- TAKB CARE OF TOUR WATCH. mv. The mechanism o't the human body re .minds one very much of the mechanical construction of a fine watoh, the wheels, cogs and eorews answering to the muscles and the delicate springs are what may be likened to the nerves. One cannot move without the other, and yet the action of each is separate and distinct. Bo it is ' with the nerves and mutcles of the human body. The ailments of the muscles are distinct from the ailments of the nerves, and, like the mechanism of a watoh, if ex posed to sudden ohange of heat and cold, tht-y get out of order and fr the time are useless. Especially is this so at this season of the year, when from exposure, negli gence or want of care, the nerves are at tacked and neuralgia in its worst form sets in. But like oil to tbe works of a watch so is Sc. Jacobs Oil to the nerves thns deranged.- It is acknowledged by thousands to be the best ami most permanent cure for this most dreaded disease; hence it is well to look alter toe human watoh as well as the one in the pocket. . ' True beauty does not fear to doff Taa plumes and f atburs gay, An i all the ckarmtng girls lake off lhuir haw now at Uie play. THE COMMISSARY DEPARTMENT ('the human system Is the stomach. In con ' seque. ee of Its activity, the body Is supplied witti the elements of boue, brain, nervous and muscular tissue. When iudigeation impede! lw lunctloiiH, the best agent lor impartu g a healthful nupuus to it operations is Hosiettur's Sivmauu Bitiers, also a uuratlve for malaria. -oilious auu jtiuuey vumuisiuui, uvivvuiuvh and cousiip.llou. Prospective Pere Do yon think you can fill the requirement- of a son-in-law? 'I lie Suitor Wuy, i, er ihouifiic you would do- hat. Fiso's Cure for Consumption has been a God-send to me. Wni. B. MoClellan, Chester, Florida, Sept. 17, 1895. '.. BOW'S THIS ? - - '' , ' ' i We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any ease oi (Jatarra uat cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props., Toledo, 0. We, tue undersigned, have known F. J. Cneney for the last 16 years, ana believe nun perfectly honorable lu all business iran-uodous, and nuauomlly able to carry out any obligation made by their firm. ' (ht S Truax, j; , - Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, 0. , - WiLDitia, Ki.-nan & Mabvin, , Wholesale Uruggli-U, loledo, 0. Ball's Catarrh Cure is taken Internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Price 76c per bottle. UjliX by all t Druggists. Testimonials f i ee. Hull's family pills are the best. FITS. All Fits stopped free by Or. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer, Mo Fits after tbe Unit day's nse. Marvelous oures. Treatise and 12.00 trial bottle free to Fit oases. Bend to Dr. Kline. (81 Aran St., Philadelphia. Pa. -,. 1 11 . - Tbt Gibmia. tor breakfast. Bxtreme tired feeling afflicts nearly every '' body at this season. The hustlers cease to push, the tireless grow weary, the ener getio become enervated. You know just what we mean. . Borne men and women endeavor temporarily to overcome that D Feeling by great force of will. But this is unsafe, as it pulls powerfully upon the nervous system, which will not long stand such strain. Too many people "work on 'their nerves," and the result is seen in un fortunate wrecks marked "nervous pros tration," in every direction. That tired lng is a positive proof of thin, weak, im pure blood ; for, if the blood is rich, red, vitalized and vigorous, it imparts life and energy to every nerve, organ and tissue of the , body. The necessity of taking Hood's Sa-saparilla for that tired feeling is, therefore, apparent to every one, and the good it will do you is equally beyond question. Remembei that Sarsaparilla ta the One True Blood Purifier. All drnrolsta. 1L Prepared only byC. I. Hood A Co., Lowell, Mass. n UOU 5 rlllS to operate. 116 cents. WHO CARRIES THE LARGEST Line of Cutlery, Sporting (Joods, Barber Supplies and Bazaar Goods! Why, don't you know THE WILL & FINCK COMPANY? They will supply you with anything you want at lowest market prices. Rend for General Cata logue or Catalogue of Sporting Goods or Barber Supplies. 820 Market Street. San Francisco, Cal FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE SICK or "Just Don't Feel Well," OR. GUNN'S I Iff TP DIIIC are the One Thing to use. Only One for a Dose. Bold by druggists at 2 So. a box Samples Free. Address the Dr.Bossnko Med. CO., Fblla. Pa. "Save My Child!" is the cry . of many an agonized whose . ' . ' little one writhes in croup or whoop ing cough. In Such cases, Dr. Acker's" English Rem edy proves a blessing and a godsend.' Mrs. M. A. Burke, of 309 E. 105th St., New York, writes : " Dr. Acker's English Remedy cured my baby of bronchitis, and also gave instant relief in a severe case of croup. I gratefully recommend it." Three sizes, 25c.; SOc.; $1. All Druggists. Acksb Mkdicink Co., 16 A IB Chambers St., N.Y. -That red rteodTs 4 Beat Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use f. 1 11 1 in tlma Boldby drpgglsts. pr-e EsM-aSaSfMtia WARNED BY BILL NYE. The Late Humorist Informs Cleveland Editor of Danger. ' A. E. Hyer of Cleveland,- editor of a weekly paper called The Cuyahogan, bears a physical resemblance to the late Bill Nye. Be is also a bit of a humorist, as his writings in bis paper show. In the matter of a bald bead, spectacles and a smooth face he and Nye were well nigh doubles. Twoyearsago Nye's manager, H. B. Thearle, wrote Hyer's suggestion that the two should travel together. Photographs were exobanged, and Nye wrote Hyer from Arden, N. C, a letter which Hyer still has, and in which Nye said, "I realize fully the novelty that the two Dromios would furnish, but I am' sure I shall not go out for a year and possibly never again. " In September the journalist wrote up Hyer and printed his picture. Then be gan a correspondence. 'The humorist wrote, urging flyer not to pose any lon ger as Bill Nye. "Do stop looking like me," he urged, and be warned the Cleveland editor of the awful fate which had overtaken others who had looked like bim. One had been confined in Bloomingdale asylum and. another had been rotten egged and jugged in Cali fornia. Mr. Nye sent a clipping from a Fort Scott paper telling of a man who looked like Bill Nye having had a par alytio stroke on the street, and one from the New York World telling of a man who had been sent to the Market Street police station for pretending to be Bill Nye. The negotiations pending were dropped at Mr. Hyer's request, and Mr. Hyer wrote to Mr. Nye informing bim that he could not alter his physical appearance. ' His glasses, he declared, were a necessity. Philadelphia Times. GAMBLED ON DEATH. Novel Life Insurance Scheme In m Massa chusetts Almshouse, . It has just been discovered that the managers of . the Springfield (Mass. f almsbouse gambled upon the life of an aged inmate who committed suicide last summer and made a good thing out of it. The scheme was a novel one. L. V. Sexton, master of the almshonse, and James H. Lewis, agent of the overseers of the poor, placed Edward B. Smith, Who was 75 years old, in the institution, agreeing to take care of him for life, and be entered into the plan by deeding over to them his property, valued at $2,600. - -It was a case of independent . insur ance, but the insurance negotiators were in great luck. .After five months of life in the almshouse tbe insured man com mitted suicide. - Lewis and ' Sexton admit that they paid out only $60 for his board, and that after paying for bis burial they netted a profit of more than $600 each. They claim that they ran a risk that the man might live ten years, and that it is the same risk that annuity msur- ance companies take. They say that they will not do It again. New York Recorder. OPENED WITH PRAYER. Striking; Innovation In a Circuit Court In Alabama. Cirouit oourt convened at St. T Ste prion's, Ala., the other, day, Judge W S. Anderson presiding. A novelty was sprung on the court as well as tbe crowded courtroom of citizens by a motion made ' by Colonel Samuel B. Browne that the court be opened each day by reading a chapter from the Bible and prayer. Judge Anderson granted the motion, stating that he thought it a very appropriate service. Colonel Browne volunteered to read the first chapter, which be did, choosing tbe first chapter of Peter. '.. After the reading Solicitor Stewart Brooks was requested to lead the prayer, and responded in an able petition im ploring divine direction for the court and that justice might be done and the county benefited by the session, closing with an earnest appeal for divine bless ings upon all present. The assembly room paid respectful attention to this novel feature of the court, standing during the prayer. Mobile Register. i Novel Wedding; Ceremony. Johanna Huiberdina van der Kaay will be married by a ceremony as odd as her name. She is tbe belle of Gin neken, County Noord-Brabant, Holland. To this place Theodore J. Bonte of Col orado has sent a marriage license and a glove. . When these are received, the couple will be legally wed according to the old Dutch marriage by the glove custom.';' ' " Bonte, who is a Hollander, has lived in this country for four years and lost bis heart on a visit to his native country two years ago. Vox the Masonic University. ; ? ' The Morrow farm of 60 acres at Bea ver, Pa., has been purchased upon which to erect tbe Masonio National univer sity and the deed transferred. Adjoin ing 1 lands will be purchased when rea sonable arrangements can be made.: Work on the buildings will be started just as soon as the weatherwill permit. Work For a Prospective Ancestor. "You don't seem to boast much about your ancestors." ' "No. I'm too busy fixing things so my posterity can brag on me. " Chica go Record. ; Lots of men who are looking for work wouldn't know what to do with it if they sbouljl find it. 7 from U.S.Jonntal of KedMs Froi. W. B. Feeke, who makes a specialty of Epilepsy, has without doubt treated and cur ed more cases than any living Physician; his success is astonishing.' We have heard of cases of so vears' standino G ? tt cured by ' ' J him- He " Tl Tla publishes a U ljr,r sB 1 valuable H II I I I work or H H I B I thu du Hi) I H I ease, which II II IV J I he sends large bot tle of his absolute cure, free to any sufferers who may send their P. O. and Express address. We adylae n one wishing a eure to address LO J IIS THE DOLL THAT GREW. Two children eat In a window low. Where graceful vines ever loved to creep, A cradle swinging, now fast now Blow, Booking a doll to sleep. Els chubby face and his ringlets brown, Her laughing eyes and her dimples fair . A sunbeam, lost in the vines, looked down Glinting her yellow hair. I said, "Goodby, happy ones, goodby; E'er I come back, little girl and boy, , Tour laugh will fade to a common sigh, Mocking this childish joy." Their eyes looked grave, for a moment's thought, But could not take in the meaning cold. She shook her head till his brown crown ' caught , .... Showers of curling gold. ' ' . "When you come back, me will be so tall," He said, "and proud." "Yes, me will," said she. "The doll will grow, and the cradle all, Lovely as they can be." And far away in the world of tide, In dreams and fancies that picture fair The girl's Bweet faith and the toy's glad . pride . .. . ,. . Followed me everywhere. . ' : s -; , Ah, could it stay, could it always be! But each joy falls with a broken wing; Then night comes on, and it cannot see, Moaning, it cannot sing. . ' With years of winter upon my head, , ' With years of summer upon my face, I came, by haunting desire led, Back to the self same place. . ' The same sun struggled and wandered through. And glinted ringlets of brown and gold; The doll had grown, and the cradle, too, Lovelier than of old. ' ' ! . . t Tbe two still sat in the window low. Their hearts so full of a love so deep ' f" A cradle swinging, so soft and Blow, , Rocking their child to sleep. Edward D. Oldham in Youth's Companion. ' A MEAN KEVENGE. ' "Sam I Sam I Sam 1 Where the deuce is that fellow?" ' ' I had rung the bell until I was tired and out of patience, and then called for bim until I was out of breath, and still be did not come. ., If you want to know who I am, allow me to inform you that my ' name is George Boomerang,' better known in Frazeclona, where I reside, as Captain Boomerang, late of the army. I am a man of considerable wealth, own the finest bouse in town and keep, or did keep, a man by the name of Sam, whose dnty it was to brush my clothes, bat and boots and adjjust my leg. I refer to a wooden leg. The original leg ran against a cannon ball during our late unpleasantness, and I have never seen it since. 1 t . Well, it was Sam's duty to take that wooden leg off at night and to be on hand in the morning to put it on before I got out of bed, and now you know why I was yelling, "Sam I Sam I Sam!" And when I inform you that this was the morning of my wedding day perhaps yon can imagine how anxious I was to get on to my legs as soon as possible. . "Yes, ma'am, I was the lucky fellow that bad walked into the affections on a wooden leg too of the handsomest girl in Frazedona and was thaf day to lead her to the altar. But I must get my leg on first, and, as Sam wouldn't or conldn't come, I rolled out of bed and went hopping around on one foot to find my leg. - . - . Now, my dear reader, when the sur geon trimmed my stump after that little affair with the cannon ball he sawed it off uncommonly short, so perhaps you can faintly imagine my feeling when, after hopping around my room, I found what I supposed to be my leg, but, npon attempting to adjust it, discovered that it was intended to go on below the knee. "Do wooden legs shrink? That's just what I want to know," said I. And then I rang the bell and called "Sam !" Well, Samuel didn't come, but my housekeeper, Mrs. Bloom, did. "Mrs. Bloom," I cried,; "where is Sam?" , She answered me through the keyhole of the door. "He left the honse last night about 11 o'clock. Took his trunk with him, and said he was gong to leave town by the midnight train." - I couldn't understand it at first. I bad always used Sam well, paid him good wages, and he had seemed perfect ly contented with his situation, and served' me faithfully until now.- , Suddenly an idea struck m, and the whole .cause of Sam's perfidy was re vealed to me. "By heavens, it is Slympkinsl" I yelled. , "Slympkins is the cause of all my woe. He bribed Sam to steal my leg on this my wedding day and leave this insufficient prop in place of it. " Jim Slympkins is or was my rival. He is the only son of his father, who, by the way, is the most wealthy gentle man in Frazedona. Consequently Jim doesn't do anything but smoke cigars, drive round town behind his splendid grays, and devote himself to the ladies generally. . ; ! I rather had the advantage of Slymp kins. To be sure, Slympkins had or was expecting to have much more wealth : than I could boast of, but he hadn't my face, you know, or anything like it. . J I was sorry for Slmypkins, but, hang it, my dear sir, what could I do? If he bad chosen Miss Short, Miss Ginx, Miss Broad, or, in fact, any one but Miss Amelia Seymotfr, it would have been well. But it was really absurd for : Slympkins to suppose that I would al low him or any other man to niarry . Amelia at least while I had a wooden leg. , ( s I would have given Slympkins any thing in reason, but it was truly ridicu lous for bim to think that I would give him Amelia. I told her so, and then I folded her to my breast, and she folded me to her breast, and I allowed her to sip the honey from my ruby lips. Yes, I had won her, and poor Slymp? kips was fairly wild with rage. He had sworn to be revenged, but I laughed at his threats. I was seated at the breakfast table sip ping my coffee half an hour aftorward when Mrs. Bloom came running in, cry ing: . . ; "Ob, captain, I know all about it!" "What, the leg?" "Yes. I think so. My daughter Eliza says she saw Mr. Slympkins give Sam some money last night. " "Yes, I know it was Slympkins." "More than that. Sam was married last night to Miss Seymour's maid, and they went off together by the 12 o'clock train." . - "But, my dear woman," said I, "I don't care anything About whom he has married or where he has gone. The question is, Has he carried my leg with him?" "Why,, I'm sure I dou't know." "Well,' that is just what I want to know, ma'am. This isn't a time for trifling. You must remember that I am to be married today, and, by Jove! I want my leg!" "Why don't yon ask Slympkins for it?" . - .. i . . "Yes, and be laughed at. No, I don't intendHo let him know anything about the tronble he has caused me. Besides I don't know that he has got it." ; "But what are you going to do?" "Why, just, as soon as I finish my breakfast I shall go to Mr. Seymour's and tell him of the perfidy of my serv antand I shall take that leg to prove my statement and, unless he objects very strongly-1 shall insist on being married upon orutches rather than to have the wedding postponed. That would please Slympkins too much. It's what he expects, but I'll disappoint him, by Jove!" , ., v ' I finished my coffee, and going to my chamber I took the ownerless leg, and wrapped it up in paper. Then I came down, and ordering my carriage rode out to Mr. Seymour's residence. The old gentleman met me at the door. , He took no notice of my crutches. With averted face he bade me goodmorn ing and led me into the parlor. i , "I'm sorry, Captain Boomerang, very sorry, but the wedding will have to be postponed." "What, not on' my account, I hope?" for you see I thought he had already heard of my loss. . . ' . "Amelia is" "What? My dear Amelia! Oh, has anything happened to her. . Is she ill?" "It's nothing serious, my dear captain."- . "But is she ill? Oh, where is she? Let me go to her. v Do let me see her!" "She's in her boudoir. Go. Perhaps you can comfort her." I did go. I burst into the room and found her lying on the sofa. . . I rushed forward to clasp her in my arms, . but recoiled in surprise and amazement when I saw npon the chair in front of the lounge npon which she was lying my "Great heavens! Amelia, where did you get my leg?". For you. see I recog nized the limb instantly. . "The le OX George Henry, I I can never be your wife I" she sobbed, fixing her liquid orbs on tbe limb before her. . 7 . ........... . . ' "But where did yon get my leg?" I reiterated, at the same time unfolding the paper from the short one that I had bronght with me. ' "Where did yon get mine?" she screamed, hopping np from the lounge and clutching the limb that I still held in my hand. ( "Yours!" I gasped. ;':"Mine!" "Oh, this is too much !" Amelia sat down, too, and for about two minutes we gazed into one anoth er's faces without speaking a word. At last I spoke. "Oh, Amelia, Slympkins has played a cruel joke npon ns ! He bribed your maid and my man to change these limbs." . : "Yes, and now" "But luckily we have found it out in time, and now the wedding can go on as if nothing had happened. " : "What! Would yon marry me now?" "Now!" I cried, clasping her to my breast. : "I'd marry you now if you hadn't a leg to stand upon." Then I kissed the dear creature, while she laid her beautiful head npon my breast and cried for joy. In conclusion I am happy to inform the reader that the wedding took place at precisely 2 o'clock that day. . Slymp kins was not there, and I haven't seen him since, but when I do see him well; I'll write you about it Tit-Bits. : Colder Than the North Pole. . Walter Wellman, who" has been to the arctic regions himself, says that Mel ville s theory of an eternal ocean ice cap is as indefensible as the old notion of an Open polar sea. At the pole the mean annual temperature is reckoned at 2 de grees F. above zero. In summer it is doubtless often so warm there that the Incky explorer who. reaches its neigh borhood, will pull at his sledge with bare bands and without any coat to in cumber him.. During three months of summer the mercury Would not fall below-10 degrees above zero. 1 He might pass a whole winter there without see ing the mercury drop any lower than it occasionally falls in Manitoba and north ern Minnesota. But he would find a steadier cold. For three months, proba bly, he wonld have no higher tempera ture than 20 degrees below. : Arctio climate, like' many other things in , that region, is little under stood by people who have not given the subject special study. In that country it is always cold when the wind blows, summer or winter. But even in winter, when the wind is light or still, a well clad man can move about in comfort. , In Memory of Flora BfacDonald. It is well over ; a century since the death of Flora MacDonald, who made herself famous by the aid she gave in 1746 to "the pretender" Charles Stuart in his escape from the king's troops, but never before this has her memory been honored by a monument of any kind. Now, at last, a stained glass window is to be put up as memorial of her courage and devotion in a church in the isle of Skye. This is the place of safety, it will be recalled, to which she conducted bon nie Prince Charlie, disguised as her wo man servant a piece of loyalty to the exiled house for which she was reward ed by several months' imprisonment . ANOTHER CONGRESSMAN. Paine's Celery Compound, the Great Spring Remedy, Made Him Well. v A congressman is a public servant in the full sense of the word. He is responsible to his constituents, to his party, to himself the honorable office is full of hard, . thankless work, and heavy responsibility. Congressman William W. Grout is grateful to the friend who directed him to Paine's oelery compound, when pro longed official work had well nigh ex hausted his health and strength. His letter reads: ' Committee on Expenditures the War) Dept., House Rep., TJ. 8 ' Washington, D. C, Feb. 28, 1896.) -I found relief in Pain'e oelery compound for insomnia. Its action on the circula tion and digpstion was also beneficial. .. Very truly yours, William W. Grout. , There is something wrong when one feels "tired all the time." It is contrary to every condition of good health. There ought to be no necessity of drumming into the ears of tired men and women who feel they are broken in health, and are every day loBing in weight and strength, the urgent need of taking Paine's , celery . compound, now 'tis spring, to restore their spent nerve force and purify their blood.. . Some of the earliest good results no ticed from taking Paine's celery com pound during these spring days is a regularity of the bowels, a better appe tite, sound sleep, and good digestion. A healthy blood supply is regulated by tbo nerve . and when tho vital Ho. Look For Imitations of Walter Baker & Co.'s Premium No. i Chocolate. Always ask for, and see that cle made by Walter Baker & Co., She 'Preached the Sermon. The Bev. Dr. Henry Wheeler was to have preached his farewell sermon in the Methodist church of Media, Pa., on a recent Sunday, but was So ill that he was unable to do so. The people got a farewell sermon, however, for his wife took his place in the pulpit and preach ed an effective sermon appropriate to the occasion. The highest tobaccos is "Just as good as Durham." Every old knows there is none just as good as : , , hBOI til You will find one eacn two ounce pons msiue eacn bas of Black wr-11 Buy- a bag of this cele brated tobacco and read the i " e- of valuable presents and how t.v tt- it the nam of Wnman . -pv; Tt : fulinrei;evingthebackaches,headache which burden And ahm-fam a women taatifV fnr it "nJii Zu'nu ann ma in It fa m hlaBaNim T- ..i. i sues become fatigued and badly nour ished, the bad effeot is seen in failing digestion, distressing, ringing sounds in the ears, dizzy spells, depression, neuralgia and lassitude. Spring days afford every one the opportunity for shaking off old weaknesses and persist ent disorders. , Physioians of every school have been from the start nrged to inquire into the . formula of Paine's oelery com pound, that they might satisfy them selves of its wonderful power of mak ing the sick well. , Prot Edward E. Phelps, M. D., LL, D. , as soon as he presented Paine's oelery compound "to his fellow physicians, was always anx ious to have the invigorator tried in oases that resisted the nsnal methods of treatment, that he might prove the truth of every claim made for his new ly disoovered formula for Paine's cel ery oompound. The great remedy al ways gave relief, and in 99 cases out of 100 made people well. , . Paine's celery oompound cannot be judged by the standard of any ordinary medioine, sarsaparilla or nerve tonio. It is a great modern, soientifio discov ery, singularly unlike any remedial agent that has ever aimed to effect a similar purpose to make people well. , Paine's celery oompound is the one real spring remedy known today that never fails to benefit. Get Paine's eel ery oompound, and only Paine's colry nvmnOTinrl if.vnn wipri f.n Ko wvl' Out you get, the arti Ltd., Dorchester, Mass. SURE CURE for PILES liubiiiK uud blind, bleeding or Protruding Piles yield lit one to Dr. BO-SAN-KO'S PILE REMEDY. Stops itch- iusjbaorba tumors. A positivecure. Circulars lent free. Prlot 0o. DruggUtt r mfcU. 1U. U08ANKO, PfalU F. MRS. WINSLO WS soW - FOR CHILDREN TEETHING - For sale by all Irnn-t. 5 Cent a nettle. N. P, N. U. No. 652. S. b N. U. No. 729 claim for other smoker coupon inside bag, and two cou lour ounce 's Tlnrli am iucui. The very remarkable and certain relief given woman by MOURE'S v lu i MB given "FOl an dwS VssJUT a V e a K n.e 8 ... ' me- -ibousands of , iflll race J -vjAyjtt;tt-jjK4jNK DRVQ CO., Portland, Agents.