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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (March 2, 1900)
Qoverntnent Will Attempt to Indue tb
Adoption of Conservative Meth
' ' , 'od of Lumbering.
The attemot of the government (o
induce the adoption of conservative
methods of lumbering in order to prs
. iieive the national resources, and the
responsive interest taken by timber
owners, have brought up many interest
ing legal questions, and the division of
forestry fias found it necessary to make
extensive researches in this direction.
As a result, a circular dealing with the
laws which affect forests is in course
of preparation and will be sent free to
persons interested. One of the most
important points brought out is the
recognition by law of the prospective
value of growing timber. The possi
bility of profitably carrying on lumber
ing with systematic provision for future
cutting depends upon this point. It
has nsually been held that when, by
tresspass, or by unscrupulous cutting
by contractors, timber has been re
moved contrary to the owner's wish,
he could recover only iU stumpage
value. As forestry usually requires
that a certain number of trees of cer
tain size be left, it follows that an un
scrupulous contractor could easily upset
the plans of years with little fear of
punishment. The supreme couit, how
ever, has recently ruled that the differ
ence In value between logged and un
tagged land depends not only on the
value of the timber removed, but on
its probable Increase had it been left
Improvements In Alaska.
' Captain W. It. Abercrombie, head of
the government exploration party,
which last season did much work in
the Copper river country and began
opening up a military road from Tort
Valdes to Fort Egbert on the Yukon,
arrived in Seattle, en route north to
continue his work. It is the purpose
of the government, he says, to con
struct 2,400 miles of telegraph line in
Alaska, and complete the military
road. He returns this year with in-
creased responsibilities. The road, he
says, will be completed during this
season from its present terminus, 80
miles inland, to Tanana, about two
thirds of the distance to the Yukon
The telegraph line will be built from
Port Valdes along the road to Fort
Kgbert and thence down the Yukon to
Among other northern improvements,
he says, a large government wharf at
Valdes has been decided upon.
An Kitstern syndicate, headed by
Henry Villard, be says, is now having
surveys made along the general course
of the military road with a view oi
building a line.
Jtank fur liullnrd.
Aftor many vain efforts on the part
of the citizens, Ballard has finally
cured a national bank, to be cajled the
llullard First National bank, with
capitalization of $50,000. The bank
will be founded and intimately connect
ed with the Seattle National, whose
cashier, 8. Foster Kelly, is now arrang
iug the details of the new institution,
K. W. Andrews, president of the Seat
tle National, will be the head of the
now bank. Mr. Ko"y will be vice
president, and the cashier awl other
ollivers are yet to be announced.
North wait Motel.
A condensed milk factory is undei
consideration for Iiillsboro.
There were 1,800 visitors at Crater
Lake last year.
The Eugone water company has been
reorganized, five of the old stock
holders selling 220 shares to four new
men for $22,000.
The Dalles business men will take up
the project of establishing a fruit and
vegetable caunery there when the
scouring mill project shall be off their
An effort is being made to construct
a telephone Hue from Tillamook to
North Yamhill, by way of the toll
road. It would cost, it is estimated,
Allen Edwards pleaded guilty to the
charge of obtaining money by false pre
tenses at The Dalles, and was sen
teucod to the penitentiary for ono year.
Ho obtained $2 at the Umatilla house
on a fraudulent check.
Sheepmen oi Enterprise, Oi., are re
fusing $5 a head by the band for good
ewes, says the Pendleton Tribune,
One man refused ifa.oo lor spring
lambB, and another paid $5.50 for 50
head of first-class sheep. Gouts sell fur
$5 a head.
At a publio meeting in Klamath
Falls, the proposition to donate $150,
000 worth of laud to the Oregon Mid
land railroad, which proposed to build
to that town, were aooepted. and com
mittees were appointed to arrange the
It is reported by a gentleman resid
ing in Ashland that instead of rebuild
ing the woolen mill at that place it is
likely that the company will build a
wooien miu at mamacii fans, says
the Klamath rails Kepublican. It is
am ued that such a mill here wpuld, on
account of the long and mountainous
road intervening, be far easier of
access for the wool growers of Klamath
and Lake counties, from whioh counties
te Ashland mill derived its main
Spokaue wheelmen have organized an
association, admitting without dues
every bicycle rider who has a license
The Weyeihausor syndicate will
this year pay taxes on 169,500 acres
of timberland in Chehalis county. The
18U9 tax amounts to $17,086.42.
Citizens of Ooldendale have ordered
10 pair of Mongollau pheasant, and
will endeavor to have that desirable
game bird well established in Klickitat
couaty this year.
Mrs. Bertha Lambert, tried in the
superior court at Colfax ami found
guilty of assault on T. II. Wilson, a
school teacher at Winona, was lined
$23 and costs, the whole amounting to
In the Olympia high school, a
teacher was explaining the principle
on which a steam radiator worked, and
just as he reached the point of explain
ing how explosions may occur, the
radiator in the room exploded. No
one waa injured.
There are 9,363,720 Christian En-deavoren.
SPKINQ TRADE ENLARGING.
General Distribution Jt ofralrly Ooo
Eradstreet's reivew oi trade aaya
General distribution of trade is
fairly good volume, although affected
by weather conditions and holidays
Spring business is enlarging at many
markets East and West, the presenc
of buyers being encouraged by special
passenger rates. A softening of pricei
of speculatively dealing staples is to be
noted, but the reactions are of narrow
Foreign demand for wheat remain!
small, American stocks are large, and
farmers are reported holding snppliei
back, and crop-damage scares are dis
counted by mild weather. Tht
strength of corn has been a feature, for
eign demand being of good proportions,
and this has furnished a supporting
element in the wheat market.
There is a larger volume of bu sines?
in pig iron at some markets, but lest
at others, and prices of that product
are quite steady.
Structural iron continues active, in
dicating heavy building operations tht
coming spring and summer. Foreign
iron markets retain all their old
strength, and lower ocean freight
would, it is argued, bring about
great enlargement of our export trade,
Copper is quieter, bnt steady in pric
and tin notec a further advance in sym
patliy with foreign speculation. Hard
ware is improving in distribution at
Business failures for the week nam
ber 163, as compared with 199 a week
ago, and 220 in 1899.
The strength of staple values is
feature of Canadian trade. Retailers
will carry over some stocks of winter
clothing. Industrial activity is very
marked, Canadian factories running to
their fullest capacity. Bussiness fail
ores for the week number 28, against
85 last week, and 89 in this week
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Onions, new, $2.252.50 per sack.
Lettuce, hot house, 40c per doz.
Potatoes, new, $18 20.
Beets, per sack, 75 85c.
Turnips, per sack, 60c.
Carrots, per sack, 50c.
Parsnips, per sack, 76 85c.
Cauliflower, 75c$l per dozen.
Cabbage, native and California,
$1.0001.25 per 100 pounds.
. Apples, $1. 251.50 per box.
Prunes, 60o per box.
Butter Creamery, 81o per pound
dairy, 1722c; ranch, 20o per pound
Cheese Native. 16o.
Poultry 18 14c; dressed, 1415o
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $12.00
choice Eastern Washington timothy,
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton.
$21; whole, $22.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25
blended straights, $3.00; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; era
ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat
flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $14.00;
shorts, per ton, $16.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $20.00 per ton;
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton, $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef
steers, 7j8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 74c; trimmed, 9c veal, 8
Hams Large, 18c; small, l$Hl
breakfast bacon, 12 c; dry salt sides,
Wheat Walla Walla. 63 54c;
Valley, 58c; Bluestem, 50o per bushel.
Hour Best grades, $3.00; itrahain.
$2.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 35 36c; choice
gray, 84o per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $14 15.00;
brewing, $17.00 18.00 per ton.
Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid
dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per
Hay Timothy, $1011; e.lover,$7
7.50; Oregon wild hay, $07 per ton.
Butter -lancy creamery, 6055c;
iecouds, 4245c; dairy, 80g87)c;
Eggs 1 2 1 3 o per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c;
Young America, 14c; new cheese lOo
per pound. ,
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.50
60 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs,
3.503.50; geese, $0.5O7.5O for old;
M-606.50; ducks, $5.005.5J per
uozen; turkeys, live, lOdillo per
Potatoes 5080o per sack; sweets.
32.Vo per pound.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 90c;
per sack; garlic, 7o per pound; cab
bage, l,Ho per pound; parsnips, $Ij
onions, $1.502.BO; carrots, $1.
Hops 88o per pound
Wool Valley, 1213o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 814c; mohair, 27
80o per pound.
Mutton Cross, lest sheep, wethers
and ewes, 4 c; dressed mutton, 7
7Ko per pound; lambs, 7.ljOpor pound.
Hogs Oross, choice heavy, $5.00:
light and feeders, $4.60; dressed,
5.60 6.00 per 100 pounds.
Beef dross, top steers, $4. 00(34.60:
cows, $8. 60 4.00; dressed beef, 6
7?o per pound.
eal Largo, 78o; small.
JJn'c per pound.
Ban Franoitoo Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 1215orer
pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; Val
ley, 20 22c; Northern, 1012o.
Hops 1899 crop, ll13o Ber
Butter Fancy creamery 22(22i'c:
lo seconds, 2121ic; fancy dairy, 19
(3uc; no seconds, 17 18o per pound.
r.ggs btore, 12 14c; fancy ranch.
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.50
10.00; bran, $13.00 13.00.
Hay Wheat $6. 50 9 .50: wheat and
at $8.609.00; best barley $5.00
r.00; alfalfa, $6.00 7.50 per tou;
itraw, 8045o per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose, 80 85c; Ore
gon Burbauk8, 75o1.10: river Bur-
banks, 60 75c; Salinas Burbanks,
SOY 1,10 per sack.
Citrus Fruit Orances. Valencia.
$3.75(33.25; Mexican limes, $4.00
6.00; California lemons 75c$1.60;
do choice $1.75 3.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
1.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates, 6 6. So per
VEGETABLES ARE OLD
DATE BACK TO OLD TESTAMENT
Origin of the Commoner Varieties of
Garden Track Only Maize and the
Ground Artichoke Are Native of
North America Grocer Enlightened.
"How many housekeeper" picking
over the vegetables on the stall know
anything about theni?" asked a con
templative customer of a friend, as be
watched his green grocer fill a small
measure with potatoes.
"Lots of them," promptly replied the
other marketer. "Why, here are the
potatoes In my hand, for Instance. They
are native American. I guess Sir Wal
ter Raleigh Introduced them to Eu
"I guess be never ate one, for in bis
day they were not considered fit to eat
They went to Europe from the hills of
South America, and a strange matter
of fact, when you come to think of It,
Is that In the United States, where,
barring a few sections, vegetables grow
In greater abundance and beauty than
any other part of the world, none save
maize and the ground artichokes are
"Nonsense!" ejaculated the amazed
"No nonsense about It," continued the
contemplative customer. "Europe,
Asia. Africa and South America are
all more richly endowed than we.
used to think the watermelon was ours,
but bless you! the North African tribes
grew the big, Juicy fellows and gave
us our first seeds. As to the muskmel
on, it Is a vegetable of such ancient
lineage that, like the cabbage and let
tuce, nobody knows Just who were
their first wild progenitors. The mel
on, at any rate, came out of Persia as
a developed table delicacy, while the
Adam of the cabbage family Is agreed
by botanists to have flourished way
back there In Central Asia, where they
say the Caucasian race came from.
The Romans ate cabbage salad, and,
according to count, there are nearly as
many varieties of this sturdy old green
goods as there are different races of
"There Is another Roman delicacy,"
continued the customer, pointing to a
box of beets. "They do aay that the
Greek philosophers thought a dish of
boiled beets, served up with salt and
oil, a great aid to mental exercise. For
my part, though, I don't know a vege
table that should be prouder of Its fam
ily history than the radish. Radishes
came from China, but a scientific Jour
nal the other day announced the dis
covery, from a translation of Egyptian
hieroglyphics, that Pbaraoh fed his
pyramid builders on radishes. He even
went so far as to spend 1,900 silver
talents In order to regale bis masons
with the crisp and spicy root. Again,
If you read the Old Testament careful
ly, you will be sure to come across the
announcement that in Egypt the chil
dren of Israel ate melons, beets, onions
and garlic, and evidently, In traveling
through the wilderness, Moses had a
great deal of difficulty In persuading
them to cease yearning after these
"Besides the melons and peaches and
geraniums," continued the garrulous
customer, "for all of which we have
to thank productive Persia, water
cress comes from ber valleys and
brooks and she taught the world how
to grow and head lettuce. However,
the Roman gourmands, who adopted
both these salads, ate green peas and
stringed beans that their gardeners
found growing In France and South
Germany, and cucumbers were as pop
ular with them as with the Jews and
"To Arabia honor is due for the burr
artichoke. They ate it for liver diffi
culties and, as a matter of fact, there
Is no vegetable so good for men and
women who lead a sedentary life, just
as carrots, that grew first In Belgium,
are an admirable tonic for the com
plexion, spinach for the blood, potatoes
for the hair and celery for the nerves.
Rhubarb, they say, was never known
until the fifteenth century, when the
Russlaus found it on the banks of the
Volga, and If you will believe It, the
only European people that appreciate
the egg plant as we do are the Turks.
North Africa first produced this fruit;
In France It Is eaten raw often as not,
and In obstinate England they use It
for decoration. However, the potato
hud to make a desperate struggle for
popularity, and for nearly a century
after It was Imported and grown in
Europe nobody could be persuaded to
touch It. Finally Farmentler gave it
a boom that In two centuries has not In
the least diminished, and twice this
little tuber has saved Europe from
what promised to be a cruel famine."
Whereupon the customer hurried off
down the street, leaving the green gro
cer staring at bis stock of truck with
refreshing expression of pride and
Interest. St. Louis Globe-Deuioerat.
PLAIN SPEECH IN A PRAYER
The Rev. Mr. Tordan'a Petition in Be
half of Wicked People.
A sensation was created in Raleigh,
N. C, says the News and Observer, in
church circles by the Rev. J. M. Jor
dan. Mr. Jordan, who has preached
the gospel in nearly every Baptist
hurch u the State at one time or an
other, has been In Raleigh for some
time, superintending the publication of
a history of his life and labors.
Suuduy morning he atteuded the
''Irst Baptist Church, and was called
on by Dr. Carter, at the conclusion of
his sermon on "Christian Growth," for
prayer. And such a prayer It was!
The venerable preacner, with bowed
bead, seemed to be talking familiarly
with God, telling him of the sins of the
people, man by man, and asking the
Almighty for mercy and Indulgence till
they could be called to repentance.
"O, God." he said, "thou knowest the
majority of Christians are like wasps-
larger at birth than at any other time.
And they grow smaller and meaner as
time goes ou. Thou knowest, also, that
great many members high up in the
church driuk beer and whisky and go
to dances. O Lord, tbey call them ger
mans. but that's just to fool the peo
p'e. They are regular old dances
nothing in the world but fiddling and
dancing. We read the paper this morn
ing and there they bad printed the
names of all the gall and thelo part
ners. O Lord, have mercy on these
"Then, O Lord, a lot of tbem are gl
Ing card parties around here, going into
saloons, visiting places of Ill-fame, and
playing the devil generally. No wonder
that when they "ask a sinner to turn
from his evil way be replies, 'Go 'way,
you old devil, we know you.' We heard
only this past week of a prominent
church member who bad been drinking
beer ten years and who went borne and
found bis little boy dead drunk and
as limber as a dlsbrag. O Lord, have
mercy on these miserable sinners, who
nretend tbey are following thee, but
who go around with their breath smell
Ing like an old swill tub. We have
little grandchild. Lord, that we were
thinking of sending to school, but,
Lord, this is such a degraded, fearful
wicked city, that we are afraid to send
her here. Then there Is a college here
where the young men are encouraged
to give dances. O, Lord, have mercy on
the president of that Institution.
"Thou knowest there are only a few
righteous people In Raleigh. All the
rest are wicked, and were It not for
these few good people the whole city
would go to the devil. God would rain
down fire and brimstone and destroy
It like Sodom and Gomorrah."
Gen. Buller was once In company
with Lord Charles Beresford coming
down the Nile, and as their boat ap
proached the First Cataract a sharp
discussion arose as to which was the
proper channel to take. The soldier
advised one, the sailor another, but In
tbe end Buller's channel was followed
with perfect success. "You eee, I was
right," tbe General exclaimed, exult
antly. "What of thatr retorted Beres
ford; "I knew It was tbe right one my
self, but I only recommended the other
because I knew you would oppose wnat-
ever I said."
When Otis Skinner, the actor, played
an engagement In Memphis recently,
his matinee performance of "The Liars"
was graced by the patronage of a bevy
of the season's most attractive debu
tantes. After the curtain went down
the manager escorted tbe debutantes
back of the stage, where they met and
conversed with the actor. "We enjoyed
everything very much," said one of
tbem; "but, do you know, Mr. Skinner,
we could scarcely hear a word you
said?" "Now, that's certainly strange,"
replied the actor; "I could hear every
thing you ladles said."
An old farmer who was In the habit
of eating what was set before him,
asking no questions, dropped into a cafe
for dinner. The waiter gave him the
dinner card and explained that it was
the list of dishes served for dinner that
day. Tbe old gentleman began at the
top of the bill of fare and ordered each
thing In turn until he had covered about
one-third of It. The prospect of what
was still before him was overpowering,
yet there were some things at the end
that he wanted to try. Finally he called
the waiter and, confidentially marking
off the spaces on the card with his In
dex finger, said: "Look here, I've et
from thor to thar. Can I skip from thar
to thar and eat on to the bottom?"
Gen. F. V. Greene, when he arrived In
Manila with re-enforcements, went on
board the Olympia to pay bis respects
to Admiral Dewey. After the two men
had exchanged compliments, Dewey
said: "Come Into my cabin. General.
want to show you my family." In
one corner of the cabin was a great pile
of photographs, dozens upon dozens,
and each was the picture of a baby boy.
There were fat babies and lean babies,
pretty babies and ugly babies, sad ba
hies and smiling babies. "What In the
world are these?" asked Gen. Greene,
somewhat bewildered. "Why." said
Dewey, "It's Just the family of my
namesakes. They are Jonses, Smiths,
and Jenkinses, but every one's a George
Dewey, and their parents want me to
Here are three anecdotes from Sir
Algernon West's "Reminiscences:"
Lord Granville told us of D'Orsay's
being at a dinner at Disraeli's which
was not of a kind to suit the fashion
able gourmet, and where everything
had been cold. At the end of the din
ner there was brought In some half-
melted Ice In a dish. 'Thank heaven!'
said D Orsay, 'at last we have got
something hot.' When Lady Blessing-
ton sent U orsay to complain of some
delay on the part of her publishers, Ot
ley & Saunders, he used very strong
language. A dignified man In a high,
white neckcloth, who was listening to
him, said: 'Count d'Orsay, I would
sooner lose Lady Blesslngton's patron
age than submit to such personal
abuse.' 'There was nothing personal,'
said the Count; 'if you are Otley, then
danw Saunders; if you are Saunders,
then damn Otley.' Lord Westbury, on
becoming solicitor general In Lord Pal
merston's government, was called upon
by the committee of the Conservative
Club to resign his membership. Before
obeying, he presented himself and ad
dressed them. He had a small and a
mincing or finicky voice. Some one at
the end of the room called out: 'Speak
upH 'I should have thought,' he said,
'that the ears of any one In this com
mittee were long enough to have heard
The better class of Chinese women
have at least the natural degree of cu
riosity, while not wanting in friendly
attentions. An English lady says of
"The women flock around and beg
me to take off my gloves and my hat,
that tbey may see how my hair Is
done, and the color of my hands. Then
some old woman Is sure to squeeze my
feet, to see If there Is really a foot filling
tip all those big boots. Tbey are very
friendly and bring out chairs and
benches before their cottage doors, and
beg us to sit down, and offer us tea, or,
If they have not got that ready, hot
in Eastern manufacturer advertise
a soap that will remove spots from a
man a reputation. The principal ingr
dieut In It la probably ly
A REMARKABLE FINANCIER.
A Chicago Man Whoee Liabilities
Amount to Over 99,000,000.
A Chleaso man remarkable In tbe
world of finance It Francis P. Owlngs,
He Is remarkable not for his' vast
wealth, but for tbe enormous debts b
amassed, bis liabilities amounting to
exactly $5,504,917. Tbe fact that he
wes this huge sum makes the situation
more notable than If be bad accumu
la ted tbe amount In tbe same period, a
decade. While It Is, to the majority, a
hard matter to become rich, It Is grant
ed that it Is easier of accomplishment
than to get so deenly In debt as bas
The story of tbe man who deals In
debts so splendidly and who bas failed
on tbe most magnificent scale ' yet
known Is a part of Chicago's history
Francis P. Owlngs Is the man who orlg-
FRANCIS P. OWIKOt.
Inated the Idea of using tbe nlnety-nlne-
year lease as a basis for building opera
tions. He Invented tbe process and put
up at least thirty buildings In the busi
ness district of the city. For ten years
the theory which he originated con
trolled rent estate values In tbe down
town district and led to the erection of
three-quarters of the skyscrapers In
Chicago. Owlngs started practically
without a dollar, but his dealings In the
business world brought him so prom
inently before tbe public as a success
ful promoter that be can, as soon as bis
affairs In bankruptcy courts are set
tied, secure unlimited capital for a new
It was he who brought to the West
the Idea of building skyscrapers. Ar
chitects refused, owing to wind pres
sure and to the quicksand formation
upon which downtown buildings rested,
to be responsible for damages In case
tbe buildings were wrecked, but Ow
lngs accepted the responsibility and
they were successfully erected.
Owing to unfortunate circumstances,
Owlngs was obliged to fall and. while
others have profited by his business sa
gacity and become rich, he Is to-day
acting as clerk In a broker's office. That
his career will end tn bankruptcy court
Is not thought possible, as be has shown
himself to be a financier of the first
order and one of tbe most remarkable
men the West has ever known.
MAIL WAGONS OF ODD DESIGN
Five Queer-Looking Vehicles Pur
chased by Poatoflice Collectors.
Five mail collection wagons of a style
never before seen In Kansas City have
been bought by tbe mall collectors of
the Kansas City postofflce. These mall
carts are very small and queer-looking,
There Is a high box In front for tbe let
ters and a low platform behind for the
driver. Box and platform are covered
ONE OF THE NEW MAIL WAGONS.
with a narrow cover. Tbe collector
may sit on a stool behind tbe mall box,
When be Jumps from a cart to open
a street box the stool, by the operation
of a spring, drops out of the way.
The men who collect the mall receive
the same salaries as letter-carriers,
with an additional $300 a year for buy
Ing horses and wagons for collecting
mall. 1 bese new wagons cost $75 each,
Candy for tbe Soldiers.
Candy of good quality, consisting of
mixed chocolate creams, lemon drops,
cocoa a ut maroons and acidulated fruit
drops, bas been added to the regular
ration of the American soldier. One
New York firm has shipped more than
fifty tons of confectionery during tbe
past year for the troops In the Philip
pines, Cuba and Porto Rico. The use
of candy as an army ration originated
in some experiments on tbe diet of the
troops conducted by the German gov
ernment ten years ago. They showed
that the addition of candy and choco
late to the regular ration greatly lin
proved the health and endurance of the
troops using It Since that time the
German government has Issued cakes
of chocolate and a limited amount of
other confectionery. The Queen for
warded five hundred thousand pounds
of chocolate In half-pound packages as
a Christmas treat for the troops In the
Transvaal. American Jam manufactur
ers are considering a movement to add
jam to the army ration. It having been
found wholesome for the British army.
Opal and Bad Luck.
The superstition associating opaU
with baleful Influence is all the talk ot
Hagerstown. Katherlne Relmshue. a
young society woman, became engaged,
and her fiance presented her with an
opal ring. She was superstitious, but
finally accepted the ring. Her uneasi
ness grew Into fear that the stone por
tended some calamity. Her lover of
ferd to exchange the ring for another
but she declared the mischief was al
ready wrought Shortly after receiving
the ring she was sitting before an open
fire warming her hands. Suddenly the
atone burst Within a month after tbe
bursting of the opal her lover died sud
denly. Indianapolis special to Chicago
The suitor for a girl s hand ought to
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-Sayings that Ars Cheer
fol to Old or Young-Funny Selec
tions that Ton Will Enjoy.
"You claim you were Insane when
you proposed to Miss Autumnleaf,"
said the lawyer to his client, who posed
as the defendant In a breach-of-promlse
suit. "Can you prove it?"
"No proof will be required," replied
the victim of circumstances.
"Why not?" asked the limb of tbe
"Because," answered the other, "the
minute the Jury gets a glimpse of tbe
plaintiff's face the case will be dis
missed." Love's Yonng Dream.
She (on their wedding tour)-What to
the whistle blowing for, dearest?
He I don't know, darling; but It
must be for either a station or a tun
nel. She Oh, I do hope It's a tunnel
"Poor old Jones, the grocer, died early
this morning," said the village editor's
"Huh!" exclaimed the local opinion
molder, "he's been dead for years."
"Been dead for years!" echoed the
astonished wife. "Why, what do you
"Just what I said," replied the v. e.
"Any man In business who doesn't ad
vertise Is a dead one."
Brown I bear Jones Is looking
around for new quarters.
Smith Oh, I guess he Isn't particular
about their newness. He borrowed an
old one from me this morning. New
BE I TER IN
Carrye They say she has given up advocating "woman's rights."
Cholly Yes. She goes In for "women's lefts."
Carrye What are they?
Joys of Matrimony.
Wife I met an old acquaintance to
day, Mr. Meeker. You remember he
was your rival for my hand.
Husband Yes; I hate that man.
Wife You shouldn't hate him Just be
cause he used to love me.
Husband Oh, that Isn't the reason. I
bate him because be didn't marry you.
"Do you think a prize fighter has a
right to call himself a gentleman?"
'Er there Isn't one within hearing,
Is there?" Indianapolis Press.
How It Happened.
"So she ran away with him?"
"I think she did. From what I have
seeu of him I don't think he had gump
tion enough to run away with her."
A Lesson in Arithmetic.
Ellphalet Uncle Ephrlm, If yo' kin
toeck fow 6hlrts outen three yahds,
how many shirts kin yo' git from one
Uncle Ephrlm Well honey, hit de
pends on whose yahd yo's In.
A Weather Prophet.
Silas Whiffle The Indications is that
this Is agoin to be a hard winter.
Drummer Are the muskrats Duttine
in a supply of coal?
Silas Whiffle I don't know as tew
that; but our county Jail Is flllin' up
with tramps. Puck. .
A Training; School.
Meeks Stone always speaks well of
Weeks Merely a force of habit
Meeks How so?
Weeks He's a marble cutter, and his
specialty is cutting epitaphs on grave
stones. Cause for Worry.
I'm always worried when Henrv h.
gins saving string."
"It makes me think he has been dolns
something extravagant In business."
Mr. Gruraps-The Ladles' Journal
says a woman should make herself aa
attractive to her husband after mar
riage as she did before.
Mrs. Grumps Huh! My father al
ways gave me plenty of money to make
myself attractive with. - You don't
New York Weekly.
f . m . u rAt
Bllktns Do you remember that freck,"
le-faced, snub-nosed Ellen Brown "that f
used to go to school with us?
Blvena I never thought she' wai i
freckle-faced or snub-nosed. I alwayt f
thought she was pretty. What became '
Bllklns I married her. Glad to know
that you took my view of her. it's a l
pleasure to get ahead of these joke
writers once In a while. Omaha World. I
Wedded to Realism.
"See here," said the stage manager,
"your manuscript calls for a different
servant girl In each act. That meant
three salaries where one would be suffl.
dent. Why not have one servant girl?"
"My dear fellow," replied the play
wright, "you forget that lama realist.
Two weeks are supposed to elapse be
tween each act." Philadelphia Press.
DIs man aln' much fo' drlnkln', but It
looks powful like he'd hab to git along
to-night wlf nothln but a cocktail.
' Very Remarkable. I
Qulnn That's a strange case.
Qulnn Why, Jones has a cold In his
bead and he can't think about anything
A Safe Inference.
Xodd We haven't much of a dlnnei
to-night, but you're welcome.
Todd How do you know what you
are going to have?
Nodd Well, we had roast beef yes
Corrected by Buttone.
When the Chicago politician ad
journed to his room In the Boston hotel
he Immediately touched the electric
"Boy," said he to the youth in uni
form, "bring m a pitcher of Ice water.
. "The word Is foreign to us, sir. We
"No ice water?" j
i-o, sir." r
"Well, what In thunder Is that pitcher I
"Iced water, sir. Would you try soma !
of it1?" '
A Damon and Pythias Affair.
'Talk about true friendship," said tba
man who Is Just getting over the grip;
"there's Smith. I've known him for
over thirty years, and he's the only per-,
son of my acquaintance who never sug
gested an unfailing remedy." Phila
They Don't Agree.
It would be a good deal easier to love
our neighbor If bis hobby were not
chickens and ours were not flower beds.
"He's dead In love with her."
"Well, do you wonder? She
He Didn't Know Then.
"Now, what on earth did she mean
by telling him she dearly loved rainy
days?: Surely she didn't waut him to
think her sentimental?"
"Oh, no! She knew well enough that
sentiment Is out of date. She wanted
him to get the Idea that her hair curled
Promise Cheerfully Given.
Hamphat Tragicus I give my fare
well performance to n"ght Will you
Long-suffering friend Gladly.
Muggins Topnotes sings with a great
deal of expression.
Buggins I should say so. I once
heard him sing "Rocked In the Cradle
of the Deep," and It positively made me
sick. Philadelphia Record.
In consequence of having abused out
sight by over-application, or reading or
writing by gas or candle light when
our eyes are weary, many of us have
to adopt eyeglasses at a comparatively
early age. What should be done at the
first sign of falling sight is to consult
an oculist at once. Eyes that are
weak and become bloodshot under very
little strain should never be taxed se
verely by black and white work,
whether It be in the form of needle
work, pen and ink. books or musical
sight reading. Whenever the eyes feel
tired, refresh them at once by closing
them for a few moments and letting
them rest As green Is the most rest
ful color to the eye, let your lamp shade
be green. . The finest tonic for the eyes
is cold water. Cold tea also makes an
excellent bath for weak eyes.
The most delightful feature of a
sleigh ride on a cold night is tbe arrival
at your destination.
Some of tbe political complexions an
not even skin deep. , -f