SUGAR BEETS.
Conclusion! From KiperlmenU Com
ducted by Oref on Agricultural Sta
tion lnduktry in Washington.
The Oregon agricultural experiment
ptation at Corvallls has issued a pam
phlet in which it presents the conclu
sions reached after five years of investi
gation concerning beet sugar produc
tion in Oregon. It says three sections
of the state are exceptionally well
adapted to the industry, viz.: Union
county in the vioinity of La Grande;
Malheur county, inthe vicinity, of On
tario, and Arcadia;"jaekson county, in
the vioinity of Medford, possessing as
it does a large area capable of produc
ing a very large supply of beets.
Water, fuel and limoHtouo are easily
and cheaply obtainable in each lo
cality. The moHt serious obstacle iu any ol
these localities is the limited number
of people available for field help at
short notioe, especially vould this be
true in Malheur county.
Western Oregon is not well adapted
to the industry on account of the early
full rains and a soil which is very
heavy and sticky, and tenacious to the
beet when wot, and it also lacks a
ch-mp lime supply.
lieet growing in Malheur county
would have to be under a systom of ir
rigation similar to that in Utah.
If beets are planted in the middle ol
April either in eastern or southern Ore
gon nothing is gained by delaying har
vest luter than the first week in fc'op
temler. Tbe Original Klein Wanzlebener and
the Elite Klein Wanz.lobener have
proven themselves well adapted to the
courtitions in the Grande Konde valley,
and have both given good results in
Jackson county. The former has given
the better results in the latter place.
Each has given hotter results in each
place than the Yilmorin.
In eastern Oregon beets may be left
in the ground quite late without sen
ous loss from second growth.
Beets for sugar production should not
be planted on alkali soils.
Beets may be allowed to grow much
larger here than in Germany and still
hold an excellent per cent of sugar.
The hill lands of Jackson county are
not well adapted to the industry.
The establishment of a sugar factory
makes possible a most excellent oppor
. tuuity for a high development of the
dairy industry. This is of no mean
consequence when it is remembered
that all three of the localities which
present favorable conditions for tho in
dustry produce immense quantities of
alfalfa, and yet ship in dairy products
in large amounts. Why not produce
them at home and supply the neighbor
ing sections?
The establishment of a sugar factory
means also the development of a large
fuel and lime industry.
Waverly Sugar Factory.
The new sugar factory at Waverly,
Spokane county, Washington, began
operations December 0. This is the
first beet sugar factory to be built in
this state, and the second in tho Pacific
Northwest. The farmers in the vicinity
of the factory raised about 400 acres of
beets this year, the yield being 4 to 12
tons per acre. D. O. Corbin, of Spo
kane, owner of the factory is paying
$4 per ton for beets containing 12 to 14
per cent of sugar and 83 1-8 cents per
ton additional for each per cent ol
sugar avove 14. The average price for
the entire crop is about $4.50 per ton.
Taking the average yield as eight
tons, half way between the extremes,
this world give a gross return of $30
per acre. The cost per acre of the
beets delivered at the factory is in the
neighborhood of $25 to $30. This
leaves some profit to the average beet
grower, and considerable to those
whose beets give yields of 10 or 12
tons per acre. Another year, when
the farmors know more of beet culture,
and aro in position to give their crops
the attention they need, better results
may fairly be expected. This is the
beginning of an industry which will,
if successful, become an important feat
ure of Eastern Washington agriculture.
It will give the farmers of the Palouse
country a profitable crop to grow in
rotation with wheat. When the farm
ers have learned the value of sugar
beet pulp as a stock feed, it will also
doubtless result in an increase of live
stock on the wheat ranches in the vi
cinity of the factory.
Northwest Note.
Postmaster Winter, of Colville, has
resigned.
Spokane saloons are compelled to
close at midnight now.
Tho enrollment of pupils in La
Grande's public schools is 641, with 15
teachers.
Dogs killed 26 head of sheep for a
Kentuck slough rancher in Coos county
last week. He has killed one of the
dogs.
The money ordors issued from the
Tillamook postoflice List month num
bered 850, amounting to $4,309, while
the money orders paid out numbered
100, amounting to $1,465.
H. II. Lazard has been appointed
county clerk of Coos county, to suc
ceed W. E. Rackleff, who violated the
office-holders' rule that few die and
none resign, by vacating the place last
week.
Fairs of the second Southern Ore
gon district, embracing Coos, Curry
and Douglas counties, have heretofore
been held at Roseburg. This year an
effort is to be made to have the fair
held at Marshfield.
The Great Northern will keep 500 to
1 ,000 men employed all winter, and
expend $150,000 in laying new track
and improving its right of way through
Spokane, Besides this, new depots are
to be constructed there, and new
bridges built.
The Syrian colony of Ticoma Is
aroused over outrages recently perpe
trated on their countrymen. One of
them, a peddler, was robbed by high
waymen a few days ago. Sometime
previous another peddler had mysteri
ously disappeared, and they now think
he was murdered and robbed, as he was
known to carry quite a Bum of money.
So now the colony is raising a fund to,
pay for a search for the missing ped
dler's body and discover in what man
gier he came to his death.
Tokos graindealers are in a pool,
snd refuse to sell wheat for less than
40 cents per bushel.
THE WORST AND THS BEST.
W1 Street duffored. But General Bul
iteaa Wa Good.
R. G. Dun & Co. 'a weekly leview of
trade says: The worst day in Wall
street in many years was in part the
legitimate result of the best year iu
business ever known. Because the
country had prospered bo greatly and
ij expanded its business that it could
no longer afford to have many millions
locked up in carrying stocks represent
ing imaginary values, the question
was not ono of monetary supply. When
the couutry found ample use for its
capital in regular trade and productive
industry, a contraction of loans became
necessary, which would have been
more painful if the volume of stocks
had been larger.
The business of the country close to
the holidays is necessarily smaller thun
it has been, and yet larger than at the
same date in any other year. Ex
changes through principal clearing
houifos for the week have been 83.7
larger than last year, and 50.4 peroeut
larger than in 1802, including 82.1 per
cent gain iu payments outside New
York. There was not ovon a suspicion
of unsoundness in any considerable
branch of industry or trade, the e
traordinary expansion in some being h
well warranted as the material guL.
in others.
Cotton suffered in speculation for a
day with stocks, but the great decrease
in receipts from farms since September
over 1,500,000 balee - gives strong
support to prices, as does the increaso
of 200,000 bales in takings by spinners.
Wheat has fallen both in foreign de
mand and in prices, in spite of still
larger loss in Western receipts, for the
week only 3,806,286 bushels, against
7,840,17.0 bushels last year.
Failures for the week have been 220
in the Unitod States, against 258 last
year, and 20 in Canada, against SI last
year.
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Seattle Markets.
Onions, new, $1.000 1.25 per sack.
Potatoes, new, $16 20.
Beets, per sack, 75 85c.
Turnips, per sack, 60o.
Carrots, per saok, 50c.
Parsnips, per sack, 75 85c.
Cauliflower, 76c$l per dozen.
Cabbage, native and California, 75
90o per 100 pounds.
Peaches, 66(80o.
Apples, $1.25(3 1.50 per box.
Pears, $1.00 1.25 per box.
Prunes, 60o per box.
Watermelons, $1.60.
Nutmegs, 6075o.
Butter Creamery, 82o per pound;
dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 22o per pound.
Eggs Firm, 80&81o.
Cheese Native, 16o.
Poultry 9 10c; dressed, ll18o.
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $12.00;
choice Eastern Washington timothy,
$17.0018.00
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23;
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
$21; whole, $22.
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.85;
blended straights, $3.10; California,
$8.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.80; whole wheat
flour, $3.10; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $16.00;
shorts, per ton, $17.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $20. TO per ton;
middlings, per ton, $22; oil cake meal,
par ton, $32.00.
Portland Market.
Wheat Walla Walla, 61 52c;
Valley, 62o; Bluestem, 64o per bushel.
Flour Best grades, $8.00; graham,
$2.60; superfine, $2.15 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 84 85c; choice
gvay, 84c per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $1610.50;
brewing, $18.0018.50 per ton.
Millstuffs Bran, $17 per ton; mid
dlings, $22; shorts, $18; chop, $10 per
ton.
Hay Timothy, $9 10.50; clover,"
$7 8; Oregon wild hay, $07 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 50 55c;
seconds, 42) 45c; dairy, 87a40c;
store, 2585o.
Eggs 18 19c per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c;
Young America, 14c; new cheese lOo
per pound.
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $2.50
3.50 per dozen; hens, $4.00; springs,
$3. 50 3.60; geese, $7.00 9.00 tor old;
$4.506.50 for young; ducks, $4.50
per dozen; turkeys, live, 12K18o
per pound.
Potatoes 5570oper sack; sweets,
3 2 H o per pound.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 90c;
per sack; garlic, 7o per pound; cauli
flower, 75o per dozen; parsnips, $1;
beans, 56o per pound; celery, 70
75o per dozen; cucumbers, 50o per
box; peas, 84oper pound; tomatoes,
75o per box; green corn, 12)6
15c per dozen.
Hops 8 11c; 1898 crop, 56o.
Wool Valley, 12 13o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 8 14c; mohair, 27
80c per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethera
and ewes, 8o; dressed mutton, 6)6
7o per pound; lambs, 740 per pound.
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.60; dressed,
$5.506.00 per 100 pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $3.504.00;
cows, $38.60; dressed beef, 6
7 Ho per pound.
Veal Large, 87c; small, 8
8)o per pound.
Ban Franoiaeo Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 1215oper
onnd; Eastern Oregon, 1216c;Val
ley, 20 22c; Northern, 10 12c.
Hops 1899 crop, ll12o per
pound.
Onions Yellow, 7585o per sack.
Butter Fancy creamery 24 25c;
do seconds, 22 23c; fancy dairy, 20
21o; do seconds, lflo per pound.
Eggs Store, 25 27 c; fancy ranch,
84c.
Millstuffs Middlings, $16.00
19.00; bran, $13 14.00.
Hay Wheat $7. 00 9; wheat and
oat $7.509.00; best barley $5.00
7.50; alfalfa, $5.007.50 per ton;
straw, 85 450 per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose, $1.00; Ore
gon Burbanks, 65c1.10; river Bur
banks, 45 76c; Salinas Burbanks,
$1.00(31.25 per sack.
Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valenoia,
$3.758.25; Mexican limes, $4.00
C.00; California lemons 75c$1.50;
do choice $1.78 2.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
2.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates, 66o per
pound.
BOY BABIES WANTED.
PRINCIPAL REASON WHY THEY
ARE PREFERRED.
tteaaon Offered by Bender Do Not
Hcem to Be the Keal One-An Old
Oriental Bentlmcnt that Btill Bur--viva
Auiouk Modern Parent.
We have lately received a number of
letters from readers discussing this
int'Stlon which the intense Interest lu
Dr. Sehouk's discovery suggests Why
are boy-bublea preferred? The writer
uffer these reasons:
1. That It Is more expensive to bring
up a girl than a boy.
2. That when they are reared boy
can earn more, and hence that they
sooner become self-supporting and able
to give a helping hand to their parent.
8. That girls, after they reach their
teeua, are a greater source of care and
anxiety than boya simply and solely
because of their sex.
In our Judgment, however, none of
these explanations, nor all of them to
gether, completely accounts for the
strong desire of tho average father and
mother to have more male than female
children.
It Is only the mature parent, with the
experience gained In raising a family,
who Is seriously impressed with the
fact that daughters are more expensive
to bring up than sons. Young married
people are, as a rule, far too sentiment
al, sanguine and buoyant In their out
look upon life to figure closely on the
comparative cost of rearing boys and
girls.
Yet the desire to have more boys born
to them than girls Is manifested, as a
rule, more strongly by young parents
than by parents of riper years. Why 7
Tho true explanation Is a sentimental,
not a mercenary one. It Is the modern
survival of an ancient Idea the Idea so
strongly prevalent In the East even to
this day that a son represents the
strength of the family, Its defense, its
protection, Its hope of perpetuation, the
carrying on of Its name and fame to
future generations.
You will find this Idea In all the old
Hebrew writing. A traveler In modern
Syria relates how he talked with the
head of a large family on this subject.
"How many children have you?" he
was asked. "Three," he replied. "But
I see seven standing around you now,"
said the traveler. "Ah, but four of
tliem are daughters only."
The feudal lord was eager for sons
heirs to succeed, him, to go to the tour
ney and the wars with him, to bear his
name, wear his coat-of-arms, to help
him hold his castle and his lands against
his foes. H,e loved his daughters, but
his pride, his glory and his hopes were
In his sons.
Unacknowledged, and unconsciously,
the average American man and woman
are still thinking this old Oriental and
feudal thought, and that Is why, as a
rule, they would rather be the parents
of four boys and one girl than four girls
and one boy. New York Evening
World.
FRIGHT IN DREAMS.
Kvery One Appears to Have Hl Own
Private Nightmare.
"1 have never been able to Understand
the philosophy of flight In dreams,"
said a New Orleans lawyer, chatting
after ofllce hours. "As a rule It Is in
spired by something very simple or at
least altogether out of proportion to the
effect produced. Almost all of us have
our own private nightmares, which are
usually more grotesque than awful, yet
the vision, whatever It happens to be, Is
certain to plunge one Into a paroxysm
of mortal terror. My own pet night
mare Is rather curious. At the begin
ning of the dream I always find myself
In a long, gloomy hallway that seems to
be In some hugo, squalid building, like
a cheap tenement. The place Is ap
parently desorted, and I walk along, im
pelled by an Irresistible Impulse, yet
feeling that I am certainly approaching
something frightful. At the end of the
hall I go down a steep, dirty flight of
stairs, my fears growing and swelling
at every step, and pause before a door
that opens upon a little, square landing.
I know perfectly well that what I dread
Is behind that door, but something
makes me open It, and I look into a
plain, bnre room, perfectly common
place, with a small white kitten lying In
the corner. What there Is about It to
throw me Into such a panic I am unable
to say, but I rush out filled with blind,
Inhuman terror, and always wake when
I am stumbling up the stairs. I think
this is a fair sample of the foolish
things that are so appalling In dreams.
Why Is it, I wonder? I have talked
with a great many others, and find that
their own nightmares are generally of
the same Inconsequential nature. Of
course, the whole subject of dreams Is
hopelessly cryptic, but this seems to
me its most puzzling and Incomprehen
sible feature." New Orleans Times
Democrat Saved by Ammonia.
"Pretty fierce brutes, eh?" remarked
a soldierly looking man who was one
of a little group watching the three big
tigers at the zoo restlessly pacing their
dens In anticipation of feod.ng time.
"Yes," agreed the person addressed. "I
don't think I'd care about meeting one
at large." "No, It wouldn't be a pleas
ant experience, but yet I've had It, and
that I'm able to tell the story Is due to
nothing more nor less than a bottle of
ammonia. Fact! It happened years ago
In India. I was attached to a troop of
Punjab light horse, on police duty
about Chawald, and my little experi
ence was the result of a day's leave of
absence. With several companions I
was on my way to visit some native
friends In a neighboring village, and as
the jungle paths were the shortest
route we made the trip in chairs slung
oe carriers' shoulders. I was about
half asleep from the swlng'ng motion,
when I was rudely pitched out by the
natives dropping the poles and scam
pering off. That's how I met my tiger.
With a bound he was on me and had
taken a mouthful of my coat. Intend
ing, no doubt, to carry me Into the
dense undergrowth. Fortunately for
me. I had a big bottle of ammonia In
my coat pocket, carried It for snake
bites, you know, and when the brute
took the mouthful he broke the bottle.
The whiff he got made his whiskers
curl and one was enough, ne rolled
over a couple of times gasping and
waving his paws, and then made off as
(julckly as he had appeared. Tlnrt?
No, only a few bruises from the full,
but tbe close Rhave took my nerve for
some mouths." Philadelphia Record.
The Kaffir's Wives. ,
The aborigines of this vast eoun
try (the Transvaal) were black
men the Kaffirs. They have lost
dominion of the country and are
but serfs to the burghers or citizens,
The Kaffir Is a day laborer and reckons
his wealth In the number of heads of
cattle he may be able to acquire. He
works for a couplo of years until he can
got eleven oxen or cows. Then he hies
himself to the Zululand on the east or
to other countries controlled by black
men, and there buys himself a wife.
Ten cows Is the price of a wife. The
eleventh Is killed for the wedding feast.
The Kaffir remains a few months with
his wife, then off to the mines he goo
to earn tho price of another. When he
possesses half a dozen wives the Kaf
fir's menial toil Is over and he becomes
a gentleman. His wives plant, the mealy
(corn) and look after what cattle their
lord and master owns. With a kraal
full of daughters the Katiir must be
come a rich and Important person. The
daughter of a chief costs twenty-five
cows and the daughter of a king sixty,
no matter how old or ugly. The chiefs
are severely strict In their, watchfulness
over the morals of the Kaffirs. If one
is found guilty of dishonesty he Is fined
so many oxen. The Kaffir Is said to be
bcfttf7JTJil8 original state than when
contaminated with what they call civ
illzatlon. Interview in the Columbia
State.
One great disadvantage of smokelesi
gunpowder, tending to offset Its many
advantages, Is Its corroding action or.
the Interior of a gun. Prof. Roberts
Austin recently made a report on the
subject, showing that flno weapons are
liable thus to be quickly ruined.
A paper recently read before the Lin-
nean Society In London describes a spe
cies of seal, attaining enormous dlinen
along, to which tha name of sea elephant
has been given on account of a trunk
like appendage on the fore part of the
head. A specimen killed In the Folk
land Islands was nearly nineteen feet
In leng'h. The trunk Is ouly a foot long.
These seals are peculiar to the southern
hemisphere.
An Italian court recently, after a trial,
ordered the removal of some wooden
yachts, whose bottoms were sheathed
with copper, from the neighborhood of
.Iron warships anchored In the harbor
of Lrglio; n. It was alleged that an elec
tric connection was established through
the ships cables whereby the copper-
bottomed warships were turned Into the
poles of a galvanic battery, the result
being a rapid corrosion of the Iron in
contact with the sea water.
Prof. Alexander Grnham Bell, Inven
tor of the telephone, Is now devoting
nearly the whole of his time, according
to Elp'pi.elty, to experiments with fly
lug machines, and "Is confident that he
Is not only on the light track, but within
measurable distance of success. He Is
developing tho kite Idea, experimenting
with planets of various sizes and
weights. He has discarded the gener
ally accepted principle that the ma
chines must be of extraordinary light
ness, and Is calculating on securing sta
bility and steadiness from weight."
When the eggs on the ostrich farm!
of California are at the point of hatch
ing, says Charles F. Holder, a curlouj
tapping of the shells may be heard.
Thla the keepers call "telephoning."
The sound is caused by the chicks la
side the eggs endeavoring to break out
Those which cannot easily emerge are
assisted by the mother bird, which will
sometimes break an egg from which the
telephoning Is heard by pressing It
carefully, and will then aid the chick to
get out. At the Pasadena farm, the
sight of a boy riding an ostrich as be
would a pony may sometimes be seen.
"A method of producing anesthesia
by the direct application of an electrical
current without the use of drugs was
recently described by Dr. E. W. Scrip
ture, of Yale, before the American As
sociation for the Advancement of Sci
ence," says the Scientific American.
"An alternating current with equal pos
itive and negative phases was made to
traverse the nerve. At a proper fre
quency of about 5,000 complete periods
In a second, It can be made to cut off all
sensatory communication by this nerve.
Needles enn be run Into the part of the
body supplied by this nerve without any
pain being felt."
The Deacon's Interruption.
"Wen Moses tell de sun ter stan
still " began the old deacon.
"Dat warn't Moses," interjected a
brother In the amen corner, "dat wus
Joshua'
"Ez I said," continued the deacon,
"w'en Joshua tell de sun "
"You didn't say dat at all!" said the
brother who hnd corrected him. "Hit
v:zz rse dot said It! Hit waz me dat
tuck you up on It!"
The deacon's patience was exhausted.
He folded his brass-rinimed spectacles,
laid them carefully on the table before
him, walked over to the amen corner,
took the objecting brother by both
arms from behind, and with the swish
of a cyclone swept him forward to the
door landing him precipitately In outer
darkness.
"Ez I waz sayln', fo' dis little Incident
occurred," he continued, "w'en Moses
tol Joshua ter tell de sun ter stan'
still "
Some of the older, learned brethren
moved uneasily in their seats. They
looked like they wanted to correct him,
but they did not They let it go at that!
Atlanta Constitution.
Snnrtay In To onto.
On Sunday during church hours
Toronto street cars must not run past
churches at a speed exceeding four
miles per hour.
When the members of a church be
come tired of their pastor they give
him good "letters," so he can get an
other Job.
There are two thousand different ar
ticles In a grocery store, and two mill
ion In a dry goods store, and a woman
is compelled to master them all.
PROQRESS OF AUSTRALIA.
The First KiikIIhM Settler in That t ain
Land Were Convicts.
When the Eudeavorer reached Kug
and, the enthusiastic accounts given by
the explorers of the eastern shores of
Australia arcv.sed no little luterost, and.
when the Independence of the American
States had been achieved, stimulated a
desire on tho part of many to undcr'ako
what Uacon calls "the heroic work of
colonization" of tho great virgin con
tinent In the southern seas.
lu 1783, when the Pitt ministry was
In otliee, a bill passed Parliament au
tboi'lalng the transportation or offend
era1 across the seas, and Viscount 8yd
uey, the Secretary of State for the Col
ules, selected Botany Bay na a sultablo
site for the new penal settlement. He
appointed Captain Arthur Philip, It. N.,
as the commanderof theexpedlton and
first Governor, and on May 17, 1787,
the flotilla set sail, having on board a
miserable contingent of 604 male con
ricts, 102 female prisoners, 1W marines,
with ten officers, and a few mechanics
and others, amountlug altogether to
1,017 souls. It will be always a matter
'or regret that the colonization f
Australia should have originated In co:.
vlctlsm; but as Sydney Smith pointed
out a few years later, under that lufum
ous term were comprised most d f-
ferent degrees and species of guilt.
Many of tho offenders a century ago
were transported for trifling breaches
of tho law, which no one would now In
clude In the category of offenses, much
loss of crimes. Strange as It may scorn
to say so, tbe new policy was conceived
In a spirit of philanthropy, and marked,
In a sense, a beneficent revolt against
the merciless severity of the criminal
laws.
The liberality of the government has
endowed Sydney with an extent of
parks, public gardens, and recreation
reserves which few even of the great
European cities can equal. In the met
ropolitan area there are 8.3S7 acres set
apart for such purposes. Iu addition, a
magnificent reserve, situated sixteen
miles south of the city, but accessible
by railway, has been dedicated to the
city as a national park. Its area Is
30,320 acres, and It surrounds the pic
turesque bay of Port Hacking. It Is
covered with splendid virgin forest and
the scenery Is charming. Another large)
park, situated ten miles to the north of
Sydney, and known as Kuriug-gal
Chase, Is also dedicated to the public.
Its area Is 85,300 acres. The Sydney
Botnnlcal Gardens are much the oldest
nnd finest In the British colonies. They
are forty acres In extent situated wlthi
In the domain surrounding Farm Cove,
one of the most charming Indents of the
harbor, and the .anchorage of the,
Australian squadron. Pall Mall Maga-I
cine.
Every Inch a Hu'ttn.
The late Sultan of Morocco, Mulal
Hassan, was one of the most striking
figures of the Oriental world. Standing
about six feet three Inches, he was
dark In face, having, though a descend
ant of Mohammed, some negro blood.
His clothes, says the author of "A
Journey In Morocco," were spotless
white, made like those worn by ordin
ary tribesmen, but of filler stuff. Colors
he never wore, nor Jewelry, except a
silver ring with a large diamond. Once
a man asked him for this as a keepsake,
He half drew it off, but replaced it
Baying with a quiet smile:
"No, I will keep It but you can have
Its value In money, If you choose."
Ills clothes he never wore more than
a day, and his servants claimed them
as perquisites, so that his wardrobe
must have been pretty extensive, even
for a king.
Upon a Journey, he carried almost all
his possessions packed on camels, and
when In need of amusement he would
say to a servant "Bring me the tele
scope the Belgian minister gave me
ten years ago," or "the watech the
Queen of England sent me," and the
unlucky man to whom ho spoke had
to produce the article, If he unpacked
a hundred camels In the search.
Word Admiral."
The word "admiral" is of Arabic
rigln, and dates back to the time o"
jo Crusades; it is but another for.
f the familiar Eastern titles, Emir an.
Ameer, and simply signifies prince.
The D Is Intrusive and there Is no con
nection with the Latin "mare," the sea,
or with the root from which we get
admirable. In European mouths the
word has been variously contorted; the
Teutonic races have Introduced the D
and suffixed, Instead prefixing the ar
ticle; or we may consider it as a con
traction of some such phrase as Amlr-al-Bahr,
prince of the sea. The Portu
guese, again, have taken the article for
the first syllable, and make It Alrul-
rante, but there can be no doubt as to
the Identity of the word. As a nation
the Arabs were never a maritime pow
er, but after their conquest of Spain
they found it necessary to have a na
val force, and from them both office
and name were adopted by the neigh
boring powers.
Bound to Depart.
A youthful Stockton man rushed to
catch a river boat for San Francisco,
but was about two minutes late. The
steamer was six feet out as he reached
the dock, ne swung his grip aboard
and jumping, caught a rope and a post
and held fast Everyone Imagined he
hnd fallen lu. The captain, peering
over the side, saw his intrepid pas
senger. "Here, you," he shouted, "by
JIniiny crickets, don't you ever do that
again!" The passenger had hauled him
self aboard by this time, and, turning a
look of scorn at the captain, said:
'What do you think I'm going to do-
Jump back and try It over?" San
Francisco Wave.
Those Inquisitive Younesters.
"Papa, you took the scientific course
In college, didn't you?"
"Yes. dear; I spent two years on
science."
"When yon look in a mirror the left
side of your face appears to be the
right side, and the right aide seems to
te the left The looking-glass reverses
it, doesn't it?"
"Yes."
"Then why doesn't It reverse the top
and bottom of your face the same
way?"
Why-r ah!" Trained Mother
hood.
An old bachelor says that some
women are born foolish, some achieve
folly and the rest marry fools.
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
RIOUS HUMORISTS.
Pleasant Incident Occurring the
World Over-Saying; that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Young-Funny Selec
tion that Toa Will Enjoy.
Aa they bent solicitously over him,
the man who had been kicked by a
horse opened his eyes. "Have you any
last wish?" they asked him.
"Yes," be murmured. "Have an auto
mobile hearse at the funeral."
Revenge, It seemed, was strong even
In death. Now York Tress.
Her Specialty.
The Prompter So your wife has
gone Into vaudeville?
The Comedian Yes.
The Prompter What line of work?
Tbe Comedlan-Oh, curtain lectures.
I suppose. Philadelphia Bulletin.
Too Nrmerou.
Young Wife (poutlngly) You haven't
given me anything srtnee we've been
married.
Young Husband (facetiously) Why,
I'm always giving you kisses, darling.
Young Wife Oh, those don't count
Young Husband-No, they're count
less.
Oriitin.
" 'It Is a woman's lot to suffer tn si
lenceT I wonder what is the origin
of that sentiment?"
"Perhaps It's a corruption of the
truth that a silent woman auffera a
lot." Detroit Journal.
What Shall the Poor Girl Do?
"Oh, Minna, I'm In despair! Arthur
promises if I marry him he'll give up
h's life of dissipation, and Franz
threatens If I don't marry him he'll be
gin a life of dissipation. Now what
hall I dor Lustige Blaetter.
Matrimonial Repartee.
"You are your own worst enemy,"
she said.
'"Why do you keep reminding me of
the fact that I deliberately asked you
to marry me?" he returned. Chicago
Evening Post
Tried the Experiment.
"My! hasn't that woman a sour look
Ing face?"
"Yes. She must have heard that
lemon Juice was good for the complex
lon."-PhlladelphIa Bulletin.
No Skin Game.
"What do you think," said the Arc
tic fox, "about this boundary brush'"
"Oh," answered the marten, "it's Just
as well to be fur-bearing." Now York
Press.
Safe.
"Disgraceful! I should think society
would, turn him down."
"No danger of that He's one of
the 'high lights.' "-Philadelphia Bul
letin.
Financial Estrangement.
"What cold glances Wiggins gives
you, Billy."
"Yes; he owes me $5 and I owe him
4. lie's mad because I don't pay
him." Indianapolis Journal.
r Not to Be Trifled With.
"Wbatcher gwlne do wld dat ras-
Eort"
"I'm lookln' foh dat drug sto man.
Ait him fob a box o face powder, an'
be dun sol' me lampblack."
Arm.
"I wonder why these emblems aro
called arms?"
"Well, you know, a family with arms
hare a good deal that would otherwise
be quite beyond their reach." Detroit
Journal.
He Wa the Favorite.
Tom So you became engaged to Miss
Willing while tandem riding, did you?
Jack Well, not exactly. We were
climbing a bill when I proposed and I
won In a walk see?
No Baal of Agreement,
Your church, I am Informed," said
the man who waa In search of Infor
mation, "takes care of Its preacher
when they become too old for active
service?"
"It does," replied the man who had
tbe Information to give out
"At what age Is It usually consider
ed they ought to go on tbe retired list?"
It is bard to tell. There Is frequent
ly a difference of thirty years between
the estimate of the congregation and
that of the preacher." Chicago Jour
nal Bather Indefinite.
I think," remarked tbe front-row
patron of burlesque shows, aa he climb
ed Into the barber chair, "that I II have
a hair cut."
Yes, sir," answered the tousorlal
artist "Which vue, please?"--Chicago
New.
V The Logic of It,
Old Lady-Why do you have aucti a
dirty, grimy face?
Hobo I s'pose, lady. It comes from
travellu' on me cheek. Philadelphia
Record.
t'onaidcrate.
"What a lovely waste basket the ed
itor haa."
"Yea, he'a so kind hearted be means
the poet's II i) n shall fall In pleasaut
place."-Phlladelphla Bulletin.
Thl Prcuoaterona Ace.
"Why did the beautiful Miss Punk
have two wedding ceremonies?"
"The blograph man waa laie, so they
had to go through the service agnlu."
Chicago Itecord.
With the Heel Toward the Itoor,
Rev, Fiddle, D. D.-May I leave a
few tracts?
Farmer Certainly! Here, Towser!
Comparing Note.
Mrs. Jones My husband Is tbe light
of my life.
Mrs. Smith So la mine. One of the
kind that smokes and goea out night.
An Important Distinction.
"I lost my purse this afternoon."
"Gracious, Julia, were ycu going
shopping or coining back?" Chicago
Itecord.
How He Avoided It.
noax I never can bear to see a wom
an stand In the street car.
Joax Same here. I always buy a
paper.'
Modern Improvement.
Irate Tenant It'a colder than all get
out In our apartments tbia morning.
Why ian't the heat turned on?
Janitor It'a turned on in the room.
I occupy and Just as soon as they gee
warm I'll turn It on In the rest of the
building.
Feminine Economy.
nnsband Whnt's this? Another $21
milliner's bill? I thought v e bad de
cided to be more economical.
Wife Well, didn't I spend l wo days
looking for your new winter suit, and
didn't I finally get one for $0.98 that
they wanted $7 for?
In Her Line.
Wife I found a place to-day where I
can get a $12 wrap for $7.08.
Husband Very well. To-morrow go
out and find a place where I can get
the $7.03.
Amazement.
.if
rs
Countrywoman (at tbe dross parade)
My! my! What a wonderful thlug
discipline Is; a whole regiment assem
bled, and each man holds his tongue!
Meggeudorfer's HumorlsthK-he Bluet'
ter.
Wanted It from the fltart.
Little Willie Say, pa, was the earth
created before man?
Pa Yes, my son.
Little Willie Why waa It?
ra It waa probably known that It
would be tbe first thing he'd want
when be arrived.
Why He Took Ills Departure.
Cholly I never ahnll uiarry a strong-
minded woman, never.
Minerva No, of course, you won't.
The woman you marry will be weak-
minded, I am aure. Philadelphia Bul
letin.
A Reward In Sight.
'What makes you so devoted to golf.
Mr. Poddlngtou?"
"Well, you aee, aomolody always
gives a dinner after the game." In
dlunapolla Journal.
"And Thrift la Illvaalng."
The Pedestrian You keep a horse!
Why, I had no Idea you were so thrif
ty. "Oh, yet. I deposit regularly In the
savings bank all the money 1 borrow
from my frleoda.' lAfm.
The Tip thet Failed.
"Haven't you forgotten soiiietlilng.
sir?" asked the waiter, who eici-d
a tip.
"Very likely," replied the feeder.
"You kept me waiting so Song that I've
forgotten who I am." Philadelphia
North American.
The Heaana for It.
lie had come Into the ofllce to sworn
game license. Before making ap
plication be dlil considerable blowing
about what luck he had always had and
how much greater It wnt to be thl
son. Briefly, he inmlo tlm dork tired.
He was ankud the iimimI tju-iluiis
when he tipptled for the I Icon.'.
"Whal's your name?"
"How old are you?"
"Wbnt'ayouriiiOtlier'enialdpn namer
"What's your father name 7"
"Whre do you liver
"Bay, look here," on Id the hunter
bold, "what's all thl nonaenae fur, any
way? What difference tloea It make
where I live and all Ihnir
"Justin alt lbn rormn-r In dIH.iff
of tbe remains when you iturn-,l,"
replied Ihe clerk will, out looking up.
And three or four In t!n r.in. with
great Ufikliidneaa. laughed lrMy,
IMrolt Free Press,
Aathiellr of Windmills.
Windmills, though t.tily now becom
ing xpiilsr for pumping' water, ir
kuuM lit tuioe aw far tack aa llui,