Merry Christmas
from Gram and Cramp
Grandparents seem to specialize
In gifts no parent ever buys.
That's how I know when Christmas
comes
That Norm will get a set of drums;
Young Jim a monkey, genus rhesus;
Pete a puzzle, thousand pieces,
And Andy will receive a stock
Of teen-age records, roll and rock.
Oh, yes, the grandfolk really dote.
What'U they get for me? My goat!
Hetty Billipp
.iv
0 j
Quips and Quotes
A young lady was vacationing in Florida
and sunning herself on the beach when a
little boy in a swimsuit approached.
"Lady," he said, "do you believe in God?"
The girl nodded, a little surprised.
"And do you always go to church
on Sunday?"
"Yes, I do," she said, getting more and
more interested.
"And read the Bible?"
"Every opportunity."
The boy was noticeably relieved and
said, "Then will you hold my quarter while
I go in for a swim?" James Shurluck
Then there was the fellow who com
plained: "My wife is on the telephone H
hours a day wish the phone company
would come and remove her."
Gloria Biers
Those Toys
"To Be Assembled"
Each Christmas Eve I view a scene
That really wrenches my heart:
It's Dad putting toys together
While he slowly falls apart.
Lucy Lolli Rankin
At the age of 35, he was still very much
of a mamma's boy. He had never married
because he feared it would offend his moth
er. But at a party he met a girl he couldn't
resist, and they eloped. He insisted, how
ever, that they keep the marriage a secret
from Mamma, and for a year they saw
each other only on weekends. At last his
wife would have no more of it and insisted
that she take her rightful place.
Finally the husband went to his mother
and said, "I must tell you that Alice and
I have been married a year. We hope that
we have your blessing."
There was only an icy silence.
Anxiously, he pleaded: "Please, say
something, Mother."
"Fine thing," she snapped. "You and
Alice married a whole year and me still
doing your shirts!" F. G. Kernan
Family Wrelclv. Drrrmbrr 22. 196
"Why don't they
make a cold tablet
Donald can take?"
mi
Donald John Eckles, ago 6,
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found a new way to help.
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"And they were. With Cold
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"Now, at the first sign of a
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Fletcher's Cold-tabs help re-
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chew them. Now at drug coun
ters everywhere.
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