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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 18, 1894)
Highest of all in Leavening Power.- Latest U. S. Gov't Report ABSOLUTELY PUKE MIRACLE IN MISSOURI THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF MEDICAL SCIENCE FAR MORE WONDER FUL THAN THE MAGIC OF , THE EAST. The Remarkable Experience of Post master Woodson of Panama,' Mo. For Ten Years a Cripple To-day a Well and Hearty Man. From the Kansas City Times. .The people of Rich Hill, Mo., and vicinity have recently been startled by a seeming miracle of healing. For years one of the best known men in Bates and Vernon counties has been Mark M. Woodson, now postmaster at Panama and brother of ex-State Inspector of Mines C. C. Woodson of this city. The people of Eich Hill, where he formerly resided, and of his present home re member well the bent form, misshapen almost from the semblance of man, which has painfully bowed its head half to eai th and labored snail-like across the walks season after season, and when one day last month it straightened to its full height, threw away the heavy butt of cane which for years had been its only support from total helplessness, and walked erect, firmly, unhesitatingly about the two cities, people looked and wondered; The story of the remarkable case has become the marvel of the two counties. Exactly as Mr. Woodson told it to a Times reporter, it is nere puD' lished: : " For ten years I have suffered the torments of the damned and have been a useless invalid ; to-day I am a well and hearty taan, free from almost every touch of pain. I don't think man ever suffered more acute and constant agony than I have since 1884. The rheumatism ' started then in my right knee, and after weeks of suliering in bed 1 was at last relieved sufficiently to arise, but it was only to get about on crutches for five years, the ailment having settled in the joint. Despite constant treatment of tbe most eminent physicians the rheu matism erew worse, and for the last four years I have been compelled to go about bent half toward the ground. In the winter of 1890-91, after the rheumatism had settled into its most chronic form, I ' went to' Kansas City upon advice of my brother, and for six weeks I was treated in one of the largest and best known dispensaries of that city, but without the slightest improvement. Before I came home I secured a strong galvanic battery; this I used for months with the same result. . In August, 1892, I went to St. .Louis, and there con ferred with the widely known Dr. Mudd of hospital practice fame and Dr. Kale of the citv hospital. None of them would take my case with any hope of affordine me more than temporary re lief, and so I came home, weak, doubled with pain, helpless and despondent "About this time my attention was called to the account of a remarkable cure by Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People of locomotor ataxia, rheumatism and paralysis. I ordered some of the pills as an experiment. When I began to take them the rheumatism had de' veloped into a phase of paralysis ; my leg from the thigh down was cold all the time and could not be kept warm. In a short time the pills were gone, and so was the cane. I was able to attend to the duties of my office, to get about as a well and strong man, l was free from pain and I could enjoy a sound and rest ful night's Bleep, something I bad not known for ten years.' To-day am prac tically, and I firmly believe, permanently cured of my terrible and agonizing ail ment. No magician of the far East ever wrought the miracle with his wand that Dr. Williams' Pink Pills did for me." To verify the story beyond all queS' tion of doubt Mr. Woodson made the following affidavit: State of Missouri,) County op Bates, f SB. .. I, M. M. Woodson, being duly sworn on my oath, state that the following statements are true and correct as I :i i i: if -M- wMn.A Subscribed and sworn to before me this 3d day of March, 1894. John D. Moore, Notary Public. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People are manufactured by the Dr, Williams' Medicine Company, Schnec tady, N. Y., and are sold only in boxes bearing the firm's trade mark and wrapper, at 50 cents a box or six boxes for $2.50. Bear in mind that Dr. Will iams' Pink Pills are never sold in bulk or by the dozen or hundred, and any dealer who offers substitutes in this form is trying to defraud you and should be avoided. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills may be had of all druggists or direct by mail from Dr. Williams' Medicine vo. - . Lord Crewe's Collection. Lord Crewe once, on the occasion of gome charitable entertainment, leaned np against a corridor wall, fast asleep, with his hat in his hand. Some wild young men started dropping coppers and half crowns into the hat until the chink ing awakened bim, when, with gay hu mor, he pocketed all the silver and pelt ed his impertinent benefactors with the pence. London Million. SlOO REWARD, SIOO. The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is st least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all Its stages, and that is catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is the only positive euro now known to the med ical fraternity. Catarrh, being a constitutional disease, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature in doing Its work. The proprietors have so much faith In its curative powers that they offer One Hundred Dollars foi any case that it falls to cure. Send for list of testimonials. Ad dress F.J. CHENEY A CO., Toledo, 0. Sold by druggists; 76 tents. Powder NEWSPAPER FARMING. Come, all ye lowly farmers. Come, all ye granger folk. Who in the cultivation Of wheat'have gone dead broke; Since in the rural precincts You cannot find your luck. Come here and learn the secret ' Of making garden truck. - High up above the pygmies Who rush along the street There toils a gifted worker Upon a morning sheet. All night he looks at copy; All night he handles news; All day he sweats his thinker And much of wisdom brews. Ho grieves to think that farmers Should play a losing hand At plowing up the bosom Of unresponsive land, And in his grief he murmurs, , "With crops diversified N The farmer would be in It, With fortune for his bride." So come, ye lowly plowmen, Who thirst for something good. And learn the golden secret. For be it understood That here we have a writer Who deftly does the trick Of making country butter By the paragraph or stick. St. Paul News Believing Snowbound Passengers. "I Was snowbound in Michigan a fen years ago, between Coopersville and Nunica," said a traveling salesman. "The snow was four feet deep on a level and still falling. The passengers had eaten up everything the train boy had, includ ing even mixed candies, and children were crying for food. A grocery sales man offered his samples of tea and cof fee, and these were boiled at the engine. Then I started, accompanied by another passenger, to go to a farmhouse to get some bread and butter. We waded through the snow, and by the time we got there were nearly frozen, but we could detect the odor of cooking victuals and felt that our mission would be suc cessful. "In answer to our knock a woman came to the door and flatly refused to let us have bread at any price. Five large loaves, just baked, were on a ta ble and a jar of butter near it. I told my friend to go to the front door and ar gue with them while I stole the food. This programme was carried out, and 1 started back through the snow with the bread and butter. I had not gone far be fore I could hear the farmer behind swearing at me. Then came a race through the snow. Twice I fell down and soaked the bread in the snow, but I hung on to it and reached the train at the same time the farmer did. There a hundred passengers were ready to help me, and we had one square meal. I had offered $1 a loaf for the bread and start ed to make the promise good, but the passengers insisted that the man should get nothing except the empty butter jar." St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Latter Day Etiquette. Mrs. de Science Hereafter when visitors call you are not to take their cards. You must ask them their names. My husband has discovered 900 different kinds of bacte ria on visiting cards. Servant Yes, ma'am. ' Mrs. de Science And when they mention their names you are particularly to notice If their voices are hoarse. Colds are catch ing. New York Weekly. John H. Bryant, John H. Bryant of Princeton,' 111., is the only surviving brother of William Cullen Bry ant. He was born at Cunningham in 1807, and removed to Illinois in 1831, where he be came justice of . the Peace of Putnam coun ty in 1834. He has been twice a member of the Illinois Legisla' ture, and ' has held John h. brtant. other modest offices. Until his sixtieth vear Mr. .Bryant was an enthusiastic farmer, He has published two volumes of verse, which have won him modest fame as a poet. The centennial of the birth of William Cullen Bryant will be celebrated by a festival of poets in the Berkshire mils of Massachusetts on August Id. which his aged brother will attend, if his health permits. Towels In the Hawaiian Tongue. The Hawaiian language is composed mainly of vowels and a few consonants put in to vary the monotony. And the beauty of the system is that there is no waste. Every vowel is pronounced. For instance, when the American eye winks at the appearance of the simple word "naauao," the glib ' native rolls out the five syllables with neatness and dispatch. This means "enlighten." Double vow els are very frequent, but never a diph thong. Three vowels are not uncom mon, and, as above, four and sometimes more are found unseparated by conso nants. In the mouth of the uneducated native the language is apt to be explo sive, but the higher classes speak it with a fluent grace that surpasses the French or the Italian. In sound it somewhat resembles the general flow of the con tinental European languages, for the vowels all have the French quality, and the accents are not dissimilar. Wash ington Star. . - No Chances. - Featherstone (nervously) Whose over coat is that in the hall, Willie, your father's or your brother's? . ' Willie It isn't my brother's. Sister told him you were coming, and he said he wouldn't trust it tin., j. Clothier and Fur nisher. . A Crank's Fate, ' Friend That old crank Whitehair, who always refused to have a doctor, died last Bight. ' . Dr. Dosem I knew it. I knew it would : happen. I prophesied 40 years ago that be would die some time. New York Weekly, I THE GAME OF WHIST. American and English Systems and the Chances In Holding Hands. There are two recognized systems, the English and the American. In English whist the game is five points and honors ace, king, queen and knave of the trump suit are counted. In American whist the game is still five points, but honors are not counted. The old Eng lish game long whist consisted of 10 points, with honors counted.. Ameri can whist is not the same as American leads. These leads can be played by in dividual players, whatever the game may be. , Richard A. Proctor has written good book on "How to Play Whist" He has also contributed articles to vari ous magazines on the subject of chances in card games.' He calculated that there are no less tnan bao.uia.ooy.ouu ways of making a whist hand, and that there is only one chance in 158,753,889,000 and . then, of course, ' the dealer's trumps must be taken of holding 13 trumps. Out of 1,587,683,899 hands dealt 842,132,219 hands will contain four cards of two suits, three cards of one and two cards of one suit There are 98,534,079,072 ways of making hand that shall contain one five card suit, two three card suits and one two card suit and 82,000,000,000 ways of making a hand containing five cards of one suit, four of another, three of third and two of a fourth. . Fourth in the order of frequency comes the hand con. taining one five card suit, one four card suit and two two card suits. There are 67,182,386,640 ways of making this hand. "Only fifth in order of frequency,' says Proctor, "comes the hand which many suppose the most frequent, that of greatest uniformity of distribution, " one four card suit and three three card suits. There are 66,905,856, 160 ways of mak ing this hand. The sixth hand, in point of frequency, is that which contains six cards of one suit, three of another and two cards from each of two suits. Speak, ing of whist chances, Mr. Proctor dis cusses the "Yarborough hand," which contains no card over a nine. It was so called because Lord Yarborough used to wager 1,000 to 1 that a hand of the sort would not be dealt The chance that such a hand will be dealt is one in 1828 chances, so that his lordship's bet was pretty safe. Baltimore American. Only a Printer. "He is only a printer. " Such was the sneering remark of a leader m a cir cle of aristocracy the codfish quality. Who was the Earl of Stanhope? He was only a printer. What were Prince Edward William and Prince Napoleon? Proud to call themselves printers. The present czar of Russia, the crown prince of Prussia and the Duke of Battenburg are printers, and the emperor of China works in a private printing office almost every day. William Caxton, the father of Eng lish literature, was a practical printer. What were.G. P. Morris, N. P. Willis, James Gale, Charles Richardson, James Parker, Horace Greeley, Charles Dick ens, James Buchanan, Simon Cameron and Schuyler Colfax? Printers, all, and practical ones. Mark Twain, Amos Cummings, Bret Harte and Opie Reid are plain, practical printers, as were Artemus Ward, Petro leum V. Nasby and Sut Lovingood. Senator Plumb was a printer, and so is James S. Hogg of Texas, and the leader of science and philosophy in his day made it his boast that he was a printer. - In fact, thousands of the most bril liant minds in this country are to be fouud toiling in the publishing houses of large cities and towns. It is not every one that can be a printer brains are absolutely necessary. Century. ' ' Not That Mr. Sax. The death of Adolphe Sax, the famous but unlucky instrument maker, recalls an amusing anecdote of Xavier Mar mier, a good natured old Academician, who was constantly being victimized by literary impostors. His housekeeper, who did all she could to guard him from these importunate visitants, informed him one day that a stranger wanted tc see him, on which the following dia logue ensued.; .. - "Who is it?" "Well, he's a newcomer that I'm Bure of, for I've never seen him before. Shall I send him away?" . ' ' "Did he give his name?" , "Yes. A Mr. ; Sax something or other." "Well Annette, I don't want any trombones, but I'll tell him so myself. Show him in. " Accordingly the good Annette reluc tantly ushered in the stranger, who turned out to be no other than the reign ing Duke of Saxe- Weimar. London Globe. - -; Handmade. A Glasgow man during a businesi trip had the misfortune accidentally tc burst one of his shoes. Entering the first shoemaker's shop he saw in order to purchase a new pair, he asked the son of St Crispin if he had any hand sewed shoes in stock. ; "Plenty o' them, " replied the trades man, and after 'taking the customer's aeasure he went into an inner apart ment and soon returned with an armful of footwear. The gentleman selected a pair that fitted him best, and examining them with a critical eye remarked: "You're sure these shoes are hand sewed?" "Look here, my friend," exclaimed the indignant shopman, "ye shairly dinna think that I made thae shoon wi' my feet?" Family Herald, What He Gave Up. Apropos of the fascinations of golf, I heard of a Scotchman, a retired minis ter of the kirk, who was deploring the tendency of the game to become a ruling passion and also to induce bad lan guage. "In fact," he said, "I had to give it up for that reason. " "Give up golf?' ' exclaimed his friend. ' ' No, "said his reverence, "the ministry. " Lon- Artrt TSmrTii . INTERESTING TO LADIES. It has been generally remarked that no class of articles at the Midwinter Ex position received more attention than the various indespensible, and to the masculine mind, mysterious adjuncts to the toilettes of our fair ladies. Manu facturers from every part of the globe were represented, and the poducts of America, France, England and Germany competed for the honor of the first award at the great Exposition. The points of competition were : freedom from air injurious or deleteious sub stances, efficiency in producing the de sired results expected in a preservative of the complexion, chemical skill in pre paring and compounding, and finally, elegance of appearance and general style. Upon all these points " Camelline " was awarded highest position, and received the unusual distinction of a special honorary diploma of merit, a result not only eminently gratifying to the manu facturers, Messrs. Wakelee & Co., the manufacturing chemists of San Fran cisco, but an indorsement of the good judgment of the ladies of the Pacific Coast, who, long ago, pronounced in favor of the superior excellence of " Camelline," which may be obtained at any drug store on the Pacific CoaBt. Patient I wish to consult you in regard to my utter loss of memory. Doctor Ah yes why er in this class of cases I always require my fee in advance. BRACE THE NERVES. Sedailves and opiates won't do It. These ner vines do not make the nerves strong, and failing to do this, fall short of producing the essential of their quietude vigor. And while in extreme cases and these only of nervous Irritation such drugs may be advisable, their frequent use is mgniy prejuaiciai to tne aeiicate organism upon which they act, and in o:der to renew their quieting effect increased and dangerous doses eventually become, necessary. .Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is an efficient substitute for such pernicious drugs. It quiets the nerves by bracing, toning, strengthening them. The con nection btween weakness of the nervous sys tem and that of tbe oigans of digestion Is a strong and sympathetic link. The Bitters by imparting a healthful Impulse to the digest ve and as-imilating functions promotes through out the whole system a vigor In which the nerves come in for a large share. Use the Bitters in malaria, constipation, DUlous and kidney trouDie. Teacher How many eggs does it take to make a dozen f Mamie (whose father keep a grocery) Six good ones, four doubtful ones and two bad ones. . THE NURSE'S DELIGHT, ' : Every experienced nurse knows the value of a remedy which, without being an ano dyne, will relieve soreness of the limbs or stiffness of the joints and enable a patient to sleep quietly and naturally. Just such a remedy are Allcock's Poe- ous Blasters. Jflaced on the chest or on the back, if necessary out into strips and placed over the muscles of the limbs, they work marvels in the way of soothing and quieting restlessness. Being perfectly sim ple and harmless in their composition, they can be used freely, and many a sufferer has thanked them for a night of quiet rest, grateful both to him and those who care lor him. Brandeeth's Pills do not weaken the bowels. . Teacher Give me another proof that the eartn is round, irltz Kound-trlp tickets. Use Enamellne Stove Polish; no dust no smell, Tey Gkbmia for breakfast. MADE LIFE A BURDEN. Miss G. F. Crawford, of Limestone, Me., Writes: "For years I suffered monthly from times were so acute as to render life a burden. I began using Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. I used seven bottles in as many months and de rived so much benefit from it and the home treatment recommend ed in his Treatise on Diseases of Women, that I wish every woman throughout our land, suffering in the same way, may be induced to give your medicines and treatment a fair trial." it nv.j.A r : Miss Crawford. tion is a powerful, in vigorating tonic and a soothing and strength ening nervine, purely vegetable, perfectly harmless. It regulates and promotes all the roper functions of womanhood, improves igestion, enriches the blood, dispels aches and pains, brings refreshing sleep, and re stores health and vigor. For every "female complaint," it is the only remedy so sure that it can be tmaranteed. If it doesn't cure, you have your money back. , naamia is depleted blood. The blood lacks richness and the cheeks lack color. The whole sys tem lacks the nourishment Scott's Emulsion the Cream of Cod-liver Oil. This nourishing, palatable food restores a healthy color, enriches the blood and tones up the whole system. Phy sicians, the world Over, en dorse it. Don't be deceived by Substitutes! Prepared by Scott t Bourne, N. Y. All druggists. ' -ELY'S CREAM BALM-Cleanaeo the Nasal Passages, Allays Pain and Inflammation, Heals im oores, restores Taste IV w Gives Relief at once Apply into tht NottHlt. IC Druggists or by mail. ELY "DON'T BORROW MALARIA I Three dose only. Try it. Impure Blood Manifests itself in hot weather in hire, pimples, boils and other eruptions which disfigure the face and cause great annoy ance. . The cure is found in Hood's Bars. Hood's Sarsa- parilla parilla which makes the blood pure and re Cures moves all suck disfigurations. WWVWV It also gives strength, creates an appetite and invigorates to whole system. Get Hood's. Mood's Pills are prompt and efficient. Anairreeable Laxative and NKRVR TONTf!. Bold by Druggists or sent by mail. 26c.. 60c, and $1.00 per package. Samples free. XTtf YIf The Favorite TOOTH POWDSB liV XI. V for the Teeth and Breath, goo. ST. HELEN'S Boarding and day school for girls. opens September Address : MISSES RODNEY, Portland, Or. : 1 : 1 W.L. Douglas C4 CUnt IS THE BEST. ftjPO WflvLNOSaUEAKINO, 95. CORDOVAN. FRENCH& ENAMELLED CAU 4 FINE CALf &KAN6AR0a $3.spP0LICE,3 Soles. 2.I. BOY&CHOOLSHOEa - LADIES SEND FOR CATALOGUE BROCKTON, MASS Ton can save money by wearing the W. L. Douglas 83. OO Shoe. Because, we are th largest manufacturers of this grade of shoes In the world, and guarantee their Talue by Btampfug the name and price on the bottom, which protect you against high prices and the middleman's profits. Our shoes equal custom work In style, easy fitting and wearing qualities. We have them sold everywhere at lower prices for the value given than any other make. Take no sub stitute. If your dealer cannot supply you, we can. CALKINS ELECTRIC OIL BURNER THE CREAT FUEL SAVER. HOME-MADE GAS PERFECTED AT last. No dirt, no ashes, no odor, no dancer. A perfect method of generating and burning ga irom petroleum on. r or neating ana cooking. Fits any stove: also adapted for furnaces, steam heaters and grates. Absolutely tafe. No possi bility of explosion and cheaper than any other tuei. tu ana examine tne latest invention. Agents wanted In every town and county in California, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. rur circulars uuuiubs CALKINS' ELECTRIC BURNER COMPANY, Pacific Coast Agency, 622 Larkln Street, San Franolseo. ENGRAVING! ! PRINTERS SHOULD KNOW that the oldest ana oesi .Photo-en grav ing office in Sun Fran cisco was established in 1877 by the Manager of the DKWEY EN GRAVING CO., who ha secured tbe latest ana best improve ments.Becret processes and a full complement of the most approved machinery, photo ap paratus, powerful elec tric lights., etc. Having S. F.-Mechanic IwtituU Medal, iong experience and superior artists, this pioneer uo. turns out me mgnvab cmss 01 worK promptly, reliably and at uniformly moderate prices for all kinds of engraving. Publishers helped to get up special Issues. Job printers and others iuouia sena ior samples, esiimuiesuna lniormauon. A.T. .dkwby Manager, Ztfu Market t., . Oal. DROPSY THFATKn TTlfVTT PosltlT ly Cured with Vegetable Remedial Have cured thousands of iuum finm nw,. aounced hopeless by best physicians. From ttrstdoM lymptoms disappear ; in ten day atleast two-thlrdi U symptoms removed. Send for free bonk testimn. atals of miraculous cures. Ten Jays' treatment free by mall. If you erder trial, send 10c. tn stamps urpay postage. J J it. M.M.UHISN HONK, AllaHtA.li II you oraertriai return uils advertisement to ns. UUUJliJN WJST 1 Has no superior. ! IT'S A BAKING POWDER, 9 ana Smell, and Cures for f!ll in Hul. It U Qnicklp Absorbed. BROS.. 68 Warren St.. N. T. TROUBLE." BUY 'A HALL. Lit-il IV. I7SS3S3 'TIS CHEAPER IN THE END. DO YOU FEEL BAD? DOES YOUK BACK ache ? Does every step seem a burden ? You need MOORE'S REVEALED REMEDY. 29f YOU TRAVEL 7 IF SO, YOU WILL FIND THE BIG FOUR ROUTE THE BEST LINE EAST. VESTIBULE TRAINS. ELEGANT DINING CARS. QUICK TIME. Ask for Tickets via i Big Four Route. e. d. Mccormick, o. b. martin. Pass. Traffic Manager. Gen Pass. & Tkt. Agt. CINCINNATI. btdi I it DDCccnucn t LABOR SAVED ! Antifermentine WITHOUT HEAT. Antifermentine ' PRESERVES , Cider. Milk, Butter. Catsup, Pickles, Etc., And does It SUCCESSFULLY by preventing fer mentation. The use of this wonderful preserv ative assures success in canning and preservinir fruits and vegetables of all kinds. NO MOULD on top of fruit. Saves time and labor, and Is in every way a decided success. ANTIFERMENTINE Is sold by all drugeists and grocers, and is guar anteed to do what we say it will. 8NELI,, HEITSHU & WOODABD, . Portland, Or. HERCULES Engines GAS and GASOLINE NOTED FOR SIMPLICITY, . STRENGTH, ECONOMY -AND- SUPERIOR WORKMANSHIP In Every Detail. - These engines are acknowledged by expert en gineers to be worthy of highest oommendation for simplicity, high-grade material and superior workmanship. They develop the full actual horse power, and run without.an Electric Spark Battery; the system of ignition is simple, inex pensive and reliable. . For pumping outfits for irrigating purposes no better engine can be found on the Paclne Coast. , For hoisting outfits for 'mines thev hv mat with highest approval. For intermittent power their eoonomy Is un questioned. TMRINC MANUFACTURED BY PALMER & REY TYPE FOUNDRY, - Cor. Front and Alder St., . PORTLAND, - ORECON. Send for catalogue. pn Dr. Williams' Indian Pile I L IS Ointment will cure Blind, IT w Bleeding and Itching Piles. I It absorbs the tumors, allays H the itching at once, acts as a poul- tice, gives instant relief. Dr. Will lams' Indian Pile Ointment is prepared for Piles and Itchine of the nrivatn parts. Every box is warranted. By drug- fristK. hv TTlRll AH repaint, nf tt4a fn rnt and fi.oo Williams manufacturing co Proprietors, Cleveland, Ohio. 1. P. N. TJ. No. 657 S. F. N. U. No. 6S4 n S3 ConanmntlTea and nnnrilA who have weak lungs or Asth- Consumption. It has cared a thousands. It has not injur- , 9 ttii cinn. It. la nnt. hsH n i. A It is the best cough syrup. boiq everywhere. &c if3