Try and Stop Me
I 1 By BENNETT CERF
A RICH DOWAGER, out to big some big game In Africa
if it was the last thing she did, fired her riflsj one day,
turned to her guide with a satisfied air, and declared.
"There! I just know I hit
something that time. Run
and find out the name of
the animal I shot."
The guide was back in '
a few moments to report,
"He say, ma'am, his name
is Sylvester."
Indulgent parent took
their young hopeful to a,
revival of an old film about
darkest Africa. "What kind
of an animal la that?" de
manded the youngster at
one point in the action. "I
think," said the father, "if
a jaguar."
"How many cylinders?" was the youngster's next eolation.
C ISM. by Bennett Cert. Diatributed by Xing futurei Syndicate
In the Day's News
By FRANK JENKINS
In this space the other day,
we quoted some words of wis
dom proferred in Portland to
the members of the Oregon
Highway Lifesavers by Walter
Q. Lundsford, Western repre
sentative of the Auto Indus
tries Highway Safety Commit
tee. The members of the Ore
gon organization (whose ob
jective is safer highways) were
gathered for their annual con
vention. Mr. Lundstrom was
there to address them. Among
the subjects he touched on was
whether to license teenagers
at age 16 or at age 18.
His thesis was that it doesn't
make much difference. The
big thing, he said, is to TRAIN
THEM TO DRIVE WELL. If
they are WELL trained, he
said, the early age is prefer
able. He added: "Where teen
agers have received adequate
training their accident rate
has been reduced BELOW
that of adults."
It sounds like good common
sense.
BUT it isn't the purpose to
rehash that here today. In
the course of his talk on safe
driving, Mr. Lundsford made
this interesting statement: -
"There is already ONE CAR
for every two people in Ore
gon. There are more auto
mobiles per capita in Oregon
than in ANY OTHER STATE
IN THE UNION - including
California." He forecast an
even greater density of car
ownership in Oregon in the
future. .
He attributed this high
automobile ownership rate to
what he called "Oregon's sub
stantial middle class popula
tion." I LIKE that. It is a tribut;
to Oregon's really admir
able way of life. We have
here in this somewhat more
than a century old state few
people of GREAT wealth. We
have almost NO dire poverty.
We have no fantastically ex
travagant estates. We have
NO foul and teeming slums.
As Mr. Lundsford said in
Portland, what we do have is
a substantial middle class
population - which is reflected
in the fact that Oregon has
more automobiles per capita
than any other state in the
Union - a fact that I wasn't
aware of until he came up
here and told us where we
stand.
In making that statement
he does us a great service.
We've had too many crape
hangers in Oregon In the past
- too many among us who
have howled mournfully about
what Oregon DOESN'T have -including
great wealth and
correspondingly great pover
ty. What we DO have is a
way of life that would be
widely envied if it were bet
ter known.
THANK you, Mr. Lundsford.
You have done for us
something that needed to be
done.
You have told us how for
tunate we are.
AND-
" Let's add down this way
What is true of the PHYSI
OUR DEPENDABLE SERVICE IS NATION WIDE
You need neuer entrust your loued
ones to strangers
If you ever have
need of our service . . .
CALL US COLLECT
Our service will instantly
begin in your behalf.
Ask U About tha OREGON PUNEAAL INSURANCE
heartily recommend and enderit.
CAL state of Oregon is equal
ly true of the STATE OF
MIND that down here between
the 40th and the 44th parallels
of latitude we like to call the
State of Jefferson.
ALL ALONE
Denver - IUPD - State Sen.
Dale Tursi (D-Pueblo), after
hearing numerous colleagues
explain that a drunk driving
measure under debate would
in no way affect them person
ally, commented: "I guess I'm
the only drunk in this place."
OF SMITH & MEN
Bv Jack Smith
(e ISIS Tlmei-Mlrror Syndicate
Our new closet was deliver
ed the other day. What a bless
ing. We ordered it for Doug's
room. That used to be my
den. My den is now the master
bedroom. That used to be my
wife's sewing room. Her sew
ing room is now the living
room, which is also where we
practice for the 1964 Olympic
Games and major league
hockey.
We needed the new closet
because when the house was
built the den didn't have a
closet. At that time the den
was actually a single attached
garage. '
A single attached garage is
about as good for a person as
an appendix. We weren't in
the house six months before
the garage began to look like
a war surplus store. It got so
you couldn't open the door
without it banging into a pre
World War II sofa my wife
was going to upholster some
day.
So we had to build a double
garage and convert the single
attached garage into a den.
Today we can't even get a
single car in the double ga
rage because of the sofa,
which remains un-re-uphol-stered,
and many other price
less relics of the ante bellum
period.
But the single garage was a
good den while it lasted. I
finally surrendered it to Doug
for a bedroom because he
wanted to sleep with his rail
road, baseball bat, aquarium,
stamp collection and dog and
cat, which were in my den
most of the time anyway.
I moved my desk and file
into the master bedroom,
which was fine. I am for
tunate In having a wife who
sleeps quietly enough in the
daytime that she doesn't dis
turb my work.
However, she likes to sew
at night after I have gone to
bed, so I had to move her sew
ing machine into th living
room. If there's any noise I
can't stand it's a whir. I've
never been able to figure out
what she's been sewing at all
these years, but I suppose
some day she'll come up with
i complete wardrobe for "A
Midsummer Night's Dream"
' kmtm
nam MOtoAN - HAiout
DAY Cat MGHT
MEDFORD
Hatfield's Dunes
Leadership Hil
Salem - IUPD - Rep. Rep.
Thomas R. McClellan (D-Neot-su),
said Thursday Gov. Mark
Hatfield has failed to assert
strong leadership for develop
ment of the Oregon Dunes as
a national seashore park.
He said it was "extreme
ly unfortunate" that the fed
eral park proposal did not
come up at Hatfield's state
wide economic conference in
Salem this week.
He crticizad not only Hat
field but other top state offi
cials and economic leaders but
gave no names.
McClellan said a Dunes
Park would attract five to
seven million visitors a year
and could produce $50 miliion
in revenue each year.
The Lincoln county legisla
tor said the reason President
Kennedy recommends a Dunes
park at Point Reyes, Calif.,
instead of Oregon is because
California's governor and its
economic leaders "realize the
economic potential of a na
tional park and are actively
working for Its location in
California." He noted that
Gov. Edmund G. Brown has
offered to have the state buy
the beaches if the federal
government would make a
national park out of the Point
Reyes area.
"I wish our Oregon leader
ship were as visionary," he
said.
McClellan concluded b y
saying that Sen. Maurint Neu
berger (D-Ore.) ,was right
when she said that if Ore
gonians "did not actively work
for development of the sea
shore park, it would go else
where." by William Shakespeare.
The reason we needed the
new closet is that Doug had
to have a place to hang his
clothes. For a time all the
clothes he had were a T-shirt,
Levis, swimming trunks, ten
nis shoe's and a Robin Hood
outfit, all of which we used to
put out for the night, like the
cat.
Now, however, he has a
Boy Scout uniform, a pair of
hard shoes and a suit he has
to wear when he visits his
grandmother. He realizes they
have to be hung up indoors,
The closet It, four feet wide
and two feet deep with slid
ln& doors and two racks - one
for garments and one for
shoes. It's beautiful. The mov
ing men left it In the living
room.
We have to leave It there
until he makes room for It In
his den. The railroad is gone.
He sold it to a younger man
making a neat profit on my
investment. But now there is
the draftlns; board, the labora
tory, the Complete Works of
A. Conan Doyle, the dog, tne
cat, the reptllarium and the
scattered pages of a social
studies theme entitled "Why
the Pirates Will Win the Pen,
nant Again in 1961" by Doug
las Franklin Smith.
It might be some time be
fore all this matter can be re
arranged to admit the new
closet.
But in the interim the new
closet certainly is not going
wasted.
I have found it an excellent
place to put my golf clubs. My
wife has filled the shelf with
hats that either came from or
are destined for a PTA rum
mage sale, and the dog has
taken over the shoe rack.
He won't come out except
to eat.
FOREIGNERS UP NORTH
Little Rock, Ark. - IDHI
Emma Lou Shelton, t, turned
off the television set and start
ed to bed when a turbulent
Civil War saga came on the
screen. Her daddy asked her
what program was on. Noth
ing much," Emma Lou an
swercd. "Just something about
the Yankees and the Ameri
cans."
kmm Hie Cevrtfcevte
iNoooiAss, fvmiAi iooe
PLAN which we
MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFORD.
From Oregon's
Editor's note: Last week
the Mail Tribuna printed an
editorial entitled "Thoughts
on River Use." In which cer
tain ertors. both of faet and
Interpretation, which have
appeared in the Qrsnti Pats
Courier, w e r a criticised.
Herewith is the Grants Pais
editor's reply. Further com
ment appears unnecessary.
-E.A.
WE CAN HANDLE
OUR HOMEWORK
It's very kind of the edi
torial writer of the Medford
Mall Tribune signing himself
E.A. to feel we need assistance
with our homework" and
that he can be of assistance.
His objection to our having
designated Dr. Durno as a
senator stems from the fact
he's the recent successor to
Charley Porter as a member
of the U. S. Congress, but it is
very easy to remember Durno
as a state senator in view of
the very newness of his con
gressional title. Roughly, too,
the Talent project is a sort of
"dam" endeavor In a broad
sense even if the cost will run,
for the overall thing around
25 millions. Maybe, too, it is
nearing completion, but it's
been so many, many years
since the Rogue development
program, upstream, was dis
cussed and fought over that it
just seems impossible any por
tion could be nearing a finish.
The Family Council
Editor'! Note: The Family council comlitt et a judte, a psychia
trist, three clergymen, three editors and a women's editor. Each article
Is a summary Of an actual cane history. The council reports on prob
lems that have been dealt with by responsible asenctes and counselors.
(Copyright 1SSI Oeneral Features Corp.)
Erie G. He refuses our
invitations to parties at our
home.
Claude G. I can't take
hours of inane talk and dirty
jokes.
Eric G My wife and I are
very fond of my brother and
we want to Include him In
our dinner-parties and cele
brations. But If he comes, he
leaves early on some pretext
or other. Also he's refused to
attend the last two get
togethers of friends In our
home.
He's only 25 and maybe
there's still a chance to keep
him from turnng Into an In
tellectual snob. He says our
parties bore him because
everybody shoots off not air,
nobody knows what he's talk
ing about and nobody's listen
ing anyway.
It happens that he's wrong
about that. My guests are sub
stantial business people and
professional men with bright
and clever wives. They know
what the score Is. Of course,
if Claude wants a seminar on
Plato or Pluto at a party, he'd
do better to go down to one
of those Greenwich Village
coffee houses. I admit that
none of my friends talk
Latin or Greek.
But he can learn a lot of
practical and common sense
facts from thorn, and he'd be
better off If he'd unbend and
accept people, Instead of be
coming so standoffish.
Festival To Get
Truck Promotion
The Rogue Valley Pear
Blossom Festival will be pro
moted along the Pacific coast
this month through the co
operation of the Orcgon-Ne-vada-California
Freight lines.
Signs calling attention to
the Festival will be painted
on the side panels of an ONC
truck. The Medford Pear Ship
pers association will finance
cost of developing and paint
ing the panels, Shelby Tuttle,
mnnager, said.
Foster and Kleiscr Will pro
vide labor and installation of
the signs, according to Russ
Jamison, publicity chairman
for the Festival.
The truck will be used on
regular hauls along the Pa
cific coast, according to Cliff
Proctor of ONC.
Additional Information on
promotional plans and special
events will be reviewed at a
meeting of the association at
7 a.m. Tuesday, March 7. The
Festival is scheduled the week
end of April S.
Camp Fire Girls
Tour Mail Tribune
Members of a Camp Fire
Girls troop and their leaders,
Mrs. Rod Miller and Mrs.
Arthur Chipman, toured the
Mail Tribune this week.
Members who visited were
Karen Chipman, Judy Moyer,
Karen Gegner, Kathy Harden
berger, Merry Miller, Carol
Kagy, Wren Wlnnlford, Dana
Holmstrom and Janet Warren
The girls toured the news
room, advertising, circulation,
stereotyping, make-up depart
ments and watched the press
in operation.
ORE.
Apropos E.A.'s last "correc
tion" of our "homework" to
the effect that the whole up
river project isn't about to
take physical form but he
hopes "devoutly" soon will, it
Just seems impossible, again,
that after all these years the
project isn't beginning to take
at least a semblance of physi
cal shape, as we suggested and
had hoped.
We've been in this commu
nity only about two years and
when it is brought home to us
via E.A.'s editorial Feb. 24
that the proposal to do some
thing about controlling the
Rogue River via dams across
its upstream tributaries, dates
back even "before the big
fight of 1S48" we feel a bit
consoled that we aren't able to
grasp in TWO years what has
been going on Upstream and
in the high terrains since BE
FORE 1948 and "the big fight"
our editorial writer talks
about. We are not familiar
with the big fight; seems ri
diculous there should be a big
fight, or a little one, either
where the interests of the
people of a valley such as the
the Rogue s is concerned.
But out here where the
Good Lord evidently thought
a lot of the people he had in
mind would want to live, for
one reason or another, He
stretched forth His hand in no
begrudging manner and we've
a veritable natural beauty
Claude G. I'm sorry, but
I've had my fill of those
windbags and backslappers. I
can think of a dozen other
ways to spend my evenings
which would be more enjoy
able and profitable and just
as sociable, too.
This has nothing to do with
snobbery. Quite the opposite.
In fact, I realize I know very
little and I'm so avid for
knowledge that I'll go any
where to pick up a few accu
rate facts and some authen
tic enlightment. I'm always
eager to expand by horizons.
But what hapnens at Eric's
shindigs? Someone starts talk
ing about the Belgian Congo
trouble, and just when one or
two others begin to pool what
they're read or heard and a
real meaty discussion is com
ing up, bang, some playboy
says that reminds him of the
joke about the woman saying,
"when I was pregnant with
my son, the Medicine Man.'
Good talk is constantly
sabotaged by people who
can't Join In, so they end It
with insipid and irrelevant
jokes. The final hours then
become a contest for who can
tell the dirtiest story.
I'd rather sit around with
a couple of friends who can
engage in lively conversation
rather than just a lot of back
room noise.
The Council; As the Good
Book says, there's a "time to
weep, and a time to laugh,
any many's the performer
who wished his audience
knew the difference. Here's
Eric wishing Claude knew
that party-time Isn't exactly
"Sunrise Semester."
We suggest that Eric be
content to have Claude put in
a polite,- token appearance at
those parties, rather than ex
pect him to enjoy them. Only
an Abou ben Adhem, who
loves all his fellowmen, can
accept and enter into the
spirit of hit-or-miss camara
derle. An extrovert, a real
outgoing person, has a good
time in a luck-of-the-draw
crowd. Claude is not outgoing
and prefers to be with those
who share his Interests.
To some extent we commi
serate with Claude on the
deterioration of the art of
conversation. The best talk I
the outgrowth of reading,
and contemplation which does
not allow much time for par
ties! But there are still people
who are both sociable and
knowledgeable, and Claude
seems to know where to find
them. With some forebear-
ance, we venture to say, he
may even find a few at one
of Eric's ho-ho-ho sessions.
To aid him In the pursuit,
we submit Herbert Spencer's
index to people at gabfests.
He found that small minds
discuss people ' and gossip;
average minds, happenings
and events; profound minds,
ideas and principles.
However, we join Eric in
warning him not to dismiss
people as "windbags" just be
cause they retreat from a
penetrating analysis of our
Gold Reserve or the Laos Sit
uation, while sipping after-
dinner cognac. Many of them
do know a great deal, and
perhaps more than Claude
on one or two subjects. But
they're In the mood for tri
vialities. And, as Sir T.Tax Beerbohm
decided, "Good sense about
trivialities is better than non
sense about things that
matter."
Press
spot. For it to be marred as
God s creation set about to
develop it, to take advantage
of all the things placed within
man s grasp, by factional bick
erings seems a bit out of tune,
until we realize that a crea
ture in the original beauty
spot of Creation stirred up a
devil of a stink and got things
all out of kilter for a while.
There have been great
dams, medium sized dams and
little dams built back whore
this writer once lived and
worked - quickly and without
any ado. We've seen huge
cofferdams sunk across a wide
expanse of valley, as rough as
any in the Rogue basin, to
pave the way for pouring of
the foundation work for the
great visible superstructure
that controlled little streams
to make a big stream form a
magnificent lake and harness
waters for the several bene
fits of mankind. We've seen
huge pipe lines, uphill, too,
mind you, over mountains
even, through which Irriga
tion water was pumped at a
minimum of cost to those in
need, Maybe there have been
long drawn out details and
controversies over some of our
mighty dams, but that docs
not mean it should take so
tarnation long to get one
started. Neither does the fact
we've been talking and talk
ing about the Upper Rogue
River Basin project, excuse
the delay in getting something
done. It doesn't excuse the
factions that hamstrung the
project so long and it doesn't
redound to the credit of any
one or ones having a part in
delaying the program. And
there isn't any excuse in
dragging out a thing like this
except the machinations of
politicians and factional
groups, whom, we many times
fear, would rather not see
Josephine County get any
benefits. Neither should it
have taken all these years
and the "plugging away
month after month and year
after year" of any group in
terested in getting the basin
project under physical way
When we came on this post,
we immediately became
aware of the group of intelli
gent men interested in furth
ering the basin development
plan. We worked with them
to the best of our humble
abilities, intent only to do any
thing we could to promote the
work they were doing and still
are. But we've seen, time and
again since, little, stinking,
bickerings and differences
that didn't amount to a hill of
beans as compared with the
importance of the overall job
at hand. We've seen politician
and basin development per
sonnel cross swords over tech
nicalities that of themselves
only stumbled and slowed the
job; we've seen and heard
Charley Porter, the then con
gressman from this district,
lambasted and we've been In
agreement and disagreement,
with those who did the pum-
mellng; sometimes it looked
like anything Porter wanted
to do didn't suit the group so
vitally interested In the river
plan and sometimes it looked
like the then congressman
didn't want to "hoe corn" with
the proponents of the plan,
but he did, Now Dr. Durno is
in the saddle where Porter
used to bounce and jounce and
weave only to straighten and
ride high back of the pommel
with his feet braced solidly in
the stirrups. Durno knows, ac
cording to the way he talked
to us before he went to Wash
ington for his first session of
Congress, that his political
life depends on his constitu
ents; he seems to realize very
seriously the job he's under
taken at the Instance of the
voters and In straightening
NOW-
ACME
HARDWARE
Hlti yau IMPROVE tr REPAIR yeur
heme is EAST CREDIT TERMS!
NO CASH DOWN!
IIP TO 24 MONTHS TO PAYI
SMALL MONTHLY PAYMENTS
that tit TOUR Mittl
If vsu'rt l bit shirt it cull . . ,
tiki advantai it thli CONVENIENT
PAYMENT PLAN. luy ANTTHINS yiv
START NOW I
It Cotts LESS
Than You Think I
241 $. Central at 10th
free, Easy Parking
out a delay in allocation of
funds for further surveys, or
tests or whatever the techni
cal job upstream is termed. It
is to the best interests of all
concerned, NOW, that our con
gressman keep a keen ear to
any groundswells from back
home to see that as far as he
has to do with it, no further
little bickerings and delays in
the upstream development
program are permitted. We
feel he will do the job right
and well. And if the men pro
moting tne project, the Rogue
River Flood Control and Wa
ter Resources Association, will
taKe a new girding of their
loins and stick solely to the
Job at hand rather than try to
tioaic around with the Merlin
Irrigation project and the
much discussed Copper Can
yon proposal, much good will
be accomplished in bringing
to completion the too long
drawn out upstream develop
ment and control job. Too
much riming to and fro does-
n t tend to accomplish much.
We've yet to understand
why so often someone remov
ttlETRECAL
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THE EASY, SCIENTIFIC
WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT
ONE DAY'S DIET
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doein't upset your stomach
THOREXIN
The Guided Antitussive
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r
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PREPARATION H
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pub
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KIWI
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EGSfll
FRISOtlMIONT
SPietALiiTiA
63S
FRIDAY. MARCH 3.
ed from our actual valley,
some ones who should have
no reason to be jealous that
we get something here in
Josephine must stick their
nibs In when we set our minds
and hearts on jobs for our
benefit. If Josephine countians
don't fight for their own bet
terment, opposition will con
tinue to mount to our chagrin.
And the Medford editorial
COMPETITIVE jr
I PRICES fjfl
I Pllic. I tOUtfl I
V PLUS VfWjJAG!HI J
k SERVICE hiiit mil f
Tfe L A. Holmes Agency
SINCE 1909
Medical Center Bldg. Phone SP 2-4444
KINS-SIZE
VENETIAN BRONZE
ROLL-A-RACKt SIT
Four tray Ublti on
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rack In Cal-Dak'i
i m 1 1 1, excluiive
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iign. Stain and l
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trayi.
WAS Sl 79 J
mow
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VAL CREAM
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VALUE I
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MFDFOKDS ORIGINAL PRICE
1961
writer to the contrary not
withstanding, would do well
to be Informed we can take
care of our homework and
we'd like much that he desist
from ridiculing things we feel
very concerned about and
take care of HIS homework.
We like our neighbors just as
long as they don't start "kick
ing our dog around."-Granta
Pais Courier.
SH0P WESTERN
THRIFT
95
"LIDO"
l CHAP-ANS
!KBC.AM: 39c
professional haircuts at home!
5 pc. Fostoria
FAMILY BARBER
HM11 WHAT YOU GET.
powerful efecfrk clipper
with professional type
clipper of a dei
barber shear
barber comb
$4"
topenno aHacnrftenf
turn booklet ,?
Olafsen
OLA-BERON-12
' Vitamins ;
11 SUPER.POTENT VITAMINS
. 4 RICH BLOOD BUILDERS
Flinrss mt the average fam
ily's yearly expenditure for pre- ,
scribed medicines comes out to
only pennies a day. That's ritit i
a few pennies i day assure.
speedy relief from pain fast '
recovery from illness.
Hithlnf alii worth so much to I
your family costs so little it
prescribed medicine. 5
Ct Adnrthm tttlwaia tot. Its'
Pre Delivery In Medford
CtffiK
001
W N. CINTRAU