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About The Columbia register. (Houlton, Columbia County, Or.) 1904-1906 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 22, 1905)
v r i my rowing Old Fast And you know why, too. It's those grty htlrsl Don't you know thit Ayer'i Hilr Vizor restores color to gny h.ir? We!!, It does. And It never fills, either. It stops filling hair tlso, sod keeps the icilp clesn snd hethhy. Do not Crov old too fsst! ( I ktn m4 wif yir fnf iMr f" a I tlmiM laa4 fee torn to ak li4 to iiIhhiI IV It kH mt kalr frwa Uraln inr mi ataa Mm Bar wti.iM e hiikt-i S. fMrikLit.UaiJa uir, Oragua, Jf . o.iro., lu, au. Ala KuiktUnrt f 9 Vers lAMANMJU. run. ueuvponaui. JaetaWayThay Have. "Fsy, conduct or," asked tk Inquisitive , pssaenger, "la speaking of th time which U propfr, 'a quarter t sli' or 'qturter I ill.' " "Neither," replied tb rsllrosd man. "I always fix 'flv-forty-nv. riTP lno ao.niljr Curad. Koflti. rrotxnM fllO Af tint Oar's uh iflr. K llna'sllraai Narve KT"''"" ''rrasjeinaioniil.Miauallaa, .H.U.KUu,U4..IM Ank. I'Ullailalphla, Pe. lit Had Kaoacb. Enpeck wii dining at tb homt of a frUad. "Will you hare torn of tbt tongur asked tie hoatee. "No, thank you." replied Enpeck, "I gtt too much of that at bo in a." ttow'a This? W offer On Hundred Dollar Reward fot an eaeeol Catarrh that eatiuol ba cured bl UalT Catarrh l ur. t. i, CIIK.NKY A CO., rror. Toledo, 0. We, tha undarslgnrd, have known t, J. Cheney lor the lam 14 year, and believe hi a perfectly honorable ia all buaineaa trausee lion, and financially able to carry out any e ligation, mad br their arm. V mt 4 latui. Wholesale l'ruggtsts, Toledo, O. wauiro, aiwai a mbti, aoiasei vruf f l.u. Toledo. O. Itall'a ( atarrh ('lira ta takan Intamall. mrU Ing directly upon the blood and aiuouua ur- oi ine ysim. rric ma. per ootu. auia dt an vrugiiti. leaiunoniaj lie. ilaU'a family fills ara ta beat. Was a Mutator. Nevada Nad Thar goes Mlrada Mike. Ha'a ambydeitreus. Eastern TourUt Ah; I suppose k caa writ with either band, Narada Nad Nep. Can't wrlta at all Ha aboaia tw-banded. You Caa Oat Allaa'a FooUCaaa FfiCQ. Writ Allan 8. Olmsted, U Hoy.V. T., for a fraa sample of Allaa'a Foot-P.. Il eure awaallnt. botiwullan, achlag faat. It makat aw or light akw aaay. A aartain aura lot eoroa, Inarowlnipalla aad bnalani. Alldrac flauaaUlt. SX. lHD't aoo.pl any rubailtuta. Don't luiatftua laai avarr aad-ayad woman you aaaat baa larad a ad laat. It'a aora tban likaly aka larad and got klm. Mother will find Mr. Wtnaiowl Boot bin tyrop tha aaat ramady tonaa far Ihalr ahlldraa durlog tha taathlni parlod. Knowladga and timber ahonldn't ba much naed till they ara aeaaoaed. O. W. llolmea. TIIK I) A MY FLT KII.LKR datroya all lh. him ana aiTnnl. runTurtlOKwry boma-la dining rouoi, Hoping Mom and all placva whra hlMaralniutila. aama, Claan, naal and will noianllurlnlura anyihlng. Try Ih.Bi HM anif ynu will n.v.r I wiihont ihm. If not kvpi by diwiara, Mm prapai.1 k.r c Harold Komara, lil iJ.halb Ava., Hrooalyn, It, Y. ' iii J EDU CM 7" OA a Ola 4nl out, rttarn ta a wtih tha aamaa and addrct of youraelf and two af your frtandt. and tha dta whan you will probably s enter a builnrat collage, and we will credit a you with S 00 on our toS.OO achel.nhlp. a Our achoot offer, txceptlooal advantage to tludenuef Builneu.&oorthand, Engllih.etc. ' Best Instruction Iowist Tuition waira rot uuioaui i if nil a THE MULTNOMAH . : BUSINESS INSTITUTE : M. A. ALBIN, raia. I aa aixTH ar. PORTLAND, ORE. ECONOMY Hot Air Pumping Engine Tumpa water tor boum and irrigation. Dlaplaoa wnd mill and gaiollne engine,. Burn gaeellae, wood or ooal. Bu auto mata (top. Shipped on approrat. Wrlta (or catalogue and price. BE ALL & CO. 321 Hawthorne Ava. Portland. Ore. V 4 r. ft a New 38-1 90S EN writing te adTOTtiaera pleaee naauoai aia papen Too Early. Tber la an tntrmtlnr tnaedota given lu tha Boiton I h-raid of a Mr. Capt-n, an oU re:.t.'i,t of od of tha r a port towna of Maatacbuietta.' Ha la tiow amploytd aa drlrer of tha coach which ronvrya trtTalara from tha tralog to tha hotel. Ona Saturday arming la tha latter part of September tbraa men arrived on tha afternoon train from Beaton. Mr. Co pen wai sitting on the drlver'a aeat of tba coach, waiting to take them to their deatlnatlon.' They looked about tha at a Hon. and evidently were not favorably lmpreaed by tha sur roundings, for on nan was beard to lay: "What a deeolatt country! Wa cer tainly bare com to tha Jnraplng-off place tbls) time. I don't belle? we ran even get a Sunday paper In tbls plara, can wa, drlverr Tber waa allenc for a moment and then Mr. Capen drawled out, "Wal, not to-nlghL- Warraated a Hpeedy Car. Dr. William Osier, In oue of bla Hal tlmor lectures, recited a quaint oln cure for the gout a cure, from a aev enteentb century medical work, that waa designed to show gout'a hopeless ness. "First pick," said tbla odd cure, "a handkerchief from tba pocket of a -aplnster who never wished to wed; aec ond, wash tha handkerchief In in hon est mlller'a pond; third, dry It on tha ledge of a person who never waa cove tous; fourth, send It t tha shop of a physician who never killed a patient) fifth, mark It with a lawyer's Ink who never cheated a client; and. elith, ap ply It, hot, to the goat-tormented part apeedy cur must follow." Marriage on board ah In are conald ered unlucky. If you can't ba married on dry land remain unwed. Tba finding of a aplder on tha wedding gown by the bride la conalderad a aura token af happiness to coma. AMUSEMENT NOTES. Terhapa the moat important event oi tne present aeason will be the en Bailment of Isidore Witmark and Fred eric Kankin'a comedy opera "The Chaperons," which will be seen at tha Marquam Theater alx nights and Wed nesday and Saturday matinees, open ing Monday night, Bept. 18tb. "The Chaperons" baa become what ia known aa a standard attraction, that ia, the amusement irolnn online of tha eonntr at large baa come to look forward to the regular annual visit of this charm ing musical play aa to a genuine pleas ure. It la alwaya new and up-to-date. Managers of theater are also alwaji glad to book "The Chaperons" because they are Invariably sure of bis- buainee and that their patrons will be mon tnaa aatisaed. The company thla year ia bigger, better and made up of more pretty young giria tban ever before, a ana me scenery ana costumes are en tirely new. "The Chaperona" la tha first o( the big musical comediaa. to ap pear during the Lewie and Clark fair. The Chaa. A. Taylor company ia just comrtletinff a successful emraramant at The Empire this weak. Thta company baa bean a great and pleasing anrpriae to our theater goers wr1 -V-A-V 11 h ' h '-'. , .... ..':' V'.:: ' V Vv. ; Madchn Marshall. With "Ta Chaperona" by the excellence of its nerformancM. for although unheralded and almost unknown It uaa given ua one of the best, if not the very beat, renditions of melodrama ever seen in thia citv. Thev will be followed for the week starting tsunday, sept. 17th, by a company in "Fabio Romain." and we are Dromined another intellectual treat. The Baker baa been crowded at ever? rjerfomance this week of the "Kentucky Belles" burlesque company. One of the primlfal reasons for tbe success of this excellent company lies in the jingling melodious muslo sung by rarely cultivated voices. This cosy little theater seems to b reganiing with a bound its old popular ity and the management ar to be con gratulated on the success of their sew venture. Wheeler & Markell'a merrvmakera. who follow the "Kentucky Belles," are said to be a first class organization of singers and fun makers and will keep up and add to tha reputation their predecessors have established. - They will start tip on next Sunday, the 17th, Inst, and will play all th a ,e,a,May-t Th Old Story-"But pspa, h says h can't 11 v without ma." "Glv ua a new on; I told that aam story to your motherP Th Automobll Flight Sidney Why don't you talk as w rtdef Kod ncy Wllt I can't think with my hair standing on end. No Eacap. Bell Boy (outsld of room CS) Say, th gaa la eacaplng in tber. Countryman (Inside of room Mr-No, It ain't; I locked th door. A Vacuum. A pupil In a Lynn (Mas.) school waa asked by hi teacher to gir th definition of a vacuum "I can't Juat describe It" aald be, "but I bav It In my bead." Wanted a Clrcua. Tbe Child Ar you the trained nurs mamma aald wo, coming? Th Nurse Tea, dear; I'm th trained nurse. Th Child Let' ae aom of your tricks. ilios Foreigner. Doctor (after t artful examination) Some foretsn announce la lodged In your eye. Deu- nle OI knowed utl Thofa what Oi git fr wurrukln wld them Dagoeal BU Whistles. An Irishman askod a Scotchman one day why a railway engine waa called "ahe." Sandy re plied: "I'erhapa lt'a on accouut of the horrib'o nolae It makea when it tries to whlatie.- ' Tbere She Blowar On the voyage a achool of whales waa sighted, and th millionaire, plumber rubbed bla l.nnds in ecstasy. '. oy la be jio happy r asked a paaaenger. "Becauae," wllspered the captain, "be imagines each spout la a bursted water pipe, to be repaired at regular rates." What lie Hurt A well known Judge fell down a flight of stairs, re cording his passage by a bump on e'ery step nntll be reached the bot tom A aervant ran to bla aaaistance. and, raising blm up, aald: "I hope your nonor la not hurtr "No," aald the Judge, etenily, "my honor la not hurt, but my head is." Not wonderful! He pointed out to a newly arrived Paddy the grandeur of tLo Niagara, with the words, "There, now! Ian't It wonderful r "Wonther- fuir replied Tat; "what'a wontherful?" "Why, to see all that water com thundering over thoae rocks!" "01 can't aee anything wontherful In that what la there to hinder It from com li'aT over?" Coala to Newcastle. Wife What Is meant, John, by the phrase, 'carrying coaia to isewcastier Husband It Is a metaphor, my dear, ahowlng the do ing of something that la unnecessary. Wife I don't exactly understand. Glv me an Illustration a familiar one. nusband Well. If I were to brinsr von home a book entitled, 'How to Talk,' teat would be carrying coala to Newcastle. Th Way out of It When preaching rcr a public charity, a note waa hand ed up to the clergyman, asklnar If it would be right for a bankrupt to con tribute. Having answered that such contribution would be robberv. the speaker added: "And, my brethren, 1 would moat etrongly advise you, who are not insolvent to contribute this niornlng, since, If you are seen to Data the plate, your neighbors will be aufe to aay, That'a he! That'a the bank rupt! " He Waited. "Supposing you wn!t here in this comfortable seat bv the elevator while T mnrrh thna tvn a.m. WVM . . ' ... v ouj plea of ribbon," aald Mrs. Mayfalr awectly to her husband, who had been entrapped Into going ehopnlnsr with her. When she came back abe aald contritely: "nave I kept yon waiting an nnpardonably long time, tou noor dearr "Oh, I haven't minded if be said, cheerfully. "I Just Jumped on a car and ran out to the league irrounda and saw most of the ball game, and then I took a little spin in the park with Dorton In hla new auto. Did you match the samples t" "One of them. If s so provoking. I'll have to come in again to-morrow, for they are closing the store now." Hard on Koran. Scene: The Wilsons dining room. Norah. the slovenly cook. Duta her head In at the door. Norah Plaie, ma'am, will Te be afther tellln me whin I'm to know whether th' puddln's baked or not? Mrs. Wilson Stick a knife into the middle of It and If tle knife comes out clean the pudding Is ready to send to the table. Mr. Wilson, And. Norah. If it does come out clean stick all the rest of the knives in the house into the pudding. woman's uom companion. Ba Not Itaah. On need not thrust his hand into a raging furnace even though he knows that a precious Jewel lies therein, ne may be patient, until the flames are spent From "Th Bishop's Niece," by George n. Heard. ' Every baldheaded man secretly en vies a poodle, . . ' . . '.' 'I 11 T. V " -1 VyT 1 ft VA VLJnW-w WiMix Wfccn tie systea get! dettl itatcd and la a . . - vM-a- womiv UVA MM UCTU teen one discovered that ia the equal of S. S. S. It ia especially adapted for systemic remedy, becauae it contains do atrong: minerals to derange the) tomach and digestion, and affect the liver and bowels. It ia made entirely of roots, herbs and barks selected for their pnrifying- and healing qualities, and possesses just the properties that are needed to restore to the body strong robust health. When the blood become impure and dogged witi waste matters and poisons the body does not recerve soi- I bare need jemx 8. & & and found it to be aa ficient nourishment and sni- excellent tonic to build up th general health and fers from debility, weakness, tone and strength to the system, I bar tued sleeplessness, nervousness, other lhio recommended, but 8. S. S. did loeVof appetite, bad dilet ZJ other dL. preeable Symptoms of t dxs- eral btulding op under iU livlgorating iifluet!L ordered blood circulation, 548 W'oodLuid Ave,, Warren, 0. Mas. TLltz Bat end if it is sot corrected some form of malignant fever or other dangerous disorder will follow. S. S. 8. builds tp the broken down constitution, clears the blood of all poisons and Impurities and makes it strong- and healthy. The nerves are restored to a calm restful state, refreshing: sleep is had again, the appetite returns and the whole system is toned up by this great remedy,' ! S. S. S. is a blood puri fier and tonic and acts promptly in this run-down depleted condition of the System. Book 0n the blood and medical advice furnished by our physicians, without charje, TJISSYtFT SPECIFIC COi ATLAMTA, GA ST TOMO InTlalbla. The Judge Tou say yon ar not a vagrant, yet yon have no, visible means of support The Hobo I did hav die mornin', yer honor. Th Judge Then why isn't it visi ble at the present time? Tbe Hobo 'Cause I went an' eat It Real Unkind. Htttle My music, teacher aaya I have tbe most wonderful voice ha ever heard for one of my age. Carrie Well, 70a ahonldn't allow a little thing like that to worry yoo. Hattle Worry me! Why, what do you mean? Carrie Tou are yonng yet, and tk chances are yon will outgrow it aiUaUL AYeCetable Prtparationfor As similating fitcFoodandKcguia lifig flic S tomaefcs aiilBcrwels of -Wrmui ! UJ. in. 1, if , , --.J. Promotes DigesfioaChccrfuI ness and RestContains neither Opiumforplune norllineraL ISOT ATAXIC OTIC. JUSmm jftSawasjaVa JaaiaWttiakaaaaai aaaaB) WAa'jerBySBasj. f aWfan A perfect Remedy forConsBpa Tion, Sour Stomad,Diarrhoca and Loss OF SLEEP. FacSimils Signature of NEW YDT1K. ITT? EXACT COPY (V WHAEeEH. Ill Tor Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears tbe Signature of AW In Use For Over Thirty Years ir n r mm IE acMTaua eoaiea.rr. aaw eaaa orrr. v J L- ; DR. W. A. wise We do crown and brldgvwork without pain. Our U years experience In plate work en ables u to lit your mouth comfortably. Dr. W. A. W tse b a found a safe way to extract teeth abaolu ely without pain. Dr. T. P. Wise Is an expert at cold Oiling and crown and brlrigework. Kxtractlng fraa whan plate or bridges are ordered. WISE BROS. DENTISTS Falling Bldg., Third and Washington Sts. Open evening UUS o'clock. Sundays from S to IS. Or Main Z029. 1 Mabreii I UaWasaaayieAhfaV t wn-namiiaainiT DR. T. P. WISE. K0TH1KG WILL FATTET1 HOGS So quickly and wetl aa Prussian Stock Food added to the feed. It will cut them In t!?- to fatten rapidly. Shortens rtlenin Time. "We can truthfully aay from our experience Prussian 8tock Food shortens the fattening- period at least one fourth. Veconsldcritlndispensibleinfattenlnghog;a and cattle.-J. W. WILLIAMS.Breedera.BriantrinS. fjJ?1 br "'" H?etlon. peitlnir all the good oat of the t.od eoMumed. EVKRV OWNmi of hones, mwl hoJ. or PRUSSIAN IOWP will flnfi It naTC Parke cr rW. 11 rV A IK vail ikA'aaJ. m sa ... iwro.ir DuwK orrouitry isooK. . ' ' ' r i v f 00V?r,..yft POWDER for I Ira on 1-o.mrj nd r-nua&lAW REMEDY CO. 8t Paul, lllnn. PORTLAND SEED CO.. Portland. Oregon. Coast AenU " - TLX a a are emigrating to Aicer.a and Can ada by tbe thous ands. Where there is a il I r a-. s a dollar to be made Uncle Sam s People izxuxx ereatest opportunite of any country In the world lor good Invest ments, l and ran be bought of toe C. P. K. company on easy psy. ments of one elxth to one-tenth down, 6 per cent interest, yearfv . fi.iv r acre, mm is as nn land as the sun ever shown on. 1 am conducting parties out ! 6pokane Mondays of ech week, giving-special railroad rate and showing. them 0T)r Alberta. Join the crowd. Any information cheermlly tixen. JAMES H. LEWIS, fpeciM Land Agent AlberU and Canadian Railway Und. 719 Rivid A.. Snok.n. w..k - - -p W" 1 i.., -. ,ij .. .. ..mi . . . '. .
