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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 11, 1895)
Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U.S. Gov't Report
THE CANNY SCOTCHMAN.
His Vice and His Virtues Compared With
.Those of Other Folks.
One ia not quite sure that the religi
osity of the Scotch makes them so much
more virtuous than people who pay less
attention to "the means of grace." But
while it cannot readily be proved that
they have more' of the positive virtues
than their neighbors there is at least
some reason to believe that they are
freer from a few of the ugly vices than
their southern cousins, although when
the Scot is bad he is very bad. When he
gives way to drink, for instance, he
runs to great lengths. But it will be
found that there is much less wife beat'
iug (there being nothing in Scotland at
all resembling the frightful practice of
"clogging" known in Lancashire
towns), .much less cruelty to children
much more kindliness and fellow feel
ing( among the Scottish people than
among tho English, while at the same
time the Scotch are not nearly so clan
nish as the Irish, the Jews ' or the Chi
nese. ' v : ,: ' ; '. ' ';
i ln his poem on "Nothing" Rochester
has classed "Scotch civility" along with
French truth" and "Hibernian learn
ing" as being nonexistent. Even Walter
Scott causes Mr. Owen to speak of
typical Sept like Bailie Nicol Jarvie, as
','that oross grained crabstick of the
Saltmarket," and are we not told that
the term "Scot" as well as "Gael," de
rived from a word for "wind," means
"the violent, stormy people?" In spite
of all this and much- more to the same
end,. the Scot, take him all in all, is not
lairiy cnargeaoie witn Deing lacking in
oonrtesy. The word "couthy" (the op-
posit e or positive of "uncouth," dimin
utived by the addition of the terminal
"y") signifying a combination of quiet
kindliness and sweetness of manner, has
no English equivalent, and thus would
seem to indicate a peculiarly Scotch
quality, which, it may be said, tends to
' wane considerably with: the growth of
commercialism, giving place to a brus
query peculiarly the outcome of the
"rush" of business, and what Carlyle
called the "mere cash hexus" between
man and man.
Scottish speech abounds in what may
be called pet words, which would seem
to testify that, whether the Scotch be
stormy and sharp tongned or not, they
can, upon occasion, be as insinuatingly
smooth tongued as the wily Italian him
self. Westminster .Review.
; ' I do not hesitate, Mr. Stalate," she
remarked gently,' "'to say that -you are
a young man of excellent habits, but I
am very much' 'afraid - that you would
spend too much of your time away from
home." ' ; . .-' v ,
"Why do you think so?"
"Because," and she yawned a little,
"you spend so much time away from
home now. Washington Star.
The fool is always dead sure that his
own way of doing things is the best, if
not the only way, but the wise man
wonders if there isn't A better way than
the one he has adopted. ;.',-,
What an admirable recipe for happi-
ness to know how to do without things I
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which ots directly on parts affected, absorbs tnmorm, ai
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CHRIS WHrHF 111 FISf fillS.
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A LITTLE CHILD.
Bright, golden curls and innocent white brow.
And lips like red rose petal blown apart,
And laughing eyes of blue I I pray you now,
' Come yet a little closer to my heart I
Nay, fear rue not I Thy child heart under
Love that trusts all and knows not to con
demn, Give me to hold thy tiny, tender hands,
That I may warm my withered soul with
Oh, let me feel since in my memory
No earthly love npon my life hath smiled
That heaven In mercy hath reserved for me
The kisses and the clinging of a child.
Cartons Calabrlan Customs Which May Be
- Observed In New York. .1
In the Italian quarter I found myself
the other day in a home which had been
darkened by a double misfortune. A lit
tle Italian boy had fallen from a lire es
cape to the street and been instantly
killed. His widowed mother, when she
came upon, the body of her son, went
mad with grief and attempted to take
her own life. She was taken .to the hos
pital. The boy's body lay upon a table, and
a blazing candelabrum stood at its head.
At the side the boy's foster father and
his wife knelt in prayer. Seated about
the room was a group of women chant
ing an Italian death wail. One of the
women raised her face, and her quaver
ing voice filled the room :
"Happiness has departed from us for
ever!" . , .
And the others droned the refrain :
"He will never be absent from our
thoughts!" 1 " v
"Never from our thoughts !"
And so on, strophe and autistrophe, 1
the chief wailer leading and the chorus,
echoing the dismal refrain. It was a
sight and a sound to move even the
tardy sensibilities of a reporter.
" Such scenes are not unoommon in the
Italian quarter, though they seldom
come under the eye of visitors. 'The pro
fessional mourner is an institution in
some of the provinces of southern Italy.
She the office belongs entirely to the
softer sex is analogous to the Irish
"keener," but with the difference that
her wail is more musical than weird,
whereas the "keener" is weird, pierc
ing almost anything but musical
The Italian wailers they are called
"prefiche" in their native tongue are
doubtless descendants of the profession
al mourners of. ancient Rome. They are
most common, and their office is most
clearly defined in the provinoes of Abruz
zo aud Calabria and in Sicily. There
they are regularly retained and reward'
ed with a fee. In other provinces a rel
ative of the afflicted family may assume
the office and lead the chorus, or the
function may be of a wholly miscellane-
ous character, all the mourners joining
in a song of woe. New York Herald.
President Polk's Nashville Home. -
The old Polk place on Vine street, the
home of President James K. Polk, and
the scene of many brilliant gatherings in
former days, is viewed with interest by
many visitors to Nashville. Many ex
pressions of regret are heard from those
who view the picturesque Pol place for
the. first time that the historic old home
stead should have been allowed to fall
into such a state of dilapidation. They
think the old place should be maintain
ed in good repair for the' sake of the
memories that surround it. It has been
suggested more than once that it would
make an ideal home for the official resi
dence of Tennessee's governors. The
excuse that can be very properly offered
by Nashvillians for the present condi
tion of the Polk place is that they have
nothing to do with it, the property being
in litigation. It is feared that ultimate
ly, in the division of the property, the
old place will be cut up into lots, and
if that is done the home of Polk will
become only a memory. Nashville
, . Gratitude.
Gratitude is a short cut to sincere and
lasting friendship. Some .people com
plain that they have no friends. Have
they never had a favor done to them?
Why, every man has had a score of fa
vors done him every day of his life !
Those who bear it in mind, who say a
word of hearty thanks, who watch a
chance to do a favor in return, never
lack friends. ,.
An Easy Mark. '
"May I awsk what you have?" re-
uested the tenderfoot politely.
'Ace high," said Alkali Ike grimly.
"Oh, dear me. And I've only got
three kings. . Seems to me I neveh have
any luck at pokah. " ,
' 'Taint all luck, mister. It's speri-
enoe. You 11 lam arter awhile. New
Tailor I have called after my ac
count, Dr. A.
Debtor Here is the money, but I
have deducted 5 shillings because you
have come in my consultation hour.
London Tit Bits. . , .
A monopoly is a good deal like a baby.
A man is opposed to it on general prin
ciples until he has one of his own. Ex
The strength of the average horse is
estimated to be equal to that of 1
average men. '
A GREAT FISHERMAN.
He Could Land His Prey From Water
Other Men Fished Blank.
Charles Grant had a great and well
deserved reputation for finding a fish in
water which other men had fished blank,
This was partly because, from long fa
miliarity with the river, he knew all
the likeliest casts, partly because he was
sure to have at the end of his casting
line just the proper fly for the size of
water and . condition of weather, and
partly because of his quiet, neat handed
manner of dropping his line on the wa
ter. mere is a story still current on
Speyside illustrative of this ; gift of
Charlie in finding a fish where people
Who rather fancied themselves had fail
ed a story which Jamie Shanks to this
day does not care to hear. Mr. Russel of
The Scotsman had done his very best
from the quick run at the top of the
pool of Dalbreck, down to the almost
dead still water at the bottom of that
fine stretch, and had found no luck.
Jamie Shanks, who. was with Mr.
Russel as his fisherman, had gone over
it to no purpose with a fresh fly. 1 They
were grumpishly discussing whether
they should give Dalbreck another turn,
or go on to Pool-o-Brock, the next pool
down stream, when Charles Grant made
his appearance and asked the waterside
question, "What luck?" "No luck at
all, Charlie!" .was Russel's answer,
"Deevil a rise!" was Shanks' sourer re
ply. In his demure, purring way Charles
Grant, who, in his manner, was a du
plicate of the late Lord Granville, re
marked, "There ought to be a fish come
out of that pool." "Tak' him out,
then!" exclaimed Shanks gruffly.
"Well, I'll try," quoth the soft spoken
Charlie, and just at that spot, about 40
yards from the head of the pool, where
the current slackens and the fish lie
awhile before breasting the upper rapid,
he hooked a fish. 'Then it was that Rus
sel, in the genial manner which made
provosts swear, remarked, "Shanks,
advise you to take half a year at Mr.
Grant's school. " "Fat for?" inquired
Shanks sullenly. "To learn to fish," re
plied the master of sarcasm of the deli
cate Scottish variety. Nineteenth Cen
THREE FOR A NICKEL.
A Shrewd Ohio- Postmaster Causes a Rush
For Postage Stamps. .
The business world of the .village of
Johnstown, in Ohio, had succumbed to
the heat and had lain down for the sum
mer siesta Plainly things needed a stir
ring up, and it was Postmaster and Edi
tor W. A. Ashbrooke who did it. His
bumble instruments were merely a piece
of white pasteboard and some black
paint, the latter, however, mixed with
a shrewd quality of brains.
When his preparation was finished, a
large placard challenged the notice of
all passersby with the startling legend,
Postage stamps, three for 5 cents.'
The first response to this alluring state
ment was from a drummer. He accosted
the postmaster, "Do you mean to say
that you actually sell three postage
stamps for a nickel?" The postmaster
replied that this was undoubtedly the
case. "Well, said the drummer,
1 never saw a reduction in stamps before.
1 ;i taKe worth. 1 don t need 'em,
but it's the best bargain in stamps
ever heard of. "
He waited with a gratified smile
while Mr. Ashbrooke put his $2 bill in
the drawer and counted out the stamps.
By this time his expression of compla
cency had given place to one of chagrin,
and as he pocketed the stamps he re
marked, "Well, that's one on me. "
Presently a winsome girl came trip
ping up with a letter to her sweetheart.
wnen sne reaa the placard, her eyes
sparkled with pleasure to think that the'
stream of coin she was steadily pouring
into Uncle Sam s coffers was to be even
slightly diminished. She laid down a
nickel with a confident air and said,
"Give me three stamps." , , - 1 ,
The obliging collector of government
revenues pushed her out two twos and a
one. Then perhaps he didn't pay for his
little joke. Feminine scorn held : the
floor in that office for the next five min
utes. Then, with the somewhat feeble
peroration, "Will Ashbrooke, you think
you're smart, don't you?" the offended
maiden flounced out of the office.
Pittsburg Paper. " -
Rourfi on the Parson.
McBride told a party of his friend
this story :." You know, boys, little peo
ple have sharp ears, and they are not at
all backward about telling any little
scraps of information they pick up. This
peculiarity has led a good many parents
to resort to spelling words when their
young children are present. Of course
that sort of thing is of no avail after the
youngsters learn to spell. Well,. Mrs.
McBride and I are in the spelling stage
now, and little Freddie is often very
much mystified by our remarks to each
other. Last night we had our new min
ister to dinner, and, Freddy watched the
good man helping himself very liberal
ly to biscuits. He thought it a good op
portunity to put into use the family
verbal cipher, feeling perfectly certain
that the minister would find it unintel
ligible, so he called out, 'Mamma!' -
" 'What is it, Freddy?' -
" 'Mamma, isn't the m-i-n-i-s-t-e-r a
p-i-g?' spelled out Freddy triumphant
ly. New York Telegram.
Judge What's the charge against this
Green Policeman Faith, Oi believe
they calls it "shop liftin," sor. '
Judge You believe? Don't you know?
Explain what he did. '
Policeman Why, he troied t' blow
up a droy goods sthore he wor . dis
charged from. Philadelphia Record.
The Reason of It.
Paresis I have just discovered why
political aspirants always have their
legs pulled. .
Giglamp Why? ''..;.'
Paresis So that they can take longer
strides when running. for office. New
A VETERAN EDITOR.
R. B. AVERY WAS A NEWSPAPER
MAN BEFORE THE WAR.
Health Shattered by Hardship Suffered
all That Man Could Stand, and
, Finally Won the Fight.
From the Examiner, fan Francisco, Cal.
At the opening of the civil war Rich
ard B. Avery, now residing at 345
Thirteenth street, San Franoisco, was
an . associate editor . on the Chicago
Times. Chicago was not then the
great commercial and industrial center
that she is today, nor had the Times
even begun to be the great representa
tive journal of the inland metropolis,
as it has become in late years under
the control and direction of the late
Carter Harrison. At that time Mr.
Avery was a man 30 years ot age, and
had come to his position as an editorial
writer after twenty years of service in
various branches of the newspaper bus
iness, having begun his apprenticeship
as a compositor at 10 years of age.
When President Lincoln issued the first
oall for volunteers, Mr. Avery threw
aside all the bright prospects which
lay before him' in the journalistic field
and joined his fortunes with those of
the North. He enlisted as a volunteer
and fought with the Union army until
the close of the war. He took part in
some of the fiercest battles of the war,
and when he received his discharge
was considerably broken down in
health. By continued exposure to the
severe weather that prevailed during
many of the campaigns, Mr. Avery
contracted an acute form of neuralgia
in the head. He suffered excruciating
pain, and passed many sleepless nights
on account of the disease. He came
to California several years ago, but the
change of climate did not afford him
much relief, for the neuralgio attacks
reourred at stated periods, and the pain
was so intense at times that he was
driven almost to desperation.
"It was while I was suffering from
one of the most violent of these at'
tacks," said Mr. Avery, "that 1 was
persuaded to try Williams' Pink Pills
for Pale People, after having used sev
eral other remedies without relief.
was glad to accept ' anything that
would even temporarily ease my suffer
ing. : - Why, for three months during
one winter I did not pass one restful
night. There was not a moment dur
ing all that time in which I was free
from the awful neuralgio pains. When
you consider that I, am 64 years old
you must know how rapidly my system
was being undermined through the
mental distress that I endured. I had
not taken more than half a box of
Williams' Pills before I felt a decided
relief. . The neuralgia was not so pain
ful, and I was enabled to sleep during
the night in ' comparative comfort.
Having felt the initial results of the
pills, 1 continued to take, and just as
steadily did I continue experiencing
relief from the neuralgia. I did not
stop until I had taken seven boxes of
the pills, although the neuralgia had
entirely left me long before that time,
The pills certainly possess wonderful
curative properties, and I feel perfectly
free in recommending them to anyone
who is afflicted with neuralgia. . My
faith in the pills is increased by , the
fact that my relief has been permanent.
I have never felt the least indication
of a return of the neuralgia -' to my
head, so I know that the relief I have
received through using the pills has
been effective. I have already advised
several of my friends to , use the pills,
and I think that a number of them
have done so, with good results."
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills contain,
in condensed form, all the elements
necessary to give new life and rich
ness to the blood - and restore shattered
nerves. They are an unfailing specific
for such diseases as locomotor ataxia,
partial paralysis, St. Vitus' dance, sci
atica,- neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous
headache the after-effect of la grippe,
palpitation of the heart, pale and sal
low complexions, all forms of weak
ness either in male or female. Pink
Pills are sold by all dealers,, or will
be sent postpaid on receipt of price (50
cents a box, or six boxes for $2.50
they are never sold in bulk or by the
100) by addressing Dr. Williams' Med
icine Company, Schenectady, N. Y.
NEW WAY EAST NO DUST.
Go East from Portland. Pendleton. Walla
Walla via O. R. & N. to Spokane and Great
Northern Railway to Montana, Dakotas, St.
Paul. Minneanolis. Chicago. Omaha. Bt
Louis, East and South. Rock-ballast track;
nne scenery : new equipment : Ureat JN ortn-
ern Palace bleepers and Diners; Family
Tourist Cars: Buffet-Library Cars. Write
O. C. Donovan, General Agent, Portland.
Oregon, or P. I. Whitney, G. P. & T. A.,
St. Paul, Minn., for printed matter and in
formation about rates, routes, etc. ..
I believe Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my boy's life last summer. Mas.
Am ib Douglass, Le Roy, Mich., Oct. 20,
1894. - - ' ,'
Tbt Gibmia for breakfast.
Catarrh caused hoarse-
nest and diffcuUv in sneak
ing. I also to a great ex-
text ion hearing, jsy the
use of Ely's Cream Jjalm
dropping of mucus has
ceasea, voice ana hearing
have greatly improved. J
ft. Vaviason, Att rnev-at-
Law, Monmouth, II
ELY'S CREAM BALM Opens and cleanses
the Nasal Passages, Allays rain and innamina
tlon. Heals the Sores. Protects the Membrane
from colds, Restores the Senses of Taste and
Smell. The Balm is quickly absorbed and give
relief at once.
A particle is applied into each nostril, and u
agreeable. Price, 60 oents at Druggists' or b;
mail. , ELY BROTHERS,
66 Warren Street, New York. ;
- FOR CHILDREN TEETHING
1 1 For sale by all Oravclatt. 85 Cents a battU. , 1
POTS AND STOVES.
The fires of energy are lighted very soon
in life and the struggle begins, as the say
ing "to keep the pot boiling." But speak
ing literally, fires are still kindled with
kerosene, and many a pot boils over or is
overturned. Frightful burns and scalds
result in spite of warning and suffering.
The thing is then not to preach but to
practice, and the practice is for a sure cure,
to use St. Jacobs Oil according to directions.
In case of doubt in a Kentucky poker game
always draw tooth guns.:
.-. ONE MILLION DOIX IRS t I ,
Think of it! Yet this sum has been ex
pended this year in purchasing a late, up-to-date
typewriting machine, that only
weighs six pounds. No ribbon, type
changeable instantly, perfect alignment,
dues oeautitul manifold work, is equal to
tne highest pricrd machine in quality of
work and excels them in convenience.
These are only a few of the reasons why
the public have spent a million dollars for
them. The Western Union Telegraph
Company have contracted for 4,000 ot them
for use in their offices. This typewriter is
known as the ''Blickensderfer," the "Blick"
for short. It is the only thoroughly prac
tical and reliable medium-prioed machine
111 me uiar&et. irrice nee. iive agents
witn experience wan tea lor every town ana
county in Oreeon. Washington and Idaho.
Address, C. 8. Jackson & Co., Pendleton,
ur., north west agents. ..,.. .,.,....
100 REWARD, SIOO.
The readers of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure
in all its staees and that is Catarrh. Hall's
Catarrh Cure is the only positive care now
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces ot the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
of the disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing its work,
the proprietors have so much faith in its
uraiive powers, that they offer One Hun
dred Collars for any case that it fails to
cure. Send for list of Testimonials.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
OVSold by Druggists, 75c.
PITS. All Fits stopped free by Ir Kline's
Grat Nerve Restorer. No F'ts after the tirst
day's use. Marvelous cures. Treatise and J2.00
rial bo tile free to Fit cases. Send to Sr. Kilne,
431 Arch St., Philadelphia. Pa.
It Will Pay
To make some provision for your physi
cal health at this season, because a cold
or cough, an attack of pneumonia or ty
phoid fever now may make you an Invalid
all winter. First of all be sure that your
blood is pure, for ' health depends upon
pure blood. A few bottles of Hood's Sar
saparilla will be a paying investment now.
It will give you pure, rich blood and in
vigorate your whole system. ' .
. , .-. ! Is the One True Blood Purifier. ,
U--t-l'o Ditto are tasteless, mild, effeo
nOOQ S flllS tive. All druggists. 25c;
GiilCKEfl RAISING PAYS
if you use the Petalom
Make money while
other are wasting
time bv old processes.
Catalog telis all about
it, and describes every
article needed for the,
mechanically the best
I We are Pacific Coast
Agents. Bicvcle cata-
lorue.mailed free .gives
full description, prices, etc., agents wanted.
PETALUMA IHCUBAT0R C0.,Petalnma,CsJ.
Branch House, 131 S Main St., Los Angeles.
Walter Eater & Go. Limited,
Tht Largoit Xraufatumt of
. PURE, HIGH GRADE
Cocoas and Chocolates
On thli Continent, litre rtcird
from the gnat
Industrial and Food
IN EUROPE AND AMERICA.
of the label and wrapper! on our -goodi,
coniumen should make rare
that our place of manufacture, '
namalr. ovoliat?i. ft! a.aa.
la printed on each package.
SOLD BY GROCERS EVERYWHERE.
WALTER BAKER A CO. LTD. DORCHESTER, MASS.
BEST IN THE WORLD.
Its wearlne dualities are nnsurrjaflseil . aotn allv
outlasting two boxes of any other brand. Free
from Animal Oils. GET THIS OlSNCINK.
FOB SAKE BY OREGON AND , .
, . uiu isetuers generally, r
I JUST OUT SEN1
SEND FOR ONE :
rWb Catalogue i-JI
If 11 . 4
DON'T BORROW TROUBLE." BUY
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
fently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Aver and Bowels, cleanses the sys
tem effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Srrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known,
r Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50c
and $i bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly, for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
LOUISVILLE, KY. NEW YORK. N Y.
In Every Detail.
These engine are acknowledged by expert en
gineers to be worthy of highest commendation
for simplicity, high-grade material and superior
workmanship. They develop the full actual
horse power, and run without an Electric Spars
Battery ; the system of ignition is simple, inex
pensive and reliable.
For pumping outfits for irrigating purposes
no better engine can be found on the Pacific
For hoisting outfits for mines they have met
with highest approval.
. For intermittent power their economy is un
questioned. MANUFACTURED BY
PALMER I KEY TYPE FOUNDRY,
PORTLAND, - ORECON
Send for catalogue. -
IMPROVED ' "r
A MILD PHYSIC.
ONEPIM. FOR A DOSE. ,
health. These pills supply what the system lacks to
maks it regular. They oure Headache, brighten the
Eyes, and clear the Complexion better than oosmeUcs,
They neither gripe nor sicken. To convince you, we
will mail sample ireo, or a f nil box for 26o. Sold every
Wswr SOSAM&Q MED. 0OM Philadeljcliia, V
I Buelt Lamberson
J .. SEEDSMAN...
f 205 Third St.... PORTLAND
-in KEGS OR BOTTLES)
Second to none ' TRY IT... "
No maiter where from. PORTLAND, OR.
EN'QIHES ' .
DO YOU FEEL BAD? DOES YOUR BACK
ache? Does every Btep seem a burden? Yon need
MOORE'S v REVEALED REMEDY.
'TIS CHEAPER IN THE END.