r .A-
THE Truth About Lying
I - y
Psychologists say the average person
telis more than 1,000 lies a year but
it's stiil within a parent's power to
raise a reasonably truthful child
By STANLEY S. JACOBS
Ever since eve, people have been
prone to telling lies. But only in
recent years have psychiatrists, psy
chologists, and physiologists teamed up
to learn what makes a liar tick.
One researcher. Professor Byrne J. Horton of
DePaul University, operated a "Liars' Clinic" to
learn just how honest we are. He asked 5,000
students this question: "Pretend you have a rich
uncle who sends you fine presents and gifts of
cash. One day he gives, you a painting which you
detest and then asks, 'How do you like it?'
Would you tell him the truth t"
Fifty-three percent of the students said they
would tell the truth. But 33 percent admitted they
would lie about liking the gift, and 14 percent
were evasive, declaring they would duck the ques
tion or be noncommittal. Thus, almost half would
ignore or alter the truth to remain on good terms
with the rich relative. And most of these saw
nothing morally wrong with telling "white lies" !
In real-life situations, attitudes are much the
same. Psychologists say the average person tells
three lies a day or more than 1,000 a year!
But the tendency to lie varies greatly from
person to person. High on the list of generally
truthful people are scientists, laboratory workers,
architects, and engineers individuals who work
with precise measurements in which a millimeter
can't be evaded, stretched, or denied. On the other
hand, actors, politicians, press agents, artists,
sculptors, authors, and musicians rate consider
ably lower, due, no doubt, to their heightened
imaginations.
Professional- criminals are in a class by them
selves. A truthful hoodlum is almost a contra
diction in terms because many of them are psy
chotic, and inveterate lying is a symptom of their
mental aberrations. Fortunately, pathological ly
ing (pseudologia phantastica) is rare among law-
abiding folks. Only extensive psychiatric treat
ment can help the pathological liar.
Telling a lie involves real work for the body.
Your metabolism, pulse rate, blood pressure, and
respiration speed up when you fib and your eyes
do tend to get shifty. In an experiment conducted
by Dr. F. K. Berrien of Colgate University, an
cpthalmograph was used to photograph eye move
ments as students replied to certain questions. In
most instances, those who lied could not keep their
gaze fixed on the questioner's face.
Emotional health plays a big role in the tend
ency to lie. Psychiatrists at the University of
Leyden in Holland found that more than 80 per
cent of their patients who conceded that lying
was a problem proved to be nervous, high-strung,
and irritable. "Their untruthful responses pri
marily were a symptom of hidden emotional ill
ness," the researchers said.
One man hated his clerk's job but wouldn't
admit it, even to himself. He found self-esteem
in lying about grandiose business successes. And
a dour middle-aged woman who persistently lied
to her children about alleged shortcomings of
their father admitted she was jealous of the man
he was 12 years younger than she and quite
personable.
As you might suspect, children are the most
J. frequent fibbers. But before the age of five
a child cannot really lie; his whoppers are by
products of creative, unbridled imagination. It
is at the 5- to 10-year stage that unchecked lying
may harden into a behavior pattern which has
life-long bad effects.
Fortunately, you have it in your power to keep
lying at a minimum in your children. Researchers
at Columbia University studied 5,000 children
for five years and found that the single most
powerful incentive to truth-telling is a home in
which all family members speak their minds
even if it hurts!
Dr. Elizabeth B. Hurlock, past president of the
American Psychological Association's division on
the teaching of psychology, has some additional
suggestions for helping children become reason
ably truthful adults:
1. If a child lies, make sure you know why. To
him, the reasons for lying may be overwhelming.
2. Avoid such old-fashioned "cures" as washing
out the mouth with soap or applying the hickory
switch. These don't correct fibbing.
3. Don't invoke God's name by saying such
things as, "God knows you lie and will punish
you." A terror of God as prosecutor, judge, and
jailer may result.
4. Help your child understand his own imagina
tion, and he will learn to control it You know he
didn't really see a dragon; the trick is to get him
to admit its nonexistence to himself.
5. If you commit mistakes, admit them to your
family. Too many children lie to cover up errors.
When they realize that Mom and Pop can err,
too, the incentive to fib is diminished.
COVER:
Actress Mitzi Gaynor dons an eye-stopping,
burnt-gold turtle-neck blouse over a slim
chocolate-brotvn skirt. They're part of her
new travel wardrobe, all available in pat
terns on p. S. Photo by John Engstead.
Family
Weekly
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October 27, IMJ
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