FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21. 1962
MEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFORD, OREGON
"Everyone in Southern Oregon
Headi The Mull Tribune"
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NATIONAL EDITORIAL
ASCSPCHTIPN
Righto' Time
Medford nd Jeckson County
History from the fllei of The
Mall Tribune- 10, 20, 30, 40
nd 50 years ago.
Ken Denman
10 YEARS AGO
Sept. 21, 1952 (Tuesday)
Two convicts, recent esca-
pees from the Oregon State
nnnltentiarv In Salem, are
sought near California-Ore
gon border.
Unidentified driver runs
into blind pedestrian, leaps
out of car and delivers tongue
lashing; pedestrian shaken,
but unhurt.
20 YEARS AGO
Sept. 21. 1942 (Wednesday)
Army officials at Camp
White warn there will be ar
tillery firing on Beagle
range and persons are cau
tioned to remain outside of
district.
Vrnm Arthur Perry s Ye
Smudge Pot" column: "Troops
in the South Pacific have or
ganized ukelele bands. The
war is getting worse and
worse."
30 YEARS AGO
Sept. 21. 1932 (Friday)
' Medford Chamber of Com
merce goes on record as be
ing opposed to merger of Uni
versity of Oregon and Oregon
State college.
Gray Hills, of Hills Broth
ers Coffee company, purchas
es airplane to enable him to
make quick trips to Rogue
valley for fishing here.
40 YEARS AGO
R.nt. 21. 1922 (Saturday)
Total of 31 students enroll
in Rogue River High school,
increase of 34 per cent over
192(1.
Arrival of 83 railroad pus-
sengcr agents in Medford de
layed when railroad trestle
burns north ol nere.
50 YEARS AGO
Sept. 21. 1912 (Monday)
Dr. Harry Lane, Dcmocra-
tic candidate for United Stat
es senator, slates speeches in
Central Point opera nouse.
Medford natatorlum, and Ash'
land Chautauqua building.
Approximately 40 local
people make reservations on
soeciul train to Pendleton
Round-Up; group plans to at
tend baseball game in Fort
land while en route to show,
A few weeks ago were were sitting at a table
in Beckie's cafe in Union Creek, eating fresh
huckleberry pie, and listening to Ken Denman
spin yarns about his hunting, fishing and camp
ing exploits.
Today, Ken Denman is gone, the victim of a
heart attack which he suffered while doing one
of the things he liked best, going into the fields
with his dog.
His was a life with many facets. He was a
lawyer, public servant, conservationist, outdoors
man. One of his friends says of him:
"Ken was a philosopher and sought to practice his
own philosophy, namely, that one should direct and
guide his interest and his life to the fullest degree pos
sible, and should not allow life to pull and haul and
direct him any more than was absolutely necessary.
. Ken took time to hunt and fish, to hike, to train his
dogs, and to participate In the affairs of his church
and his community in which he was interested and
concerned. He did not try to do everything, as so many
do, but limited his Interest reasonably and wisely."
LIIS FRIENDS, and they were many, associated
Ken Denman with the word integrity. A col
league writes:
"... He was unwaveringly and scrupulously hon
est in everything he did. In over 30 years of dealing
with him I have found him scrupulously faithful in
every representation he might make. He was rock
like in his devotion to truth."
Over the years he gave of his time and know
ledge to the public service, as an outstanding
member and chairman of the state game com
mission, as a member of the local Forest Service
advisory board, and in many other capacities.
A lifelong friend and companion of Ken's,
who had shared many of his outdoor experiences,
feels this little verse is an appropriate memorial :
He was a friend whose heart was good, '
Who walked with men, and understood;
His was a zeal we loved to see
Which wavered not, that asked no fee
For kindliness of service done:
And now that he has journeyed on.
The good he wrought here never ends,
, For it lives in the hearts of his many friends.
E. A.
Public School Needs
"We Are Determined To Fight Communism By
Any Meant Short Of Actual Spending"
Soviet Jockeying on Berlin Question
Continues; No Hot War Outbreak Seen
By PHIL NEWSOM
UPI Foreign News Analyst
Since 1958, Soviet Premier
Khrushchev has been blowing
hot and cold on Berlin. Now
there is a feel
ing that when
Khrush cbev
says he will
s'gn a sepa
rate peace
treaty soon
with the East
Germans, thus
threate n i n g
Allied supply
lines to West
he may mean it.
Khrushchev long has been
under pressure for such a
treaty from the puppet East
German regime of Walter Ul
bricht, as well as under har
assment from more militant
members of the Communist
bloc to prove he can be tough
toward the West despite his
policy of peaceful coexistence.
There also has been the
embarrassment he brought on
himself by setting previous
deadlines which passed with
out action in the face of firm
Allied resistance.
Soviet efforts to get the Al
lies out of West Berlin actual-
COMMUNICATIONS
Letters to the Editor must bear the name end address of the writer,
although under certain circumstances the use of a pen name or initial
for publication is permissible. The Mall Tribune reserves the right to
edit all letters with a view to clarification and condensation. Letters
submitted for publication must not exceed 400 words. The letters
printed in this column do not necessarily represent the views of the
paper; in fact the contrary is ofton the case.
Made In USA
To the Editor:
About the stuff called
"Staff of Life",
I may be just a lubber.
Cause I hate to treat good
rye or wheat,
As synonyms for rubber.
But, the Idea seems to be O.K.,
And should captivate the
nation -Hence,
"balloon" bread is
quite apropos,
For it teams up with Inflation.
George Distell
156 Vashti Way,
Medford
What's Your I.Q.?
, Nina er ten correct Is superior)
seven er eight Is eicelUnt; five ei
sit is good.
1. On which sea docs Po
land lie?
2. Who was the first Presi
dent chosen by the Pilgrims?
3. Correct the following;
"The fox dived quickly in
his hole."
4. Was "When Johnny
Comes Marching Home" a
popular song in the Mexican
War, Spanish-American War
or World War 1?
5. Wns Vermont one of the
original 13 states?
6. Does a filibuster have
the effect of hastening, or of
delaying legislation?
7. What is the abbrevia
tion for the word Admiral?
8. What is a cygnet?
9. With what island Repub
lic In the West Indies do you
associate the phrase "Piatt
Amendment"?
10. Is carraway the name
of a bird, herb, vehicle or all
three?
Answerst 1. Baltic Sea. 2.
John Carver. 3. "The fox div
ed quickly Into . . ." 4. None
(The War Between the States),
S. No. S. Delaying. 7. Adm.
8. A young swan. 9. Cuba
10. Herb
The National Committee for Support of the
Public Schools is a relatively new organization,
dedicated to this belief :
"That the American public schools are the founda
tion of American democracy, American strength and
American faith in freedom of thought and freedom of
expression.
"That without vastly Increased financial support
by the American people and the American govern
ment, the public schools will never achieve the quality
they must have to meet the necessities of the Ameri
can future."
The committee is composed of some of the
most distinguished leaders in American life. It
is non-partisan (both Harry Truman and Alf
landon are members, indicating the spread or.
political thought which can agree on the impor
tance of education).
THE COMMITTEE'S problem is to communi-
rtafa flia nro-nnrtv nf imnrnvinir thp nutinn'R
schools to the nation's people. Part of its state
ment of objectives says :
" . . The Committee will urge the American people to
come to grips with the tact that it is within their power to
make the American public school the greatest instrument
of human betterment the world has ever known. If the
people of America believe that this country should spend
Its money to create such an educational system, then that
Is where the money will be spent. The National Committee
for support of the Public Schools wishes to do everything
In its power to help the American people make that
choice."
How can this be done? What means should
be employed to make this message a meaningful
one to the citizen-in-eeneral
The committee is seeking answers to these
questions, and welcomes suggestions.
A RECENT letter from its "executive director,
Ralph W. McDonald, says in part:
"Evidence is mounting daily that adequate support of
the public schools is the nation's most critical need. How
can the National Committee, acting for outstanding leaders
In all sections of the country, be most helpful In convincing
our fellow citizens of this need and directing their think
ing to possible ways o' meeting it?"
It's a tiood oiifstion. How can the most af
fluent society in history be convinced that educa
tion is worthy of at least as much money as
whiskey, cigarettes or cosmetics? How can a peo
ple whose disposable income (even at tor taxes)
is higher than any in history, be persuaded to al
locate a bit more of it to the benefit of future
generations?
Any suggestions? E. A.
Music. Flowers and Rocks
To the Editor: I read that
music has strange powers.
Hasn't it, though? I read the
advertisement "Drummer
wanted." Being rather lively
at It I answered and was in
vited to drop in an listen. I
did.
The first two rackets - T
can't call 'em "tunes" - nearlv
drove me nuts. "Crash, bane.
bump, squeal" and that power
broke loose. So did I. and if
ever I hear Rock an' Rnll
again it will be from some
distance.
Say folks, you should have
attended that garden club in
Phoenix. The Senior Activity
Center Orchestra was invited
tu piay mere and we gave the
music that hath charms, If I
do say so. That group of gar
deners had dahlias as big as
pie plates and a wonderful
collection of flowers of every
color.
There were cat tails ar-
ranged in a nice fan shaoe in
an ooiong planter and each
tail had a split wiener bun at
tached to its brown sides. If
it hadn't been for the greens
between 'em, I would have
laKen a big bite.
i saw a oououet of rorf
dahlias that sat in surround
ings or dusty miller, and
roses that were absolutely
gorgeous.
A counter of driftwood
that water alone had shaped
like birds, hens, roosters and
many kinds of things - that
took my eye and I spent some
time there. (If I could turn
time back, I'd be a shemale
beach comber.)
Soon some carvings of vege
tables got into my other eye
and I was set for the P.M.,
but about that time my hus
band got his eye on me and I
had to go home.
That man has more eyes
than a potato. Every time I
try to sneak an apronful of
Strictly Personal
By Sydney J. Harris
(cl Field Enterprises, Inc.
forgotten one very important
fact. In 1943 our Senate, so
brainwashed with ballyhoo
they never even read it, signed
into the law of our Land the
United Nations Charter. Un
der this Charter, which has
treaty status, the United
States cannot protect herself,
or anybody else, even if we
are attacked. Read Article 51
if you doubt this. It states that
in case of armed attack we
can act in self defense ONLY,
until the United Nations takes
over. So help me, that's what
it says. So what are we going
to do, then, about this unen
durable, festering sore just
900 miles from our shores?
Should we ask the UN to
clobber Castro for us as it
has clobbered anti-Communist
Katanga in the Congo?
That's a laugh. The Under
secretary General of the UN
Security Council in control of
the UN Military is a Commu
nist and always has been, all
seven of them. Can you imag
ine the present Undersecre
tary, the Russian, Eugeny D.
Kisilev taking any steps
against Castro that would em
barrass Russia? Furthermore,
Russia is a member of the
Security Council and can veto
any UN move against Castro.
In this undeniably desper
ate situation which is grow
ing worse daily should we
break the UN Charter treaty
we signed as Russia has done
with virtually all her treaties?
Of course not. We should hold
fast to our honor and by an
act of Congress withdraw U.S.
membership from the UN and
all its subsidiary organiza
tions. Then we could regain
the respect of the whole
world by enforcing the Mon
roe Doctrine and restoring
anti-Communist rule to Cuba.
Our greatest danger is not
from Castro. It is from the
UN Charter which has ham
strung and hog-tied Uncle
Sam into utter helplessness
L. C. Powell,
316 S.E. Eighth St.,
Grants Pass, Ore.
PHYSICAL AND
MENTAL DAMAGE '
During one of his riding
lessons this summer, a 6-year-
old-boy I know - know very
well - took a tumble off the
horse ond broke a bone near
his wirst. For four weeks, his
arm was in a cast up to the
elbow.
After the intlal shock - and
the reassurance from the doc
tor that the arm would be as
good as new in a month or
two - his parents' chief feel
ing was one of astonishment.
The resiliency and adaptabil
ity of a child is unbelievable.
Within a few days, the boy
was able to perform all his
customary tasks with one
hand - dressing, tying shoes
Dlaying with complicated toys
Except for mounting another
horse, the fracture prevented
him from none of his vacation
pastimes.
Watching this amazing
exhibition of dexterity (or.
Artful English
As one who makes a living putting words to
gether, we have a lively appreciation for a well-
turned phrase, a gracetul sentence, a subtly-con
vcved meaning.
Therefore we read with enjoyment a recent
pronouncement by the faculty of heed college.
Long embarrassed by a minority of the student
body who exercise their independence and non
conform i.sm by odd or sloppy modes of dress, the
faculty composed this statement:
"Resolved, that the faculty go on record as expecting
students to observe the simple amenities of attire on public
occasions and disapproving of their failure to do so."
This is so susceptible to subjective interpre
tation that it probably won't accomplish much.
But one has to agree that it is an artful use of the
English language. , E. A. ,
Nudity and God
To the Editor: Individuals
of Rogue valley are acting like
scared mice because of a nu
dist colony in our midst. In
every home there are nudists
at one time or another. No
need for a mass panic of hu
initiation. Illusions and evil
thoughts dwell only in your
pretty rocks, or some other individual mind as to what
blamed finding, into the back one 111 your shoes would think
of the Dodge - there he is ' if 'u were there. Bible says,
standing - watchful, sarcastic, I "As a man thinketh so is he."
but grinning. He doesn't pro-1 People in Africa and New
test - Just gazes. I get the i Guinea are naked continually
rocks home, but that durnod but not running around after
grin gets my goat. jcach other panting like a dog.
Some day I'll stick to my oil Jesus never judged people
panning and, just maybe, I 11 by their outward appearance.
Insurance Survey
Report Published
Eugene - The general at
titude of small retailers to
ward insurance and insurance
agents is one of "suspicion
and distrust," leading to lack
of communication between re-
tailers and agents, which
works to the disadvantage of
both.
As a result, retailers fre
quently pay high premiums
for insurance coverage wnicn
is too often haphazard, over
lapping, and inadequate.
These are the conclusions
contained in a new report,
Insurance Management Prob-
lems of Small Retailers," just
published by the University
of Oregon bureau of business
research. The booklet was
prepared with funds provid
ed bv the U.S. Small Busi
ness administration manage
ment research grant program
and will be distributed na
tionwide by the SBA.
The report was written by
Dr. Donald A. Watson, assist
ant director of the bureau,
and A. Gerlof Homan, who
was research associate in the
bureau in 1900-61, on leave
from the Stanford Research
Institute. Project director was
Dr. Wesley C. Ballaine, bu
reau director.
In a survey of 385 small
retail establishments in Ore
gon, it was found in the field
of fire Insurance, the most
costly Insurance which re
tailers carry, that 22 per cent
of the buildings were "ser
iously underinsured," 33 per
cent of the retailers were not
insured up to full value on
their stock. 10 per cent car
ried no fire insurance on
stock, and 18 per cent carried
no fire insurance on equip-
more properly, linisterity,
for he was using his left
arm only), as his proficiency
increased day by day, I
thought how parents worry
about the wrong things in
their children.
Physically, a child Is
much hardier than we
think. We fret about acci
dents, wet clothing, missed
meals, infections. Yet, given
the large numbers of acci
dents and diseases a child
is exposed to, it it tome
thing of a miracle that any
child reaches the age of 10.
That most of them do reach
thit age intact it compelling
evidence of a child's hardi
nett and adaptability. But
only in the grott physical
tense. In the emotional area
(which parent! rarely think
about until it is too late),
the child it highly vulner
able to influencei that we,
at parentt, may be tcarcely
aware of.
The things that really cripple
children - often permanently-
are not falls from trees
horses, not viruses or dietary
defects. They are, rather, the
pervasive dally atmosphere of
a home, the unspoken hostili
ties, the inconsistencies of
mood, the anxieties about
themselves which parents un
consciously project upon their
children.
Perhaps we worry so much
about the broken bones, the
fevers and the chills, as a way
of concealing from ourselves
the more subtle - and there
fore more insidious - damage
we unknowingly perpetrate
upon our children. And it does
seem to be true that the
classical "anxious mother", so
worried whether her child is
wearing a sweater on a chilly
day, is often the one who is
doing psychic harm to her
child in ways that a dozen
sweaters could not protect
trom.
The boy got along beauti
fully with one arm. Where
the crippling really counts is
where it cannot be seen - not
underneath the cast, but un
derneath the skull.
ly date back to within a few i sign his separate East German
months of the end of the war treaty by the first of the year.
there are no indications that
he wants a general war now
any more than he has in tha
past.
It could be that such a
treaty would be a continua
tion of the nibbling tactics by
which the Soviets have been
attempting to wear away Al
lied rights in Berlin. In such
a situation, Khrushchev
could be expected to hem the
East Germans with such re
strictions as to prevent their
being able to draw the Soviet
Union into an unwanted con
flict. There also has been specu
lation that Communist Cuba,
as a new element in the world
situation, also enters the pic
ture. In this event, Khrushchev
might use the threat of a move
on Berlin to prevent similar
U. S. action against the Castro
regime.
in 1945,
They reached one climax
with the Berlin blockade of
1948, broken by a gigantic
Allied airlift.
In 1958 came an ultimatum
in which Khrushchev said he
would turn Berlin access con
trol over to the East Germans
six months unless agree
ment were reached on a sepa
rate treaty for East Germany.
In June 1961, he gave Presi
dent Kennedy another six
month ultimatum, repeating
the threats of 1958.
Now he says he will wait
until after the November elec
tions in the United States.
Throughout these years, the
Allied answer has been the
same. They are in Berlin by
right of conquest and the
Soviet Union will be expected
to live up to its four-power
commitments
Even if Khrushchev does
Washington Report
By William S. White
(c United Featura Syndicate
1 a
ts
In the Day's News
By FRANK JENKINS
Political fast:
Massachusetts likes Ken
nedys.
The more of 'em the better.
ALSO-
Massachusetts likes
picture him, too
Don't tell him I said that.
He hasn't read the paper since
they raised the price.
Pearl Spackman
Jacksonville, Ore.
Greatest Danger
To the Editor: With the
Cuban crisis blazing furiously
in our back yard our Presi
dent has asked for the au
thority to call up 150.000 mili
tary reserves. Because of the
threatening Communist build
up there, many of our Sen
ators are railing for a mili
tary blockade of Cuba, some
for both military and eco
nomic blackade. and some for
armed invasion! The Ameri
can people are now thorough
ly aroused over the landing
of Russian amis and technic
ians (technically trained
troopst In Castro's stronghold.
And the John Birch Society
and many other patriotic or
ganizations have passed reso
lutions inMMcntly demanding
action against Cuba.
Everybody from the Presi
dent on down seems to iave
but spiritually. How many
have searched the spirit of
these people in the nudist col
ony for purcness of spirit be
fore they were cast into the
teeth of the Devil? Who but
God has such authority? Fail
ure to see the good in people,
rather than evil, is of hypo-
critic faith.
All men are created equal.
God is no respecter of persons.
For all have sinned and come
short of the Glory of God. No
one can glorify himself by
speaking evil of thy neighbor.
To Judge someone and con
demn him you take away
God's authority. God will sure
ly punish you for this as you
would your child if he should
st.'nd before you and tell yoii
what is what and take away
your authority.
God shall judge all people
by their spirit, not the shape
of their bodies, nor the clothes
they wear, nor by how much
money there is in their check
ing account at the bank. Rich
or poor, smelling of perfume
or tmelly odor of a swej'y
mcnt.
DOLLAR FLOW DIPS
Washington -'ITD- The Com
merce Department said Thurs
day the net dollar flow out
of the United States dropped
sharply in April. May and
June to from S476 million to
S218 million.
em
young. Teddy Kennedy, the
winner of the Democratic
nomination for U.S. senator
(by a landslide) has just
turned 30. His primary oppon
ent, tddie McCormack, is a
doddering 39.
Turning to the Republican
side of the Massachusetts pri
mary election, Lodge, the win
ner, is a mere 35. His oppon
ent, Congressman Curtis, is a
ripe 69, going on 70.
Again youth triumphed.
THE AFTER-ALLERS
Washington-A curious line
is running through much pub
lic and private comment about
A the presence
in Castro Cu
I ba of Soviet
iWv"i2 arms a"d s0-
r i viet tecnnici
- ans." It might
0 be called "tne
a r g umeni or
'Weats-J'S after all," and
HS,I it oes thus.
iJI It is very up-
. setting, oi
course, that the Soviet Union
has now made a publicly
boasted military lodgment in
this hemisphere. But, after
all, the United States has
forces of its own or allies of
its own in many places con
fronting Russia, too.
Of this sort of reasoning
the only possible query is
how "sophisticated," how "ob
jective," can you get? Isn't
this another way of saying
that there is, underneath, not
much difference between us
and our record and intentions
and the Soviet Union and its
record and intentions?
Is there no distinction be
tween the positioning of
American forces in free coun
tries which have asked for
our protection and the posi
tioning of Soviet forces in
countries which have been
brutally and simply overrun
- say Hungary and Poland?
WE HAVE troops In West
Germany, yes. But is
West Germany under our rule
as East Germany is under
Khrushchev's rule? President
Kennedy, whose whole admin
istration has been involved
in endless and often losing
arguments with Chancellor
Konrad Adenauer, would
hardly say so.
For a decade we have had
troops or military associations
in a Europe running from
Turkey on the east to Italy
on the south and France on
the west. But have we domi
nated any of those countries?
Charles de Gaulle of France
would hardly prove so. For
American foreign policy has
been as notably unsuccessful
in dominating de Gaulle as it
has been in dominating Ade
nauer or the Turks or the
Italians or the Belgians or
any of the others.
If the after-allers are
even partly right, what is the
wet dog, only the spirit counts
to God.
Jesus stripped of clothing
on the cross while people toss
ed coins for his garments held
not his head in shame for his
nakedness. God, not confused
by his naked body, knowing
his spirit was pure, took him
to heaven. The people con
demned and judged Jesus,
same as individuals are doing
the sunbathers.
For shame, get on your
knees and ask forgiveness
Don't be like a dog with a
cockletnirr in his tail. Get
down in the dust and ask God
to forgive you. He knows your
consciousness bears a heavy
load. By saying you are a
Christian you haven't got any
one fooled but yourself. Draw
no farther away from God
with your visions of sins of
naked people. God can ease
your conscience for spitefully
using his creations wrongfully
in your thoughts. May God
send peace between you and
your sun-bather brothers.
E. Dykes
Box 58
Eagle Point, Ore.
THAT brings up something
else.
At the general election in
November, 30-year-old Ken
nedy, Democrat, will be pitted
against aging 35-year-old
Lodge.
HOW IS that going to work
out?
With youtn in the saddle in
Massachusetts, and with
Lodge handicapped by five
years, it looks bad for him.
Still, they are both six feet
tall, and both have movie pro
files. That may make the out
come a little more doubtful.
"THE KENNEDY-Lodge ven
A detta?
It's a long one.
The two tribes have been
tangling at the polls for near
ly half a century. Lodge's
great - grandfather defeated
Ted's grandfather. John F.
Fitrgerald. for the Senate
back in 1918.
PRESIDENT Kennedy de-
feated Lodges father,
Henry Cabot Lodge, for the
U.S. Senate In 1952. President
JFK won another victory over
the same Lodge, who ran for
vice-president on the Repub
lican ticket in 1960.
We'll see what we will see
come November. t
moral justification for foreign
aid, for the North Atlantic
Treaty Organization, and all
the rest? And what of our
long record, backed by un
broken history, of seeking no
territory, no conquest? If via
are indeed to be measured
alongside the Soviet Union
by our own voices, what is
the use of anything at all?
rpHE "after-all" logic comes
to this: Here, after all,
are two giant powers. If wa
have the right to maintain
foreign bases, though our
bases are maintained with tha
consent and on the eager ap
peal of the host nations, then
so does the Soviet . Union,
even though its bases are
maintained at gunpoint and
in some instances over tha
dead bodies of its hosts.
If this is "objectivity", so
then is the epigram which
says that the rich and tha
poor have an equal right to
sleep in the public parks.
What price the "obiectiv.
ity" of a Chester Bowles, a
presidential adviser, who says
we must not attack a Cuba
infected with Soviet military
communism because we
should then be charged in tha
united Nations by the Rus
sians with "blatant aggression
and very likely they (the Rus
sians) would win their case?"
The naked right of self
defense cannot possibly be al
tered by any such mere Alice-in-Wonderland
propa g a n d a
"case" in the U.N. or elsewhere.
T'HERE are only two possible
excuses for not putting a
stop right now to Soviet pene
tration. One is the official judgment
that as of now we are not
directly menaced.
The other is the estimate,
on which President Kennedy
is banking, that the job can
be done through collective
Pan-American action.
Because he is president, his
judgments must be accepted
now because there can be only
one president at a time and
because only a president can
either know all of the facts
or act upon them anyhow.
But if his judgments turn
out wrong, and wrong because
of any heed paid to the "after
allers," there will be measure
less tragedy for his adminis
tration and for this country.
Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF-
AN AMERICAN tourist fell in love with Montego Bay in
Jamaica and decided to build a villa of his own there
offering overtime pay if it could be finished quickly. The
contractor got it finished
in record time but the
American found one W.
thing missing when he 41
moveu. in; mere was no
railing to the stairway.
An army of native car
penters rushed out to the
house immediately and
built a railing in three
hours flat. Two hours
later the railing col
lapsed. The outraged
owner called the con
tractor to raise more
Cain. "Don't get so ex
cited," soothed the con
tractor. "Remember: nothing lasts forever."
A friend once brought Picasso three paintings to sign. Picasso
refused, declaring that all three were palpable fakes. 'But," pro
tested the exasperated friend, "I saw you paint these pictures
with my own eyes." Plcaseo's unabashed answer was, "I can
paint fake Plcassoa just as well u anybody."
THE BRIDGE OF SIGNS:
In the reading room of a Pittsburgh public library: "No chil
dren aloud" .... In a downtown bar and grille: -Mother-in-law
special plate: cold shoulder and tongue'' .... In Victorian
cottage along Route 22: "Antiques. Will haggle" .... On the
letterhead of a speakers' bureau: -Have lectures' WM gavel"
.... In a Waukegaa garage: "Our auto fixin', U bettera our
tign paintin'."
C ISM, by fitsaeu Cert. Distributed by Kmt Fettura Syndicate
i