The Columbia register. (Houlton, Columbia County, Or.) 1904-1906, October 14, 1904, Image 2

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    Topics of
the Times
Secretary Hay is a grandfather, and
If a boy. Bring on the little breeches.
An "lmpre gnable fortress" Is merely
cue requiring a larve force and mou
and artillery to take.
Gracious, what a glorious thing It
would have been for the Russians If
the Csar's boy had been twins.
The moon will bear watching. Ac
cording to Astronomer Pickering. It
lias broken out In a new spot.
Naturally the project to make paper
money "velvety" has failed, and w
hall go on working hard for It as of
old.
Hut If Carrie should appear at the
door, would Bishop Totter be war
ranted in saying something like 'Tar
nation?" There Is a tide iu the affairs of
wheat which, taken at what seems to
be the flood, frequently leads on to
misfortune.
The power of the pessimist is shown
by the public's familiarity with the
word "dyspeptic" and Its unacqualnt
anoe with "eupeptic."
A New Jersey man has made hlin
celf a suit of asbestos clothing. lie
apparently has a suspicion of what the
future holds in store for him.
Both Japan and Russia now have
about $200,000,000 Invested In the war.
The differenece is that the Japs have
something to show for their invest
ment Just as soon as those English troops
reached l.hassa they made It English
by dropping the "h." They have been
spelling it L'hassa all these years, and
now they spell It Lassa.
It Is said that the pay of the Jap
anese soldier is only 45 cents a month.
In view of his recent performances we
believe the war office would be justi
fied In raising It to half a dollar.
A .fashion writer for Mr. Bok's
paper says that all women should
wear a beauty spot so as to be fas
cinating. Some of them would be more
fascinating if the beauty spot covered
the entire face.
Statistics now in course of collation
at Washington seem' to Indicate that
the sifting process applied to Immi
gration at the country's ports of entry
Is, to say the least, defective. Figures
showing the number of aliens confined
in penal and charitable Institutions
have been gathered by special agents
In every State and Territory. These
figures, it la said, show that thousands
of foreigners who, under the laws,
should not have been admitted to this
country, have become public charges,
and, as such, liable to deportation at
the expense of the steamship com
panies that brought them to the Uni
ted States.
It should be a source of pride to
very one within whose veins flows
Anglo-Saxon blood that our language
Is rapidly becoming the dominant ve
hicle of speech throughout the earth.
No longer is It necessary for an Amer
ican or Englishman contemplating
foreign travel and equipped only with
his mother tongue to feel the least ap
prehension as to his ability to go any
where and everywhere along tha
beaten tracks of Europe. More people
now speak English as their vernacular
than speak any other European lan
guage. In every town and city of Im
portance on the continent there are
many persons, students for the most
part, who are able to converse In Eng
lish and who feel a Just pride in the
accomplishment and take pleasure in
Its exercise.
As if it were not enough to reform
the spelling of certain words in our
language, two scientists have come
forward with the purpose of reform
ing the alphabet itself. They affect to
have tested the speed with which the
mind can recognize some of the letters,
and the conclusion reached by them
Is that the forms of the printed letters
are badly conceived from a physio
logical point of view; that If they
were composed of characters of simple
construction, such as are the letters
T and L, the speed of the recognition
of letters would be greatly increased
ond the mental fatigue would be much
diminished. These scientists are
ehrewd enough not to say what form
the other letters should take in order
to relieve the mental fatigue. They
end by simply making the complaint
It is a curious fact that the desire
for physical development for their
children comes to many parents more
slowly than that for intellectual de
velopment. It Is prety well acknowl
edged now by everybody from the il
literate immigrant to the "poor white"
that "book learning" is a good thing
for the children. But the schools In
England meet the same opposition as
those in America when they try to
put the development of muscle on the
same basis as that of memory. Many
a school principal has listened to pro
tests substantially like that of the
good woman who carried her views of
education to the grammar school
teacher: "I want ye to teach me girl
readln', wrltln' and 'rlthmetlc," said
she, "but she ain't t' larn anny more
of this physical torture. If it's Jumplu
h needs, I c'n teach her jumpln' me-
elfir Presently we shall make good
our return to the Greek system, which
Included music and Kymuastics es
sentials to education, and so produced
a wonderfully balanced creature
with body, mind and spirit In such due
proportion that no one could overtop
the other. The professional athlete,
the puny scholar and the religious
recluse are each the result of the rep
aration of one department of educa
tion from the others. The symmetrical
man Is the result of the well-considered
union of all the departments.
Once every year the soldiers of th?
Civil War who still survive are accus
tomed to gather somewhere for their
national encampment Three days are
given to reunions and business meet
ings and a parade. This practice has
continued so long that It has become
an old story In all the northern half
of the country; for the Grand Army
has both encamped In Maine and In
California. It la an old story In one
sense, but a perennially new one In
other senses. This year, for the third
time, the Grand Army held Its en
campment in Boston. The city was
decorated, of course, and unusually
crowded. There were blue uniforms
and black soft hats everywhere. The
same white-haired men marched in
the parade, a little sttffer in the knees
and somewhat fewer In number, and
they were cheered from end to end of
the route. But there was nothing new
about any of these things. Yet the
encampment as a whole did produce
It always produces something new
and fresh: a rebirth of patriotism, a
acknowledgment of the debt due to
these men, a new perception of what
the war cost them. No one can watch
the parade of the veterans without
seeing that the vast majority of those
In line are men In moderate circum
stances. They consider themselves
fortunate Indeed that the are able to
be present at all. Thousands of their
old comrades, they will tell you, could
not come because of the expense. Here
Is the new lesson which tne encamp
ment teaches, or the old lesson which
It constantly repeats the lifelong sac
rifice of the men who fought and
lived, as well as the short but com
plete sacrifice of those who died. The
war ruined the chances of financial
success for tens of thousands of sol
diers, who, if they had been more
selfish and less patriotic, would be
richer to-day in the goods of this
world; but how infinitely poorer both
they and we should be In things which
wealth cannot measure or money buy!
Born unto trouble, there rests a babe
in the royal palace of Russia for whom
go out the rejoicings of a great na
tion. The accident of birth has given
an heir to the throne of the Roman
offs. From a man of melancholy, it
is announced that the Czar has ad
vanced to cheerfulness, and In the ad
vent of his son. the Russian natlou.
always siiperstltlous, sees an augury
of wondrous things. Analysis of con
ditions In Russia previous to the great
event which, barring death, has settled
the Romanoff succession, will show
why so much depends upon this little
boy. The four daughters born to the
Czar are mere nonentities, though
Nicholas had it In his power to repeal
the salic law and make them eligible
to the throne. Just as Isabella was
made eligible to the Spanish throne by
her father, Ferdinand VII. But the
Russians are set against "petticoat
rule," regardless of the fact that uut
little more than a century ago Cather
ine II. ruled so strenuously that she
figures in Russian history as the great
est monarch since the days of Peter
the Great This thtnur alone has turned
the people against the Czarina, who
four times has disappointed them by
giving them what court circles call n
"makeshift" instead of a ruler. It has
even been said that she was to be di
vorced, "for state reasons" much after
the order of the "state reasons" which
parted Napoleon and Josephine. The
person who bore the title of Czarevitch
In the absence of a direct heir of the
Czar is the uncle of Nicholas, the
Grand Duke Michael, than who;ji
there Is no more unpopular person in
the whole Russian Empire. The con
tempt the Grand Duke holds for his
nephew has never been hidden, and
loyal Russians have resented it even
more than the Czar himself. It Is not
difficult to see, therefore, how the na
tion regards the birth of the new
Romanoff as a pleasant omen for Rus
sia and an augury of better days. For
it has given them back the Czarind,
who at heart Is really loved, and ha
relieved them of the ruling presence
of the Grand Duke Michael, whose
ascent of the throne would be regard
ed as a national calamity.
CHARLES E. SHIVELY.
The new Supreme Chancellor of tha
Knights of Pythias. He has been a
member of the order since 1873, and
resides at Richmond, Ind.
A man never realizes how high a
fence he can Jump until he is badly
scared.
OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS
Still a Nation of farmer..
HE recently published census report on "gain-
& 4 Iful pursuits" In the United
1 1 dtscusslou of the possible
Tom agriculture. Have we
nation of fanners,' and are
on growing at the expense of
We do not need the poet to tell us
country, and that man made the town.
furnish us dally with evidences that they are man made
lu situations, ami that In the making of most of them man
did a very bungling Jib. That tile wealth of the country
comes from the soil, and that our national prosperity rests
upon agriculture are propositions ao self evident as to re
quire no demonstration by expert economists. The truth
of these propositions will be generally nwgulzed, no mat
ter what the census figures may say.
The census report on occupations would Indicate to the
superficial thinker that agriculture has ceased to Ih the
leading Industry of our people. The table showing the pro
portion engaged In the five principal classes of occupation
In 1SS0 and 11VH Is as follows:
Agricultural pursuits
Professional
Domestic and personal
Trade and transportation
Manufacturing
The table Indicates a decline In the relative Importance
of agriculture among the gainful pursuits. It shows a de
crease of D..V) per cent In the proportion of persons en
gaged In agriculture since ISSo and an Increase of 0.4d In
the proportion engaged In commerce and manufacturing.
But those who are Inclined to grow pessimistic over the
threatened "extinction" of agriculture will need to go deeper
Into the figures. It Is found that the number of persons ac
tually engaged In agriculture Increased between 1SNO and
1900 from 7.714.000 to 10.SS2.000. It Is to be rememlvered
also that this number Is likely to keep on Increasing for
many years, not only through the opening of irrigable pub
lic lands to homesteaders, but because of the drift toward
smaller farms and more Intensive farming. The scientific
agriculturist of the future will get more out of a fifty-acre
tract than the old -time "farmer" got out of a quarter sec
tion. Springfield Republican.
Success in Life.
ITCESS In life Is relative. To no two minds
does it mean the same. To no two conditions
does can it be alike applicable. The success
of the farmer, for Instance, who adds to his
lands, rears his family in righteousness and
passes his days In peace and content, far from
the turmoil and triumphs of more swiftly mov
s
ing life, would not seem to the lawyer,
city merchant to be a success at all.
The crossroads storekeeper may be
his own estimation and that of his neighborhood, though
his brother of the city, who thinks in millions, cannot help
looking down upon him with scorn.
There can be no material standard
reason that the outlook, the aspiration
of any man are his alone. No two can occupy the same
viewpoint. No two can regard success from the same mind
and heart
The school-teacher, who ever gives,
figure In a biographical dictionary beside the millionaire,
who ever gets. But In the real building up of the Intellect
and morality and happiness of the world
the giant and be the pigmy.
The poor underpaid preacher whose congregation Is
small because he preaches religion undented may In the
common estimate be a failure. But who can foretell the
harvest to come from the pregnant seed thus sown In good
ground? Another generation may see
arise, that some rich man puts a gorgeous window In and
calls his monument.
Which Is the more successful life
a great window or the one that stimulates
makes a church?
Possibly nine-tenths of us have no
Htm44444H4m4mm
$ 4
GRANDMOTHER'S CLOCKS.
Long before the Western express
had come within whistling distance of
the Summervllle station Uncle Charles
declared he could hear the bells of
grandmother's clocks. "Haven't heard
'em since I was a boy," he said, "but
1 know how they'll sound all golntf
together and every one of 'era right.
I tell you, Lettle, you ought to have
mother's sense of time. You can't even
keep our mantel clock straight. Why,
mother has a hall clock seven feet
high and over a century old. Thea
there's the 'banjo' clock In the dining
room, and the 'sun' in the kitchen we
call in the 'sun' because of aground
hole In the door-picture to see the pen
dulum through. There are three or
four others besides, and the way
mother keeps them straight is a mar
vel. It must be the old wooden wheels.
Nothing like them made nowadays!"
Half an hour later grandmother
greeted her home-coming flock at the
door of the neat white farmhouse, and
sent them to their rooms to prepare
for a waiting dinner.
"Hello:" said Uncle Charles, as be
followed Aunt Lettle Into the east
chamber. "There's Uncle Hiram
Doty's old 'bullfrog' clock. Has a
voice like a frog when It's getting
ready to strike."
Mechanically he pulled out his watch
and consulted It, then glanced again
at the clock. He hesitated, then with
out comment stepped forward and set
the clock half an hour ahead. Aunt
Lettle smiled, but said nothing.
"A little later, entering the kitchen,
he beheld the "sun" ticking merrily in
its accustomed place. Uncle Charles
compared It with his watch. Grand
mother was out of the room. Stealthily
he opened the clock door and moved
the hands back twenty minutes.'
Dinner had hardly begun when from
east chamber and kitchen came simul
taneous wheezing and banging of
bells. The "sun" counted ix and
stopped. The "bullfrog" did better
and made it thirteen. Grandmother
pose la life than to get the best living wt can. Wt are
absorbed In our own little affaire our wants and our en
joyments, ailments and ease. Jealousies and envlea, and
hatreds and love. The greater the degree to which we sat
isfy our wauu aud triumphs over our ruetulca the greater
our success we think.
But to gratify our wants Is only to create new ones.
Human longing Is like a sea the more we pour Into It
the more It spreads. The millionaire longs for more as
eagerly as does the poor man. Content does not He lu the
direction of acquisition or Indulgence.
Success In life consists In fitting one's self to one's en
vlronment, and one thing more elevating the environ
ment. Chicago Journal.
States has evoked
social and political
ceased to be a
the cities to keep
the rural districts?
that God made the
The larger cities
1SS).
4.Vjy
3.4H
20.00
10.0S
'.'1.17
l'XK).
8.V7D
4.30
11V20
10.30
24.41
the politician or the
a success In life In
of success, for the
and the attainment
may cut a sorry
it Is she who Is
mighty church
the one that builds
the spirit which
other serlons pur
looked up In alarm and gazed at the
"banjo-clock" before her. It was, so
Uncle Charles discovered, an hour
and a half fast That alarmed her
still more.
"Charles," said grandmother, se
verely, "have you been settln' ray
clocks?"
"Why, yes, mother. I fixed the
'mn' and the 'bullfrog.' They seemed
a little off."
"Well, mercy sales! How ever
shall I tell the time now?"
"By them, of course. They're right
now."
"Yes, but they won't be to-morrow.
You see, Lettie" (this apologetically to
her daughter-in-law), "they're all
clocks that Just won't go right I
know about how much each gains or
loses In a day, so when I hear one
strike I can tell about what time it
is. For Instance, this morning when
the big hall clock struck three, I knew
the band said quarter to eight The
'banjo' Is an hour slower, so It said
quarter to seven, and would strike ten
In fifteen minutes. When that struck
ten the 'sun' would say ten minutes
to six, and would be almost ready to
strike twelve. The 'sun' is fifty min
utes ahead of the 'bullfrog,' which
said quarter to five, and in twenty
minutes would strike three, and that
Is twenty-five minutes behind Sarah
Pettlt's alarm-clock with the brass
works that she set by the town clock
last week, and Isn't more than five
minutes out; so it was about quarter
after five and time to get up."
She looked at Uncle Charles re
proachfully. "I do declare, Charles."
she said, "you've gone and mixed me
up so now I d'now's I ever shall get
It figured out again." Youth's Com
panion. CURIOUS 8NUFF BOXES
They Were Made in Manx Cases to
Bait Fancies of Users.
In the days when a snuff box was
considered a necessary attribute to the
perquisites of a beauor a belle, for
that matter much Ingenuity was
brought to bear upon the manufacture
of these dainty trifles. ,
The reaulta were often very novel,
s.
mm
Barbarous Waste In War.
OMK International pact should be achieved that
will compel respect for ships aud good us ob
jects of economic value in the whole world's
rating, whether subject to seizure ns contra
hand of war or otherwise. The Russian are
warranted lu arresting those trading steamers
that are carrying supplies to their enemies.
but neither they nor any other people are Justified In do.
stroking what the world needs as food, as fuel, as clothing,
as medicine, and especially as ships. To empty a ship of
Its freight and then send her to the bottom, or, worse still,
to send her down with her cargo, Is barbarous. The con I
supply Is growing short. Not a ton of It should be wasted.
If It Is ueccssury to prevent Its falling Into the hands of
the Japanese, let It be landed and sold to the highest bid
der of a neutral nation, provided that circumstances pre
vent the captors from using It to their owu advautage.
And the same with the captured ship. This Is a Work
of skill and value, and la needed In facilitating the com
merce of all countries. If It has made Itself liable to scls
ure by trading In forbidden supplies, there is no reason
why it should thereforo be destroyed. It carries no fight
ing machinery, it Is not a danger to the war fleet of the
nation that makes the arrest. It may be carrying merely
a few tons of contraband articles, aud a deckful of sup
plies intended for neutrals or for people engaged In peace
ful pursuits, ami In such a case It Is a wanton waste to
Ink It If. Indeed, It Is not a defiance of International law.
Powder and arms might be used by the captors, or might
even be throwu overboard If there were no time to take
them or room to stow them: but not the textiles, fruit,
meat and manufactured products that nations exchange
with one another. Warships are fair prey. They are to be
sunk by the enemy whenever possible, or converted to the
uses of the winning side, but to scuttle a nillllon-dollar
ship because of the accident of her trade la to commit a
crime against all humanity, whose needs that ahlp Is ca
pable of serving. Brooklyn Eagle.
The Marrying Age.
HE dictum of Gov. Wartleld thai girls should
& u I not marry until Utey are twenty-six has nat
I lurally caused considerable discussion among
Ifhiiuo nimr int nfAutiw1t)ilk frlrla t hntnttnlvnii
IMWdl. Ml.'Vk ...... .... ......
their parents, and the young men who do not
waut to wait for a bride until she Is verging on
old-maldhood. The first question of Interest Is
a matter of fact: Are our girls generally marrying at too
early an age? Some light Is thrown on this matter by City
Registrar McGlenan, of Boston. In the Globe of that city.
He shows that In the year 1002, out of 0,172 brides, only
120, or a little more than 2 per cent, were less than eighteen.
While more then half the total numlter were under twenty
five, "yet 4,180, more than two-thirds of the whole num
ber of brides, wero married between the ages of twenty and
twenty-nine." '
These figures, the Registrar thinks, "do not Indicate that
all girls are marrying at an abnormally early age." Other
writers on the subject testify that marriage Is entered Into
by both sexes at a later average age than in former gen
erations in this country. There are many reasons for this.
The growing independence of women, the more extensive
fields for their employment the Importance given to edu
cation, operate to defer marriage, as the Increased cost of
the wedded state deters many young men until they ran
"afford it." New York World.
and even Uie most captious and exact
ing snufftaker found something suited
to bis wants. Those with a taste fur
the morbid could buy boxes made from
the wood of scaffolds, chairs that mur
derers had sat upon or parts of their
houses. Sporting men could find pleas
ure In the little miniatures depicting
scenes in the chase. Sailors had their
boxes made from the timbers of some
historical ship the hull of the Royal
George waa turned to this purpose
more than once.
Soldiers bad battle scene In minia
ture upon their boxes, and these were
often executed with the finest work
manship and great attention waa given
to detail.
The Scotch, always great muff tak
ers, were very fond of manufacturing
their snuff boxes from a crumpled
horn. The end of the horn waa hol
lowed out to hold the anuff and a little
mallet was attached by which to tap
the snuff from the sides if It adhered,
Sometimes a brush was added to flick
away particles from the nose. The
ordinary Scotchman had a plain mall
snuff box, but those belonging to the
lairds were often embossed with silver
mountings and precious stones, making
them valuable as well as picturesque,
One of the most popular and well
known snuff boxes was that given to
Napoleon by Pope Plus VI. When Na
poleon died he left the box as a keep
sake to Lady Holland, who had been
very kind to him during his Imprison
ment on St. Helena. Lord Carlisle, who
urged the lady to reject the gift, sug
gested that every time the box was
opened horror and murder would leap
out. The box was bequeathed by Lady
Holland at her death to the museum.
London Dally Mail.
No Increase In the Laundry DHL
Housekeeper Half the thinga you
wash are torn to pieces.
Washerwoman Yes, mum; but
when a thing is torn In two or more
pieces, mum, I count them as only one
piece, mum. New York Weekly.
Was there ever a boy who dldn
have to carry somebody's dinner down
town?
JUDICIAL DECISIONS
A withdrawal of an action for di
vorce, brought by a wife, la held. In
Oppenhctmcr vs. Collins (Wis ), W U
It. A. 40d, not to be sufficient to sup
port a conveyance by the husband t
the wife of his Interest In bis father's
estate as agalust the claims of his cred
itors. An occupier of land who undertake
to bum rubbish thereon Is held, lit
Paulino vs. McKcndall (It 1). 00 L. It.
A. 1W, to be under no obligation to
guard children of tender years, who
are In the habit of resorting there to
play, from Injury by approaching the
fire.
Physical Injury or disease resulting
from fright or nervous shock caused
by ucgltgcut acts, where such result
might with reasonable certainty have
Ihhmi anticipated or the negligence wis
gross. Is held. In Watklus vs. Kaolin
Manufacturing Company (N. ('.), M I..
U. A. 017. to give a right of action for
la lunges.
A license to sell Intoxicating liquor
Is held. In Wallace vs. Kemi (Nevl.
I.. It. A., to confer no vested right up
on the licensee, and to be rcvis-ablo
before the expiration of the time fr
which It has been granted, by act of
the Legislature, or by municipal' oil!
ccrs acting under statutory authority.
with or without iioth-e to the licensee.
An attempt to board a train of cars
running at eight or ten tulles an hour
by a young, strong aud active iiimii.
wltli experience as n "traveling man"
In hoarding and alighting from moving
cars, Is held. In Small vs. Traveler
Protective Asso. Ga.). 03 I It. A. .Mo.
to be au exposure to "obvious risk of
Injury" within the meaning of an acci
dent Insurance ltcy.
A mortgage executed In Ute mime of
a third person ou chattels not yet ac
quired by (lie mortgagor, which doe
not purport to cover after-acquired
property, Is held. In New Kuglniid Na
tional Hank vs. Northwestern Nntloiial
Bank (Mo), 00 I 11. A. 2TU, not to
bind such property as against a mort
gage to another person executed by the
mortgagor In bis own name after th
property has come Into his possession.
A foreman of a bridge construction
gang Is held, In Southern Indiana Rail
way Company vs. Harrell (Ind). ca
!. It. A. 4U. not to represent the inns
ter In directing, at a time when a train
Is passing, the raising by a derrick, so.
constructed as to swing toward the
track, of a stone to be placed In n
pier of a railroad bridge, the effect of
which Is that the stone swings ngalnst
the train and Is forced against un em
ploye, to his Injury.
Krectlng In or beside a highway a
crane for delivering mull to pasMlng
trains, which, when the mall bag Is
strung uton It Is calculated to frighten
horses or ordinary gentleness, Is held.
In Cleghorn vs. Western Railway of
Alabama (Ala.), (10 L. It. A. 2H!l, to be
negligence which will render the rail
road company liable to one who Is In
jured by the frightening of his horse
thereby, although the bag Is actually
placed in position by government em
ployes. DANCINQ DOOMED IN LONDON.
Man's Interest In the Hall Koom Habl
to lie Dci'lInliiK.
The matrons of Belgravla nnd May
fair are said to bo deeply concerned
at the decline of Interest In dancing
among young men. It Is even rumored
that they are driven to the dire neces
sity of engaging professional dancers.
presentable men from "Blankney's" or
some other universal provider, who
will help at a ball ami go meekly
home with the hired plants In the
morning.
The war In South Africa undoubted
ly led to a decline In the graceful art.
for the men were away lighting aud
the women stayed at home to think
and weep. It Is not Inconceivable that
with the return of peace men who
had been accustomed to nn active,
stirring life on the "Illimitable veldt"
were dslnclliied for the easy dalliance
of the ballroom. That Is the sugges
tion, but Is Is discountenanced by
such an experienced teacher of dan
cing as Miss Vincent, of St Juinen
street
"Nonsense!" she said, emphatically;
"dancing is not on the decline among
the people of Belgravla and Mayfalr.
I don't know what It may be In the
counties, but I understand that a con
slderable number of house parties aro
being given, and dancing Is Just an
fashionable as ever. High-class ball
room dancing among society people U
certainly not doomed."
Another proof Is that ladles, In In
creasing numbers, aro seeking to
qualify as teachers of dancing. If the
dismal prophecies of decadence wero
Justified their occupation would bo
gone, instead of which It Is n flourish
ing and profitable profession. There
is, therefore, no foundation for the
statement that West lind hostesses,
especially those with marriageable
daughters, are' lamenting the dearth of
those opportunities for effecting mnt
rlmonlal alliance which a ballroom af
fords: Neither the aftermath of tho
war nor the craze for nniateur theatri
cals hns affected the passion for dan
cing. London Chronicle.
Better Thun Medicine.
"Did you tell my wife that I had
made my will and left all my property
to her?" asked the sick man.
"I did," replied the lawyer.
"What did she say?" queried the in
valid. "Oh," answered his legal adviser,
"she glanced In the mirror aud asked
If I thought she would look well In
black." '
And that Is why the undertaker lost
0 Jub.