EDITOR'S NOTE
The Poets' Corner
and the Communica
tions column, which
usually appear on this
page in the Sunday
Mail Tribune, will be
found on Page 10A
today only.
MEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFORD. OREGON
SUNDAY. AUGUST 12. 1962
FAMILY
COUNCIL
Carl J. With a large fam
ily, we still have nowhere to
turn now.
Harriet N.-They turn
down the help that's avail
able. They want deluxe
service.
Carl J. My wife and I
have a 14-month-old son. We
expect a second child in two
months. Despite the fact that
we each have plenty of rela
tives, believe it or not, we're
at our wits' end to find some
one to take care of Bobby
while his mother is away.
I'm on a new job, and we
will be in a peak period. I
can't stay home. We've never
used a baby sitter because
we can't afford one. When
we go out, we take the baby
along. My mother lives in
Florida, my sister in Mexico.
That lets them out. Bca's
mother lives a few miles
away, but she has no patience
with her grandchildren. And
Bca's sister is a block away,
but she can't stand to look at j
a diaper! A cousin of mine is
willing to take Bobby, but i
she has a mean daughter who
always teases and hits him
when we visit there, with not
a word from the mother.
Harriet N I'm Carl's sister-in-law,
Bea's sister. They
are making a mountain out of
nothing. There are plenty
people in the family who can ;
take care of Bobby when Bea
gives birth. But you'd think
he's made of eggshells from i
all the orders they give to
any of us who try to hold him
or play with him. No one can j
satisfy them. They're too
fussy. j
My mother can mind a j
baby without stopping every
thing else. But no, Carl and
Bra expect her lo push him
to the park and amuse him on
the swing, or else play peek
aboo with him all day at I
home. As for me, I'd have to j
sign on the dotted line that
I'd bathe and powder the kid
every time he perspired. If
those two could stop expect
ing the fancy services of a
British "nanny," they'd have
nothing to worry about. Their
son would live through it
okay.
The Council: Carl's predi
cament puts us in mind of
the Depression when in 1934
an ex-Secretary of the Treas
ury Ogden L. Mills described
"the paradox of want in the
midst of plenty." The J's had
been going along feeling rich
and secure with "plenty" of
relatives to fall back on in
case of emergency. Yet, here's
the emergency, and they find
themselves falling back on
thin air which doesn't cush
ion or stop the fall. Their
"wealth" has turned to noth
ingness. Harriet's protestations are
not reassuring to the parents
of a cherished toddler who's
never been parted from his
mother. It's not asking too
much to expect the mother
substitute to fondle and cud
dle the baby "in the manner
to which he is accustomed"
that is, ungrudgingly and joy
ously. Evidently Bobby has
had a better deal, thus far,
than even the wards of the
expensive governesses wuu
attend to their feeding, play
and sleep schedules. He's
been steeped in TLC the
warm responsiveness from
parents which has been
deemed as important as oxy
gen to an infant's optimum
development. Why risk sub
jecting Bobby to a week of
careless attention which may
confuse him and. worse, may
arid up traumatic ex
perience? There's still lime to try for
an alternative. Carl. Inquire
of the Social Service depart
ment of the hospital where
Bra will be delivered. They
will have some suggestions.
Bnbhv may he too young for
a Day Nursery (most of them
rlo not accept children under
2) but an infant-care center
may be found where Bobby
ran Slav during the day and
he called for by Carl in the
evening. Also, your clergy
man may have some leads. A
motherlv homrmaker might
be provided, paid for by wel
fare funds for a week or so.
to attend to the baby's needs
In his own home while you
are away.
Also, isn't thrre a friend or
a neighbor" Having lived in
the same community for a
length of time, you may know
another family in the same
fix rVrhnps a til-for-tat deal
mav br worked out. with Bea
ahie to provide the same
prscr of mind for another ex
pectant mother.
When is a familv not a fam
,1V1 When, like this one. they
rnnvrrsr with hells on for
the parties and fun but run
as from Armageddon from
the problems.
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