Quips and Quotes
III V . -
Quick Trick
Read faal, my son, read fast, read fast,
Not just for what can be amassed;
Another reason comes to mind:
Those kids who are to speed inclined
Get through the comic book before
The druggist shoves them out the door.
Dick Emmont
A freshman coed urrote her father an
urgent letter imploring him to tend money
for a pair of contact lenses. "I simply
must have them, Daddy," she wrote.
"When I wear glasses on the campus, the
boys don't whistle. When I don't wear
them, I can't see who whistled."
antes Shurluck
Definitions of tha
Scientific Housewife
Space exploration, I tell myself .
In one of my ad lib explanations,
Is looking for space on a closet shelf
To stuff in the Christmas decorations.
Buoyancy: that's what a teen-age girl
Feels for the lads on the football team.
A mkrowave'B the amount of curl
Left in my hair by the kitchen steam.
Fallout's the stuff from a small boy's
pockets.
And as I see it, there's no denying
A payload has little to do with rockets;
It's the monthly price of installment
buying !
Georgie Starbuck Galbraith
A guide was taking a grade-school class
on a tour of the Capitol in Washington,
D.C. When they got to Statuary Hall, the
guide explained: "Each state may place
statues of two heroes here. However, nine
states have placed only one statue, and
three have placed none. Now, quick tell
me how many statues are here."
"Eighty-five," said one of the little boys
immediately.
"Wonderful," the guide said. "How did
you calculate that so fast?"
"I was here yesterday, too," he said.
Gloria Beers
In a Lather
My teen-age son has had a shower.
He stayed in there, I think, an hour.
But now he's out, and I at last
Can take a thower. Mine is fast.
I do not linger like my son,
I'm in and out and quickly done.
Yes, in I step and out I trot:
My son has used up all the hot.
Richard Armour
"Let me apologize again about the guest room being all torn up.'
family Weekly. NoMmtwr 10. 1K1 15
"They Told Me I Was
'Just Getting Old'. . .
Then SARAKA Brought Normal Regularity."
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DOES
G
ETTING
Up Nights
MAKE YOU FEEL OLD
After 36, common Kidney or Bladder Ir
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More Comfort Wearing
FALSE TEETH
Here Is pleasant way to overcome
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an Unproved powder, sprinkled on
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ARTHRITIS
PAINS
Take fast-acting DOLCIN Tablets for
moderate pains of Arthritis, Rheu
matism or Muscular Aches whenever
they occur. Follow directions. You
must gel welcome relief or your
money back.
Quick facts about
U. S. Savings Bonds
You get $4 for every $3 at
maturity
You can get your money
anytime
Your Bonds are replaced
free if lost, destroyed, or
stolen
Shrinks Hemorrhoids
New Way
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STOPS ITCH RELIEVES PAIN
For the first time science has found
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In case after case, while gently
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Host amazing of all results were
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The secret is a new healing sub
stance (Bio-Dyne) -discovery of
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This substance is now available
in suppository or ointment form
under the name Preparation H.
Ask for it at all drug counters.
HURT?
Cat TMs CasMwriai rest PMst
Ts MgM Stat, tkaps Far Fact MM I
IXTM MHTECT104 IHEJKK RET MUST I
Whaorivai cfoch or rub, euahfcm tot with
Dr. Scholia Kurotax foot plaatar. Thickar,
aorW, mcra protactiv thaa ordinary mola
wkiu ywL onata ao mora. Bap to cut to
aaa. Fiat ntiaf far an, eaUooaaa, tandar
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fBsnimnimnMM
EverrZlt Family
Reading in Weekly
Expecting.
Keep your tiM, dry shin soft and
smooth with Moma nam. Neglect
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This famous tain conditioner Is etpeci
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fort of that stretched feeling in your
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)
RELAX
WITH A!
MOTHERS
mnuit can ba smttilni lot TrTTO'aVTTV5
that numblm In !. and back. ft KJ fj JM 1J
fan. Taka can al aur hodV 1 T.S "
MASSAGE
too. Take care of your body
skin with HoniEas ntrara.
You'll never regret It. At drug
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a product of S.S.S. C0MPANY-A1 LAN T A