MEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFORD. OREGON
MONDAY. OCTOBER 21, 1963
A 5
y and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF-
L'UDV HACKKTT tells of a morning in Las Vegas when
he erucicd a drug stoic to buy a packet of aspirin. The
druggist, a true La.-, Veguaite, proposed, "I'll match you
double or nuihing.
Kackctt lost the toss and
vent out with two head-tchei.
DOUftLC OA
At least some of Amer
ica's juvenile delinquents
);ave brushed up on rhil
csonhy. Here's h ki;cnd
that one of thorn chalked
ip on the wall of the Times
pquare subway s'.Rtion:
'Schopenhauer is a finkl"
i
After a long editorial
conference, a book publish
er in our town took one of
Jiis most productive and thirstiest authors for ft spot of re
Jivshment in a neighboring" bistro. No sooner had they seated
themselves than a waiter set down a tray nearby with twenty
martinis on it.
The publisher and the authGi gratefully imbibed ten martinis
npicc. Then they discovered that the tray was intended for a
fatty of twenty in the next room.
C 1063, by Bennett Ccif. Distributed by King Features Syndicate
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Your Money's
Worth
By SYLVIA PORTER
Cpyrifkr, Hall Syntfican, Inc.
St'tt'fcSS APPARENT lbs success scorns apparent as Brit
ain s Lord Home leaves No. 10 Downing st. in London to re
port to Queen Elizabeth that he is able to form a new govern
rient. He was named Prime Minister to succeed Harold Mac
millan, who resigned. (LTD.
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THAUING WITH ItLSSIA
Strictly from the viewpoint of jobs, paychecks, profits and
our dollar, any significant increase in our trade with the Soviet
bloc could only be a big, bright plus for all of us.
You may have plenty of reservations on other grounds about
raising our trade with the USSR and its satellites. The risks
in the spheres of national defense and politics (domestic and
international) are obvious. But you cannot downgrade the im
pressive gains to us in the economic-financial sphere. To be
specific, the increase trade would:
(1) Directly create jobs, paychecks and profits throughout
the country. Trade is trade and any rise in our exports to any
country willing to buy and able to pay has this stimulating im
pact. (2) Ease our tax burden. We are spending huge amounts
to store our commodity surpluses and support farm prices. As
our surpluses were sold, our storage costs would decline and
the effect of the sales on farm prices well might eventually cut
the costs of our farm price support program too. The estimate
is that this one wheat sale to Russia will save us, as taxpayers,
about S225 million in storage and allied costs during this fiscal
year.
(3) Reduce the federal budget deficit. As the funds from
sales of surplus commodities came back to the Treasury', the
budget would get a windfall. The wheat sale will illustrate this.
(4) Help stem the drain on our precious gold reserve and
thus safeguard the dollar. Russia is paying and would pay us
for her purchases in dollars. Thus contributing to closing the
gap between what we spend abroad and what we earn abroad.
Any factor narrowing the deficit in our balance of payments bol
sters the dollar.
(5) Strengthen the currencies and trade positions of the
Western world in general by adding to the West's supply of
gold the basis for all major currencies and the foundation
for trade. Russia already has sold major quantities of gold in
the West to get dollars to pay for wheat.
(6) Open new markets (or our goods at a time of intensify
ing trade competition between us and the Common Market.
There's a ceiling on what we could sell to the Soviet bloc, for
there's not much we want to buy in return and sustained trade
must be a two-way affair. But even the near-term potentials for
sales of our goods to the East are spectacular.
The giant wheat sale to the USSR has at last forced the
issue nf blast-West trade into American homes which is
fine. For far loo long, (he hard facts about the extent to
which Western Europe has been expanding its trade with
the Soviets while the United States has been the oulsider-looking-in
have been buried by eniotiun and politics.
The key hard fact is that while we have been pursuing the
equivalent of a next-to-nothing trade policy with the Soviets,
our allies have been vigorously bootsing their sales to these
areas. Whatever the virtues of our tough trade policy, the truth
is that, as one of the nation's top experts on Russian trade put
it in an interview,
"We are not depriving Russia of anything by not selling to
her, for what we won't sell, the Russians can readily get in
Europe. What we have been doing is depriving U.S. businessmen
of tremendous sales while businessmen elsewhere have been
moving in." Here's the evidence.
Ilcm: In 1962. Western Europe sold the Soviet bloc $2.1 bil
lion of goods against our sales of $123 million. To Russia alone,
we sold a picavune $15 million in the entire year. Most of the
rest almost $95 million was in sales of surplus farm com
modities to Poland.
Item: In the area of machinery and transport equipment
the richest potential market for trade with the Soviets wc
sold only $7.6 million in 1962, one-hundredth or Western Eu
rope's exports of $756 million.'
Item: While Western Europe's sales to Eastern Europe have
jumped 21 per cent since 1960, United States sales to Eastern
Europe actually have shrunk 35 per cent. While our total sales
of manufactured goods to the Soviet bloc were a scant $11.2 mil
lion last year. Western Europe's sales of manufactured goods
were $1.5 billion.
For many reasons, we may continue our embargoes on ex
ports which the Soviets easily can get from our friends. But if
so, we will be, in the words of the conservative Journal of Com
merce, "Just biting our nose off to spite our face."
BY T5ICK WC5T
Mme. Nhu's Dance
Ban Has Support
Coast Areas on Tidal Wave Alert
SAN FRANCISCO (UPD-For
the second weekend in a row,
an earthquake near Japan put
the Hawaiian Islands and the
California coast on a tidal wave
lert.
And, for the second weekend
'rJ
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and LOAN ASSOCIATION
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Welcome the United Crwad Worktr when
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L'niiod Press International i
WASHINGTON tUPI) - In
the past fortnight virtually ev
ery newsman with access to the
public print has had a go at I
South Vict Nam's Madame Nhu. I
There is something about this I
incredible and controversial
lady that is journalistically
challenging. She has the same
effect on newsmen that Mt. Ev
erest has on mountain climbers.
Not being an expert on Asian
affairs, I wouldn't attempt to
weigh the impact of her U. S.
visit on relations between her
country and America.
There is, however, one facet
of her career that I am more
than qualified to appraise. I re
fer to her action in banning
dancing in Viet Nam.
If Madame Nhu feels that
some unkind things have been
written about her, she might
like to know that on this issue i
at least there is one American I
newsman who is with her 100 '
per cent.
Being one of the most dedi
cated non-dancers in the West
ern Hemisphere. I regard her
anti-dancing edict as a boon to
humanity.
"My country is the only coun
try in the world where we nev
er danced," Madame Nhu ex
plained when asked about the
ban. "When we meet, we enjoy
ourselves."
Bravo! Well said! There are
few things on earth more dele
terious to enjoyment than danc
ing. Imagine a land that is free of
the gavot, the minuet, the reel,
the jig. the hornpipe, the cake
walk, the quadrille, the waltz,
the polka, the mazurka, the
scholtische. the two-step and the
in a row, the threatened tidal
wave amounted to little more
than a ripple in the Pacific.
The earthquake struck north
of Japan Saturday night. Civil
defense officials in Hawaii
sounded the alert on all islands
and ordered the evacuation of
all beachfront areas.
But the tidal wave measured
just one foot as it passed Mid
way Island and was even lower
when recorded at Hawaii.
There was no indication of
whether the wave ever reached
the California coast.
fox-trot, not to mention the
highland fling, the rhumba, the
samba, the bossa nova and the
twist.
Imagine a land where a man
can take his wife out to dinner
without first surreptitiously
checking to make certain the
joint doesn't have a dance floor.
Imagine being able to go
home from a party without hav
ing your companion of the
evening berate you for making
her teel like a wallflower.
Imagine never again being in
formed that you have insulted ;
the hostess by not asking her to
dance. I
I'll tell you, chums, if Ma-,
dame Nhu s policy were uni
versally adopted it would elimi
nate the singlcmost sedulous
source of marital friction.
Possibly she deserved some of
the criticism sent her way, but
any woman who takes a stand
against terpsichorcan torture
can't be all bad.
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Vitamin Intoxication
Often Mistaken for
Tumor, Meningitis
By DliLOS SMITH
UPI Science Editor
NEW YORK (UPI) - What
I itching, dry skin, enlargements
of liver and spleen, anemia,
headache and skin rashes.
Thn ai-rtnlnal rnro ttirniwl mil
makes a vitamin A intoxication , to be simpic Snc was deprived
a horror to a physician is that of her vitamin A.
its signs can be confused with i Soler - Bechara and Soscia
those of a brain tumor. And i s aroused they made an
i ...-.i, r oi.,o mnn exhaustive study of what mcdi-
also with those of serious men- , sdence nas earned
ingitis, chronic encephalitis and ( vjtamin a intoxication since the
infectious arthritis to name a 1 first case was reported in 1944.
few without mentioning ncuro- j They reported this study to a
tecnmcai publication ol the
American Medical Association.
There have been only a few
cases of acute intoxication, in
small children and in arctic ex
plorers. The former got huge
single doses of vitamin A from
solicitous mothers; the explor
ers got their huge single doses
by eating the liver of the polar
bear.
Others Chronic Cases
The others were chronic
cases "and these may exist for
years without recognition", they
said. "The present-day sales of
The complaining physicians
were Drs. Joaquin Soler
Bechara and John L. Soscia of
New York's St. Vincent's Hos
pital, and theirs were the latest
scientific voices raised in alarm
at the fabulous rate at which
Americans now dose themselves
with vitamins.
They had just completed a
36 - day hospital study on a
39 - year - old female secretary
who for years had been dosing
herself heavily with vitamin A,
in oArWWnn In mult i nlp.vit amins.
i. .h hnnf it wnniH hnktnr vitamins emphasizes the aware-
her fading energy. One sign of I "ess that must be exerted by
,.;t,in a intnviraiinn it pn. 1 physicians. Drugstore sales of
vuamin prouucis reaenca
vitamin
crgy loss.
Arrav of Signs
Her bewildering array of ma
tal of $250 million in 1WS0."
One good indication is a feel-
jor signs were fatigue, weight 1 able enlargement of liver and
loss, bine and joint pains, bone I ?Pl- , The human liver is
tenderness, loss of body hair. 1 known to store vitamin A but
1 . not at the rate at which the
polar bear liver stores it.
"Using fluorescence micro
scopy, vitamin A can be visual
ized in tissues." they added.
"A striking green flouresccnce
is imparted by this substance to
the lipoids (fats or oils) which
carry it. the degree of floures
ccnce depending on the amount
Zoomsi Auction
Raises $103,204
PORTLAND I L'PI ) - The an.
nual Zoomsi auction at the Hit
,0" 'n,hZe Sa'Urday "ight of vitamin A present.
IdlSVU I i .
Rolph Fuhrman. auction , PPTn
chairman, said about 85.000 PMuOll I CLI 11
will be net profit to be divided Tl4 ,
1 between the Portland zoo and ; 1 noT LOOSen
the Oregon Museum of Science ' Need Not Embarrass
l and Industry. This year's auc- Mlny wetrtrJ 0( , eth h.
lion more than tripled that of uflrrtd reil emharraahmenl hergn
I the first one four years ago.
A home, donated to the
auction this year, brought the
highest bid $34,150 from Mr.
and Mrs. Harry' Koc. Auc
tioning lasted until 2:46 a.m.
Sunday.
th.-lr nlatc dronDfd. llDnfd or ot-
blfd it uit the wrong tlm. Do not
tl-.e In ffar of thu hsppenlnz to you.
J i-t pnnklf Utile r A.4Tt.KTH the
IknlliiF (non-rldl oowor. on your
p.ven Hold !le lth mor firmly,
tney reel more comfortable Doel
not tnir r.'he-k "r'' on'ir" tden.
fire breethi. Or: PASTLL'le) t aay
trti counter.
. ffa
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