- . ....
The
Hood River Glacier.
, ' : ; :'. , ' ' It's a Cold Day When We Get Left. .
VOL. 5. ' HOOD RIVER, OREGON, SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 24, 1891. ' , NO. 39.
i -
r- . '. .
3(ood Iiver (Slacier.
PCBLISUKD EVERT SATUBDAT MORNIKO BT
The Glacier Publishing Company.
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE.
On. year It Of
Mx months 1 W
ti....: ...... kj
Miviiwia. ....... .,, "
8ii)jla cop ; Cent
THE GLACIER
Barber Shop
Grant Evans, Propr.
Second St., near Ouk. Hood River, Or.
Sliaving nnd Hair-cutting neatly done.
Satisfaction Guaranteed. '
LATE NEWS.
. 1 Alining is booming all over New Mex
ico. - Lightning-rod swindlers are getting on
; pretty well among Oregon farmers.
The combined American and British
sealers on this Coast wili hardly number
a dozen this reason.
Governor Mdfraw, it seems, has in
curred the criticism of Governor MeCon-
nell because of apparent indifference to
the irrigation congress.
Seattle and Townsend are quarrying
about harbor facilities with ulterior de
signs on i lie sealing patrol fleet. .Their
patronage is in great favor. ' .
vThe street-car systi m of Sacramento
has changed hands. The new owners
propose to run the elei trie cars with the
water power generated at Folsom.
. The Indians are on the war path in
the Bunker 1 1 1 1 mining district in Ari
zona. Four Indians attacked a pros
pernor named Clark,, who escaped to
Mammoth and gave the alarm.
Thompson Campbell of Butte, Mont.,
has live sapphires taken from the giz-zard-oi
a Montana turkey. The sap
phires are all ot good size, ana one ot
them weighs about two karats. :
There is a general belief that the many
stoi ies told about Evans and Morel are
' inventions. I he pubho outside ot the
neighborhood where the two outlaws re-
" reive sympathy are becoming incredu
lous. At a recent meeting of the Directors
of ihe Midwinter Fair Association at
Portland it was decided to abandon the
attempt to make an exhibit at the fair
in progress in Han Francisco. The rea
son lor this is that sufficient interest has
not been manifested in the matter by
Orgonians generally. Portland has sub
scribed very handsomely with a laud
able desire of assisting the State in
making a creditable display, but the
country towns have subscribed such
smal I amounts that Portland has con
tributed more than 90 per cent of the
sum raised. In view of this state of af
fairs and discouraging reports received
as to the probable success of the fair the
.Directors appointed a committee to wind
up the affairs of the corporation anddis
tiibuto the funds.
The San Francisco Chronicle prints a
long article exposing the methods by
which the Chinese may evade the exclu-
' sion law through a- system of Jalse cer
tificates of registration. It states the
Chinese are systematically stuffing the
registration books opened under the Mc
Creary act. The law provides no pen
alty lor the punishment of those who
' reg'isier twice, and on account of thd
great similarity of Chinese in features
and names many are able by going to
different places A registration to secure
from two to a dozen certificates of regis
tration. . These, it is claimed, will soon
have a maiketable value of from $50 to
$100, and will find a ready.sale among
the Mongolians smuggled into the coun
try. The Chronicle declares the Chinese
have no trouble at all in securing many
bogus certificates.
. Oregon's mammoth cave will soon be
explored and rendeied accessible to the
public. A company has been incorpor
ated at San Francisco for the purpose of
developing what bids fair to be one of
Ihe greatest natural attractions on the
Pacific Coast. For years rumors have
reached civilization that way back in the
mountains of Josephine county, Or., in
1 the wildest part of the Cascade Range
was a cave in which one might wander
for months without finding an end.
These reports came from hunters and
' trappers, who occasionally visited that
wild region in search of game, and but
little credence was given them. Nothing
of anv certainty was known concerning
the cave until lour years ago, when W.
R. Hearst of the San Francisco Fxam
iner sent a reporter, Charles Michelson.
: and a photographer to explore its
depths. The cave is about seventy-five
miles from Grant's Pass, and in order to
reach it they were compelled to go by
etage ai out fifty, miles and the
lemainderof the distance with a pack
' train. From reports given the public
by the Examiner party the cave is larger
and excels in beauty the great Mam
moth cave of Kentucky. The other day
John 0. Quinn, Thomas T. Williams,
.lames L. Gittings and Samuel W.
Backus of San Francisco, Thomas H.
Morton and A J. Henderson of Kerby-
ville, Or., and Alphonzo B. Smith of
Grant's Pass filed anicles of incorpora
tion of the Oregon Cave Improvement.
Company. The capital stock is $500,000.
of which 17,000 lias been subscribed.
The avowed purpose is to buy and im
prove the great Oregon cave, build ho
tele, roads, parks and do a lumbering
and mining business. ''
FROM WASHINGTON CITY.
The plan of inspecting immigrants at
foreign ports before embarkation for this
country provided in the bill of Stone of
Pennsylvania has been approved by the
House Itommittee on Judiciary.
The report upon the Hoi man resolu
tion for the investigation of the system
of premiums to builders of naval vessels
for extra speed, which approves of the
system, has been adopted by the House
IN aval Committee.
The House Naval Affairs Committee
has ordered a favorable report on the
resolution expressing pleasure and satis
faction at the prompt action of Admiral
Benham in protesting American com
merce at Rio'de Janeiro.
A deficiency appropriation of $400,000
tor the expenses of the U nited states
Courts, which has been' asked by the
Attorney-General, is . being considered
by the House Appropriations Oommit
mittee, and will probably be granted. '
In the House Ellis of Oregon asked
unanimous consent for the consideration
of the Senate bill to extend the time al
lowed the Umatilla Irrigation Company
for the completion of its ranal across
the Umatilla Indian reservation in Ore
gon. The bill passed.
The War Department this year has re
ports of the militia from the Adjutant
Generals of every State in the Union.
The reports show 0,270 commissioned of
ficers, 102.012 enlisted men in the Na
tional Guard and about 9,000,000 men in
the unorganized militia.
The Senate Committee on Foreign Re
lations has decided to report in favor of
the ratification of the treaty with Gre.it
Britain for the extension of the treaty
for completing the survey between Alaska
and Northwest Territory, which was sent
to the senate Monday by the f resident.
In the session of the Public Lands
Committee adverse reports were ren
dered on the bills for a survev of lands
granted to the Willamette Valley and
Cascade Wagon Road Company in Ore
gon ; to prevent the consolidation of land
offices in Colorado, and to dispose of
several abandoned military reservations.
Senator Allen has introduced a bill re
pealing all laws enacted relating to the
coinage or use of silver since January 1,
1873, and re-enacting all laws Telating to
silver and in force previous to that by
authorizing and directing the issue of
United States legal-tender notes and to
prohibit the further use of United States
interest-bearing bonds.
Senator Pettigrew has introduced an
amendment, intended to be offered by
him to the Wilson tariff bill, providing
for the appointment of a commission of
five persons to be known as the Customs
Commission. The duty of the proposed
commission is to gather data concerning
tariff rates and their effect on industries
in this and other countries and to report
its findings to Congress.
Special Agent Maher of the Treasury
Department was before the Appropria
tions Committee, and explained the re
quest of the Secretary of the Treasury
for if450,000 to enforce the Chinese ex
clusion act. This item has nothing to
do with the Geary act, but is to furnish
means to carry out the law ot May 5,
1892, by policing the border and ship
ping home Chinamen caught attempting
to enter the United States unlawfully.
The Court of Appeals of the District
of Columbia has reversed the decision of
Judge Bradley iu the Palmetto trade
mark liquor case, and Commissioner pf
Patents Seymour has scored a point
against Governor Tillman of South Car
olina. The Commissioner refused to reg
ister the trade mark sought by Governor
Tillman for ttie brand sold by the State
Judge Bradley granted a mandamus to
compel the registry. The Commissioner
appealed, and the'Court of Appeals ro-
verseu juuge urauiey s uecision.
There are not enough men enlisted in
the navy to properly man the United
States ships which go into commission
before May 1; and, moreover, the limit
allowed by law will not permit the en
listment ot a sufficient number, me
big cruisers Columbia and Olympia,
Marblehead and Montgomery, Atlanta
and Boston, Raleigh, Cincinnati, Alert
and Marion are all to be manned, re
quiring about 1,500 men. About half
that number is available. Additional
authority will be required from Congress
to enlist sufficient men, and secretary
Herbert will probably lay the matter
before that body.
Representative Abbott of Texas has
introduced a bill for the coinage of silver
in the Treasury on a new plan. The
Secretary is to coin into standard silver
dollars or minor coins not less than
2.UOU,000 ounces a month of the silver
purchased under the Sherman act. Ihe
coin certificates issued under that act
are to be redeemed in either gold or sil
ver, according to which metal is held in
the largest quantities in the Treasury,
and the Secretary is to issue coin notes
to the amount of the seigniorage of the
Sherman act upon the plan apparently
devised to place gold and eilver on equal
looting.
Responding to' a resolution which
passed the Senate, the Secretary of the
Treasury has sent to the Senate a state
ment showing the names of bond sub
scribers offering 117.223, whose subscrip
tions were accepted, together with the
amount subscribed for and the amount
allotted at that price. The statement
also gives the list of those offering to
purchase at a higher price and the list
of those not considered for various rea
sons. Among the allotments on the
117.223 bids are the following: Hanover
National Bank, New York, 11,420,050;
Kuhn Loeb & Co., New York. 1,420,-
050; United States Trust Company, New
York, $2,330,700; f armers' Loan and
Trust Company, New York, $1,893,400;
Union Trust Company, New York, i2,-
306,70n: New York Life Insurance Com
pany. N ;w York. S 2.840,050. The above
allotments were the result of scaling the
original bids to the extent of 5.331 per
cent or the amount. In the aggregate
this class.iB $40,704,700. All bids at fig
ures over the 117.223 amount in the ag
gregate to $60,295,800.
THE MIDWINTER EXPOSITION."
Nearly 200000 people have passed the
turnstiles of the California Midwinter
Exposition during the first two weeks
of its existence. This fact establishes
the sure success of the Exposition from
the standpoint of attendance, and tho
verdict of the thousands who make up
this grand total has been unanim & in
favor of the success of the Exposition
from every point of view.,.
Since the opening day, Jan. 27, no
special effort has been made to draw the
crowds. It has been the aim of "the Ex
position management to let the many
features of the Exposition speak for
themselves, and exclamations of sur
prise and satisfaction have been heard
on every hand. -The exhibits are now'
practically all in position. There are no
holes in the floor, so to speak, and it is
noticeable by those who visited the
great Columbian -Exposition that even
ihe exhibits which were seen there ap
pear to have taken on new form here ia
San Francisco, and the exhibitors havo
undoubtedly profited by the experience
gained on the shore of Lake Michigan.
The largest spaces in the center of the
great floor of the Manufactures and
Liberal Arts building ere occupied by
Franco, Germany, Russia and Italy.
Each of, these countries is represented
by a display of artistic and useful man
ufactures which has never before been
seen outside of the great Columbian Ex
position, and in most instances tho dis
plays brought from there have been
augmented by new supplies brought
across the Atlantic and across tho conti
nent especially for this display. - ?
But in the midst of ail this that is
not new to everybody, there is so much
in the Midwinter Exposition that is uni
versally unique aad novel that there is
nothing, of the "old story" about it.
The American section is particularly
proUfic in novelty, and it occupies tho
largest space assigned to any one coun
try, so that the international character
of the Exposition by no means shuts out
the glorification of home industries in
this beautiful industrial fair.
The Palace of Fine Arts has already
proved to be a revelation. Such a dis
play of pictures has never before been'
seen.in this part of the world. This de
partment did not depend on Chicago for
its pictures, though it got a great many
of the best that were shown there. On
the walls of this building are hung later
pictures by well-knowii American,
French and German artists, and promi
nent among them are something like a
hundred of the works of the best artists
of the Pucific Coast. Connoisseurs say
that the Midwmtor Art Palace is tw
best arranged picture gallery that the
world has ever seen,, and it certainly i3
well adapted for the purposo to which it
is put. , ''V
In the eyes of Eastorn visitors the cit
rus display naturally attracts the most
attention. It seems to be good for East
ern eyes to encounter a pear as big as a
baby's head and peaches almost as large,
to say nothing of so many oranges in
heaps and piles and buildings that thers
is a great gleam of yellow before them
nil thft xvViiA. TVtn rtvfT.lrv Ka:waati t.Via
Northern and the Southern Citrus Fairs,
both of which are held in the Exposi
tion grounds, has teen happily produc
tive of the best displays in this line that
have ever been made, even in Califor
nia. The Northern Citrus Fair awarded
its premiums during the past week.
The Southern Citrus Fair does not open
until Feb. 20. The buildings devoted to
this class of displays are proving quite
as popular as some of the main Exposi
tion buildings,' and California citrus
fruits are getting the best advertise
ment they have ever had.
One feature of the Exposition which
has emphasized itself since the opening
day is the excellence of the electric illu
minations. " The system of arc lighting
is as complete as anyone could wish, and
the incandescent system is well calcu
lated to arouse the enthusiasm of the
most latent soul. In these beautiful'
midwinter evenings, whether the moon
shines or not, the entire Exposition
grounds are 03 light as day. Long lines
of incandescent lights stretch the entire
length of each of the main iui d nji and
outline all their architectural points.
The dome of th3 Administration build
ing is -outlined against the deep
blue sky, the straight lines of the
Mechanio Arts building are . clear
cut ;, against ' the background of
the night, the classio outlines of the
Fine Arts palace enhance the effect that
structure always has, and the peculiarly
effective architecture of the great palace
of Manufacturers and Liberal Arts
seems never to be soen at better advant
age than when its thousands of incan
descent electric lights are lightoi.
The Horticulture and Agriculture
building, however, is the one that seems
to attract most attention in this partic
ular. This is perhaps due to the fact
that its lines contain more curves and
more architectural eccentricities than
any other, but it is undoubtedly due in
a larger degree to the ijreat flood, of licht
whicn pours througa the big glass
dome that surmounts the building. Vis
itors seem at a loss to decide whether
the prettiar picture is presented by day,
when the deep green of California's mid
winter foliage lends its aid, or at night
when artificial light plays so prominent
a part. All are agreed, however, that
the California Midwinter International
Exposition is the prettiest World's Fair
that has ever been held upon God's foot
stool, and the concessionaires, many of
whom have staked their all to cross the
continent and share the success of this
kidusjfiaj venture, ajid who smt b cog-
ceded to be good judges of the promise
of such an exposition, are united in the
opinion that this fair will be an immense
success, and that that success will be
readily recognized without cavil and
without the local jealousies that have
too often surrounded similar enterprises.
FOREIGN FLASHES.
More than 2,700 Jews have started
from Odessa on their way to England. .
The Italian bank circulation will be
increased by the issue of 125,000,000 lire.
The French navy is to be strengthened
by the addition of 101 swift torpedo
boats. .. ,
France voluntarily pays $80,000 in
demnity to Italy for the Aignes Mortes
massacre. ; .- .
' Hon. Joseph Chamberlain denies any
knowledge of a Unionist scheme for
home rule.
The number of books published in
England last year was 6,382, says the
lxndou .telegraph.
France is uneasy over the political
significance of Bismarck's reconciliation
with the German JLtnperor.
The Pope is said to be preparing to
issue an encvclical on Uathouc Poles in
a tone conciliatory to Russia.
The Austrian Cabinet has decided to
introduce in the Reichf-rath a bill in
creasing the tax on corn flour to 7 francs.
Fewer German emigants left the port
of Hamburg, the great point of embar
kation, last year than in any year since
1870. I ,.
The tax of 10 francs a year on cycles,
which was imposed in France last April,
yielded in the nrst Halt year over 780,
00:1 francs. - ;
The French authorities of Corsica
have forbidden lingh.-h and German
doctors to practice their profession in
that island.
The Appeal. Court in Dublin has
granted to Michael Davitt a certificate
in bankruptcy, thus rendering him again
eligible to sit in Jfariiament.
Only five out of the thirty-three mem
bers of the new Standing Committee on
Customs Duties in the French Chamber
of Deputies are not protectionists.
For the first time in her known his
tory the city of London has fallen be
hind the rest of England and Wales in
the rate of population for a decade.
Henceforth all Russian emigrants en
tering Germany en route for the United
States must be healthy, and if over 10
years ot age, be possessed ot 400 marks
in cash. . 1
The fortune of Cecil Rhodes, Premier
of Cape Colony in Africa, is set at some
where from $60,000,000 to $75,000,000
alt made in the diamond mines of that
country.
The French Senate by a vote of 132 to
84 agreed to give votes to women en
gaged in business at elections for tribu
nals of commerce. This is the begin
ning of woman's suffrage in France. '
Orders for 250 locomotives and several
thousand railway carriages have been
given by the Russian government to
Austrian and Belgian firms, presumably
required for the Transiberian railway.
There was a decrease of 7,000,000 lire
in the Italian customs receipts during
last month, while the revenue from in
direct taxation t-hows a total falling off
of 1,000,000 lire in the last six months.
Even Bulgaria, with her 100 or less
miles of coast line on a small inland sea,
has caught the naval fever, and the gov
ernment has just voted a sum equal to
about $5,000,000 for the establishment of
a navy. '
ihe political leaders in the Basque
provinces of Spain will send to Mr. Glad
stone a gold-mounted casket containing
an address and a sprig from the historic
oak of Guernica, the symbol of Basque
liberty.
A government decree has been issued
at Madrid abolishing the obligation of a
special passport for entry to tlie Phillip-
pine Islands, which for centuries has ir
ritated foreign visitors and closed the
archipelago.
Attention was called in the House of
Commons the other day to the .injustice
of maintaining the Church of England
establishment in India by taxation raised
almost entirely from persons of the Mos
lem and Hindoo faith. .
A "commerjial museum" is about to
be established at Tangier, Morocco, in
which manufacturers and merchants
from all countries may exhibit samples
of those of their wares which they think
best adapted, to the Moorish market.
Women typewriters, who have hith
erto been employed in the government
offices in London as supernumeraries,
are according to a decision of ihe treas
ury Department hencelorth to be incor
porated into the regular civil service.
Three clergymen of the Church of
England went over to the Church of
Rome in the course of one week of last
month. Fourteen English clergymen
have thus changed their church since
the judgment in the noted Lincoln case.
Though Jules Verne's works of scien
tific fiction have sold by the hundreds of
thousands and returned millions of
francs to the publishers, they have
earned for their author only $4,000 a
S'eai not even enough for him to buy
the house he rents at Amiens.
A resolution in favor of birching bad
hoys instead of sending them to prison
has been sent to the British Home Sec
retary, signed by a number of Magis
trates. The proposition is to birch boys
under 16 for all offenses at the discretion
of the Magistrate. '
The Governor of Sierra Leone tele
graphs confirmation of the report of an
other engagement between French and
British forces on the frontier of Sierra
Leone, and says several weie killed on
both sides, and that the French attacked
the British, whose force consisted en
tirely of natives. Touching on the af
fair, the Pall Mall Gazette says: " We
cannot have these things happen weekly.
io time should be lost in settling the
affair with France."
EASTERN PARAGRAPHS.
Iowa legislators cannot agree on a liq
uor bill.
A bill designed to put a stop to "treat
ing naa ueen mirouuceu in uie luassa
chusetts Legislature.
The insane law of Minnesota has been
declared unconstitutional, and 470 in
mates have a right to new trials. .
The Montreal Hebrews are organizing
a society for the purpose of assisting des
titute Jews and bringing others to Can
ada.
Sackett, the silhouette artist, who
eloped with an Jilkhart (Ind.) heiress,
has been arrested at Topeka. The girl
nas been returned to her home. .
The Woman's Home Missionary Soci
ety of the Philadelphia Conference has
memorialized (Jongress against ihe ad
mission of Utah as a State.
The State of Mississippi is proposing
to discontinue tho penitentiary lease
system and to establish a farm on which
its convicts will bo employed. : '
Tree-planting on the streets at Or
lando, Fla., is encouraged by a bounty
oi ou cents tor eacn tree in good condi
tion after one year of growth. .. v
The hard times have induced the pre'
sentation of a bill in the Massachusetts
Senate to prevent attachment of grave
yard lots and tombstones tor debt.
A bill has been introduced in the Mas
sachusetts Legislature to empower cities
and towns to make and distribute elec
tricity for light, heat and motive power.
The Connecticut Board of Health will
vigorously prosecute irregular medical
practitioners, disregarding any injunc
tions which may be obtained by the lat
ter. -1
Senator Gray has announced a bill to
enable purchasers at judicial sales of
railroads organized under the laws of the
United btates to organize new corpora'
tions. - -V '
The Committee on Harbors and Rivers
will give an appropriation to improve
San Pedro and Port Harford, but not as
much as. the Secretary of War recoup
mended.
The joint committee of the Massac.hU'
setts Legislature has given woman suf
frage a black eye by reporting adversely
on the proposition to grant municipal
8Uitrage to the ladies. . 1
The Legislature of Kentucky has had
before it for some time a bill providing
for the compulsory education of the
youth of the State, but the bill is not
likely to become a law.
A Chicago dispatch to the Philadel
phia Times savs: Prophecies of ruin in
the World's Fair district of the ritv to
follow the departure of the great show
have not been tuluiied. . . -..
A dispatch from Ottawa. Ont.. states
that there is a large amount of distress
in that city, and the City Engineer's of
fice is besieged every morning by men
who hope to get a job at stone-breaking.
A company of Canadian capitalists
are going to stretch a cable from below
the Niagara Falls to Table Rock on the
Canadian side on the plan of the Ferris
wheel, it is proposed to run cars across
every twenty minutes. v .: "
Secretary Carlisle has called for the
resignation of H. H. Lawrence, assaver
of the mint at San Francisco; P. B. El
lis, assaver of the mint a.t Cursnn (;ihr
and E. B. Zabriskie, melter and refiner
of th mint at Carson City, Nev.
With the money from the sale of bonds
the Treasury Department is pavingsome
of its deferred obligations. Sugar boun
ties to the amount ot 11.D00,U00 have
been awaiting payment for some time.
They are now being paid at the rate of
fioo.uoo a day. -
A gambling resort, frequented only bv
women, was raided in New York city the
other day. Many fashionably dressed
women were present and became panic
stricken when the officers appeared, and
several attempted to escape by jumping
out of windows. They were allowed to
depart unmolested.'
The-bill by Terry, making railroad
corporations citizens of States in which
their lines may be for legal purposes, re
ceived a favorable vote in committee.
Under the existing laws according to re
cent decisions of the Supreme Court the
habitation ot a railroad is in the State
where its principal office is located.
The House Judiciary Committee has
referred back to the subcommittee Mc
Cann'g resolution calling for an investi
gation of Judge Jenkins' action in en
joining the Northern Pacific employes
irom stnicing. xne subcommittee is in
structed to inquire whether there are
any charges that Jenkins was influenced
by corrupt motives. :
Collis P. Huntington was before the
Senate Committee on Railioadsthe other
day, giving the committee information
about the Pacific railroads. C. P. Hun
tington made a suggestion to the com
mittee in the shape of a bill looking to
the reorganization of the Central Pacific
system. His nroposilion is the comnnnv
shall give ft mortgage to the government
covering all its property, in considera
tion of which it may issue U34.000000
2 per cent bonds, to run 125 years, to
he applied nrst to the replacement ol
the mortgage bonds of the Central Pa
cific and California and Western Pacific
railroad, amounting to $27,853,000; also
to the redemption of bonds issued on
account of the California and Oregon
railroad, amounting to $30,000,000. The
bill contains numerous provisions look
ing to the protection of the government
interest in the road. C. P. Huntington
after his argument before the Railroads
Committee of the Senate in favor of the
extension of the Central Pacific indebt
edness by issuing bonds payable in 125
years, bearing interest at 24 per cent,
was asked by a newspaper correspond
ent if he would state in writing over his
own signature just what his proposition
was. tin replied sententionsly and per
haps a little bit facetiously: "It. is a
proposition to use the credit of the
United States, none of its money, and
pay off the indebtedness. That is all I
can say sew."
THE IRISH WIDOW.
Mrs. Maeoosin Tnt on Her Creen Shawl
and Goes to the Opera.
"Thim op'ry singers gives me a pain, Mrs.
McGlaggerty."
"How is that, Mrs. Magooginf"
"They nuver lurn nawtbin at all, at all."
' i "Is that so, rlow, Mrs. Magoogin?"
"Yis; id is, Mrs. McGlaggerty," said the
widow, with a spiteful sort of emphasis on
the "yis" and the "is." "They comes over
here ivery year," she continued, "an sings
them sangs and rukes in our mooney, nn -livil
shkure th' wan wurrud av our lan
pewage they larns to spake, Mrs. McGlag
Iterty. Wan cud ushkuze tliim fur not be
ing able to shpake anny but Oitalyun th'
i.isht toime they kem over ov th suchond,
but mebbe but they've bin comiu year in
on year out, an, begorry, they talks th'dago
yet an, won't condayscind to Jabber any
thin but Friuch.
"Be all that's good and howy,Oi'll nuver
go to see thim again until they Inives their
garibaldis an polly voos beholnd an comes
down to talkin rale sinsible Yoo No i ted
Shtates that's good enoof fur anybody, Mrs. .'
McGlaggerty. Oi wint to hear thim the
other noigbt wid me daughter Toozy. She
hurd that her futball play'r was in town
takin another gerrul to th' op'ry, an begor- -ry
nawthln id do her but she moost go and
make me spind rue foinefoor dollars to take
her up in th' balcony th' way she kud shtab
his ribs, as my b'y Tammy say fwbin he
manes poipin a body off keepln an oye an
him, as id war, Mrs. McGlaggerty. Loike
th' dauged fool Oi was, Oi put an me green
shawl an 1813 Impoire theayther bonnit
an wint wud her. .
"There was two opries 'Plinlimmin an
Balky' an 'Cabby Leary's Roosty Annie'
and belaive or belaive me not, Mrs. Mc
Glaggerty, but Oi kudn't undershtaud a
single wurrud in aytlier wan uv thim. Oi -thought
th' Plinlimmin was Joe Immett's
big Foundnewland dog an that Balky was ,
somebody else's dog, but divil th' mut was
on id at all, and I was railly disappointed.
There was nawthin butstngin in th' op'ry,
an Oi'd sooner hear Katie O'Donnell sing
'The Harrup uv Tara' ur Mickey Dooley
sing 'The Man That Bruk the Bank at Mon
key Charley's' than all uv thim put togeth
er. Ol was verry sarry, though, fwhin Oi
saw th' beyootiful assimblage that Oi had
left me doimmd at home on th kitchin
mantelpiece, because there was nawthin
but doi minds there., Yurra my, Oi thought
they'd bloind me, they shpartled sol Id's
a wondher they didn't set foir to th' house,
Mrs. McGlaggerty.
. "Toozy ped no attlntion to thim, though
she was lukin fur her futball play'r. An
id's a gud thing fur himself that she didn't
ketch him, fur she had blud in her oye,
Mrs. McGlaggerty. She towit me she was
goin to throwvitreel an him, but Ol think
id was a bottle av Johnny Joomp-opp co
logny wather that she tuk along wud her.
Oi'm glad, though, fur his sake that he
wasn't there. Oi had no vitreel, Mrs. Mo
Glaggerty, but Oi hilt a shtove led lifther
in th' heel av me hand uudher me shawl,
and heavin help him afl Oi had met him, ' -Mrs.
McGlaggerty." New York Mercury.
One Loclcal Woman.
Priscllla If Jack is good tempered and
Tom isn't, why did you decide to marry
Tom?
Prunella Because if I marry Tom, Jack
will give meu wedding present. If I marry
Jack, Tom won't. Truth.
Question of the Hoar. .
"Upon Afric's sunny strand they wan
dered, two daughters of the forest in all
simplicity.
Strewn upon the beach were tbe shat
tered fragments of the stanch ship that
bad been torn in pieces by the cruel waves
the night before. i
Presently they paused, shuddered and
averted their faces.
At their feet lay the corpse of a woman,
her golden hair all bedraggled with tbe
brine, her blue eyes staring to heaven.
"Lookl" cried .the tall native.
They turned again. '
"Verily it seems"
Tbey were fazing in each other's faces.
and the lips of one spoke for the hearts of
both.
"like crinoline yet. They still make
their skirts fearfully wide."
With a parting glance at the remains of
tho European they retraoed their steps.-
Detroit News-Tribune.
Woman's Last Look. '
.
'When a woman has got her bonnet and
gloves on and is perfectly ready, with her
parasol in band, she always goes back,"
says a cynical person, "to a mirror to take
a last, fond farewell. Every woman does
this, but few are honest enough to confess f
it. "For my part," continues this frauk as
well as cynical individual, "I don't mind
telliug yon that I myself am not satisfied
with one last look. 1 invariably take four.
The second is for my brother or or some
other young man that's nothing but just.
The thim is for my friends that's only
generous and tbe last is tor the woman I
don't like, and wbodoesn't like me that's
human nature. If the fourth satisfies me,
then I assure you I never take any more." '
Loudon Tit-Bits.
A Fatal Remark.
But surely," urged Binks, "seeing is be
lieving." ' '
"Not necessarily," responded Jinks. "For
instance, I see you everyday, but as to be
lieving you"
He never finished that sentence. Drake s
Magazine.