Quips and Quotes
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Day of Wreck-onlng
Today I hold my head up high, - - s
Today my spirits soar.
Today I kicked my complex out
And picked my ego of the floor.
Today will live in history,
A triumph for tte female gender;
Today the worm has finally turned
Today my husband creased the fender!
Suzanne Douglass
A father who wants his children to get an
education these day may have to pull a few
wires the television wire, the hi-fi wire, and
the radio wire. ' Lavonne Mathison
The suburbs are where everything is far-'
ther away except the first of the month,
1 . Franklin P. Jones
. Much against his better judgment, Father loaned
his teen-age daughter his new sports car. An hour
later, he got a call from her. "The car isn't work
ing, Daddy," she said.
"What happened?" he asked with sinking heart.
"It's very curious," she explained. "I met two
fellows from school, and they wanted to race. I
said I would, and I looked down at the gearshift
There was one marked 'L,' which I thought was
'Leap,' so I shifted into that. But I didn't get much
pickup, so I looked again and tried 'D,' which I
. thought meant 'Drag.' But the boys still outdis
tanced me. So then I spotted 'R,' and I just knew
that meant 'Race," so I shoved that and Daddy!
Daddy! Speak to me, Daddy!" -
Hi, Rube!
The only guys really sweating out baseball train
ing this season-are the teams' press agents. It's up
to them to maintain baseball's hallowed image of
the typical rookie--a semiliterate hick just up from
the farm. Here's how things are working out as
the leagues swing into the 1961 season:
High Cy Belden: Outfielder. Bats left-handed.
Hit .345 for Cornopolis last year. Noted for tall-tale
telling. Master's degree, Dartmouth, '59;- plans for
Columbia doctorate by '64.
Long Pants Patty Norman: Left-handed pitcher.
Went 35 scoreless innings with Highacres last year.
Favorite of TV-radio interviewers because of
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NOW. . . GO GLOBE-TEt&TTING RIGHT AT VOC OWN TABLE
NG&R&D BY FARA WAY PLACES AND BLENDED FOfZ, YOU BY KR&FT
in mi T'fTT -niMiif
fkssit riit kmwm
Kraft Italian Dressing true Italian style,
Ungy and tantalising. Sunny oil and vine
gar, vividly seasoned with herbs, spices and
garlic to brighten your salad bowl.
Roka Bine Cheese Dressing the mellow
Old World flavor of aged blue cheese in a
new dressing that pours like thick coun
try cream. Try it on head lettuce or pears.
Casino Dressing a sophisticated blend of
herbs and spices spiked with garlic and
tomato as high-spirited and delicious as
the Continental recipe that inspired it.
Catalina Dressing with a bow to the salad
genius of our own adventuresome West,
comes Catalina. It has a sweet, tomato-and-spice
tang, and clings thick and flavorfully.
S7UNNNG NEW B6ITtES..JREf'RE TZBLM-NiCE AND SO EASfld POUR FROM!
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