Ltarib
Do
AT three o'clock one morning, my
A parents and I were awakened by
a piercing racket and a man banging
on the door of our London home.
"Delivery for Mr. Alfred Hitchcock," the man
yelled. Sleepily, Daddy opened the door and as
we stared in disbelief, 300 singing canaries were
deposited in our living room. A note attached to
one cage read, "From Peter Lorre."
"Peter's leaving for Hollywood," Daddy ex
plained weakly as a grin flickered across his
usually placid expression. It was possible, he ad
mitted, that we were sitting among a mass of
canaries because he'd sent a tremendous old dray
horse to Loire's hotel room as a farewell present.
My father belongs to that hardy group that
plays practical jokes as a rough and spirited
game. His most prolific joke period came during
the early days of his career. He installed im
mense articles of furniture as Christmas gifts
in small flats of modest colleagues; kidnapped
friends for an evening; gave 400 smoked herring
for a birthday present; threw parties invaded by
actors hired to impersonate strange guests; and
sent anonymous love notes, with fancy gifts, to
married women to infuriate their husbands.
A colleague at a studio in England was one of
the flrst to discover how hard it is to play a joke
back on Daddy. The man brewed a filthy-tasting
concoction, had it bottled as a fine old brandy,
and presented it to my father. Weeks passed with
out a comment Daddy's colleague couldn't stand
the suspense and asked if it had been sampled.
"I didn't want to mention it," Daddy answered,
"but my mother's doctor prescribed brandy and
we gave her yours." Horror-stricken, the man
immediately sent Grandma flowers, with a note of
warning and an apology. Grandma, a healthy old
lady at the time, thought him balmy.
Daddy has a great talent for conversation
games in elevators. A few years ago, we stepped
into a crowded elevator, -and he turned to me and
said, "You know, she married four times, and it
just so happened that she had a child by each
one. Well, all four husbands happened to meet
one day, and do you know what they said?"
This last word was timed precisely to coincide
with our arrival on the ground floor, where
Daddy broke off the conversation and left his
fellow passengers agonizingly frustrated.
Another time, in the St. Regis Hotel elevator
in New York, Daddy said to Joseph Cotten : "Rot
ten luck . . . Didn't know the gun was loaded."
Cotten, in the spirit of the game, asked, "Do
you suppose . . . she's dead?"
Daddy nodded sadly. "Yes. Steady, old man." .
People in the elevator began to stare at them
in horror as Daddy added some gory details.
"Frightful mess, spilling over the rug the way it
did," he said as he slowly mopped his brow. "Made
my shoes stick to the floor coming down the hall,
you know."
At this moment, one lady tapped the elevator
operator on the shoulder and almost screamed:
"I'll get off at the next floor, PLEASE !"
Daddy also is famous for his practical-joke
parties. Once, he invited dozens of guests to a
party in London and told all of them except
one to dress formally. That person was Sir Ger
ald du Maurier (father of Daphne du Maurier,
who wrote the story, The Birds, on which Daddy's
latest movie is based). He was told it was a cos
tume ball. As a result, amidst a roomful of titled
English ladies and gentlemen in long gowns and
black ties, Sir Gerald appeared wearing kilts.
Alfred Hitchcock is as waggish
off screen as on, says an expert
on the subject his daughter
I
Alfred Hitchcock's antics as a
gourmet amuse hit daughter Pat.
By PAT HITCHCOCK
as told to Marya Saunders
Last summer, Daddy threw a lawn party, ar
ranging 40 tables in a large circle, each complete
with place cards. But all the cards bore fictitious
names. When it came time to eat, the guests
couldn't find their places. .As some began to wor
ry that they had not been invited, Daddy ex
plained the gag, and everyone sat down and en
joyed himself.
"If the joke is a proper one," Daddy explains,
"the victim should remain on friendly terms with
the perpetrator."
Daddy's strong belief that a joke should have
no other purpose than humor might have come
from a painful childhood experience. He had done
something naughty and his father, who was some
thing of a practical joker himself, sent him to the
police station with a note. The constable read the
note, laughed, and locked him up. "That's what
we do to naughty boys," he said.
Daddy was so badly frightened that he still is
afraid of policemen. When he flrst came to Amer
ica in 1939, he drove his car around for hours,
fearful of breaking a parking law by mistake and
meeting a policeman. Today, he avoids the issue
by leaving the driving to Mother or me.
In recent years, Daddy's practical joking has
tapered off. "It's just too expensive," he confessed
to me. "The frantic pace of working in tv and
movies leaves no time for games. Instead, I save
the jokes for my shows and films."
Not long ago, on one of his programs, Daddy
turned to the tv camera and said, "Most television
commercials are deadly. They are perfect for my
type of show." The sponsor must have stared at
his tv screen in horror as Daddy added, "The tele
vision set now is like, the toaster in American
homes. You press a button, and the same thing
pops up almost every time."
COVER:
One of the newest summer diversion is
"walking on water" with unsinkable pon
toons made of plastic. Dennis Hallinan
photographed this happy family at play.
Family
Weekly
:
July it. IK
UONAM I. DAV DOW fmid.nl tnd PUMt
WAirft c Dnmn Via Pntum
FATIICX I. OtOUWI Adrrrlinnt Director
MOCTOM RANK Director FnUMcr RJ(inu
Sond mtt odvorHtina comiovnicotiorMj to family Wtoklr.
IS N. Michigan An. CKicogo I, III.
Adorn all t unlaw iiunluo.1 about odltariot foohirot la
Family wthr. aO E. Jam it.. How Tori 12. N. T.
ooord ol Editor! I liNCST V. HiTN EKt.i-Cie .
IN K AIT MAN Eccolicc Editor
OUST rlTlOIHON Nin Editor
milll DYKlTtA Art Director
MEIANII Df nOTT Food Editor
otohtri Abrorora. Ardoci tid.ll.
Jock Irani roor J. Oppo
Hollrwood.
C m. tOCIUINQ ANO 00. INC, I J) n. Midiionn Ato. Chicoaa I, IN. All riafcH roarcrod.