Too Much?
By JOSEPH NEWTON
o msm mm
Several months ago, I accompanied my wife to a local
department store to pick out a wedding gift for the
. daughter of a casual friend. We visited the '"Wedding Bureau"-of
the store, where the prospective bride and groom
had registered their preferences for all types of gifts.
On the surface, this seems like a reasonable sort of thing.
It prevents the couple from getting a' hodgepodge of gifts
that have to be exchanged, and makes selection easier. But
a more thoughtful examination raises some doubts.
Take the gift we were seeking. We were greeted in the
"Wedding Bureau" by a well-tailored lady who looked up
our couple in an ostentatious, gold-crested registration
book. She then informed us we could buy the bride and
groom a place setting of silver (for $27), a setting of china
(for $23),' or if we didn't want to go quite that high, we
could buy a piece of crystal for only $12.
"What," I asked, "if we don't want to go that high?"
She was puzzled; apparently this question hadn't been
raised before.
"Look," I explained, "this is for the daughter of a casual
business friend. We scarcely know her. We just want to say
'good luck' in-an unpretentious sort of way."
After several minutes of disapproving research, she told
us that the most economical item we could buy within the
couple's registered preferences was a towel for $5. My
wife and I have been married 17 years and have never
owned a $5 towel, but we settled for the towel, anyway.
I was curious enough to take a look at the gifts after the
reception (to which our towel won us an invitation). The
room where the gifts were displayed looked like a .well
stocked Fifth Avenue shop. There must have been several
thousand dollars worth of expensive luxury items. And this
was no society wedding. I suspect that the parents had
never owned or ever expect to own three-fourths of the
items their children collected. '
Since then, ' I've attended other wedding receptions to
satisfy the same curiosity. They're all alike loaded with
expensive loot piled high, . wide, and handsome. And
not just from close friends and relatives, but much of it
from casual friends and business acquaintances. .
I understand now. what a minister friend of ours meant
when he said: "Sometimes I think' I should begin the cere
mony with: 'Dearly beloved, casual acquaintances, and
business associates of the parents, we are gathered here
in the presence of a complete set of silver, china, glassware,
and linen to join in holy matrimony ...' "
One-third of the 15 million marriages taking place in the
United States this year will be large, formal assem
blages of 100 to 300 guests, costing from $1,500 up but av
eraging about $3,000. A recent survey of 1,000 middle
income families showed that the bride's father spent 20 per
cent of his gross annual income to marry off his daughter.
Fathers often go deep in debt to give their daughters
opulent weddings. And the largesse seldom stops there.
With growing frequency, it extends into putting the mar
ried couples through college and setting them up in house
keeping in a- manner far beyond their immediate means.
What's the purpose of this plush system by which we
inundate our children with expensive gifts? Is this really
the way to help them find self-respect and live a full and
purposeful life? x
There's an immense amount of satisfaction in earning the
good things of life. Many of today's youngsters have never
had the chance. They're handed so many luxuries as gifts
. (Continued)
Family Wakly, April 23, 1M1 11
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