The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, September 29, 1894, Image 4

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Nothing can be substituted for
the Royal Baking Powder
and give as good results.
! No other leavening agent will make such
light, sweet, delicious, wholesome food.
5. , , If some grocers urge another baking pow
der upon you, it' is because of the greater
profit upon it. This of itself is evidence of the
superiority of the "Royal." To give greater
. profit the other must be a lower cost powder,
and to jpst less it must be made with cheaper,
' and inferior materials, and thus, though selling
- for the same, give less value to the 'consumer.
To insure the finest cake, the most whole
' some food,' be sure that no substitute for
.. Royal Baking Powder is accepted by you.
. 4
,. .4
. Swallowed Her Dead Husband.
The only case on record of a discon
solate widow swallowing the remains
of her dead husband-is t'.mt of Arte
mesia drinking a glass of wine in which
tile ashes of Mausolus had been stirred
for that purpose. . The parties to this re
markable transaction were brother and
sister and also husband and wife. Mau
solus was king of Caria and reigned
about 300 years before Christ. After
bis death his remains were burned and
the ashes disposed of as related". St.
Louis Republic :-.
'. Flat-iron. :-
"The Chinese are a very anoient
. "Yes. You will discover in our Amer
ican oities that they belong .to the age
iron " Boston Gazetfa
r .OF'.-
Thorough system and instruction ; good teach
ers; low terms; short time; positions to com
petents. Mail orders carefully and promptly
attended to. For further particulars call on or
address KDITH A. BROWN,
, , , , 42 Hamilton Building, Portland, Or.
Manufacturing Jeweler
All kinds ol iewelrv made to order and re
paired at reasonable rates. Rooms 8 and 10,
2S2H Washington street, Portland, Or.
13 ALL
rlgh t,
but it is
Dot ahead of bread made with T '.
Every can Is guaranteed pure,
, 834 Alder street, Portland, Or.
Bank and Office Railings, Prune Graders, Fruit
Dipping Basket" and all kinds of Wire and Iron
Work. Send tor catalogue. .
: Dr. Williams' Indian Pile
I Ointment will cure Blind,
'Bleedingr and Itohinir Piles.
1 It absorbs the tumors, allays
, the ltohing at once, acts as a poul
1 tice. Blveslnstant relief. Dr. Will-
I iams' Indian Pile Ointment is prepared
for Piles and Itchinir of the private
part8. Every box is warranted. By drug-
iriflta. rv mull mi rpflplnt of nriop. fiO cental
and $1.00 Williams manufacturing co.,
proprietors, uieveiana, onio.
W. L. Douglas
2 A? Boys'SchoolSHQEI,
3- BesTPNG014
. - T can mt money by wearlac tk I
' ' . W. t. Dondu $3.00 Shoe.
' Because, w. are the largest manufacturers at
thia gradaof shoes in the world, and guarantee
value by stamping the name and prioe on the
bottom, which protect yon at alnat high prloea ana
' the middleman's profits. Our shoes equal oustom
work In style, easy fitting and wedrlng qualities.
We have them sold everywhere ai lower prloea for
the value given than any other make. Take no sub
stitute. If your dealer oannot supply yen, we eaa.
Thr dnRee onlv.
Trv 1t.
Men's Suits at $8.50, $10.00, $12.50, $15.00, $20.00. ' ry
: Mens Overcoats, $10.00, $12.50,-$15.00, $18.00. ' ' " "
Young Men's Suits, $3.00, $4.50, $5.00, $8.00, $10.00. 1
Boys' Knee-Pants Suits, $1.25, $1.75, $2.50, $3.50, $4.00, $5.00. ; ;
Oregon Wool Socks, 3 pairs for 50 cents. '- ' "
. : White-Laundried Shirts, 50 cents.
If you can't see us, write for goods.
' A Check to Genius.
"What are you in here for?" asied
the prison visitor. . . . .
. "P)agiarism, " answered the convict
"What?" . ,
: ,. "Plagiarism. I tried to publish a pri
vate issue of. $50 greenbacks. "In
dianapolis Journal. , , . ,.-,
A sack sewer in a Pendleton (Or.) flour
icill challenges the. northwest for the
championship on his record of sewing
np 600 50-pound sacks inside five hours.
or about two sacks a minute. '
Moses Loria, who was born in Mantua
In 1814, died lately in Milan, leaving
fy.OOO.OOO to the city to establish an in
lernational home for laboring people out
of employment.
to health and strength, if you're a nervous,
delicate woman. The medicine to cure you,
the tonic to build you up, is Dr. Pierce's Fa
vorite Prescription. You can depend upon
it The makers say it will help you, or cost
you nothing. They guarantee it.
As a safe and certain remedy for woman's
ailments, nothing can compare with the
" Prescription." It's an invigorating, re
storative tonic, and a soothing, strengthen
ing nervine, perfectly harmless in any con-
ution 01 the remade system.
It's a marvelous remedy for. nervous and
fsneral debility, St. Vitus s Dance, Fainting
pells, Dizziness, Sleeplessness, and all the
Bervous disorders due to functional derange
ments. It has often, by restoring the wo
manly luncuons, cured cases 01 insanity.
Cream Balm.
Apply a particle of
the Balm well up into
the nostrils. After a
moment draw strong
breath through the
nose. TJse three times
a day, after meals pre
ferred, and before re
Opens and cleanses the
Is'H-al Passages, Allays
Pain and Infiemma-
ferihr&COLD'N HEAD
brane from Colds, Restores the Senses of Taste
ana Bmeu. The ualm Is quickly absorbed and
ftivw renei ai once, .race du cents at uruggibts'
or by mail. , ELY BROTHERS, . ,
66 Warren Street, New York. ,
Do You Cough?
It is a sure sign of weakness.
You need more than a tonic.
You need
the Cream of Cod-liver Oil
and Hypophosphltes,not only
to cure the Cough but to give
your system real strength.
Physicians, the 7 world oyer,
"endorse it. '
Don't be deceived by Substitutes!
. Prepared by Scott A Bowue, N. Y. All Druggists.
. m
ache? : Does everv step seem a burden? Yon need
Blue Corner, Morrlton and Second Sti ,
How Nebraska Farmot Sought a New
V TorkWife.
This advertisement, which has the merit
of stating just what the advertiser wants.
appeared in, a New York newspaper the
other day: ..... .
John McCarten, aged 63 years I am going
home to live on my farm. I have 160 acres of
land, no debts or mortgages; personal property
12 miles from Hemingford, Neb. I want to
marry a working Protestant girl if she suits
me: stoat and good looking: medium height:
from 16 to 28 years of age. You must have as
good a character as when you were 9 years of
age; must have f 100. I will not receive any
. ' " JOHN M'CARTEK. - ' "
letters. I have patent right to my land and
receipt for taxes to show. Call at Si Third
avenue; ring bell. I can be interviewed for
six days at said address
Of course a good looking young woman
reporter of The World answered the ad
vertisement. That's a way the New York
women reporters have. ." This is her story:
John McCarten is not ba3 looking, de
spite his 53 years. His clear blue eyes and
erect carriage show that he is a man of
good habits and unabated energy. The
panting landlord of 81 Third avenue
showed me up numberless steps to John's
room. In answer to my knock he said,
"Come in," and J, walked In and walked
right out again. It was a hall bedroom,
containing a bed, a washstand and one
chair. ... .
"I was iist goln out to eat," said John
McCarten, coming .into the hall, where I
stood, ' but I'll wait a little while, though
I'm powerful hungry.
' That, of course, impressed me most fav
orably. Here was a man who would not
long postpone his dinner to gain a wife.
- "Mr. McCarten," I began, and I could
feel that I was blushing, "I saw your ad
vertisement for a wife. Will I dof I am
a good, hardworking girl. Will I fill all
the requirements?"'
'Well, I dunno," he answered musing
ly, while he looked me over from head to
toe, I think you might do. Only, you
see, we will have to talk about it first.
Ca-ca-can you milk a cowl"'
- He was plainly nervous. He seemed to
fear that I would take him out and marry
him forthwith. .
''Why did you advertise for a wife?" I
asked. "Are there not enough girls out
where you live without coming to New
York for a wife?"
"Well, there's plenty of girls out there, "
he said, "but they're shiftless. - The one I
did want to marry was a-waitin for me,
but when I went away to earn some money
she went and married some one else, and
that's1 it. Can you feed hogsf" - . ;
"Why, Mr. McCarten, do you-require
that the woman you marry shall have
HOOF" . 1
1 "Well, you see,". he answered, leering,
"there's many things to buy when we go
to Nebraska. There's a team, pigs and
many little things. Maybe you can't
oookf" -.,.-
" Yes. I am a good cook. "
"Sure, I'm mighty glad o' that. I'm
thinkin of havin me sister and her hus
band live with us. Would you mind that?"
"Oh, no."
"Good for you. Mo sister is delicate,
but I would build them a house like ours
and rent half me land to him. There is no
fince around the house, but a fine well
and a chicken house. How many chickens
have you iver killed?" .
"What kind of a house do you live In?"
I asked question for question.
"It's built o' sods, but the inside is ce
mented. After you dig nine feet out there,
the soil Is as white as any cement, and
that's on the Inside of me house. One of
the neighbors wrote me a letter and told
me there was a leak in the house and
asked me whether he hadn't better take
the furniture out and keep it in his house.
I wrote him noj that I would soon be
home meself and 'tend to things. " :'
"Where do you live, miss?" he asked
suddenly. ." ... .
"In West Fourteenth street. I am a
typewriter and work In a down town of
fice." ......
"There would be no trouble about the
money?" he asked, after a minute's si
lence, during which he looked at me again
from top to toe. ' "You could get the $100
all right?" - - t -
"Oh, yes!" I answered. - "I have more
than that. But tell me what work do you
expect your wife to do on the farm? I am
strong, but I am not used to very hard
work." r ' ',.' ; . , X. .
'Only cook for us two to eat," he an
swered, ''an keep the house clean and
feed the chickens an 'tend the hogs an
milk the cow. That's not hard work for a
strappin woman like you. But you haven ' t
told me whether you have ever fed hogs or
milked a cow."
' "I have not. But I might learn even
that." . . . - 5
"To be sure you could. I'd learn you."
"Well, then," I said, everything being
seemingly settled to his satisfaction, "I'll
go home and think It over, and tomorrow
If you are of the same mind"
"Oh, I came near forgettini" he inter
rupted. ''What religion are you?" . -
'I am a Catholic," I answered unthink
ingly. ' '
. "You won't do, "he said, with great
posltiveness. "You won't do at all, at all.
I want peace in the house."
Mr. McCarten, I should have said, came
from the north of Ireland. .
She Was Kissing Crazy.
A young Frenchwoman has been arrest
ed at Brussels for kissing all the men she
met in the street. Some of them com
plained of her conduct, and a policeman
was sent to her place of residence to take
her into custody. The policeman was
saluted in the same way as the complain
ants. At the police station the woman
tried hard to. embrace the inspector on
duty, but in this case she failed. A doc
tor who was called in to see her declared
that she was suffering from mental do-wngnment.
A Jellyfish swam in a trobical sea, ' '
And he said: "This world it consists of m
There's nothing above and nothing below
' That a iellyflsh ever can possibly know
(Since we've got no sight or hearing or smell)
Beyond what our single sense can tell.
Now, all that I learn from the sense of tone)
Is the fact of my feelings viewed as suon.
But to think they have any external cause
Is an inference clean against logical laws.
Again to suppose, as I've hitherto done.
There are other jellyfish under the sun
Is a pure assumption that can't be backed
By a jot of proof or a single fact.
In short, like Hume, I very much doubt
If there's anything else at all without.
So I come at lost to the plain conclusion.
When the subject is fairly set free from oon-
fusion, ,
That the universe simply centers in me.
And if I were not then nothing would be."
That minute a shark, who was strolling by.
Just gulped him down in the twink of an oye,
And he died with a tew convulsive twists.
But somehow the universe still exists.
Boston Globe.
... A Daring Trick.
"One of the most daring tricks I ever
came across, " said H. F. Farrell, a New
York attorney, "was in the case of A
man who deliberately impersonated a
lawyer's clerk and persuaded a very sick
man to sign a will without reading it,
and which disposed of his property in
direct opposition to his wishes. It was
a case of a family dispute, and the old
gentleman, who was quite wealthy, had
decided to disinherit his eldest son and
leave the property to a younger. ona
Being warned by his doctor that he had
only a day or two more to live, he sent
instructions to his attorney to draft his
will and send it down promptly for sig
nature. ' . "
"While the lawyer was preparing the
document a representative of the eldest
son arrived with a paper, which he said
was the will prepared by the sick man's
attorney. The will was signed without
hesitation and duly witnessed, and when
two hours later the lawyer's clerk ar
rived with the genuine will he was not
allowed to enter the house, being warned
off the premises by the housekeeper. On
his return to the office his employer saw
at once that a fraud had been commit
ted, and he hastened to the house to
have it set right In the meantime,
however, the sick man had become un
conscious, and he died without being
able to execute a will after his own
wishes. The bogus will was upset, but
the fraud could never be sufficiently
proved to convict the man suspected of
concocting it, and he inherited quite a
large sum of the money as next of kin.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Still Another Name.
. Life would be simplified in some of
its aspects if the same thing were al
ways called by the same name. Such is
not the case, however, and perhaps it is
better so. If there were no mysteries
and surprises, the world would be less
interesting.,. s
(Jolonel Philip Lee . was passing
through South Carolina thirty odd years
ago it was in wartime when he ac
costed an old negro with the question:
-. "I say, uncle, are there any Hugue
nots about here?" v.- ; .
The colored man looked surprised and
answered the question by another:
- "Well, I declare, where be you uns
from?": ,.; :. : v
' 'From way np in old Kentucky, "said
Colonel Lee. ' ; ' "
"Well, I thought so. : Why, in Ten
nessee they call 'em peanuts, in Georgia
they call 'em goobers, in Alabama they
is penders, here in South Carolina we
call 'em ground peas, and now yon fel
lows way off dere in Kentucky call 'em
hugonnts. Well, I do declare!" Youth's
Companion. ' ' ' ; : ..
Styles In Canine Mourning. ' V-
Traveling up Fifth avenue a few days
ago Was a woman dressed in deep mourn
ing. . With her was a beautiful grey
hound with long streamers of black rib-;
bon attached to his collar, j If the woman
was in mourning for her husband, he must
have had hard work to conceal a smile as
be gazed down on the ludicrous picture
of this 'canine decked out in yards of
black ribbon. I suppose when the stage
of semimourning comes the dog will be
arrayed in purple. New York Herald.
Is the mighty West, the land that " tickled with
a hoe laughs a harvest:" the El Dorado of the
miner; me goal oi me agricultural emigrant.
wnue it teems witn an tne elements oi weaitn
and prosperity, some of the fairest and most
fruitful portions of it bear a harvest of malaria
reaped in its fullness by those unprotected by a
medicinal safeguard. - No one seeking or dwell
ing in a malarial locality is safe from the
scourge witnout nostetter's Btomacn Bitters.
Emigrants, bear this in mind. . Commercial
travelers sojourning in malarious regions should
carry a Dot'ie oi tne Hitters in tne traditional
eriDsack. Against the effects ot exnosure. men
tal or Doauy overworx, damp ana unwnoiesome
tooa or water, it is an intaiilDie defense, con
stipation, rheumatism, biliousness, dvspepsla.
nervousness and loss of strength' are ail rome-
aiea Dy mis gemot restorative. ..
Your wife takes a great interest in the wom
an question." " She does, sir; she is so much
lanen up witn tne rignts oi woman mat sue lor
gets the men have any."
Is due to an impoverished condition of the
diooq. xt snot ja be overcome without de
lay, and the best way to accomplish this
result is to take Hood rs SarsaparUla, which
- t
will purify and
TllllliA 7
K 1 ,5 J .. - J
strength and an- '
petite and rr--
duoe sweet and
Wf IVflh I M or iliun
Hood's Pills cure naHsea, and biliousness.
50cts. I
, and
$1.00 Bottle.
One cent a do
It is sold on a guarantee by ail drus
rf fltn. Th ffliwtR Tnmniant Consumntioxl
Cream Baking Powder
Highest Award and
U Qo,d Medal
Medal and Diploma
k World's
A Triumphant March
Great Lakes to the Pacific
Dr. Price's Baking Powder ;
1 ,-i The manufacturers of Dr. Price's Cream Baking Powder
. " are gratified to announce a confirmation of the unprecedented ,
' honors gained by them at the World's Columbian Exposition.
At the recent California Midwinter International Exhibition
. they received the Highest Award and Gold Medal for baking
t powder bestowed at that splendid and highly successful fair.
The award in each case was due to .
Proved Superiority in Quality
'demonstrated ' on thorough ' analysis by ; expert chemists. '
The official examination showed Dr. Price's to be strongest
in leavening power, pure in all ingredients and perfectly ,';
v wholesome, In every particular it surpassed its competitors.
The awards were made unanimously by reliable juries. .'
These awards establish
Dr; Price's
"Foremost Baking Powder in all the World."
j-. vir. A VVuuiau auU a Clock. :.
A woman who wonld spting on aii
unsuspecting husband such ' a ghostly
looking object as an illuminated clock
deserves to lose it, as a Biddeford wom
an did. The husband awoke in the night
and saw what he took for a bullseyo
lantern staring him in jfche faca ,'Ha
made a rush for the supposed burglar,
and the clock is no . more.' ; ; ' ' V
This is one of the heaviest strains that
comes Upon any man or woman. -A. little
cold, a little hoarseness, and the work is
done. The best of ability is rendered ab
solutely aseless. ;i ; '. J
Mark Guv Pearse. the eminent English
preacher, writes as follows:
London, December 10, 1888. )
"I think it only right that I should tell
you of how much use I find Allcock's
Pobods Plasters in my family and among
those to whom I have recommended them.
I find them a very breastplate against colds
and coughs.- " - Mabk Guy Pearse."
Urandreth'8 pilia alwavs sive satisfac
She Never mind Fldo: he's onlv Dlavlne He
But he really did bite me. "Nevermind; I
don't believe a little nip like that would hurt
him, do youf!' .
We offer Ona Hundred Dollars' reward for anv
case of catarrh tbat cannot be cured by Hall's
uatarrn cure. t. J. caJENEY fi CO.,
' Toledo, O.
We. the nndersiened. have known P. J. Che-
nev for the last fifteen vears. and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transactions
and financially able to carrv out any obligations
made by their Arm. WEST & TRUAX, ;.
wnoiesaie Druggists,' roieao, u.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
TT.llf ..,. V. n.. I. ... U 1 11.. -,lnM
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system. Testimonials sent free. Prioe 75
cents per bottle. . Sold by all druggists. :
Spiritual, Liberal, Social and Political Reform
ers' Books: send lor catalogue. W. E. Jones.
291 Alder street, Portland, Or.
Use Enameline Stove Polish; no dust no smell,
Will open September 24. Prepares for college.
Gives advanced English course.
Now prepared to receive boarders as well as
day scholars. For catalogue address .
; - 191 Eleventh street, Portland, Or.
Osweeo. Oregon. Address N. S. KELLOGii. Os
wego, Or. .
We deal exclusively in Second-Hani) Machin
ery, and have a large assortment of Engines,
Boilers, Pumps and General Machinery. Write
for latest descriDtive catalogue. DANA. ALBEE
100 IV GOLD will be paid bv the Koch
Chemical Co. for anv case of female weakness
that will not yield to DR. J. S. KOCH'S ANTI
box. For sale by all druggists.
1 .
Midwinter Pair,
1894... - .
Fair, Chicago
permanently, on highest auth
as the
Every young man and woman should
have a business education, for money is
lost every day by people who are poor in
figures, cannot keep their accounts straight
nor write a good letter, and who do not
know anything about business papers. ,
Business is beginning to improve, and
young people; so why not prepare yourself
for some of these positions ? If yon do not
work for others, a. business education will
not come amiss, for it is worth all it oosts
for your own use. : No one leads so aimless
a life that he does not have some business
cares.- . -
School opened September 8, and we have
a thorough Commercial Course, Shorthand
Course and two years' English Course. For
catalogue address . , . G. Holmes, . ,
- ' Portland, Or.
.. . UNFAINTKD. .'-..Wi.
Onward, still onward, the staid Willamette
tncroacnecl on old Portland's domain,
For that river, you see, was out on a spree, !
And efforts to check it were vain.
, But after awhile it grew tired of sport, ;
And returned to the old channel home ;
It afterward said : ' " Men paint the town red.
But I knock out paint when I roam."
A souvenir of the Willamette's lapse from so
briety is given free to purchasers of the North
rop & Sturgis Company's Flavoring Extracts.
'' The San Francisco Artificial Limb Co. of
No. 9 Geary street announce that they have
an exhibit of artificial limbs at the North- '
western Interstate Fair at Tacoma, Wash.,
where they are prepared during the contin
uance of said fair to take orders and to ac
commodate those who desire ; do fitting of
limbs there of workto be made in Ban Fran- '
Cisco. Call on or address Menzo Spbihcj,
Massasoit Hotel, Tacoma, Wash. : - ,
Has been in existence for over twelve years, and
has earned an enviable reputation iu Portland
and vicinity. It is located in the Abington
in quarters especially designed for it, and is
equipped with an extensive library and the fin
est Grand Pianos. Send for circular.
Dr. C. E. Geigeb cures Catarrh, Diseases of the
Throat and Lungs, Consumption In the first and
second stages, Bronchitis, all difficult Chronlo
Diseases and all Private Diseases of both sexes.
Medicine by mail or express. Third and Mor
rison, Portland, Or. ,.
Tbt Giemka for breakfast. ; ,
Belect Boa ding School for Girls. Eighteenth
year. Nineteen teachers.
For Illustrated catalogue address . -.
REV. KDW. B. CHUItCH, A. M Principal.
ffo It form ftiMYi mAnriaat Qnn.VM O 1 0(1 l-t
mercial course, Shorthand course and two yeaa'
IT.nirlla'h nnnvoa OnA i1
Portland Business College,
A. . AMMtmmn, Pram. 1. a Wmboo. em.
Open all the year. Students ad
mitted at any time. Instruction in
rahes, shorthand, typewriting, etc. College
JovaNAL and specimens of penmanship sent frtt.
ComnmntlvAi nrl
who have weak lungs or Asth
ma. Should IMA PituVn Pni-a In
(J Consumption. It has cared
m thousands. It has not Injur
ruwut niBuut uau W) I UK 6.
It is the best cough syrup.
Bold everywhere. 5e -
sod i the best Cough and Croup Cure
N. P. N. V. No. 563 S. F. N. 17. No. 640