8
MOHDAY, MARCH 13, 1961
MEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFORD, ORE.
They'll Do It Every Time
By Jimmy Hatlo
1me question before
the house todav is:
whv do thev have
a two-tom weddin&
cake that takes six
waiters to carrv ih
???
AND THEN SERVE
SLICES THE SIZE OF
A BOOK OF MATCHES'"
OF WHICH VOU'RE SUP
POSED TO EAT SOME
AND PUT SOME UNDER.
YOUR PILLOW??
OF SMITH & MEN
Bv Jack Smith
(n I960 Tlmei-Mirror Syndicate
It's a good thing I've al
ready got a job. I might as
well figure on staying where
I am for life.
With all these new tech
niques and machines for test
ing applicants for jobs I
doubt if I could get a job rack
ing balls in a poolhall.
: The days are gone when all
the city editor gave a reporter
was a sobriety test and made
him type "the little red fox
Jumps over the lazy brown
dog's back" with two fingers.
Now they look at your
teeth, X-ray your chest, test
your IQ and your emotional
profile and make you tell
them what you see In an ink
blot. One young fellow I know
who went through this ordeal
thought it must be a genetics
test. .
: I might survive some of
these tests. I'm good at ink
blots. But now an outfit called
Truth Verification, Inc., in
Texas, Is being engaged by big
companies to give job appli
cants lie detector tests.
"The rubber hose is'slretch
ed across your chest," the firm
says. "Then the electrode is
placed in your hand. The gray
cloth of the blood pressure
machine is wrapped around
your arm."
I'd be cooked right there.
I'm the kind who always
imagines the worst. Airplanes
crash. Elevators fall.
If they strapped me in a
lie detector machine I'd imag
ine I was being electrocuted
for a crime of passion. I'd be
innocent, of course, but that
would only make it worse. In
justice makes my blood boll.
My blood pressure is odd
anyway. It goes up when they
try to measure it. The last
time a doctor took my blood
The Family Council
Ptlltnr't htnlMi 1'h tfnxilli rnnnrll rntixlltj of ft IlldeO. a DSyChlR-
trlit, thrill clergymen, three edttora and a women'! editor. Each article
ll a lummary or an actual case nislory. -me Lmincii repmu h i.
lemi that have been dealt with by responsible agencies and counselor!.
(Copyright 1961 General Feature! Corp.)
Agnus M. - My fiance and
I can't finance a wedding
reception.
Mrs. N. M. - Then, postpone
the wedding until you can.
Agnes M. - Newton and I
are getting married soon.
We're both over 21, and know
exactly what we're doing. We
each have good jobs and have
been able to save up enough
money to just about cover the
cost of furnishing an apart
ment. For that reason, we are
quite prepared to have a very
small wedding and no recep
tion. To my surprise, my parents
are insisting on a reception
even though they cannot af
ford to pay for one. Neither
can Newt and I,
My mother's solution to the
problem is for us to postpone
our wedding and save up for
a formal wedding at a Mass in
a bridal gown, with a recep
tion for friends and relatives
right after. Otherwise, she
stays, we might as well elope.
We don't want to delay our
marriage. At the same time,
we don't want any hard feel
ings. Should we compromise
our position In this dispute?
Mrs. N. M. - What's the big
rush with Agnes and Newt?
She was just 21 Inst month,
and he's 22. Just as they saved
up for their home, let them
save up a little more and have
a beautiful wedding.
How can Agnes put on a
wedding-gown and veil and be
married at a Nuptial Mass in
front of all the family and
friends, and then just shnkc
hands and say good-bye out
side the church? It's ridicu
lous, but that's what she has
in mind. x
I've told Agnes, either she
does it right, from top to bot
tom, with a veil and a pro-;
cession and a reception alter ,
the ceremony and the Mass,
or she Just gets married quiet
ly in a plain dress with none!
of the family or friends i
around, except as witnesses.
The Councili It may seem
like a "big rush" to Mrs. M.
but, to Agnes and Newton no
doubt, it's been an eternity -collecting
the little nest-egg
for their little nest. So post
ponement, for the purpose of
a "suitable" post-nuptial wlng-1
ding, is not one of our recom
mendations. Instead, Agnes can proceed
with arrangements which in-1
elude the one essentlnl-thc;
religious ceremony in church
which she wants-and as many
of the non-essential embellish
ments as the bank-account
permits.
It's natural for this prospec
tive bride to dream of herself
marching down a long aisle in
a flower-filled church, to
sweet organ strains and the
chiming of wedding-bells. But
Agnei must choose between
"the main course" and the
trimmings. Since she can't
have both, we know what her
choice must be. :
After conferring with our
Catholic advisers, we can sug
gest a few compromises, not
with the date and budget as
Mrs. M. requests, but between
the festive pageantry Agnes
envisions and the brcad-and
butter rites she can afford.
She and Newton may be
married at any "low mass. In
any garb she wishes. A spe
cial nuptial mass is not neces
sary. Or, she can dress to the
gills and slip into the church
"through tile side-door," for
an afternoon wedding, with
out a mass.
As for a "reception," this
can be anything from the
snaring oi a ooitie oi cnnnv
pagnc among the principals
and witnesses, to entertaining
a small, specially-invited
group at anybody's home
which can hold the bunch."
Refreshments can surely bo
"scared-up.
. Most important, Agnes -
don t overdramatlzo your
problem. Your parents will
accept your decision, and
you'll wind up with nice
memories of the dny,-fewer
lemonade pitchers, perhaps,
out no debts and no regrets.
pressure he turned pale and
cried, "Great Scott, man!
You're going off salt."
I was off salt a month be
fore we found out It was only
nerves.
"You'd never be able to
take a lie detector test," the
doctor told me, "You'd mur
der it."
After you're strapped in
this chair, says the company,
In a quiet, slow voice, the
man asks you questions - Is
your name Jack Collins? Have
you ever stolen irom your
employer?"
Well, of course my name
isn't Jack Collins, so I could
get out of that all right. The
next question is tougher.
I've never actually stolen.
Certainly not. But there was
that time I came out $10 short
on an expense account and
put down $10 for tooth paste.
The editor called me in his
office. I'd never been in there
before. I was surprised to find
out that the editor was a kind
of purple-colored man.
'How can you spend $10
for tooth paste on a two-day
trip?" he shouted.
As a representative of you
and your newspaper," I ex
plained, I wanted my teeth
to be as clean as possible. .
He didn t fire me. He knew
my strengths and weaknesses.
But do you suppose any pros
pective employer, not having
any way of detecting any
strengths, unless they showed
up in my ink blots, would hire
me if they found out about
the tooth paste? Not likely
But if I answered no, saying
I d never stolen from an cm
ployor. I'd remember the
tooth paste and my blood
would shoot up.
I might as well just tell the
lie detector I was really Jack
Collins after all and was
wanted for escape from Joliet.
FTC To Investigate
Department Stores
Washington - HIPI) - The
Federal Trade Commission
(FTC) announced Saturday it
has started an investigation
to see if 213 of the nation's
leading department stores ac
cept illegal kickbneks I r o m
clothing suppliers.
The FTC said it has de
manded to know if the stores
or 10 purchasing agents for
groups of stores have received
"Illegal favoritism in adver
tising nnd other allowances."
Questionnaires were sent to
the stores requiring detailed
replies within 45 days on
whether they have accepted
discounts, rebates or valuable
services in connection with
merchandising of wearing ap
parol.
X'
6 INTEREST
PAID SEMI-ANNUALLY
Withdraw principal and all accrued Interest
whenever you choose. Any multiple of $10.00
accepted.
Name of Board of Directors on Request
CRATER FINANCE
135 PINE fJS3?T" NO 4-1273
Lenten Message
By THE
REV. DR. BILLY GRAHAM
Baptist Evangelist
(Written for UPI)
Earth never knew a darker
day than that first Good Fri
day when the Prince of Glory
died. But earth's most tragic
day was transformed into
earth's gladdest day for it
marked the end of sin and
checked its rule over the
hearts and lives of earth's
people.
When Jesus lifted up His
voice and cried, "It is finish
ed," He did not mean that His
life was ebbing away or that
God's plan had been foiled.
Though death was near, He
realized that the last obstacles
had been hurdled, the last
enemy had been destroyed,
and that He had successfully
and triumphantly completed
the task of redemption.
By His death on the cross,
He had removed the last bar
rier between God and man,
and with the words, "It is
finished," He announced that
the road from man to God
was completed and open to
traffic.
Modern man would like to
make of the cross a thing of
sentiment ... trinket to be
worn around the neck ... an
ornament on a church steeple
. . . or an emblem stamped in
gold Ink on our Bibles. But
the cross symbolizes man's
utter helplessness to save him
self . , . and the intensity of
God's love. There is an ele
ment of mystery in the cross
of Christ that cannot be un
derstood with our natural
minds.
But I do know that all who
by faith test its power dis
cover that it can wonderfully
change their lives and lift
them to a higher plane of
living.
MANAGER NAMED
Portland - (UPD-A. V. Smith
of Portland has been named
to the newly-created position
of economic and industrial de
velopment manager for Paci
fic Telephone Northwest in
Oregon.
Actress' Dog
Draws Acquittal
Los Angeles - fiJPD - Actress
Patrice Wymore, widow of
Errol Flynn, Friday won dis
missal of a $25,000 suit filed
by a woman who claimed the
actress' dog caused her to trip
and fall.
Mrs. Zori Jannlngs claimed
the accident involving Miss
Wymore's wire-haired terrier
Zut - occurred in 1958.
REWEDS HUBBY NO. 3
Hollywood r - Actress
Jane Wyman, 46, has rewed
husband No. 3, bandleader
Freddie Karger. The couple,
divorced after three years of
marriage in 1954, remarried
Saturday in Newport Beach,
Calif.
ATTENTION
NAME
ADDRESS
With no obligation, please send me full detail
of the prepaid hospital-doctor plan of . . .
SOUTHERN OREGON HEALTH SERVICE
16 South Bartlett, Medford SP 2-6582
Established and Active In Southern Oregon
As a Health Co-operative Since 1943
-
Lei "Magic 9" Values be your guide
lo big first-of-lhe-week savings!
Highway.
Flavorfull
Gerber's Baby Food
Pork and Beans
orreli's Snack
eSSV.onte Beans
Strained varieties.
Limit, please
4Vz-oz.
can
5
2VS
cans
luncheon meat.
Grand hot or cold.
Fancy cut green.
12-oz.
can
303
cans
9'
99'
39'
89'
Magic 9 Town House Values
GRAPEFRUIT SECTIONS
APRICOT HALVES PEARS
SLICED CLING PEACHES
FRUIT COCKTAIL
Mix 'em
or
Match 'em!
8-or. M
cans 2 jf
Gebhardt's Chili 49c Toilet Tissue ,12 .... 89c
Santiani Corn r::1', 5 - 99c Wesson Oil ESS ,49c
Instant Coffee "" 84c Cigarettes SJi SU9
Apple Juice ilX s" 29c Skylark Rye Bread 23c
Sweet Pickles I'l,,,.. 55c Crunch Bread EC- IT 29c
Del Monte Sweet Dills T 49c Paas Egg Dyes";;:9 c::"" 39c
You'll enjoy Finest Quality
"Kitchen Fresh"
Roxbury Easli
Candies
We have a complete assortment of jelly and marsh
mallow eggs and pets . , . chocolate covered treats
too. Made wtih finest ingredients especially to please
your kiddiesl
For EXTRA Savings ... WE GIVE
GOLD BOND Stamps
Redeem your filled books for valuable gifts you've
always wantedl
10-lb.
bag
Spring-Fresh Produce From Our "Garden Room"
No. 1 Russet Potatoes
Crisp Spring Carrots
Yellow Medium Onions
Premium
graded
Grand cooked
or raw
Perfect
with liver
9
9
38 .
GREEN ONIONS
RADISHES
Mild flavor, big bunches, garden fresh!
Give added zest ai.d
flavor to your
tossed salad.
Bun.
Repeating Game No. 8 of
"Cross-out for Gash"
11 12 16 19
24 28 31 32 J0M
36 39 43 44 48 M
52 56 59 64
67 68 71 ' jfe yW
92 96 99 ;''i'PP I
tor. m. mi. its, wt. mi. int. lo i li-'Wik. IT " -
t "Cross our- ad, co. inc. BiiiiwaAaikv- tm fiii'i fejJa&'&aflKffa
NOW OVER 2500 WINNERS
Congratulations to $100 winners.
Alen Storgaard, Vancouver, Wn.
tula M. Fletcher, Salem, Ore.
Mrs. P. E. Prince, Longview, Wash.
Steero Cubes
Beef Bouillon
Head Lettuce
Large, firm
solid heads
Pkg.
of 12
23
2-29'
Red Grapefruit
Coachella Valley
sun drenched.
5
lb. bag
Fluffy All
Detergent
3-lb.
pkg.
89
Hershey's Cocoa
Instant Mixing
38-oz.
can
85
Surf
Detergent
45'j-oi.
pkg.
87'
Manor House Buttered, Frozen
BEEF STEAKS
12V4-OZ. Pkg pkg. of 4
59
59
59
SWANSON MEAT PIES
Beef L
aver n Bacon
Link Sausage DoliceIy
seasoned a breakfast favorite. lb.
Halibut Steaks SeWj
finest for Lenten meals. lb
Chicken, Turkey or Beef
Just Heat 'n Serve
8-oi. Each
Young steer beef liver
. . . skinned and sliced
the thickness you like it.
Prices effective Monday
t h r o u gh Wednesday,
March 15, at Safeway
in Medford. We reserve
the right to limit.
lb.
Sliced Bacon
Lean, flavorful, fully
smoked. Convenient
layer package.
Mb.