I
ItoFORDiWrKIBUKI
"EveTyontTln Southern Oregon
Reads The Mll Tribune"
Published Dally except Saturday'by
MEDFORD PRINTING CO.
S3 North Fir Jt.. Ph. 772-61 1
ROBERT W RUHI.. Editor
m.TIB GREY. Advertising Manager
GERALD 1 LATHAM. Bui. Mir.
ERIC W ALLEN. JR . Mni Editor
EARL H ADAMS. City Editor
HARRY CHIPMAN. Tele. Editor
RICHARD JEWETT. Sports Editor
OLIVE STARCHER. Women's Editor
DALEERICKSON. Circulation Mgr;
An Independent Newapaper
Entered aa second class matter at
Medlord. Oregon, under Act of
March 3. 1897
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Flight o' Time
Medlord and Jackson County
History from the files of The
Mail Tribune 10, 20, 30, 40
nd SO years ago..
June 7, 1952 (Saeurday)
Widespread damage to
nogue valley agriculeutrel
crops was reported this morn
ing following an unprece
dented cold snap last night.
Frank Swacki, Jackson
county juvenile officer since
September, 1950, has sub
mitted his resignation.
20 YEARS AGO
June 7, 1942 (Sunday)
Navy announcement reveals'
loss of aircraft carrier Lex
ington at battle of Midway;
Chief G. E. Pattersonn, former
Medford recruiting officer,
aboard ship.
From Arthur Perry's "Ye
Smudge Pot" column: "Snnn
It will be Father's day, and
also one of the two longest
days in the year. All of the
days seem the longest to him,
(time Dads say."
nil YEARS AGO
June 7, 1932 (Tuesday)
Medford American Legion
post presents gold watch to
George Harrington as the
most outstanding athlete in
the high school, senior class.
Jackson County Game Pro
tective association requests ,
donations of more bantam
hens to hatch pheasant eggs
at state pheasant farm here.
40 YEARS AGO
June 7. 1922 (Wednesday) "
Medford auto accessories
store offers automobile tiros!
regularly costing $90iio for j
$68.20 each at "great bargain
nle."
Local men's store advertises
shirts for 9R cents, hals for 98
cents and suits for $12.45.
ho YEARS AGO
June 7. 1917 (Thursday)
Local man arrives from
Klamath Falls to Medford by
way of Crater lake on horse
back; predicts "machines will
howl along this summer on
the road being built by the
convicts'' from Union Creek
to the lake.
From the Local and Per
sonal column: Members of the
Mrdford city council are plan
ning an inspection trip lo Kish
waiVX "hea?,;;!0" for of
ture.
Whal's Your I.Q.?
Nina er ten carreer ! superior;
seven er eight it escellent; five Ol
tlx It good. ,
1. Is the Commonwealth
of Australia composed of
Slates or Provinces?
2. To which country do the
Azores Islands belong?
.1. With what university do
n.n,iLinir (11,- llrtllll' HI
Woodrow Wilson?
4. What is the largest spe
cies of amphibious reptiles?
5. What colloquial or slang
term is applied in Canada to
French Canadians'
What does the Latin term
ad valorem mean?
7. Which has the larger
area,
York
Pennsylvania
New
8. In 1916 Ihe stale militia
w mobilized for d i y
where?
R. What river flows for
1765 miles through Alaska?
10. What fuel lias been
widely used in rural Ireland?
Answers: 1. Slates, 2. Port
....i 4 n ; . a r
ii i , 4, r i uiiv lull , biut-u-j
riilM. 5. Canuck. B. Accord
ing lo alue. 7. New York
Stale. A. Mexican border, 0.
The Yukon. 10. Peat.
THURSDAY, JUNE 7. 196)
Why Medicare?
Why,' it is asked,, should the King-Anderson
bill for . medical care under social security be
passed when so many older people "don't need
it"?
Well, here is part of the answer. In her most
recent news letter, Senator Maurine Neuberger
reports these facts :
1. The Census Bureau reports 4fl per cent of fam
ilies whose head of household is over 65 have assets
convertible into cash of less than $200.
2. More than half the aged living alone or with
non-relatives have money Income of less than $1,000
a year. '
3. Forty-three per cent of the people BS or older
are chronically ill. '
4. Between 1950 and 1960 average hospital charges
. more. than doubled. !
5. The average daily hospital charge is now almost
$35.
6. The very recent cost-of-living index rise shows
the greatest increase in medical costs and services.
COR many millions of our older people, one
serious illness is the difference between a'dip
nified and self-supporting old age, and a dreary
existence on charity or welfare.
For- many millions of younger people, a se
rious illness of their parents means the differ
ence between college or no-college for their chil
dren. For nearly 30 years, the social security system
has made! old age easier and more comfortable
and more dignified than
The King-Anderson
of this philosophy and
cal employment of the powers of government as
defined by Abraham Lincoln to do for the peo
ple what they cannot do, or do as well, for them
selves. E.A. '
NeVer Surrender!
Men! 'Arise! Wake 'up and fight! They're
after you! ;
We refer, obviously, to an item which ap
peared oh the' Women's Page (of all sneaky
places) of the j Mail Tribune the other day. It
was a UPI story from Atlantic City, and it began
this way:
"Tuck in the waist line, .men, there's a one-button
jacket in the immediate future . . . 'The American
Envoy Model' is on the way . . . and it's termed the
forerunner of a new trend in men's clothing style.
"The American Envoy calls for a one-button square
shouldered jacket, fitted to curve in at the waist and
out at the hips. The trousers will be plain front with
one-quarter top pockets and plain bottoms instead of
cuffs recommended . . . (It) will be known by its
French simplicity of line and style effect, as evident
by the neat, double-piped pockets and plain unvented
back . . ,"
A LL these years we have taken comfort in the
fnt't. that, tho Ampvicpn tnalo uma rmt f 1 i L-o
v... .... v..
the female) a slave to fashion. He wore a suit, or
slacks and jacket, and gradually was winning his
way to the right to wear open-neck sports shirts
in the summer.
What changes in his
gradually. And sensibly.
And without gushy Ohs
editors." And if a man
year-old double-breasted
t; -e t i , . i - x
nlS " 1Ie W 011 lcl leC 11111 1 J
Are these great freedoms to vanish at the
whim of some Fancy, Dan fashion designer? Are
we headed back to the days of Reau Rrummel?
- THIS is the time to recall the rillivin.r words of
1 . . ., . "..,.
a Tatrick 1 lenry (' Liberty or death !") a Com-1
modore Dowev ( Damn
a General McAuliffe ("Nuts!!")
This is the time to recall Winston Churchill's
f 1 n I ovm In i f in- Pi v.-i f r i n linnili o Pi vU 1 r i-
,n vi-i iiiuidtufii iw l il;iiu Mil
me streets, tight in the nelrts, and never give up.
He also uttered the memorable phrase, which we
herewith adapt for our own, "This is arrant
nonsense up with which I will not put."
SNiirrnndni? Mnvnrl
i on have nothing to lose but your tucked-in
waistlines, one-button jackets and plain bottoms.
E.A.
Political Interpretation
Richard Nixon won
" "u "cimi i fiiuii'iy r.
way) was the face that his margin over Assem
blyman Shell was less than two to one a strong
indication that Nixon is hardly the unanimous
choice of California !epublieans, for whatever
reason.
The San Francisco Chronicle's pixyish col
umnist, Art lloppe, writing RIOKORE the'eleclion,
analyzed the results.
The outcome was decided, said the prescient
Mr. Ilopne, when Mr. Shell commented that the
" ,,lln
lurch Issue beclouded the election, and
"should be tossed out like a batch of unwanted
kittens."
THIS infuriated cat - lovers,
j Rut on the other hand, it
happy. And he went into
i. '.. !i. .... i .... i
,UH i""iiii"K "l
and ns relationship to urhan or rural surround
ings. He wound up saying:
"So there you have it. Mr. Kuril's firm stands
stirrer! up the animals, but the appealing solutions
he proposed were perhaps overly .simple The merits
of this campaign strategy were spelled out in Tues
day's vote. Whatever it was."
This is splendid political interpretation, su
perior, even, to the columnist who wrote an ad
vance story in 1!IS explaining why Dewey beat,
Truman. E.A.
ever before in histoiy.
pill is a logical extension
practice. It is also a logi
attire there were came
And without undue fuss.
and Ahs from "fashion
wanted to wear a five-
suit, he could do so (if,
the torpedoes . . . ), or
LUC ui. cil IIV.il, 1 IJi, 1 1 L t 11
Men of America arise!
the Republican nomi-
California, as expected
piTieti toy many, any
lloppe explains,
made cat - haters
intrimfo Hnt:it sw In
.i i. ,:. . , t:.
cai - nailiig ie was .spin,
"Sometime I Get A Little Tired Of Thii Pari"
4-1 ra
Communications
Letters lo the Editor must bear the name and address of the writer, although under
certain circumstances the use of a pen name or initial for publication is permissible.
The Mail Tribune reserves the riqht to edit all letters with a view to clarification and
condensation. Letters submitted for publication must not exceed 400 words. The eers
printed in this column do not necessarily represent the views of the paper; in faci. the
contrary is often the case.
More Funl
To the Editor, and Friends:
Stage coach station, a log
cabin at the north edge of
Jacksonville, held an opening
the second of June. Anyone
who didn't get there to enjoy
the fine parade, games, con
tests, the hanging, tricks, cats
and old time music just do
not know how much pleasure
they missed.
There were saddle horses,
ponies, mules, donkeys, stage
coach and hay rides. There
was a nice little Saanon goat
leading a boy in the parade:
the boy was hard to lead. A
real clown, too.
The east side of Jackson
Creek resembled a county
fairground; cotton candy and
all its acco mpan iments.
Sights? There were SOME!
I'm still laughing. Even In
dians were there to help keep
the scenery colorful.
Over 600 guests registered
in ihe little country store, , but
there were hundreds of those
who stayed outside.'
Old Sol failed us In the af
ternoon and many ran for
shelter in their cars and the
several old buildings, for
though the showers were in
tcrmiltent they were very
wet. . . ,
The rain let up so they did
have the evening songs around
the campfire.
Credit is due Mr. and Mrs.
George McUnc, Shorty Mill
iard and Dick Carter for let
ting tourists, as well as the na
tives, know that Jacksonville
Is no "ghost town."
We haven't had so much
fun since Adam had pups, and
if I had known that Trussel
was going lo snap my picture,
I'd have put my teeth in.
Bye now, be seeing yuh.
Pearl Spackman, . .
Jacksonville, Ore.
The Nature of Debate
To the Editor: Anyone who
engages in public discussion,
whether from a lecturer s ros
trum, debate platform, even a
pulpit or the forum of a news
paper's letters columns (and I
have shared them all), must he
prepared to receive both ac
claim and denunciation, tl
also have been on the receiv
ing end of both, but long ago
learned not to take either too
seriously.)
The recent elections offered
many examples of this among
aspirants to public office and
their supporters, and advo
cates or opponents of public
issues. High school debaters
also know well that even their
best forensic thrusts inevit
ably invite and receive coun-ter-thrusls.
It is of the nature
of debate.
to take issue with an op
ponent's arguments is in no
sense an attack upon his char
acter, integrity or reputation
(except in the relatively few
instances when demagogs,
lacking real issues or data to
support litem, sloop to such
base tactics in their efforts to
win support for ' themselves;
or among the totahtarians, lo
whom all opposition is a per
sonal offrnse not to he tol
erated). These observations are
promptiM by the rather irrele
vant responses in the MT of
6 5 by Mesrs .lames K. Shaf
er and David Smith, also
Mrs. David (.'. Bnals and Mrs.
Rita Shogven. of 6 6. to my pdscmcnt n( truth concerning tion restricted, and requiring
letter of 6 3 commenting i n,s ,,,1,11,. destroyer .You left ! a ffe. Most visitors to the
upon one by our junior high j with some good advice but 1 area have expressed appreci
school friend. John Casterline, no remedy. iation that such facilities and
in the issue of 5 26. My experience may help services are available to them
It has not heen my pleasure someone to escape the toils ! at such a reasonable amount,
lo meet John personally, as I of phvsical wreckage. Here it usually averaging less than 2.1
have so many other fine young
people of our local schools, rejecter1 by army, age 31 (to
llowcver, I have mi doubt he baccn heart 1. package, p.i k
merils the compliments paid ! age and a half per day. IV
him by his friends. That : cidrd to quit or die; going In
is beside Ihe point. II docs not die anyway. Body organs, all
follow that we are obliged to seemed In tail. Would not
agree on the nialtcr at issue, smoke. Decided to try whiskey
namely, mrdiraie tinder So- as a shmulant. No whiskey
clal Security. , in Washington Sia'r. nor in
Anyone convrtsant tilt (he 1
MEDFOHD
subject and having read
John's recent letter, could not
help noting the similarity
between many of his state
ments and those' of current
AMA propaganda against
medicare. Indeed, some of
thoss statements seem to have
been lifted right out of AMA
leaflets I have received. This
particular exercise appears to
reveal more of John's skill in
gathering and organizing his
material rather than his abil
ity in original composition.'
If John is as good a debater
as some Medford students I
have heard, he should be in
terested to test his compe
tence in taking the affirma
tive on medicare. He. would
find some MT editorials use
ful in such an endeavor, es
pecially that masterful one in
the 651 issue.
Arnold Eugene Jenny
Rogue Valley Manor
Medford . '
Sut .Speaks Again , ; '
To the Editor: and dear
friends in' Southwest Medford:
Here's ole Sut pultin' in
agin'. If they's anything I
hale, hits a smart alec, and
we got 'em in our family too.
Mostly on the wife's (Babe)
side of the house tho. Last
week her sister and brolhern-
law stopped by to see us on
their way to the World's Fair
and natural they staid all nite.
The iijxt mornin' Al, that's
Babe's brothernlaw, 'come
over to where I was standin'
on a nail keg nailin' up a
ceiling joist. Al, he stood and
looked around a while and
dreckly he says . . "Fer
pete sake, Sut", he says,
"don't you have a level or a
square or even a miter box,
and what in the evcr-lovin-heck
are you doing .with that
yard stick nailed on a board?"
Then he looked around al
the neighbors' next door. The
mister was painlin' the house
and his missus was sprayin
her flowers. The folks on the
far side of me was pultin'
up a rack for their roses and
mowin' the lawn. Al, he kept
lookin' around and purty soon
he says, "Sut ain't you asham
ed of yourself for clutterin
up such a nice neighborhood
like this? You. know you
couldn't get away with this
kind of buildin' back home
no more." "Wal," I said, "Jest
why do you reckon I moved
away from there and settled
out here?" Al looked kind of
sick and kicked a board. "You
mean," he says "That you are
allowed to build a house with
no foundation, no provision
for plumbing, no safety regu
lations for electric wiring and
and no flue?" "Yep," I answer-
Jed. "Nobody, but nobody can
push me around and tell me
wnat o go ana wnat no, ,o
when they ain't any."
"What do your neighbors
think about all this?" he ast !
me. "I don't know and 1 rare I
less." I said. "If they don't
like it they can always buy
trie out."
Love to all
Sut
I Real name on file)
Medford
Temples of the Spirit
To the Editor: Your article.
"The Noxious (But Lovely)
Weed" April 8, was outstand
ing and tinirlv in acknnwl-
is. Bccan smoking, age 14,
Oicgnti. Armistice I g n ri. j
MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFORD,
In Dusty,
Follow Peaceful Pursuits in Neutrality
By PHIL NEWSOM
UPI Foreign News Analyst
Vientiane, Laos UPU Life
is leisurely in Vientiane, and
in its dusty streets there is
no hint that
this is a cen
ter of world
tensions.
Along its two
main streets,
pedicab. driv
ers lean into
their handle
fa a r s, towing
passengers on
Kewsom - errands which
have no urgency, and in their
open-front shops Vietnamese,
Thai or Chinese merchants
flick their mops in a tolerant
war against the dust which
drifts over floors, counters
and merchandise.
Coconut palms rustling In
the hot wind, the brilliant red
blossoms of the flame trees
and the neat,, high - peaked
white stucco houses of former
French' colonial administra
tors create the atmosphere of
California, Mecca for imbib
ers beckoned. Had mined and
prospected in the vicinity of
Hornbrook on two different
occasions and was acquainted
there. Old friends seemed to
enjoy my exuberance and
joined me in activities.
One evening a gentleman
said to me, "Come on, Jim,
have a cigarette," and do you
know, I took It; then I had
two habits, killers both. Oh!
the weakness, the frailty of
me. That is the way it wound
up when I tried to quit them
in my own power.
But allow me to say when
I took my troubles to Jesus
the result was different. I
knelt down beside my bed
and requested Him to 'take
away the craving for tobacco
and' cigarettes and that is
exactly what He did for me
in a single night. Praise His
Name. The Power is in His
Name. Our bodies, are -the
temple of His Spirit. He wants
us healthy, and .well. Three
other men have tried this pro
cess, to my knowledge, and
have been absolutely cured.
Try it. If at any time you are
again tempted, ask at once
for the strength. "We wrestle
not with flesh and blood, but
against principalities, against
powers, against the rulers of
the darkness of this world,
against spiritual wickedness
in high places." (Eph. 6:12.)
James J. Williams
203 G St.
Jacksonville, Ore.
Regulations Explained
To the Editor: We were
very sorry to read in June 6
Communications that there
are still misunderstandings re
garding the use regulations in
effect at The Howard Prairie
Recreation Area. We will try
and explain here, in brief,
such regulations as are in ef
fect. Anyone, at any time, is
welcome to make a direct in
quiry for information at the
store at Howard Prairie, or
at our store in Medford.
The central parking,
launching, and picnic area are
open free to public daytime
use.
The two campgrounds north
and south of the central area
have been set up specifically
for overnight camping. They
are prominently identified as
follows: "Camping Area, $1
per car per day, please secure
permit at the store."
These areas provide to the
users of the areas modern rest
rooms, picnic tables, fire
places, fuel and water. The
contract between Jackson
county and ourselves requires
that we provide complete
maintenance and supervision
of the area on a 24 hour per
, Da,S
, Thp fnnds , provitp M,ch
maintenance and service
come from the users of the
area at the rate of SI per car.
We pay the county a per
centage of those funds to re
tire the capital investment by
the county. When the posted
signs are ignored, our person
nel are required to follow up
on such users of the area and
issue them a permit. This is a
cosily and annoying proce
dure for both parties.
There are over 22 miles of
shoreline open for bank fish
ermen, with the improved
camping areas the only por
cents per person per' day and
night. The same reaction has
been registered regarding the
quality, cleanliness, and ac
ccssibilily of i'iic boats that
we rent plus the personal
service rendered at our Hock.
Let everyone who did not
attend "the open to Ihe pub
lic'' planning and negotiating
sessions W illi the park com-
(t4
OREGON
Leisurely Vientiane,
a colonial city at the turn of
the century. They add to tha
illusion of a people living in
a more peaceful, less urgent
time.
Nor is it an illusion, for
the Laotians are a people to
whom urgency is foreign,
whether it be in work or war.
In contrast to the terrorism
which occasionally breaks out
in Saigon and is a way of life
in Algiers, there is none of
that' here.
If there are Pathct Lao in
Vientiane, they come only as
Laotians, perhaps only to pur
chase small transistor radios,
which are favorite equipment
among the guerrillas. Hotel
room doors are left unlocked,
for thievery is not a sin of
the Laotians. - .
The United States has little
to show for its $300 million
Today & Tomorrow
By Walter Lippmann ' .'
(Cl New York Herald Tribune Syndicate
These seem to be PROB
LEM DAYS in the news.
Astronaut Carpenter re
ports that when he was whiz
zing around the earth out
there in space his candy melt
ed and his cookies crumbled.
The candy problem is sim
ple enough. Candy melts
when it gets hot, and the
temperatures in Carpenter's
capsule ran as high as 105.
The cookie problem is more
complicated. The cookies ap
parently j u st DISINTE
GRATED. '
THE cookie problem has two
of our gigantic corpora
tions stumped. They admit
they don't know what caused
the crumbling. They are
awaiting further reports from
the government on just what
happened. But, they say, they
stand ready to push research
on the subject to the hilt.
One of their experts, how
ever, makes it plan that it
will be more a patriotic labor
of love than any urge for
profits; He adds: "We don't
expect food for astronauts to
become a big volume item
at least very soon."
(tARPENTER himself is ob
' viously a pragmatist. He
says the cookie snacks were
contained in an OPAQUE bag
and he thinks at least they
ought to.be put in a TRANS
PARENT sack "so that a fel
low can see the crumbs and
take steps to keep Ihem from
falling out. on the floor."
pROBLEM No. 2:
T A while back, some of our
carpet manufacturers got into
trouble. They were being un
dersold on certain types by
Belgian manufacturers. So we
DOUBLED THE TARIFF on
these types of Belgian carpets.
In retaliation, the European
Common Market, of which
Belgium is a member, an
nounces that it will increase
mission, the county court, and
ourselves, be assured that the
taxpayer and citizens of this
area were ably represented,
thoroughly protected, and the
recipients of a most favorable
contract.
Bob Johnston
Johnston Stores
Medford.
Zest for Life
'lo the Editor: No one re
ceives more or less of time
each day. We all get the same
amount and are not rewarded
with more lime or punished
for wasting the commodity.
How the years slip by, and
we sit around wishfully think
ing we will "do something"
wnen we find enough time.
We not only get into ruts, we
get dangerously content in
those mires. In time we for
get we ever had dreams and
ideals we wanted to accom
plish. Imagine the wasted tal
ents lying dormant waiting
and waiting for the "time''
to be perfect for germination.
We're all too afraid of failure
and never just jump in and
try out our talents.
Right now 1 am young and
have three pre-school children
with a fourth supposedly due
tomorrow. My dream is to
try to help each child find
and know himself for his fu
ture happiness. Books are an
important part of each of
their and my days. From
them we learn how to grow
worms, to how to listen to
music.
If my daughter grows up
thinking a spotless house is
the most important thing, or
my son thinks his 8 to 5 job
and paycheck is it, then I will
feel embarrassed for them,
and our country.
While accomplishing house
hold tasks I reflect on my
reading and the work goes
faster. The more we reflect or
think, the more reasonable
and effective we will become.
Hence happiness, accomplish
ment of our dreams and
id.-a.s. will result.
Imagine waking up wilh a
rst for life when thai alarm
rings.
Mrs Janirs Anderson
Route 3, Box 61
Medford.
investment in Laos. Open sew
ers run along Vientiane's
streets and the city has no
water supply. Buildings still
show the scars of machinegun
and mortar fire which erupt
ed in the coup of 1960, de
posing neutralist Souvanna
Phouma and installing Prince
Boun Oum. '
But to the people of Laos
these, no more than the com
munism which threatens to
engulf their country by force,
are matters of small concern.
Of more concern is the new
fountain which the govern
ment has built in the center
of the sun-baked city square.
When it is running in the eve
ning, they gather by the score
to watch the play of the water.
By nature the Laotian is a
neutral.
duties as much as 100 per
cent on five classes of Ameri
can products that enter into
competition with Belgian
products.
The point is that hiking
tariffs is a game that two
can play.
WHAT can we do about it?
If we do nothing but
hike tariffs, we'll soon reach
the point where we'll have to
depend wholly on our own
DOMESTIC markct-and there
are already signs that our
capacity to produce is begin
ning to exceed our capacity
to consume at existing prices
the products of our domestic
industry.
Getting o u r production
costs down to the point where
we can sell in competition
with foreign producers is be
ginning to look like one of
our BIG problems. 1
riiHAT brings up automation.
-- Is it the wicked ogre
who will destroy us?
Or is it the friend in need
who will SAVE US?
ONE more problem:
On a main highway in
Georgia, A. Edward Smith,
GOP candidate for governor
of Georgia, is killed in an
auto crash. Patrol authorities
report that his car CROSSED
THE CENTER LINE and
crashed into an approaching
truck. ' .'
The problem:
How are we to keep drivers
from crossing-at places where
they shouldn't-the center line
in the highway-that narrow
strip that SEPARATES LIFE
FROM DEATH?
Aufo Industry
Sets Sales Record
Detroit - IIIPD The auto in
dustry set a 79-month -sales
record in May, wilh purchases
averaging one new car every
two seconds, Ward's reports
said today. -
The statistical agency said
May sales totaled 656,837
units. This gave Ihe industry
its third 600.000 sales month
in a row, with May volume
alone the best for any month
since 657.500 retailed in Sep
tember, 1955.
General Motors look 58.1
per cent of the May auto mar
ket, eclipsing their high mark
for 1962 of 57.4 per cent set
in February. Ford Motor Co.'s
share was 26.1 per cent,
Chrysler's 8 6 per cent, Amer
ican Motors' 6.2 per cent and
Studebaker's 1 per cent.
Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF
A BOARD a luxury liner bound from Le Havre to New
n York. one elderly first-class passenger was boasting to
a chance acquaintance of comparable vintage, about a won
derful new watering
spot he had discovered m
Austria. "I don't know
what chemical qualities
the water there con
tains," he declared, "but
I do know it's guaran
teed lo take twenty years
off of anybody's life."
When the acquaintance
registered acutej skeptic
ism, the elderly gentle
man produced his clinch
ing argument. "You'll be
lieve me," he crowed,
"when I tell you of my
own experience there, I
arrived with a beautiful female friend who was 13 yea.s old
and in three days she disappeared!"
How can you nay you're lonesome?" snothM a nmther to a
3-year-old who didn't like to go to sleep in the dark. "Tou'rei
really not alone t all. God is with you. and you have your twa
favonte dolis right in bed besiie you." "I know," sobbd the)
little girt, "but I want somebody with skin on their face."
A mousey littlf man was hauled into court for beating up his
wife a formidable, Amazonian creature. The judge. trH,"f to
conceal a certain amount of admiration, demanded, ''Whit ca-n
over you?" The little man explained, "Well, Your Honor, she)
had her hack to me. the fire poker was handy, ani the beck Joo
was open. So I took a chance: ;
C 1X3. or Beuetl Ctrl Cutribuud b Kisg
Laotians
When Phoumi or Boun Oum
speak of a war to the death
against communism or accuse)
the United States of deserting
them, the Laotian couldn't
care less.
Let the Indians, the Thal.
or the Chinese become the
merchants and let others fight
the wars.
Strictly
Personal
By Sydney J. Harris
lc- Nelrt Fnterprlse Inc.
PERSONAL PREJUDICES
The blending of opposite.!
is usually the best course for
the body politic, as it is foe
the body physical, but the)
hardest to achieve; yet we can
see its value In medicine)
where, if we require radical
surgery, we put ourselves into
the hands of a conservative
surgeon. What a woman really
wants Is a man who is
sturdy, self-reliant, inde
pendent, courageous, domi
nating - and will obey her
slightest whim.
Speaking of the Inanity of
most lectures, as I was yes
terday, reminded me of Am
brose Bierce's tart definition
of a lecturer as "a man with
his hand in your pocket, his
tongue in your ear, and his
faith in your patience."
We have not passed that
subtle line between child
hood and adulthood until
we move from ihe passive
voice to the active voice -that
is, until we have stop
ped saying "It got lost,"
and say, "I lost it."
The most common way of
committing suicide is not by
violence, but by inertia; not
by shooting or stabbing one
self suddenly, but by stunning
oneself over a long period.
Every cosmic problem
has its microcosmic equiv
alent: when we ask why
the world continues to have
wars when most people
don't want wars., we must
ask ourselves why millions
of us continue to puff at
cigarets when we know
that smoking is bad for us,
and might be fatal.
A university should more)
properly be called a "multi-versity'-because
instead of
trying to unify and coordinate)
human knowledge, It splits it
into a hundred subjects, each
filled with specialists who
know little, if anything, about
the relationship o their sub
ject to others.
It is the basic delusion
of young people that they
are going to live forever,
but that at the same time
they are never going to
grow old, or be as decrepit
as their grandparents; and
thus it is impossible to dis
cuss the passage of time ra
tionally wilh youngsters.
If our latter-day Puritans
really knew how to read
Shakespeare, they would
scream for his plays and
poems lo be stricken from tha
nation's libraries, because of
the vast amounts of "obscen
ity" in them. (For evidence,
consult Eric Partridge's learn
ed work, "Shakespeare's
Bawdry. )
The most beautiful and
attractively groomed and
costumed woman in ihe
world is unappealing if her
mouth is hard, her eyes are
sullen, and her expression
is bored or greedy-as is so
often the case.
Laughter runs tha longest
gamut of any human emotion!
from innocent joy to the)
coarsest cruelty.
1
GoN
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