10 A
THURSDAY, MAY 30. 2963
MEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFORD. OREGON
They'll Do It Every Time By Jimmy Hado"
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SIMPLICITY AND
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Six Items Offered
People Who Can't Remember What
They Read Can Forget These Gems
I ' '"I
Bv DICK WEST
Washington - IDPIt - I often
hear people lament that they
can't seem to remember what
they read.
There are two
remedies for
this. They can
take a mem
ory course or
they can re'
restrict their
reading to
things lhat
don't need to
Wnt be remember
ed. As my good deed lor to
day, I offer here six items
that people can forget without
letting it bother them at all.
ONE
The streets of Washington
are lined with trees. To help
them survive In a hostile city
environment, the trees are
sprayed occasionally with
some kind of chemical.
When the spraying machine
la scheduled to visit on area,
notices are posted warning
motorists not to park there.
Recently, John McKclway of
the Washington Star took a
calculated risk and left his
car in a posted area. .
He now drives the only car
In Washington that Is pro
tected against Dutch elm dis
ease. TWO
Rep. Jim Wright (D-Tox.)
recently advised his constitu
ents that by the year 2010 the
population of Texas will more
than double and the income of
Tcxans will more than quad
ruple.
Holy Cowl Now they've
started bragging in the future
tense.
THREE
The Navy has decided to
christen one of its Polaris sub
marines the "Kemehameha"
in honor of a Hawaiian chief.
An old Navy man of my ac
quaintance thinks this is
dreadful.
Pity, he says, the poor sail
or who goes out on the town,
has a few too many and gets
picked up by the shore patrol.
"What's your ship, sailor?"
"The Hamekameha. Ooops,
I mean the Mchamehaka. No,
not that. It's the Hamame . . ."
By that time they've al
ready got him In the brig.
FOUR
In a House committee re
port on the "equal pay for
women" bill, Rep. Paul Find
ley (R-Ill.) boldly asserted that
"women are more prone to
homcmaklng and motherhood
than men."
No matter what the Issue is,
there's always somebody mak
ing extreolst statements.
FIVE
Mixed metaphors are fairly
SAFETY EXPERT FINED
Reading, England - IUPD
Traffic Policeman George
O Dell, who doubles as a lec
turer In road safety, was fined
S14 Tuesday for careless
driving in his poll'-e car.
common In Congress. Rarely,
however, do you hear meta
phors scrambled as thorough
ly as in a remark by Rep.
William M. Colmer (D-Miss.)
at a rules committee hearing.
Said he: I m treading here
where those who fly are sup
posed to keep silent."
SIX
A thought for this week,
courtesy of the National Geo
graphic Society: If a human
baby grew at the same rate as
the larvae of monarch butter
flies, it would weigh eight
tons in two weeks.
Middle-Age Titles
Stick to Britons
London -WPD- Britain Is a
country with Its feet in the
20th Century but its heart
firmly tied to the Middle
Ages.
The latest exhibition of
this love of nostalgia came
recently when Queen Eliza
beth II named the Earl of
Snowdon, her brother-in-law,
the new Constable of Caer
narvon Castle.
Thus, Princess Margaret's
husband slipped easily into
the ranks of a class that seems
particularly at home In Brit
ain. The country Is literally full
of people who hold official
posts and honorary titles that
sound as if they were created
by Edward the Confessor or
Queen Elizabeth I.
The pouts require no exer
tion. But they have grand,
mysterious titles that enable
the nation to point proudly,
say, at the hereditary Chief
Butler of England, and let
loose a cheer.
Racaivas Dukedom
The current hereditary
Chief Butler is the Duke of
Norfolk, whose ancestor re
ceived his dukedom in 1483.
He has never been known
to serve at a table but he did
manage the British test crick
et team on an Australian tour.
The Marquis of Ormonde is
Chief Butler of Ireland but
has almost no duties. It was
not so with his ancestors
when they received the post
in the 14th Century.
"In those days, the Chief
Butler had a concession on
all the wine imported into
Ireland, and the job carried
quite a rakeoff," he said.
The Earl of Shrewsbury Is
Lord High Steward of Ire
land. His only task is to carry
Oregon Supreme
Court Decisions
Salem - IUPD - The Oregon
Supreme Court Wednesday
ruled that attorney's fees and
expenses incurred in defense
of a murder charge are not
allowable business expense
deductions.
The high court decision re
versed a ruling from Oregon
Tax Court Judge Peter M.
Gunnur.
Robert E. and Violet Sproul,
Giant county ranchers, con
tended the killing resulted
when their attempt to use an
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easement to harvest a hay
crop was blocked.
Sproul contended that since
the expense arose out of his
assertion of the right to use
the road in the course of car
rying on his ranching busi
ness, the expense was deduct
ible. Could be No Question
The high court said "There
could be no question as to the
deductibility of litigation ex
pense if Sproul had sought
through an injunction to re
strain his neighbor from in
terfering with the use of the
right-of-way.
"However, settling a dis
pute by force of firearms
would not be deductible . . ."
The State Tax commission
had appealed Judge Gunnar's
approval of the deduction.
The high court also revers
ed a decision of Lane county
circuit judge, Don H. Sanders,
granting a malpractice deci
sion to C. Dale Carson. The
court had found Albert J.
Braucr guilty of malpractice.
Also reversed by the Su
preme Court was an action In
the Curry county circuit court
of Judge Robert C. Bcllonl. A
judgment for $8,750 recover
ed by Richard Adklns from
William Campbell for aliena
tion of affections and for
criminal conversation was re
versed and the case remanded
for a new trial.
Polk Caie Remanded
Reversed in part and re
manded for a new trial by the
high court was a decree of
the Polk county circuit court
of Judge Charles H. Foster
In a case Involving a real
estate purchase.
H. G. and Stella Johnston
appealed the lower court de
cision which favored William
and Carol Gilbert.
A decision by Washington
county circuit Judge J. S. Bo
hannon also was reversed by
the Supreme Court. The high
court reversed the lower court
decree Rrantlng cancellation
of a deed. Howard and Doro
thy Hanson appealed the de
cision which favored Subur
ban Properties, Inc.
The hlRh court upheld a
decision of Malheur county
circuit Judge Jeff Dorroh Jr.
involving a property casement
dispute between Isabelle Mal
let and John and Eva Bucr-man.
a white wand at coronations.
Some other titles Include:
The Duke of Argyll-Admiral
of the Western Isles.
The Duke of St. Albans -Hereditary
Grand Falconer of
England.
The Marquis of Exeter
- Hereditary Grand Almoner
and Lord Paramount of the
Soke of Peterborough.
The Earl of Portsmouth -Bailiff
of Burley.
The Duke of Richmond is
Constable of Inverness Cas
tle, but he doesn't like the
title because he has nothing
to do.
"It's a ridiculous thing. It
means absolutely nothing,"
he claims. "I don't even know
what it's all about."
Snowdon may not have the
same problems. Lord Harlech,
his predecessor, 10 years ago
had to ' present Queen Eliza
beth with the key to the castle
when she arrived for a visit.
It is believed the next time
such a ceremony will be call
ed for will be when Prince
Charles, the heir to the
throne, Is invested as the
Prince of Wales. This Is still
years away.
The Constable of Caernar
von was first appointed in
1284. Admiralty House said
the title has been given to a
series of "tried men" since.
First Audition for
Fair Show Slated
Salem - First audition for
the free talent show for the
Oregon State Fair will be held
June 6 starting at 9 a.m. at
Willamette university. A sec
ond audition June 7 and a
third June 14 also are sched
uled. Melvln Geist, dean of mu
sic at Willamette university
and director of the State Fair
talent show, reports that any
one between 10 years old and
through college age will be
welcomed at the auditions if
they contact him and arrange
for a time to be heard. Plans
call for about 25 events, sev
eral of which will be group
numbers, for the two - hour
program set for each after
noon of State Fair week, Aug.
30-Sept. 7.
Geist said that trumpet
players will be featured this
year as the trumpet to herald
the 1963 State Fair is one of
the symbols being used. How
ever, a wide variety of enter
tainment is being sought in
cluding acrobats, musicians,
dancers, group talent.
Last year 180 young people
participated in the show. An
equal number is being hoped
for this year. Letters an
nouncing the talent show au
ditions have gone out to all
secretaries of chambers of
commerce and to high schools,
Geist said.
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Boys Give Up Auto 1
At Request of Police
Hoplln. Mo.JITH-Robert E.
Taylor, 18, and Dennis Raum,
17, of Gladbrook, Iowa, were
collared by police Wednes
day for driving an unlicensed
car officers considered unsafe
i because It had been cut off
! from the windows up, had no
muffler, was In bad mechani
cal condition and. the front
door lay In the back seat.
The boys said they had
; paid $23 for the car during
an unsuccessful Job hunting
trip. Police agreed to release
them if they sold the car. j
The youths were paid an I
! undisclosed sum by a Junk
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