The Hood River Glacier.
VOL.
noon iuvku, oiikgon, Saturday. November i, i893.
NO. 23.
3(cod Iivcr Slacicr.
H'lll.tmim, IVIHT ATOIthAf MOftftlNO H
, The Glacier rubllshtng CompaDj.
I IIM IIIITIO I'lllVK.
On. vftr ,
Ni Mitiiilh.
1 lllru MMM.tlia
Mm, tit tuij ( ( t
It oo
I
n
,...CmW
THE GLACIER
Barber Shop
urant Evans, Propr,
' ,i Si , rr Ouk. Hood KWtr, Or
Uviii; tul Hair cutting ntttly dun
Stufi lion iuraiiUd.
0(TII)IOTAL NKWS.
An exploring mill limiting party n-
''lllly returned fl'olll thlt Wild Olympic
MiMiiiluiiiM in Washington ri'(MirtM that
the tiinliiT linn disappear Kt uIhiiiI
,iniii (,-, I, mnl til tint base ( the higher
id, on Ihe 6,(km) mnl 0,OtMi-fool levels,
IS II system III lucadoM M II t II I hikes, W here
glass mnl Mowers grow ill great Itu
m i. mi ! mnl splendor.
icorgel ', ('filler, a Vancouver ( It. ('.,;
tni'li i taker hum called iihii to embalm
it whale M It it'll was recently caught mnl
wlinh the people desired to exhibit,
lie secured a piece of gaspipc, which III'
ilinw into the IkhIv ol tint whale. To
tin pipe he attacheil a lecr ihiiii j, con
iM'i'teil ii with a Imrrel o( I topui i ni
haluiing lltiiil mill ciiitiel it into the
HI 11 1 I II I hVMl'lll (l( tllU fish. PlH'Olllposi'
t Ii ill was checked.
The triul of James M. Neary for wife
immler linn begun at .Nmlii ( ru.. Thin
ih niie w here it Ih alleged hy tin' de
fense Ncaiy mnl wife were at ililllier,
mnl Neary, becoming irritated liy a
reit.itrk ol hi wife, struck the butcher
kind', wi'h which he was curving meat,
iuivily on llie table mnl it iHiiimleil oil',
sinking Mrs. Neary in the itide, she
being neateil wilh her side to the tahle.
J he hiiiiihI proved filial.
J.loyil Tcvis Iiiih hroiixht Hiiit at Slock
ti'li lo foreclose H mortgage of Jtiil,500
on the property of Mrs. I lowell, w ife of
M. J. Howell, charged with counlcr
hiling. At the Mime time Hint wax
brought by V. A. Wallace to compel
Howell ami bin wife to dispose of part
ol the property for f 12,000, iim by an
aiiipd agreement. It is thought
at Miiiktiiii that tin) two suits have
h-hi 1 1 connection, it having been Hliitcil
that a syndicate in working to secure
tiie Howell property,
Ivieclive Hume, who wan present at
the trial of Evans, charged w ith killing
Mes-enger Tovey, ami which trial in now
Koi m: mi at .lack mi in,. mm lor eon nt y, ( 'al.,
was advised by the Court that not being
in Hi-el or assistant couiiHel he coiill not
siiiucst 1 1 lu-t-1 ioiiH to the defense. Hume
tried lo explain, hut the Court paid none
hill attorney! woiilil lie permitted to ad
dress the Court, ho Hume indignantly
took Iiih lull anil walked out. I Veil
Boi-c, a witness, ailmitteil that lie had
lii'il, anil that lie luul lam paid to give
eit.iin evidence. Thin caused a nensa
turn. The I'mincrs' Ioaii and Trust Com
pany has tiled a petition at Corvallis, ask
inn 'that the order appointing .JoHcph
.Simon referee to examine into the status
ol ihecei tillcaleH infilled by Receiver I long
)e vacated. The grounds on w hich the
petition in hiiHed in that they were never
hcrvcd and that the order wiih ohtained
willioiit their knowledge. It in hIno
iliiimed thai tliu order lixiked to tin1
reversal of action had in tho cam after
careful conmderation, and that it would
involve protracted litigation when the
railroad wiih running heliiml. Upon
thm petition an order wan entered kiih
pending the proceeding!! until November
i;!,ls;i;(, when a full lieariug would Ih;
had.
The Railroad Gazette, wayn: "The
Culiniiliia Kiver and Antoria' Kailroad
('ouipany wan incorporated in 1H!U, but
hevojid having preliminary mirvoyH
nuiile ttlong the Columbia river Iiiih not
Hinrecded in doing much work upon the
line. .JtiH now reported, however, by
one J the ollicern that arrangements
luivo been nearly eonipleted for begin
ning tlie work north of Portland, and
that tlie contractu will be let during the
winter or early in the npring. It in
proposed to build along the Houth bank
of tho Columbiu river from Portland to
Astoria, a distance, of alnrnt 100 miloH.
The line wan Hiirveyed by W. H. Ken
nedy of Portland, and wimoof the right-of-way
Hccured. Mr. Kennedy iff Htill
chief eiigiiieer, and tho chief executive
olliccr in Walter 0. Smith of Portland,
Viee-Prcrudent.
The case of four Vacivville Chinese,
charged with failure to comply with the
provisions, of the (ieary act, wan heard
((fore Judge Morrow in tho United
Stales I 'in' net Court at San Francisco
the other day. Tho defendants,' attor
ney slated that to hear testimony would
only lie a wiwle of time, as. the bill ex
tending registration had already passed
the House and would in all probability
become law in a very short time. Tho
Court, however, ordered the examina
mition to proceed, and evidence having
been submitted to theelTeet that all four
defendants! were laborers within tho
meaning of tho act, and had not reg
istered, the Court ordered them do
ported. Judge Morrow also intimated
that he would in future isnue warrants
under said act for the arrest of high
binders and others of the criminal
classes.
lirNINKSS KRKVITIKS.
It !m estimated thai Ihe averiiye net
i ariiingH of the electric lampH in Loudon
Ii about 10 shillings each a year.
I n the production of glass jew i Ih 1 1 uu
gury leads, the world. The work is done
almost entirely by I lie peasant cIiihs,
About flHI,(XI0 worth of pearls have
been tul. en from (he waters of Wiscon
sin streams during the last few veins.
A new invention is un iiltuchmenl for
a horse's bridle, by iih iiiih of which Ihe
animal miiy citiry a lump on its heiul.
Haniel Harbold of links county, Pa.,
has a peach tree on his premises which
Iiiih Isnne gisxl fruit for seventy years,
Thi MiiiiufactiirerH' I! rd of llalti
morc publishes a list of Mrj industrial
concerns established in the South since
July I.
Idaho Iiiih prisbn eil lieuilv f (MM), 110(1
of gold concurrently wilh IL',IKK),IHKI of
silver. The two products ate mined to
gether. Forty thousand Ihixch of fall-made
cheese lmc just I'fi'll Hold by 11 .Moll-
Irenl dealer to an Kngli.ih house for
MHI.IHMI.
llll'sle Island lui more abiiinliiued
fiirms relatively t linn MusHarhuHftt.
New I fmnpshireand Vermont have fewer
than live years ago,
There is a pie fui ton in New Vork
that runs from 'i . i, to 2 r. m. six ilas
in-tin- week and turns out i'O.inh) pies a
iiay lor l lie iis ai tiiele alone.
It. K. Shuart of Yellowstone count v,
Mont., Ih'hii fiiriuinn in K.s:t with ijoiio
capital. In Mav, he solil out ranch,
buildings and stock for 4 10. (KM).
I hie of the lirst ciimpanies to ue the
vast power which mini bus liarnesHed
Niagara I alls to supplv him is a concern
to pnsluce iiliiiiiiiiium on a large scale.
A llrm in Palestine is engaged in the
new industry of supplying water from
the river Jordan to churches. It is put
Up ill sealed Uittles, and is sold hy the
case.
How time is passing in all parts of the
world is the interesting story which
every day is licin told by twenty-two
clis ks in the Terminal building of the
orld h I air.
The crop of the New York vinevards
this year is the largest ever rinsed
iilsuit H,(HK) carloads. A ipiaiitity of
nrapes will Im sent to Muglaiid. The in-
lilstry is very prolllable.
Hiiring the lineal veur eliding June .'id,
ls;i;t, (he brewers of the entire I'nited
Slates irodiii ed and disposed of a grand
total of :Ut,H,7 barreU of malt lup
llors, a liet increife over the previous
vcar of 2,170,:S'.m; barrels.
It costs the Knglij-h pisiple 'J,0O0,0O0
in taxes each vear to p.iv for the trans-
mission of tin- press message over the
;ovcrnmcnt wires, as the pres.- rate of 2
pence fur each 10(1 words does not begin
to pay the co it of sending t he maMer.
The ouantitv of suit inspected in Mich
igan thin year to ( ictolu r 1 in 'J,717,rMI
harrels, lieing H.i.lMKl less than was in
spected during the corresponding period
last year. Ihe price is the lowesl in the
history of the manufacture of salt in
that Slate.
Kerosene oil is rapidly growing in fa
vor as a cheap iMiimiuaiil in China. The
oimtiinption, w Inch was S,..iii,ono gal
lons in NM2, bad risen to I'.l,:! 1S,0;H) in
IHiil. Of this amount HO per cent was
imported from America and 20 per cent
from Russia.
1TRKLY I'KKSOXAL.
(Jiieen Victoria has been photographed
ti.'tl times since she came to the throne.
The Hue de (ialliera in said to possess
a collection of ntampn valued at 150,000.
The C.ar of Russia despite his great
size is a very plain eater. At State din
ners he rarely taken anything but soup
and dessert.
Mrs. Abrain Hewitt has inherited Pe
ter Cooper's old Hutch Bible, which w ith
its data of family history makes very cu
rious reading.
Kx-Secretarv of War I'.ndicott in hav
ing the old Peabody mansion at Hanvers,
Mass., i cpiurcd, and he intends to make
it his permanent home.
The oldest soldier in the liritinh arinv
in Field Marshal Sir Patrick Grant. He
is 80 years old, and joined the arm v in
the very year the Huke of Cambridge
was Iwrn.
Miss Agnes Melbv of New Richland.
Minn., who recently graduated at St.
Olaf's College, Norlhlield, in tho first
lady to take a full course at a Norwegian-
American l oiiege.
Horace Hoies ban never nsed tobacco
in any form, and is unaciiuainted with
the tantoof liquor, and perhaps his only
profanity wan when ho swore in an the
Governor of Iowa.
Mm. Frances Crosby, authoress of
" Safe in the Arum of Jenun " and 3,000
other hymns, in (14 years old. She liven
in New vork, and has been blind since
nho was tt weeks old.
Misn Lucille Rodney, who has won a
wager by walking from her home in Gal
veston, lex., to the World b hair, count
ing the ties all the way, made .1500 on
the journey, Polling her photographs.
Mrs. Cleveland commenced while at
irav Gables to collect shells and Fust.
Indian curios, which were picked un by
the old sea captains and presented to
her. Her collection is said to number
many quaint objects.
Prof. Benjamin Sharp of Philadelphia
is visiting the Sandwich Inlands in the
interest of tho Academy of Natural Sci
ences of the Quaker City for tho purpose
of collecting specimens' of natural his
tory. I le will visit the aboriginal burial
caves.
Admiral Dot, tho Lilliputian, who is
now a cigarette advertisement in Chi
cago, is only 48 inches high, but he re
ceived a telegram the other night that
made him feel as big as Grover Cleve
land. It was dated New York, and read :
"It's a girl, and weighs six pounds.
Mother and baby doing well."
EASTERN MELANGE.
A Yo!iii Aosll of Anarchy
Scut to the I'm.
Till': (ilN-Itl RNING WIIITKCAPS.
Missouri Downcast at the Low Mar
ket Quotation for Mulcn
Mllwaukce Firehiiifs.
The Federal building at Chicago in de
clared lo be unsafe.
Harrison county, Ohio, has had no
siiIimiiih for eighteen years.
I.alsir Commissioner Carroll I). Wright
will have charge of the completion of
the census.
A movement is on to have a l.'nittsl
States Circuit Court established in
Northern Texas.
At Lincoln, Neb., railroadmen Isiycot
led a hotel because the female waiters
w ere discharged.
New York is considering a resolution
forbidding policemen to carry pistoln
w hen not on duty.
There is in New York an organized
gang of thugs who lew tribute from the
mutormen every pay lay.
The receipts at the World's Fair from
paid admissions and concessioiiH on Chi
cago day amounted to ifltii.OOO.
The Western I'nion Telegraph Com
pany made net prolits in the vear ended
June :) last of over 7,K0,MJ(.
Chicago will hold a chrysanthemum
show in the Horticultural building on
the Fairgrounds, November?.
Suits against 208 St. Ijouis corpora
tions for noncompliance with the Trust
law have created much comment.
There are liftv-six jMistolIices within
the corM)rate limits of Chicago. Put
Chicago in big enough for a small State.
Joseph Jell'erson has Is-en elected
President of the Players' Club, in New
York, to succeed the late L'dwin Booth.
The International Cigarmakers' I'nion
in session al Milwaukee ban declared its
opposition to the National Guard system.
The thirtieth anniversary of the intro
duction of the Turkish bath into thin
country has just been celebrated in
Brooklyn.
The Brooklyn, N. Y., water nupply
contains twenty-eight kinds of live
animals and eighty-four species of
Vegetables.
Missouri is downcast at the low
market quotations for mules. Klectric
cars have interfered sadly with their
usefulness.
A stage in Coke county, Texas, was
held up recently by two highwayman,
who secured $H,biKI from the registered
mail pouch.
The scheme for a permanent Pan
American exhibition in New York gives
promise of achieving important com
mercial results.
Canadian Kxplorer R. G. McConnell
has discoveied that a lake at the head
of the Finlav river is the source of the
Mackenzie river.
Kentucky has granted to married
women the right to will their property
as I hey may see fit. The new law took
effect (tctolier 7.
A Western railroad company has in
structed its men, when meeting train
robbers, "to shoot lirst and do the
apologizing to the dead."
Twenty men are eiwpected of having
set some of the frequent tires in Mil
waukee, Wis., within tho pant six
months to get insurance money.
James Smith, who was crowned some
yearn ago Watermelon King of Boone
county, Mo., has this year raised a
pumpkin eight feet round tho waist.
Governor Matthews of Indiana in
after the Ohio and Mississippi Railroad
with a hot stick for bringing a train load
of pugilists, and their admirers into his
State.
Fire Chief Nicholson and several mem
bers of the fire department at Council
Bluffs, la., are under arrent and charged
with lieing the authors of several incen
diary tires.
Some (500 reports from forty-one States
show the volume of trade to be half of
that of last year, over if 1,000.000 less
paid in weekly wages and 100,000 men
out. of work.
There have been 108 cases of appendi
citis in Chicago since the Fair opened.
Its extraordinary prevalence has given
rise to the theory that it may bo a germ
disease after all.
An unusual race has been arranged
between the English locomotive, ''The
Kmperor." now on exhibition at the
World's Fair, and the New Y'ork Cen
tral flyer, No. i)!H.
"Gin-burning Whitecaps" in North
Carolina are causing trouble. They
propose to burn all gins that are used
to gin cotton. The object is to prevent
the further ginning of cotton wherever
possible nntil the price of cotton
reaches 10 cents a pound.
Bryan of Nebraska in his bill propoaes
that a fund should bo set apart by the
nat i onal ban k s so that deposi tors cou Id be
paid at once if they have occasion to de
mand their money, lie thinks if every
depositor was sure of his money he
would not draw it out, and this would
have tho eiTect of preventing panics.
l'.xperiments in canal towage by elec-;
trie motor, for which the New York
State Legislature appropriated $10,000
last winter, have begun at Rochester
under the plan of the Westinghouse
Company, which proposes the suspen
sion of trolley wires over the middle of
the canal.
FKOM WASHINGTON CITY.
It is understoisl that the Treasury will
undertake to build up the gold reserve,
now reduced to HT),()iK),000, by restrict
ing the payment of gold by tlie New
York siibtreasiiry.
Secretary l.aiiiont received the annual
report of Brigadier-General R. BrookcH,
commanding the department of the
Platte. Speaking of the Indian an a
soldier, General Brookes hiivh the
principal difficulty hcciiih to be that the
Indians do not speak Fnglish.
The Secretary of the Interior has ap
proved the decision of the Assistant
Attorney-General that half-breeds who
paid scrip under the act of 1854 are not
now entitled as "Indians" to allotment.
The case came up under disposition of
the Sioux lands under the act of 1880.
The Treasury ban issued an advance
statement of the imports and exports
for the lirst nine months of the present
year. Value of inijrts, (i2.ri,.'8ri,(;2.'i;
exsirts, !0.'!,l4,18:i; excess of imisirts
overexH,rts, f22.22l.4 IO. For the' first
nine months of I8H2 the excess of ex
jsirtH over imjKrts was $20,204, 000.
In the case of the United States
against Bailey and others, involving
twelve timlier land cases near Seattle.
Wash., Secretary Hoko Smith reverwd
the decision of the (Jominissioner of the
ieneral Lund l!ice, and holds that thene
entries were fraudulently made for the
purpose of speculation, and therefore
ho ilirects the entries to Ik; canceled.
The lands involved are said to be very
valuable.
Representative Hoolittlo of Washing
ton, lias introduced a resolution asking
the Secretary of State for information
regarding the Nicaraguan canal, as to
the amount of work done and the ap
proximate amount of money expended ;
what steps the uovernment fias taken to
protect the interest of Americau citizens
and investors in the canal, and the
status of the Maritime Canal Company
of Nicaragua.
The Committee on Pacific Railroads, of
which Senator Price is Chairman, has
U-en preparing, since the atinointment
of receivers of the Union Pacific rail
road became assured, to undertake an
investigation into the condition of the
government' security. Senator Price
has Ihh'Ii in consultation with the Attorney-General,
and they have procured
the apstintmefit of George H. 1 load ley
as special counsel to represent the gov
ernment.
Curtis of Kansas introduced a bill to
discontinue the oflice of Collector of
Customs at a number of ports in the
United States. Among the places
specilicd are: Humboldt, Kureka, Cal. ;
Southern Oregon, Coos Bay, Or., and
Yaquina, Or. The woik at these ports
into lie completed in thirty davs and
consolidated with adjoining districts, as
tlii Secretary of the Ireanury may deem
prudent. Curtis savs that the receipts
at these points are lenn than the ex
penses.
Samuel Blackwell, Third Auditor of
the Treasury, in bin annual renort.
states that during the pant year there
has tieen an enormous increase in the
pension disbursements. The number
of vouchers paid by the pension agents
has increased year by year from 1,220,-
110. involving S.W i0;,.r01, in 18K.'5, to
:i.ki!i,0H. involving 155,071,506 i8, in
180.5. J Inn is an increase of 200 per
cent in ten years, while the clerical
force has increased from 40 to 04, 30 per
cent only, in the name period. At the
close of the lineal year there were in the
oflice unexamined 1,284,310 pension
vouchers, representing about four
months' work.
An important decision has been
rendered by the Secretary of the Inter
ior on the appeal of James R. Daniel,
involving the right to purchase certain
forfeited lands in the La Grande district.
He holds that the purchaser is entitled
to purchase a technical half section of
such land when so surveyed, irrespec
tive of the actual acreage, but if the
land lies in different sections the acerage
must then approximate 320 acres. The
Secretary also decided that lands here
tofore patented to The Dalles Military
Road Company were originally granted
the Northern Pacitic Railroad Company,
and that the patents were without
authority. He orders the institution
of proceedings looking to their cancella
tion. In the Senate the Finance Committee
presented a report from tho Treasury
Department in response to a resolution
for information as to tho probability of
a deficiency in the revenues of the gov
ernment. The report shows the deficit
for the lirst three months of the current
fiscal year is over $21. 000.000, or at the
rate of over $84,000,000 for the entire
year. It shows the usual expenditures
of the first three months were over $08,
000,000. At the same rate the expendi
tures for the vear would aggregate about
$34,000,000, or about $21,000,000 more
than the estimated expenses, and would
nhow expenditures over the supposed
actual receipts of over $77,000,000. The
Secretary says a definite forecast for the
whole year would be impossible, but it
is apparent that should the present
conditions continue, the deficit at the
end of the year will be about $50,000,
000. Senator McPherson, for the Senate
Committee on Coinage, presented a
statement from Secretary Carlisle, show
ing that the estimated receipts of public
revenues submitted to the last Congress
for the present fiscal year was $405,000,
000, not including the postal service,
and the estimated expenditures, also
excluding the postal service, was $307,
000,000, shawing an estimated excess in
receipts of $32,000,000 for the year.
The estimate shows average monthly
receipts of $33,750,000 and average ex
penditures of $31,000,000. The actual
receipts so far during the year do not
reach the estimated figures by over
$7,000,000 per month. The Secretary
attributed the falling off to the finan
cial disturbances, lie says a careful
inspection of the figures will show the
deficiency is due to the falling off in the
revenues and not to an increase in expenditures.
FOREIGN FLASHES.
Three Famous I'risons in Paris
to be Demolished.
CHOLERA KAOISO IN PALERMO,
The Pope Consents to Act an God
father to the Klnjf of Spain
at His Confirmation.
An epidemic of influenza is raging at
Tropoli.
Uruguay is to increano the strength of
her army.
The jK.puIation of lielgium Is placed
at fi,108,.W).
It is estimated that there are 100,000
tramps in Germany.
The French Transatlantic cable was
worked at a loss of 013 last vear.
There are on an average 100 cases of
cholera rejrted daily in Palermo.
A paper containing matter exclusively
on astrology has made its appearance in
liondon.
The German hop crop is fehort about
15,000,000 pounds, according to the
latest estimate.
People in the south of ICngland have
been en joying the second crop of straw-l-erries
thi's year.
A w riter in the Ixmdon News says that
American tools are far better than those
of European make.
The strikes of miners in England and
Belgium are nearing an end. Riots are
still frequent in France.
Russia is reported to be purchasing
106,000,000 bushels of rye and storing it
in "preparation for war."
An English advertiser offers $500 to
any person killed in a railway accident
w earing his particular brand of suspend
ers. The census of India for 1801 shows the
population to be 287,223,430. Only 6 per
cent of the entire nunalier can read or
write.
The new Scotland Y'ard is the largest
police office in the world. It contains a
room in which 3,000 men can be as
sembled. Peixoto's forces have retaken the iron
clad Sete Septembre, which accidentally
ran aground on the coast near Kio de
Janeiro.
Motions censuring the government in
the II ungarian Diet were dismissed, the
opposition members leaving the House
in a body.
The French government is about to
establish a postal service by camels in
the French territory of Obock and the
Somali coast.
President Peixoto has issued a decree
depriving the revolting officers of the
Brazilian navy of the protection of the
national flag.
The exterior of the Rouen Cathedral
is to be restored. One hundred and
twenty thousand dollars are to be ex
pended on the job.
New Zealand has entered the woman
suffrage column. Its new reform bill
puts women upon an exact political
equality with men.
The Lord Mayors of London during
the past twenty years have collected
over twenty millions of money for phi-
laninropic purposes.
According to the annual report of the
British Postofnce, 2,785,270,000 letters
and packages were handled during the
nscal year just enueu.
London is somewhat excited over the
American adding machine, which has
just been taken over there At present
ii 1- a. : j j l
it in coi cunsiuerea seriously.
Runaway horses fell iust in time to
avoid dragging Prince RiuljicwiU, aide-decamp
to Emperor William, into the Nie-
inan river at Nieswics, Kussia.
Arrangements have been concluded
between the Berlin banks and other
banks of Italy providing for an advance
of 40,000,000 marks on the security of
Italian rentes.
London has a new but much needed
organization, whose name indicates fully
its purpose. It is called tlie National
Society for Checking the Abuses of
Public Advertising.
It appears from the official statistics
of the production of gold in Kussia in
1892 that the output of the mines has
been greatly increased by the improve
ment of technical appliances.
Mr. Gladstone is one of the greatest
vppoucilta IAJ U1VUIVC III LUG JllgllSil-
speaking world. He believes that mar
riage is a contract for life, which only
expires when life itself expires.
An English municipal body, Hendon
Local Board, has passed resolutions for
bidding the erection of henhouses.
unless the plans for the structure have
been submitted to and appro veu by the
Board.
The exports of rails and railway
materials from Germaoiy in the first
half of this year amounted to 62,216
tons. The corresponding exports in the
corresponding period of 1892 were 73,
270 tons.
Three famous prisons in Paris, which
have played a great part in French
dramas and romances Mazas, Ste.
Pelagie and La Roquette are soon to
be demolished, and in their place a
freat penitentiary is to be erected at
'resnes, in the Department of the
Seine.
The Tope has consented to act as god
father to the King of Spain at his ap
proaching connrmation and first com
munion. Mgr. cnetoni, the nuncio at
Madrid, will represent the Pope at the
ceremony, and will be the bearer of
some very handsome) present.
NO CAPTAIN'S TADLE FOR HIM.
It" TIiiiukIiI That thn Hlg Man of tha
Hlilp A l with tha I. k lUnilt.
He w.-ut pacing the promenade deck of
an ocHii steamer. One of liis eycit wan
blackened, and his red nose and nwollcn
features wore a careworn expression. The
bref.i- played gently with tho tails of hi
long ulster, and lie could scarcely keep Iim
feet. A Hiidden lurch of the ship crit him
Apniwiing ou the deck in front of one of
the pn-HM'iigi r who helped him up and
ahki'd hi in if he were sick.
"No, my friend," he answered gravely,
"but I'm afraid I've made a big mistake.
Ever crowd the ocean before?"
"Two or three timea," wiih the modest
answer.
"Well, then," liccontinued, "perhaps you
can tell mi; whether 1 was rightor wrong."
"How ww It?"
"Well, you see It was this way. The
other day 1 was appointed United States
consul ton little port over here across the
pond. I'm on my way there now. I took
cahin passage on this hont and I was hav
ing a tiptop time until today. This morn
ing I had just sat down to breakfast when
a big waiter came up behind me, and said
he, 'I beg pardon, sir, but the captain re-qii'-sts
that you be seated at his table.'
'What's that?' said I, 'sit at the captain'
table. Not much, sir. I'm no plug of a
common sailor. I'm a United States con
sul. I paid for first clang p.issac on this
craft and I'm going to have first class
grub.
" 'Sit at the captain's table! You must
be crazy, man. No, sir, I'm going to sit
right here and take my meals like the
other first class passengers. I'm a gentle
man. I'm an Americau sovereign, sir. and
I stand on my rights. The next thing
you'll want me to go down and take pot
luck with the coal heavers. I'm no steer
age passenger. If you don't lielieve it
here's my ticket. I don't eat with sea
captains, do yiu see?'
"Everybody at the table began to look
astonished like, and the waiter said: 'I'm
sorry, sir, but orders is orders. I wouldn't
dare tell the captain that you had refused
to come to his table. He would be much
iuiuJud, sir.' 'Then let him get insulted
said I, getting a bit riled. 'It's none of his
business where I sit. I don't have to eat
with rny social inferiors. I'm going to sit
right here, and if you don't take your band
off my shoulder I'll pate y , i emu right be
tween the eyes.'
" 'But you don't understand' he be
gan, and put bis hand on me again. With
that I got up and hit him. He struck
back and we clinched, rolled over on the
floor and gouged each other. A lot of the
waiters ran up and parted us. I got up
and left the room without any breakfast.
Just as I went out I heard somebody re
mark that I was the biggont fool that
ever stepped off dry land. 'Now tell me,
strangnr, is a man a fool because he stands
up for his rights?'
" 'Certainly not answered the other pas
senger, 'but don't you know that it is con
sidered a great honor to be invited to tha
captain's table? It is an honor accorded
only to people of high social rank or offi
cial position. The captain's table is con
sidered the finest in the dining room.'
" 'In the dining room!' he gasped. 'Then
it ain't down in the forecastle! Ah, now I
cateh oa. What a tarnal fool I've been,
anyhow, I'm going to get the biggest
deck hand on board to kick me all over tha
ship and then I'm going to my stateroom,
and I won't stick my nose outside until we
get to Queenstown. Goodby, my friend.' "
New York Tribune.
Literary Inspiration.
"Do you know," said the author, "I am
a firm believer in inspiration, and I believe
it is far more common among authors than
most people suppose. The poets by no
means monopolize it. In almost every
author's work there are sentences, scenes
or cb.tpters that are genuine inspirations,
born of the momeut, flashing upon the
author's mind without the least warning.
In my own case many of the best things I
have written have come to me in that way.
See here, let me show you how I work,"
and he took a long blank book from his
desk. "This is the kind of a book I write
the first drafts of my stories in before hav
ing them copied on a typewriter.
"You see, I write on only one side of the
page, while on the other side you will see
occasional lines hastily jotted down di
agonally across the page. Those are my
'inspirations and they come about in this
way: While I am writing suddenly an
Idea will pop into my head, often utterly
irrelevant to the particular part of the
work on which I am engaged some scene
later on iu my story, or it may be only a
sentence or two the happy expression of
some thought. I turn instantly and jot it
down on the opposite page, then go on with
my work, and when I have reached the
point m my story where my 'inspiration is
needed I turn back and copy it.
"I used to try to remember these things,
believing that when I wanted the sentence
the association of ideas would bring it back
to me, but I found that unwise. These
little 'inspirations,' in my case, are very
fleeting, and I have to nail them at once or
they escape." New York Epoch.
Some Curious Book Titles.
In the Sixteenth century we find the
greatest extravagance displayed in the
titles of books. These may be taken as ex
amples: "The Spiritual Suuff Box, to Lead
Devoted Souls to Christ," and "The Spir
itual Seringa for Souls Steeped in Devo
tion." A work on Christian charity pub
lished in 13S7 is entitled "Buttons and
Button Holes for Believers' Breeches."
The editor of this paper has Father La
Chaucie's work entitled "Bread Cooked on
the Ashes; Brought by an Angel to the
Prophet Eligiah (Elijah) to Comfort the
Dying." Another was issued with tho
curious title of "The Lamp of S. Augus
tine, and the Flies That Flit Around It."
The following very attractive title ap
peared in a book published at Newcastle in
IGOoi "Some Beautiful Biscuits Cooked in
the Oven of Charity and Put Aside for the
Fowls of the Church, the Sparrows of the
Spirit and the Swallows of Salvation."
St. Louis Republic
Hail a Better Job.
Employer (impulsively) Miss De Pinkie
Clara, will you marry me?
Pretty Typewritist Wnatf And give
up my twenty dollars a weo'i salary? Hut
much I New York Weekly.