for umbrellas, they favor
natural wood handles or those tipped
with pearl for ladles' umbrellas. For
men the demand Is for the combiua
tions In Ivory handles, next to the natu
ral wood sticks and the silver-mounted
A manufacturer gives three points
about the care of umbrellas which will
tend to their lasting longer while In ser
vice. In the first place an umbrella
should not be tightly rolled and then
put in a close cover unless It Is desired
to have the silk cut to pieces In every
fold. Even when lying In stock It Is
said that tightly rolled silk umbrellas
will cut out lu a few weeks. The other
precaution Is to open an umbrella when
It has been wet and let dry wh:ie spread
open. This will prevent the water
gathering In the folds and rotting the
fabric which forms the covering. Bal
Sizes for Flower Pots.
An error very frequently made In re
potting palms and other ornameuta."
plants is In transferring them into pots
entirely too large In comparison with
the one last used, says the Woman's
Home Companion. The sizes of differ
ent pots are calculated by Inches. The
smallest pot In use Is commonly called
by the florist a "thumb-pot," aud meas
ures about one and one-half Inches In
diameter at the top. Into this he pots
many of his newly rooted cuttings, and
as soon as they fill the soil pretty well
with roots be shifts them to the next
size, a two-Inch pot. From this thev
increase, by half laches, and It Is al
ways well to use the next size above
that last used.
After the plant has attained such nm.
portions that It requres something
larger than a nine or ten Inch not. It is
better to use a tub, and Just here is
where the mistake Is often made
much larger tub or pot thau a plant
really requires often retards rather
than advances Its growth. Very often
the florist, wheu he has a plant that
does not seem to be doing well, will re
move It from the pot, shake off the soil
from the roots, aud repot it iuto a size
smaller than It formerly occupied uutil
it starts Into more active growth.
Xew Latin Dictionary.
Fhllologists in Germany have united
to bring out a complete Latin diction
ary, a Thesaurus Lingual Latinae,"
and expect to begin printing next fall.
The standard Is still Forcelliui and Fac
clolatl's "Lexicon Totius Latlnltatis,"
compiled 150 years ago and revised re
peatedly by Italian scholars.
Siamese Fear of Even Numb -rs.
The Siamese have so strong a suner-
stitlon against even numbers that they
will have none of them. The number
of rooms In a house, of windows or
doors in a room, even of rungs on a lad
der, must always be odd.
It Is a great bore to receive a "b, jw
0UH BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokea and JoVcleta that Are Supposed
ta Have Been Recently Born-Saylnga
.,1 Dalnva that Ara Old. Cnrioua and
Laughabla-Tha Week' Humor.
Fenelope Mr. Brown Is the most en
tertalniug man I have met for a long
Aphrodite-Why, I thought hlra very
Penelone Oh. you are mistaken,
Whv, last night he called and I sue
coeded In convincing him that we are
now In the twentieth century. He was
skeptical at first, but ufter listening to
my arguments he admitted that he
was mistaken. Omaha World-Herald
Their Little Game.
Qulun That uilulng-stock company
Ih ou its lust lees.
DeFonte Yes, but they are putting
up a strong bluff to the last.
Oulnu Is that so?
DeFonte Yes, they pay a boy to sit
behind a screen, ring a bicycle bell and
yell "Hello!" Customers naturally
think they are doing a rushing busl
Money No Object.
Doctor You must give your husband
every two hours a half teaspoouful of
The Patient's Wife Oh, doctor, I can
give hlra a whole teaspoonful every
hour! I assure you, we don't have to
economize! Heltere Welt.
"Mv dear." said Oom Faul. after a
visit to the prisoners, "this reminds
me of the Queen's Jubilee."
"How?" said Mrs. K.
"Why,--ve have samples of nearly
every sort of troops in the British
The Savage Bachelor.
"I hardly approve these Mothers'
Congresses," said the youngest board
er. "They're a good thing," said the Sav
age Bachelor. "A Mothers' Congress
gives their poor young ones a chance to
rest." Indianapolis Press.
A Shrewd Girl.
Ella You must have been up late
Inst night; there are rings around your
Stella Well, they are engagement
rings; I sat up with Fred until he pro
"Why are the mules so restless?" in
quired the Boer commander.
"They have Just heard that Hay has
arrived at Pretoria," elucidated the
Banker's Boy De boss thumped de
typewriter hlmself-dls mornln'.
Broker's Boy An' yer stood by an'
let him thump de poor girl? Where's
Mrs. O'Toole Yls, me bye hos lift
Mrs. O'Brlen-An' hos he lift fer
Mrs. O'Toole-No; fer bad.
In the Wee Hours.
They heard a noise In the kitchen and
crept down. He carried a nistol and
she a curtain pole. Then they discov
ered the cause of the noise.
'Did you see that rat lumn out of
the oven?" she gasped, holding her
skirts. "Why didn't you shoot him?"
Because he was Just out of mv
range," he chuckled.
Mother I notice. Ostend. thnt von A'A
not eat any pie at dinner.
Ostend I asked you for a piece, ma.
Mother But I did not hear von. Voi,
should have asked a second time.'
Ostnd But. ma. vou told
to ask for pie a second time.
Bather Funny. " -
Mrs. A. I was Just thinking.
Mrs. Z.-Thlnklng of what, dear?
Mrs. A. How funny It Is for th pin to
sell umbrellas at a clearing sale.
'Didn't you send any of your chick
ens to the poul j-y show?"
No; I've noticed that when a hen
acquires a taste for society she eets
too stuck up to lay eggs."
A Change of Plan.
"The Folderols have recalled their re
"No; Mrs. Folderol chanced her mind.
and concluded she would rather have
the house painted."
Hia Sticking Qualities.
Miss Murray Hill Mr. Homeu-ood to
a regular stick.
Miss Point Breeze You surprise me.
Miss Murray Hill When he Pfllla An
me he sticks in his ehnir lone- after tua
time when he ought to he l,nvin rv.
home. nttsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
In the Side Show.
Old party-WelL well! Nature wort
Manager Yes. an' me an' the An
ders works the public Xew York
'Anything new?" innnirari , ,
1 ' - v i. AC"
porter, as he stood before
"Yes," responded the corpulent lieu
tenant, "a Chinese was found with a
strange wound on the side of his head.
He doesn't know who struck him."
"Aha! Then I'll Just head that The
Mystery of the Chinese Temple.' "
"Lizzie," whispered the. boyish vole,
through the knothole, "uie brain l8
wurkln night an' day thlnkln' of you."
"'Taint union, den!" piped the girl
whose father lays bricks.
South African Myatery,
Captain Corporal, what became of
that tall recruit?
Corporal Goodness only knows, Cap
Jit r an ouuv.iu .... i " v. camcutj fljj'
asked for some cotton to stick In hl
ear. Somebody gave him some gun.
cotton an we nam i seen mm since.
Wouldn't Take OfTenae.
Clerk You can't get a room for him
here. He's drunk.
Wytte (supporting his "weary"
friend) I know he Is. What of thnt?
Clerk (scornfully) This Is a temper,
a nee hotel.
Wytte Well, he's too drunk to know
the difference. Philadelphia Press.
"It's a very unsatisfactory story!"
"Oh, very! I've read the first chapter
and the last chapter and I don't know
yet how It turns out!" Life.
Ida I think Walter Is awful mean.
May Why, dear?
Ida He wears those horrid mouse
colored mocha gloves. He dropped one
on the floor and it looked so natural
screamed. Chicago News.
Miles They say it is good luck to
find a pin on the ground with the point
Giles Yes; but It's better luck to flua
the head toward you when you happen
to sit down on one.
A Sherlock Holmes Deduction.
Customer You should stable your
cows in wet weather.
Milkman How do you know but I
Customer The milk has a rain fla
vor. The Day of Beat.
The tailor I do all my pressing work
The grocer When do you do the rest?
. The tailor On Sunday, of course.
Nuta for Them.
"Well, well!" exclaimed the field
cornet, peering Into the darkness, "here
comes another one of those British
night attacks. They're getting to be
"Exactly," replied the Boer general,
"so we'll shell them." Philadelphia
Hit the Mail.
"What did the poor man say when he
was accused of taking the cattle?" in
quired the tourist.
"The right thing, stranger," re.
sponded Amber Tete.
"What was it?"
"I'll be hanged !" Ne w York World.
Not Hia Fault.
"Sir," began the tramp, as he stepped
in front of a pedestrian, "I've seen bet
ter days, aud "
"Well," interrupted the other, "you
needn't blame me for it. I'm not tlia
Satisfied with the Old Kind. -
Bobbs I see that a man has invent
ed a typewriter that you Just sit down
and talk to it and It writes out every
thing you say.
Dobbs I guess I'll keeD mine. She
does not write everything I say, and
I'm glad of it
A Hasty Retreat.
"Why did the young minister Ipavb
"The Maiden Ladies' Home Mission.
ary Society took up the task of finding
him a suitable wife." Philadelphia
Ignorance Not Bliss.
"De lack of eddlcatlon Is an orfnl
ting," remarked Wrnggy Wriggles,
"W'en did yer find dat out?" asked
"De Udder day. I fiwlned n hn-r from
de freight station and lugged it a mile
inter ae woods. It was marked 'S-o-n-n.'
r' T t'ouf' - ' -
Little brother Oh! that's when a
thing is a back number. Puck.
The Child Wae Saved.
Not that we wish the .u
be 'generally adopted-for bicyclists
also have a right to iiieh w
it proves the resourcefulness of woman,
we copy this Incident from the Chicago
- w v iuUg ftiUUg
with his head down.
The little one hnd toddle intn
the road, and 'stood directly In his path. .
xue woman saw them both, and was
too much frightened to move A mit.lr-
witted man would have had time to
spring into the road and pull the little
one out of the WAV. hilt the n-iimnn
Suddenly she screamed Tf v., no
ordinary scream, but an ear-splitting
snneK or despair.
The bicyclist was so startled that he
looked seven ways at once, lost control
of his wheel hit the curb, and didn't
know where ho was for fully ten min
ntes. The child was saved.
A woman is not always so helpless a
she looks, - . '