iver Glacier
VOL. !.
HOOD RIVKU, OIIKGON, SATURDAY. NOVHMKKR 2fi, 1892.
NO. 25.
The
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3fcod Tivcr (glacier.
rillll.l.llltll RVKKT RATOKDAT MORNIKa
The Glacier Publishing Company.
Ml IIN IIIPTION MUCK.
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THE GLACIER
Barber Shop
Grant Evans, Propr,
faooint Kl., near Ouli, . . Ilund Klvnr, Or
Shaving and Huh rutting nratly dune.
Nutufut lion (itiamntuod.
OCCIDENTAL MELANGE
Crce Indians Exterminate (lame
in Montana.
ROBBED BY A MAN HE BEFRIENDED.
!l(Niutlfnl Mack l ire Opals Discovered In
Hastern Oregon San l'edro as
a Harbor lite.
Chinese have been arrested in Tucson
for selling cigarette to boys under ago.
Lohs A nuc Ion voted to issue $526,iHH
ImiiicIn lor water works in the hill dis
tricts. The section alxmt Coquillu City, r.,
In grently excited over the nrnail jkx
CHUt-H at Cqlllllu.
Tlu asm-sued valuation of Portland (or
1811.' U l"vl6.",732, mora ttinn "jO.OOO
less than for iSltl.
It is reported tli United States engi
neers (iivor San Pedro as a harbor
Hxniiist Sunt a Monica.
The Indian Commission lias effected
tliu purchase of 181,000 acres ol land
from the SiU-tz Indians in Oregon.
At Santa Barbara, Cal burglars are
doing a very good business. There have
hocn many daring and nucccshIuI rob
lieries the piiHt three months.
Attach merits aggregating $80,792 wore
filed at Helena, Mont., against Russell
It. Harrison's newNpaier, the Helena
Journal, by three Montana hanks.
Turnkey Howard French of the peni
tentiary at Boise, Idaho, was severely
bitten by a madman, and there are some
apprehensions as to the effect of the bite.
It is claimed that the Cree Indians
have during the past minimer completely
exterminated the g.inie in Big Hole
River Valley in Montana, a region which
formerly abounded with game of a.l
kinds.
K. (J. Brown and George W. Brown,
newspaper men at Tucson, have been
fined and imprisoned for making an at
tack n the court anil jury, which had
found indictments against them for
criminal liliel.
The Northern Pacific's steamer Zam
besi will probably have to take
back to China thirty Chinese who
were refused passports at Port Town
seed because their certificates did not
have photographs attached as required
by law. Most of them were liound for
Portland.
One of the cases that will come up bo
foie the present session of the United
States Supreme Court Ironi Oregon will
be that of the Eastern Oregon Gold Min
ing Company, plaintiffs, represented by
John Mullen and K. V. Drake, attorneys,
vs. 0. S. Miller. This suit involves some
of the best mining property in Kastern
Oregon, located in the famous Green
horn Mountains. Mr. Miller has thus
far been victorious.
Recently the Oregon Board of Kail
road Commissioners heard the case of
W. E. Loughmiller A Co., of Silverton
vs. thd Southern Pacific Company for
overcharge and shortage, and found them
entitled to a rebate of $2(1.3). The rail
road company was given notice of this,
but lias as yet failed to pay complainants
the amount found to be due them.
Loughmiller & Co. now ask the commis
sion to bring suit against the railroad
company to recover the over charge.
The State Board of Railroad Commis
sioners is now engaged in the compila
tion of tables showing the average as
sessed valuation of all railroads in Ore
gon and other States, which will include
all personal and real property belonging
to said roads. The average assessed val
uation of all railroads in Oregon for 1891
is $16,050.84 per mile, Including swamp
lands, city and town lots and all per
gonal and real property belonging to the
roads. There are 1,828.84 miles of rail
roads in Oreeon, and the aggregate val
uation is $210,30,169.
0. R. Brinkley, a well-known capital
ist of Los Angeles, who caused the ar
rest of his quondam bosom friend,
Claude Hill, has filed a second complaint
against Hill charging him with embez
zlement of $300 which Brinkley had sent
him to pay for some furniture. Hill
was picked up some months ago by
Brinkley, who took pity on him, as he
was poverty-stricken, and has since cared
for him. The result was Hill spent all
of Brinkley's money tbat he could get
hold of, and is accused of being the
means of breaking up his home.
FROM WASHINGTON CITY.
A Number of V:ii;uuirH In the Higher
Ollues of the hxeaitive iJepart
incuts of ( iuvcrmiietit.
The president has appointed Allwrt
ii. .Minn poHtinHHter at halt Lake City,
1 1 (ah, vice Irving A. Benton, who re
signed to incept the appointment of
united Males Marshal.
Neither (iiuieral Scholleld. who Is act
ing as Secretary of War, nor any other
army olllcer at lint department Is aw are
ol any contemplated exchange of com
mauds between General Howard and
lieueral Miles, as rcjtorted from Chicago,
Little credence is given to the story.
Fifth Auditor Timiiie In his annual
report to the Secretary of the Treasury
shows the adjustment during the year of
accounts aggregating $617,930,507 and
representing ex pence incurred In the
diplomatic and consular service, internal
revenue service, census olllce, Smithson
ian iiiHtituUou, etc.
There are a numlierof vacancies in the
higher ollices of the executive depart
ments ol the government, and the prob
lem of lllling them has leen consider
ably complicated by the results of the
recent election. In view of the fact that
a general vhangn will be made by the
new administration in March, the vacan
cies arn not altogether desirable pri.ei.
Among them are the First Assistant
Potitiiiater-tiennralHliip, Commissioner
of the General . ind Olllce, ami a num
Iht of diplomatic places, including the
Russian, Portugctip, Italian ami Swiss
Missions. The resignation of Assist
ant Secretary of ths Tre;taury Nettleton
and Mr. ('romiHu, who was the Republi
can candidate for Governor of Nebraska,
will take ell'ect next month. The Presi
dent will also have four vacancies on the
ImmicIi to (111 between now and March 4.
These are life portions and the most al
luring prizes remaining within the gift
of the administration.
The probability of an extra session of
Congress immediately following the in
auguration of the President-elect is a
subject of general conversation in Wash
ington. A SHcial session of the Semite
is always cal'ed at the Ix'ginning of a
new administration, to con (inn mem
bers ol the Cabinet and diplomatic rep
resentatives of the United States abroad,
but the present election, having turned
on questions of a domestic policy, it is
Maid to be obvious to experienced politi
cal leaders of all parties that an extra
session of both Houses of Congress is an
almost inevitable result. Secretary of
the Treasury Foster among others" ad
mits this. The country, he says, chal
lenged the judgment of the Republicans
on the McKiuley bill, and the result
must bo accepted as the will of the peo
ple that a different policy must be nut
into ell'ect. Kx-Secretary Bayard writes
to a friend here in like effect, adding the
people will expect this to be done with
out unncceecary delay.
Advices from Samoa are to the effect
that the differences lietween the factions
on the isiands, headed bv Mataafa, the
recognized King, and Malietoa, the
claimant io the throne, have reached an
acute phase. To fully protect the inter
ests of the United States it has been de
cided that a vessel be sent there at the
earliest practicable moment, liesides
this reason, baned on expendiency, it
appears that under the terms of the trip
artite treaty the United States is under
obligation to keep a naval vesael at
Samoa. There has been no United
States naval vecsel there for many
months, the Iroquois being the last to
call. The Alliance is now at Honolulu,
with the Boston, under orders to Samoa,
but these orders wero countermanded,
probably because of a critical turn in
Hawaiian politics. . It is the present in
tention to send in her place the Ringer,
recently of Vlie Retiring sea fleet and
now at Mare Island, San Francisco. It
will require about a month's time to pre
pare the vessel for the trip, and another
month or six weeks for the passage, so
she will not hi able to reach Samoa be
fore next year.
THE CHICAGO EXPOSITION.
The Board of Directors Decides to Clos
the I 'air at O'CI itk Each
Evening Insurance.
The Scotch Home Industries Associa
tion proposes to reproduce the cottage of
Robert Burns at the World's F'air.
Kmilio Castelar, the renowned states
man, orator and author of Spain, is the
choice of the entire World's Fair man
agement for orator on the opening day
of tho World's Fair.
The insurance written upon the
World's Fair buildings now aggregates
$1 500,01)0. When the fair opens next
spring it is thought the contents of the
buildings will reach the value of $100,
000,000 at least.
The electricians who propose to have
exhibits at the Chicago World's Fair are
indignant because of the decision of the
Board of Directors to close the fair at 7
o'clock each evening, m it will not per
mit of a good display of their products.
Chicago has more than fulfilled the
promise it made to the country with re
gard to the F'air. That city has spent
$10,000,000 in providing a home for it,
and it has spent them not only with
characteristic liberality, but with such
good taste, with Buch respect, reverence,
even, for art, as to command universal
admiration and commendation. The
promise Chicago made was to erect the
buildings by May 1, 1893. They are al
ready erected, and they surpass in their
grandeur and beauty all possible ex
pectation. The city having done so
much, the country should not do less
proportionately. First of all, it should
cordially and gratefully recognize the
magnitude and the value of the great
work Chicago has done, and it should
then resolve, the preparation for the
Fair be ng so adequate, the completion
of it should be equally so ; that it should
be in deed and fact a complete exposi
tion of all the products and productions
of the world's arts and sciences, and es
pecially of those of this hemisphere.
BEYOND THE ROCKIES.
Huntington Buys an Iron Mine and
Steel Works in Mexico. .
THE MILLER RAINY-DAY DRESS.
Total Insurance on Milwaukee Properly
lately Destroyed by I;lrc
Short-Ribs Comer.
The Boston Furniture Company has
failed.
Recent storms damaged lake shipping
Mr.o.000.
Philadelphia will organize a naval re
serve battalion.
Quarantine precautions at Boston are
to continue during the winter.
Heavy shipments of iro ore continue
to be the feature in that trade.
Navigation above Cincinnati Is practi
cally suspended, owing to low water.
General Miles says the Cheyennesand
Arapahoes are threatened with starva
tion.
There are onlv fortv-five free natienta
at the Pennsylvania Hospital for the
Insane.
A Chicago syndicate has cornered
short ribs, of which it controls 70,000,-
000 pounds.
The American tin-plate factories
turned out nearly 1 1,000,000 pounds of
plate last quarter.
Negotiations are in progress in St.
Dxiis for the consolidation of the four
street car factories.
Hereafter any ra'lroad in Massachu
setts which uses the car stove is liable
to a penalty of $500.
A fur mail at I hi nrAttalamta rf rr rtiA
citizens at Sedalia, Mo., have organized
a vigilance committee.
The drouth in Maryland compels farm
er in many sections to haul water from
a distance for their stock.
Dun's Review notes more active bisi-
nesB conditions than for any previous
ante-presidential election.
The Supreme Court of Missouri has
decided that official notices published in
Sunday papers are not legal.
There is a severe drouth in some sec
tions of New York State. Water Is very
scarce in a half dozen counties.
The postmaster of a Georgia town has
resigned because there was so much
blackmail connected with the business
A bridge that spans Cattaraugus creek
near Springville, Western New York,
touches four different towns and two
counties.
A negro digging on his farm in Liberty
county, Ua., recently found an iron pot
containing 4,000 in old French and
Spanish silver coins.
Sang Kee, a Chinese government of--
flcial, has arrived in Ottawa to make an
investigation into the character and
scope of the Dominion laws regarding
the Chinese.
Complete statistics of the great fire at
St. Johns. N. F., have just been issued.
The number of houseB destroyed was
1,874 and the total numbers of persons
burned out 10,234.
A company has been incorporated in
Chicago with $5,000,000 capital to manu
facture a new long-distance telephone,
which, it is claimed, will be effective on
3,000-mile circuits.
Although the total insurance on Mil
waukee property lately destroyed by fire
was over $2,000,000, only two companies,
so far ns reported, will have to bear a
loss of over $100,000.
During the past rainy spell at Ann
Arbjr, Mich., the girls appeared on the
street in Jenness Miller's " rainy-day "
dress. The skirt reaches half-way from
the knee to the ankle.
The executors of John Roach, the
ship builder, will receive from his as
signees, George W. tjuintard and George
E. Weed, about $2,000,000, the surplus
of his assigned estate.
The Plant Improvement Company at
Port Tampa, Fla., has commenced the
gigantic undertaking of dredging a large
basin where twenty large Bhips can be
loaded at once from elevated tracks.
New York will have to raise by taxa
tion for the expenses of the coming year
$33,771,008. The various departments
asked for a total of $39,062,517, but this
was cut down by the Board of Estimate.
Whittier's homestead is now owned by
a retired merchant of Haverhill, who is
willing to sell the estate on condition
that it shall be properly and perma
nently cared for as a memorial of the
poet.
The Pennsylvania road will experi
ment with lighting its tracks by elec
tricity from Philadelphia to Bryn Mawr.
If a success, the tracks will be lighted to
New York and locomotive headlights
dispensed with.
The suits for $20,000 each against Gov
ernor Francis and others, filed by three
of the men arrested at Forsythe, Mo.,
for participation in the murder of Deputy
Sheriff Williams in Taney county, have
been dismissed.
The United States Supreme Court has
advanced to the second Monday in Jan
uary the date for hearing the case of
Propservs. the Northern Pacific Railroad
Company, involving the title to a large
tract of water front in the State of Wash
ington. The "trust" distilleries of Peoria, 111.,
have been buying corn in enormous
quantities lately, and many of them
have largely increased their output.
The trust has also started up some of its
Cincinnati distilleries which have long
been idle.
EDUCATIONAL NOTES.
The I-arpe Permanent State Sihool I'unJ
of Kansas Polit cal Complexion
of Harvard fJraduates.
The first kindergarten in America was
established in St. Ixiuis in 1873.
It is slated that 204 of the 365 colleges
in the United States are coeducational.
Colored students of txHh sexes are to
be admitted into the Chicago University.
In the University of Michigan there
are five Chinese students two girls and
time young men.
The Ohio school teachers have peti
tioned the Board of Education for the
prompt payment of their salaries.
TliB slow progress of the thirty female
students at Yale Is very disc ju raging.
They have not learned the yell yet.
The applications for admission to the
Baltimore Woman's (Jollege are une
qualed in the history of that institution.
Lincoln University, the colored college
at Lincoln, Chester county, Pa., has re
opened with 250 students enrolled.
The number of sclioolhonses in the
United States is 210.330. The estimated
value of all public-school property is
$323,565,532.
Electricity, theoretical and applied, is
being taught in the evening classes at
several scholastic and Bimilar institu
tions in Boston.
Returns show that about 40 per cent,
of the alumna; of Vassar College, New
York, marry, most of the remainder be
coming teachers.
There are now seventy schools for the
deaf and dumb in the United States,
and there is also a college for them lo
cated at Washington, I). C.
Of the 1,171 graduates of Harvard in
the classes from 1885 to 1891 inclusive
who expressed their political preferences
712 were Republicans and 3(35 Demo
crats. The University of Pennsylvania has
this year 1,764 students, which makes it
fourth in the list of great educational
institutions. The three greater are Yale,
Harvard and Michigan Universities.
Queen Margaret's College is the only
college for women in Scotland that fits
them for university degrees. It wa
founded about fifteen years ago, and has
200 students in art, science and medi
cine. Kansas has a permanent State school
fund of $5,900,000, which draws interest
at an average rate of 6 per cent. The
semi-annual dividend from this school
fund for the past two years is $1,000,
614.04. The total revenues of the public schools
of the United States are : From perma
nent endowments, $0,825,127; from
taxes, State, $25,177,0(57; local, $88,328,
385 $113,506,412; from other sources,
$8,794,431. Total revenue, $135,125,010.
The Board of Education of Detroit,
Mich., bus decided that hereafter teach
ers in its public schools must have re
ceived their entire education within the
public and high schools of Detroit. Not
only this, but their right to teach there
is forfeited if they attend a university
afterward.
Three hundred and fifty-two thousand
two hundred and thirty-one teachers are
employed in the public schools of the
United States. This would give an av
erage of nearly thirty-five pupils to each
teacher. Deducting for county and city
superintendents, say 50,000, would give
an average of forty pupils for each
teacher. Of these teachers 227,200 are
females, and 125,000 are males. The
average wages are for males $42.43 ; for
females, $34.27 per month.
PURELY PERSONAL.
The List of Musical Prodigies Includes a
Young Cherokee Indian Girl
Emanuel Lasker.
Radyard Kipling has reconsiderd, and
will not settle down in this country.
Emanuel Lasker, the chess expert, the
other day played five simultaneous
games of chess, blindfolded, and won
them in an hour and a half.
John L. Davenport was appointed su
perintendent of elections in New York
twenty years ago, Horace Greeley hav
ing recommended his appointment.
The Scotch E&r of Crawford and Bal
carres is visiting New York- incog. He
is a tall, stout, fine-looking man, with a
brogue nearly as broad as himself. He
is coming West to hunt.
MoBt men whose name is McLeod pro
nounce it " Mac-cloud ;" but the ener
getic President of the Reading road, ac
cording to the Boston Advertiser, prefers
" Mac-leed " for himself.
Drs. Rubners .and Vernicke of Ham
burg, who have been experimenting to
see if cholera germs can be transmitted
to tobacco, claim to have demonstrated
that tobacco smoke is sure death to the
bacilli.
Prof. A. D. Hopkins of the West Vir
ginia experiment station has arrived
from Europe with a bug, which, he
thinks, will destroy the pine-tree beetle
that has so greatly damaged the West
Virginia forests.
Adjutant-General Douglas of Mary
land has received from Dr. II. Seaman
of Philadelphia the map used by Gen
eral Stonewall Jackson in the civil war
from the time of the battles with Pope
to the battle of Fredericksburg.
Senator Gorman, who has usually en
tertained a good deal at his home on
Rhode Island avenue in Washington in
the winter time, will not reopen the
house this coming season, but occupy
apartments in a hotel the Portland.
The list of musical prodigies in Boston
at present includes a young Cherokee
Indian girl, who is said to be remarkably
accomplished. She expects to return to
the Indian Territory when her educat on
is completed as a teacher of her tribe.
! FOREIGN CABLEGRAMS
The Number of Enrolled Voters in
the Kingdom of Italy.
CHOLERA IN A CHINESE PROVINCE.
New Tax Upon Bicycles In France Snow
In the Mack Forest Region in
Germany Etc.
There is a serious revival of cholera at
Baku.
England boasts of an aluminium
launch.
Archduke Francis of Austria is soon
to visit America.
Vienna has been declared free from
the cholera scourge.
Cattle disease has broken out in vari
ous districts of Jutland.
Hamburg officially reports no case of
cholera there since October 26.
Cholera in a Chinese province has car
ried off 30,000 to 40,000 people.
There is said to be an excess of $6,
000,000 of silver in the United Kingdom.
To every 1,000 men in the British army
only eighteen are over six feet in height.
It is now announced that Parliament
will be formally prorogued on December
13.
The French Cabinet has approved a
decree pardonirjg ten convicted Carmaux
rioters.
A syndicate has been formed to estab
lish a permanent industrial exhibition
in Stockholm.
The German army has a swimming
school for troops, where every one must
learn to swim.
France is to have a new subsidiary
coinage, which is to be oi some metal
beside copper.
An FInglish company is being organ
ized for the acclimatization of elephants
in South America.
Two daughters of General Booth of
theSilvation Army have bet;n expelled
from Switzerland.
According to the London Times, Brit
ish harvest was not nearly completed on
the first day of October.
Russia is said to have 70,000,000 in
gold, of which $9,000,000 is on depoeit in
London, Paris and Berlin.
A metal tower resembling the Eiffel
tower is to be erected at Lyons on the
heights of Gay de Fourviere.
It is reported that 200 white men
Belgians and Germans are leading the
Dahomeyans against the French.
The British government has given
$720,000 for the relief of the sufferers by
the recent fire at St. Johns, Newfound
land. Four feet of snow and a consequent
blockade of railway traffic are reported
from the Black Forest region in Ger
many. American competition in the grain
trade has caused many failures in Rus
sia, eight firms recently going into bank
ruptcy. Three thousand tradesmen of Cologne
have recently petitioned the Emperor
of Germany to abolish the new Sunday
rest law.
A woman without arms has been mar
ried at Christ Church, New Zealand.
The ring was placed upon the fourth toe of
her left foot.
The Pope is already receiving presents
for his Jubilee, which is to take place
next year, the first gifts having arrived
from America.
Dr. Luther TWHn nlmoinion Aa.
1 - - . - a. j'llj UllUU UC
scended from Martin Luther, represented
the Luther familv at tha
wuw vuuwv-i avivu
services in Wittenberg.
Emmi Nevada is ta hn nnn nf fia atara
of Sir. Augustus Harris' opera season in
London. She has not sung in the Eng-
uku capital ior iour years.
The loss of traffic nn nw.nnt nf tha
cholera epidemic at Hamburg has caused
J5'A .
a ueucit oi j.,uw,uuu marts in the reve
nues of the Altona railway.
It is proposed to connect the Oder and
Danube rivers by means of a canal, thus
making a complete waterway between
the Baltic and the Black Sea.
Penny savings banks are connected
with nnhlii Rphnnla f Ralli.m A
000 of the 600,000 primary pupils have
deposited over 500,000 francs.
The new tax upon bicycles in France
will be $2. As ther or nhniif ur.-v knn.
dred aud twenty-five thousand cyclists
ine revenue win De about $450,000.
M'ibs Margaret Cozens, the British fe
male suffragist, who reeflnt.tv advuata
dynamite as a means of securing the
franchise, is wealthy, educated and 30
the Empress of Russia's court dress,
which is valued at 3,000, has only been
woi n on one occasion, viz., at the corona
tion of the nresent Rmnnrnr it ia nnn.
ered with magnificent embroidery in
real silver.
The unfortunate claimant, alias "Sir
Roger Tichborne," makes his living by
aDDearin? at cnnnt.rv mimin holla anA u
exhibiting himself nightly for a fixed
sum ai. wen-Known puDiic nouses in the
suburbs of London.
The ahinmpnts nf
r - v wu uuuwuu
this year have been nearly $12,500,000
greater than the same time in 1891.
The agjregate shipments to India, China
and the straits were 8,325,098 this year,
against 3,899,621 in 1891.
Spurgeon's Tabernacle in London is
fitted with elep(,rir halla in rina in oil
parts of the house. Strangers are kept
standing until five minutes before the
service, when all the bells are rung si
multaneously and a grand rush is made
for seats.
THE DARKY DUCKED IN TIME.
It Wu Trick H lnrnnl During til
War, and It Hrrretl Him Well.
From where w at on the tavern veranda
we could lrk riijht acronn the Misaiiwlppl
river, although at the edge of the river on
our side tliwre wan a bluff 40 feet high, with
a atrong current helow. All along this bluH
were comrnona, and we had an unobstructed
view. We were talking and smoking when
a goat came around the corner of an old
abandoned warehouse and began to feed
toward us. Five minutes later an old white
headed darky, using a cane to help bim
along, came out from behind the same ware
house and stood almost on the edge of the
bluff, and appeared to gaze across the river.
"What fat take that goat has got, if ha
only knew itl" whimpered one of the party.
"What a fool of a nigger to take such a
riskl" growled a second.
We ought to have warned the old man,
who seemed totally unsuspicious of danger,
but we didn't Human nature is Just that
way. lie had been there twor three min
utes when the goat observed him and began
to twitch his tail. It was none of bis busi
ness that the man was there, and no law com
pelled hirn to kick up a fuss, but we all saw
that be meant to do it. As he gathered for a
run every man rose up to warn the victim,
but no warning was uttered. It was human
nature to want to see the fun. The goat shot
away like a flash, and as he drew near be
made a long jump to give full force to the in
tended blow. Next instant both bad disap
peared, and we ran down expecting to see
them struggling in the muddy waters. As
we reached the bluffs the old man rose up
from a pit dug within two feet of the edge,
and grinned and lifted his hat ant said:
"Mawnin', gem'len. 'Spected to find me
down dar', I reckon."
He pointed to the goat, which was swim
mind wildly about as the curreut carried ii
down, and one of the party replied: '
"Ves, we certainly thought you were a'
goner. You dropped in there, eh f You inert
have been pretty quick about it."
"Wall, sorter, but dat was no trick at alL
Doorin' de wah, when de Yankee gunboats
lay ober dar' an' frowed shot at de guns up
heah, I war one of de eull'd gerjen who
haudled de shovel an" de sand bst. Dat's
whar I I'arned to duck. Dem Yankees didu't
know me, an' dev kept tryin' to kill me, an' I
had to duck an' dodge so often dat arter de
wah closed I nebber got straightened up agin.
Ize bin layin' fur dat poet nio. e'u two weeks,
an' now he's dun gom- an won't bodder no
body no mo'. I usii to cups dat wab when it
was goin', but now 1 gee what a blessin' it
was. Wbar' would de ole man be now if de
Yankees had not frowed ten tons of cannon
balls at him an' I'arned him to duck?'' New
York Sun.
The Bad Boston Uncle.
Among the children of a certain Sunday
school is a bright little boy of four years. He
has an uncle who takes great pleasure in
teaching him nonsensical verses. A few
Sundays since his teacher was ' telling the
class about the busy bees, and asked if any
of the children could tell her anything about
them.
"Waldo can," spoke up the little fellow.
"Well, Waldo, you may stand in front and
tell us what you know."
And Waldo, rising proudly, steamed away
with these lines:
"How doth the little busy bee
Delight to bark and bite, ,
To gather honey all the day
And eat it up at night I"
Trying to suppress a smile the teacher
asked:
"Did your mother teach you thatr
"No, my Uncle Arthur did!" Boston
Transcript.
He Was Getting It.
At one of the towns below Rochester a wo
man and her nurse and child got aboard, and
it wasn't long before the child, who was a boy
of 3, began to act up. The mother paid no
attention to him whatever, not even when he
began to kick and bite, strike and squall.
All the passengers soon agreed that the young
autocrat was in sore need of a spanking, but
the mother had her nose in a novel and the
nurse didnt want to take the responsibility.
By aud by an old man, who had been suffer
ing with headache, could stand it no longer,
and be leaned up and whispered to the nurse:
"Why don't you give that young'un a good
pounding i"
"Kape shtill, yer honor," she replied with
a wink. "I've got four pins sticking into his
body already, and in a minute or two I'll
have thray or four more." Detroit Free
Press.
Give the Fly Chance.
"Good many flies in here," he said to a
shoemaker on Champlain street, as be sat
down to have a lift put on the heel of his
shoe.
"Yes."
"Never tried to drive 'em out, did your"
"No."
"Don't want to keep 'em on the outside, I
uppos9!"
"No."
"Wouldn't put up a screen door, then, if
any one should give you one?"
"No."
"You must be the house fly's friend"
"My frendt, I vhas sooch a man dot I Ilk
eaferypody to get along all right If you
pitch on some flies he vhas mad; if you gif
him a chance inaype he goes py himself und
does vhell und vhas your frendt." Detroit
Free Press.
Her Preference.
We sat upon the topmost step,
And talked of this and that; ; . ,
She asked me if I'd been away.
And bow I lilted her bat.
We chatted about various things,
Of novels and the weather;
For hours, on almost every theme,
We there conversed together.
I asked what paper she preferred;
She hesitated some.
While through the dark around we heard
The gay mosquito's bum.
She moved a little closer then.
And answered: "Cant you guess?
Why, the one of all that suits me moat
la The Daily Evening Press."
Chicago News.
A Stalk of Rhubarb.
A stalk of rhubarb grown by Georee
Cruiokshanks and exhibited at George H.
nanaei's market measured eight inches in
circumference and weighed two pounds
and four ounces. Fitchburg Sentinel