MEDFOHD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFORD. OREGON
Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF-
WfHEN GENERAL PATTOX was in an expansive humor,
he liked to tell a story about a valuable officer under
Napoleon who developed a brain tumor and had to submit
to an ememencv nnp ra
tion. The surgeon, main
tained Patton, unscrewed
the officer's cranium, took
out the brain, and laid it
on the table.
Just then a messenger
arrived with the glad
tidings that .the officer
had been promoted from
Colonel to General. With
a whoop of joy he
bounced up from the op
erating table, slapped on
nis cranium, ana headed b.is
ior me nearest exit
the surgeon. "You've forgotten to put back your brain.'
'T 1 ; '1 i i . i . . .....
- "u.i k uu ii, uuw, cuiea ouus. uie pauenu
General!"
"I'm a
"Golly," sighed a young dreamer, "I wish I had enough money
to buy a herd ot elephants." "What would you do with a. herd'
of elephants?" scoffed a companion. "Not a thing." grinned the
dreamer. "I'd just like to have that much money."
"I'll teU you what a terrible cook my wife Is," grumbled a
merchant to an associate. "The worst news I read in the paper
all year is that they've settled the butchers' strike."
O 1963, by Bennett Cert. Distributed by Kiss Futures Syndicate
Khrushchev Going To East Berlin
Moscow Premier Ni-
kita S. Khrushchev is going
to East Berlin on Sunday to
try to offset whatever encour
; agement West Berlin derives
from President Kennedy's vis
it Wednesday, foreign observ
ers said today.
The official Soviet Agency
Tass took both Russians and
foreigners here by surprise
early this morning with its
announcement of Khrush
chev's week end trip,
f Foreign observers said the
hurriedly scheduled visit was
intended in part to aid East
Germany's Communist boss
Walter Ulbricht, who has been
waiting for years for the
Kremlin to make good on
promises to end Western oc
cupation in Berlin and to sign
Wreck Near Scappoose
Kills 13-Year-Old Boy
I Scappoose -(UPD- A Deer Is
land boy, Rickey Hayes, 13,
was killed Monday afternoon
when the car in which he was
riding ran off a county road
just off U.S. Highway 30 near
Scappoose and hit a bridge
abutment.
a peace treaty with Red-held
East Germany.
The Tass announce m e n t
said Khrushchev officially is
going to East Berlin to ob
serve Ulbricht's 70th birth
day. Khrushchev's presence
undoubtedly will be a wel
come birthday present for Ul
bricht. Observers said that what
Khrushchev has to say in East
Berlin will depend chiefly on
Kennedy's action in West
Berlin.
Parents Warned on
Motor Bike Operation
Salem -(UPD- Parents have
been warned that children
under 16 should not be per
mitted to operate motor bikes
on public streets and roads.
The Department of Motor
Vehicles said that motor bikes
must be operated by a li
censed driver at least 16 years
old. Younger persons with an
instruction permit are specifi
cally excluded from operating
motor scoooters on public
roads.
In the Day's News
By FRANK JENKINS
TUESDAY, JUNE 25. 1163
Down in Phoenix recently,
the governors of our 11 West
ern States, assembled for a
. od-of-the-order session,
were warned that unless they
act soon to "straighten out a
crazy-quilt of traffic laws"
they will face federal incur
sions into that field.
THE warning came from
Robert Montgomery, of
Washington (D.C.), who is ex
ecutive director of the Na
tional Committee on Uniform
Traffic Laws and Ordinances.
He told his hearers:
"Governors, individually
and collectively, must assert
more affirmative leadership
in traffic safety efforts, par
ticularly in the field of uni
form traffic laws. Otherwise,
federal incursions into this
area, which historically and
traditionally is under the
jurisdiction of the states, may
be expected."
He added:
"The governors are trus
tees of the traffic laws. But,
by permitting continuance of
antiquated, NON-UNIFORM
motor vehicle laws, the stales
are stacking the deck in fa
vor of the federal government."
H
MMMMMMMMM.
Is he right?
Or is he wrong?
ONE can't help wondering.
Trafficwise, at least,
this is no longer a govern
ment of 50 states. We travel
far and wide in our cars. Out
here on the Pacific Coast, we
think nothing of taking off
for New York, or Washing
ton, or Florida and our
Eastern cousins take off just
as casually for the Pacific
Coast.
And
One of the everlasting
NUISANCES of such a trip
having to get accustomed to
a new set of traffic laws and
regulations, and a new set of
traffic signs, every time one
crosses a state line.
IT'S hard to escape the con
clusion that if the federal
government wants to expand
its authority thus, inciden
tally, providing more federal
jobs with which to reward
the politically faithful it
could find no more logical
field for it than establishment
of UNIFORM traffic rules
and regulations.
That we would all welcome.
N Western Europe, where
nations are no larger, on
the average, than our states,
they are far ahead of us
especially in the way of uni
form road signs. Perhaps
they have been compelled to
be by the fact that every
time one crosses an interna
tional boundary one is apt to
encounter a new language.
At any rate. Western Eu
rope's road signs are uniform.
They use a picture language.
Information signs are rectan
gular. Warning signs are tri
angular. Regulatory signs
giving specific instructions
are circular. For example: A
circular sign with a figure
in the center means that the
figure is the speed limit.
When the figure has a bar
across it, it means the end of
the speed limit and the begin
ning of another one, which is
announced by the new figure.
A triangle with a picture
of a cow means that a domes
tic animal crossing is ahead.
A triangle with a leaping
deer inside means look out
for deer. And so on. The signs
are UNIFORM. It is an inter
national system.
QO
When someone warns
that unless we get more uni
formity in our STATE traffic
rules and regulations, includ
ing road signs, the federal
government will step in and
take over, let's not get hot
under the collar.
If the federal rules and
regulations are UNIFORM,
they'll be better than what
we have.
Portland Schools
To Study Imbalance
Portland-OJPD-The Portland
School board voted Monday
night to appoint a citizen's
committee to study the city's
racially imbalanced public
schools.
The decision was a victory
for Negro leaders and for
Portland's Citizens' Commit
tee on Racial Imbalance,
which asked the board last
month to see if schools with
an overwhelming Negro ma
jority were hurting the edu
cational opportunities of stu
dents. The committee will be
charged with isolating the
problem, discovering its ef
fect on educational opportuni
ties and suggesting a solution.
It is to report back by Jan. 1
TOTAL PERFORMANCE:
MC?aii'S" iri mm, - -
FORD OALAXIE &GOXL iPOKTS HAHDIOP
IF YOU KNEW WHAT
THIS "CAR KILLER" KN0WS...Y01TD BE DRIVING A SOLID, SILENT SUPER TORQUE FORD
This steel-edged pothole is probably the world's toughest lest
of a car's suspension. We drive into this car killer at 30 mph,
locking our brakes as we go so the wheels can't roll through
the hole as they normally would. The car slams against the tar
edge of the hole with such impact that it literally bounds out.
It you added up the cumulative effect of all the jars and jolts
your car s suspension system enperiencei in years of normal
driving, it wouldn I match the impact of one trip through the hole.
Yet a Ford must run this test three times to prove its strength.
How can a Ford lake it( Because Ford's front suspension has
extra beef m spindles, springs, suspension arms in fact, it s
about 20 pounds heavier than the front suspension of our
principal competitor's car.
We don't eipect you to abuse yowe car the way we do our lest
cars. But however you drive, you'll welcome the extra strength
of a total performance Ford. Fotd strength is tested in a thousand
wavs in Ford s laboratories and proving grounds and m open
competition m the world s toughest rallies and stock car events.
took at Fofd's astounding record in open competition this
year in the grueling Daylona, Riverside, ana Miania me
World 600 at Charlotte, N.C., and in the demanding Pure Oil
Performance Trials. Only a car with tola I performance the best
combination of strength, balance, precision control and road
clinging suspension could roll up so many wins.
Before you buy any new car, tesl-drive Ihe solid, silent Super "
Torque Ford. Ii you haven't driven one lately, you can't really
know what a new Ford is like. Make this important discovery, if
ifi built by Ford, if s buill for performance. ..total performance.
Knawhi wooers
kmc cnmwr
solid, silent SUPER TORQUE
IFRD
Crater Lake Motors
Medford
6th and Fir
y:eif
rgpl" f
PONTIFF VISITS PRIMATE Pope Paul VI, left, chats
with ailing Ukranianian Archbishop of Lwow, josyf Slypyi,
when the pontiff visited the Primnte at the Vatican. The
Patriarch of the West also paid a visit to the ailing Enrique
Cardinal Pla y Daniel of Spain, at the Spanish College at
Vatican City. (UPI)
Nuclear-Free Zone Rejected by U. S.
Moscow -flIPll The United
States has rejected a Soviet
proposal to turn the Mediter
ranean area into a nuclear-
free zone. It said such a move
would weaken the United
States and its allies.
The United States said It
had to maintain Polaris -sub
marine defense in this area
to defend itself and its allies
against "a form of nuclear
blackmail under which the
Soviet Union could have at
tempted to force Mediterra
nean countries to succumb to
Soviet dictation or Soviet
domination."
The note was released here
by the U. S. embassy after it
was delivered to the Soviet
foreign office.
Redevelopment Fund Faces Fight
Washington -ITO- A second
congressional battle over in
creased funds to help econo
mically depressed areas began
in the Senate today following
the proposal's.surprise defeat
in the House two weeks ago.
The Kennedy administra
tion measure would add MS 3
million to authorized funds
for the Area Redevelopment
Agency which the Hous by
a slim margin refused to ap
prove. The bill now faces
mounting opposition In the
Senate.
Kennedy has asked Con
gress to double the funds for
the 20-month-old agency.
Governor Signs,
Vetoes Measures
Salem (UPD - The following
measures were signed Mon
day by Gov. Mark Hatfield:
HB1074-Rcporting of bul
let wounds.
HB1394-Outlaws discrimi
nation because of race, reli
gion, color, national origin or
age.
HBMH9-lncrcascs rales for
publication of legal advertis
ing. SB129-County planning.
SB257-Life insurance.
The governor vetoed the
following:
HB1206-Rclating to tourist
parks.
SB223-Salary ranges for
county officers.
SB247 - Educational radio
television council.
SB401-Counsel In extradi
tion cases.
which was created in 1962 to
bring federal (id to commu
nities and regions suffering
from chronic unemployment.
Republicans, backed by
some conservative Demo
crats, have strongy attacked
the agency. Sen. Wallace V.
Bennett (R-Utah), said the
ARA amounted to little more
than a political slush fund
for the Democrats.
He labeled the agency a
step toward "planned govern
ment economy" and contend
ed that many of its loans and
grants had beep used to build
up marginal industries which
only cause unemployment in;
uiuer areas.
A .5
Search of Descfiuf ts
Continue for Child
The Dallea-tDPfu Search con.
tinued today for the body of
the 4-year-old daughter of
Portland man, believed
drowned in the Deschutes riv
er near Maupin. Linda Jean
Hasselman fell Into the river
Sunday. She was the daughter
of Ronald W. Hasselman, a
State Fish Commission biol.
ogist.
CAR POLISHERS
for RENT at
A to Z Rental
1213 N. RinnM 77t-1474
New York-lUPU-The luxury
liner Bremen en route from
Now York to Cherbourg col
lided with a 75-foot whale
Monday. North German Lloyd
Line officials' said the liner's
skipper, Capt. Guenther Roes
sing, reported there was no
evidence the hull was dam
aged. The captain did not
mention the fate of the whale.
INSURE with...
Frtd R. Bnnnan, CIA Lewtll A. Ivtnea
"If There Were no Losses, There '
Would Be No Premiumsl"
Medford Insurance Agency
The R. A. Holmes Agency
. 25 West Main Street
PHONES 773-7343 772-4444
er A 4 -cV -6- 4- -fr -ir -i- i & v!r 4 1 -it -ir -ir &&4&&&&t:&&&&:&l:&&&&il1l&b&&&i:&iit&&&ililbil&&'tt
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