'Family Weekly j 'October IS, 1963
Know about the cave
man who discovered women
or how a picture of Tuesday
Weld lured Columbus to America?
Dwell, here's the low-down
from a zany expert
V LSSL
A MANGY LOVER'S
HISTORY
OF
LOVE
By GROUCHO MARX
' -.-a .T-yyw!--?m
Many people write about love without ever having come in contact with it.
But until you have brushed a woman's cheek with your trembling lips and
brushed your shoes with your wife's new guest towel, you know nothing about
love or your wife.
Love is not something you can learn from books, for love is an elusive sprite
that leaps from nook to cranny and taps you with its magic wand, then flits
away like the first hounds of spring. (It's not such a bad piece of writing, that
last sentence. I've seen worse in books that sell for $5. In fact, that's where I
saw this. )
But getting back to love, I want to assure my readers that this history of love
is the real McCoy fearless, and no quarter asked or given. If anyone can prove
that there is a single inaccuracy in one of these pages, I will gladly donate
$5,000 to the Mrs. Groucho Marx Foundation for the Care and Betterment of
Mr. Groucho Marx and, as second prize, 50 to each of the kids.
Be sure to write legibly on only one side of the paper, even if it's only a post
card saying it has been raining every day and that Aunt Molly has had an
other baby.
And now, to begin. Millions of years ago, love ran wild on this daffy globe of
ours. Men were slimy creatures resembling a louse or the fellow your wife
almost married. They were called amoebas until they got money and changed
their name to The First National Bank.
To be frank (and don't think I won't be), there was nothing lovable about
(Continued on page 6)
Eicarptad from " Mein af a Monty loa" by Graacaa Marat pvbllihad by mora' Gait Auoctatati 0 br Graacha Mori.
family WJciy. Oclotwr II, IH1
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