MY MOST INSPIRING MOMENT
A
JL H
ppointment
with Destiny
By J. EDGAR HOOVER
Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation
Author of "A Study of Communism" and "Matters of Deceit"
THE MOOD in the Bureau of Investiga
tion (as the FBI was known in 1924)
was tense. The day before, May 9, the
new Attorney General, Harlan Fiske
Stone, had accepted the resignation of
William J. Burns, the Bureau's director.
Maybe I, as assistant director, was next.
I had invested almost seven years in public
service: as an attorney in the Department of
Justice, as a special assistant to the Attorney
General and, since 1921, in the Bureau of In
vestigation. Perhaps I had chosen unwisely. Must
I now, at 29, admit that I had made a mistake?
Should I, too, resign?
No, I decided, that would be a mistake. I had
honestly tried to do my best. My conscience was
clear; I had nothing to hide.
Certainly, in the Bureau itself, there was cor
ruption. Political favoritism was rife. Our in
vestigations constantly were being hampered by
employees like the notorious Gaston B. Means,
whom I had ordered to stay out of my office. My
views on the subject of favoritism and corrup
tion were well known. I had spoken them open
ly and often. This, I had made clear, was no way
to run the government's business.
But neither was resigning the way to help
correct the situation, I now told myself. To give
up was only to allow these conditions to grow
worse. So I took a deep breath and resolved to
stay on and fight.
All well and good to make bold resolutions, I
reminded myself, but there was another question
that 1 might have much less to say about: would
the new Attorney General, Mr. Stone, ask me to
resign? Or worse yet, would he fire me outright?
I was soon to find out In the early afternoon,
amid the deepening tension which burdened the
entire Bureau, word came that Mr. Stone wanted
to see me.
Never will I forget that seemingly endless walk
from my office to his. When I entered, the Attor
ney General was seated behind his desk. He was
a big man, over six feet tall. He had been a foot
ball player in college and, from what I had heard,
he could still be plenty rough when he felt like it.
"Sit down," he said gruffly, and nodded toward
a chair at the side of his desk. I sat.
I Struggled to Keep Calm
Then came the longest silence I have ever ex
perienced in my life. The Attorney General looked
at me intently, but he didn't utter a word. Only
once did he drop his gaze, and then it was to focus
briefly on a particular sheet of paper. I felt that
his eyes had become virtual searchlights, bent on
penetrating my innermost being. I am sure I
shifted uneasily in my seat, although I was doing
everything in my power to remain calm. I had
seen this remarkable man a number of times be
fore, but this time it was very different.
Still not a word, just that piercing look. Even
tually he changed position a bit, leaned forward,
and peered at me over his glasses. Then he spoke.
To my surprise, all he seemed to have in mind
was a certain case we were looking into. In a quiet
tone, he asked for details. Then, just as quietly,
he passed on to an administrative matter. What
were the latest developments?
With that out of the way, he leaned back in his
chair, knitted his hands together behind his head,
and began to talk. He discussed his hopes and
plans for the Department of Justice how he
wanted to reform it from top to bottom, weed out
incompetence and political favoritism, and instill
a new spirit of loyalty and enthusiasm.
Hearing him talk that way stirred me to the
roots of my being. But I couldn't help wondering:
what is he leading up to? After all, he knew I
agreed with every word he said. Maybe he was
taking the kind way out; his next words might
be: "Well, now, since you are part of the past, I
want you to help us start over by handing in
your resignation."
He stopped, put his elbows on the desk, ad
justed his glasses, and leaned toward me with
an air which in other circumstances might have
been confidential. Here it comes, I thought.
"Young man," he said, "I want you to be acting
director of the Bureau of Investigation."
Only the grip of self-discipline kept me from
starting right out of my chair in disbelief. This
was the very last thing I had expected to hear.
Be acting director? I knew now that he was
not holding me personally responsible for the
mistakes and corruption in the Bureau. I felt the
exhilarating emotion of a man whose innocence
has been vindicated. Here was an opportunity
an opportunity to fight for the principles which
I held dear.
A Young Man's Conditions
"Mr. Stone," I said, "I'll take the job on cer
tain conditions."
As I spoke, I felt a shudder of anxiety. Who
was I, a mere youngster, to set conditions before
the Attorney General of the United States? Yet
the words came out, almost instinctively, because
they represented heartfelt convictions I had
wrestled with during many tortured hours.
If I were to remain in the Bureau, my job must
not be just another job. I had been there long
enough to know what changes must be made.
If I did not have a free hand to clean things up
and keep them clean, the Bureau would remain
4
Family Wetkly. Janua- 27, 1963
IUUSTIATION IT MAIVIN mEDMAN