12 6
WEDNESDAY. JULY 11. 1962
MEDFOHD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFORD, OREGON
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The Family Council
Editor's note: The Family Counrtl consists of a Judge,
tihvrhlatrlit. three elerrvmen. three edltori and a women's edlto
Each article la a iijtnmary of A family disagreement presented to the
Council. The Council dealt with problems, major and minor,
encountered by guidance counselors and social workers. Edited by
by Mrs. Alma Denny. (Copyright by General features corp.)
Hal W. - I have no feeling
for my wife and I've met
lomeone I love.
Angela W. - I hold a deep
feeling for him and he can
try to love me.
Hal W. - My wife had 13
years in which to arouse ny
feeling for her. Now it's loo
late. I've met a woman I love
deeply. Whether Angle agrees
to a divorc or not, there can
be no turning back for us
now.
-, Suddenly she's trying to be
come a loving wife. She's
even willing to stay with me
despite the fact that she
knows my heart belongs to
another. Where was she for
15 years? Not once did she
really warm up to me. She
always made me feel like a
heel and a brute.
Why did I keep trying so
long? Because we have three
children, two boys and a girl.
The younger son is very close
to me, tells me his problems
and cries for me at night. I
love the kids but I'd rather
not stay in the home. I'm
eager for Angle to admit the
marriage is dead and stop
trying to revive it.
Ana.lt W. - I'm 32 and Hal
and I have three wonderful
Children, aged 9 to 14. While
we were never what you d
call the perfect couple, we got
along quietly without many
spats. Imagine my horror,
then, when Hal informed me
he'd found a new love and
wanted to leave me for good.
All through the years he'd
apoken with contempt of peo
ple who split up and raise
their children In broken
homes. And now he wants to
do that very thing. Worse, nls
lady friend is a divorcee with
child, too. I
I'm terribly crushed by this.
His talk of having no feeling
towards me, of my being cold
is ridiculous. When we were
first married he told me he
was the luckiest man on
earth to have me. Later, he
cooled a bit when I had a few
blowups with his mother and
sisters. But he can't put all
the blame on me now. He's
just looking for excuses.
e
The Council: In one sense
a divorce is like a suicide -it's
a killing which may well
Pilot's Remains
Found in Wreck
Brlghtwood, Ore. - UTI' -The
remains of an Army Air
Corps pilot have been found
In the wreckage of a P-38
fighter plane hidden in the
depths of the Mt. Hood Na
tional Forest for two decades.
Two Army demolition ex
perls made the discovery aft
er reaching the wrecked
plane, found last week by a
V. S. Forest Service em
ployee, Ivan Erickson.
Old Army records at Ft.
Lewis, Wash., and the Presi
dio of San Francisco, Calif.,
lire being examined in hopes
of finding the name of ihe
dead pilot and the mission of
his ill-fated flight.
Old newspaper flics indi
cate an unidentified flier was
lost March 2.1, 1943. from a
formation about 100 miles
north of Portland.
Lt. Peter Davis, command
Jug officer of the 53rd Explo-
sive Ordnance Disposal Unit
Vancouver Barracks, Wash.,
and 1-Sgt. Mark Ashe Modi
fied the plane as a P-38 The
wreckage, covered an ac
bout 450. fedl. by rOJV
. aome 4 1 .Qjjr rjifr: 1s
Erlghtwoojlj
The Armja rii'tfi! sahra'
Uled to go into the area again
next week to remove live
, ammunition from three SO
caliber machine guns andjiif
plane'. 2, jmjj, tjarum.
v,.;:r-y.'V
be prevented. This time it's
a marriage that's being ended
deliberately, Instead of a life.
But psychologists have found
that most suicides throw out
feelers, give hints about their
intentions in the unconscious
hope that someone, anyone.
will stop them. Similanly,
parties to a dying marriage
often pray (despite external
protest) that a wise rescuer
(relative, friend, coun s e I o r,
clergyman or lawyer) will
succeed in talking them out
of their drastic solution.
Perhaps some blunt talk in
our limited space will start
a flow of second thoughts in
Hal's mind and the flipping
of new leaves in Angle's rec
ord-book.
First of all, Hal, why throw
away 15 years of "gctting-to-
know-you ? No matter how
greatly the divorcee appeals
to you, you must start from
scratch all over again learn
ing her likes, dislikes, habits
and crotchets. Lite's too short
to start and restart that sort
of intertwining with more
than one mate, unless said
mate is devastatingly impos
sible.
Secondly, is Angie really so
impossible? We doubt it in
view of the lovely children
you admit she s given you
and in view of her present
condonation, contrltcness and
desire to start anew. Our
earnest advice Is that you
stop short in your present
tracks and work with a mar
riage counselor - first, to
understand what went wrong
with you two; second, to look
coldly and squarely at your
new so-called "love" attack;
third, to guide you through
the first stages of Pnrt Two
of your marriage - the pnrt
where you both stick meticu
lously to your original vows
to fill each other's needs and
establish a firm home for
your children.
The only reason cited by
Hal is his loss of "feeling."
But feelings wax and wane,
and marriage was Invented to
hold people together through
both phases.
V is--
Si
NEXT
ISSUE
JULY
22nd
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Family
TVeelcly
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