ULOUAt. JUL.I i. IbOi
The Family Council
Cdltor't note: Tho Family Council consist! of a Judg. a
phychutriit, three clercvmrn, three editors and a women's editor.
Kach article Is a summary of a family disagreement presented to the
Council. The Council deals with problems, major and minor,
encountered by guidance counselors and social workers. Edited by
by Mrs. Alma Denny. (Copyright by General Features Corp.)
Naneli J. - She paints, so
ihe expects everyone to hu
mor her.
Dorothy T. - I think a real
friend should feel for her
lriend.
e
Nanaita J. - Dotty is 57 and
ihe and I, and our families
before us, have always been
bosom friends. Now, out of
the blue, she decides she's an
artist and gives me strict or
ders not to call her during the
day because that's when she's
painting.
Her husband falls for that
temperament stuff, but not
me. I think she's just pushing
people around. Her "art"
doesn't amount to a hill of
beans. She just fell for her in
structor's "line," and now she
wants to chuck over every
thing else and just make mas
terpieces. She used to meet me for
lunch, or just chat on the
phone. But last time I called
she asked me to get to the
point, she had no time. No
time for her olacst friend.
She'll be sorry, giving up
friends for a hobby. She's
betting on the wrong horse.
e
Dorothy T. - Nan doesn't
understand that this is more
than a hobby to me. It's a
dream come true-the chance
at last to paint seriously.
Years ago it was a hobby.
While the children were grow
ing up, I played around with
oil paints and was able to be
a pal to everybody, including
Nan. But now it's full steam
ahead. I know I can't kid
around any more, if I want to
perfect my technique.
I'm not upstaging Nan. I
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know I'm no Cezanne, but I
want to give this the old Army
try. My instructor was a judge
in a local competition, and one
of my still lifes won third
prize. He says I have a real
talent. A neighbor Just paid
me $100 for my impression of
the williows on her lawn.
My true friends, and that in
cludes my wonderful husband,
cooperate. If my request to be
left alone bothers Nan, she's
no friend.
Tha Council: Careful. Na
nette, your envy is showing.
Can it be that because you
haven't the drive to pursue
a cultural interest intensively
yourself, you begrudge Doro
thy her chance to track down
a lifelong yen? You sound as
though you'd rather have her
pick you as her hobby.
Here Nanette has to squeeze
her fun out of the same old
tubes - gossipy phone calls,
shopping sprees, canasta and
mahjong, matinees and lunch
dates-while Dorothy gets hers
from a quiet communion be
tween herself and a canvas.
That's hard for Nanette to
comprehend, and accept.
So, a word on friendship.
Emerson says friends should
be like books, easy to find
when you need them, but sel-1
dom used. The pursuit of a
career need not cancel out
an old friendship. But it will
certainly test it. The old
forms of nourishment - chit
chat and outings-aren't avail
able to sustain it. It must coast
on the momentum of accumu
lated strength. Current time ;
and energy are earmarked pri-,
manly for the exciting new :
venture.
Nanette represents the type :
of friend who "uses" the 1
other, far and above her right, i
Dissatisfied herself, she op
poses any seeking of satisfac
tion by Dorothy which doesn't j
include her. She clings to
Dorothy with an unwarranted
possessiveness. Her salvation J
lies in finding other sources
of comfort and release. I
Whenever possible, of
course, Dorothy should invite
Nanette to make one of the
old-time midday phone calls,
if that's such a treat for the
latter. There are lulls in the
creative process. But, in gen
eral, Dorothy's request is rea
sonable and should be respect
ed. ;
. Dorothy isn't betting on the :
wrong horse. She's betting on I
her friends, the real ones who ;
are rooting for her, win or
lose. Looks as though she'd be
betting wrong on Nanette.
Dennis the Menace
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